Men Aren't Having Enough Sex - Zack Telander
Chris Williamson (host), Zack Telander (guest)
In this episode of Modern Wisdom, featuring Chris Williamson and Zack Telander, Men Aren't Having Enough Sex - Zack Telander explores dating Apps, Gender Wars, And Training ‘For The Difficult’ In Men’s Lives Chris Williamson and Zack Telander move from light banter about music, movies, and visas into a deeper discussion about deliberate hardship, social media presence, and modern dating. They explore the idea of “training for the difficult” via figures like Kyriakos Grizzly, Jack White, and David Goggins, arguing that embracing inconvenience builds character and better work. The conversation then critiques celebrity culture, the Amber Heard–Johnny Depp trial, and the way men’s and women’s bodies and feelings are treated differently in media. In the final act, they dissect dating apps, incel trends, and data showing how swipe culture amplifies inequality and neglects the traits that actually predict long-term relationship success.
Dating Apps, Gender Wars, And Training ‘For The Difficult’ In Men’s Lives
Chris Williamson and Zack Telander move from light banter about music, movies, and visas into a deeper discussion about deliberate hardship, social media presence, and modern dating. They explore the idea of “training for the difficult” via figures like Kyriakos Grizzly, Jack White, and David Goggins, arguing that embracing inconvenience builds character and better work. The conversation then critiques celebrity culture, the Amber Heard–Johnny Depp trial, and the way men’s and women’s bodies and feelings are treated differently in media. In the final act, they dissect dating apps, incel trends, and data showing how swipe culture amplifies inequality and neglects the traits that actually predict long-term relationship success.
Key Takeaways
Deliberately adding difficulty can boost creativity and resilience.
Using Kyriakos Grizzly’s mantra “for the difficult” and Jack White’s rejection of convenience, they argue that intentionally making tasks harder (e. ...
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Mystique and scarcity can strengthen a public figure’s impact.
They contrast constant content output with figures like David Goggins, Jordan Peterson, and the band Tool, noting that infrequent appearances and aloofness can create intrigue—though this only works once you’ve already built credibility and a track record.
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You shouldn’t copy what elites do now; copy what they did early.
Whether in lifting (modeling Klokov or Liu Xiaojun), investing (Warren Buffett), or music (Maynard Keenan), copying top performers’ current habits ignores the long apprenticeship that got them there; instead, emulate people one or two levels ahead and the early-stage behaviors of your heroes.
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Celebrity drama distracts from more consequential power abuses.
They point out that the televised Depp–Heard trial became a global spectacle while the Ghislaine Maxwell trial ran quietly with no cameras, suggesting public attention is steered toward Hollywood gossip rather than systemic elite misconduct.
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Both genders harm each other—and themselves—through body and gender narratives.
While culture focuses on protecting women from body-shaming, they highlight how men face extreme physique standards (e. ...
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Dating apps concentrate romantic ‘wealth’ among a small pool of men.
Data cited show Tinder’s inequality (Gini coefficient comparable to unequal nations), where average men get liked by less than 1% of women and bottom‑tier men get about one match a week, while women concentrate attention on a small elite of highly attractive men—contributing to a tripling of young men reporting no sex in the past year.
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Swipe culture optimizes for the wrong traits for long-term relationships.
They reference research that apps can predict what you’ll swipe on (height, looks, income) but those traits have almost zero predictive power for long‑term relationship success; stability, conscientiousness, and growth mindset matter far more, yet are invisible in profile photos and one‑line bios.
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Notable Quotes
“Convenience is the enemy of creativity.”
— Jack White (quoted by Zack Telander)
“You have to live it… I train for the difficult.”
— Kyriakos Grizzly (quoted by Zack Telander)
“Do what they did when they were at your stage, not when they’re at that stage.”
— Chris Williamson
“Conventional attractiveness has zero predictive power for long-term relationship success.”
— Chris Williamson (citing research from a previous guest)
“It’s significantly easier to just have a one-size-fits-all answer because you never have to question your assumptions again.”
— Chris Williamson
Questions Answered in This Episode
How can an individual practically incorporate ‘training for the difficult’ into their daily life without veering into self-sabotage or burnout?
Chris Williamson and Zack Telander move from light banter about music, movies, and visas into a deeper discussion about deliberate hardship, social media presence, and modern dating. ...
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What would a dating platform look like if it were genuinely optimized around traits that predict long-term relationship success rather than superficial appeal?
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In what concrete ways do gendered double standards around body image and emotional resilience shape how young men and women see themselves today?
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How can people navigate dating apps without internalizing the harsh inequality and rejection that data like Tinder’s Gini coefficient reveal?
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What strategies can content creators use to balance consistency with mystique so they remain relevant without becoming overexposed or burning out?
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Transcript Preview
Conventional attractiveness has zero predictive power for long-term relationship success. What the (censored) ?
It doesn't matter how loudly or how many times you say that, I'm pretty sure it's been said many times before and it's only getting more and more important.
How are you feeling after your weekend gig playing, uh, Champagne Supernova to a massive crowd of, uh, 18 adults and five children, uh, on Saturday?
You know, I- I- I feel like a celebrity. You know? Just walking into a party, picking up an instrument and singing an absolute classic. That's... By the way, like, I- I said that that night, like, that has gotta be a staple if you're trying to just have a singalong song. Really, any Oasis song, we've determined.
The thing is-
Champagne Supernova.
... in the UK, if you were to ask it in the UK, it would be a bit cheesy, because everybody already thinks that. Like, to- to put Wonder Wall or Don't Look Back in Anger or Champagne Supernova, it's so obvious. But I said it in America and everyone was like, "Yes, amazing idea." I'm thinking, "Hmm, it was the first thing that came to mind."
Well, okay. Wonder Wall, Wonder Wall is... It's like that here. Okay, so that is a corny one to choose. If you've gotta pick up a guitar and you start playing Wonder Wall, you're gonna get shit for it, 100%, because it's just like, you know... You know the meme where it's like the conversation ends and you go, "Anyway, here's Wonder Wall."
(laughs)
You know?
No.
Yes.
No.
So that... It is, it is a widely known thing, just like don't play Wonder Wall. But Champagne Supernova, that's not off limits.
You crushed it, man. It was good. Yeah, we had a... I had a great Saturday. I went to LIFT: ATX, this new indoor/outdoor gym. That was fantastic. It's a bit hot. Well, it's very hot. Austin generally, man... I went away to Guatemala, right? So I'm in Guatemala, uh, getting the visa thing and then I come back and something's happened. Someone's flicked a switch in Austin and this place is disgusting now. And it's appare- uh, everyone's like, "Oh, just wait until summer arrives." I don't want to wait until summer arrives. This is already far too much for me.
Yeah. It's... At a certain point, it's either like you go from AC unit to AC unit or AC unit to pool, you know?
To shower.
Like-
To AC unit.
Yeah, to shower. You don't wanna... You're not just like doing outdoor activities and not having, like, air conditioning near you.
Well-
For sure.
Like, everyone in England knows... Most people in cold places understand that you want to dress appropriately and spend as little time in the cold as possible moving from, you know, a heated car, to a heated house, to a heated office, to a gym or whatever. But the reverse just is so bizarre. It's like, oh, you don't wanna go outside, it's too hot. Like, there, there's never been a problem. I've always wanted it to be more hot. But yeah, so, uh, did LIFT: ATX, that was cool. Went to see Everything Everywhere All at Once with Sky-
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