How To Defeat Your Self Doubt - Lewis Howes

The problem I wanna solve is helping people overcome self-doubt, because I believe self-doubt is the killer of all of our dreams. When we doubt ourselves, we can have all the talent, we can have all the people encouraging us around us, but if we don't believe, it's gonna be hard to accomplish what we want. Well, I wanna rid the world of self-doubt. (wind blowing)

Lewis Howes, welcome to the show.

My man. Thanks for having me. (hands clap)

My pleasure, dude.

You're, you're even better looking in person, even though you look good on screen, too.

For the people that-

You look jacked on screen, you know?

Thank you. Well, for the people that are just listening, we did actually decide that we're gonna dress the same.

Twinsies.

Yeah, it's cute.

(laughs)

Uh, thank you for coming to Austin to see me.

Thanks, brother. Thanks for having me, man.

What do you think most people misunderstand about greatness?

Most people go for success, and they realize that it's not the thing that's gonna bring them the most fulfillment. Success is a selfish game, something I played for 30 years. And there's nothing wrong with success. I think success is fine, but when we just chase success by itself, it's really about me. Look at me winning, succeeding, accomplishing, making money, getting the awards. This is a, this is a me game, and I played that game for a long time. And it worked. I got results. I got things, money, opportunities, success. But it didn't solve the, uh, the heart game. It didn't solve the game of, how do I feel about me? Chasing the success and winning or earning never felt enough still. So, I was doing it from a wound. And I think people... Again, there's nothing wrong with it, but I just think that greatness is different than success in the terms that greatness is a we game, success is a me game. And greatness includes going after what you want, but really making an impact on the people around you and empowering and lifting others up and helping them succeed and win, too. When it's just me versus the world, I just think that's a lonely game.

I would agree. There's a, a, a quote from our mutual friend, Alex Hormozi, that got me thinking, quite a while ago, about the tension between success and the desire to feel like enough. So, I'm gonna-

Yes.

... give you, read this out to you. "Success is a strange thing. Presumably, we want success because we think a more successful life will bring us more happiness, meaning, and fulfillment. Here's the problem. We sacrifice the thing we want, happiness, for the thing which is supposed to get it, success. Failure can make you miserable, but I'm not sure that success will make you happy."

Mm-hmm.

"One of the most common dynamics I see amongst high performers is this. Parents want their child to do well. Parents encourage their child to do well by praising when they succeed and criticizing when they fail. The child learns that praise and admiration is contingent on succeeding."