Skip to content
Dr. Shadé ZahraiDr. Shadé Zahrai

5 Steps to Master your Inner-Critics - (Part 2 of 2)

Continuing on from the first video (introducing you to 5 of your inner-critics) in this 2-part series, I will take you through the 5 questions to self-coach your way out of being a slave to your inner critics. "Life is a constant struggle, not only against forces around us, but above all against our own 'ego’." The inner-critics can be attributed to the lower-self or ego. They can be a self-created source of anguish, anxiety, unfulfillment and unhappiness. "Just as the earth attracts everything to the centre of gravity, and every object thrown upward into space will come down, so also material ideas and worldly thoughts attract man to the centre of self. Anger, passion, ignorance, prejudice, greed, envy, covetousness, jeal­ousy and suspicion prevent man from ascending to the realms of holi­ness, imprisoning him in the claws of self and the cage of egotism.” I'd love to know in the comments about how you subdue your inner-critics. And in case you missed it, here's the link to Part 1 (Are you a Slave of your Inner-Critics? | Meet your 5 Critics): https://youtu.be/EDpa9OnWhwE Produced by Shadé Zahrai & Faysal Sekkouah -------------------- 🚀FREE TRAINING– Career Clarity: https://www.shadezahrai.com/cct-registration To find out more about Shadé, visit the website: https://www.shadezahrai.com FOLLOW ON SOCIAL: • Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shadezahrai/ • TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@shadezahrai • Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shadezahraispeaker • LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shadezahrai

Dr. Shadé Zahraihost
Jul 31, 20217mWatch on YouTube ↗

At a glance

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Five self-coaching steps to calm inner critics and reclaim confidence

  1. Inner critics are framed as ego-driven voices that can sabotage action, confidence, and self-worth, often becoming stronger when you try to suppress them.
  2. The recommended approach is to calm and subdue inner critics through awareness and emotional distance rather than “just ignore them” willpower tactics.
  3. The five-step method progresses from identifying which critic is speaking, to uncovering its protective motive, to testing the story against evidence and alternatives.
  4. Techniques like disassociation (“my critic says…”) and ‘name it to tame it’ help reduce fusion with the critic’s narrative and improve emotional regulation.
  5. With practice, neuroplasticity enables new thought patterns, reinforced by compassionate, realistic self-talk and deliberate attention to healthier inner states (the ‘two wolves’ fable).

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Don’t fight your inner critic—subdue it by reducing attention and reactivity.

The video argues that critics can become more persistent when forcibly silenced; calming them works better than a willpower-only “ignore it” approach.

Start with precise identification: who is speaking and what story is being pushed?

Labeling the specific critic and its narrative creates awareness and reveals irrationality, making it easier to intervene rather than absorb the message as truth.

Create distance by changing the grammar of the thought.

Rephrasing from “I’m a failure” to “my inner judge says I’m a failure” separates your identity from the critic and lowers emotional intensity.

Assume the critic is trying to protect you—then clarify what threat it imagines.

By asking what it’s protecting you from (failure, rejection, the unknown, even success), you uncover the underlying fear and can evaluate it more objectively.

Differentiate real risk from ego-driven threat escalation.

A real risk may be a genuine skill gap; an ego-driven threat is the catastrophic leap to “I’m not valuable, I’ll be exposed, I’ll be fired,” which fuels paralysis.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

I'd like to rephrase that to, your ego can be your worst enemy, with your inner-critics being an integral manifestation of your ego.

— Dr. Shadé Zahrai

The thing is, the ego and these inner-critics don't respond well to being silenced. They actually thrive on attention, and they can become rebellious.

— Dr. Shadé Zahrai

Psychiatrist Dr. Daniel Siegel coined the phrase, "Name it to tame it," which relates to emotional regulation and how by naming the emotion, you can actually reduce your experience of that emotion.

— Dr. Shadé Zahrai

Your thoughts don't always reflect the truth, and often they cause you to view things with an exaggerated negative bias.

— Dr. Shadé Zahrai

The old Cherokee simply smiled and replied, "The one you feed."

— Old Cherokee (fable)

Inner-critic voices as ego manifestationsDisassociation and “name it to tame it”Protective intent vs genuine riskCatastrophizing and cognitive distortionsEvidence testing and best-case scenariosCognitive shifting to break autopilotI am statements and compassionate self-responseNeuroplasticity and rewiring habitsCherokee “two wolves” attention metaphor

High quality AI-generated summary created from speaker-labeled transcript.

Get more out of YouTube videos.

High quality summaries for YouTube videos. Accurate transcripts to search & find moments. Powered by ChatGPT & Claude AI.

iOSAndroidClaudeChrome