How To Take Charge Of Your Life's Direction - Tim Urban

... the delusion is that just like we think we have an infinite amount of time, we also think that we don't have choices, that we're stuck where we are. Those two together are a dangerous recipe for complacency. It makes us think, A, I have all the time in the world, and B, what's the point, nothing's gonna change anyway. The opposite, you have limited time and it's totally in your hands. (wind blows)

I just learned about the mutual combat law in Texas. Have you heard of this?

No.

Dude, mutual combat is legal in Texas. To be legal, the fight must be overseen by a police officer. The f- police officer is supposed to act as a referee by breaking up the fight when an obvious victor has emerged. Consent to fight in Texas doesn't even need to be explicitly stated if someone's words and actions make it clear that they want to fight. This is considered consent under the statute. And considering that Texas law allows people to legally carry swords in public, it's hardly surprising that consensual fits- fistfights are legal.

That's a remnant of, uh, what we would call honor culture.

What's honor culture?

Honor culture is, um, is a conflict resolution culture, uh, that exists in a lot of places of the world today, in the Middle East, for example, it's very common and, and, and really, it exists, tends to exist in places where people don't fully, um, trust the law. Um, and, you know, uh, so the more lawless the place, and that's why, you know, obvi- uh, uh, often in slums or in places where it feels very lawless, you'll end up with a very strong honor culture. And honor culture says that, uh, it's defined by real sensitivity to slights, so thin skin. So, if someone insults you, you can't just let that roll off your back. You gotta respond and you respond with direct confrontation. You don't go to the authorities, you respond by fighting. So, in other words, if you insult me, you know, we must have a- we have to have a duel to, you know, I have to... you, you've to restore my reputation. Uh, you have, you know, you've, you've, you've made, um, uh, you know, you've, you've tarnished my reputation and I need to restore it, and I need to preserve my reputation as someone who, uh, can't be just, you know, you can't just walk over me. So, that's honor culture. That's why in honor culture you see a lot of fights, a lot of duels. Um, and the Wild West was very honor culture-ish. Um, you'll note it, you'll see it though in a bar of, you know, a bar, a Boston bar of high schoolers where I used to sometimes be. You know, you s- someone bumps into you and you, you s- you know, you just have to fight them. You know, it's, it's, um... so that's honor culture and, and, um, and I, I say it's a remnant because in pla- in the US today, it's much less common than it used to be. It's been replaced by dignity culture in most of the... you know, which is what happens in, uh, places where people do trust the law, is eventually, it often, um, it will, uh, morph slowly into dignity culture, which is much thicker skinned. It means, it's, it's, you know, sticks and stones may break my bones but words or names will never hurt me. Um, so that's... if you've been he- hearing that as a kid, you were raised with dignity culture which is, you know, let it roll off your back. It's, ignore them. It's not your problem, that's a them problem. But if the thing, i- i- if something gets so bad, um, you know, if someone's really hassling you, it doesn't say you should be a pushover to it. But it doesn't say go fight them, ever. It says go to the- go to the authorities. So, honor culture is thin skin and you, and you've go- direct confrontation. Dignity culture is thick skin but when it gets a certain level, you go to the authorities.