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Jay Shetty PodcastJay Shetty Podcast

Charli D’Amelio: When I Hit 100M Followers I Was At My Lowest Mentally… @CharlidAmelio

Today, I welcome Charli D’Amelio, the 19-year-old who became a celebrity thanks to her rapid rise on TikTok where she has amassed over 150 million followers, making her the most followed person on the platform.

Charli D’AmelioguestJay Shettyhost
Oct 30, 20231h 32mWatch on YouTube

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Transcript

  1. 0:00 – 0:59

    Intro

    1. CD

      It was one day, no one cared what I did, no one cared what I wore, what I looked like, what I said, and then all of a sudden that was all anyone would talk about. I think back to some of the things that I said in interviews. "Yeah, hate comments don't bother me," and I was like, you went home and cried all night because of it. While filming Season 3, our entire family was going through a lot. It's hard to watch back those episodes. I say I don't know to everything, but the thing is, I don't know who I am.

    2. JS

      Before we jump into this episode, I'd like to invite you to join this community to hear more interviews that will help you become happier, healthier, and more healed. All I want you to do is click on the subscribe button. I love your support. It's incredible to see all your comments, and we're just getting started. I can't wait to go on this journey with you. Thank you so much for subscribing. It means the world to me.

    3. CD

      The bestselling author and host.

    4. JS

      The number one health and wellness podcast. On Purpose with Jay Shetty.

  2. 0:59 – 4:17

    Did Charli Just Get Lucky?!

    1. JS

      I want to say this to you because I don't think I've ever talked about this with you, but you come up in more conversations or when I'm doing keynotes on stages, and it's really funny because I kind of think of you randomly and often. I want to share this with you. I've never said this to you. And it comes up because I have watched your journey from afar, as everyone has, for such a long time, and I've really deeply admired just how phenomenally skilled you are at what you do. I think you're a phenomenal dancer. You're an incredible performer.

    2. CD

      Thank you.

    3. JS

      And if I'm ever presenting or talking to anyone about social media or digital, whatever it is, I always bring your name up because I think you're one of those people that obviously got your moment on TikTok when it took off and everything, but I feel like there were just years and years of practice and hard work that went behind it that we don't always see. And I just, I just wanted to share that with you as we kick off today, that I think it's incredible, and I think you've been practicing for this life that you live since you were, like, four years old. And so I, I always try and highlight that. And so I don't know. I, I think of you in that context often, so...

    4. CD

      No, thank you. I mean, I appreciate that. I think when it comes to social media, it's very easy to get on yourself and say it was just luck, but to hear that from someone like you is definitely, you know, puts it into a different perspective that I don't always let myself feel, which is really nice.

    5. JS

      Good. I'm glad. Thank you. Do you still kind of kid yourself and just say it's luck to yourself now after all these years? Do you still feel that way?

    6. CD

      I do, and I think that, you know, having that in the back of my mind definitely keeps me a little bit more humble and helps me, you know. This wasn't something that I was asking for or looking for, but, I mean, I've, all, like, my entire life, I've been filming videos, whether it's like I was 10 and, "Look at how I do this," or, "This is how I do my makeup." Like, always just making videos. That was always something I loved, and I never shared them with anyone until TikTok. So it's really, it's crazy to think back ab- about those times and how they probably really did help me get to where I am now.

    7. JS

      I love what you said, that luck or viewing your success as luck helps you stay humble. I think that's such a beautiful trait and quality to aspire for and to always practice. At the same time, though, I'm guessing that when you see it through the lens of luck, sometimes it can affect your self-esteem or self-worth because you're like, "Oh, I just got lucky, and maybe I don't deserve this."

    8. CD

      Oh, yeah.

    9. JS

      I don't know if those thoughts come up at the same time as trying to stay humble. There's this side of, like, low self-esteem that we all go through.

    10. CD

      I mean, absolutely. I think it's hard not to feel that way, especially a lot of my journey was everyone telling me that I didn't deserve it, kind of feeding into that, and it starting to really affect, you know, how I think about myself. Do I deserve anything? Why am I where I am? I don't do anything special. I'm not different than anyone. There's millions of people that would probably be better at my job than I am, but somehow it's me. And, you know, I kind

  3. 4:17 – 9:50

    Her Online Identity vs. Her Real-life Persona

    1. CD

      of try and separate myself online from who I am in person. I always like to say it's Charli D'Amelio who everyone else sees and Charli who I am when it's just me. And, you know, you really have to appreciate the things that you work hard for because I feel like those are the moments where I really do feel proud of myself because I don't always, even when achieving these amazing things, I'm like, "Well, it's not really me. It's the people that are watching me that got me here," you know? Like, they could have done this to anyone. But when it comes to things like Dancing with the Stars or hosting the Kids' Choice Awards, like, those were two of probably my favorite accomplishments of mine because I really felt like I had to work for that, and it was just moments where I w- I really, truly felt proud of myself, and I don't feel like that very often.

