Dr. Shadé Zahrai5 Ways to Look More Confident – When You're Struggling To | Shade Zahrai
CHAPTERS
- 0:00 – 0:30
Confidence vs. looking confident: why perception drives opportunity
Shadé opens by separating how confident you feel from how confident you appear. She explains that workplace perception strongly influences whether others see you as competent and leadership-ready.
- •Confidence affects how competence is perceived at work
- •Being noticed for promotions/leadership is tied to projecting confidence
- •The episode focuses on outward signals that shape others’ judgments
- 0:30 – 1:30
Confidence is learnable—and it boosts performance and advancement
She challenges the idea that confidence is something you’re born with, framing it as a trainable skill. She links confidence to productivity, risk-taking, and promotion outcomes, emphasizing that perception can outweigh actual achievements.
- •Confidence is a skill, not a fixed trait
- •Research links confidence to productivity and healthy risk-taking
- •People who seem confident are more likely to be promoted—even over higher performers
- •The “confidence equation” includes both inner state and outward appearance
- 1:30 – 2:01
Why appearing confident can matter more than feeling confident
Shadé explains that internal confidence doesn’t always translate externally, especially for softly spoken or reserved professionals. She sets up the five practical, research-backed behaviors that help you “exude” confidence daily.
- •Feeling confident is important, but signaling it is critical
- •Reserved communication styles may hide confidence
- •Practical, repeatable behaviors can change how you’re perceived
- •Transition into five research-backed tactics
- 2:01 – 3:01
Trick #1: Tall, open posture to signal power
She details a simple posture reset—standing tall, shoulders back, chin up—to immediately project self-assuredness. She cites research linking closed body language to stress hormones and reduced feelings of power.
- •Low confidence often shows up as physically shrinking
- •Posture steps: lengthen spine, shoulders down/back, chin up
- •Open body language projects authority and poise
- •Research: slouching linked to lower testosterone and higher cortisol
- 3:01 – 3:31
Trick #2: Smile to elevate mood and sound more confident
Smiling is framed as a fast way to uplift your mood and change how others experience you. Shadé references how smiling affects brain chemistry and cites a public-speaking expert on its impact on voice and presence.
- •Smiling can improve mood via endorphin release
- •It makes you appear friendly, approachable, and composed
- •A smile can make your voice more pleasant to listen to
- •Confidence is communicated through warmth and ease
- 3:31 – 4:02
Trick #3: Slow down your speech to project composure
She notes that nervousness often speeds up speech, which can signal insecurity or lack of control. Speaking clearly with intentional pauses helps others follow your message and read you as calm and confident.
- •Fast speech can reflect nerves and insecurity
- •Controlled pace communicates calm and self-control
- •Strategic pauses increase clarity and authority
- •Slower delivery helps listeners retain your message
- 4:02 – 5:04
Trick #4: Walk with purpose—pace and stride affect status signals
Shadé explains that walking patterns communicate emotion and shape how others judge you. She cites research suggesting faster walking is associated with higher status and recommends subtle stride adjustments for a more purposeful presence.
- •Your walk is a visible confidence cue (biological motion patterns)
- •Study finding: faster walking often correlates with perceived higher status
- •Footwear/outfit can influence ability to move with pace and intent
- •Slightly longer steps can signal purpose (without exaggeration)
- 5:04 – 6:05
Trick #5: Use strong eye contact—including on video calls
Eye contact is presented as a high-impact indicator of confidence that builds connection and trust. She highlights its benefits in in-person meetings and offers a practical adaptation for virtual settings: look into the camera.
- •Eye contact is described as a top indicator of confidence
- •It signals sincerity, self-esteem, and assertiveness
- •It can increase likeability, trustworthiness, and memorability
- •Virtual tip: look into the camera to simulate direct eye contact
- 6:05 – 6:30
Wrap-up: five cues that increase perceived competence
Shadé briefly recaps the five research-based behaviors and reinforces their career impact through increased perceived competence. She closes the episode with a sign-off and invitation to return next time.
- •Five cues: posture, smiling, speech pace, confident walking, eye contact
- •These signals can raise perceived confidence and competence
- •Small daily adjustments can meaningfully change how you’re perceived
- •Closing and sign-off
