The Diary of a CEO

The No.1 Celebrity Therapist: The WEIRD Trick To Get Your Sex Life Back! - Marisa Peer

If you are fascinated with learning about the human mind, we recommend you watch this video with Gabor Mate next: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPup-1pDepY 00:00 Intro 02:05 🙌 You can choose and change your beliefs to shape your reality. 03:01 🧠Question your beliefs and where they came from. Don't be afraid to lie to yourself if it's for your own good. Tell yourself you're going to do well, and you will. Your mind's job is to make your thoughts real. You can trick your mind into not feeling pain. 06:35 🧘🏼‍♀️You can trick your mind into not feeling pain. 07:17 🔁The mind learns by repetition. 11:08 Your brain has the power to change your sex life. 37:04 💡 How to know if you're avoiding something because of trauma or if it's not right for you 37:19 👩‍❤️‍👩 How to pick your battles in a relationship: Focus on meeting your must-have needs and be willing to compromise on the rest. 39:26 💡 How to deal with perfectionism in relationships: Remember that there is no such thing as a perfect partner. Everyone has flaws. Focus on finding someone who loves and accepts you for who you are. 41:32 💃🏼 How to attract the right kind of people: Be yourself and be genuine. People are attracted to those who are authentic. Be realistic about dating apps: Dating apps can be a great way to meet new people, but it's important to be realistic about what to expect. 45:44 💡 Don't be needy: The most attractive people are those who are happy and fulfilled with their own lives. Don't come across as needy or desperate for a partner. 47:07 🪞 Reflect on your behavior: If you've been unsuccessful in relationships, take some time to reflect on your own behavior. Are there any patterns that you can identify? Once you understand your own patterns, you can start to make changes. I hope these takeaways are helpful! 49:13 💡 The secret to finding love is to be happy with yourself. Focus on developing a strong sense of self-worth and confidence, and love will follow. 50:50 🧲 Confidence is attractive: People with a strong sense of self are very attractive to others. People can sense that you believe in yourself and that you're comfortable in your own skin, and they're drawn to that. 52:57 💡 Self-esteem comes from within: You can't find self-esteem outside of yourself. It's something that you have to develop from within. This means telling yourself positive things about yourself and believing in your own worth. 58:52 💡 Negative thoughts: Talk yourself out of it, not into it: This means telling yourself that your thoughts are wrong and that you deserve better. 59:59 💡 Understand the root of your cravings: Once you understand the root of your cravings, you can start to develop strategies for dealing with them in a healthy way. 01:02:48 💡 Choose to love it: If you want to make healthy choices, it's important to choose to love making those choices. This means accepting that you may have to give up some things that you enjoy, but knowing that it's worth it in the long run. 01:03:15 🧠 You're looking for the feeling, not the thing: When you crave something, it's often not the thing itself that you're craving, but the feeling that it represents. 01:05:19 💡 Review your memories with insight and understanding: If you have negative memories from your childhood, it can be helpful to review them with insight and understanding. This means looking at the memories from a new perspective and trying to understand why they were so painful. 01:07:10 🪞 Tell yourself that you're not that person with cravings anymore. The best way to deal with temptation is to become indifferent to it. 01:12:28 🧠 Hypnosis can help you change your relationship with food: Hypnosis can help you to change your relationship with food and to overcome cravings. It can help you to understand the root of your cravings and to develop new, healthier relationships with food. 01:18:35 Last guest’s question You can purchase Marisa’s most recent book, ‘Tell Yourself a Better Lie’, here: https://amzn.to/40BxpVB Follow Marisa: Instagram: https://bit.ly/3PkbAEJ Youtube: https://bit.ly/48h1L3h FULL CLIP (Steve gets hypnotised): https://youtu.be/rjaGOD03vK8 My new book! 'The 33 Laws Of Business & Life' is out now: https://smarturl.it/DOACbook Join this channel to get access to perks: https://bit.ly/3Dpmgx5 Follow me: Instagram: http://bit.ly/3nIkGAZ Twitter: http://bit.ly/3ztHuHm Linkedin: https://bit.ly/41Fl95Q Telegram: http://bit.ly/3nJYxST Sponsors: Eight sleep: https://www.eightsleep.com/uk/steven/ CODE: STEVEN (save $150 on the Pod Cover) Huel: https://g2ul0.app.link/G4RjcdKNKsbo Whoop: http://bit.ly/3MbapaY

MPMarisa PeerguestSBSteven Bartletthost

Sep 18, 2023·1h 22m·Watch on YouTube ↗

📖 CHAPTERS

1. 1
   2:00 – 4:40

   Beliefs 101: Why Your Thoughts Become Your Reality

   Marisa Peer lays out her core model of how beliefs are formed and why they govern behavior and outcomes. She introduces confirmation bias, the power of deliberate belief‑choosing, and the idea that your mind’s job is to make your thoughts real rather than to test their truth.

