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What Now? With Trevor NoahIf I Ruled the World: Tressie McMillan Cottom Throws Down | What Now? with Trevor Noah Podcast
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60 min read · 12,320 words- 0:00 – 0:04
Intro
- CHChristiana
[upbeat music]
- 0:04 – 0:31
Will Trevor Run for Office? Cold Open
- CHChristiana
I think he's gonna run for office in South Africa.
- TNTrevor Noah
When, when I was-
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Okay. Can I tell you-
- CHChristiana
That's my prediction
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
... I told him that the first time I met him
- CHChristiana
... Trevor's gonna be president.
- TNTrevor Noah
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- CHChristiana
Trevor, Trevor's gonna be the president of South Africa.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Trevor, you won't remember this, but I said, "So what, you're gonna go home and run for office?"
- TNTrevor Noah
No, no, no, no.
- CHChristiana
Yeah, yeah.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
And you went, "What?"
- TNTrevor Noah
No, no, no.
- CHChristiana
He's gonna be the, he's gonna be the president of South Africa.
- TNTrevor Noah
No, no, no, no, no.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
See-
- CHChristiana
Zelensky used to be a comedian
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
... I-
- TNTrevor Noah
Yes
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
... did not-
- TNTrevor Noah
And look at his life now
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
... holy. [laughs]
- CHChristiana
[laughs]
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Okay.
- TNTrevor Noah
Look at his life now.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Maybe not a good, maybe not a good example. [upbeat music]
- 0:31 – 4:39
The Rules of 'If I Ruled the World'
- TNTrevor Noah
This is What Now? With Trevor Noah. [upbeat music] Well, all right. You ready to play some If I Ruled the World?
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
I'm ready.
- TNTrevor Noah
All right. Let's do it. This is one of my favorite games to play with people, and there are few people in the world-
- CHChristiana
[laughs]
- TNTrevor Noah
... who are more my favorite than Tressie McMillan Cottom.
- CHChristiana
Tressie, Tressie, Tressie.
- TNTrevor Noah
I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. So what I love about playing the game If I Ruled the World is oftentimes we think about the world in a gradual way, and I think sometimes as people we get bogged down in what we perceive possibility to be.
- CHChristiana
Oh, yeah.
- TNTrevor Noah
Right?
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- TNTrevor Noah
And so I love playing the game for myself and for other people because I think it's good to remind ourselves that everything is possible if you don't think that it's impossible, and you cannot even get to it if you think it's not. Does that make sense?
- CHChristiana
Mm-hmm.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Yep.
- TNTrevor Noah
So y- y- it's impossible to fly, but someone goes like, "But maybe it isn't."
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Yeah.
- TNTrevor Noah
And then one day you're flying, right?
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Mm-hmm.
- CHChristiana
Yeah.
- TNTrevor Noah
We, so we don't know. And not everything is possible, but everything's impossible if you don't try to get there. So If I Ruled the World is a very simple game that we play. Uh, everyone gets a chance to say what they would do if they ruled the world. And when I mean ruled the world, don't get bogged down. Don't worry about bureaucracy.
- CHChristiana
[laughs]
- TNTrevor Noah
Don't worry about, like, people coming after you or not coming after you. Don't worry about voting. Everyone develops amnesia.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
They're gonna love you.
- CHChristiana
Yeah.
- TNTrevor Noah
No, they develop amnesia.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Okay.
- TNTrevor Noah
So they won't go, "But it used to be like this."
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Uh-huh.
- CHChristiana
Yeah.
- TNTrevor Noah
No, it is not like that.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Okay.
- 4:39 – 8:55
Christiana's Monthly Word Limit for Online Text
- TNTrevor Noah
All right.
- CHChristiana
All right. So If I Ruled the World, in my crypto fascist state, I would put a restriction on the amount a person is allowed to contribute to the public discourse in text.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Oh. [laughs]
- CHChristiana
So you have a limited amount of words-
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Shots fired
- CHChristiana
... per month you can contribute to the ... And it doesn't matter the platform.
- TNTrevor Noah
Every time I think I know how crazy Christiana is-
- CHChristiana
[laughs]
- TNTrevor Noah
... this woman surprises me.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Wow.
- CHChristiana
I thought this through, guys.
- TNTrevor Noah
Keep going. Okay.
- CHChristiana
You, we need to put ... So there's freedom of speech in the real world.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Mm-hmm.
- CHChristiana
But when it comes to freedom of text, there is restriction.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
[laughs] Freedom of text.
