ALICIA KEYS Reveals 5 Daily Rituals To Calm Your Nervous System

Alicia Keys 0:00 I felt like I had to protect myself from being hurt from people that I loved.

Jay Shetty 0:03 We got a special guest in the building.

Speaker 0:05 90 million records sold.

Jay Shetty 0:07 16-time Grammy-winning musician.

Alicia Keys 0:09 Alicia Keys. You're gonna get to that pole. You see that light? After the pole, you're gonna get to that light. You see that tree after the light? You're gonna get to that tree. And I discovered that that is how we get where we're going. If it's something that you love, go after it, 'cause it's meant for you. [gentle music]

Jay Shetty 0:30 The number one health and wellness podcast.

Alicia Keys 0:32 Jay Shetty.

Speaker 0:33 Jay Shetty.

Jay Shetty 0:34 The one, the only Jay Shetty.

Speaker 0:36 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 0:38 Hey, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose, the place you come to become happier, healthier, and more healed. I'm so grateful for the amazing conversations that I get to have, which are all about human evolution, growth, purification, and cleansing. Today's guest is someone who has talked about this at length in her amazing memoir, in her documentaries, in so many forms, and today I'm so excited that we finally have her on the podcast in the flesh, in person.

Alicia Keys 1:07 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:07 Although her voice and her energy speaks through the microphone at any time, today's guest is the one, the only Alicia Keys, a 16-time Grammy Award-winning singer. Let me say that again. 16 time Grammy Award-

Alicia Keys 1:21 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:22 ... winning singer, songwriter, musician, producer, founder of Keys Soulcare, which you'll be hearing about today, New York Times best-selling author, film, television, and Broadway producer as well, accomplished actress, entrepreneur, and a powerful force in the world of activism. Alicia is one of the original founders of She Is The Music, an initiative to create change for women and build an equal future for music. Alicia sold over 65 million records, over five billion streams, and built an unparalleled repertoire of hits and accomplishments. Hell’s Kitchen, the 13-time Tony Award-nominated original stage musical Alicia diligently worked for 13 years to create, opened on Broadway at the Shubert Theater on April 20th 2024. Today we're talking about Alicia's holistic beauty and skincare line, Keys Soulcare, which I can't wait for you all to try. Welcome to On Purpose, Alicia Keys.

Alicia Keys 2:21 That's so weird. Like, when you do all of that, there's something about it that's just so fascinating. And just wow. And thank you for having me, and I can't believe we're in the flesh for the first time on this show.

Jay Shetty 2:36 On this show.

Alicia Keys 2:36 You know what I mean?

Jay Shetty 2:37 Yes.

Alicia Keys 2:38 This is so good, and I love your show, and I love your, your, your life's purpose is so beautiful. So thank you for having me in your space. I'm loving this.

Jay Shetty 2:47 You've been so wonderful to me over the years, honestly. We've had such a sweet relationship whenever we've collaborated.

Alicia Keys 2:54 Right.

Jay Shetty 2:54 And from day one you've always been so giving, but seeing as you reacted to that in that way, I wonder whether-

Alicia Keys 2:59 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 3:00 ... little Alicia, if she saw that that was her life ahead, what would have been her reaction if she heard all of those things were gonna happen in her life?

Alicia Keys 3:09 Like, you lying. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 3:11 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 3:11 Like, you lying, right? I mean, you know, as a kid, I really do remember having these dreams and, and, and d- and visions and desires and wishes, but you just don't know what is gonna come for you. You don't know what's in your world or what's gonna come into your world, and I think a lot of times we are built to doubt the possibilities for ourselves. And so i- for self-preservation and protection, we say, "I mean, it's probably not gonna be that way for me," or, "You know, you know how it goes for m-" You do these things, and I remember doing these things, and it wasn't until I stopped

Alicia Keys 3:54 doing those things that things really started to change. So I still have a piece of inside of me that that is that little girl that's kinda like, you know, you protect, you wanna protect what might go wrong. And, and so I find that I, I do that sometime, which maybe is what happened when you just rattled off all those things and I was a little bit like, "That is so crazy and weird and strange and amazing at the same time."

Jay Shetty 4:22 Yeah. Well, that's very relatable, I think, for people to hear that right now, to think that there was a time in your life where doubts and anxiety and fear would creep in further, it always exists for all of us, but that it controlled a part of your life. What were some of the doubts and fears and anxieties you had growing up, whether it was to your dreams or whether it was to life in general?

Alicia Keys 4:44 Yeah, what do you mean about w- when you were growing up? How about yesterday?

Jay Shetty 4:48 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 4:48 You know what I mean? How about, like, three days ago? Like, um, as a kid growing up, I think some of my fears really circulated around, um... I remember I felt, I felt fearful that I wouldn't, or I felt like I had to protect myself from being hurt from people that I loved. I remember that. That, that was a, that was a thing, and I had to figure my, my way through that. There was a sense of, of lack that I was worried about. I was worried about this state of lack, or not having enough money, or not having enough, not being able to hold on to what you started to get, or things like that. I, I had to do a lot of work around that. That was a lot, that was a big one because, I mean, you really

Alicia Keys 5:34 can perpetuate that cycle just simply by the fact that you believe it can happen.

Jay Shetty 5:39 Mm.

Alicia Keys 5:39 You know? And so that was a big one. Um, I think that, you know, there's a, there's a lot of, there was a lot of fear or, or anxiety or worry around rejection You know, there was a lot of that, especially as I started to become more some- a public figure where people, you know, could kind of choose to like or dislike. There was a, it was a difficult journey to understand that you, you're never gonna please everyone, period. And you're gonna spend your whole... You're gonna tear yourself apart trying to, like, make sure every single thing is the way someone else wants it to be. But I had a lot of fear about that, and I really, it was, it was a struggle for me. And I, you know, I wanted to be accepted. I wanted to be liked. I wanted to be, you know, I wanted to hear a positive reflection back to me, you know? And so it took a long time to kinda be like, "Yeah, I don't, I can't depend on that." You know? I have to find my own stability. I have to find my own intuition. I have to find what I believe in, and at least I can stand on that. At least I can say, "I really believed that one."

Jay Shetty 6:47 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 6:47 You know? If it didn't work out, but I really believed it.

Jay Shetty 6:50 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 6:51 And I'm proud of it. You know what I mean? And that's a big one. You know, f- talk about even yesterday, I mean, Hell’s Kitchen, where we talked about Hell’s Kitchen, which is my musical, which has been a big dream in the making. There were moments where I'm like, "Is this gonna work?" Like, what if the whole th... I have this whole vision. I know what I want. But what if for some reason the whole thing doesn't go the way I want? What does that mean?

Jay Shetty 7:14 Mm-hmm.

Alicia Keys 7:14 I mean, you have many, many, many dollars. You have investors that you promised them to trust you. Can I carry this? Can I hold this? Can I manifest this? Terrifying. I mean, I would speak to my kids about it just because I wanted them to know that it's scary. You know? It's scary to dream and sh- but does that mean I'm not gonna dream it or not gonna try it? No, I have to. So tons of things-

Jay Shetty 7:42 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 7:42 ... have been that. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 7:43 I h- I feel like so many people who are listening right now would say, "Alicia, I feel the same way. I talk to myself in my head, and I think I can't do it. I'm not meant for it. It's, it's not gonna happen for me." And at the same time, they have this voice inside of them that says, "You're made for more. You're made of more. I know I need to believe in myself." And we kind of feel this internal battle. How did you, what was the work you had to do in order to go from someone who was anxious, doubtful, to become someone who manifested this beautiful, incredible, full life? Not that it's easy-

Alicia Keys 8:19 Mm

Jay Shetty 8:19 ... not that it came immediately.

Alicia Keys 8:22 Right.

Jay Shetty 8:22 But what was the work in the beginning stages that you had to reorient your mind?

Alicia Keys 8:27 That's a great question. I think one of the things that I had to come to terms with is that pretty much nothing is gonna come in a timeframe that you think-

Jay Shetty 8:36 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 8:36 ... it's gonna come. [laughs] So that's, and that's helpful, 'cause I think a lot of us are, you know, I mean, f- we're in such a digital space, and we see all these things, and we're bombarded with all these images, and we're bombarded with all these kind of like carefully crafted posts of perfection. And you get freaked out about it. You're like, "But I'm..." You know? And, and fortunately, I didn't really have to grow up looking at that, so

Alicia Keys 9:02 I empathize deeply with this generation. We have to, we have to evolve as young people on a whole other level than I even had to navigate. But what I mean by, and why, why it relates is, um, I did, I felt like I grew up in New York City. Everybody's a hustler. You gotta go fast. You gotta make it happen. You gotta stay up all night and get up crack of dawn, and it's not gonna happen if you don't... And I realized, wait, you know, as, as hard as I try to push the thing forward, when it's time, it's time. And if it's not time, it don't matter what I do. It doesn't no matter how much sleep I don't get.

Jay Shetty 9:40 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 9:41 It's not going to be time until it's time. And so I think that that steadiness of like kind of you just have to put one foot in front of the other is just as simple as that. And I remember when I did my first marathon, I ran in Greece, and I figured I'd never do another marathon, so I might as well do something unforgettable. But I could, I couldn't figure out how I was gonna make it. Everything hurt. My feet hurt, my back hurt, my lower back hurt, my abs hurt, my body ached, and I couldn't figure out, how am I gonna get there? And I remember I was running with my friend who was, who trained with me and helped me. And, and he said, "You see that pole? You're gonna get to that pole. You see that light after the pole? You're gonna get to that light. You see that tree after the light? You're gonna get to that tree." And I, it was literally that step by step. And so I f- I discovered that that is how we get where we're going.

Jay Shetty 10:36 Mm-hmm.

Alicia Keys 10:36 Like, this increment of small, determined moments. And, and so I think that as well as coupled with taking that negative talk out of your space, like being very conscious. It happens. It's in your head. You hear it. You're like, "Mm." Tell yourself the opposite thing. I mean, that's how I started to really get into affirmations, which i- I, I, I realized that I had to create what I wanted to hear. And oftentimes, it's, so many times it's the barrage of everyone else's doubts and fears, and your parents, you inherited theirs, and you inherited all your peers' things, and you, you, you got all these things inside of you that are not even yours. And so I had to create this connection with affirmations that allowed me to say what I wanted to hear. And so I had to become very mindful to notice the negative so that I could replace it. And when I did that, it really changed everything. It changed a bunch. And I had to stop saying things that I heard my mother say. I had to stop saying things that I heard whoever else I trusted say, because it wasn't serving me.

Jay Shetty 11:46 Mm.

Alicia Keys 11:46 'Cause she had picked up some stuff that I didn't need to pick up.

Jay Shetty 11:49 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 11:49 I didn't need to hold it. Stuff like that-

Jay Shetty 11:52 Yeah

Alicia Keys 11:52 ... uh, has been How?

Jay Shetty 11:54 Yeah. How many marathons have you done now?

Alicia Keys 11:56 I've done two, and, uh-

Jay Shetty 11:57 Okay. That's impressive. Yeah

Alicia Keys 11:58 ... I did Greece and I did New York.

Jay Shetty 12:00 Yeah. Wow.

Alicia Keys 12:00 And I realized the craziest thing. I realized that what I was experiencing, that ache, that pain, that lower back and the thing, was childbirth.

Jay Shetty 12:09 Oh.

Alicia Keys 12:10 I didn't know that 'cause the first time I hadn't given birth, but when I gave birth, I recognized the sensations-

Jay Shetty 12:16 Wow

Alicia Keys 12:16 ... and it was similar to a marathon. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 12:19 Wow.

Alicia Keys 12:19 It was kinda crazy, but there was a strength there that, you know, was really empowering. So only two. My brother's trying to get me to do another one.

Jay Shetty 12:27 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 12:27 I'm like, "Nah, B."

Jay Shetty 12:29 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 12:29 "I'm not doing it." [laughs]

Jay Shetty 12:31 My wife's doing London this year, I think-

Alicia Keys 12:33 Oh, oh

Jay Shetty 12:33 ... for her first time. She's been training.

Alicia Keys 12:35 It's cool.

Jay Shetty 12:35 Yeah, she's been training. Yeah.

Alicia Keys 12:35 When you do it, it's phenomenal, and you really, you really discover that it's... that your mind is stronger than your, your physical being, and you really can find this place that you didn't know you could.

Jay Shetty 12:47 Absolutely. What was your affirmation this morning?

Alicia Keys 12:50 Mm. My affirmation depends on the day, right? So today, my affirmation is just I'm gonna be on time.

Jay Shetty 13:00 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 13:01 Because I struggle to get my kids to school on time. It's killing me.

Jay Shetty 13:06 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 13:07 My, my youngest son has just changed schools, and he's going to another school, so now I'm taking both kids to two separate places.

Jay Shetty 13:14 Oh, gosh.

Alicia Keys 13:14 I'm struggling. And my second affirmation is I forgive myself.

Jay Shetty 13:19 Mm.

Alicia Keys 13:20 It's okay. Like grace, have grace with yourself. You're trying your best. It's not like you're messing around and doing whatever. You're really trying your best, and you're gonna figure out the rhythm of this thing. Have some grace.

Jay Shetty 13:31 I love those. They're so practical.

Alicia Keys 13:33 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 13:33 I think all of us could do all of them.

Alicia Keys 13:34 Right?

Jay Shetty 13:35 They're great. Yeah, and, and the time one's funny 'cause it reminds me of my mom. My mom had to do the same for me and my sister.

Alicia Keys 13:39 [sighs] It's not easy.

