How To Find Your “Happily Ever After” - Ty Tashiro

I hear that I've got you onto creatine and protein powders.

(laughs) Yeah. Life changing. I, I gotta say, I listened to an episode of yours about a year ago.

Yep.

With Peter Attia, and, um, the two of you got me on creatine, got me on protein powder, and I have never... I mean, this is the best shape I've been in, in decades, so I, I appreciate-

Let's go.

Yeah. Yeah.

Who knew?

I mean, I'm not at the same level you guys are at, but, uh, for my modest, uh, goals, it's, it's been, it's been really tremendous, so I appreciate that.

Think about how many better relationship outcomes are downstream from you being a bit more jacked over the last 12 months from me and Peter talking shit about how good creatine and protein powders are. The world is interconnected, Ty. Everything is this big sort of mess. Look, dude, I, uh, I, I hope that you've had your creatine this morning 'cause I, I've fallen in love with your work. Dr. Shannon Curry a couple of weeks ago introduced me to you, and, uh, I, I think your stuff's so great. You know, the s- there's real evidence-based, science-backed look at relationships, attachment, love, what it is, what predicts effectiveness, red flags, green flags. So, I wanna, I wanna do a real full run through today.

Great. Looking forward to it.

Awesome. Okay. Uh, happily ever after, how come it's so hard to find?

Ooh. This is a, this is a long story. It gets a little depressing. I promise people, uh, uh, have a better story as we go along here, but, um, you know, the two things people really want when they sit down and think about it is they want a relationship that's happy, I think that's a more obvious thing, but they can forget that, hey, we also want something that's gonna be stable and last. You don't wanna have something that flames out after two or three years. And so, um, happily ever after actually is a phrase that captures that well. And if you look at the data on that, happily ever after is really elusive for modern love. So, I think a lot of people are familiar with the divorce statistics, but let me break that down with a little bit more detail. So, the divorce rate for first marriages is somewhere between 41% and 43%, so it's obviously pretty high. Uh, you would think maybe in a second marriage your divorce risk goes down 'cause y- you learned a couple things. Actually not the case. It goes up 10% for second marriages.

God dammit.

Yeah. (laughs) Goes up 15%, uh, for third marriages. So, if you kinda average all these numbers together, the divorce risk is about, is about 50%. Now, also part of that is, uh, the happy part, so some couples stay together, but they're really unhappy, chronically unhappy. And if you use the most modest estimate possible, you know, that's, that's gonna be about 8% of, 8% to 10% of couples, so now we're up to 63%. Uh, so, you know... Or 60%, I'm sorry. So, happily ever after, yes, is, is really hard to find, and I think it's harder than ever in the modern dating environment that we have.