What Mentally Strong People Do on Their Worst Days | Psychotherapist Amy Morin

Morin argues “mental health” is often treated like a pass/fail state, whereas “mental fitness” better captures an ongoing practice with daily variability (sleep, food, stress, relationships). Framing it as fitness makes it easier to take action, track habits, and expect setbacks without shame.

They distinguish clinical disorders (e.g., major depression) from normal emotions (sadness, stress, pre-presentation anxiety). Social media labels can cause people to pathologize everyday feelings or self-diagnose based on common experiences.

Morin describes how avoidance (staying in bed as a “mental health day,” ignoring bills, ghosting) can relieve discomfort immediately but worsens life over time by keeping problems intact and shrinking engagement with life. Her depression example includes a practical countermeasure: a written “reasons to go to work” list for mornings when motivation collapses.

A core decision rule: if the situation is controllable, solve the problem (e.g., pay the bills) rather than trying to soothe the anxiety; if it’s uncontrollable (e.g., someone else’s behavior), focus on managing your feelings and your own choices. Confusing these leads to either avoidance or futile attempts to control others.

They describe victimhood as emotionally rewarding because it provides validation, reduces self-scrutiny, and justifies staying stuck; it differs from truly being a victim of harm. Growth begins when someone can grieve/vent initially but then transitions into accountability and change.