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Talking With Your Kids About Private Parts, How Babies Are Made, and More…

There's no "appropriate age" to start talking about sensitive topics, like sex or private parts, with kids. When a child asks a question, it means they're ready for a (developmentally appropriate) answer. Of course, while many of us want to talk openly with our kids, few of us had honest conversations about these topics when we were younger. It's normal to feel stuck or awkward! In this episode, Dr. Becky walks through multiple scripts for affirming your child's natural curiosity about bodies, babies, and more without any shame, so they feel safe coming to you with all sorts of questions as they get older. Remember this: It's not our honesty, but our avoidance, that makes kids uncomfortable about their bodies. Join Good Inside Membership: http://www.goodinside.com Follow Dr. Becky on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinside Sign up for our weekly email, Good Insider: https://www.goodinside.com/newsletter Want More? Check these out: Body Confidence Isn’t About Appearance - https://youtu.be/VZn3bc2BjJs How to Talk About Death With Your Kids - https://youtu.be/sqdo27uFrbg Why Won't My Kids Listen To Anything I Say? - https://youtu.be/Rb7FSL1y3Oo Deeply Feeling Kids Need a Different Approach - https://youtu.be/WQNM5EyDtKE Motherhood Doesn’t Have to Be Martyrdom - https://youtu.be/ywJMtRHzqFY

Dr. Becky Kennedyhost
May 6, 202228mWatch on YouTube ↗

At a glance

WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT

Practical scripts for body talk: privacy, self-touch, and babies’ origins

  1. Start conversations early and honestly—kids are often ready for truthful, developmentally appropriate information sooner than parents expect.
  2. Use anatomically correct terms (e.g., penis, vulva, vagina, uterus, sperm, egg) to reduce shame, confusion, and secrecy.
  3. Prioritize relational safety over perfect wording by validating questions (“Great question”) and signaling openness so kids keep coming back.
  4. Reframe childhood genital touching as normal “sensual” self-comfort/curiosity (not “sexual”), while teaching clear context rules about public vs. private behavior.
  5. Answer “how babies get in the belly” with straightforward anatomy (sex, penis in vagina, sperm meets egg, embryo in uterus), including inclusive notes on different family-building paths.

IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING

5 ideas

Avoidance—not honesty—often creates kids’ discomfort.

Kennedy argues that sidestepping body/sex topics teaches kids these subjects are taboo; calm, truthful answers make curiosity feel safe and normal.

Use real anatomy words to reduce shame and increase clarity.

Replacing “penis/vulva/vagina” with euphemisms signals adult discomfort and can confuse children; accurate terms support body literacy and safety.

Focus on making questions welcome, not delivering a perfect script.

Young kids won’t remember exact phrasing as much as the felt sense that a parent is approachable for “tricky topics,” which matters later for consent, dating, and safety.

Buy time transparently—and always follow up.

Saying “I want to think and get back to you” models thoughtfulness, but failing to return can teach kids their question was “too much” and promote secrecy.

Teach ‘what feels good’ vs. ‘where it belongs’ without shaming.

Frame genital touching as one of many comforting sensations, then set a simple boundary: some touch is private/solo; caregivers will offer reminders and redirect gently.

WORDS WORTH SAVING

5 quotes

Like in so many other areas, it's not our honesty, but actually our avoidance that makes kids feel uncomfortable.

— Dr. Becky Kennedy

When we use different words, when we use words that don't actually describe the real body part, we create some confusion for our kids, and we teach our kids that we are uncomfortable with this body part, and they absorb that discomfort into their own bodies, right?

— Dr. Becky Kennedy

Exactly what we say back to our kids is actually less important than establishing with our kids that we can talk about bodies, and we can talk about the things that so many of us never talked about with our parents.

— Dr. Becky Kennedy

I always think better than the question, is this normal, is the question, what's going on for my child, and what does my child need?

— Dr. Becky Kennedy

I always believe that when a kid asks a question, they're ready for a developmentally appropriate answer.

— Dr. Becky Kennedy

Starting age for sex/body conversationsParental discomfort and how to name itAnatomically correct languageWhy “private parts” are privatePublic vs. private body behavior boundariesChildhood self-touch: normalizing without shamingExplaining conception and inclusive family-building

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