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What Now? With Trevor NoahIf I Ruled the World: The One Where Everyone Tries Crack | What Now? with Trevor Noah Podcast
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Chapter summaries
Crack in Hospice and Plane Masks
Trevor Noah opens by joking that everyone should try crack before they die. The group riffs on whether crack or heroin is the better end-of-life drug, and Trevor imagines a crack pipe dropping from the airplane ceiling with the oxygen masks.
- •Trevor's joke that everyone should try crack before dying
- •Debate over crack versus heroin as a hospice drug
- •A speaker notes hospices already give morphine or similar drugs
- •Trevor's idea of a crack pipe in the airplane oxygen mask
Setting Up If I Ruled the World and Josh's Psychedelic Mandate
Trevor explains the format of the game: each person pitches a rule, the others vote, and two votes passes it. Josh pitches that every person must have at least one psychedelic experience between roughly age 22 and 55, with a psych evaluation and a guide.
- •Format: each pitches an idea and a majority of votes passes it
- •Josh's rule: one psychedelic experience required after about age 22
- •The 55 deadline so there is time to change course in life
- •Trevor's concerns about bad trips and gimmicky ayahuasca retreats
- •Ayahuasca's traditional use with an elder guide versus modern tourism
The Buddha Tangent and Josh's Lack of Experience
The conversation detours into whether the Buddha was a deadbeat for leaving his family. It then turns to the fact that Josh has never tried psychedelics, alcohol, weed, or cigarettes, and the others tease him and joke about giving him a substance per episode.
- •Joking that the Buddha left his wife and children
- •Trevor calls himself an open-minded encourager, not a shroom pusher
- •Josh has never drunk, smoked weed, or done psychedelics
- •Idea of a podcast series where Josh tries one substance per episode
- •Trevor says the first helicopter wasn't invented by someone who flew in one
Voting on the Psychedelic Rule
Trevor predicts pharmaceutical companies will synthesize and sell psychedelics. Christiana shares her mom group chat's plan to do mushrooms with a guide but says Josh should try them before proposing a law. Christiana votes no, citing bodily autonomy, while Trevor votes yes.
- •Trevor predicts a synthesized, pill-form psychedelic sold by pharma
- •Christiana's group chat considers a guided mushroom trip
- •Christiana votes no because she doesn't want to compel anyone to do things with their bodies
- •Trevor votes yes, saying it could set people free
- •Josh's rule fails
Christiana's Assigned Partner Proposal
Christiana proposes that everyone get an assigned partner of their choice, whether a spouse or a platonic best friend, to solve loneliness. The group questions how matching would work, what counts as a good match, and how to handle people who isolate themselves.
- •Everyone is contractually paired with a husband, wife, or best friend
- •Matching would use algorithms, human wisdom, and maybe prayer
- •Josh cites a survey saying divorce rates in arranged and love marriages were close
- •Partners would be matched by shared values
- •Aimed at people who live and die alone
Trevor's Objections and the Voting on Assigned Partners
Trevor says the idea treats a symptom rather than the root cause of isolation, and that failure of a pre-chosen match could feel worse. Christiana's statement that the partner is sacred sounds to Trevor like a twin flames scam. Josh votes yes with an amendment of partners on different continents, which Trevor mocks, and Trevor makes up a movie called Unassigned.
- •Loneliness is relative, so an assigned partner becomes the baseline
- •Trevor argues it's treating the symptom, citing African villages versus cities
- •Christiana says the assigned partner is sacred, with no replacement after death
- •Josh votes yes and amends it to partners in different parts of the world
- •Trevor jokes about a movie called Unassigned and votes no
Trevor's Pitch: Abolish Politicians for Direct Democracy
Trevor pitches eliminating all politicians because representatives were only needed before telephones and the internet. Everyone would vote on policies through a secure device, with bureaucrats executing the results. Christiana and Josh question how this differs from referendums and how bureaucrats would be chosen.
- •Representatives existed because people couldn't travel to tell central bodies their needs
- •Citizens vote directly on issues via a secure app on their own schedule
- •Qualified bureaucrats just execute what people vote for
- •Josh compares it to referendums and Brexit
- •Trevor responds that votes go straight into law
AI Explainers, Hierarchy, and Budget Decisions
Trevor explains that an on-device AI would simply clarify wording of measures. Christiana worries humans are hierarchical and will turn to religious leaders or influencers. Trevor argues budgets should be set by numbers experts instead of politicians who take advice from lobbyists, citing the military spending on a warehouse in Afghanistan.
- •A locked-down AI would only rephrase measures in plain language
- •Josh calls it digital direct democracy like the Greeks
- •Christiana fears replacement leaders such as religious figures or TikTokers
- •Trevor says budget splits should be done by people good at numbers
- •Example of the military building a pointless warehouse to spend excess money
Voting Against Interests, Fred Hampton, and Unpopular Reforms
Christiana argues people often vote against their own interests and that leaders sometimes must push through unpopular ideas like COVID mandates or gay marriage. Trevor counters with Fred Hampton's Rainbow Coalition, arguing people don't vote against their interests when given clear issues and politicians' storytelling is what divides them.
- •Christiana says leaders push through unpopular but beneficial policy
- •Trevor says people vote against their interests because they've been sold distorted stories
- •Fred Hampton united poor people across races around shared problems
- •Trevor cites 75-80% support for stricter gun regulations that still doesn't pass
- •Politicians' narratives inflame tensions
Biometrics, Easy Voting, and Minority Rights
The group argues over whether biometric voting is dystopian surveillance, and Trevor points to American Idol's high turnout to argue voting should be simple. Josh raises Australia's First Nations referendum and minority rights, and Trevor responds that majorities have historically voted to extend rights, from Black suffrage to women's votes.
- •Biometric device to prevent others voting on your behalf, which Christiana calls dystopian
- •Trevor says American Idol never has turnout problems because voting is simple
- •Josh cites the Australian First Nations vote as a risk for minorities
- •Trevor notes majorities have voted to extend rights, such as in South Africa and women's suffrage
- •Trevor says clear explanations would prevent confusion that sank the Australian vote
Votes, Burnout, and Gamifying Democracy
Josh votes yes, citing politicians' apathy, while Christiana votes no, fearing voter burnout would lead to a dictatorship. Trevor says people are tired of boring things, not engagement, and proposes gamifying voting like Candy Crush; the others call it dystopian, and Trevor jokes that he'd just do things himself.
- •Josh votes yes because of politicians who just want to be re-elected
- •Christiana votes no, saying people don't want to think about political choices all the time
- •Josh compares apathy to people who stop taking medicine once they feel better
- •Trevor proposes gamifying voting like Candy Crush
- •Trevor closes by joking that he'd pass laws without asking, and the proposal's votes leave it stalled
