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The No.1 Celebrity Therapist: The WEIRD Trick To Get Your Sex Life Back! - Marisa Peer

If you are fascinated with learning about the human mind, we recommend you watch this video with Gabor Mate next: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPup-1pDepY 00:00 Intro 02:05 🙌 You can choose and change your beliefs to shape your reality. 03:01 🧠Question your beliefs and where they came from. Don't be afraid to lie to yourself if it's for your own good. Tell yourself you're going to do well, and you will. Your mind's job is to make your thoughts real. You can trick your mind into not feeling pain. 06:35 🧘🏼‍♀️You can trick your mind into not feeling pain. 07:17 🔁The mind learns by repetition. 11:08 Your brain has the power to change your sex life. 37:04 💡 How to know if you're avoiding something because of trauma or if it's not right for you 37:19 👩‍❤️‍👩 How to pick your battles in a relationship: Focus on meeting your must-have needs and be willing to compromise on the rest. 39:26 💡 How to deal with perfectionism in relationships: Remember that there is no such thing as a perfect partner. Everyone has flaws. Focus on finding someone who loves and accepts you for who you are. 41:32 💃🏼 How to attract the right kind of people: Be yourself and be genuine. People are attracted to those who are authentic. Be realistic about dating apps: Dating apps can be a great way to meet new people, but it's important to be realistic about what to expect. 45:44 💡 Don't be needy: The most attractive people are those who are happy and fulfilled with their own lives. Don't come across as needy or desperate for a partner. 47:07 🪞 Reflect on your behavior: If you've been unsuccessful in relationships, take some time to reflect on your own behavior. Are there any patterns that you can identify? Once you understand your own patterns, you can start to make changes. I hope these takeaways are helpful! 49:13 💡 The secret to finding love is to be happy with yourself. Focus on developing a strong sense of self-worth and confidence, and love will follow. 50:50 🧲 Confidence is attractive: People with a strong sense of self are very attractive to others. People can sense that you believe in yourself and that you're comfortable in your own skin, and they're drawn to that. 52:57 💡 Self-esteem comes from within: You can't find self-esteem outside of yourself. It's something that you have to develop from within. This means telling yourself positive things about yourself and believing in your own worth. 58:52 💡 Negative thoughts: Talk yourself out of it, not into it: This means telling yourself that your thoughts are wrong and that you deserve better. 59:59 💡 Understand the root of your cravings: Once you understand the root of your cravings, you can start to develop strategies for dealing with them in a healthy way. 01:02:48 💡 Choose to love it: If you want to make healthy choices, it's important to choose to love making those choices. This means accepting that you may have to give up some things that you enjoy, but knowing that it's worth it in the long run. 01:03:15 🧠 You're looking for the feeling, not the thing: When you crave something, it's often not the thing itself that you're craving, but the feeling that it represents. 01:05:19 💡 Review your memories with insight and understanding: If you have negative memories from your childhood, it can be helpful to review them with insight and understanding. This means looking at the memories from a new perspective and trying to understand why they were so painful. 01:07:10 🪞 Tell yourself that you're not that person with cravings anymore. The best way to deal with temptation is to become indifferent to it. 01:12:28 🧠 Hypnosis can help you change your relationship with food: Hypnosis can help you to change your relationship with food and to overcome cravings. It can help you to understand the root of your cravings and to develop new, healthier relationships with food. 01:18:35 Last guest’s question You can purchase Marisa’s most recent book, ‘Tell Yourself a Better Lie’, here: https://amzn.to/40BxpVB Follow Marisa: Instagram: https://bit.ly/3PkbAEJ Youtube: https://bit.ly/48h1L3h FULL CLIP (Steve gets hypnotised): https://youtu.be/rjaGOD03vK8 My new book! 'The 33 Laws Of Business & Life' is out now: https://smarturl.it/DOACbook Join this channel to get access to perks: https://bit.ly/3Dpmgx5 Follow me: Instagram: http://bit.ly/3nIkGAZ Twitter: http://bit.ly/3ztHuHm Linkedin: https://bit.ly/41Fl95Q Telegram: http://bit.ly/3nJYxST Sponsors: Eight sleep: https://www.eightsleep.com/uk/steven/ CODE: STEVEN (save $150 on the Pod Cover) Huel: https://g2ul0.app.link/G4RjcdKNKsbo Whoop: http://bit.ly/3MbapaY

Marisa PeerguestSteven Bartletthost
Sep 17, 20231h 22mWatch on YouTube ↗

At a glance

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Celebrity Therapist Reveals Belief Hacks To Transform Sex, Love, Food, Life

