The Diary of a CEOThe No.1 Celebrity Therapist: The WEIRD Trick To Get Your Sex Life Back! - Marisa Peer
At a glance
WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT
Celebrity Therapist Reveals Belief Hacks To Transform Sex, Love, Food, Life
- Marisa Peer explains how almost all emotional and behavioral problems stem from just three core beliefs: feeling different and unable to connect, believing what you want isn’t available, and feeling not enough. She shows how deliberately “lying” to your mind with better words, repetition, and vivid imagery can rewire these beliefs and produce real physical and emotional changes—from stronger erections to passing exams to losing sugar cravings.
- A major focus is on sex and relationships: why long‑term couples lose desire, how fantasy bridges intimacy and eroticism, why calling your partner “mum” or “dad” kills attraction, and how self‑esteem and perceived value drive our dating lives. Steven shares personal stories of commitment fears, feeling unlovable as a child, rejection in his twenties, and a powerful live hypnosis session to end his sugar addiction.
- Peer emphasizes that your mind’s job is to make your thoughts real, not to judge their truth; therefore, your job is to choose, update, and upgrade your beliefs constantly. She argues that repeating statements like “I am enough” and “I love being organized” can materially change identity, behavior, and even body responses when paired with emotional engagement and hypnotic techniques.
IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING
5 ideasYou must consciously choose and update your beliefs, because your mind will make any repeated thought feel true.
Peer explains that beliefs are just thoughts you think a lot; through confirmation bias you then find evidence to support them. If you repeatedly tell yourself, “I’m bad at exams,” “relationships are prison,” or “cats are vicious,” your subconscious will generate matching feelings and behaviors. Action: regularly question each strong belief—where did it come from, who gave it to you, is it still true, and does it have to be true for you now?
Deliberately ‘lie’ to your mind with better narratives to shift performance and anxiety.
Rather than rehearsing fear (e.g., “I’ll fail this exam,” “I can’t get an erection”), Peer suggests you “lie, cheat and steal” daily: lie to your mind (“I’m calm and brilliant at exams”), cheat fear, and steal back your innate confidence. The subconscious doesn’t rationally evaluate truth—it feels and then acts. Rehearsing empowered scripts repeatedly calms fear responses and prevents the brain shutdown that happens under anxiety, improving real‑world performance.
Thoughts create direct physical changes; use vivid mental rehearsal to your advantage.
Demonstrations like the ‘lemon’ saliva exercise and the arm‑rotation going further after mental suggestion show how imagination can trigger bodily responses with no external change. She applies the same principle to sexual function (erections, orgasmic response) and pain modulation (needles hurting less when attention is shifted or confused). Action: before stressful or performance situations, mentally rehearse the exact physical state and outcome you want, in sensory detail.
Long‑term desire needs mystery and fantasy, not just intimacy and comfort.
Peer distinguishes between intimacy (safety, familiarity, acceptance) and eroticism (mystery, suspense, edginess). Over time, routines, predictability, and parental dynamics (“mum/dad” roles, nagging, over‑caretaking or controlling) erode erotic charge. Fantasy—role‑play, new contexts like hotels, temporary ‘stranger’ scenarios—acts as the bridge that reconnects eroticism with a loving relationship. Action: intentionally introduce novelty, play, and fantasy rather than assuming love alone sustains desire.
Avoid turning your partner into a parent figure if you want to keep sexual attraction alive.
Calling each other “mum/mommy” or “dad/daddy,” or adopting critical/controlling parental tones (“Have you taken your vitamins?”, “Wear a coat”, “You’re not having that”) shifts the relational dynamic into parent–child. Peer argues that once your partner becomes ‘mum’ or ‘dad’ in your nervous system, sexual desire almost inevitably collapses, because sex with a parent archetype feels repulsive. Action: stay conscious of your language and tone; talk as lovers and equals, not as parents and children.
WORDS WORTH SAVING
5 quotesYou make your beliefs, and then your beliefs turn right around and make you.
— Marisa Peer
Lie to your mind, cheat fear, and steal back the confidence you were born with.
— Marisa Peer
Every thought you think is a blueprint that your mind and body work to make real.
— Marisa Peer
Comparisonism is the thief of joy.
— Marisa Peer
If you’re looking for self‑esteem anywhere outside of yourself, you’re not going to find it.
— Marisa Peer
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