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The Curiosity Shop with Brené Brown and Adam GrantThe Curiosity Shop with Brené Brown and Adam Grant

Brené and Adam on What They Will Never Agree On

Welcome to The Curiosity Shop! In the inaugural episode, Brené and Adam discuss how a public disagreement about authenticity almost ended their relationship before it began. For the first time, they discuss where they went wrong, why they changed their minds about each other, and what they learned about repair and trust. They also explore what healthy authenticity looks like, and dive into the many things they may still never fully see eye to eye on – from email vs. texting to remote work to faith. 0:00 Introduction 8:10 Our First Disagreement 25:50 Our Path Here 34:28 How to Repair an Apology 52:59 Closing Question Unless You’re Oprah, ‘Be Yourself’ Is Terrible Advice - Adam Grant 2016 NYT Op-Ed https://www.nytimes.com/2016/06/05/opinion/sunday/unless-youre-oprah-be-yourself-is-terrible-advice.html#:~:text=But%20for%20most%20people%2C%20%E2%80%9Cbe,that%20are%20better%20left%20unspoken. The Fine Line Between Helpful and Harmful Authenticity - Adam Grant 2020 NYT https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/10/smarter-living/the-fine-line-between-helpful-and-harmful-authenticity.html Authenticity Is a Double-Edged Sword - Adam Grant 2020 WorkLife with Adam Grant Podcast https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/authenticity-is-a-double-edged-sword/id1346314086?i=1000470721542 My response to Adam Grant’s New York Times Op/ED: Unless You’re Oprah, ‘Be Yourself’ Is Terrible Advice - Brené Brown LinkedIn 2016 https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/my-response-adam-grants-new-york-times-oped-unless-youre-bren%C3%A9-brown/ The Dangers of Being Authentic - Adam Grant LinkedIn 2016 https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/dangers-being-authentic-adam-grant In Tough Times, Psychological Safety Is a Requirement, Not a Luxury - Michael Blanding 2025 HBR https://hbr.org/2025/11/in-tough-times-psychological-safety-is-a-requirement-not-a-luxury Jecker & Landy: Liking a person as a function of doing him a favour - Jecker & Landy 1969 APA PsycNet https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1970-08381-001 Adam Grant on The Power of Knowing What You Don’t Know - Brené Brown and Adam Grant 2021 Dare To Lead Podcast https://brenebrown.com/podcast/brene-with-adam-grant-on-the-power-of-knowing-what-you-dont-know/ Brené Brown on What Vulnerability Isn’t - Adam Grant and Brené Brown 2023 Re: Thinking Ted Audio Collective https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXVhDSBiZCI A Whole New Mind (Right-Brainers will Rule the Future) - Daniel H. Pink 2005 Book https://www.danpink.com/books/whole-new-mind/ The Neuroscience of You: How Every Brain Is Different and How to Understand Yours - Chantel Prat 2022 Book https://www.libraryjournal.com/review/the-neuroscience-of-you-how-every-brain-is-different-and-how-to-understand-yours-1788635 Dr. Harriet Lerner on I’m Sorry: How to Apologize and Why It Matters, Part 1 of 2 - Brené Brown and Dr. Harriet Lerner 2020 Unlocking Us Podcast https://brenebrown.com/podcast/harriet-lerner-and-brene-im-sorry-how-to-apologize-why-it-matters-part-1-of-2/ Happy Gilmore Scene - I’m Stupid You’re Smart - Happy Gilmore 1996 Movie https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=edyVNlo5uW0 Shame and Guilt - June Price Tangney 2002 Book https://www.amazon.com/Shame-Guilt-Emotions-Social-Behavior/dp/1572309873 Daniel Kahneman: Doesn't Trust Your Intuition - Adam Grant and Daniel Kahneman 2021 Re:Thinking https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/daniel-kahneman-doesnt-trust-your-intuition/id1554567118?i=1000513178386 But yes, Blue Jays are master mimics https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gmVOMEhMj8

Brené BrownhostAdam Granthost
Mar 19, 202657mWatch on YouTube ↗

CHAPTERS

  1. Welcome to The Curiosity Shop: why this pairing is a “minor miracle”

    Brené Brown and Adam Grant open the first episode by acknowledging the surprise that the show actually exists—and hinting that the road here involved real friction. They set an intention to talk about how they got here and what might make the podcast fail.

