CHAPTERS
- 0:00 – 0:30
Masking ADHD traits to avoid shame and stand out less
Alex explains how many people with ADHD feel different and carry intense shame, which can lead them to mask—constantly adjusting their behavior to blend in. This coping strategy is often about keeping others comfortable so the person can feel safe, but it comes at a high personal cost.
- •ADHD can come with feeling "different" and strong shame
- •Masking aims to blend in and avoid being "too much"
- •Frequent self-adjustment to meet others’ expectations
- •People-pleasing as a way to keep others at bay and feel okay
- •This adaptation creates significant personal strain
- 0:30 – 0:48
The hidden mental workload: overthinking, rehearsing, and hyper-editing
He describes what may be happening internally when someone is masking: intense overthinking and constant preparation. Everyday communication can become a repetitive, exhausting process driven by fear of getting it wrong or triggering rejection sensitivity.
- •Rehearsing what to say before meetings or conversations
- •Reading and re-reading messages repeatedly before responding
- •Trying to stay a step ahead socially and professionally
- •Managing the risk of RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria) reactions
- •The cumulative effect is chronic exhaustion