Jay Shetty 13:40 'Cause I went to a all boys school. She went to an all girls school. And

Jay Shetty 13:43 so my mom would have to drop her and then drop me or the other way around sometimes.

Alicia Keys 13:47 [sighs] It is-

Jay Shetty 13:48 And, uh-

Alicia Keys 13:48 It's, it's more than a notion. You think, "I could do this if I just leave by this time," and for whatever reason, that time comes and goes over and over.

Jay Shetty 13:55 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 13:56 So it's all good.

Jay Shetty 13:57 But I love how simple that is. Like, I think a lot of people also think affirmations-

Alicia Keys 14:00 Mm

Jay Shetty 14:01 ... always have to be this profound, like, incredible statement, and you're like, "It's just to be on time."

Alicia Keys 14:07 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 14:07 "And it's to forgive myself." And that's so real because we need to forgive ourselves every day.

Alicia Keys 14:12 Yeah. It's okay. It's okay. It's really okay. So, you know, 'cause you want the best. You want the best for yourself. You want the best for your family. You, you want the best outcome, you know? And, and it, it all comes from a good place, but I think sometimes we can beat ourselves up so badly about things that, you know, we can just give ourselves a little bit of a break, and it's... we can start again and try again and it's okay.

Jay Shetty 14:35 What, what was the last thing you beat yourself up about really badly where you were like, "I really made myself feel uncomfortable"?

Alicia Keys 14:41 [sighs] You know, I really try not to do that.

Jay Shetty 14:43 Mm.

Alicia Keys 14:43 I really do. Like, I really... I feel like I have a pretty good sense of self.

Jay Shetty 14:52 Mm.

Alicia Keys 14:52 And I feel like I have a pretty good sense also of, like, reality. And so I, I don't over-obsess, and I don't over kinda like... I'm not overly mean to myself, but I did think about that the other day, and I said I did this. It, it... I didn't put it up yet, but I did this. I do these things called Piece of Peace, and, and I call this speak to me nice 'cause y- you not gonna let someone else talk to you just any type of way.

Jay Shetty 15:22 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 15:23 You're gonna, "Excuse me? How did you just s- you just... Speak to me nice." But you yourself will speak to yourself

Alicia Keys 15:31 in these crazy ways. And so I kinda was, like, just reflecting on you telling yourself, me telling myself, "Speak to me nice." Like, "Talk to me with kindness and love." I learned that from my son a lot because my youngest, he is... he's, he's, like, he's a little tough on himself. And I'm like, "Hey, speak to yourself nice." And so I think that is something that I've em- that I've learned how to embody, and I really try not to spin out too much. But, um, you know, there are times, of course. You just... You know, you... But I'm like, "This is really doing no good."

Jay Shetty 16:05 Yes.

Alicia Keys 16:05 I'm really freaking out, and I'm just like, "Why? What are we doing in this space, in this cycle?"

Jay Shetty 16:10 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 16:10 Sometimes you gotta freak out though.

Jay Shetty 16:12 Yeah. [laughs]

Alicia Keys 16:13 'Cause you gotta learn something from it. You have to, like, take away whatever that is or that energy or that person who's spinning you like that or, or that trigger that's triggering you like that. And you do have to kinda spin out just to be like, "Whoa, that actually gets to me a lot. Why?" I've been learning a lot of that too. If I don't make sure I'm good, how can I make sure anybody is good ever? And so spending time with myself was a h- I fought against it so much. But when I started to do it, I realized that I was more powerful than I'd ever been. You really have to take care of your soul. No one's gonna do it for me. There is an addiction that I think comes with this idea of having to fill every minute and fill every second. If we stay as busy as possible-

Jay Shetty 16:59 That's a good point

Alicia Keys 16:59 ... we are, like, literally, we don't even have time to think about those things.

Jay Shetty 17:04 I always like to remind people that guilt blocks growth-

Alicia Keys 17:07 Mm

Jay Shetty 17:08 ... and shame doesn't help you shift, and judgment doesn't help you transform. Guilt blocks growth completely. It makes you wallow more in your guilt, and-

Alicia Keys 17:18 Mm

Jay Shetty 17:19 ... shame makes you feel stuck and shackled by it.

Alicia Keys 17:23 Yes.

Jay Shetty 17:24 And transformation is stunted when we're not able to be nice, kind, give ourselves grace. And it's funny because we almost think we can guilt ourselves into moving.

Alicia Keys 17:34 Mm.

Jay Shetty 17:34 We're like, "Oh, if I guilt myself enough, then maybe I'll change."

Alicia Keys 17:37 I'll be motivated by guilt.

Jay Shetty 17:38 Maybe I'll be motivated. And maybe you will for, like, a couple of days, but over time, it runs out. If you shame yourself into change-

Alicia Keys 17:46 Right

Jay Shetty 17:46 ... maybe for a couple of days you'll eat better, work out more, whatever it is that-

Alicia Keys 17:49 Right, right

Jay Shetty 17:49 ... you have your personal challenges with, but it's not sustainable.

Alicia Keys 17:53 Right.

Jay Shetty 17:54 Like, shame and guilt are not sustainable emotions, and they run out of steam very quickly.

Alicia Keys 17:58 Right.

Jay Shetty 17:59 And I was thinking about something that you've spoken about before is your journey with your own skin And like how you've had skin anxiety, and I know at one point you went completely, like, no makeup at one period of time in your life, and then now of course you have this, you know, you're in the beauty industry now as well, and you really care about how people care about their internal and the casing that we all have.

Alicia Keys 18:24 Yes.

Jay Shetty 18:24 And I know that you, you know, live a conscious, spirited life, which I really wanna dive into. But I think often those of us who live spiritual lives, we can be quite negligent of our casing-

Alicia Keys 18:35 Mm

Jay Shetty 18:35 ... and of this body.

Alicia Keys 18:36 Mm.

Jay Shetty 18:37 And you can-

Alicia Keys 18:38 Mm

Jay Shetty 18:38 ... you can kind of-

Alicia Keys 18:39 Disconnect from it maybe

Jay Shetty 18:41 ... disconnect from it. Yeah, disconnect from it.

Alicia Keys 18:42 Right. Right.

Jay Shetty 18:43 And so I wanted to ask you, how has your relationship changed with your skin that was something that brought you anxiety-

Alicia Keys 18:49 Oh my gosh, I mean-

Jay Shetty 18:50 ... to feeling more confident in your skin?

Alicia Keys 18:52 I mean, it, I, it was forever. It was literally forever, um, that I really struggled with my, with my skin. And, and you know, you're a teenager, and your hormones, and you get it, and it's cool.

Alicia Keys 19:06 And then all of a sudden I was like 18, and then I was 23, and then I was 28, and then I was 30, and then I was like 35, and I'm like, "Whoa, when does this thing stop?"

Jay Shetty 19:16 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 19:17 Like, when? I thought, like, 16, 18, 21 maybe. Why is it continuing? And it was really hard to, especially to be in spaces where you would present yourself and you would feel just so self-conscious. I just felt so self-conscious, and I'm like, "But there's a big bump right here." And then most people are like, "I don't even see the damn bump," but I see the bump right here, and it's huge. And it feels really uncomfortable, you know? You, you just feel uncomfortable. You want to know why too. You wanna know what's the matter. Is something wrong? Why, what, am, I thought I'm... What, what can I do to help this? And, um, and so that definitely caused me a lot of anxiety. I w- I started in the music world when I was, uh, 18, and so that was right at, kind of at the precipice. And then the, the, the stress of the whole universe of music was just so much, and I was trying my best to play it cool. I'm like, "I can handle it. I can do it." But it was stressful. It was a whole new world. I had to carry a, a new weight on my shoulders and, and try to, you know, kind of like be calm while, or cool while doing it, and it, and it was tricky. And my skin, I, I learned that my body reacts to stress. Our bodies react to stress. My personal body physically reacts to stress. Many of our personal bodies do this, which is obviously why even many diseases come to us from stress, because physically, it's a physical manifestation of this feeling, um, which is why it is so important for us to figure out, like, what gives you peace? What calms you down? What makes you feel safe and like you're in your skin and you're yourself, and these type of things. And so of course, I didn't know what that was for a long time, but I realized that it was these relationships I was attracting, and it was the, you know, the level of commitment I was, um, agreeing to that left no space for me to reflect or to sleep or to be with my friends and, you know, do those, have those outlets that do give you a sense of, of calm. And, and so my skin was so reactive that I said one day to myself, "If, if I, one day I'm gonna make something that fixes this, this." [laughs]

Jay Shetty 21:45 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 21:46 I'm gonna do something about this because I know I'm not the only one. And I realized as I began to, you know, live and experience so many different parts of my life, motherhood and, you know, raising young kids and finding time for yourself, I real- and getting rid of those toxic energies that were attacking me in real life, I realized that you really have to take care of your soul. Like, like you have to take care of your soul. So this philosophy of soul care really came from all of these understandings and all of these realizings that no one's gonna do it for me. Like, no, as much as I really, really wish someone would stand up-

Jay Shetty 22:28 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 22:28 ... and be like, "You, you're not good for her. Get out of here."

Jay Shetty 22:31 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 22:31 "That thing, you, you need to stop." No, I have to be the judge of that, and therefore I have to find my way to the understanding of how do I hear myself to know what is good and what is not, or what is real or what is true. And so there were many things that brought me to that place. Some of them were meditations that brought me there and really brought me to a more intuitive space. Some of them were just practicing the art of like, "No, what do you think? No, I know six friends said this," or, "I know that very strong energy that always tells everybody what they think said this, but what do you think?"

Jay Shetty 23:08 Mm.

Alicia Keys 23:09 And that became the practice of soul care and, and also these ideas of ancient rituals and what are some special ways that we can have peace and calm. And I was attracted to crystals and their powers and their meanings. I was attracted to journaling. And I have a very difficult time, as a kid I had a difficult time expressing my truth, and I realized that when I would journal or do the stream of consciousness, I could, I could actually just release it. I could let it go. And if I'm not good at doing that to someone else, 'cause I didn't trust as fully, um, I can do it with myself, you know? And so these, these practices of how do you kind of like depend on yourself to find your own grounding became my idea of what soul care is, which eventually became how I said I'm gonna make that thing to fix that thing-

Jay Shetty 23:56 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 23:57 ... became this Keys Soulcare. And, and the idea was, to me, it's a philosophy. It's a way of life. It's a lifestyle. To me, you know, um, you know, the beauty industry or skincare industry, just like the music industry, all of it is kind of creating how to live within the chaos. And so how do we do it? Nobody teaches us normally. It's a blessing if someone does. But normally it's not. So finding these ways through affirmations, through the idea of really connecting to yourself and using the affirmations that are on every bottle, because the idea is you wash your face, you do that every day with the Golden Cleanser- You can also think about how I'm devoted to this moment because so many times we're over here, over there, back there, over... How can you just be right here with yourself right now? And so the idea is, like, creating this mixture of ancient rituals and where skin meets soul, and soul care, 'cause we have air care, hair care, nail care, body care, home care, but we never had soul care. Why? So we wanted to s- I wanted to start it.

Jay Shetty 25:04 Yeah. That's so beautiful. I mean, I, I couldn't agree more. As someone who was very negligent of a lot of this stuff, like, growing up-

Alicia Keys 25:12 Mm

Jay Shetty 25:12 ... and not really thinking about it-

Alicia Keys 25:13 Mm

Jay Shetty 25:13 ... I've seen the value of... I'm a big fan of affirmations.

Alicia Keys 25:17 Right.

Jay Shetty 25:17 I think even when it comes to cleansing my face, what that means, what that feels like, how different I feel internally because of it, how it can be a reminder to continue to cleanse and detox the soul-

Alicia Keys 25:32 Mm

Jay Shetty 25:32 ... as well as that which is around me. There's, there's so much of that connection from body, mind, spirit, and soul that, that I think we, we lose, and we don't realize how interconnected they all are.

Alicia Keys 25:44 Right.

Jay Shetty 25:44 What you were saying about stress I found really powerful because, so for me, my stress shows up as tightness in my body.

Alicia Keys 25:51 Mm.

Jay Shetty 25:52 Like, I feel my stress is like it gets stored-

Alicia Keys 25:54 In your neck

Jay Shetty 25:55 ... in my neck or my shoulders, and then I'm just feeling tight even though I was like, I didn't know I was stressed. I didn't know what I was going through.

Alicia Keys 26:01 Totally.

Jay Shetty 26:02 And as you're saying, for some people, it shows up in their skin. I was gonna ask you, there's a bit of an addiction we also have to stress and drama, and there's this feeling sometimes where we prefer it when we have stress and busyness, and we're workaholics, and we like the drama. And almost when there's peace, we almost get confused and lost because-

Alicia Keys 26:22 Scared even

Jay Shetty 26:23 ... exactly. We get scared.

Alicia Keys 26:25 Right.

Jay Shetty 26:25 Right? So what would you say to someone who's actually, they're listening to us right now, and they're like, "Wow, I just realized that's, that's who I am. I, I actually like, I choose stress because-"

Alicia Keys 26:36 Do you, do you think people come to that realization?

Jay Shetty 26:38 I don't think people do it consciously.

Alicia Keys 26:40 Mm.

Jay Shetty 26:41 But I think unconsciously when I sit with people, they'll find that their inherited choice is to naturally

Jay Shetty 26:49 stay busy, work a lot, uh, create drama in their relationship, whatever it is, because we're more used to it, not because we're bad people or-

Alicia Keys 26:58 No, no, no, no, no

Jay Shetty 26:58 ... because we're wrong, but because we kind of feel familiar. A- and, and I'll give you the opposite example. I have lots of friends who will be like, "Oh, I'm dating this guy, and it's really peaceful. I'm bored." And so there's that, right?