2. 2
   4:40 – 13:40

   ‘Lying’ To Your Mind: Rewiring Performance and Anxiety

   Peer explains why she endorses ‘lying’ to yourself in a specific way, using exams and fear stories to demonstrate how different inner scripts change outcomes. She emphasizes repetition, physiological effects of thoughts, and the importance of framing experiences constructively.

3. 3
   13:40 – 25:00

   Demonstrations: Lemon, Flexible Arm, and The Thought–Body Link

   Through guided imagery of eating a lemon and extending Steven’s arm further with suggestion, Peer shows how the mind triggers real physical responses from imagined experiences. She then applies this principle to sexual function and other psychosomatic issues.

4. 4
   25:00 – 34:10

   Sex, Porn, and The Pressure That Kills Desire

   The conversation shifts to sex, porn, and dysfunction. Peer discusses how unrealistic porn standards and body scrutiny create anxiety and inhibit arousal, and why many men and women struggle with libido and orgasm in today’s comparison‑driven culture.

5. 5
   34:10 – 43:20

   Intimacy vs. Eroticism: Why Long‑Term Couples Stop Having Sex

   Peer unpacks the difference between intimacy (closeness, trust) and eroticism (mystery, edge) and explains why they often conflict in long‑term relationships. She offers practical strategies using fantasy, novelty, and role‑play to revive desire even after many years together.

6. 6
   43:20 – 50:50

   How Parenting Dynamics and ‘Mum/Dad’ Roles Kill Attraction

   Peer highlights how couples accidentally shift into parent–child dynamics, ruining sexual polarity. She explains how nagging, over‑caretaking, or controlling and literally calling each other “mum” or “dad” trains the brain to see a parental figure instead of a lover.

7. 7
   50:50 – 58:20

   Sexless Relationships, Temptation, and The Body Expressing What You Can’t Say

   Steven raises a friend’s sexless relationship and constant temptation toward others. Peer interprets this as the body expressing unspoken reluctance to settle down, illustrating her broader idea that unexpressed feelings manifest as symptoms when we can’t voice them.

8. 8
   58:20 – 1:05:50

   Steven’s Commitment Fears: When Relationships Feel Like Prison

   Steven shares his history of pursuing women but panicking when commitment became real, describing relationships as feeling like prison. Peer decodes this as his mind faithfully enacting the belief that commitment equals entrapment, causing self‑sabotage.

9. 9
   1:05:50 – 1:15:00

   Dating Rejection, Success, and The Invisibility of Self‑Worth Signals

   The episode moves through Steven’s 20–30s arc: heavy rejection despite theory knowledge, then ease once he became professionally successful. Peer uses this to show how self‑belief radiates through countless micro‑signals that others subconsciously detect.

10. 10
    1:15:00 – 1:26:40

    The Three Core Wounds: Different, Deprived, and Not Enough

    Peer introduces her framework from training thousands of therapists: nearly all clients’ issues reduce to three core beliefs. Steven’s childhood as a Black boy in a white area, ashamed of his house, is used as an example of how these wounds form.

11. 11
    1:26:40 – 1:35:50

    Modern Dating, Apps, and The Scarcity of Self‑Worth

    Using the story of a 30‑something woman searching for love in a bookshop, Peer analyzes why many high‑performing singles feel defective and burnt out by apps. She outlines a more empowered, strategic way to ‘look for love’.

12. 12
    1:35:50 – 1:46:40

    Self‑Esteem as the Core Life Skill (and Parenting’s Real Job)

    Peer argues that self‑esteem is the foundation of success in love, work, and wellbeing. She insists schools and parents should prioritize building self‑worth over academic or extracurricular achievement, and clarifies that self‑esteem cannot be sourced externally.

13. 13
    1:46:40 – 1:57:30

    Dietless Life: Sugar, Childhood Deprivation, and Hypnotic Rewiring

    The focus turns to food and sugar. Steven describes periodic sugar binges despite disciplined training and quitting alcohol. Peer links this to childhood scarcity and stealing sweets, then takes him through a live hypnosis session to detach the emotional charge from sugar.

14. 14
    1:57:30 – 2:00:00

    Hypnosis Explained: Accessing Feelings Logic Can’t Reach

    After the hypnosis, Steven describes losing track of time and uncovering forgotten memories. Peer explains what happens in trance: the critical conscious mind quiets, allowing direct communication with the feeling‑based subconscious.

15. 15
    2:00:00

    Final Message: ‘I Am Enough’ and The Movement to Normalize It

    In closing, Peer answers the prior guest’s question about the single most transformative belief. She shares her ‘I Am Enough’ movement and its impact in schools, positioning this simple phrase as a universal antidote to the three core wounds.