    2. JS

      Hmm. I'm so glad that you shared that with us because, yeah, it's, it's interesting, isn't it? It's like the reason why you did so well on both of those is because you've done it for years and years and years.

    3. CD

      Yeah.

    4. JS

      But sometimes you need to have a moment where you're working really hard on one specific thing so that you can see it. How long did it take you to make this awareness of, like, there's Charli D'Amelio, and then there's Charli? Like, how long did it take you to figure that out for yourself and to even explain it in that way?

    5. CD

      Yeah, it definitely took me a while. I always knew in the back of my mind, it was like I would do certain brand deals or ads, and they'd have this creative, and I do it, and I put on this, like, super happy, smiley, like, obviously catering to a younger audience, which I love doing, but that's not who I am at heart, and I think growing Up, and I started this when I was, what, 15 years old. And then I was turning 17 and 18, and I was, you know, getting tattoos, and I would curse, and everyone would be like, "Whoa, this is crazy." And I was like, "This is what I do in my normal day-to-day life, like, this is who I am." So I really just had to ... The version that people don't like isn't even me, you know? It's what they nitpick out of certain things that I do. And I think coming to that realization, honestly, over the past few months, maybe this past year, I think has been probably one of the most helpful things to not let what other people say get to me.

    6. JS

      I empathize and feel so compassionate for how difficult that could be to be that young and to have millions and millions and millions of people having an opinion on everything, from what you wear to what you say to what you do and who you date and just everything, right?

    7. CD

      Yeah.

    8. JS

      Like, I can't imagine being your age and being put under a magnifying glass, like, in the way you have, which I think is also very unique because I think TikTok put people under a magnifying glass in a way that it also never been done before. It's like a first-time thing. So what has changed about then, 15, and you're only 18 now, so it's only been three years, right?

    9. CD

      19.

    10. JS

      19 now. You're 19 now.

    11. CD

      It's crazy.

    12. JS

      So it's been four years.

    13. CD

      Yeah.

    14. JS

      In those four years, what has ... What would you say is the biggest change that you've seen in who you thought you were then and who you are now?

    15. CD

      I think I just ... You know, I was in high school. Uh, it was one day, no one cared what I did, no one cared what I wore, what I looked like, what I said. And then all of a sudden, that was all anyone would talk about. It w- it happened so fast, and I put up a, a shield to kind of protect myself, which helped me but also hurt me a little bit because it was hard to get out of that shell. And, I mean, I think back to some of the things that I said in interviews, like, three years ago, "Yeah, hate comments don't bother me," and I was like, "You went home and cried all night because of it." Like, I would say things to make people think one thing, but inside I was very sheltered. And I went through a, a pretty big stage for maybe, like, the first two years where I always looked out for the best in people, and I got myself hurt a lot. You know, people wanted to make videos together and, and they would invite me over for collabs, and then they would all hang out, and I wouldn't be invited. And I would, I would be so confused. And the excuse was always, "You're too young," or, you know, whatever. And I was like, "You guys are just hanging out at a house. Like, how am I too young for that but not too young to have in all your videos?" And it took a lot of, you know, distancing myself, a lot of talking to my family, going to therapy, you know, figuring out who I am outside of anyone watching to be a little bit more content with myself and understand that I don't need to have all of these people like me, you know? I'm fine on my own. I love being by myself. I'm fine with the friends that I have in my corner that I've had for years or the new friends that come into my life that actually love me for me. And, you know, there's nothing that I can do. I feel like now I'm

  4. 9:50 – 12:06

    Learning To Focus On What Actually Matters

    1. CD

      kind of at a point where, you know, whatever. Like, that's kind of my motto. I always am just like, "All right. Okay. I don't, I don't know. I don't care," and focusing more on the things that really matter to me. Like, it sounds so lame 'cause I constantly talk about my dogs like they're my children.

    2. JS

      [laughs]

    3. CD

      But literally, like, spending the day with them, taking care of them, my responsibility being them and not myself. I don't have to worry about work or anything. They don't care if I have a million followers or none. Like, I don't know, just focusing more on the things that actually matter, the fans that actually love me no matter what, like, have been there for years or are brand-new and actually like who I am and not just what I put out, you know?

