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Jay Shetty Podcast

ALICIA KEYS Reveals 5 Daily Rituals To Calm Your Nervous System

16-time Grammy winner Alicia Keys opens up to Jay Shetty about the daily rituals that keep her grounded amidst chaos. She reveals her powerful morning practices, including the self-talk habit that changed everything.

Alicia KeysguestJay Shettyhost

Nov 11, 20241h 32mWatch on YouTube

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Chapter summaries

Alicia Keys joins: success highlights and her immediate discomfort with accolades
Jay Shetty introduces Alicia Keys and lists major achievements, prompting her to reflect on how surreal it feels to hear them out loud. She shares how a protective part of her still reacts as if the success couldn’t possibly be real.
- •Jay Shetty introduces Alicia Keys and her range of roles and accomplishments
- •Alicia Keys says hearing the list feels “weird” and surreal
- •She describes a lingering instinct to protect herself from what could go wrong
- •The conversation frames the episode around growth, healing, and inner work
What she’d tell her younger self: doubt as self-preservation
Asked how younger Alicia would respond to her life today, she says she would have called it a lie. She explains how people often doubt their own possibilities as a form of self-protection, and how change began when she stopped reinforcing those doubts.
- •Alicia Keys says her younger self would respond: “you lying”
- •She recalls dreams and visions as a kid, alongside uncertainty about what’s possible
- •She links doubt to self-preservation and protection
- •She notes that things shifted when she stopped repeating self-limiting narratives
Early fears: rejection, scarcity, and guarding against hurt
Alicia details the anxieties that shaped her—fear of being hurt by loved ones, fear of not having enough, and fear of rejection. She also explains how public life intensified the pressure to be liked, and how she learned to build stability from her own intuition.
- •Fear of being hurt by people she loved
- •Worry about scarcity and not holding onto what she gains
- •Struggles with rejection and the need to be accepted, especially as a public figure
- •Realizing she can’t please everyone and must stand on what she believes
From doubt to curiosity: patience, small steps, and rewriting inner talk
Alicia describes mindset shifts that helped her move through anxiety: accepting that timing rarely matches expectations and focusing on steady progress. She shares a marathon story about targeting small markers, then connects it to replacing negative self-talk and using affirmations to reclaim her internal voice.
- •Learning that results don’t arrive on the timeline you expect
- •Marathon lesson: focus on the next small marker (pole, light, tree)
- •Progress comes from small, determined moments
- •Replacing negative talk by consciously telling herself the opposite
- •Affirmations as a way to remove inherited doubts from parents and peers
Everyday affirmations and ‘Speak to me nice’: ending self-cruelty
Jay asks about her affirmation for the day, and Alicia answers with practical ones tied to parenting and self-forgiveness. She expands into a broader practice of speaking to herself kindly, influenced by what she teaches her son about not being harsh on himself.
- •Today’s affirmations: being on time and forgiving herself
- •She emphasizes grace and restarting without self-punishment
- •She shares her ‘Piece of Peace’ theme: “Speak to me nice”
- •She notes we often tolerate harsher self-talk than we’d accept from others
- •She reflects on ‘spinning out’ sometimes to learn what’s really triggering her
Skin anxiety, stress in the body, and the birth of ‘soul care’
Alicia explains how long-term skin struggles created anxiety, especially while entering the music industry under intense stress. She connects physical reactions to stress with a need to find what brings peace, leading to her philosophy of “soul care” and eventually Keys Soulcare.
- •She struggled with skin issues for years beyond her teens, fueling self-consciousness
- •Stress from early career pressures intensified how her body reacted
- •She connects stress to physical manifestations and the need for calm and safety
- •She realized overcommitment and toxic energies left no space for reflection or rest
- •Meditation and asking “what do you think?” helped rebuild intuition
- •She describes Keys Soulcare as “where skin meets soul,” combining rituals and affirmations
Choosing peace over busyness: time alone, boundaries, and not dimming your light
The conversation turns to an addiction to stress and drama, and Alicia describes deliberately creating peace, including learning not to automatically say yes. She credits spending time alone as a turning point that brought clarity, decisiveness, and a renewed commitment to pursue what she loves without shrinking herself.
- •Alicia recognizes busyness can be tied to avoidance and a belief that busy equals success
- •She describes learning to ask whether she truly wants to say yes
- •Spending time with herself led to clarity, efficiency, and decisiveness
- •She emphasizes not dimming your light and pursuing what you love
- •She reiterates that loving something is a sign it’s meant for you, even if timing differs
Parents’ “gifts and gaps”: strength, self-determination, and what needed rewiring
Jay introduces the concept of parents leaving both gifts and gaps, and Alicia outlines hers. She credits her mother’s strength and her father’s role in shaping her sense of self, while also naming the internal work she had to do around worthiness and the urge to fix everything.
- •Gift from her mother: strength and clarity that helped her protect her power
- •Gift from her father: self-determination and sense of self amid a nontraditional family structure
- •Gap from her father: feelings of not being worthy she had to restructure
- •Gap from her mother: a pattern of feeling responsible to “fix” situations
- •She describes rewiring those patterns over time
Marriage lessons: flow vs design, open-hand love, and healthy conflict