Alicia Keys 27:10 Right.

Jay Shetty 27:10 Where, where people actually have, like-

Alicia Keys 27:12 Right

Jay Shetty 27:12 ... peace and stillness and connection, we're like, "Eh, this-"

Alicia Keys 27:15 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 27:16 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 27:16 Eh.

Jay Shetty 27:16 Yeah. [laughs]

Alicia Keys 27:17 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 27:17 There's nothing to talk about. So, so I don't think-

Alicia Keys 27:19 Mm

Jay Shetty 27:19 ... it's something that people do on purpose, and I don't think it's something that-

Alicia Keys 27:23 Right

Jay Shetty 27:23 ... people even do it consciously.

Alicia Keys 27:24 Right.

Jay Shetty 27:24 But I think we do like to stay busy and stressed to some degree.

Alicia Keys 27:28 I, I, I am familiar with that as well.

Jay Shetty 27:30 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 27:30 And I kind of was just telling you that I had the best summer, and it was my first summer where, you know, the last two summers I was on tour, and obviously those are just such a monster universe to try to, like, harness. And this summer was just like, I was like, "I am creating peace this summer. I am doing the things that everything I can imagine I wanna do, I'm doing it this summer." And it was really liberating, really liberating. But it also does reflect to myself, back to your point, the connection to the busyness equaling success or the busyness equaling, um, you know, uh, something positive when surely there's positivity there for sure, but there is an addiction that I think comes with this idea of having to fill every minute and fill every second. And also, there's the avoidance that we're all likely experiencing, where we don't really wanna face all the things underneath things, so if we stay as busy as possible-

Jay Shetty 28:31 That's a good point

Alicia Keys 28:31 ... we are, like, literally, we don't even have time to think about those things or to reflect on those things. And so I do understand that lifestyle because I, I feel like for quite a while, I didn't even... I, I would just say yes because I'm used to saying yes.

Jay Shetty 28:49 Yes. [laughs]

Alicia Keys 28:50 Right? And I've [laughs] and I realized, "Wait. Okay. You don't have to say yes." So do you want to say yes? Do you actually want to say yes, or do you just feel obligated to say yes for any number of reasons? So I think it's very powerful. I, I think you're right. There, there's totally the drama that we are... Mm. We're s- we've been conditioned.

Jay Shetty 29:16 Mm. Mm. That's the right word.

Alicia Keys 29:18 Right? To, um, to... It's a- or it's around us. It's what we see every day. We've seen our parents experience it in different ways. We've seen our friends go through it in different ways, and therefore, that becomes the normal for us. And when, when we kind of crave it, we become addicted to it-

Jay Shetty 29:40 Mm

Alicia Keys 29:40 ... um, even without knowing it. So I think that practice of, like... That, that perhaps is one of the opening, when you said how did you get to a place where you could, you know, find yourself in a, where you are. I think part of that practice really did have to come to spending time with myself.

Jay Shetty 29:58 Mm.

Alicia Keys 29:58 And I made every excuse why I couldn't spend time with myself. My kids, I can't do it. My kids, you know, I can't leave them by themselves. I can't do it 'cause I gotta, you know, and who else is gonna do? I gotta feed the family, the f- you know, we gotta do... And they all seem valid. Seem- makes sense to me. Yeah, that's true, your kids. You should probably ha- make sure your kids are good. And if I don't make sure I'm good, how can I make sure anybody is good ever? And so spending time with myself was a h- I fought against it so much. But when I started to do it, I realized that I was more powerful than I'd ever been.

Jay Shetty 30:33 Mm.

Alicia Keys 30:34 And I was faster. I was able to do things quicker and more efficiently because I, I wasn't so cloudy, you know? And that was cool. That was cool. When you start to feel that, where you're like, "Ooh- I don't have to spend so much time doing whatever action because I actually know what I wanna do, ba-ba-ba-ba-bup, and I'm decisive.

Jay Shetty 30:55 Mm.

Alicia Keys 30:56 Man, that felt so good. I had never felt decisive before in my life. I'd never felt clear without thousands of other opinions. I, I never felt like my own self. So that was big. But spending time with myself was, I believe, one of the keys to that. Can we open every door? Yes. We actually can open every door, but is it always gonna be easy or the simplest? No, it's gonna take time, and you're gonna have to figure it out and work your way through it. This idea of not dimming your light. Like, don't dial it back. If it's something that you love, go after it 'cause it's meant for you. And it might not be the way that you thought it was gonna be or the length of time you thought it was gonna take or whatever all the other things are, but man, is- I know it's meant for you if you love it.

Jay Shetty 31:49 When I'm hearing you talk about how much we have to filter from the outside world, you mentioned a few times your parents, people's parents, like a lot of... A lot comes from our parents, and I know you spoke about it so beautifully in your book-

Alicia Keys 32:01 Mm

Jay Shetty 32:01 ... that I got to interview you about, which I loved, uh, it was such a-

Alicia Keys 32:04 Thank you. Me too

Jay Shetty 32:05 ... it was such a beautiful memoir that you wrote-

Alicia Keys 32:07 Thank you

Jay Shetty 32:08 ... a few years back. And I was wondering what... I always think about our parents giving us gifts and gaps.

Alicia Keys 32:14 Mm.

Jay Shetty 32:14 Like, they give us certain gifts, and they leave certain gaps.

Alicia Keys 32:17 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 32:17 And we end up spending our whole life trying to get other people to fill those gaps-

Alicia Keys 32:21 Mm

Jay Shetty 32:22 ... and give us the same gifts. And, and it creates a lot of-

Alicia Keys 32:25 Wow

Jay Shetty 32:25 ... good things and issues. So-

Alicia Keys 32:26 Wow

Jay Shetty 32:26 ... I was gonna ask you, what would you say are the gifts you got from your mother and father, and what were the gaps that they left, and how did they affect you?

Alicia Keys 32:33 Ooh.

Jay Shetty 32:34 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 32:34 Okay, let me sit up for a sec.

Jay Shetty 32:36 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 32:37 Fix my shirt real quick. Um, the gifts, the gifts, one of the gifts that I got from my mother, I would say, is her, um, y- is her strength.

Jay Shetty 32:49 Mm.

Alicia Keys 32:50 I feel like I really, I really bore witness to a woman who was, like, not to be f- with. Like, she just really... Now, I don't know if she wore that as an armor, you know, or what that was, but I found her to be quite, like, like, straight and clear and strong, and there was kinda no getting around it. [laughs] And you kinda just knew, "Okay, this is what it is." And I feel like I, I really received a lot from that as a woman, as a young woman, as a woman who would have to be at the forefront of her own life and career and really have to be in my space of power, be around a lot of people that wanna take your power, steal your light, you know, lead you in the wrong spaces. I had to kind of be in my strength, and I did receive that from her. What I received from my father was, I think, I think, I think I also received a level of, um, self-determination because I had a unique relationship. My mother and my father were not married or together. And so one, I had to learn that that's actually not unique or different. You know, there's not some kind of, like, family structure that's, like, the main one. I think we get painted that picture so much, and then we feel-

Jay Shetty 34:15 So true

Alicia Keys 34:16 ... we feel uncomfortable that ours doesn't look like that. Um, but so I had to kind of know who I was also, even in our relationship, and so I got a sense of self as well.

Jay Shetty 34:29 Mm.

Alicia Keys 34:29 Sense of self. The gap from the sense of self that I received from my father was probably maybe, um, some feelings of not being worthy.

Jay Shetty 34:41 Mm.

Alicia Keys 34:42 So I received some of that. I had to s- restructure my brain around. And from my mother, I think I got a sense of fixing. I had to fix everything because, in a lot of ways, if she was strong and angry, I had to be, like, soft and accommodating and kind of fix the situation.

Jay Shetty 35:05 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Alicia Keys 35:06 And so I think I received some of that, which I also had to rewire.

Jay Shetty 35:12 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 35:13 No, no, no. I can't fix everything. I just can't.

Jay Shetty 35:15 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 35:15 And I can't be in my relationships like that-

Jay Shetty 35:17 Yeah

Alicia Keys 35:17 ... 'cause that's not gonna work. Man, took lots of time, but those are my gifts and my gaps.

Jay Shetty 35:21 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 35:22 Um, I'm asking that to many people. This is a great question.

Jay Shetty 35:27 Yeah. I think it, I think it has such a... We don't realize how much of an impact it has on every relationship that comes after those relationships with our parents-

Alicia Keys 35:37 [sighs]

Jay Shetty 35:37 ... and how it becomes, like, the guiding map of our whole life.

Alicia Keys 35:40 [sighs]

Jay Shetty 35:41 And then you look back, and you go, "Why am I expecting someone to give me this gift?" It's like, " 'Cause my parents gave me it. Now I want everyone that loves me-

Alicia Keys 35:47 To give that to you

Jay Shetty 35:48 ... to show me they love me in this way."

Alicia Keys 35:50 Mm.

Jay Shetty 35:50 "And I want them to fill this exact gap, and if they don't fill this gap, then they don't love me."

Alicia Keys 35:54 And, and-

Jay Shetty 35:54 Because that was where that self-worth you were saying-

Alicia Keys 35:57 [sighs]

Jay Shetty 35:57 ... of, like-

Alicia Keys 35:58 Right

Jay Shetty 35:58 ... because if you were made to feel unworthy in a certain way-

Alicia Keys 36:01 Right

Jay Shetty 36:01 ... then you think anyone who doesn't show you love in that way, then they don't think you're worthy.

Alicia Keys 36:05 Mm.

Jay Shetty 36:06 But they may not. They've, they're not aware-

Alicia Keys 36:08 Right

Jay Shetty 36:08 ... of the gift and the gap.

Alicia Keys 36:09 Right. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 36:09 And their, and they've got their own as well.

Alicia Keys 36:11 So that's the complex part.

Jay Shetty 36:13 Yeah, yeah. It's a lot. It's a lot. And I mean, obviously you've been married for, what, 14 years now, I think?

Alicia Keys 36:17 Yes.

Jay Shetty 36:17 It's like-

Alicia Keys 36:18 Fourteen

Jay Shetty 36:18 ... congratulations.

Alicia Keys 36:19 Thank you.

Jay Shetty 36:19 That's amazing.

Alicia Keys 36:20 Wow.

Jay Shetty 36:20 No, that's, that's beautiful.

Alicia Keys 36:21 We're like, "Whoa."

Jay Shetty 36:22 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 36:22 That's crazy.

Jay Shetty 36:23 It's brilla- I mean, it's love.

Alicia Keys 36:24 We love it. We love it.

Jay Shetty 36:25 Yeah, yeah, you look... I, I always, whenever I see you both, you seem so happy and joyous and, you know, complementary to each other. I think what I find really fascinating in relationships is what people end up teaching each other. What would you say Swizz has been able to teach you, and what have you taught him?

Alicia Keys 36:39 He's definitely taught me how to be, like, much more in the flow.

Jay Shetty 36:44 Mm.

Alicia Keys 36:45 Like, it's all about kind of the magic of the moment and allowing the flow. Like, just- ... slide into the slipstream. Let it happen. Like, let it happen. Um, that's been a big lesson he's given me, and what I've been able to give him is probably a little bit more of like, let's design-

Jay Shetty 37:07 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 37:07 ... what we want to happen.

Jay Shetty 37:09 Yeah, yeah.

Alicia Keys 37:09 You know, as we're letting it happen, let's also, like, design it and craft it and strategize it and create it and schedule it so that it can really, really happen, and I love how we balance each other like that. There's been just so much growth between us and so, in such a positive way because we really do complement each other.

Jay Shetty 37:28 Mm.

Alicia Keys 37:28 So it feels natural-

Jay Shetty 37:29 Yeah

Alicia Keys 37:29 ... in those ways.

Jay Shetty 37:30 So I'm you, and my wife's Swizz.

Alicia Keys 37:32 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 37:32 So I'm like that.

Alicia Keys 37:33 So you're, like, grounding her.

Jay Shetty 37:33 I'm, like, very intentional, very, like, I'm like-

Alicia Keys 37:35 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 37:36 ... strategy, designed, intentional life.

Alicia Keys 37:39 Right.

Jay Shetty 37:40 And she's just like this ball of energy.

Alicia Keys 37:42 Stream.

Jay Shetty 37:42 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 37:42 Stream.

Jay Shetty 37:43 And, and I, but I wanted to ask you, because those things seem like they're at loggerheads with each other, right?

Alicia Keys 37:49 Hmm.

Jay Shetty 37:49 Like, they seem-

Alicia Keys 37:50 Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm

Jay Shetty 37:50 ... like, on the outside, that would seem like, well, if he's like, "Go with the flow," and you're like, "Yeah, but we need to know what we're doing-"

Alicia Keys 37:56 [laughs] What time?

Jay Shetty 37:56 ... that sounds like a, a terrible matchup. Like, that sounds like a fight ready to, you know-

Alicia Keys 38:02 Explode

Jay Shetty 38:02 ... waiting to happen. Yeah, an explosion, because that's completely contradictory

Jay Shetty 38:07 in terms of him being in flow, and same with Radi, like being completely this bundle and ball of energy and joy, and then we're both trying to be more thoughtful and strategic. So how does that, how have you allowed each other to operate as who you are and take without feeling like someone's trying to change you or that you've got to be someone else, or they've got to be someone else?