- CHChristiana
There is not freedom of text.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
This call-
- TNTrevor Noah
Okay. Okay
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
... this carve out freedom of text, that's, that's interesting.
- TNTrevor Noah
This is, this is interesting.
- CHChristiana
Restriction.
- TNTrevor Noah
So I, okay.
- CHChristiana
Remember the, the white man said, "The pen is mightier than the sword" for a reason.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Yes. Yes.
- TNTrevor Noah
Okay. Okay, fine. And that guy was stabbed by the sword afterwards.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
[laughs]
- TNTrevor Noah
But okay. Let's, okay. I have a question, but I mean, please.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Okay. How are you going to ... Because arguably everything now is text, right?
- CHChristiana
Yeah.
- 8:55 – 18:33
Paid Influence, Bots, and Why the Word Cap Fails
- TNTrevor Noah
Yeah, I'm, I'm gonna, this is a, a no for me, because I don't think you're solving the issue you're trying to solve. So understanding how a lot of the social discourse has been shaped in America and around the world I think is very important for people. We really saw this around Black Lives Matter.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Mm-hmm.
- TNTrevor Noah
Right? Most people still do not know that most of the memes and the tweets and the posts that they saw came from Russia.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Mm.
- TNTrevor Noah
Right?
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Mm-hmm.
- TNTrevor Noah
Now, I'm not saying this as like a Hillary and the Russ- No, no, no, no, no. I'm just saying on, like, a very simple level.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Yeah.
- TNTrevor Noah
They found a lever that they could pull. In the same way North Korea has focused on hacking crypto.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Yes.
- TNTrevor Noah
Like, North Korea, I don't, most people don't even, like, know this.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Mm.
- TNTrevor Noah
North Korea has gone on, like, a very concerted mission to hack crypto-
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Train big farms
- TNTrevor Noah
... wallets around the world.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
That's right, yeah.
- TNTrevor Noah
And they've gone, "Oh, this money's untraceable."
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Mm-hmm.
- TNTrevor Noah
"But it's usable everywhere, and it's really powerful."
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Mm.
- TNTrevor Noah
"And when you steal it, no one can come after you."
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
That's right.
- TNTrevor Noah
So North Korea's gone out. They steal tons of crypto everywhere in the world.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Yeah.
- TNTrevor Noah
And no one can, like, do anything about it, 'cause you can't, like, really prove it's them, and it's, and they can use it.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Mm.
- TNTrevor Noah
You can't, like, stop them, okay? The same thing happened in and around social media. There were all these farms that were produced-
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Mm-hmm
- TNTrevor Noah
... in and around Russia, and even in, like, parts of Ukraine, if my memory serves me correctly, right? And, like, basically what they did was they just came after Americans.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Mm-hmm.
- 18:33 – 24:42
Trevor's Pitch: Abolish Quarterly Earnings Reports
- TNTrevor Noah
Okay, If I Ruled the World-
- CHChristiana
Mm-hmm
- TNTrevor Noah
... I would abolish quarterly earnings-
- CHChristiana
Mm-hmm
- TNTrevor Noah
... that companies report on.
- CHChristiana
Mm-hmm.
- TNTrevor Noah
And I would probably extend it even further than, like, companies wouldn't be able to report on their earnings for, like, maybe, like, a few years, actually.
- CHChristiana
Mm-hmm.
- TNTrevor Noah
Like, no, no reporting at all from any company.
- CHChristiana
Mm.
- TNTrevor Noah
They wouldn't be ... They'd just be like-
- CHChristiana
Mm-hmm
- TNTrevor Noah
... we just run, run, run, run, run, run.
- CHChristiana
So the, like, the S&P 500, we wouldn't know what's going on with those companies?
- TNTrevor Noah
Yeah, no, though, you wouldn't know their earnings. Like, so-
- CHChristiana
Ah
- TNTrevor Noah
... you know, like, right now it's quarterly.
- CHChristiana
Yeah. Yeah.
- TNTrevor Noah
Quarterly earnings report.
- CHChristiana
Yeah, like, yeah.
- TNTrevor Noah
It's gone.
- CHChristiana
Chrysler made 300 million.
- TNTrevor Noah
No more quarterly earnings.
- CHChristiana
Uh-huh.
- TNTrevor Noah
And I would even extend it to maybe, like, two to three years maybe.
- CHChristiana
Wow.
- TNTrevor Noah
Like, every three years they could report their earnings, right?
- CHChristiana
[laughs] Mm-hmm. Okay.
- TNTrevor Noah
And I'll tell you why.
- CHChristiana
Okay. Mm-hmm.
