19 Raw Lessons You Might Need To Learn Again - Mark Manson (4K)

(laughs)

What you laughing at, Mark?

Your, your business idea, it was just incredible. I'm-

Oh, thank you.

Yeah, I'm still thinking about it.

It's, I'm unable to speak about my million, billion-dollar idea yet.

(laughs) Yeah, it's w- is that because you don't want anybody to steal it, or because yo- you would never be allowed to speak again?

Uh, it's a combination of both.

Okay.

But look, uh-

The world will wait.

The world is gonna have to wait.

Yeah, and then it-

But when it happens, it's gonna know about it. And Andrew Huberman is as well.

Yes. For sure.

All right. Controversial opinion.

Okay.

People would need less therapy if they tolerated fewer assholes.

(laughs) Yeah, I think... What, so I hear, I hear problems from a lot of people. I get a lot of emails. Um, and I have for a long, for almost 20 years now. And, uh, it's amazing to me how often people will, will email me or message me about some issue that's going on in their life, and really, it just comes down to, like, somebody in your life is a dick. And yet instead of just being like, "You know what? I'm not gonna hang out with a dick anymore," and gonna try to change their dickishness. I'm gonna try to, to manipulate it or control it or convince them or h- have them see the light and understand their own dickitude. And it's, it's just, like, such a losing battle, and of course they always, you know, the, the, the email that comes in is, like eight pages long and it has a full biography of every, every party involved. And I'm just like, "Well, what?" Maybe just, like, don't call them back. Like, is it that hard? Um, so I, I, I just... And, and, and when you, when... This doesn't even get into the therapy culture thing, you know, like w- especially when you get on Instagram and you start seeing all these posts about, you know, like, uh, um, you know, "If they don't, if they don't appreciate you at your worst, then they don't deserve you at your best," and all... You know, it's like, life's hard. People don't get along. Like, some people are, are disagreeable and some people are going through shit, and they'll say mean things to you, and... Like, at a certain point, you just, there's a skill set of deciding what is acceptable and what's not acceptable in your life.

Mm.

And you can either develop that skill set or you can just continue to be subjected to the whims and the asshole-nish of, of the people around you.

What do you think are the contributing skills of that skill set?

So I think, I think one reason people get stuck in this is, like, uh, one is just a scarcity mindset around relationships, right? So you often hear scarcity mindset around, like, business and money and all this stuff, and all that stuff is true, but, like, a lot of people have a scarcity mindset around relationships. They think like, "Oh, if I stop hanging out with half my friends, then I'm just never gonna have friends again," where it's like, no, there's an abundance of people in the world, and the way life works is that when somebody exits your life, generally, somebody new will show up in due time to, to kinda fill that role. Um, so I think that's one. I think two is just, like, the courage to speak up or the s- the courage to stand up for yourself. Uh, a lot of people don't feel, um... I don't know what the word is, like that they have permission to, like, express what they feel or express that they feel that they've, they've been disrespected. Um, and I, I also think that a lot of people develop some sort of, like, uh, codependent emotional attachment to, to people around them, right? They, they've, they've, their self-esteem is lodged in the minds and mentalities of others, and so-