5 Ways to Look More Confident – When You're Struggling To | Shade Zahrai

1. 0:00 – 0:30

   Confidence vs. looking confident: why perception drives opportunity

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai0:00

      How confident would you say you are? Okay, now here's a second question. How confident would you say you look? Confidence is an incredibly important skill because research tells us that at work, people who come across as more confident are also perceived to be more competent. They're more likely to be noticed and considered for promotion or leadership opportunities. But the thing with confidence is it's not just how you feel. Actually, a really large part of it is also how you look and how you appear to others, which

2. 0:30 – 1:30

   Confidence is learnable—and it boosts performance and advancement

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai0:30

      is why I asked you that second question. In this episode, I'm going to share with you five research-backed and effortless tricks to help you look more confident in how you present yourself, which will make you appear more confident to others, and then ultimately make you feel more confident and powerful at work. Hi, I'm Shade Zahrai, and I help professionals to hack their careers, overcome their limiting beliefs, and confidently create the extraordinary life they deserve. You see, some people say that confidence is something that you're either born with or you don't have at all, but that's just not true. Confidence is a skill which can be learned, and one part of the equation is absolutely how confident you actually feel. Studies show that confidence increases productivity and encourages risk-taking essential to career advancement. Confident people are also more likely to secure a promotion than those who are actually doing the work and may have achieved more but aren't perceived as being as confident. And here's where that second part of the equation comes in. It's not just about how confident you feel.

3. 1:30 – 2:01

   Why appearing confident can matter more than feeling confident

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai1:30

      Of course, feeling confident is absolutely important, but it's also about how confident you appear. In fact, appearing confident is probably even more important than feeling confident, because you could feel all the confidence in the world, but if you're naturally softly spoken and reserved, it's unfortunately not going to project the confidence that's needed to get you noticed. So let's dive into the five research-backed and effortless tricks to exude self-confidence that you can use every day. Posture. When you're feeling

4. 2:01 – 3:01

   Trick #1: Tall, open posture to signal power

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai2:01

      insecure, your body naturally takes on a position of low power. You feel like shrinking, and your body does too. So the first tip, which is always a given but always worth repeating, is to make sure that you have a tall and powerful posture. Here's how you can get started. First, stand up as tall as you can. My ballet teacher as a child used to say to imagine that there is a string attached to the center of your head and someone is pulling it upwards. Second, pull your shoulder blades down and back as far as possible. Now, this might initially feel a little bit strange if you're spending most of your days hunched behind a computer or on your phone, but you will get used to it. And third, pick up your chin and look straight ahead. Making a conscious effort to keep your gaze in front of you instantly projects self-assuredness. A 2010 study by researchers from Harvard and Columbia universities found that closed body language like slouching and hanging your head actually lowers your testosterone, raises your cortisol, the stress hormone, and makes you feel less powerful. Open body

5. 3:01 – 3:31

   Trick #2: Smile to elevate mood and sound more confident

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai3:01

      language, like what I just took you through, does the opposite and makes you exude confidence, authority, and poise. It's actually really good for your body, too. Smile more. Studies have shown that smiling can make you happier and immediately uplift your mood. Why? Well, because each time you smile, your brain throws a little feel-good party. Smiling actually activates the muscles in your face that tell your brain to release endorphins, our happy hormones. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at George Washington University, explains the benefits

6. 3:31 – 4:02

   Trick #3: Slow down your speech to project composure

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai3:31

      of smiling on both whoever is speaking and those listening. She says, "Smiling not only makes your voice more pleasant to listen to, it also conveys confidence. You will appear friendly, approachable, and composed." Speak slowly and clearly. I've noticed that when people feel nervous or when they're under some sort of pressure, like giving an important presentation at work, they speed up how quickly they speak. You might have even noticed this in yourself. When you speak fast, this reflects nerves, feelings of insecurity, and sometimes a lack of self-control.

7. 4:02 – 5:04

   Trick #4: Walk with purpose—pace and stride affect status signals

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai4:02

      So speaking in a controlled, relaxed, and composed way and strategically using pauses when appropriate makes sure that people see you as confident and can actually keep up with what you're saying. Walk with confidence. Did you know that your walk can actually project confidence? Studies looking at biological motion patterns, which basically look at how people walk, have found distinct differences in people's movement based on their emotions, and this shapes how they're viewed by others. A 1995 study from the Journal of Ethology and Sociobiology found that, on average, walking faster leads to a perception of higher status. So if you're a slow walker or your choice of footwear or outfit doesn't allow for you to walk with purpose and pace, maybe it's worth trying something different to see if it gives you more freedom with how you move. Another point to be aware of here is that women often tend to take smaller steps than men, partly because we're often physically smaller, but it's also just something that we tend to do. Striding with slightly longer steps shows that you're purposeful and you know where you're going, which

8. 5:04 – 6:05

   Trick #5: Use strong eye contact—including on video calls

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai5:04

      does project confidence. Now, this doesn't mean taking such large strides that you look ridiculous, but just amending your walk subtly can have a really large impact on how you're perceived. Eye contact. This one is really simple but really effective, so I've included it as one of the tricks as a reminder. According to Lillian Glass, a body language expert and author of The Body Language Advantage, strong eye contact is the single greatest indicator of confidence. It establishes a connection, it shows sincerity, it projects self-esteem, assertiveness, and confidence. And combined with some of the tricks I've already covered, appropriate eye contact can also make you appear more likable, more attractive, more attentive, trustworthy, and memorable. So when you're at work in meetings, when you're interacting with coworkers, or having a conversation with your manager, make sure that you're using eye contact effectively. It has a huge amount of power. And if you're using a virtual setting like a video conferencing platform, this just means looking directly into the camera when you're speaking.

9. 6:05 – 6:29

   Wrap-up: five cues that increase perceived competence

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai6:05

      For those who are watching you and listening to you, it will appear like you're making direct eye contact. So there you go. Five research-based tricks to make you appear more confident that will ultimately also increase how competent you're seen to be. Thanks for tuning in. I'm Shade Zahrai, and I'll see you next time. [outro music]

Episode duration: 6:30