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Simon SinekSimon Sinek

The Quiet Power of the Empathetic Leader with Navy SEAL turned rowing coach Gordon Schmidt

When morale problems affect a team, some leaders decide to make a big, rousing speech. But quite often, it’s the quiet leader who leads with empathy that sees a better emotional solution. Gordon Schmidt is a retired Navy SEAL with enough combat experience to understand that empathy is an operational advantage, not a weakness. After 20 years of military service, he started his second act as a high school rowing coach. According to Gordo, be it coaching rowers or leading soldiers, the emotional lessons he’s learned about leadership apply just the same. In this conversation, Gordo shares with me how to move on into a new chapter in life and why emotional intelligence in high-stress situations is often a leader’s only way out. This…is A Bit of Optimism. For more on Gordon and his work, check out: https://www.sdrcjrs.com/content.aspx?page_id=22&club_id=71827&module_id=151617 --------------------------- This episode is brought to you by True Classic! I really love their T-shirts, so we called them up and asked if they wanted to work together. And they said yes! Check out their clothes at: http://trueclassictees.com/ --------------------------- ⏰ Timestamps 0:00 From Navy SEAL to rowing coach 6:57 SEAL Teams and crew teams 9:58 The pain of leaving the SEALs 17:08 Coach Gordon tells a rowing story 24:00 The culture of SEAL Teams 29:07 Different types of grit 30:48 Why Simon hates writing books 33:08 Ad with Authenticity: True Classic 34:58 Why people quit BUD/S (SEAL training) 39:52 When leaders quit, what happens to a team? + + + Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together. Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do. Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game. + + + Website: http://simonsinek.com/ Live Online Classes: https://simonsinek.com/classes/ Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/ Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek Simon’s books: The Infinite Game: https://simonsinek.com/books/the-infinite-game/ Start With Why: https://simonsinek.com/books/start-with-why/ Find Your Why: https://simonsinek.com/books/find-your-why/ Leaders Eat Last: https://simonsinek.com/books/leaders-eat-last/ Together is Better: https://simonsinek.com/books/together-is-better/ + + + #SimonSinek

Simon SinekhostGordon Schmidtguest
Jun 30, 20251h 9mWatch on YouTube ↗

At a glance

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Empathy, purpose, and team culture shape quiet leadership under pressure

  1. Schmidt describes leaving the SEAL Teams as an intense loss of brotherhood and identity, and explains how accepting grief—rather than numbing it—helped him move forward.
  2. Rowing and coaching teens became a new source of purpose, offering a team-based culture that mirrors SEAL principles of coordination, shared pain, and collective performance.
  3. A varsity boat selection story illustrates how leaders build culture by making standards clear, keeping roles non-permanent, and rewarding effort and attitude—not entitlement.
  4. The conversation reframes “grit” as paying a chosen price of admission for something you truly want, explaining why people quit BUD/S when motivations are status-based or unclear.
  5. Schmidt shares a combat lesson: in high-stakes moments, calm, respectful communication and empathy—not theatrics—keeps teams cohesive and effective after traumatic events.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Quiet leadership often outperforms dramatic leadership.

Schmidt argues inspiration frequently comes from sensing what the team feels and needs, not from speeches or performative toughness—especially when morale is fragile.

Identity loss after service is real even when you try to separate job and self.

He avoided saying “I am a SEAL,” yet still felt the “gate closing behind you” as a visceral, final separation from brotherhood and meaning.

Grit is not a personality trait; it’s a chosen “price of admission.”

Both BUD/S and book-writing are framed as enduring disliked tasks because the purpose is compelling enough to pay the cost.

Culture determines performance when talent is evenly matched.

In rowing, bitterness from being moved off the top boat would harm the whole crew; composure and positivity are essential for comeback wins and resilient racing.

Make team roles competitive but never permanent.

By emphasizing that seats can change and effort is always evaluated, Schmidt creates a system where athletes respond to setbacks with action rather than resentment.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

“Wait until you get out. The loudest sound in the world is the gate shutting behind you.”

— Gordon Schmidt (relaying a friend’s saying)

“Get busy living or get busy dying.”

— Gordon Schmidt (quoting Shawshank Redemption)

“It’s strong teams that are successful, not strong individuals.”

— Gordon Schmidt

“That’s just what someone else decided was the price of admission.”

— Gordon Schmidt

“You guys know why we’re doing this.”

— Gordon Schmidt

Transition out of elite military communitiesLoss, grief, and accepting sadnessRowing/crew as a team-performance modelTeam culture versus individual excellencePrice of admission and motivation (grit)Leadership impact of quitting and example-settingEmpathy and tone in high-stress operations

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