Alicia Keys 38:30 Yeah. No, I think it's a, I think that's a good point. Well, first of all, I don't think... I think actually it tends to work better when there's two different perspectives, right? 'Cause if you think exactly what I think and I think exactly what you think, then we might get to that place of boredom-

Jay Shetty 38:46 Boredom

Alicia Keys 38:46 ... that we discussed. But what I, what I took from what you said on bored, I took almost like there's not a stimuli, right? There's not, like, the stimulation that comes sometimes, and I think that might happen if you're almost too similar. There's a stimulation from meeting an opposition and meeting, like, a different way of thinking and then having to think about it and put it into your, your world. So, um, so yeah, I think that, that the flow is just because I love how he thinks, and how he thinks is so uniquely him, and it does inspire me. And yet I can still be connected to my own.

Jay Shetty 39:22 Mm.

Alicia Keys 39:22 And similarly, I think how I think does inspire him. He says, "Let me think about that more. Let me put a little more thought into how we're doing this." And yet doesn't have to take him from his own. So we've, we've, eh, ever since the day our vows were about this idea of loving with an open hand. There's a beautiful thought of my loving with an open hand and, you know, that everyone should be f- free to fly as they want to fly. There should never be a closed hand over or around someone.

Jay Shetty 39:51 Mm.

Alicia Keys 39:52 You know?

Jay Shetty 39:52 Oh, I really like that.

Alicia Keys 39:53 You know? It should be this open hand. And so we, we really have always looked at it like that. He'll always say, "She's, she's her own boss."

Jay Shetty 40:01 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 40:01 "I don't have anything to do with whatever she's choosing. Don't call me and ask me to try to get her. I can't." [laughs] "She's her own boss, so talk to her about whatever that might be." And, and, and so there's always been that respect there that we each have our own way of flowing, and it works.

Jay Shetty 40:20 Mm.

Alicia Keys 40:20 It works.

Jay Shetty 40:20 Yeah, that's beautiful to hear, and I love that.

Alicia Keys 40:23 That whole-

Jay Shetty 40:23 Did you write that, or was that a poem that you came across or?

Alicia Keys 40:25 I, I want to remember where-

Jay Shetty 40:26 Yeah

Alicia Keys 40:26 ... that came from, but I wrote a song about it that never came out.

Jay Shetty 40:29 No way.

Alicia Keys 40:30 Yeah, and I, and I always loved that metaphor.

Jay Shetty 40:33 So do I. Just as, when you were moving your hands, for anyone who's not watching-

Alicia Keys 40:36 Right

Jay Shetty 40:37 ... Alicia was moving her hands from being open to, like, holding one of her hands closed, like.

Alicia Keys 40:42 And we do that. We, like, we, like, stifle each other and hold each other and demand these things and don't want people to be free to express and feel fear and worry when people are bright and shining, and we feel, you know, sometimes afraid of that, that they would somehow not need us anymore or not want us anymore and, you know, but there's this beautiful thing of just being this equanimity. That's what I've always experienced with him. There's, like, this e- equanimity between us that I've never felt anywhere else, and it's natural. There's, we just have a similar frequency that we vibrate on, and it just works, and I've been in situations where it's like, man, I kind of have to keep-

Jay Shetty 41:25 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 41:26 Can you come up here with me, or I have to go, you know, find that? But it's like we're, we're not quite on the same level. And so that means something, you know, finding that frequency that vibrates with you is, is a thing.

Jay Shetty 41:37 Yeah. No, I, I love that. I wrote a chapter in my last book called Your Partner is Your Guru.

Alicia Keys 41:42 Ooh.

Jay Shetty 41:42 And, and it was, and it, and it's that I, I feel that way, like, you know, and, and I think that the quality that's required so much in long-term relationships is humility.

Alicia Keys 41:54 Mm.

Jay Shetty 41:54 And it's the hardest quality to have with your partner often, where we have our biggest egos, and we say this is the person we love the most, but they're the person we have the least humility with. Like, if they don't like what we're wearing or if they give us feedback or-

Alicia Keys 42:09 We're all like-

Jay Shetty 42:09 ... they, that's, that, it hurts the most because-

Alicia Keys 42:11 It does

Jay Shetty 42:12 ... you're meant to love me, yeah

Alicia Keys 42:13 ... 'cause our love is so, so, so pure.

Jay Shetty 42:15 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 42:16 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 42:16 But-

Alicia Keys 42:16 Good point

Jay Shetty 42:17 ... but it stops us sometimes from opening up as, as you're talking about, as you have been able to.

Alicia Keys 42:22 Right.

Jay Shetty 42:23 Like, it stops you from sometimes learning from that person because you think your way is the right way or that-

Alicia Keys 42:27 Mm

Jay Shetty 42:28 ... what you learned and what you inherited was the right way to solve a problem, especially I'm imagining when you have kids.

Alicia Keys 42:34 That, that, that-

Jay Shetty 42:35 Like-

Alicia Keys 42:35 ... that's what just hit me-

Jay Shetty 42:36 Yeah, yeah

Alicia Keys 42:36 ... like a ton of, ton of bricks because we do find ourselves in those circumstances where naturally something that he might feel is quite different from what I might feel in regards to the kids. And, um, you know, I think that any time that's happened, I can reflect that there surely ... has, is a better way of communicating what it is, and I find that that is the most powerful part. How do you choose to communicate with the people that you love is really the key-

Jay Shetty 43:07 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 43:07 [laughs] to kind of life.

Jay Shetty 43:09 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 43:09 Like, literally that, that energy that you're giving and how you're choosing to communicate will make the difference between, you know, something where you both can evolve and both can say, "I get it. I see what you mean, and you can see what I mean, and we can kind of find our way through it," or a big argument.

Jay Shetty 43:27 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 43:28 Which is just a pain.

Jay Shetty 43:29 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 43:29 'Cause then you gotta, you know, you gotta do all that, which we actually don't argue. We have a... We don't, we don't argue. Surely, we get upset or we disagree, but, um, but there's not, like, a yelling and screaming and an arguing and a, and a chaos and a slamming and a throwing. There's not that. Like, we respect each other too much for that, and I really appreciate that, that that's the energy. 'Cause I do also appreciate that many people have to or choose to or find themselves in the place of experiencing that type of-

Jay Shetty 44:00 Yeah

Alicia Keys 44:00 ... you know, interaction, and man, I mean, that is just so stressful and hard all around. Um, so I'm proud that we can, like, find that, that place, and it is possible.

Jay Shetty 44:11 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 44:12 It is possible.

Jay Shetty 44:12 Yeah. Well, it sounds like you've both been quite intentional about your relationship from your vows t- from the beginning-

Alicia Keys 44:18 Right

Jay Shetty 44:18 ... of, like-

Alicia Keys 44:18 Right

Jay Shetty 44:18 ... what does this look like?

Alicia Keys 44:19 Right.

Jay Shetty 44:20 And what are the barriers around disagreements?

Alicia Keys 44:22 Right.

Jay Shetty 44:23 Like, we're allowed to disagree.

Alicia Keys 44:24 Right.

Jay Shetty 44:24 You're allowed to... And the same with me and my wife.

Alicia Keys 44:26 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 44:26 We have a rule as well, like, no yelling, no raising the voice, no- obviously nothing physical, but, like-

Alicia Keys 44:31 Right

Jay Shetty 44:32 ... there, there has to be a very clear way of solving this, and we're allowed to disagree. We're allowed to end on completely two different sides of a conversation. We don't have to end with the perfect resolution. It may-

Alicia Keys 44:44 Right

Jay Shetty 44:44 ... it may not be the way.

Alicia Keys 44:45 Right.

Jay Shetty 44:46 But we don't have to get there in a violent, aggressive, or tension-filled way through our words or our actions or our, how loud we are because-

Alicia Keys 44:54 Right, right

Jay Shetty 44:54 ... that pushes the person away so much. I read this-

Alicia Keys 44:57 Mm

Jay Shetty 44:58 ... poem that was talking about when people argue, they have to shout and scream because that's how distant their souls are.

Alicia Keys 45:06 Mm.

Jay Shetty 45:07 And so even though you're standing right in front of them-

Alicia Keys 45:10 That's good one right there

Jay Shetty 45:11 ... their soul is so far away from you that you have to shout in order to communicate. But you don't realize that that just pushes them further away.

Alicia Keys 45:18 Mm. Wow.

Jay Shetty 45:18 And that actually if you whispered and you were quiet and-

Alicia Keys 45:21 You would draw them closer

Jay Shetty 45:21 ... you would actually draw them closer.

Alicia Keys 45:23 Ooh, that's a bar.

Jay Shetty 45:25 And so, yeah, and so it... You know, I love that. I love that metaphor, and I can't... I need to hear this song that you've-

Alicia Keys 45:30 I know

Jay Shetty 45:30 ... written about the hands that hasn't been released.

Alicia Keys 45:31 I'll find it.

Jay Shetty 45:32 Yeah, please.

Alicia Keys 45:32 I'll find it. At least I'll send it to you.

Jay Shetty 45:34 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 45:34 But I'll, I'll find it. I, I really like it. Special. It's a special song. I wrote it when I came back from Egypt, and so it was a while ago, but I took that, a special trip to Egypt. And I did a lot of songwriting right after that, and that was kind of one of them. And it was actually in honor of my godmother, who did experience quite an abusive relationship, and so the, the, the, the line was, "The tightest grip is an open hand."

Jay Shetty 45:59 Mm. I love that.

Alicia Keys 46:01 Which reflects what you said.

Jay Shetty 46:02 That's a bar. Yeah.

Alicia Keys 46:02 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 46:03 That's beautiful.

Alicia Keys 46:04 Mm. I really-

Jay Shetty 46:05 That's beautiful.

Alicia Keys 46:06 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 46:06 How, how do you decide that a song doesn't come out? Like, how does, how does... Because how many songs does an artist make that never-

Alicia Keys 46:13 So many

Jay Shetty 46:13 ... like, uh, in your, in your lifetime, like, how many songs never would, would someone have never heard?

Alicia Keys 46:18 2, 300.

Jay Shetty 46:19 Wow.

Alicia Keys 46:20 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 46:21 So that's, like, 20 albums worth that are there.

Alicia Keys 46:23 So many. So many that are just, you know, half done or, you know, didn't quite just come together or just didn't have that special thing enough to go to the next level, or time passes and your relationship to yourself is changing, so what you were, what you were expressing at one point just doesn't represent where you are now, and so then that kind of has its own... In fact, one of my albums, Keys, has a song on it called Is It Insane? And Keys came out in, like, 2023, and Is It Insane? was written in, like, 2000.

Jay Shetty 47:00 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 47:00 It's like... Is... It was... But it was not ready-

Jay Shetty 47:03 Yeah

Alicia Keys 47:03 ... until that moment.

Jay Shetty 47:04 Wow.

Alicia Keys 47:04 And then it was ready. So back to that whole thing where nothing's ever ready when you think it's time.

Jay Shetty 47:10 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alicia Keys 47:11 And then finally you're like, "Oh, it's time."

Jay Shetty 47:12 Yes.

Alicia Keys 47:12 "I get it." [laughs]

Jay Shetty 47:13 Yeah. And time's usually... You're so... When you said that earlier, I thought of it. I was like, time is actually what puts anxiety onto everything.

Alicia Keys 47:20 Mm.

Jay Shetty 47:20 If we say, "I have to have achieved this by this age-"

Alicia Keys 47:24 Yes

Jay Shetty 47:24 ... that's now the anxiety. Because if it took 23 years, it took 23 years, and you got there in the end.

Alicia Keys 47:29 Right.

Jay Shetty 47:30 But if you said, "This has to be ready this year," that's what put anxiety o- on everything. And I, I was thinking about that. I was like, you're so right that when I make something not on the universe's time and not on divine timing and it's on my timing-

Alicia Keys 47:45 Mm

Jay Shetty 47:45 ... that's when-

Alicia Keys 47:47 You're stressed about it

Jay Shetty 47:47 ... that's what I'm stressed about.

Alicia Keys 47:48 You're freaking out.

Jay Shetty 47:49 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 47:49 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 47:50 And of course, there

Jay Shetty 47:51 are things you have to, like, if you have contracts and commitments and-

Alicia Keys 47:54 You have to get it in in time.

Jay Shetty 47:55 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 47:56 You do your best.

Jay Shetty 47:56 Yeah. But it's when we're asking or trying to manifest things that we put time on, it changes. What's y- You were saying you love crystals earlier. I was wondering, what's your favorite crystal, and, and where did you find it? How did you learn about them? I feel like you have such a deeply spiritual side, and I, and I wanna hear about it-

Alicia Keys 48:14 Mm

Jay Shetty 48:14 ... 'cause I don't think we've dived into this before.

Alicia Keys 48:16 I lo- That's a good one.

Jay Shetty 48:17 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 48:17 Man. Okay. So where did my love for crystals come? First, I think that I've learned that going to these crystal shops-

Jay Shetty 48:26 Mm

Alicia Keys 48:27 ... there's something s- so beautiful about the process, and I remember doing a beautiful book called The Artist's Way.

Jay Shetty 48:36 Mm-hmm.

Alicia Keys 48:36 Um, Julia Cameron, I believe her name is.

Jay Shetty 48:38 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 48:38 And, like, tried and true book, like, classic.

