Simon Sinek

The Quiet Power of the Empathetic Leader with Navy SEAL turned rowing coach Gordon Schmidt

When morale problems affect a team, some leaders decide to make a big, rousing speech. But quite often, it’s the quiet leader who leads with empathy that sees a better emotional solution. Gordon Schmidt is a retired Navy SEAL with enough combat experience to understand that empathy is an operational advantage, not a weakness. After 20 years of military service, he started his second act as a high school rowing coach. According to Gordo, be it coaching rowers or leading soldiers, the emotional lessons he’s learned about leadership apply just the same. In this conversation, Gordo shares with me how to move on into a new chapter in life and why emotional intelligence in high-stress situations is often a leader’s only way out. This…is A Bit of Optimism. For more on Gordon and his work, check out: https://www.sdrcjrs.com/content.aspx?page_id=22&club_id=71827&module_id=151617 --------------------------- This episode is brought to you by True Classic! I really love their T-shirts, so we called them up and asked if they wanted to work together. And they said yes! Check out their clothes at: http://trueclassictees.com/ --------------------------- ⏰ Timestamps 0:00 From Navy SEAL to rowing coach 6:57 SEAL Teams and crew teams 9:58 The pain of leaving the SEALs 17:08 Coach Gordon tells a rowing story 24:00 The culture of SEAL Teams 29:07 Different types of grit 30:48 Why Simon hates writing books 33:08 Ad with Authenticity: True Classic 34:58 Why people quit BUD/S (SEAL training) 39:52 When leaders quit, what happens to a team? + + + Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together. Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do. Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game. + + + Website: http://simonsinek.com/ Live Online Classes: https://simonsinek.com/classes/ Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/ Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek Simon’s books: The Infinite Game: https://simonsinek.com/books/the-infinite-game/ Start With Why: https://simonsinek.com/books/start-with-why/ Find Your Why: https://simonsinek.com/books/find-your-why/ Leaders Eat Last: https://simonsinek.com/books/leaders-eat-last/ Together is Better: https://simonsinek.com/books/together-is-better/ + + + #SimonSinek

SSSimon SinekhostGSGordon Schmidtguest

Jul 1, 2025·1h 9m·Watch on YouTube ↗

📖 CHAPTERS

1. 1

   Gordon’s post-SEAL transition: rediscovering rowing and finding a new mission

   Gordon recounts leaving a 20-year SEAL career and stumbling into rowing again after a difficult, “wallowing” period. A former Navy teammate brings him to a masters practice, which reignites his love for the sport and opens an unexpected coaching opportunity.

2. 2

   Becoming a high school head coach with no coaching résumé

   Gordon explains how he landed the head coach role at San Diego Rowing Club’s high school men’s program despite having zero formal coaching experience. The hiring decision hinged less on credentials and more on leadership maturity and understanding group dynamics.

3. 3

   What coaching teens revealed: patience, presence, and modern authority

   Gordon describes surprising lessons about himself—especially patience and self-awareness—in the day-to-day realities of coaching teenagers. He also navigates informal norms (e.g., being called “Gordon” vs. “Coach”) and what respect looks like outside military structure.

4. 4

   Why crew and SEAL teams rhyme: interdependence, coordination, and culture

   They unpack the deep similarities between crew and SEAL teams: synchronized execution, ego management, and success through collective performance. Gordon distinguishes “rowing” (can be solo) from “crew” (requires a team), echoing SEAL-team fundamentals.

5. 5

   The hidden grief of leaving the Teams: brotherhood, finality, and acceptance

   Gordon shares the emotional weight of separation from the SEAL community and the profound silence that follows. He explains how the loss was less about job title and more about belonging, and how acceptance—not numbing—became a turning point.

6. 6

   A rowing selection story: setbacks, identity, and earning your way back

   Gordon tells a detailed coaching story about selecting the top varsity boat under time pressure and later swapping out a senior for a sophomore. The removed athlete cycles through anger and isolation, then responds with relentless effort—ultimately winning his seat back.

7. 7

   Would he coach SEALs again? Mentorship as a throughline

   Simon presses Gordon on whether he’d return to coach SEALs if asked, forcing a values tradeoff between the SEAL community and his current athletes. Gordon admits it would be agonizing because mentoring has always been central to his leadership, both in and out of uniform.

8. 8

   Different kinds of grit: the ‘price of admission’ framework (including Simon’s book-writing)

   A playful but serious debate reframes grit as context-dependent: Gordon claims Simon’s grit is writing books; Simon argues grit comes from purpose, not enjoyment. They land on the idea that every meaningful pursuit has a “price of admission,” and success depends on wanting what’s on the other side.

9. 9

   (Sponsor segment) ‘Ad with authenticity’: True Classic, experimentation, and avoiding the ‘idea killer’

   Simon inserts a branded conversation with True Classic CEO Ryan focused on entrepreneurial culture. The segment emphasizes speed, creativity, iteration, and leadership humility—testing ideas in the market rather than killing them in the boardroom.

10. 10

    Why candidates quit BUD/S: status illusions vs. honest motivation

    Gordon argues many quit not because of cold water or pain, but because they aren’t honest about what they truly want. Some are attracted by perceived status without understanding the unglamorous reality of the job—so the cost stops feeling worth it.

11. 11

    When a leader quits, others follow: the contagion (or relief) effect

    They analyze the pattern Simon observed in BUD/S: when an officer (or visible leader) quits, several often quit soon after. Gordon explains it’s about perceived capability and morale; notably, if no one quits after a leader leaves, it may mean the leader was hurting the team.

12. 12

    Leadership beyond style: respect, authenticity, and knowing when to switch modes

    The conversation shifts from personality preferences to universal leadership fundamentals. They differentiate “style” from respect and predictability, and discuss situational leadership—collaborative by default, command-and-control only when the context demands it and trust is established.

13. 13

    A combat lesson in quiet empathy: calm tone, shared reality, and moving the team forward

    Gordon shares a mission thread from Afghanistan: an EOD officer (Brad Snyder) is catastrophically injured by an IED, forcing Gordon to lead through shock and grief. He describes empathy not as sentimentality, but as reading what the team needed—calm, clarity, and a purposeful return to action without theatrics.