Why You Feel Insecure in Relationships (And It’s NOT Your Fault) | Dr. Amir Levine

This episode is brought to you by: AG1: Get FREE AG1 Flavour Sampler, AGZ Sampler, Vitamin D3+K2 and Welcome Kit with your first AG1 subscription (worth $87, US only) https://bit.ly/43FwxQl BON CHARGE: Save 20% off all Bon Charge products with code LIVEMORE https://boncharge.com/livemore THE WAY APP: Get 30 FREE sessions and begin your journey towards peace, calm and wellbeing. https://thewayapp.com/livemore What if the secret to great health, more energy and feeling happier isn’t a diet, a fitness routine or a supplement – but the quality of your relationships? This conversation, with neuroscientist Dr Amir Levine, will challenge your preconceptions about how you relate to others and, more importantly, empower you to change that. Dr Levine is Associate Professor of Clinical Psychiatry at Columbia University and bestselling author of Attached – a landmark title about attachment theory in adults. But it’s his new book Secure: The Revolutionary Guide to Creating a Secure Life, that we’re diving into today. In it, he makes the case that all of us, no matter what our attachment style, can learn to build relationships that help us thrive – in all areas of our life. Not familiar with the four attachment styles? Dr Levine explains all and tells us how they might show up in everyday life. They aren’t disorders that need to be fixed, but natural variations in how we understand and interact with others. And getting to know yours could help you feel more secure in your relationships, work and wellbeing. We explore the evolutionary science behind why our brains, which are wired for connection, can experience social exclusion as physical pain. It’s what makes ignoring someone just as damaging as lashing out – and explains why positive interactions with strangers (a hello here, a wave there) don’t just make your day, they can actually change your brain’s structure over time. If, as Dr Levine reveals, 95 percent of our adult attachment has nothing to do with childhood, that means we have huge potential for change. We don’t have to be held back by patterns we thought were with us for life. We just need to play to our strengths in relationships – and give our brains the right signals in the present. And if that sounds promising but puzzling, Dr Levine shares lots of practical ideas and tools you can use right away – including his five pillars of secure attachment and two, game-changing rules for managing conflict. We also discuss why some common ideas, like seeking closure after a break-up or setting boundaries, might not offer the security you’d like. What I hope you’ll take from this conversation is a sense of optimism. It’s the ideal episode for anyone feeling stuck in a relationship, struggling with conflict, or who simply wants to feel more secure in themselves. #feelbetterlivemore Find out about Dr Levine: Website https://www.amirlevinemd.com/ Dr Levine’s books: Secure: The Revolutionary Guide to Creating a Secure Life UK https://amzn.to/486u3PF US https://amzn.to/4tCadEe Attached: How the science of adult attachment can help you find – and keep - love UK https://amzn.to/4cc5sda US https://amzn.to/4tyWaPD #feelbetterlivemore #feelbetterlivemorepodcast ------- Order MAKE CHANGE THAT LASTS. US & Canada version https://amzn.to/3RyO3SL, UK version https://amzn.to/3Kt5rUK ----- Follow Dr Chatterjee at: Website: https://drchatterjee.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drchatterjee Twitter: https://twitter.com/drchatterjeeuk Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drchatterjee/ Newsletter: https://drchatterjee.com/subscription DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

Dr. Rangan Chatterjeehost

Apr 8, 20261h 47mWatch on YouTube ↗

EPISODE INFO

Released: April 8, 2026
Duration: 1h 47m
Channel: Dr Rangan Chatterjee
Watch on YouTube: ▶ Open ↗

EPISODE DESCRIPTION

This episode is brought to you by: AG1: Get FREE AG1 Flavour Sampler, AGZ Sampler, Vitamin D3+K2 and Welcome Kit with your first AG1 subscription (worth $87, US only) https://bit.ly/43FwxQl BON CHARGE: Save 20% off all Bon Charge products with code LIVEMORE https://boncharge.com/livemore THE WAY APP: Get 30 FREE sessions and begin your journey towards peace, calm and wellbeing. https://thewayapp.com/livemore What if the secret to great health, more energy and feeling happier isn’t a diet, a fitness routine or a supplement – but the quality of your relationships? This conversation, with neuroscientist Dr Amir Levine, will challenge your preconceptions about how you relate to others and, more importantly, empower you to change that. Dr Levine is Associate Professor of Clinical Psychiatry at Columbia University and bestselling author of Attached – a landmark title about attachment theory in adults. But it’s his new book Secure: The Revolutionary Guide to Creating a Secure Life, that we’re diving into today. In it, he makes the case that all of us, no matter what our attachment style, can learn to build relationships that help us thrive – in all areas of our life. Not familiar with the four attachment styles? Dr Levine explains all and tells us how they might show up in everyday life. They aren’t disorders that need to be fixed, but natural variations in how we understand and interact with others. And getting to know yours could help you feel more secure in your relationships, work and wellbeing. We explore the evolutionary science behind why our brains, which are wired for connection, can experience social exclusion as physical pain. It’s what makes ignoring someone just as damaging as lashing out – and explains why positive interactions with strangers (a hello here, a wave there) don’t just make your day, they can actually change your brain’s structure over time. If, as Dr Levine reveals, 95 percent of our adult attachment has nothing to do with childhood, that means we have huge potential for change. We don’t have to be held back by patterns we thought were with us for life. We just need to play to our strengths in relationships – and give our brains the right signals in the present. And if that sounds promising but puzzling, Dr Levine shares lots of practical ideas and tools you can use right away – including his five pillars of secure attachment and two, game-changing rules for managing conflict. We also discuss why some common ideas, like seeking closure after a break-up or setting boundaries, might not offer the security you’d like. What I hope you’ll take from this conversation is a sense of optimism. It’s the ideal episode for anyone feeling stuck in a relationship, struggling with conflict, or who simply wants to feel more secure in themselves. #feelbetterlivemore Find out about Dr Levine: Website https://www.amirlevinemd.com/ Dr Levine’s books: Secure: The Revolutionary Guide to Creating a Secure Life UK https://amzn.to/486u3PF US https://amzn.to/4tCadEe Attached: How the science of adult attachment can help you find – and keep - love UK https://amzn.to/4cc5sda US https://amzn.to/4tyWaPD #feelbetterlivemore #feelbetterlivemorepodcast ------- Order MAKE CHANGE THAT LASTS. US & Canada version https://amzn.to/3RyO3SL, UK version https://amzn.to/3Kt5rUK ----- Follow Dr Chatterjee at: Website: https://drchatterjee.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drchatterjee Twitter: https://twitter.com/drchatterjeeuk Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drchatterjee/ Newsletter: https://drchatterjee.com/subscription DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.

SPEAKERS

Dr. Rangan Chatterjee
host
Medical doctor, author, and podcast host focused on lifestyle medicine and wellbeing.

EPISODE SUMMARY

In this episode of Dr Rangan Chatterjee, featuring Dr. Rangan Chatterjee and Dr. Amir Levine, Why You Feel Insecure in Relationships (And It’s NOT Your Fault) | Dr. Amir Levine explores attachment science explains insecurity and a practical path to lasting security A “secure life” comes from using relationships as effective emotion-regulation systems that create felt safety and support exploration rather than triggering distress.

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