5 Habits Keeping you STUCK & 5 Ways to Get UNSTUCK | Shadé Zahrai

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   Are you Stuck?

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai0:00

      There are a number of things you're unintentionally doing that are keeping you stuck, and this feeling can lead you to feel frustrated, disheartened, despondent, or even numb if it persists. It also means you're not progressing towards your goals and you're stagnating. So if you're feeling this now, or if you've ever felt this in the past, in this episode, I wanna share with you five habits that could be contributing to you feeling stuck and not

2. 0:23 – 1:38

   1. Infomania due to FOMO. Can't focus on tasks. Busy all the time, yet no progress.

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai0:23

      progressing, and simple yet essential principles to get unstuck for good. So let's get right to it. The first reason why you might be stuck, you're an info maniac. Are you obsessed with learning and acquiring knowledge, and maybe have a fear of being out of the loop? Do you always feel like you're always on? You might be someone who's constantly googling, "How does this work?" and, "What's that made of?" Or you might have an excessive need to constantly check emails, social media, and online news. [upbeat music] [laughs] [static] It's been called info mania, which isn't a clinical diagnosis, but it has been linked to a fear of missing out. I only came across the term last year, and I can definitely see how it's playing out given this information overloaded world that we're all living in and the compulsive need that some people have to consume information. But here's the thing, this insatiable thirst for knowledge or to have your finger on the pulse at all times can seriously reduce your ability to focus on tasks. It reduces your mental sharpness, and it can even impact the quality of your sleep. And all of these things take you away from moving forwards towards your goals and towards your aspirations, so you end up feeling busy all the time and yet not progressing, keeping you stuck in information overload.

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   2. The Knowing-doing trap.

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai1:38

      The second reason why you might feel stuck is that you're in the knowing-doing trap. You're passionate about self-development. You're committed to your growth, and you already know a lot of stuff about what you could do to develop, to advance, and to achieve your goals and better your life. You know it intellectually, but you don't do it. You don't implement. You don't apply the knowledge. This is called the knowing-doing gap, coined by Jeffrey Pfeffer and Robert Sutton in their Harvard Business Review article all the way back in 1999. It was clearly a problem then, and I believe it's only become magnified since, and it's so easy to get stuck into it. In this information overloaded world that we live in, where a lot of us are also experiencing info mania, there's almost a seductive quality associated with learning, absorbing, and consuming information. Each time you do, you get that beautiful, rewarding dopamine hit. But then you get stuck in self-development paralysis, overload, so it's easier to keep consuming than it is to take action, so you stay stuck in endless consumption. You know, but you don't

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   3. Achievement addict. Productivity guilt. Always short of time. Self criticism. Burnout.

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai2:44

      do. The third reason why you might be feeling stuck is that you're an achievement addict. You're constantly looking for the next goal. As soon as you achieve something, before you even have time to celebrate or acknowledge what you've done, you immediately think, "Okay, what next?" And set yourself the next goal. Endless to-do lists, endless things to achieve. You also feel guilty when you stop working. You experience productivity guilt the moment you stop creating, achieving, producing, or working hard, and often have intrusive thoughts about how you're not good enough because you haven't done enough. Your sense of identity has become intertwined with what you do. You believe you are your achievements. Not only that, you always feel short of time, that there's too much to do and not enough hours in the day. You feel like you're falling behind, and this leads to self-judgment and self-criticism, and then pushing yourself even harder to compensate. So you not only feel stuck even though you're continually busy, but you're also dangerously close to burning out. The fourth reason why you

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   4. Multitask. Keep switching tasks to avoid the pain of boredom. Linked to FOMO.

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai3:43

      might be feeling stuck is that you endlessly multitask. You keep switching tasks at work or in life to avoid the pain of boredom. You've become impatient, and you want things here and now, even if it's that dopamine hit of the switch. Switching and moving between different tasks keeps things fun and exciting, but constantly switching can create a dopamine addiction feedback loop. Basically, you're rewarding your brain for losing focus and for constantly searching for external stimulation: phone, email, new spreadsheet, new book, new podcast, which doesn't help and actually conditions you to do it more. You can't be still, but stillness is important for charging your mental batteries for reflection and for introspection to make sure whatever you are occupying your time with is actually aligned with where you want to go, rather than just filling up your time to avoid being bored. Research suggests this is linked to a fear of missing out.

