Understanding The Modern Dating Economy - James Bloodworth | Modern Wisdom Podcast 370

So men, I think, are often fed this narrative that masculinity is inherently toxic, which I think is- can be very damaging. But then they go out into the sexual marketplace, they go out to a bar, they go onto an app, and it's the guys who are stereotypically masculine which tend to be doing better when it comes to dating. So i- it throws up this kind of cognitive dissonance. Like, what is going on here?

Why is calling the dating market the dating economy a good term?

Um, I- I'm not sure it's a good term. I mean, it's- it's- it seems very, um... It seems slightly brutal to- to look at the dating, romance and our ideas of romance to turn it into some kind of economic exchange. Um, I th- but I think it can be useful. I think it can be a useful way to... It can be a useful metaphor for- for some of the things that are going on in- in the world of dating. And I think it- it can be a useful metaphor for people who aren't in that dating market at the moment. Say, older, typically older people who are married or who grew up in a very different era when very different social norms prevailed. I think the idea of- of a dating economy, uh, can be a useful way to convey to them some of the inequalities that exist now. And I sp- and- and the final point, really, is with dating apps you have actual data, um, on what men's and women's preferences are. So it- it- it, that can, that can be put in spreadsheets so it's kind of a, it is kind of an economy.

Yeah. Well, you're hearing more, sort of economic language around this stuff now. People are scored out of 10. You have algorithms that are manipulating people's, uh, ranks on dating accounts. There are like sexual market value is a term that's often used in men's right spaces around the relative age to attractiveness graph that goes on. So it kind of, it kind of does make sense. And yeah, I suppose communicating it to people who found their, found their partner a very long time ago, they need something to be able to bridge the gap between their dating world and ours, which is essentially a different universe.

Yeah. A- and I mean, there is a dark side to it as well, though. I think there's- there's a dark side to, um, treating it as an economy. And- and- and treating it in this very like deterministic fashion, um, quantitative fashion, where you- you ascribe these certain characteristics of someone, say like a Chad. So like th- the good-looking Chad guy. And that, you know, that's the person who- who- who gets with women and then this other person who doesn't look the right way, uh, doesn't. You know, they have no chance. It's over, a- as some of the incels say. I think that kind of determinism can tend to creep into it, um, when it's seen as like an economy. Whereas in, like w- in reality, like dating is, it's not, you know, a market where there's certain laws which exist. It's- it's- there's- there's nuances, aren't there? Like someone doesn't, um... Yeah, it's too- too simplistic, too- too deterministic.