The Diary of a CEOThe Better-Sex Doctor: The Link Between Masturbating & Prostate Cancer! Dr Rena Malik
At a glance
WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT
Sex Myths Shattered: Prostate Cancer, Porn, Pleasure And Pelvic Floors
- Urologist and sexual‑health expert Dr. Rena Malik explains why sexual health is fundamental to overall health, debunking myths about frequency of sex, masturbation, porn, penis and vagina size, and pain during sex.
- She details how pelvic floor function underpins erections, orgasms, continence, and pain, and why modern lifestyles (sitting, stress, poor sleep, plastics, extreme endurance sports) are undermining hormones, fertility, and sexual function.
- The conversation highlights mismatched expectations created by porn and media, the orgasm and desire gap between men and women, and the crucial role of communication and education in restoring intimacy.
- Malik also discusses evidence that frequent ejaculation is linked to lower prostate‑cancer risk, clarifies the limits of ‘semen retention’ and No Nut November, and emphasizes that sexual health should be treated as routine healthcare, not taboo.
IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING
5 ideasSexual health is health—and doctors routinely ignore it.
Malik stresses that sexual function affects mental health, relationships, productivity, and can signal serious disease (e.g., erectile dysfunction often precedes heart disease by years). Yet most clinicians rarely ask about orgasms, pleasure, or satisfaction—especially in women. Patients internalize problems as shame or ‘brokenness’ instead of treatable health issues.
Frequent ejaculation is linked to lower prostate cancer risk.
A large study found men who ejaculated 21+ times per month had a lower incidence of prostate cancer. The leading hypothesis is the ‘prostate stagnation’ theory: regularly ‘flushing’ prostatic fluid may reduce harmful buildup. Malik cautions that 21 is a statistical cut‑point, not a prescription, and frequent ejaculation may also simply mark generally healthier men.
Masturbation is generally safe; problems arise when it becomes compulsive or rigid.
There is no strong evidence that masturbation lowers testosterone or harms health. Over‑restriction (e.g., No Nut November) can create guilt, pelvic tension, and distress, especially when nocturnal emissions occur. It becomes problematic when it displaces sex with a partner, work, sleep, or when a person can only climax in one very specific, porn‑dependent way that doesn’t translate to partnered sex.
Pelvic floor health is central to erections, continence, and sexual pleasure—for men and women.
The pelvic floor is a bowl of muscles supporting the bladder, rectum, vagina/uterus, and urethra. Weakness can cause leakage, prolapse, reduced ejaculatory force; excess tension or discoordination can cause urinary urgency, constipation, genital pain, and painful erections/ejaculation. Prolonged sitting (e.g., during COVID) and back/hip injuries can worsen dysfunction. Targeted pelvic floor physio and correctly performed Kegels can improve symptoms and even increase ejaculatory force.
Media and porn have radically distorted expectations about sex, desire, and orgasms.
Porn is entertainment, not education. It over‑represents instant erections, immediate penetrative orgasms, large penises, tiny labia, and long, performative encounters. Reality: most couples have sex about once a week, penetration to male climax averages ~5–6 minutes, women typically need ~14 minutes to orgasm and 18–20 minutes of arousal for the vagina to lengthen and lubricate. About 85% of women need clitoral stimulation to climax; first‑time encounters with men produce orgasms in only ~45% of women, versus ~95% in women‑who‑have‑sex‑with‑women.
WORDS WORTH SAVING
5 quotesSexual health is health. We need to stop treating it like something separate or shameful.
— Dr. Rena Malik
Men who ejaculated 21 times or more a month were less likely to develop prostate cancer.
— Dr. Rena Malik
If you have a toxic partner at home, it’s not going to work. You don’t get to be a successful, well‑adjusted person without either being happy alone or having an excellent partner.
— Dr. Rena Malik
Most couples are having sex about once a week. It’s not the quantity that matters, it’s the quality.
— Dr. Rena Malik
Your body will take care of the ejaculate whether you ejaculate or not. You’ll either reabsorb it or you’ll have a wet dream.
— Dr. Rena Malik
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