6. 4:36 – 6:23

   5. Attachment to phone.

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai4:37

      And the fifth reason why you might be feeling stuck has to do with your attachment to your phone. Your phone has become like a limb. One of the most obvious reasons why people feel stuck is that they simply can't focus, which means they can't make progress on whatever it is they're trying to do, and without progress, we feel stuck. There's one very obvious reason for that, aside from what we've already explored. If you're addicted to your phone and it's almost like an extra limb that you can't live without, it can affect you in more ways than one. I'm guessing you have your phone right beside you on your desk when you're trying to work, to focus, and to get stuff done. Your phone will be right by your bedside when you're trying to sleep. It's probably with you right now if you're not watching this on your phone. But if you're trying to work and you have your phone nearby, here's why it's not the best idea. Trying to focus while your phone is visually observable on your desk leads you to experience brain drain. [brain drain sound] Having your phone on your desk, even if it's face down and on silent, negatively affects your ability to focus. A 2017 study found that the mere presence of your own smartphone reduces your available cognitive capacity. Even if you're able to resist the temptation to check the phone, having to resist the urge actually eats up your brain power and requires attentional resources. Don't check my phone. Don't check my phone. [static] And this means you have less available brain resources to apply to the task at hand and to actually focus. So it keeps you feeling stuck because it takes you longer to do what you need to do, makes it harder for you to focus, and leaves you feeling depleted [whoosh] So which of the five do you relate to the most? Leave a comment with which one you resonated with. And now, to help you get unstuck, here are five recommendations. [whoosh] First, if you're suffering from info mania,

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   1. Stop & resist the urge.

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai6:23

      stop. Take a step back, breathe. [whoosh] The next time you have an urge to pick up your phone to Google something, to open a new tab, to read that pressing news article, or consume more information, resist. Resist for just five minutes. This way, you're consciously reclaiming control and you can incrementally start to improve your capacity for longer focus periods by training your brain. And you'll start to detach from your need to constantly have all the answers here

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   2. Identify just one thing to put into practice.

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai6:50

      and now. [whoosh] Second, if you're stuck in the Knowing-doing trap and you can't seem to take action or implement, go back to the last podcast you listened to, YouTube video you watched, or book you read, and identify just one thing that you're going to put into practice. Just one thing. And then take action. Don't jump to the next thing until you've invested time in implementation. You will be so much better for

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   3. Carve out mindful leisure time.

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai7:15

      it. Third, if you're an Achievement addict, carve out and schedule mindful leisure time. [whoosh] It's essential. Surround yourself with people who value you [buzzer] for who you are, not what you've done. And remind yourself that you are worth so much more than what you've achieved. This might require you to unfollow connections on LinkedIn who continually post about their new promotion or their industry awards. Consciously stop comparing yourself, and you'll find that when you slow down, there's actually a lot to appreciate.

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    4. Recondition yourself to be comfortable being alone with yourself & your thoughts.

    1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai7:45

       Fourth, if you're an endless Multitasker, you'll know that constantly doing things [whoosh] and swapping between tasks is more stressful than rewarding. So you need to recondition yourself to become comfortable with being alone with yourself and with your thoughts. When you're feeling a little agitated because you're bored of whatever you're currently doing, see if you can resist the urge to open a new tab or reach for your phone. Stick with what you're doing for just five minutes more, even if it means being alone with your thoughts for an extra five minutes. You can grab a pen and paper and journal. Write about what you're experiencing. That in itself can be a really powerful mindfulness practice. This way, you can incrementally start to improve your ability to resist the urge to move on to new things immediately by training your willpower muscle. You'll also start to normalize that feeling of boredom and can learn to reframe it as a moment of stillness. You might find that over time, that urge to multitask actually starts to become much weaker. Now, an extra tip that I find very helpful is when you notice the urge to move on to the next thing, stop and take a deep breath. [inhales] [exhales] This can become your centering practice to remind yourself to be in the moment rather than to operate on impulse. And

11. 9:00 – 11:20

    5. Put your phone out of sight.

    1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai9:00

       fifth, who's addicted to their phone? If this is you and you're struggling to focus and your phone's on your desk where you can see it, put it away. Put it out of sight, in a drawer, in your bag, wherever you won't see it or be tempted to check it. This makes sure that you're able to retain the highest possible cognitive and attentional capacity, and it helps you avoid brain drain. It's simple, but it can be really powerful. Now, if it helps, set yourself a timer where you'll say to yourself, "I'm going to focus on this task for 45 minutes, and when the alarm goes off, I'll then get to check my phone." Sometimes a form of positive reinforcement like this can help. The fact is, as humans, we thrive when we feel that we're making progress. Making progress on our goals has been shown in research to lead to more positive emotions and greater life satisfaction. And I'm sure we can all vouch for this from our own personal experience. It feels fantastic. We also know that when we aren't progressing, we feel stuck, and sometimes the reason why we engage in any of these five things I just shared with you is because we don't really know the underlying reason why we're doing what we're doing. We're just going through the motions just like everyone else. But when we're not clear on why what we're doing is important and how it links to our underlying values and purpose for living, it's all too easy to feel stuck, stagnant, and unfulfilled. So take time to reflect on your life and the impact that you want to have. How do you want to make a difference? How are you making your life one of service and being of value to others? When you can link what you do to this underlying driver, nothing is too much trouble, and there is always time. So I hope this episode was an eye-opener for some habits that you might need to change. Now, remember, it's all about small, incremental progress. Find one that really resonated and take action. If you enjoyed this episode, please give it a like. It really helps the channel. And hit the subscribe button. Also, hit the bell icon to be notified whenever I release a new video. And I'd love to hear from you in the comments, which of the five habits do you do most often, and what is your commitment to stop? Thanks so much for tuning in. I'm Shadé Zahrai, and I'll see you next time. [upbeat music]

Episode duration: 11:20