
Are Incels A Threat To Society? - William Costello
William Costello (guest), Chris Williamson (host)
In this episode of Modern Wisdom, featuring William Costello and Chris Williamson, Are Incels A Threat To Society? - William Costello explores incels, Mating Crisis, And Modern Feminism’s Unintended Social Consequences Chris Williamson and evolutionary psychology researcher William Costello discuss incels within a larger “modern mating crisis” shaped by feminism, online dating, shifting gender roles, and economic incentives. They argue that corporate and cultural forces push a male-default, careerist model onto women while devaluing motherhood, contributing to declining birthrates and relationship instability. Costello presents data showing extreme loneliness, depression, and suicidality among incels, alongside evidence that a small minority of high-status men capture a disproportionate share of sexual opportunities. They also critique media alarmism about incel terrorism, suggesting the bigger risk is self‑directed harm and a broader societal destabilization from large numbers of unpartnered men and women.
Incels, Mating Crisis, And Modern Feminism’s Unintended Social Consequences
Chris Williamson and evolutionary psychology researcher William Costello discuss incels within a larger “modern mating crisis” shaped by feminism, online dating, shifting gender roles, and economic incentives. They argue that corporate and cultural forces push a male-default, careerist model onto women while devaluing motherhood, contributing to declining birthrates and relationship instability. Costello presents data showing extreme loneliness, depression, and suicidality among incels, alongside evidence that a small minority of high-status men capture a disproportionate share of sexual opportunities. They also critique media alarmism about incel terrorism, suggesting the bigger risk is self‑directed harm and a broader societal destabilization from large numbers of unpartnered men and women.
Key Takeaways
A small minority of men are monopolizing sexual access in the modern mating market.
Data cited show the top 20% and especially top 5% of men greatly increased their number of sexual partners over time, while overall male partner counts stayed flat—evidence of “effective polygyny,” where a few high-status ‘Chads’ dominate.
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Corporate and cultural messaging incentivize women toward child-free, careerist lifestyles.
Bloomberg and Morgan Stanley portray single, childless women as aspirational worker-consumers, which Costello and Williamson see as aligning with corporate interests and contributing to a Brave New World–style, atomized, hedonistic society.
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Incels are severely mentally unwell and primarily self-hating, not simply misogynistic extremists.
Costello’s research finds very high rates of depression, anxiety, loneliness, and suicidality among incels, with most of their toxic language directed at themselves; only a minority of posts are overtly racist or misogynistic, and the majority don’t fit a classic organized-terror profile.
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Belief in permanent inceldom and the black pill mindset worsens mental health outcomes.
Around 80% of surveyed incels believe they will be celibate for life, and this sense of permanence plus an external locus of control strongly predicts lower life satisfaction and higher depression, reinforcing hopelessness and withdrawal.
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Hypergamy is changing but not disappearing, and the consequences can be ugly.
As more women out-earn or out-educate men, some are “mating down” reluctantly, with evidence of rising female infidelity and greater reports of intimate partner violence in relationships where the woman has higher status—indicating unresolved tension in shifting gender and status dynamics.
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Online dating and status-saturated media amplify mate competition and perceived rejection.
Apps turn dating into a global status game where people can accumulate more rejections in a day than ancestors might in a lifetime, while visible metrics (followers, likes) and curated images make looks, money, and status seem like the only currencies that matter.
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The larger mating crisis threatens social stability through ‘young male syndrome’ and atomization.
Historically, surplus unpartnered men are associated with risk-taking, violence, and instability; while porn and online status can pacify some of this, the combination of lonely men, lonely women, and low fertility is a slow-moving but serious societal risk.
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Notable Quotes
“The mating crisis hurts everybody, not just incels, not just men. It hurts almost everybody except a tiny minority of men at the top.”
— William Costello
“Loveless sex is not empowering, and teaching women that they should compete with men on having loveless sex—only one gender is going to win that. It’s not going to be the women.”