Alicia describes what she and her husband teach each other: leaning into flow and also designing outcomes intentionally. She explains their vow-based metaphor of “loving with an open hand,” and shares how they avoid yelling and prioritize respectful communication, especially around parenting differences.
- •She says he taught her to be more in the flow; she taught him to design and strategize
- •She argues different perspectives can be stimulating rather than incompatible
- •Their guiding metaphor: love with an open hand, not a closed grip
- •She describes respect-based conflict: disagreements without yelling, slamming, or chaos
- •She emphasizes communication choices as a key factor in whether couples evolve or escalate
Crystals, intuition, and rebuilding trust in yourself
Jay asks about crystals, and Alicia links her interest to solo “artist dates” and finding what she needs through what she’s drawn to. The discussion expands into how judgment from others can erode self-trust, and her hope that people—especially parents and friends—become more aware of how they project opinions onto others.
- •She describes taking herself on solo “artist dates,” including visiting crystal shops
- •She chooses crystals by what she feels drawn to and what quality she needs
- •She mentions learning about lapis lazuli during a trip to Egypt
- •She describes using crystals with her son for grounding and reassurance
- •She reacts strongly to the idea that judgment makes people distrust themselves
- •She encourages honoring initial instincts and exploring them with curiosity
Go-to rituals for hard days: meditation, journaling, movement, and affirmations
Alicia lists the practices she returns to when life feels overwhelming, emphasizing consistency over quick fixes. She names meditation, journaling, working out, baths, and setting intentions—along with tying skincare steps to affirmations that reframe stress as a catalyst for change.
- •Meditation as a centering practice, sometimes waking early for quiet
- •Journaling for releasing thoughts she can’t easily share with others
- •A workout to reconnect with strength and physical power
- •Baths, oils/herbs, and crystals to help release stress
- •She references affirmations tied to her skincare routine, including welcoming circumstances as catalysts for change
- •She acknowledges some days/weeks/months are simply hard, and rituals help her fuel herself
Parenting practices: meditation exposure, gratitude, prayer, and making life feel normal
Jay asks what works for kids, and Alicia describes modeling rituals rather than forcing them. She highlights gratitude as a fast energy-shifter, encourages prayer, and talks about maintaining normal environments despite touring and public visibility—alongside teaching boundaries with fans.
- •She used to have her child meditate with her; now the familiarity still remains
- •She emphasizes short, doable practices for kids, like five minutes of sitting with yourself
- •Gratitude as a potent way to change energy when upset
- •Encouraging prayer and giving thanks as part of daily life
- •She aims to keep family life feeling normal while acknowledging tour life differences
- •She teaches boundaries with fans: greeting kindly even when a photo isn’t possible
Building ‘Hell’s Kitchen’ over 13 years: teamwork, refinement, and divine timing
Alicia details the long development of her Broadway musical, describing a process built in phases with workshops, story-building, and key collaborators. She frames it as a growth experience—using hard-won lessons, assembling a strong team, staying open to refinement, and celebrating the moment it earned major recognition.
- •She describes ‘Hell’s Kitchen’ as a 13-year passion project developed in pockets of time
- •Collaborative building: themes, characters, and storylines with the book writer
- •She credits the director as a guiding, stabilizing presence in the process
- •Choreography and orchestration changed how she experienced her own songs
- •She describes learning from past mistakes and “fixing it” with experience and the right team
- •She recalls the moment of receiving 13 Tony nominations as feeling divine
Vision vs perfectionism: letting the right people enhance the work
Jay asks how she balances perfectionism with flow, and Alicia distinguishes between holding a clear vision and welcoming additive collaborators. She explains that refusing good input can steal from the vision, while the right support expands what’s possible; she also warns that too many voices can overcomplicate the center.
- •She values having a clear vision that may shift if handed off
- •She recommends letting in “special folks” who are genuinely additive
- •She says constant struggle and arguing can signal the wrong collaboration
- •She describes the creative benefit of inviting new energy while staying centered
- •She notes the risk of overcomplicating a project and needing to return to simplicity
Protecting her energy and the Final Five: timing, identity, and a world without harm
Alicia explains how she avoids becoming jaded by staying conscious of what energy she brings and allowing herself to leave spaces when she can’t show up well. In the Final Five, she shares her grandmother’s line about timing, rejects advice to change herself for acceptance, recounts the precision of performing at the Super Bowl, recommends specific Keys Soulcare offerings, and proposes a law against harming others.
- •She credits her mother with teaching empathy and awareness of how she makes people feel
- •She says she can remove herself from spaces when she’s not feeling good
- •She describes learning to value her energy and stop giving it to undeserving people
- •Best advice: “Nothing before its time,” attributed to her grandmother
- •Worst advice: changing herself or doing uncomfortable things to be accepted
- •Super Bowl performance described as tightly timed, built live with precise logistics
- •She recommends a cleanser and an aura mist, and highlights affirmations attached to products
- •Her proposed law: no hurting another being physically or emotionally

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