Jay Shetty 48:41 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 48:42 And one of the things that was beautiful about it is she says, "Take yourself on an artist date." So once a week, you were meant to take yourself on an artist date, which meant you couldn't go with no one except yourself, and you had to think of what would serve you on that date, which is quite hard for many of us. Like, "What will make me happy? Where would I like to go?" And crystal shops is what I discovered-

Jay Shetty 49:04 Became your day

Alicia Keys 49:05 ... was one of the things. I loved to... I loved the peace and the serenity. I loved exploring every name. I found that if I went to one- ... it would be exactly the one I needed. I would just look at the l- way it looked, and I would pick it up. I'm like, [gasps] "That's what I need right now. I need more courage. I need more, I need more manifestation. I need more clarity." Uh, when I did take my trip to Egypt that we talked about, I learned that the native, uh, what was native to where we were was the lupis lazuli-

Jay Shetty 49:34 Mm-hmm

Alicia Keys 49:35 ... that blue powerful stone, and I just became fascinated with it. So the more that I discovered, the more that crystals became a part of my life. Even in my son's pocket I'll put a crystal if he's feeling worried or if he's feeling like, or if he needs a little grounding, I'll put a crystal in his pocket, or I'll tell him, "Hold it," just because I do know there is something about the power of crystals. And that, in fact, is one of the most kind of secret parts of Key Soulcare because the crystals are infused into the offerings. And we have these, these beautiful offerings called Illuminating Serum, which I just love 'cause we need to illuminate as much as possible, and they are really based on these crystals. So one's the moonstone aura.

Jay Shetty 50:20 Ah.

Alicia Keys 50:21 And that is so good manifestation. One is the bronzite aura, and that is all about courage, and one is the, the, the, um, the quartz, the, the golden quartz aura, and that's, and that is... So each one has these powers that even you should put on your body, in your universe, and I just love that because there is such a, this, there is a strength. There is a power. There is a mysticism. There is a, there are these ancient rituals. Like, our ancestors did these things hundreds and hundreds of years ago, and we've someh- sometimes lost touch with those rituals and those ancient ways. And so I love discovering them, and they really give me a sense of like pss, I feel like I have something in my pocket that like-

Jay Shetty 51:07 Yeah

Alicia Keys 51:07 ... is gonna help me, and I really, really love it, or on my, on my body like-

Jay Shetty 51:11 Yeah, now you can put it on your body-

Alicia Keys 51:12 You know?

Jay Shetty 51:13 ... thanks to the-

Alicia Keys 51:13 It feels like-

Jay Shetty 51:14 Key Soulcare, yeah

Alicia Keys 51:14 ... and it illuminates you. So it also gives you that glow that's-

Jay Shetty 51:18 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 51:18 ... just really already within you.

Jay Shetty 51:20 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 51:20 That's the point.

Jay Shetty 51:21 No, I, I love that you've infused it in the offerings because I feel like... I, I, I too love that. Like, I, sometimes you see a crystal and you're just drawn to it.

Alicia Keys 51:29 [exhales]

Jay Shetty 51:30 Or you see a gem and you're just drawn to

Jay Shetty 51:32 it.

Alicia Keys 51:32 Right.

Jay Shetty 51:32 And it's, and you can't explain it because it's not like you were into that color or you were into-

Alicia Keys 51:36 Right

Jay Shetty 51:36 ... that shape.

Alicia Keys 51:37 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 51:37 And all of a sudden you're just like, "Why am I attracted to this thing?" Uh-

Alicia Keys 51:42 'Cause you need it

Jay Shetty 51:42 ... 'cause you need it, exactly.

Alicia Keys 51:44 Right.

Jay Shetty 51:44 And, and I think we've lost the ability to trust ourselves-

Alicia Keys 51:48 Mm

Jay Shetty 51:48 ... on what we need because everything's become didactic and tactical and kind of too formulated.

Alicia Keys 51:56 [exhales] Wow.

Jay Shetty 51:58 But you're the-

Alicia Keys 51:58 I, I, I'm very moved by this because as we were just talking about kids and, you know, as a parent, you think about we do take, we can, we have the power to take the trust from people-

Jay Shetty 52:19 Mm

Alicia Keys 52:19 ... when they feel like they can't trust themselves because we judge them on something that they've decided. And we do this as adults to each other. We do this as parents to kids. We do this as friends, you know? And we do this thing where we judge a person, and now we've taken away a bit of their trust in themselves because they feel like, "Hmm, this person made fun of me when I did this. I won't do that." But your instinct was to do this, and you loved it when you did it. You were happy. You were excited. You were giddy. And, and, and, and perhaps we allow people to steal that from us, but many times we're not in a position of awareness, so we just find that we then distrust ourselves, and I think that's a big one.

Jay Shetty 53:04 Mm.

Alicia Keys 53:04 Because how can we start to trust ourselves again? How can we practice like, "No. No, this is good for me. You might not like it. It's cool. You don't have to do it."

Jay Shetty 53:14 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 53:14 "I'm not telling you to do it."

Jay Shetty 53:16 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 53:16 "I'm telling you I'm doing it." [laughs] And I think that's really important, and I hope that we can first be a little bit more conscious of always injecting our opinion on everybody as parents, as friends-

Jay Shetty 53:30 Mm

Alicia Keys 53:30 ... as, you know, elders, and secondly, to, as, as the people who have to navigate our way through that, remembering that if that was our first instinct and we felt joy with it, you know?

Jay Shetty 53:43 Mm-hmm.

Alicia Keys 53:43 Then there's something in there to learn or explore-

Jay Shetty 53:45 Yeah

Alicia Keys 53:45 ... or find the color in or curiosity and, and, and I, and I want us to do, I want us to not forget that.

Jay Shetty 53:51 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 53:52 That's a big one you just said.

Jay Shetty 53:54 No, you... So well said. I, I couldn't agree with you more, and I, I remember p- when I first trained to be a coach, the number one training was how you don't project your life and your limits-

Alicia Keys 54:05 Oh

Jay Shetty 54:05 ... onto anyone. Like, that's the core skill because that's all we do all day.

Alicia Keys 54:10 Ooh.

Jay Shetty 54:10 Like, someone says their idea, and we project-

Alicia Keys 54:12 Yeah, like-

Jay Shetty 54:12 ... our view to it straight away-

Alicia Keys 54:13 Right

Jay Shetty 54:14 ... right? Like, someone's like, "Hey, I wanna be a singer like Alicia Keys," and you're like, "Nah, it's not gonna happen."

Alicia Keys 54:17 Yeah, but that's probably not.

Jay Shetty 54:18 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alicia Keys 54:19 So you might as well...

Jay Shetty 54:20 Yeah, and it's like, but you have no idea what they're saying. You don't, you're not listening to them. There's no, there's no learning, and you're just projecting what you feel. Or someone says, "Hey, I think I'm quitting my job and pursuing my passion on this thing," and you're like, "No, no, no, don't do that. Like, that's risky." And it's like, well, maybe it's, maybe they don't see-

Alicia Keys 54:35 Maybe it's needed

Jay Shetty 54:35 ... yeah, maybe it's needed.

Alicia Keys 54:36 Right.

Jay Shetty 54:36 Maybe risk is okay for them and, but we're so qu- and you're so right that our friends, our family, and we, we do that to others, and-

Alicia Keys 54:43 Mm

Jay Shetty 54:43 ... we do it to our partners as well. Like, when they're just saying, "Hey, you know what? I think I need a weekend off this weekend," and you're like, "No, maybe there's a few things you need to get done," [laughs] and they're like-

Alicia Keys 54:52 No, actually, you should rest. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 54:53 Yeah, and, and you're so... What you said so beautifully is we stop people from trusting themselves. Like, I think that-

Alicia Keys 54:59 Ugh

Jay Shetty 54:59 ... really resonated with me, and I, I think that's why I feel the fact that you've infused all these crystals into your offerings, I, I love that because it's, it, it's a daily reminder of trusting-

Alicia Keys 55:13 Yes

Jay Shetty 55:13 ... that when you s- I, I always say this to people, I'm like, "We don't use our senses enough." Like, the pow- scent is so powerful.

Alicia Keys 55:23 Mm.

Jay Shetty 55:24 Right?

Alicia Keys 55:24 So good.

Jay Shetty 55:24 And your products smell amazing.

Alicia Keys 55:26 So good.

Jay Shetty 55:26 Uh, and the scent's amazing, and it's like we underestimate how much we know what we need by scent. Like, I love it. I remember when I first got a massage and they brought out all the different oils-

Alicia Keys 55:36 Oh, yes

Jay Shetty 55:36 ... and they said-

Alicia Keys 55:36 Which one?

Jay Shetty 55:37 ... "Smell which one you want."

Alicia Keys 55:37 Right. Which one?

Jay Shetty 55:38 And they were like, "You'll know by smelling."

Alicia Keys 55:40 Right.

Jay Shetty 55:40 And I was like, "What does that mean?" And then you do it, and then you're like, "Oh, wait a minute. I do know."

Alicia Keys 55:44 I do know.

Jay Shetty 55:44 Like, I do know that I need number three, which has lavender and eucalyptus or whatever it is-

Alicia Keys 55:49 Right

Jay Shetty 55:49 ... because I'm seeking rest and relaxation.

Alicia Keys 55:52 Ah, yes.

Jay Shetty 55:53 Or I do need citrus because I'm seeking energy.

Alicia Keys 55:55 Ah.

Jay Shetty 55:55 And, and you know, right?

Alicia Keys 55:57 You do know.

Jay Shetty 55:57 But, but we don't use that scent. We don't use our power of scent, of sight, of sound-

Alicia Keys 56:02 Mm

Jay Shetty 56:03 ... to know what we need.

Alicia Keys 56:04 And the part that I love about what you said and, and the knowing, the affirmation on the Illuminating Serum is, "I give myself permission to glow."

Jay Shetty 56:15 Ooh.

Alicia Keys 56:16 Because I just... So many times we just... Or we stunt the growth, or we stunt the glow, or we feel embarrassed by the fact that we are, you know, bright and f- or we, to your point about the addiction to the negative, like if we are feeling good, how many times have you felt good but your friend wasn't feeling so good, so you kinda... They might say, "Well, how are you feeling?" You're like, "I'm all right." But you're really actually great.

Jay Shetty 56:41 Yeah. [laughs]

Alicia Keys 56:42 And you're actually glowing. And I think sometimes we dim, you know, I know we dim our light, which is another affirmation on the, on the candle is, is, um, you know, this idea of not dimming your light.

Jay Shetty 56:56 Mm.

Alicia Keys 56:57 Like, don't dial it back, you know? Because we do it, and w- and it's only because we don't... We wanna be kind to the people that we're around. But I think we, there's an inspiration-

Jay Shetty 57:09 Mm

Alicia Keys 57:09 ... that comes from giving yourself permission to glow. There's the empowerment that y- a person looks at you and says, "They

Alicia Keys 57:16 don't, they look like..."

Jay Shetty 57:17 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 57:17 And I wanna feel like that.

Jay Shetty 57:18 Yeah. Yeah.

Alicia Keys 57:19 Like, I'm gonna do more of that.

Jay Shetty 57:21 Mm.

Alicia Keys 57:21 You know, giving yourself that permission. I love that. I really... It's a really special reminder.

Jay Shetty 57:26 Mm. What are your go-to rituals when you are having a day that is just hard, stressful, tough, demanding? What, what's your go-to non-negotiable set of rituals that Alicia Keys turns to when-

Alicia Keys 57:39 [laughs] When it's really, really crazy

Jay Shetty 57:40 ... yeah, when it's really tough?

Alicia Keys 57:42 I definitely find that I, I, my, one of my go-tos is for sure a meditation. I just find that I try my best to meditate frequently so that I do find that that balances you. You don't have to kinda fix what's happening. You, you find a continuity with the, the, with the balance. But I do find that when I need it, I really, I really relate to a meditation. It, it kind of just brings me back to the center. It brings me back to, again, that quietness. I get a second of quiet. Even if I have to wake up before the kids, I'm gonna wake up at 5:30 so I can have 20 minutes of just like... Or I'm gonna wake up at s- 5:45, whatever it is, and I really find that settles my spirit. 'Cause usually if I'm having a tough one, I'm not sleeping well either.

Jay Shetty 58:31 Mm.

Alicia Keys 58:31 Because it's just, like, the internal noise and all those things. So I really, I really love to ground there. I will journal. I find that the journaling is also really, again, I've always had to just kind of release-

Jay Shetty 58:46 Mm-hmm

Alicia Keys 58:46 ... things more freely than I find I can do with other people. So that really helps. A really good workout. Key.

Jay Shetty 58:54 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 58:55 Key. Get me sweating. Get me kinda like, you know, just like feel your power of your body. That helps me a lot. Um, then of course I'm gonna wash my face. I'm gonna release, as we talked about, the Golden Cleanser is gonna let me, like, let it go. I have this beautiful Rich Transformation Cream, and on it it says, "I welcome all circumstances-

Jay Shetty 59:16 Mm

Alicia Keys 59:16 ... as a catalyst for change."

Jay Shetty 59:19 Wow.

Alicia Keys 59:19 And so I can probably-

Jay Shetty 59:20 Wow. I love that one

Alicia Keys 59:21 ... reflect on the fact that this doesn't, this isn't bad or good. This is just a catalyst to change something. And then I get my Illuminating Serum on because I'm gonna be glowing.

Jay Shetty 59:32 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 59:33 And I'm giving myself the permission.

Jay Shetty 59:34 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 59:35 And I do love a bath. I do love a bath. I do love, you know, back to the oils or the herbs. I find that, uh, even the crystals can come into play if I need to just kind of like release something. And definitely in- the intentions and the affirmations come into play because I find that whatever's bothering me, I'll kinda... It's something that's challenging me. Maybe I don't wanna fail at something, or I don't wanna, I don't want something to go wrong or... And I kind of use that to say whatever it is that I might need. And, um, you know, hey,

Alicia Keys 1:00:08 sometimes it's just gonna be a hard day.

Jay Shetty 1:00:09 Mm.