- 24:42 – 29:52
Casino Economy, 401(k)s, and the Vote on Earnings
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
So I think the, the issue here is the way that quarterly earnings have changed our understanding of the world, even if you aren't in the market.
- TNTrevor Noah
Yes.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Right?
- TNTrevor Noah
That's what I'm-
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Which I agree is a huge problem
- TNTrevor Noah
... that's what I'm saying. So-
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
I think this is like something you said to me once, by the way, Christiana, which I love now using, uh, which is it gives you this, like, casino economy.
- TNTrevor Noah
That's exactly what I mean.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Remember that?
- TNTrevor Noah
Yeah.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Right, that you're constantly in a cycle of risk and loss, and-
- CHChristiana
Mm-hmm.
- TNTrevor Noah
That's what I mean, yes
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
... you're chasing both the dopamine and the possibility.
- TNTrevor Noah
And it's making people think things are worse-
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
And it's, most of it's manufactured
- TNTrevor Noah
... or better, or when it's, but it's not.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
That's right.
- TNTrevor Noah
It's true.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
It's not a sign of quality.
- TNTrevor Noah
It's, it's like judging a rollercoaster on every different slope.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Yeah.
- TNTrevor Noah
You know what I mean?
- CHChristiana
Well, I tr- List- listen, I'm on schwab.com all the time. [laughs]
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
- TNTrevor Noah
That's, that's what I'm saying.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
And I think part of your tension is that that also happened at the same time, the quarterly earnings-
- TNTrevor Noah
Yes
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
... change in our understanding of the world happened at the same time that all of a sudden we were all forced into the market. 'Cause the problem is our houses shouldn't be assets.
- CHChristiana
Yeah.
- 29:52 – 34:57
Tressie's Pitch: A National Job Corps for Customer Service
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
If I ruled the world, there would be a national job corps for customer service jobs. Everybody would be conscripted into working in customer service for some period of time in their life for them to go on to the rest of the labor market, and let me tell you why. We have talked about Job Corps before, about, like, going and doing the jobs that matter to the economy, but it's not the jobs our economy actually does, right? This is a customer service. This is a service-based economy, and what's happened in that, I think has helped fuel, by the way, political polarization, is depending on how much money or status you have, you can buy your way out. Of having to engage f- with customer service to get the stuff you need.
- TNTrevor Noah
Hmm.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
You know it. How many of us go to the airport now and by- I do, I bypass all of the lines, and if they come up with a new tier, I'm getting that one, too.
- TNTrevor Noah
You're damn right.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
I want out of all of it.
- TNTrevor Noah
TSA PreCheck Clear-
- CHChristiana
Clear
- TNTrevor Noah
... Plus.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
That's right.
- CHChristiana
[laughs]
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
I want Clear Plus Plus Plus.
- TNTrevor Noah
Clear Plus Advanced.
- CHChristiana
Global, Global Entry.
- TNTrevor Noah
Global-
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Oh, absolutely
- TNTrevor Noah
... Global, Global Entry.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
And they give you both numbers at the same time-
- TNTrevor Noah
Yes
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
... and ask you which one gets me through faster.
- TNTrevor Noah
Mm-hmm.
- CHChristiana
Yeah.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Like, I'm shaking-
- CHChristiana
Yeah
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
... a bit, the TSA thing, right? Get me through. But I do think that what that has done is, means, it's kinda like the loss of public transportation. It's the loss of any public square. There are people experiencing this country now from a very myopic view.
- CHChristiana
Mm.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
'Cause we all do this. We extrapolate our everyday experiences and go, "Oh, that's how the world works."
- TNTrevor Noah
Yes, yes.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
"That's how the country works." Well now, some people's world actually works like a airport lounge, where everything is smooth, and they're like, "What do you mean? America's great. What are you talking about?" Right?
- CHChristiana
Mm.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
But you know who always knows that things aren't great? The people who have to actually provide the customer service.
- 34:57 – 41:56
Hairdressers, Retail Memories, and 'Hurt People Hurt People'
- CHChristiana
What about, what about hairdressers? 'Cause I have a f- good friend, Vernon-
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Oh
- CHChristiana
... who's an incredible hairdresser.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Oh, no, because we can't have people out here just messing, uh, folks' hairs up.
- TNTrevor Noah
[laughs]
- CHChristiana
[laughs]
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
No, I'm not trying to ruin no kinda, like-
- CHChristiana
Tressie's like-
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Oh, oh
- CHChristiana
... "Well, well, I was gonna say, um-"
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Oh, no. [laughs] That is-
- CHChristiana
Oh, wow
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
... that is skill-based.