  1. Marisa Peer explains how almost all emotional and behavioral problems stem from just three core beliefs: feeling different and unable to connect, believing what you want isn’t available, and feeling not enough. She shows how deliberately “lying” to your mind with better words, repetition, and vivid imagery can rewire these beliefs and produce real physical and emotional changes—from stronger erections to passing exams to losing sugar cravings.
  2. A major focus is on sex and relationships: why long‑term couples lose desire, how fantasy bridges intimacy and eroticism, why calling your partner “mum” or “dad” kills attraction, and how self‑esteem and perceived value drive our dating lives. Steven shares personal stories of commitment fears, feeling unlovable as a child, rejection in his twenties, and a powerful live hypnosis session to end his sugar addiction.
  3. Peer emphasizes that your mind’s job is to make your thoughts real, not to judge their truth; therefore, your job is to choose, update, and upgrade your beliefs constantly. She argues that repeating statements like “I am enough” and “I love being organized” can materially change identity, behavior, and even body responses when paired with emotional engagement and hypnotic techniques.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

You must consciously choose and update your beliefs, because your mind will make any repeated thought feel true.

Peer explains that beliefs are just thoughts you think a lot; through confirmation bias you then find evidence to support them. If you repeatedly tell yourself, “I’m bad at exams,” “relationships are prison,” or “cats are vicious,” your subconscious will generate matching feelings and behaviors. Action: regularly question each strong belief—where did it come from, who gave it to you, is it still true, and does it have to be true for you now?

Deliberately ‘lie’ to your mind with better narratives to shift performance and anxiety.

Rather than rehearsing fear (e.g., “I’ll fail this exam,” “I can’t get an erection”), Peer suggests you “lie, cheat and steal” daily: lie to your mind (“I’m calm and brilliant at exams”), cheat fear, and steal back your innate confidence. The subconscious doesn’t rationally evaluate truth—it feels and then acts. Rehearsing empowered scripts repeatedly calms fear responses and prevents the brain shutdown that happens under anxiety, improving real‑world performance.

Thoughts create direct physical changes; use vivid mental rehearsal to your advantage.

Demonstrations like the ‘lemon’ saliva exercise and the arm‑rotation going further after mental suggestion show how imagination can trigger bodily responses with no external change. She applies the same principle to sexual function (erections, orgasmic response) and pain modulation (needles hurting less when attention is shifted or confused). Action: before stressful or performance situations, mentally rehearse the exact physical state and outcome you want, in sensory detail.

Long‑term desire needs mystery and fantasy, not just intimacy and comfort.

Peer distinguishes between intimacy (safety, familiarity, acceptance) and eroticism (mystery, suspense, edginess). Over time, routines, predictability, and parental dynamics (“mum/dad” roles, nagging, over‑caretaking or controlling) erode erotic charge. Fantasy—role‑play, new contexts like hotels, temporary ‘stranger’ scenarios—acts as the bridge that reconnects eroticism with a loving relationship. Action: intentionally introduce novelty, play, and fantasy rather than assuming love alone sustains desire.

Avoid turning your partner into a parent figure if you want to keep sexual attraction alive.

Calling each other “mum/mommy” or “dad/daddy,” or adopting critical/controlling parental tones (“Have you taken your vitamins?”, “Wear a coat”, “You’re not having that”) shifts the relational dynamic into parent–child. Peer argues that once your partner becomes ‘mum’ or ‘dad’ in your nervous system, sexual desire almost inevitably collapses, because sex with a parent archetype feels repulsive. Action: stay conscious of your language and tone; talk as lovers and equals, not as parents and children.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

You make your beliefs, and then your beliefs turn right around and make you.

Marisa Peer

Lie to your mind, cheat fear, and steal back the confidence you were born with.

Marisa Peer

Every thought you think is a blueprint that your mind and body work to make real.

Marisa Peer

Comparisonism is the thief of joy.

Marisa Peer

If you’re looking for self‑esteem anywhere outside of yourself, you’re not going to find it.

Marisa Peer

How beliefs are formed, maintained, and changed in the mindThe relationship between thoughts, physical reactions, and behaviorSex, desire, and eroticism in long‑term relationshipsSelf‑esteem, perceived value, and modern dating dynamicsChildhood experiences, shame, and adult identity patternsHypnosis as a tool to reprogram cravings and fearsThe core limiting beliefs: being different, deprived, and not enough

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