Alicia Keys 1:00:10 Maybe it be a hard week. Maybe it be a hard month. But doing that consistently, I know I'm fueling myself, and I'm pouring in there, and I feel better.

Jay Shetty 1:00:20 Mm. What works for kids? Like, what rituals do you feel you've actually been able to pass on? Because they're young, and I always feel like a lot of parents want their kids to do things, but I feel like you may be mindful in knowing what works and what doesn't and-

Alicia Keys 1:00:34 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:00:34 ... them having their boundaries.

Alicia Keys 1:00:35 I love that.

Jay Shetty 1:00:35 What, what, what do they like and what, what do they not like? And-

Alicia Keys 1:00:37 Well, I used to force Egypt to meditate with me.

Jay Shetty 1:00:40 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 1:00:40 I was like, "You want whatever you want, come meditate with me."

Jay Shetty 1:00:44 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:00:44 That worked for a while. He's really big now, and, and he's 13. So I feel like I could still kind of push him into it, but it was cool because he, I think he, when I do my meditation, he can say every word. It's Ogun Genesis. And even though they don't necessarily do it with me all the time, they know it, and they feel it, and they hear it. And so I do think that idea of kind of like just sitting with yourself, again, is a great practice for kids because, you know, it doesn't have to be long. Five minutes, it's cool. Really quick. Um, a lot of the times I'm also, I'm also talking to my kids a lot about gratitude. I think gratitude is the key, key-

Jay Shetty 1:01:21 Yeah

Alicia Keys 1:01:21 ... it's the most simple but potent key to changing the energy. I know I've felt times before where I'm like, I'm just pissed off because someone did something, and I'm like, "You." And I'm sick of them trying to... Sick of it, and I am steaming. And I'll just, like, start to list what I'm grateful for. It changes everything. Everything. And I try to also share with my kids that, you know, s- give thanks. Give thanks and also pray. Make a prayer for what it is you're thankful for and what it is you're looking for, and I promise you, you will open every door for yourself. I promise. Every time I leave the room, my older one, sometimes I'll pray with him. Sometimes I let him, you know, be in his own zone.

Jay Shetty 1:02:08 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:02:08 And I say, "Don't forget to pray." Like, don't forget to s- just be grateful and pray, because the gratitude is like... Is, is key. I really do feel that it's a, it's a key ingredient to settling, and definitely to joy. Um, which I think is the, what we're all looking for.

Jay Shetty 1:02:26 Absolutely.

Alicia Keys 1:02:27 Right?

Jay Shetty 1:02:27 Absolutely.

Alicia Keys 1:02:28 Is joy.

Jay Shetty 1:02:29 I love hearing what you're passing on to the kids, and I, I think so much of it is them watching you do it.

Alicia Keys 1:02:33 Right.

Jay Shetty 1:02:33 Or them doing it with you.

Alicia Keys 1:02:34 Right.

Jay Shetty 1:02:34 And I think you're setting a good example, and that makes it easier, because there's only so much you can tell a kid to do something. But if you're there doing it, showing up, turning up-

Alicia Keys 1:02:42 Right. Then they do it

Jay Shetty 1:02:42 ... they're, they're gonna join you.

Alicia Keys 1:02:43 They get used to it.

Jay Shetty 1:02:44 Yeah, they get used to it. And they, and they see that at least mom values it, and-

Alicia Keys 1:02:47 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:02:48 You know.

Alicia Keys 1:02:49 Right.

Jay Shetty 1:02:49 Even their names, though, like Egypt and Genesis. Like, I feel like those names are so powerful.

Alicia Keys 1:02:53 Man, I love those names.

Jay Shetty 1:02:55 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:02:55 They-

Jay Shetty 1:02:55 They're really powerful.

Alicia Keys 1:02:56 Poof. I mean, yeah, Egypt, it's been so cool because, like, even just as watching him grow, and he's always been super into architecture and math. And I'm like, man, maybe that, I feel like the name connection really brought that to him in so many ways. And, and Genesis is like, whoa. I'm like, we might have needed to rethink naming that boy Genesis. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:03:20 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 1:03:20 But it's so good. He's so, like, kind of strong and clear, and you know, he's, he's, he's, he's, he doesn't, you know, he doesn't bend. And I really appreciate that for him, because I spent so much of my life bending and contorting and shifting and changing and trying to please, that I love that he's like, "No."

Jay Shetty 1:03:41 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 1:03:42 Mm-mm. And he won't.

Alicia Keys 1:03:45 It- that's it.

Jay Shetty 1:03:46 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:03:46 I'm like, "Okay, I'm gonna need you to try to be a little bit fluid."

Jay Shetty 1:03:49 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 1:03:49 Like, a little fluid on occasion. Not every time.

Jay Shetty 1:03:52 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:03:52 Just once in a while. But I love that for him. I love that he's clear. He's clear, and that's it.

Jay Shetty 1:03:57 Mm-hmm. What's something you've been trying to learn recently or work on recently internally for yourself?

Alicia Keys 1:04:03 Yeah. What have I been-

Jay Shetty 1:04:03 The kids are working.

Alicia Keys 1:04:04 Right?

Jay Shetty 1:04:04 What have you been?

Alicia Keys 1:04:06 I think I've just been working on just listening.

Jay Shetty 1:04:11 Hmm.

Alicia Keys 1:04:12 Yeah. I think that we all have such big personalities. I think, I feel for the kids sometimes. Like, their dad has this huge personality, and we ha- have this big personality, and I, I, I, I, I answer every question and I react to everything and I'm always saying, "Mm, yeah. Oh, yeah." And sometimes I'm like, I think I can just be more silent. You know, I think I can just actually, let me allow them the space to... And, and everybody, the space to just kind of feel, share, say what they're saying without neither encouragement nor discouragement. Just, like, receive what they're saying, saying, and let them just speak. So I, I think the listening is, is really cool. Not always reacting, not always sharing, not always saying something. Just, like, being more, more s- more silent, more taking the space to just-

Jay Shetty 1:05:06 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:05:07 That's what I'm working on.

Jay Shetty 1:05:08 Yeah, I love that. I, I couldn't agree with you more. I think it's like, it's such a rare thing, actually-

Alicia Keys 1:05:14 Hmm

Jay Shetty 1:05:14 ... for someone to actually just listen and not have a reaction.

Alicia Keys 1:05:18 Right.

Jay Shetty 1:05:19 And, and for them to know that they can keep...

Jay Shetty 1:05:22 I feel like when you listen that way, people feel like they can actually speak from a deeper place. They're not just thinking and speaking, they're feeling and speaking because you're listening from a, from a feeling space as well.

Alicia Keys 1:05:33 Yes.

Jay Shetty 1:05:34 And I wonder, how do, how do you explain fame to them, or explain... Or, or do they, how do they, how do they interact with, you said you're big personalities, but both of you have big lives. Like, how do they make sense-

Alicia Keys 1:05:47 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:05:47 ... of it, or are they still too young and they don't?

Alicia Keys 1:05:49 I mean, they're pretty present.

Jay Shetty 1:05:50 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:05:50 You know, they're pretty present. I think about that often. I mean, I'm, I'm very much about, I want us all in spaces that feel very, very normal. Like, I am very, very, like, about that. I love to take them to their classes and I love to drop them off at school, and I love to, like, we go and we go to the, you know, we go hang out at the park or we go somewhere. We do what we do. And I really love that ease. So I really want to put them in environments that feel like that. So of course, you know, on the other side, they're on the tour bus for three months, and that's also different.

Jay Shetty 1:06:30 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:06:30 So they, I think, but I do think they have a pretty good balance about it all, and they're pretty, like, everyday kids, you know? And I love that about them, too. I wonder how it feels or how they affect them. They're, they're both very empathetic.

Jay Shetty 1:06:44 Mm-hmm.

Alicia Keys 1:06:45 Like, I know sometimes if we're out and someone, you know, they might've caught someone who wants to take a picture. "But Mom, just take a picture, Mom."

Jay Shetty 1:06:51 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 1:06:51 And you know, when it's the right time, I'm like, "Okay, cool."

Jay Shetty 1:06:53 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:06:53 But if it's the wrong time, then it's also-

Jay Shetty 1:06:55 Yeah

Alicia Keys 1:06:55 ... but I'll go say hello.

Jay Shetty 1:06:56 Yes.

Alicia Keys 1:06:56 So happy to see you. Hope you're great. Thanks for saying hi. And it just might not be the right time, and that's okay, too.

Jay Shetty 1:07:03 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:07:03 So just showing them the boundaries, too, and, um, and, but I think that, you know, sometimes, sometimes they'll say, Genesis will be like, "Ma, you know, in school they, they, they, they were like, 'That's Alicia Keys.'" And it's like, so annoying And I'm like, "That is annoying"

Jay Shetty 1:07:22 [laughs] Oh, that's so cute. Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:07:22 I feel you. That's annoying. [laughs] But you could just tell him that's your mom.

Jay Shetty 1:07:26 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:07:27 Like, you could just tell him, "I know that's... I see what you mean, but that's actually just my mom."

Jay Shetty 1:07:30 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:07:31 So you could tell him that.

Jay Shetty 1:07:32 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 1:07:32 And then, and then Egypt, k- you know, he's, he's getting big and really strong in basketball, and he's, like, doing so many amazing things. He has a great instinct and, you know, really, like, when we'll walk into a room, it'll be me and Swiss, and, and it's, if it's in the basketball universe, they'll be like, "There's Egypt." Like, they actually are starting-

Jay Shetty 1:07:50 Yeah

Alicia Keys 1:07:50 ... to know Egypt's talent, and so it's really good, and it's wonderful that he has all of his own space.

Jay Shetty 1:07:56 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:07:56 And I think sometimes he might feel like, "I, I... That's what I want."

Jay Shetty 1:07:59 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:07:59 "I wanna make sure that it's not because of-

Jay Shetty 1:08:02 Yeah

Alicia Keys 1:08:02 ... whatever else," you know?

Jay Shetty 1:08:03 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:08:03 And so I, I feel for them, but I think that they, they're pretty cool about everything. They have a good head on their shoulders, you know? They're, they're kind, they're loving, they're thoughtful.

Jay Shetty 1:08:13 That's beautiful.

Alicia Keys 1:08:14 I'm really, I'm really proud of them for, all of them, you know. We have a beautiful, big, blended family-

Jay Shetty 1:08:19 Yeah

Alicia Keys 1:08:19 ... and I'm proud of all of them because it's like each has such a special, unique, cool personality. And I'm just like, y'all are, like, really cool.

Jay Shetty 1:08:27 I love it. I feel like you've been able to... You know, you've been in the music industry for so long. I mean, I, I wanna know how Hell's Kitchen felt.

Alicia Keys 1:08:35 [sighs]

Jay Shetty 1:08:36 Like, to be able to take parts of your story, inspire, you know, uh, to see your music on Broadway. I mean-

Alicia Keys 1:08:45 [sighs]

Jay Shetty 1:08:46 ... that feels like... Was it, was it a different challenge? Like, what, what was, what was the... What was that like for you to have to go from recording in studios, making music, traveling, to then doing Broadway? Like, what did that look like for you? How were you creatively involved?

Alicia Keys 1:09:02 It was definitely... As you said, it's been a 13-year process, and I think that's made it very cool. Like, really almost enjoyable because whereas maybe sometimes with y- because it was such a passion project, I knew it wasn't all gonna happen quickly or at once. And so I would be able to kinda take myself out of my, like, quote, unquote, "normal life" and go into this workshop phase with Hell's Kitchen, and, and I'd be able to figure out, like, what are...

Alicia Keys 1:09:35 you know, what's the storylines? Me and the writer, the book writer, would get to it, and we'd say, "Here's the themes, and here's the characters, and here's the stories, and let's start to build this universe." And then when the director came in, Michael Greif, you know, he was really instrumental. He's kind of like that... Me and Chris Diaz, who's the book writer, are a little bit more the newbies, and then Michael Greif is, like, the, like, the parental figure. He's like, "This is what we do. We do this, we do this, we do this. We're good." And sure enough, we'd be like, "Wow."

Jay Shetty 1:10:05 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 1:10:05 "We, we needed that. We didn't really know where we were going."

Jay Shetty 1:10:08 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:10:08 So he was like a beautiful guiding light. And then as time passed, you know, being able to connect with the Public Theater, who's the, who's the theater who did, you know, Hamilton and A Chorus Line and all of these incredible, incredible shows, even the Softs they did, and, you know, there's so many beautiful things that they... That created another level of, like, clarity and just, like, refinement and really being able to bring it to life. So all these things kind of happen in pockets. Like, you know, it'll be a three-week process, and then we'll hold tight for a minute. It'll be a two-month process, and then we'll hold tight a minute. And then it'll be six months of just he- heavy, and then we'll hold tight a minute. And so it really gave me the capacity to hold the container for the story and, and for the meaning. And I would always be able to come back to it and say, "This feels right," or-

Jay Shetty 1:10:59 Mm

Alicia Keys 1:10:59 ... "Something's wrong about that. We have to figure that out."

Jay Shetty 1:11:02 Mm.

Alicia Keys 1:11:02 And then when we brought in the choreographer, she became another part of this beautiful tapestry when she was creating movement around the songs in a way that I just never heard it before. And my, uh, the, the orchestrator, who's also been a partner from, to me in many ways musically, Adam Blackstone, you know, we would create different versions and instrumentals, and I wrote new songs. And so it was all these pieces and parts, and you could start to feel little by little how it was all the right timing. But I feel like the biggest, I wouldn't call it a challenge. I'm looking for the right word. The biggest-

Jay Shetty 1:11:39 Growth or?

