How To Kill Your Inner B*tch - John Lovell

What does it mean to live free and die well?

Sure. So it's wrapped up in our whole warrior poet ethos that's living for higher purpose, being ready to sacrifice in the defense of others. Ultimately, to live well in the present, you have to really start with the end in mind. Uh, lots of folks just go through life in an extremely reactionary manner. Things happen, the tyranny of the urgent comes up, and before you know it, all of your waking hours and even your kind of off-hours are spent stressing about stuff. Though if you were given a death diagnosis, you know, you are terminally ill, much of the stuff that we droll on with every single day would immediately sift to the edges of our attention as not important. And what can happen in the tyranny of the urgent is the most important stuff gets shuffled to the back. Being able to die well means that you lived a life that was worthy of your calling, so to speak. And in so doing, uh, y- you're able to live well with, uh, kind of that end in mind. And so, uh, in my estimation, having faced death, you know, many different times, it really allowed me to focus on what did I, what I wanted to do in life. And so it turns out that you'll die the exact same way that you live, whether that's poorly or well.

I love the tyranny of the urgent. I absolutely love that. I think it's- it's so accurate for how many people live their lives. There's this meme that I saw floating around a while ago that said, um, "Adulthood is just one series of weeks after the next saying, 'After this week it'll calm down,' and then you die."

Oh, it's such a trap. You know, folks think of like, "Man, uh, m- my 9:00 to 5:00 sucks and, uh, if- if I can just get through all the chores and the tasks, and I fix up the house, and I pay that off, and I work, and, you know, ultimately one day I'll have a nest egg big enough. And then when I'm 65 years old, I'm gonna really start living. That's when it'll get really good." Uh, and, uh, what you don't realize is that is overrated once you even get there. Uh, you look back of like, no, no, let's start living well right now. All there is is today. Y- you're not promised tomorrow. And so I don't want to delay living and having a meaningful impact on the world around me for hoping that one day I can start living right.

You mentioned that you've faced death. Uh, you were in the armed forces for a long while. You did a number of tours and you were in some kinetic, uh, encounters, I guess you could say. What was the closest that you think you came to death during your active service?