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What Now? With Trevor Noah

If I Ruled The World: Careful What You Think | What Now? with Trevor Noah Podcast

The world’s a bit of a mess right now – maybe Myself, Christiana, and Josh can come up with some fixes. It’s another If I Ruled the World episode. This week’s suggestions are… intimate?

ChristianahostTrevor NoahhostJoshhost

Apr 24, 20251h 4mWatch on YouTube

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CHAPTERS

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Chapter summaries

Rules of the game and Josh's grievance
Trevor welcomes everyone to If I Ruled The World and explains his dream of being dictator of a very small nation. Josh explains why he felt his plans fell apart last time, and Trevor lays out the rules: change the world, but win the other two votes.
- •Trevor's dream is to be dictator of a small nation whose people willingly agree to it
- •Josh says he comes in expecting his ideas to work and gets vindictive when holes appear
- •Each player must win votes from the other two
- •Listeners also submit ideas that the three vote on
Listener suggestions: art for leaders, no career politicians, fitting-room curtains
The three vote on listener ideas, starting with Rebecca's proposal that leaders make art before critical decisions. Fabian's ban on political careers gets three yeses, and Sena's fitting-room curtain fix gets three yeses too.
- •Rebecca's art-before-decisions idea splits the vote, with Trevor and Christiana worried about fragile male egos
- •Fabian's no-career-politicians idea wins three yeses because politicians become cynical
- •Sena's fitting-room curtain suggestion gets unanimous yeses, since voting no would seem like liking peeking
Listener suggestions: barbecues, sidewalk lanes and car message signs
The group debates government-funded neighborhood barbecues, fast and slow sidewalk lanes, and LED message signs on cars. The barbecues get mixed votes, while the sidewalk lanes and car signs are rejected.
- •Government-funded barbecues get two yeses for building community, while Trevor votes no because people eat too much meat
- •Sidewalk lanes are rejected over who defines fast and slow, and Christiana calls it ableist
- •Car message signs are rejected over catcalling and road-rage worries
Christiana's pitch: mandatory weekly reality TV
After rock, paper, scissors decides the order, Christiana proposes that everyone over 18 watch a randomly assigned reality show for an hour each week. She argues it shows real life across classes and politics better than siloed news or filtered documentaries.
- •Shows would be randomly assigned so people can't pick ones that teach them nothing
- •Reality TV shows people from different races, classes and politics, breaking media silos
- •Documentaries are filtered, while shameless reality stars are often more honest
- •Christiana ties Trump to reality TV, and Trevor says The Apprentice shaped his persona
Reality TV vote: shared experience and real moments
Trevor switches to yes because shared viewing gives people something to connect over. Josh votes yes too, saying reality TV sparks conversations and shares a Love & Hip Hop moment he found real. Christiana earns her double yes.
- •Trevor wants more collective viewing experiences
- •Josh says shows like Love Is Blind let couples discuss relationships without it feeling personal
- •Josh recalls a drunk argument on Love & Hip Hop: Hollywood where one woman asks "Did you just throw up?"
- •Christiana adds 90 Day Fiance as a look into immigration
Josh's pitch: make willful stupidity hurt
Josh proposes that people who knowingly spread falsehoods feel physical pain, using Alex Jones as his example. He clarifies that he means willful ignorance and malicious misinformation, not people who simply lack knowledge, and describes his view as karmic.
- •The pain would work like putting a fork in a socket, so lying costs something
- •Josh points to Alex Jones and the Sandy Hook case, where his texts showed he knew his claims were false
- •Christiana says he may be conflating willful ignorance with malice and opportunism
- •Josh sees it as speeding up consequences people already face, with no one controlling the lever, and the pain starting when the brain stops developing
Voting on the pain rule
Trevor first votes no, worried the pain could stop people from exploring ideas that only seem stupid. Josh clarifies he means only knowing, malicious misinformation, and Trevor switches to yes. Christiana votes no, arguing some people have high pain thresholds or even seek pain.
- •Trevor worries pain could discourage good ideas that seem wrong at the time
- •Josh limits the rule to malicious misinformation, not imagination or noble lies
- •Trevor changes his vote to yes
- •Christiana says chronic pain, tattoos and sociopathy mean some people would seek or enjoy the pain, creating supervillains
- •Josh ends with one vote and plans to rework the idea
Trevor's pitch: thoughts spoken aloud during intimacy
After the Amazon sponsor segment, Trevor proposes that during sex or intimacy every thought comes out audibly. He argues that nobody is taught about sex and that consent has been handled badly, and Christiana pushes back with the idea of a school of sex.
- •The thoughts would be projected loudly, and people would not remember a world before it
- •Trevor says sex education is lacking, and consent was never explored in nuance after Me Too
- •He says couples lose intimacy because they don't share what's in their minds
- •Christiana asks why not teach sex education first
- •Christiana cites a professor's study on what men think during sex and says men may not be ready to hear what women think
Fart analogy and Josh's clarifying questions
The debate moves to whether people would stop having sex, and Trevor argues farts show comfort and bring people closer. Josh asks how the mechanic works, learning that thoughts can follow spoken words, and Trevor defends the idea of friction leading to something beautiful.
- •Christiana thinks people just won't have sex, while Trevor says people have sex everywhere
- •Trevor says farts around close people show comfort, and Christiana counters that she hasn't consented to her thoughts coming out
- •Josh learns you can't speak and think different things at the same time, but a thought can follow a spoken sentence
- •Trevor imagines a spoken "best sex ever" followed by a contradicting thought
- •Christiana fears violence between couples
Objections: jokes, S&M, casual sex and mind control
Josh and Christiana raise further problems: misread jokes, fantasy and roleplay, casual encounters, and men training themselves to control their thoughts. Trevor responds that people adapt, as they did with Airbnb and Uber.
- •Josh says thoughts heard only during intimacy could be taken too seriously, like jokes read as meant
- •Rough roleplay could be disrupted by a thought like "I'ma kill you"
- •Christiana asks how it would work for casual sex with strangers
- •Josh predicts men would learn to control their thoughts, such as reciting baseball stats
- •Trevor compares it to his early doubts about Airbnb and Uber
Trevor's three upsides and the world-rule defense
Christiana asks for the upside, and Trevor lists benefits like more intimacy and voicing discomfort. Josh and Christiana raise further concerns, including shortcutting getting to know someone, bad sex increasing, and sex workers. Trevor argues the people of his world would never know any other way.
- •Trevor says hidden feelings rob people of intimacy, such as partners not knowing the sex was bad
- •The thoughts could let people voice discomfort
- •Christiana worries people will skip learning about each other and says sex therapy could help instead
- •Trevor's "Eh" orgasm analogy says people in his world would see it as normal
- •Christiana says it would make sex work harder
Votes on the thought rule and opt-in debate
Josh votes yes, thinking it would expose people who shouldn't be having sex. Christiana is a no unless there is an opt-in, opt-out option, but Trevor prefers it with no opt-out. Josh then switches to no when opt-out is raised, and the idea ends with only Trevor and Josh voting for it.
- •Josh votes yes because it would take down terrible people
- •Christiana says she would vote yes with opt-in/opt-out, and Josh then flips to no because bad actors would opt out
- •Trevor likes the mischief of opt-in but prefers universal and unavoidable
- •Christiana votes no and Josh keeps his yes, so Trevor gets one vote
- •Christiana is named champion again

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