Alicia Keys 1:11:40 Yeah. Maybe the biggest, the biggest growth or the biggest awakening-

Jay Shetty 1:11:43 Mm

Alicia Keys 1:11:44 ... that I had with it was realizing that I could take this moment and I could almost take everything that I ever didn't do right-

Jay Shetty 1:11:55 Mm

Alicia Keys 1:11:57 ... and I could fix it. I could learn from it. I could take it, the knowledge, and I could put it into this process, and I can fix it. I could do it right because I actually had the, the, the experience. And so my, the intellectual experience that I had gave me the ability to really look at it in a way that I had truly never had before. And then because of that knowledge, really cultivating the strongest team of really awesome people in this particular universe to assist me as a newbie, you know, as a person who hadn't quite traversed this path yet, was so inspiring and enlightening and empowering to really see that when everybody is the best at their field, you really can create something that truly is magical. And so I learned so much from it, and obviously, that's been years and years and years and years and years. And, um, and even just seeing it off-Broadway and having to navigate our way through how can we perfect the story, and there's still more to perfect, there's still more to craft. And doing that and being open and listening and really just being open, too, was tremendously rewarding.

Jay Shetty 1:13:20 Wow.

Alicia Keys 1:13:20 So, so that day when we got that announcement that we had been nominated for 13 Tonys-

Jay Shetty 1:13:26 Yeah

Alicia Keys 1:13:27 It was freaky. The 13, the 13, it was just all like-

Jay Shetty 1:13:31 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 1:13:32 ... something's really divine here.

Jay Shetty 1:13:33 Wow.

Alicia Keys 1:13:34 And it was unbelievable. So it's been such a hands-on... I mean, I, I am notoriously anal.

Jay Shetty 1:13:43 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 1:13:44 But in the best, most loving way.

Jay Shetty 1:13:46 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:13:47 Because I just, I know what it's supposed to be, and I'm not gonna let it go until it's right what it's meant to be.

Jay Shetty 1:13:52 Have you always been like that with all your music since day one and everything? Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:13:55 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:13:56 It takes that.

Alicia Keys 1:13:57 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:13:57 It's what it takes, yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:13:58 And I've also learned how to, like, back off too.

Jay Shetty 1:14:00 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:14:00 Like, you know what? Let it, let it flow. Let it vibe.

Jay Shetty 1:14:03 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:14:03 It's okay. You gotta back off of it sometimes, but I am definitely smidge of a control freak.

Jay Shetty 1:14:09 Yeah. [laughs]

Alicia Keys 1:14:10 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:14:11 How, how have you... Yeah, walk me through how you've refined that perfectionism, because in one sense, the reason why you have 16 Grammys and, you know, all the rest of it is because all the success has come from that level of work and ethic and effort and perfection and p- you know, all of that, like tinkering and iterations and, and everything. And then where have you learned to let go? Or where have you... What, what is it that you've done to flow? At what point do you allow it to flow? If someone's listening and they're like, "Alicia, I'm a perfectionist too-

Alicia Keys 1:14:42 Right. What do I do?

Jay Shetty 1:14:43 ... and I, I don't..." Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:14:45 I think that, you know, definitely having the vision for what you want to create is wonderful, and a- you likely are the only person that has that vision. If you, you know, pass that off to somebody, the vision will shift, right? So, which might be needed at a certain point. But I think being comfortable saying, "I, I really have this vision. I'm very clear about it," and following that is wonderful. Then I think starting to let other special, not just anybody,

Alicia Keys 1:15:19 but special folks who you realize they, they're additive, you know, that what you create together or what they bring to the table can enhance the vision, it is important to let that in. 'Cause if you don't let it in, you're gonna actually steal from the vision ultimately. So I think that has been a beautiful process when, when you... And when you know that feels right, you know. When it doesn't feel right and it's super hard and it's like a struggle and you're arguing every- okay, it's not the right person.

Jay Shetty 1:15:52 Mm.

Alicia Keys 1:15:52 You can let that go. But when you do see that things or people are becoming additive, it's really good to allow that in, allow that to, to come in. And then you get inspired more, and you're like, "Ooh, I didn't know that we could do that."

Jay Shetty 1:16:08 Yeah. [laughs]

Alicia Keys 1:16:08 "Now I can take that and make it even better because we've brought that part into it." So I think that's a really special part of the creative process is, and I have learned that with even songwriting, like, so fun when you start to bring additional energies into the space. Not all the time, so you lose sight of your vision or of your center. That's happened to me too. I'm like, "Wait, let me go back to the simplest because I've made this a bit complicated or, you know, overly done." But I think there's something really great about that, and then you keep seeing that it's growing and it's adding. And then you, you can still hold space for the vision, but allow what helps it in and what makes it grow in and what makes it better in. And, and I don't think you have to be worried about that. It's a beautiful thing.

Jay Shetty 1:16:58 Yeah. I've definitely developed so much more respect and appreciation even more than I already had for artists the closer I've got to the industry-

Alicia Keys 1:17:06 Mm

Jay Shetty 1:17:07 ... just from watching because you forget that so many projects are truly pure passion-

Alicia Keys 1:17:15 Right

Jay Shetty 1:17:15 ... and that they took 10, 15, 20 years.

Alicia Keys 1:17:18 Right.

Jay Shetty 1:17:18 And when you hear about something like that, that you're saying for someone like yourself who's already successful, already has tons of accolades in an, in an area that's directly related, but then to think you had to wait 13 years and work for 13 years to pull that off-

Alicia Keys 1:17:33 Right

Jay Shetty 1:17:34 ... you, you start recognizing that it takes so much patience and love even when you have already proved yourself. Because I think there's this feeling that you, people can get tired of proving themselves-

Alicia Keys 1:17:48 Mm

Jay Shetty 1:17:48 ... or having to prove themselves.

Alicia Keys 1:17:49 That's right.

Jay Shetty 1:17:50 And it can feel exhausting sometimes.

Alicia Keys 1:17:51 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:17:52 But the truth is that if you're growing and you're building and you have something you care about-

Alicia Keys 1:17:56 Right

Jay Shetty 1:17:56 ... you're constantly having to-

Alicia Keys 1:17:58 Right

Jay Shetty 1:17:58 ... prove yourself in a new space.

Alicia Keys 1:18:00 Right. And I think there's, there's something really exciting about that too 'cause I think if you could open every door-

Jay Shetty 1:18:11 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 1:18:12 ... you, you would take it for granted. You know? You go, "I could open that door too, and I'll open that door, and I'll..." And yes, can we open every door? Yes. We actually can open every door, but is it always gonna be easy or the simplest? No. It's gonna take time, and you're gonna have to figure it out and work your way through it and come back to those places that you're like, "Ugh, I gotta dredge up this confidence again."

Jay Shetty 1:18:35 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 1:18:35 Like, "I thought I was good in this department, and here it goes again." And all those learnings and challenges that kinda takes you through just being a human being, um, is I think the beautiful part and, and the excitement and the thrill and the stimulus and, and then you're like, "I, I'm, I am willing to work for this. I'm willing to put in the time for this. I'm willing to even fail. I'm even will-" And what does that mean? What does it even mean? Actually, I don't know what that means. I am willing to work and to try, and whatever comes from it is going to be what I need.

Jay Shetty 1:19:11 Mm.

Alicia Keys 1:19:11 It's gonna be exactly what's needed.

Jay Shetty 1:19:13 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:19:14 So it's, it's, it's beautiful. I really, I really enjoy it, and I really find that I'm more grateful than ever for sure for being able to spread my wings and be, um, ceilingless or be edgeless because- I really want to be able to explore as much as I can, and it feels really good to keep trying and, and, but most important, I think the seed of what you said is the love. It's all that matter. If you, if, if there's something that you love, go after it.

Jay Shetty 1:19:45 Mm.

Alicia Keys 1:19:45 'Cause it's meant for you.

Jay Shetty 1:19:49 Mm.

Alicia Keys 1:19:49 And it might not be the way that you thought it was gonna be, or the length of time you thought it was gonna take, or whatever all the other things are, but man, it's, I know it's meant for you if you love it.

Jay Shetty 1:19:58 Yeah. Yeah, you'll get to where you want in life, just not in the way you imagined it.

Alicia Keys 1:20:02 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:20:03 The timeline will be different.

Alicia Keys 1:20:04 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:20:04 The way it looks will be different. The way it feels might be different.

Alicia Keys 1:20:07 Mm.

Jay Shetty 1:20:08 Even how you visioned it may be completely different.

Alicia Keys 1:20:10 Right.

Jay Shetty 1:20:10 But you'll get there.

Alicia Keys 1:20:11 Right.

Jay Shetty 1:20:12 And the journey will probably be better and a better story than you imagined it to be.

Alicia Keys 1:20:18 Ever.

Jay Shetty 1:20:19 And hearing you say that is so, so fulfilling. I wanna ask you, um, one more question before we end with a final five, and this question's more just, just the way I've experienced you, even today, I'm like, you've been in the industry for so long, since you were 18, you said, you know, so much success, moved around, done so many different things, and I feel like any time I've been with you, your energy's always, like, upbeat.

Alicia Keys 1:20:41 Mm.

Jay Shetty 1:20:41 You've always been positive. You've always been giving. Like, there's always been a, a, a really nice, uh, spirit and way about you that you have. And I feel like-

Alicia Keys 1:20:49 Thank you

Jay Shetty 1:20:50 ... you, you've never become jaded by the industry or jaded by things around you, and you see that a lot for people, and not in a judgmental way. You observe it. But it seems like you've protected and carved out your space and, and y- your, like, happy place and your safe space. And I was wondering, how have you done that when so many people can look at something and be like, "Oh, well, I don't wanna..." You know, people will be like, "I don't wanna be too Hollywood. I don't wanna do too this. I don't wanna too, go too that." But it feels like you've been able to protect yourself regardless, you know, being in a big thing, and I, I wonder how you've been able to do that and how you've been able to craft that.

Alicia Keys 1:21:25 Oh, man. This is... I love this question. I think that one of the, back to the gifts of what I got from my mother, you know, she was always really kind of, somehow she made me think about how I made people feel. And I remember that. I remember... You know, it'd be simple things. I'd change my mind about going to a birthday party, and she would be like, "Well, how would that make you feel?" And so somehow she helped me to find my empathy, and I can put myself into other people's shoes. And I really appreciate. That was a gift. And so I can look around me,

Alicia Keys 1:22:12 and I can feel empathy for other people. Like, I want to connect with people. I care about that. I love bringing good e- I want people to bring me good energy. I don't want to bring someone else anything else but good energy. Like, I, I care about the energy that I cultivate in a space. And I also have learned that if I can't bring that energy, then I can remove myself from that space. Like, I don't have to be in a space if I'm not feeling good.

Jay Shetty 1:22:40 Mm.

Alicia Keys 1:22:40 You know? 'Cause I can also not feel good. I don't have to always feel good either.

Jay Shetty 1:22:44 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 1:22:44 That part was a, um, a lesson. Took me a while-

Jay Shetty 1:22:47 Yeah

Alicia Keys 1:22:47 ... to get there too. You know? But, um, but I appreciate that I can, I want to bring that. I'm conscious of what I'm bringing into a space and into a room, and I want what I bring into a space to be something that feels good.

Jay Shetty 1:23:01 Mm.

Alicia Keys 1:23:02 And, and so I think that that's kind of, that's it.

Jay Shetty 1:23:06 Mm.

Alicia Keys 1:23:07 I think that's really it. And so just the distinction between the two, giving myself permission to maybe not feel like I can fill that space, is great. And then when I can and when I'm ready, I do, and that's what I want to do. I want to bring that. And I hold other people to that. I'm like, "Hey, I don't bring you that energy. I don't, I don't ex- I don't want you to bring me that energy," you know? Because my energy is precious, and it's important, and it's special, and, and it's just not free. I don't just give it to those who don't deserve it.

Jay Shetty 1:23:38 Mm.

Alicia Keys 1:23:39 So I also had to learn the value, back to one of my gaps, of who I am and what, what my energy is and what a gift it is to be able... All of our energy is a gift, and we can kind of choose how do, how do we want to give it.

Jay Shetty 1:23:57 Mm-hmm.

Alicia Keys 1:23:58 Um, and so I love that, and, and learning when it's, when to give it and when not to give it has also been a part of the journey too. I think I'm doing better with that.

Jay Shetty 1:24:08 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 1:24:08 [laughs] I think I'm doing better. Man, a lot of undeserving people got a lot of good Alicia energy in.

Jay Shetty 1:24:13 Oh, really?

Alicia Keys 1:24:14 And it's like, man, no more of that. No more of that. Like, you gotta know your limits, you know? Like, okay, cool, that doesn't mean I have to be unkind to that person, but they don't have to get my best beautiful energy. They can kind of just-

Jay Shetty 1:24:27 Yeah

Alicia Keys 1:24:27 ... hold tight over there.

Jay Shetty 1:24:29 Yeah. And you only realize that by giving it and knowing that you over-gave or under-gave.

Alicia Keys 1:24:34 Right. Right, right, right.

Jay Shetty 1:24:35 And, and you only know that by trying it out. Like, I, I know there are people in my life who I believe deserve way more-

Alicia Keys 1:24:40 Right

Jay Shetty 1:24:40 ... better energy from me because they always have that from me.

Alicia Keys 1:24:42 Right.

Jay Shetty 1:24:43 And I maybe overspent in this area. And it's like looking at your bank balance at the end of the month and going, "Where did I overspend and where did I underspend?"

Alicia Keys 1:24:50 Mm.

Jay Shetty 1:24:50 And energy's the same thing. Where did I overspend my energy, and who did I overspend my energy with, and who did I underspend with?

