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What Now? With Trevor NoahWhat Now? With Trevor Noah

Tracee Ellis Ross: “I’m the Chooser”

Tracee Ellis Ross on growing up in Diana Ross's embrace — not her shadow — why Girlfriends never got its due, and the dating rule that changed everything: "I'm the chooser."

Trevor NoahhostTracee Ellis RossguestEugenehostEugenehostEugenehost
Aug 13, 20261h 40mWatch on YouTube

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At a glance

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Tracee Ellis Ross on global upbringing, fame, joy, and agency

  1. Ross describes how moving to Paris and attending a Swiss boarding school made her a “child of the world” and reshaped her view of American identity, freedom, and patriotism.
  2. They unpack modern celebrity obsession and misinformation, including how fake online stories generate engagement and money, and how fame changes social dynamics in everyday spaces.
  3. Ross details her Broadway debut in the interactive one-person show “Every Brilliant Thing,” explaining audience casting, the need for participant kindness, and the cognitive load of improvisation within a script.
  4. She explains building Pattern Beauty as a purpose-driven company that gave her ownership and agency, and contrasts “gratitude” with forced compliance—especially for Black people and women in unequal systems.
  5. The conversation turns to dating, societal pressure around marriage/children, and Ross’s shift from “waiting to be chosen” (reinforced by Girlfriends) to identifying as “the chooser” who belongs to herself.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

A global childhood can loosen the grip of national identity narratives.

Ross says boarding school in Switzerland and life in Europe made her a “child of the world,” helping her see how uniquely intense—and sometimes adversarial—American patriotism can feel compared to other countries.

Fame often creates “room-reading” skills that are practical, not glamorous.

Ross explains she scans rooms and can distinguish fans from attention-seekers—skills she uses directly in her interactive Broadway show when selecting audience participants.

Interactive performance depends more on audience kindness than audience talent.

In “Every Brilliant Thing,” overly eager participants can derail the story by trying to perform; Ross and the team select people who are willing but not auditioning, and they prioritize listening and kindness to keep the narrative moving.

The internet’s incentive structure rewards fabrication, not accuracy.

They describe how fake celebrity stories (e.g., rumors Ross was pregnant or seeking a sperm donor) spread because clicks and views translate into revenue, making misinformation a business model.

Entrepreneurship can be a path from being ‘picked’ to building the station yourself.

Ross frames Pattern Beauty as the first thing she built that was fully hers, giving her purpose and control and reducing the pressure to accept acting roles solely for financial stability.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

I became a child of the world, not an American.

— Tracee Ellis Ross

And I'm not gonna make that mean something about me.

— Tracee Ellis Ross

What the f- I'm the chooser.

— Tracee Ellis Ross

One of the things we take for granted in life... is that we very seldom have been asked the question, "What do you want to do?"

— Trevor Noah

Choose your friends by how they make you feel.

— Trevor Noah

Read the available transcript
Heirloom tomatoes and taste vs appearance (US vs Europe)Growing up in Europe and Swiss boarding school (Le Rosey)American patriotism and parenting restrictions vs EuropeFame dynamics: public behavior, thirst messages, litigiousnessInternet clickbait and fabricated celebrity storiesBroadway debut: “Every Brilliant Thing” interactive formatPattern Beauty: entrepreneurship, ownership, creative controlDating as a successful woman; being “a whole planet”Patriarchy and worth: marriage/children as societal metricsGirlfriends legacy and lack of mainstream recognitionJoy, anxiety, therapy/work, and self-trustFriendship selection: how people make you feelRihanna/Fenty as an example of owning powerSleep hygiene and performance sustainability

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SPEAKERS

  • Trevor Noah

    host

    Comedian and TV host; creator/host of the podcast “What Now? With Trevor Noah.”

  • Tracee Ellis Ross

    guest

    Actress and entrepreneur, known for roles including “Girlfriends” and for founding the haircare brand Pattern.

  • Eugene

    host

    Co-host/sidekick on “What Now? With Trevor Noah.”

  • Eugene

    host

    Co-host/sidekick on “What Now? With Trevor Noah.”

  • Eugene

    host

    Co-host/sidekick on “What Now? With Trevor Noah.”

High quality AI-generated summary created from speaker-labeled transcript.

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