What Women Really Want In The Bedroom - Emily Morse

Most of the things that you are worried about when it comes to sex, your performance, your penis size, your body shape, the way you're performing oral sex, your left boob is bigger than your right boob, or whatever the things you're worried about, have like literally zero to do with any sort of pleasure or satisfaction. And people will tell you they have the best sex, it was never because of like the shape of the penis, the, all these things. It's about connection, it's about intimacy, it's about feeling safe, it's about experimenting. It's about really being with someone where you want them to have the most pleasure and they want the same for you. (wind blowing)

Have you looked at how much sex people are having in the modern world?

(laughs)

Are we having more or less sex than previous generations?

Apparently, we're having less sex than previous generations. Media can't get enough of these studies that they're doing that people are not having sex, young people aren't having sex. And turns out people in relationships are having the same amount of sex that they've always had, but younger generations are not doing it.

Interesting. That's, I mean, that's one of the first things that I learned when starting to look at this, which is almost all sex, it's something like 95% of sexual activity within any given year occurs only within relationships. So people think about the singletons that are spraying it all over the place, and it's not.

No.

It's the people that are in relationships that have almost all of the sex.

It's true. And it is alw- and that's been that way for a long time. It's just that, yeah, like you said, but, but people, people aren't just out there dating as much or they're not having sex as much and they're just more, you know, finding satisfaction elsewhere and not prioritizing it, which is really interesting. It's a thing.

Well, it's less of a, it's less of a sex problem than it is a singleton problem in that case. What about... Okay, what have you looked at to do with the relationship between, uh, s- having sex and people's happiness? Do people that have regular access to physical touch, are they, do they live longer? Are they, are they-

Yes.

... happier in life?

All the things. (laughs) Everyone who has more touch, more sex, more connection are definitely happier in life. They report having more pleasure, more life satisfaction. They live longer. You know, touch is a requirement. It really is. There's, there's something called skin hunger, and that's a real condition, that we need physical touch. We require it and as animals. Like we just, we wanna cuddle, we wanna touch. And I think a lot of times we talk about sex, but something that I always talk about is like sex is just part of it. I think a lot of times I think we, we think we're craving sex and how we define sex as like penetration, but really we're craving intimacy, and that could be holding hands, it could be kissing, cuddling, massage, you know? But s- sometimes you just, if you are feeling lonely, and we know we also have a loneliness epidemic and a sex epidemic apparently, but just getting a massage and finding a, cuddling a pu- holding a puppy. We, we require that as humans to thrive and it, it boosts our serotonin, our moods, everything.