- CHChristiana
Okay. Well, well, I was gonna say, I have a friend called Vernon Francois, who's amazing celebrity hairstylist.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Mm-hmm.
- CHChristiana
But he has, like, lots of clients who aren't celebrities, and he said something to me interesting. He was like, "You know, I'm, I'm in service work."
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
That's right.
- CHChristiana
He's like, "I use my body."
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Mm-hmm.
- TNTrevor Noah
Yes.
- CHChristiana
And he's like, "People don't think of it as, like, a physical-
- TNTrevor Noah
Yes, yes, yes
- CHChristiana
... really labo- laborious job."
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Yeah.
- CHChristiana
"I use my body, and I'm very attuned to the client's emotions."
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
That's right.
- TNTrevor Noah
Yes.
- CHChristiana
"And s- whatever the client is, I have to be responsive to them. And when I leave work, I'm drained, even if it's somebody that I really enjoy."
- TNTrevor Noah
Mm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- CHChristiana
And I never thought about his work, so I think there's, like-
- 41:56 – 45:35
Draft Details and Trevor's Re-Up Suggestion
- TNTrevor Noah
Okay. Um-
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
And I might even be the one assigning it. I haven't gone that far, but the more I think about it, the more I like that idea.
- CHChristiana
Okay. Okay.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
But yes, you're going to a draft.
- TNTrevor Noah
Would you, this is me pitching for you to win my vote.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Okay.
- TNTrevor Noah
Would you consider making it something that people have to, like, go back and re-up after a certain amount of time? I only say this because-
- CHChristiana
Ha, you may lose me there, oh. [laughs]
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
[laughs]
- TNTrevor Noah
I'll tell you why.
- CHChristiana
Trevor having to come back again.
- TNTrevor Noah
I'll tell you why.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
It all came out. [laughs]
- CHChristiana
Having to come back. Oh, no, no, no, no, Trevor, no.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
You cannot go back to that department.
- TNTrevor Noah
Wait, I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. I think when young people go into these lines of work-
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Mm-hmm
- TNTrevor Noah
... they process it differently. It's almost like a hobby jobby thing.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
I hear you.
- TNTrevor Noah
So, like, I've seen college kids/high school kids working at, like, a place where something doesn't work. You, like-
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Mm
- TNTrevor Noah
... even if someone's berating them, these kids are just like, "Whatever" They're like, "What?"
- CHChristiana
Okay. Yeah
- TNTrevor Noah
'Cause they, they get shouted at by teachers and parents-
- CHChristiana
Yeah
- TNTrevor Noah
... and whatnot.
- CHChristiana
You know, there's a point
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
And, and that they, they-
- TNTrevor Noah
They, they go like-
- CHChristiana
Yeah, that's a point
- 45:35 – 50:23
The Vote: Tressie Wins and Closing Reflections
- TNTrevor Noah
Yeah, that's what I mean. So people, we live in a world where people don't say, "Man-
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
I'm ready
- TNTrevor Noah
... this neighborhood sucks. We've gotta fix it." They go, "This neighborhood sucks. I gotta get out."
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Get out.
- CHChristiana
Yeah. That's it. True.
- TNTrevor Noah
That's what people say.
- CHChristiana
Yep.
- TNTrevor Noah
And then I go, like, I even feel like that with Americans.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Mm-hmm.
- TNTrevor Noah
When, whenever an election doesn't go the way they want, they go, "I'm leaving this country."
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Yeah.
- TNTrevor Noah
And then I'll often say to them, I'll go, "Yo, first of all, what a crazy privilege you have-
- CHChristiana
Yeah
- TNTrevor Noah
... that you think you can just, like, go anywhere in the world-
- CHChristiana
Mm, yeah
- TNTrevor Noah
... whenever you want to because it's not going the way you like," right?
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Mm-hmm.
- TNTrevor Noah
But also, where's-
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Leave
- TNTrevor Noah
... like, where's your gusto to say-
- CHChristiana
Yeah
- TNTrevor Noah
... "Ah, that's terrible. I'm gonna try to be part of fixing it"?
- CHChristiana
Yeah.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
I understand.
- TNTrevor Noah
Like, 'cause then otherwise you just become like the, the, the, the, you know those people who drive and throw trash out of their car everywhere.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Yes. Yeah.
- TNTrevor Noah
'Cause that's all you're doing. I don't like this. Throw it away. I don't like this.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Mm.
- TNTrevor Noah
Throw it away. No.
- TCTressie McMillan Cottom
Yeah.
Episode duration: 50:24
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