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Deep Dive with Ali Abdaal

How To Find Your Purpose in Life with Vee Kativhu

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Vee KativhuguestAli Abdaalhost

Dec 13, 20212h 10mWatch on YouTube

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CHAPTERS

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Chapter summaries

Meeting Vee and Getting the Book Deal
Ali introduces Vee and her book Empowered, and the two meet in person for the first time. Vee explains how an editor's email after a six-hour video binge led to the deal, and how she wrote the book while starting her Harvard degree.
- •Vee's editor watched hours of her videos before emailing that her story should be a book
- •She began writing the book on the same day she started her degree at Harvard
- •She took about two months off YouTube to manage both commitments
- •Her family celebrated her graduation at home with balloons and gowns during the pandemic
Growing Up in Zimbabwe and the Road to Oxford
Vee tells her story of being raised as an orphan in Zimbabwe, reuniting with her mother in England, and being told by a teacher that Oxford wasn't for people like her. She describes the foundation year that got her in and why she chose history.
- •Her father died when she was two and her mother moved to England, separating Vee from her sister
- •She and her mother picked Oxford by googling the best place to study history
- •She entered through a pilot foundation year at Lady Margaret Hall
- •Her mother never pressured her toward a traditional profession and simply followed her lead
Being Black at Oxford and Why She Started YouTube
Vee describes the lack of diversity at Oxford, the pressure of speaking for her whole race, and the extra attention on the foundation year. She explains that frustration with this, and with institutional inaction, is why she began her channel.
- •About 32 Black students in a year of roughly 3,000 undergraduates
- •She felt constantly seen through her race and responsible for access work
- •Oxford's turning away of a Stormzy scholarship left her questioning how serious the institution was
- •The channel began as a way to tell young Black students they belong and can come as they are
Access, Unconscious Bias and What Universities Should Do
Ali asks how to respond to the argument that Black students simply don't get the grades. Vee answers that the real gaps are opportunity, funding and nurturing, and argues universities should contextualize applicants' grades and train staff on unconscious bias.
- •Vee sees a lack of opportunity, nurturing and love in schools, not a lack of talent
- •A B earned in a under-resourced school can equal an A star elsewhere
- •Interviewers tend to connect with similar applicants, so universities need to contextualize
- •Her friends at home were deterred by confidence and perceptions of Oxford, not ability
What Students Can Do and the Story of Empowered by Vee
Vee advises students to use free online resources and explains how her annual Empowered by Vee events came about, including the late-night naming story. She describes the platform's aim of bridging academic ability and self-belief.
- •Free resources, StudyTubers and free events can bridge gaps that others pay for
- •The name Empowered by Vee was settled at 3 a.m. with her friends over tea and biscuits
- •Vee is uneasy having her name in it but says students now have ownership of the platform
- •It is an academic empowerment platform joining ability with self-belief
Workshops, Events and Giving People Permission to Believe
Vee explains how the workshops and annual conference work, and why a word of belief can change someone's path. Ali compares her to a modern-day Tony Robbins, and Vee says the work grew out of anger at Oxford.
- •Workshops run for about two weeks, with coaching on self-doubt
- •Students' struggles are almost always about support and belonging, not grades
- •A teacher's discouragement can shatter someone whose fears are already close to the surface
- •Vee says the work started by mistake, out of anger and imposter syndrome at Oxford
Honest Motives and Staying Grounded About Stats
Ali admits his own motives include status and money and asks Vee why helping people dominates hers. She describes not knowing YouTube could be a job, and how her mother and family keep her grateful for every view and comment.
- •Ali cites the idea that people have a good reason and a real reason for what they do
- •Vee began the channel from anger and because sending a link was easier than repeating answers
- •Her mother keeps her grounded by reminding her that 100 commenters couldn't fit in the back garden
- •Her family celebrates everything, and she stays aware that it could all disappear
Reframing Everything: Vee's Mother and the Barbie Doll
Vee shares her mother's habit of reframing hardship, including the secondhand Barbie doll with a missing ear. Ali is moved, and Vee says the positivity is simply how she was raised.
- •Her mother turned a scratched secondhand Barbie into a doll with a story