  2. Launch sponsors + the show’s everyday texture

    They quickly thank launch sponsors SAS and Canva, with Brené sharing her personal relationship to learning Canva. The segment reinforces that the show will mix research, work life, and the messiness of real conversations.

  3. The prompt: what will they never agree on?

    Adam frames their partnership as built through frequent disagreement and asks what they’ll never align on. This sets the episode’s central theme: productive tension as a feature, not a bug.

  4. Research vs. lived experience (and return-to-work as the case study)

    Brené identifies a core, enduring tension: the gap between controlled research findings and the messy reality leaders face. Adam asserts he’ll choose evidence over experience, while Brené pushes on where research stops being useful on the ground.

  5. Small disagreements that reveal bigger preferences: texting vs. email

    They pivot to a lighter but telling disagreement about communication norms. Adam argues email is organized and less intrusive; Brené argues texting is more filtered and high-signal while email is overwhelming noise.

  6. The big worldview divide: faith, proof, and openness to mystery

    Adam names a major area of likely permanent disagreement: faith. Brené embraces mystery beyond human understanding; Adam stays open to possibilities but refuses “faith” without proof, underscoring different epistemologies.

  7. Origin story: the authenticity article that blew up their relationship

    They recount their first meaningful conflict: Adam’s New York Times piece critiquing “be yourself” advice using Brené’s definition of authenticity without its surrounding context. Brené experienced it as weaponization and mansplaining, leading to a public back-and-forth and years of non-relationship.

  8. What authenticity actually means here: boundaries, empathy, and earned trust

    They clarify Brené’s view that authenticity is inseparable from boundaries and discernment—being yourself with people who’ve earned the right. Adam acknowledges he missed that nuance, and they align on the idea that “authenticity without empathy” becomes selfish.

  9. Why misuse spreads: emotionally resonant ideas get clipped, simplified, and weaponized

    Brené explains how emotionally resonant concepts become internalized and then re-transmitted through personal lenses—often detached from original meaning (e.g., misunderstandings of psychological safety). They connect this to the risks of shorthand, virality, and out-of-context interpretation.

  10. Repair begins: the COVID ask-for-help moment that reopened the door

    Adam describes reaching out during COVID for help with a women’s sports team, expecting rejection—but Brené agreed immediately. Brené explains why: asking for help builds trust, and she didn’t want to treat Adam as an avatar for her broader frustrations.

  11. A masterclass on apology: specificity, intention vs. impact, and accountability

    Brené praises Adam’s unusually rigorous approach to repair—naming impact, taking ownership, and committing to course-correct. Adam traces his skill to childhood experiences, discomfort with being wrong, and practicing explicit admissions and amends.

  12. Why people can’t apologize: shame-bound systems, honor culture, and facades of conformity

    They explore why apologizing is difficult in families and workplaces that equate it with weakness. Brené frames refusal to apologize as often driven by shame (I am bad) rather than guilt (I did something bad), connecting it to honor/shame dynamics and identity management.

  13. Complex simplicity: distilling ideas without flattening them (and the clipping problem)

    They debate how to communicate research in a fast, short-form world. Adam argues for elegant simplicity; Brené insists the job is to preserve complexity using story, metaphor, and analogy—while resisting certainty-by-clipping.

  14. Closing reflection: letting tension be organic and earned authenticity

    They wrap with a meta-discussion on how to improve the show, concluding they shouldn’t manufacture tension—just be themselves and let differences surface naturally. The episode ends with mutual recognition that authenticity is earned through trust and repair.

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