Alicia Keys 1:24:57 Facts.

Jay Shetty 1:24:57 And, and let me reflect on that. I love that.

Alicia Keys 1:24:59 I love that.

Jay Shetty 1:25:00 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:25:00 Thank you.

Jay Shetty 1:25:01 Alicia, I, I, I've met... The first time we ever did the interview was only audio. It was during the pandemic.

Alicia Keys 1:25:05 Right.

Jay Shetty 1:25:06 And I remember, like, obviously, I mean, it's a no-brainer that you have the most beautiful voice, but I remember just listening to you because we were so present because I could just hear you.

Alicia Keys 1:25:14 And it was a time.

Jay Shetty 1:25:15 Yeah, and it was a, and it was a time.

Alicia Keys 1:25:16 It was a time.

Jay Shetty 1:25:16 Exactly. It was a time. Uh, but I'm so grateful to be able to see all your expressions today and just-

Alicia Keys 1:25:21 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:25:22 ... you know, s- see you come to life. And we end every On Purpose interview with what we call a Final Five. Every question has to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum

Alicia Keys 1:25:31 One word or one sentence

Jay Shetty 1:25:32 Two sentence. Yeah, but I'll probably ask you for more because I always-

Alicia Keys 1:25:35 You sure?

Jay Shetty 1:25:35 ... break my own rules.

Alicia Keys 1:25:36 All right.

Jay Shetty 1:25:36 Uh, but-

Alicia Keys 1:25:37 I'll try to be swift

Jay Shetty 1:25:38 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:25:38 I'm not good at that.

Jay Shetty 1:25:38 Yeah. [laughs]

Alicia Keys 1:25:39 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:25:40 It doesn't matter. It's fine. Uh, Alicia Keys, these are your final five. So question number one: What is the best advice you've ever had or received?

Alicia Keys 1:25:49 Nothing before its time. My grandmother. Nothing before its time.

Jay Shetty 1:25:52 I love that one. Uh, question number two: What is the worst advice you ever had or received?

Alicia Keys 1:25:56 [laughs] The worst, the worst advice that I ever received was that I had to kind of change myself to be accepted or that I was, had to, even if I felt uncomfortable, I should do a thing because it's what, you know, was gonna be best received.

Jay Shetty 1:26:17 Hmm. Yeah. That's, it's good to hear. I always like to make a list of all the worst advice everyone's had because people are gonna hear it again.

Alicia Keys 1:26:24 Right

Jay Shetty 1:26:25 And hopefully they'll remember this moment when they hear it.

Alicia Keys 1:26:27 It's a good book.

Jay Shetty 1:26:28 Uh, yeah. Question number three: What was it like to perform at the Super Bowl?

Alicia Keys 1:26:31 Oh, man.

Alicia Keys 1:26:32 It was crazy. It was totally insane. This is longer than a sentence.

Jay Shetty 1:26:37 Yeah, do it. It's fine

Alicia Keys 1:26:38 And it was, I found it so fascinating because it had to be built. The whole thing had to be built and they had to time it. In under three minutes it could be built, and then we had to have our performance in the amount, and it had to be tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. And so, and it was live. So it's crazy to see a live thing have to, like, operate in that level of, like, finite detail. I was, like, in awe. And then obviously the place and the people and the vibe and the energy, and it was just, like, really fun.

Jay Shetty 1:27:09 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:27:09 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:27:09 It was like your dress and the piano, and it was-

Alicia Keys 1:27:11 It was crazy

Jay Shetty 1:27:12 ... it was insane. Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:27:13 That was, and the, the, the, underneath the dress was the world's best puppeteers. So they were actually puppeteers underneath the dress to make it fly like that. That was f- fantastic too.

Jay Shetty 1:27:25 Wow. How did your control freak nature deal [laughs] with that? Like, three minutes and, like, the puppeteers and-

Alicia Keys 1:27:30 You know, I just, we had practiced-

Jay Shetty 1:27:32 Yeah

Alicia Keys 1:27:32 ... so distinctly that I knew everything that was gonna happen, and it was perfect.

Jay Shetty 1:27:37 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:27:37 And I just kinda, you know, control freak-

Jay Shetty 1:27:40 Mm

Alicia Keys 1:27:40 ... until you can't.

Jay Shetty 1:27:41 Yeah, yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:27:41 And, and as an artist, I just, at a certain point, when you're, when you're flowing and creating-

Jay Shetty 1:27:46 Mm

Alicia Keys 1:27:46 ... and writing and singing, you do just have to, like, be in the moment.

Jay Shetty 1:27:49 Mm.

Alicia Keys 1:27:49 So the control freak part comes when I'm designing-

Jay Shetty 1:27:53 Right

Alicia Keys 1:27:53 ... or creating the thing. But once I'm in the thing, you have to just go.

Jay Shetty 1:27:58 Oh, so that's beautiful. I love that.

Alicia Keys 1:27:59 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:27:59 That makes so much sense.

Alicia Keys 1:28:00 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:28:01 That's a great clarification on the earlier point too.

Alicia Keys 1:28:03 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 1:28:03 I love that.

Alicia Keys 1:28:03 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 1:28:04 And that completely makes sense.

Alicia Keys 1:28:05 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 1:28:05 In the architecture, the design, that's where the perfectionist kicks in.

Alicia Keys 1:28:08 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 1:28:08 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:28:08 Otherwise, though, it's like magic. Whatever happens.

Jay Shetty 1:28:11 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:28:11 Whatever happens, it's, it's perfect for that moment.

Jay Shetty 1:28:13 Yeah. That's beautiful. Uh-

Alicia Keys 1:28:14 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:28:15 ... question number four: What's the first offering you want me to use and the first offering you want Radhi to use?

Alicia Keys 1:28:19 Oh my God. [laughs] So good.

Jay Shetty 1:28:20 And I want you to give them to me now. You can share them.

Alicia Keys 1:28:23 Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. All right. Well, I want you both to wash your face-

Jay Shetty 1:28:27 Yes. [laughs]

Alicia Keys 1:28:27 ... with the Golden Cleanser. But I want you to use the Aura Mist.

Jay Shetty 1:28:33 Ooh.

Alicia Keys 1:28:33 It has-

Jay Shetty 1:28:34 Do I spray this on my pillow or on me?

Alicia Keys 1:28:34 It has rose. It has rose.

Jay Shetty 1:28:37 Ooh. I think we might start spraying this in the studio every time-

Alicia Keys 1:28:40 We should

Jay Shetty 1:28:40 ... now someone comes in.

Alicia Keys 1:28:41 And literally it just calms you instantly.

Jay Shetty 1:28:44 Oh, wow. I love the smell of that. Yeah, the scent's beautiful.

Alicia Keys 1:28:45 And it's I'm as free as the air.

Jay Shetty 1:28:47 Ooh.

Alicia Keys 1:28:47 So you are-

Jay Shetty 1:28:48 Oh, is that the affirmation?

Alicia Keys 1:28:49 That's the affirmation.

Jay Shetty 1:28:49 I'm as free as the air.

Alicia Keys 1:28:51 And you always are as free as the air.

Jay Shetty 1:28:53 Oh, that's beautiful.

Alicia Keys 1:28:53 But that's just a beautiful reminder.

Jay Shetty 1:28:55 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:28:55 And Rania, my best friend-

Jay Shetty 1:28:56 Yeah, that's beautiful

Alicia Keys 1:28:57 ... is, these are the Let Me Glow serums, and this one I think is the bronzite. I give my felt, self per- permission to grow. The bronze aura. So she's gonna get all three of these.

Jay Shetty 1:29:08 Okay.

Alicia Keys 1:29:08 Because she's glowing-

Jay Shetty 1:29:09 Yeah

Alicia Keys 1:29:09 ... and she's so spectacularly authentic. I just adore her. So Let Me Glow in all of the shades-

Jay Shetty 1:29:18 I love it

Alicia Keys 1:29:18 ... so that she can just be like ting, ting, ting, ting, ting-

Jay Shetty 1:29:21 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 1:29:21 ... 'cause she already glows. So we'll give that to her.

Jay Shetty 1:29:23 I love it.

Alicia Keys 1:29:23 I can't wait to see her.

Jay Shetty 1:29:24 I love it. I can't wait for you to see her as well. That's beautiful. Thank you so much. We're so excited.

Alicia Keys 1:29:28 Thank you.

Jay Shetty 1:29:29 And thank you for sending so much for my team as well. They're-

Alicia Keys 1:29:30 Yes

Jay Shetty 1:29:30 ... excited to use it as well, so.

Alicia Keys 1:29:31 Let everybody glow up.

Jay Shetty 1:29:32 I know. We appreciate it.

Alicia Keys 1:29:33 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:29:33 Appreciate it so much. Uh, fifth and final question: If you could, we ask this to every guest who's ever been on the show, if you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow-

Alicia Keys 1:29:43 Ooh

Jay Shetty 1:29:44 ... what would it be?

Alicia Keys 1:29:46 I think my law would be that you, you, you, you cannot hurt another being.

Jay Shetty 1:29:53 Mm.

Alicia Keys 1:29:54 You cannot hurt them physically. You cannot hurt them emotionally. You cannot hurt them. You cannot hurt another, another being. There's no reason. There's no difference. There's nothing that allows the physical or emotional or spiritual, you know, negligence or hurting-

Jay Shetty 1:30:19 Mm

Alicia Keys 1:30:20 ... of another being.

Jay Shetty 1:30:21 I think that's a great law. It's a great law, and then we'd actually have to look at why we'd want to hurt others and where that comes from-

Alicia Keys 1:30:29 Mm

Jay Shetty 1:30:29 ... and then actually heal our own hurt as well. So.

Alicia Keys 1:30:31 That's, that's-

Jay Shetty 1:30:32 Yeah

Alicia Keys 1:30:32 ... incredible.

Jay Shetty 1:30:33 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:30:33 I love that.

Jay Shetty 1:30:34 Yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:30:34 That would be really amazing if we could look to that.

Jay Shetty 1:30:40 It's beautiful. Alicia Keys, thank you so much. I'm-

Alicia Keys 1:30:44 It's the best ever

Jay Shetty 1:30:44 ... always happy when I'm with you.

Alicia Keys 1:30:47 Thank you.

Jay Shetty 1:30:47 I've, I've always enjoyed collaborating, and, uh, if only I could sing, you know? It's, uh, the, the-

Alicia Keys 1:30:52 We'd be doing a song

Jay Shetty 1:30:53 ... we'd be, we'd be doing, I know. It's just gonna-

Alicia Keys 1:30:54 But this is our song

Jay Shetty 1:30:55 ... yeah, that's our song.

Alicia Keys 1:30:55 You know?

Jay Shetty 1:30:56 I'm so grateful, and, uh-

Alicia Keys 1:30:57 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:30:58 ... I'm so excited for pe- people to use Keys Soulcare-

Alicia Keys 1:31:01 Thank you

Jay Shetty 1:31:01 ... and to have access to it and to transform their heart, their soul, their mind, and their body-

Alicia Keys 1:31:07 Yes

Jay Shetty 1:31:07 ... through this beautiful new offering. And even the intentionality, I was looking at how everything's called an offering.

Alicia Keys 1:31:12 Right.

Jay Shetty 1:31:12 There's no products.

Alicia Keys 1:31:13 Right.

Jay Shetty 1:31:13 It's called, uh, rituals, not just routines.

Alicia Keys 1:31:16 Right.

Jay Shetty 1:31:16 Like, I, I love all of that to it, and I think, I, I do believe that physical, and I'll call them products just for what I'm trying to say, but-

Alicia Keys 1:31:25 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:31:25 ... I think physical products are so important to remind us of what to do internally-

Alicia Keys 1:31:29 Yes, and we, we do-

Jay Shetty 1:31:30 ... because we use them every day

Alicia Keys 1:31:31 ... we do call them product offerings-

Jay Shetty 1:31:33 Yes, yes

Alicia Keys 1:31:33 ... so you can kind of, like, gel the two together.

Jay Shetty 1:31:35 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Alicia Keys 1:31:35 But you're right. It's like the physical embodiment, the embodying of the philosophy or-

Jay Shetty 1:31:41 Yeah

Alicia Keys 1:31:41 ... the practice. And-

Jay Shetty 1:31:42 Yeah

Alicia Keys 1:31:42 ... I love that, and you live that. You guys live that. And thank you for this such, such, for these questions that also made me pause and think about how I wanted to share them, and I love this show. This show is so good.

Jay Shetty 1:31:59 Thank you.

Alicia Keys 1:32:00 But you know that already 'cause it's like a smash. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:32:02 [laughs]

Alicia Keys 1:32:02 So what? [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:32:03 No, you're the best. It means the world. Thank you for trusting me.

Alicia Keys 1:32:06 Absolutely.

Jay Shetty 1:32:06 Genuinely, thank you so much.

Alicia Keys 1:32:07 You too.

Jay Shetty 1:32:07 Thank you for trusting me.

Alicia Keys 1:32:08 You too.

Jay Shetty 1:32:09 Thank you.

Alicia Keys 1:32:09 Big love.

Jay Shetty 1:32:10 Amazing. If this is the year that you're trying to get creative, you're trying to build more, I need you to listen to this episode with Rick Rubin on how to break into your most creative self, how to use unconventional methods that lead to success, and the secret to genuinely loving what you do. If you're trying to find your passion and your lane, Rick Rubin's episode is the one for you.

Speaker 1:32:34 Just because I like it, that doesn't give it any value. Like, as an artist, if you like it, that's all of the value. That's, the success comes when you say, "I like this enough for other people to see it."