- •Vee's mother wrote a card of encouragement that made Jade cry when she read it
- •Vee says her constant positivity is not just for the camera
- •She says she won't waste her one life being sad
51:11 – 1:06:30
How to Find Your Purpose
Starting from the first chapter of the book, Vee offers ways to find purpose: what you'd do for free and what you can't stay away from. They discuss applying this to people in corporate jobs, Ali's own exit from medicine, and the idea that purpose is only for a season.
- •Look for what you'd do for free and what is always on your mind
- •Purpose isn't a lifelong marriage and can change, in the spirit of becoming
- •A person at JP Morgan can look at what they rush home to do in their spare time
- •Ali recalls the shower-thought test and the ideal ordinary week exercise
- •Vee says she recently quit a job and won't stay trapped because she announced it
Passion for You, Purpose for Others: Put Your Own Mask On First
Discussing the quote that passion is for you and purpose is for others, Vee argues passion must come first so you can serve others without burning out. Ali offers the airplane oxygen mask analogy, and Vee connects it to choosing a degree you care about.
- •Serving a purpose without passion leaves you running on empty
- •Vee chose education over other worthy causes because that's where her passion is
- •The oxygen mask analogy: look after yourself first or grow resentful
- •Ali criticizes the lionization of the martyr
- •Passion for your degree carries you through hard moments like essay crises
Goals: Input Versus Outcome and Celebrating Every Stage
Ali says he is anti-goals and Vee disagrees, until they find they differ mostly in terminology: input goals versus outcome goals. Vee describes splitting goals into stages and throwing a party for each, and they apply this to the question of writing a book for pride versus bestseller status.
- •Vee argues goals should be adjustable and reviewed regularly, not lock you in
- •Ali favors input goals within his control, such as one video a week
- •Vee would split getting in, staying in and graduating into separate goals to celebrate
- •Ali contrasts writing a book he's proud of with hitting the New York Times list
- •Vee admits she wants to be more business-minded in 2022
Empowered Life Goals and the Pyramid Method
Vee explains empowered life goals as long-term goals driven by your own choices rather than others' expectations. She then walks through her pyramid method, breaking a goal down into systems and weekly tasks.
- •Empowered life goals are driven by your passions, not by what others expect
- •Not every goal needs a bigger purpose; some things are just for enjoyment, like Zumba
- •The pyramid puts the goal at the top and the systems that support it beneath
- •Breaking a goal into weekly work reveals whether it is feasible and helps avoid overwhelm
Fear of Failure, Rejection as Redirection and Accountability Partners
Vee describes failure as fuel, using the pebble beach analogy, and explains why she sees rejection as redirection. She also describes her empowerment circle and how her mum and sister kept her going when classmates were unkind about her channel.
- •The pebble analogy treats each failure as information about where the prize isn't
- •Rejection is redirection: you survive it and move on with new information
- •An empowerment circle holds you to your goals when doubt arrives
- •She nearly quit the channel at university after hearing classmates laughing at her videos
- •Changing yourself based on critics' comments leaves you with no direction
Money, Brand Deals and Financial Literacy
Ali asks why Vee is open about money, and she describes going from McDonald's wages to YouTube income and being underpaid before she had management. She talks about her supportive audience, her family's grounding, how she spends and invests, and her plan to improve her financial literacy.
- •Her pay jumped from around £4.95 an hour to hundreds of pounds, and the same brand later paid in the thousands once she had management
- •Her audience cheers for sponsorships and she works only on aligned deals
- •She doesn't have a team and hasn't tracked channel revenue closely
- •She invests in an ethical app, her education and experiences
- •Financial literacy is on her agenda for 2022
Rapid Fire: Advice, Success and Journey Over Destination
Ali closes with rapid-fire questions covering advice to her younger self, role models, success and daily routines. Vee also covers favorite books, rebuilding from scratch and her mantras, before the episode wraps up.
- •She'd tell her younger self to be more audacious sooner and to unlearn the orphan label
- •Her influences include Oprah, Michelle Obama and her friend Malala
- •Her definition of success is seeing the number of girls out of school decrease
- •She recommends We Should All Be Feminists and Educated, and a £20 tripod
- •Her mantras are that she deserves everything she wants and that rejection is redirection
- •Journey beats destination, which is a bonus

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