Dr. Orion Taraban: Why Apps Funnel Women To 10% Of Men

Taraban stresses that a loving, secure, peaceful relationship is as rare as a job that is high‑paying, low‑stress, and passion‑aligned. Men especially need to “make getting a relationship your job”—sending the equivalent of hundreds of ‘resumés’ via dates, approaches, and apps—rather than assuming it will happen organically. Expect rejection as a built‑in cost of the process, and compress the trial‑and‑error into months instead of years.

Most people are filtered out at the top of the funnel—no matches, no dates, no second looks. Taraban calls this a marketing problem: on apps it’s six photos and a few prompts; in person it’s a once‑over and a two‑second vibe check. Everyone can be more attractive than they currently are via grooming, clothes, fitness, and social skills. The less conventionally attractive you are, the more you must develop seduction skills to redirect attention toward your strengths.

In Taraban’s economic model, relationships form when people exchange unequal goods of comparable value. If you want more (e.g., highly attractive, high‑status, deeply emotionally available partners), you must be prepared to give more in return (e.g., status, stability, sex, emotional support). When someone struggles in the dating market it’s usually because: (a) their standards are too high for their market value, (b) their value proposition is weak, or both.

What gets someone interested rarely keeps them long‑term. Initial attraction rides on projected fantasy and minimal information; oversharing on first dates often destroys that fantasy. Long‑term success depends heavily on selection (choosing a compatible partner) and gradually revealing your real self through a “slow and gradual disappointment” rather than abrupt disillusionment. Don’t assume marketing tactics that get attention will sustain a decades‑long bond.

Porn and, for women, attention‑economy platforms like OnlyFans and Instagram act as cheap substitutes for real relationships. For men, constant sexual satisfaction via porn undermines sublimation—the channeling of libido into work, risk‑taking, and socially useful projects. Taraban notes that many porn‑addicted men remain single, underemployed, and isolated. Quitting porn means planning for the boredom, loneliness, and reward void it currently fills, then replacing those functions with real‑world goals, work, and connection.