How Do You Know if You Made the Right Decision? | 3 Filter-Questions

1. 0:00 – 0:30

   Decision doubt and mental overdrive: why you second-guess big choices

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai0:00

      So let's say you've decided to change roles at work, to move houses, or to start or end a relationship, and then you start thinking, "What if I've made the wrong decision?" And then your mind is on overdrive thinking about everything wrong with the decision that you've just made. How do you know if you've made the right decision? If this is something that you can relate to, give this video a like and leave me a comment. In this video, I'm going to share with you three questions to ask yourself every time you're faced with uncertainty about that important

2. 0:30 – 1:01

   The 3-question “filter” framework for clarity under uncertainty

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai0:30

      decision, whatever the decision is to you. They'll help you to cut through that mind clutter to determine whether you've made the right choice, or to guide you to get clarity around what the right path is. You wanna think of these questions as a three-screen filter that you can pass your decisions and your big choices through to gain clarity on whether it's the right move. Hi, I'm Shadé Zarri, and I help professionals to hack their careers, overcome their limiting beliefs, and confidently create the extraordinary life they deserve. Now,

3. 1:01 – 2:02

   Why your brain fixates on risk: over-analysis, threat bias, and confirmation effects

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai1:01

      what tends to happen when you're faced with making important decisions is that your brain can get into a pattern of over-analysis. And since your brain is also designed to protect you from harm, it starts to alert you about all of the possible things that could go wrong, all of the what-ifs. Your brain, if left unchecked, has a natural tendency to dwell on the risks and the threats. It's designed to magnify what you focus on, almost like that weird thing that happens when you're fixated on a new style of clothing or a new car model, and then you start to notice it everywhere. So what happens is when you start to focus on all the things that could go wrong, you actually prime your radar to notice things that confirm all of these beliefs that things will go wrong. And so these confirmations can actually end up convincing you to not even take that leap, to not make the move, to not make the change because of the possibility that it might not work. But here's the harsh reality. You're never going to have a guaranteed outcome. You'll

4. 2:02 – 2:32

   Accepting uncertainty: you can’t guarantee outcomes, so aim for 70–80% confidence

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai2:02

      never know for sure if you'll reach success by taking one direction or another, and there are always going to be these what-ifs, especially if you look for them. So sometimes it's about making a decision that's not 100% right, because you can't know. Sometimes it's about being satisfied with 70 or 80% and not holding yourself to an impossibly high standard. What I recommend to the professionals we work with when they're deciding whether or not to make a decision, uh, whether or not to pursue a particular path, is to

5. 2:32 – 3:02

   Filter Question 1 — Will this path help me grow?

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai2:32

      ask themselves these three questions. These questions which I'm about to share with you become that filter that you use to pass all of your decisions and your big choices through to help you gain clarity about whether it is the right thing for you. So first up, the first question: Will this path help me grow? You always wanna be making decisions and following paths that help you grow as an individual. This may mean through challenge, through tests, through obstacles. It might mean that you have to be pushed outside your comfort zone

6. 3:02 – 4:33

   Filter Question 2 — Is this decision driven by ego, status, or approval?

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai3:02

      and take more of a risk. But you know that in doing so, even if you don't get the exact intended outcome of success that you're looking for, you will be challenged as an individual, which will force you to grow and strengthen your character. So this is that very first question that you need to ask yourself. Will I challenge myself and accept that leadership position? Will I be able to gain experience in that new industry? Will this help me grow? Next up, the second question you need to ask yourself is this: Is my decision based on ego? Are you doing it because you're chasing a title, a position, or status, or something else that makes you feel good because it makes you feel superior to others? It makes you feel important, significant, validated? Here's the thing. We know from research that chasing titles and status won't make you happy, and it's actually a red flag that could indicate that you're trying to get some sense of fulfillment from something that won't bring it in the long run. It's called the hedonic treadmill, where we think that external things will bring us happiness, but when we actually achieve it, we eventually just bounce back to how we felt before. There's no real lasting change to our happiness. The other red flag here is approval. Are you making a decision to do or to not do something just because it's what others think you should or shouldn't do? We all have an innate, deep-seated emotional need for approval and validation, and it can actually be one of the strongest and most powerful motivators for behavior. This approval brings a huge amount of psychological

7. 4:33 – 5:04

   Filter Question 3 — Does it excite and energize you (despite anxiety)?

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai4:33

      safety and inner peace, but it's not the right reason to be basing decisions. You need to be invested in it for the right reasons. "Because they want me to," doesn't qualify. And the third question you want to ask yourself is: Does this thing I'm deciding to do, this new job, this new country, this new path, does it excite me? Does the thought of it energize me? Even if you're a little anxious about what could be and the uncertainty, there has to be some spark, something deeply exciting about whatever

8. 5:04 – 6:05

   Two practical/ethical checks: harm minimization and feasibility (resources + timing)

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai5:04

      it is you're doing. This is how you know that it's actually aligned with what you want deep down. Now, there are also two other considerations that you want to keep in mind. First, does my decision intentionally hurt anyone? If it does, are there things you can do to minimize the hurt? This will be personal to each individual, so you need to figure out what is right for you and what's right for the people around you. And the second question: Do I have the means to make it happen? This one's probably more specific to people looking to, for example, start their own business. Let's say you have a full-time job, a mortgage, and a car loan, but your passion is to run a business, so you might quit your full-time job, but then you have no savings to live off or use as capital, and you're probably being a little bit negligent if you do that because you won't be able to pay your bills next week. Planning is important, and if now isn't the right time, then that's totally okay. At least you have the intention. It took me over five years of running a business concurrently with working full-time before I was in a position to go all in, and even then, we made sure that we had savings as a contingency

9. 6:05 – 7:05

   Recap and reassurance: trust your gut, most decisions are reversible, growth is permanent

   1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai6:05

      and to use as capital to inject into the business. You just need a little wisdom and foresight. So a quick recap of the three-part filter questions to ask yourself. One, will this path help me to grow? If yes, then is my decision based on ego, title, or status? If no, ask, does it excite me? If you get to this question and you say, "Heck yes, it excites me," then you have to follow your gut instinct. Now, things may go wrong, but you have to be okay with that. The best part about 99.9% of life decisions are that they are reversible, excluding having children or skydiving without a parachute, so think wisely about those. But with everything else, while it may take time, it can be reversed. You can come back from a decision that doesn't go to plan, but you will know that in taking that path, you learned something new. You expanded your mindset. You actually challenged yourself and tried something different, and you will always take that growth with you. So there you go. I hope you found this useful and that you can actually apply the

10. 7:05 – 7:54

    Applying the filter to your next big decision + closing call to action

    1. SZDr. Shadé Zahrai7:05

       three-question filter to your next big decision, whether it's related to your career or even just a major life decision that you're needing to make. Of course, it's not going to apply to 100% of your decisions, but the principles are there to really just help guide you whenever you come to a decision in your life. In the comments, let me know your favorite strategy to determine if you've chosen the right path when it comes to you making important and really big life decisions. And of course, please like this video and subscribe. Make sure you hit the bell icon too so you find out when the next video is released. It really supports my channel, and it means a lot. I'm Shadé Zarri. I will see you next time. [outro music]

Episode duration: 7:54