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Re:Thinking with Adam GrantRe:Thinking with Adam Grant

How to sustain a vibe with Olympic champions Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir

To celebrate the launch of his new book, Vibe, Adam is doing a special series on how to build strong connections. First up are Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir, the most decorated figure skaters in Olympic history, who teamed up before they were ten and won three golds and two silvers over 22 years together. In this episode, Tessa and Scott share how stark differences in their personalities helped and hindered their work together, demonstrate how they learned to have difficult conversations, and explain why you don’t need to be alike to be aligned around a common goal. Adam introduces the three different wavelengths people can connect on, and explores how Tessa and Scott’s vibe evolved to support their success over time. To preorder Vibe, join Adam on tour, and take a quiz about how you connect, visit www.adamgrant.net/vibe. And for more from Tessa, check out her new podcast Virtuoso: https://www.instagram.com/tessavirtue17/?hl=en Follow our podcasts! ReThinking with Adam Grant: https://link.mgln.ai/kdYcyx The TED Podcasts is a collection of podcasts for the curious. The TED Podcasts videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy (https://www.ted.com/about/our-organiz...). For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at https://media-requests.ted.com.

Tessa VirtueguestAdam GranthostScott Moirguest
Oct 8, 202642mWatch on YouTube ↗

At a glance

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Olympic champions reveal how to sustain partnership “vibe” over decades

  1. Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir explain how a long-running elite partnership succeeded by allowing continual evolution rather than enforcing fixed rules for decades.
  2. Their chemistry was developed through deliberate alignment—especially an early, coach-led “code of respect” that banned blame and name-calling and protected the partnership itself.
  3. They reframed conflict as task-focused information, using routines (no fighting on the ice, structured sentence starters, and scheduled check-ins) to prevent disagreements from becoming personal.
  4. They relied heavily on behavioral trust—proving reliability under pressure—even during periods when their off-ice friendship and emotional closeness waxed and waned.
  5. Using Adam Grant’s “allies, pals, companions” framework, they describe moving between modes over time, intentionally adding personal time near competitions and using emotional acknowledgement to deepen trust.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Compatibility is built, not found.

Virtue and Moir were paired largely due to circumstance (availability, height, basic athletic fit), not personality matching, yet they built elite chemistry over time through shared habits, trust, and deliberate communication.

You don’t need to be alike to be aligned.

They describe being “opposite ends” temperamentally—Scott more fiery and expressive, Tessa more even-keeled—and using those differences as complementary strengths rather than threats.

Create a “code of respect” before conflict escalates.

A pivotal early meeting with coach Suzanne Killing led them to explicitly define unacceptable behaviors (no name-calling, no blaming, no coaching each other) and to protect the partnership as its own asset.

Separate task disagreement from personal judgment.

They treated friction as information about the work, aiming for task conflict without letting it become relationship conflict; their “safe place” rule (no arguing on the ice) helped contain spillover.

Behavioral trust can outperform emotional closeness.

They distinguish emotional trust from behavioral trust, emphasizing the latter: years of evidence that each would show up, do the work, and deliver under pressure—even when personally misaligned.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

We couldn't operate within this one set of standard rules and expect that to work for two decades.

— Tessa Virtue

You didn't need to be alike to be aligned.

— Tessa Virtue

I often say that he's the kind of person that can change the temperature of the room when he walks in.

— Tessa Virtue

The conflict almost became information.

— Tessa Virtue

We felt like two hearts beating at the same time, you know, breathing at the same time, there for each other, looking in each other's eyes, squeezing each other's hands.

— Scott Moir

Partnership evolution over decadesArranged pairing vs developed compatibilityOpposite personalities and complementary rolesCode of respect and behavioral normsTask conflict vs relationship conflictBehavioral trust vs emotional trustAllies–pals–companions relationship framework

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