Paul Brunson: "The 70/30 Body Shape Is Scientifically The Most Sexy" & THIS Predicts Divorce!

Brunson echoes Sheryl Sandberg and Warren Buffett in arguing that partner choice outranks career decisions for impact on happiness, health, longevity, and even earning potential. Strong partners help you flourish (the Michelangelo effect), while weak or abusive partners increase stress, disease risk, and even risk of death. Treat partner selection as a life-or-death decision, not a romantic afterthought.

Commonly cited causes of breakups—finance, cheating—are often surface-level symptoms. Underneath is poor selection (choosing incompatible or unsafe partners) and an inability to resolve conflict constructively. Brunson emphasizes that if a partner shows contempt—a sense that you’re beneath them—Gottman’s research predicts a 99% likelihood of breakup. Focus on choosing emotionally fit partners and developing conflict-resolution skills together.

Ten years of research led Brunson to conclude that entering a relationship with high life satisfaction is the strongest predictor of satisfaction within the relationship. Using Carol Ryff’s six dimensions of psychological wellbeing—personal growth, purpose/inspiration, autonomy, environmental mastery, positive relationships, and self-acceptance—he argues you should build these first. Practical steps include keeping small commitments to yourself, mastering small skills, practicing self-compassion, and cultivating friendships before prioritizing romance.

Data shows arranged marriages, on average, last longer and report higher satisfaction, despite many moral issues in some contexts. One key reason: a ‘village’ of people who love you evaluates a partner’s behavior more objectively than you can in the fog of limerence and good sex. Brunson saw similar value in his matchmaking agency by interviewing friends, family, and colleagues to reveal the client’s real values and patterns. In modern dating, seriously listen when multiple friends independently say, “This isn’t the one”—they’re usually right.

Brunson dismantles common checklists (height, income, race, looks) and shows, via a live example with a friend’s criteria, how they can yield a <0.05% match rate. Instead, he identifies five fundamentals to seek: emotional fitness (especially low neuroticism), courageous vision (life purpose), resilient resourcefulness (bounce-back after setbacks), open-minded curiosity, and compassionate support. Physical attraction and shared goals still matter, but without these fundamentals, status and looks won’t protect you from misery.