Gloria Steinem on Raising the Next Generation | Dr. Becky & Gloria Steinem in Conversation

Steinem argues that masculinity is treated as “superior,” so parents often encourage girls to adopt “masculine” traits (ambition, adventure) but resist encouraging boys toward traits coded as “feminine” (tenderness, caregiving). The cost is twofold: boys lose access to full humanity, and girls are blocked from leadership-coded qualities.

Both speakers emphasize that boys still feel sadness and vulnerability even when discouraged from showing it; repression doesn’t erase emotion, it displaces it. Normalizing crying and naming feelings gives boys the tools to manage emotions rather than leak them sideways as aggression or shutdown.

Steinem suggests moms don’t need to pretend they’re fully self-confident to raise confident daughters; instead, they can narrate their own generational conditioning and share real stories. Openness becomes a bridge that helps girls resist pressure to shrink, hide tears, or doubt themselves.

When Dr. Becky asks how Steinem learned self-trust, Steinem cites “trial and error” plus formative family dynamics: caregiving for an unwell mother and an adventurous father who treated her like a peer. The larger implication is that competence, responsibility, and being taken seriously in everyday moments grows internal trust.

Steinem’s childhood “quarter” story highlights a parent respecting a child’s autonomy—giving without demanding justification. The moment signals: you can have something for yourself, and your inner life is valid even when it’s private.