— Chris Williamson
“We live in a world that’s very saturated with sex. You get the impression that everyone is out there having amazing sex lives… People overestimate how much sex other people are having.”
— William Costello
“Evolutionarily, we’re not actually enemies; we’re each other’s greatest ally. These concerted efforts to make men and women adversarial are ultimately doomed to fail in the face of 150,000 years of selection pressures causing us to love each other.”
— William Costello
“From an extremism point of view, what does extreme inceldom look like? To me, it looks more like suicidality than terrorism.”
— William Costello
Questions Answered in This Episode
If the core drivers of the mating crisis are also the gains of feminism and economic development, what realistic policy or cultural shifts could alleviate the problem without regressing on women’s rights?
Chris Williamson and evolutionary psychology researcher William Costello discuss incels within a larger “modern mating crisis” shaped by feminism, online dating, shifting gender roles, and economic incentives. ...
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How might dating apps and social platforms be redesigned to reduce effective polygyny and perceived status gaps, and encourage more stable, broad-based pair bonding?
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What forms of ethical, holistic male self-improvement could be promoted that address incel despair without sliding into adversarial red-pill ideology?
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How can society revalue motherhood and long-term partnership without shaming women who choose careers or childlessness, and without turning that message into another tool of corporate or political control?
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Given the extremely high suicidality among incels, what targeted mental health, community, or friendship-building interventions might realistically reach them and be accepted by them?
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Transcript Preview
Compared to 2002, men overall had the same number of partners in 2013, but the top 20% of men had a 25% increase in sexual partners, and the top 5% of men had an even more dramatic 38% increase. It really is that kind of effective polygyny towards the top th- the minority of men th- the chads are actually cleaning up. (laughs)
"A growing number of women are choosing not to have kids, and as a result, are advancing in their careers and using their wealth to buy property and travel more." This is an article by Bloomberg, I think. It came out of their Business Week edition. "Ashley Marrero isn't married and doesn't have kids, and she has a message for women just like her, you can still have it all. 'I love my life and feel very fulfilled,' says Marrero, who froze her eggs in 2018 to keep her options open. The 43-year-old feels a deep sense of satisfaction from her job as a sales representative for a maker of medical devices, which brings her into contact with patients, and she relishes all of the lifestyle and financial freedoms that come with being a single, child-free woman in a well-paying job. Marrero, who was married for four years before getting divorced in 2008, enjoys an enviable degree of financial independence. The West Village resident owns her own apartment she bought in 2019 for around $900,000 and then renovated, and in June, she closed on a summer home in New Jersey's Long Beach Island with her sister Christina, who is a few years older and also single with no kids. Ashley figures she's taken 10 trips in the last 12 months and often friends with a large group of about 25 people who are largely unmarried and don't have children." Those trips, at 43, sound like they suck.
(laughs)
I do not want to go on that trip, frankly.
Yeah, so everything you just described there is kind of like a- a symptom of what, uh, I would call the wider mating crisis, and it seems to be like a- a cultural kind of prioritizing of the male default of economic success, the kind of girlboss, lean-in kind of culture seems to be set up as what a- the vision for success for women, uh, tends to be, and yet you have a lot of even corporate giants kind of getting in on this. Um, a few years ago, you had Morgan Stanley, the investment bankers put out a report that forecasts that 45% of prime working-age women between the ages of 25 and 44 will be single and childless, uh, by 2030, the largest share, uh, in history. And, uh, it's not entirely obvious to me that this is in women's best interest. I mean, I'm pretty libertarian in my sensibilities about, you know, freedom of choice for whatever someone wants to do with their life, um, but i- i- it seems to me like a- you can see the kind of corporate interest in, uh, opening up more worker drones for 60-hour work weeks, uh, that, you know, the- the workplace now, women are crushing it. It's a brain-based economy rather than a brawn-based economy. So, uh, that- that seems to be in their interests. And it's weird, it's like- it's almost like Huxley, and it's like Brave New World. Ha- have you read that, Chris?
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