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BigDeal by Codie Sanchez

How To Speak Like A Top 1% CEO

My new book Own Or Be Owned is out now! I wrote Own or Be Owned to answer one question: How do you make more money, less miserably?

Codie Sanchezhost

Sep 29, 202521mWatch on YouTube

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CHAPTERS

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Chapter summaries

Lead With the Headline
Codie opens by promising techniques the top 1% use to get people leaning in, then gives the first one: start with the point, not the preamble. Giving the headline first frames the conversation and keeps others from restating your idea as their own.
- •Obsess over your first sentence
- •Executives skip throat-clearing and runways
- •Headline-first speech frames the conversation
- •It makes it harder for someone to reframe your idea and take credit
Decisive Speech: Cutting Hedges and Apologies
Codie defines decisive speech as clear, direct statements with limited hedging, qualifiers and apologies. She contrasts vague requests for someone's time with a formula of what's wrong, why the other person cares, and how long it will take.
- •Decisive speech signals competence
- •Vague asks like "Can I steal a few minutes?" raise questions
- •Formula: what's wrong, why they should care, how long it takes
- •Example pitch: marketing is too slow, replace two hires, raise the budget, work in 24-hour cycles
Warmth and Competence Cues
Respect comes from how fast you signal "I'm a friend" (warmth) and "you can rely on me" (competence), a framework Codie learned from Vanessa Van Edwards. She walks through nonverbal cues for each, such as the slow triple nod and head tilt for warmth, and confident posture and finger steepling for competence.
- •Respect is about signaling trust and reliability quickly
- •Slow triple nod makes the other person speak 67% longer
- •Head tilt and lifted shoulders are warmth cues
- •Tall posture, shoulders back, hands visible and steepling signal competence
Cut Words, Add Weight
Codie advises using fewer, sharper words backed by numbers, data and credentials. She contrasts a rambling answer to a boss's question with a good one that uses a "gut reaction," three steps and a set time to regroup.
- •"We'll double revenue in 12 months" beats vague phrasing
- •Numbers and credentials reinforce expertise
- •Data plus brevity signals confidence
- •A "gut reaction" framing lets you commit lightly while sounding authoritative
The GET: Gestures, Eyes, Tone
Codie introduces the GET (gestures, eyes, tone) as the way to be heard. She covers precise gestures, a lower and flatter tone without filler words, avoiding the upward inflection at the end of sentences, and narrowed, focused eyes.
- •Gestures should be precise and purposeful
- •Speak at a lower pitch and avoid filler words like "uh" and "like"
- •Avoid the uptick at the end of sentences
- •Narrowed, focused eyes signal active engagement and analysis
Master the Pause
After delivering a key point, stop talking and let silence create gravity. Codie shares a raised-finger trick for holding the floor if you lack the authority for people to wait, plus a count-to-five technique.
- •Pauses make your words echo longer
- •Most people keep talking out of fear someone will jump in
- •A raised finger nonverbally tells others to wait
- •Counting to five while looking around the room helps
Tell Stories, Not Stats
Narrative beats numbers: humans follow stories, not spreadsheets. Codie says her company's saying is "show me, don't tell me," and illustrates with a friend dating the wrong man, contrasting a string of questions with a vivid story.
- •"We almost lost that company because of one bad hire" beats "turnover rose 12%"
- •CEOs weave stories and numbers, with stories leading
- •Her company wants the story, the data and the numbers behind it
- •A specific remembered moment persuades better than rhetorical questions
The Three-Point Rule and Named Frames
Framing everything in threes makes speech feel complete, memorable and persuasive. Codie adds that fancy named frames like first principles or second and third order effects can deliver a blunt criticism in a form that is harder to push back on.
- •Example structure: opportunity, risk, next step
- •The brain loves patterns of three
- •Three is easy to remember, four hard, five very difficult
- •Phrases like "lack of urgency bias" soften a blunt message
Command the Frame
Whoever controls the frame controls the debate. Codie recommends redefining the lens ("this isn't about money, it's about survival") and redirecting rather than arguing, while warning that a fake smile or smirk reads as condescension.
- •Redefine the lens instead of saying "I disagree"
- •Redirect with "That's a separate issue, let's focus on the core problem"
- •A side smirk signals condescension
- •Fake smiles are felt viscerally, so turn the warmth fully on or off
Project Calm Certainty
Codie says people trust leaders who seem unshakable and that certainty is contagious. She argues you should be the duck gliding above the water and should not cry in meetings, a view she acknowledges is unpopular online.
- •Certainty is contagious
- •Be the duck: calm above the surface while paddling underneath
- •Don't cry in meetings over frustration
- •Offer others a tissue and time if they cry
Name the Elephant in the Room
Leaders earn respect by voicing the uncomfortable truth no one else will. Codie lays out three levels of framing, from a question opened with "guys" to a flat, serious statement, and says to find an ally and prep before the meeting.
- •Stage one: ask it as a question starting with "guys"
- •Stage two: state it with subtle cues; the highest frame is a flat, serious statement
- •Owning a mistake yourself is the ultimate version
- •Be right and line up allies by talking before the meeting
- •Top 1% communicators prep more than everyone else
End With a Command and Ask Dangerous Questions
Always finish with a clear action, since influence without direction is just noise. Codie adds a bonus: ask sharper questions like "What's the one risk that could kill this deal?" and sometimes say "I don't know, but we can find the answer."
- •Close with what happens next, such as a decision by Friday
- •CEOs don't leave conversations open-ended
- •Safe questions like "How was your weekend?" don't provoke thought
- •Admitting "I don't know" can be authoritative
Homework: Audit Your Warmth vs. Competence
Codie suggests checking your emails for warm versus competent words to see where you lean, a tip from Vanessa. The best leaders use both like a scalpel, and she admits she is high on competence and low on warmth.
- •Warm words include cheers, collaborate, thank yous, emojis and exclamation points
- •Competent words include achieve, mastery, results, data and charts
- •Best leaders use both like a scalpel, not a sledgehammer
- •Codie says she needs to work on her warmth cues
- •The top 1% are aware of where they lean and then prepare

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