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Good Inside with Dr. Becky“I’m Bored!” What Parents Should Do Instead of Entertaining Their Kids | Dr. Becky Lizzie Assa
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At a glance
WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT
Reframing kids’ boredom to build independence, play, and resilience skills
- Boredom is reframed as a positive signal that a parent has protected downtime from constant stimulation and overscheduling.
- Parents’ impulse to fix boredom (by offering activities, screens, or chores-as-punishment) often reinforces dependence and fuels parental exhaustion and resentment.
- Independent play is presented as a long-term life-skill builder, strengthening autonomy, initiative, decision-making, and resilience that later shows up in school, college, and work.
- The recommended parent role is to create a supportive environment—removing barriers to getting started and offering light scaffolding—without taking over the play or “delivering fun.”
- Connection is emphasized: “I’m bored” is often a bid for closeness, and reconnecting afterward (noticing and reflecting on what the child did) reinforces confidence and intrinsic motivation.
IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING
5 ideasTreat “I’m bored” as evidence you’re doing something right.
They argue boredom often means you’ve successfully protected unstructured time from constant enrichment and dopamine-heavy inputs, giving kids space to generate their own ideas.
Your job is not to solve boredom; it’s to make boredom feel safe.
When parents stay anchored instead of panicking, kids learn they can tolerate discomfort and move from “nothing to do” into self-directed activity.
Build “play pockets,” not Pinterest-perfect activities.
Rather than setting up elaborate crafts that burn parents out and last two minutes, stock simple, accessible materials tied to the child’s interests (books, figures, paper, blocks) and keep them easy to reach.
Scaffold with “wonder,” reflection, and memory—don’t take over.
Use prompts like “I wonder why that fell” or “What did you do last time you were bored?” to guide thinking while leaving the problem-solving and decision-making to the child.
Assume pushback is part of the transition away from screens/entertainment.
Kids will predictably prefer the easiest dopamine option (like an iPad) and may whine; that reaction isn’t failure, it’s practice and adjustment to a new family rhythm.
WORDS WORTH SAVING
5 quoteswhen we reserve that space for boredom, and we, as the adult, feel anchored and okay with boredom, it lets our kids feel safe in boredom.
— Lizzie Assa
I really think about leaving space for boredom as that's the thing that is giving my child the opportunity and the leg up.
— Lizzie Assa
Or do I need to now be the originator of ideas for my kid? A- and by the way, it's probably one of the reasons we go to bed so exhausted and resentful of our parenting, 'cause, like, w- we have almost outsourced our kids' creative abilities to being our responsibility.
— Dr. Becky
It's not our job to create the magic of play. That belongs to them.
— Lizzie Assa
I really like to think of, you know, "I'm bored, I don't know what to do" more as a bid for connection- ... and less as give me something to do.
— Lizzie Assa
SPEAKERS
Dr. Becky
hostClinical psychologist and founder/host of the Good Inside parenting platform and podcast.
Lizzie Assa
guestParenting author and researcher who wrote a book on the benefits of boredom and independent play for kids.
High quality AI-generated summary created from speaker-labeled transcript.