    4. JS

      Mm, mm. Yeah, and it's, and it's so hard because so much of what you put out is you-

    5. CD

      Mm-hmm

    6. JS

      ... or is a part of you.

    7. CD

      Yeah.

    8. JS

      And it can feel like the biggest part of you because it gets the biggest response.

    9. CD

      Yeah.

    10. JS

      And it's, it's almost confusing in your brain to be like, when you're with your dogs-

    11. CD

      Mm-hmm

    12. JS

      ... it's a small part of your life where there's a small amount of people there, but it's actually a bigger-

    13. CD

      Yeah

    14. JS

      ... of a bigger importance or bigger-

    15. CD

      Yeah

    16. JS

      ... significance to you.

    17. CD

      'Cause I have so much life that no one sees. I have so much about me that no one knows about.

    18. JS

      Mm.

    19. CD

      And I'm fine with that, you know?

    20. JS

      Mm.

    21. CD

      I don't feel like I need to change myself for anyone because I've, I did that for so long, and it was so exhausting, and I worked so much while being so burnt out and just wanting to kinda get away from everyone-

    22. JS

      Yeah

    23. CD

      ... that now what I want to do is definitely a lot more important than what everyone's telling me to do.

    24. JS

      Mm, and that's, and that's really tough. Like, when I've spoken to even, like, young mus- musicians and, and music stars, it's like most people get their break when they're, like, 15 years old or something like that. And naturally, everyone's older than you, and as a 15-year-old, you're used to having parents or people older than you telling you what to do. And so whether it's your manager or whether it's your agent or your team or whatever it is, they book you, and then you're doing what they say 'cause you're doing what the adults say. It's kinda normal. And now that you're an adult yourself, you're kind

  5. 12:06 – 17:34

    On Losing Her Identity

    1. JS

      of, like, trying to take that back. What was it that you felt you did that wasn't you or that you felt you were doing because the adults are saying to do it? Or what were those things that you felt like you moved away from who you wanted to be or who you were?

    2. CD

      I think I You know, for quite some time tried to just do whatever anyone said to make them like me, whether it was how I dressed or how I talked or what I said, anything, what type of videos I make. I was listening to every comment, whether it was like, "I hate that hoodie." Well, I'm never wearing that again. Like, this person doesn't like it, and dictating every decision I made through what other people said. And I mean, for a long time, the beginning, um, I was only surrounded [laughs] by a bunch of adults and 25-year-olds and all of this stuff, and they would always say how mature I am, but I was just trying to fit in, you know? I was still in high school, still like, you know, you wanna be with the cool kids, so the people that I thought was cool, I would do anything to be like them, you know, dress different every day or, or speak about specific things or try to sound cool or change myself, and it's just so not worth it, 'cause why, why am I gonna do that and how long am I gonna do that until they realize that it's like, okay, we get it, like, you like whatever we like. You don't have to do that, you know?

    3. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    4. CD

      It's just I think it's, it's so unfair to yourself to have to do that all the time.

    5. JS

      Mm-hmm. I love that, I love that you used that word unfair.

    6. CD

      Yeah.

    7. JS

      It's almost like it's just unfair to do that to yourself. That, that really hit me and resonated with me because it's, it's almost like you're just doing yourself such a big disservice by molding yourself into-

    8. CD

      Yeah

    9. JS

      ... what you think someone wants, and that was just a thought they had on one day-

    10. CD

      Mm-hmm

    11. JS

      ... in one second, in one comment.

    12. CD

      And then, and then you have no idea who you are. I l- I had to sit with myself and say, "I have no idea what I like. I have no idea how I wanna dress. I have no idea how I wanna do my makeup, or what's my favorite song or what's my favorite movie. I just, I don't know. Like, I do not know anything about myself," and my answer to every question was, "I don't know." And I actually had to talk to my therapist about this, and I was like, "I say I don't know to everything, but the thing is, I really don't know. I don't know who I am. I feel like all I know is what anyone tells me to do." And I mean, it's, it's a really weird feeling because how do you get out of that? How do you find out what you like? But you really just have to try things. Get out of your house. I was not leaving my house ever. Like, I would go through these phases where I don't want anyone to talk to me. I don't wanna do anything. I just wanna stay in my room all day, watch TV, like not get ready, nothing. And I've been really low a couple times, and I think this past time that I got really low was when I was like, okay, my parents even said, they were like, "We're not gonna let you, we're not gonna sit here and watch you rot in bed all day and not do anything," and just like, "We can't do that. That's so unfair." And especially when you don't live with your parents and they're noticing that, it's an issue.

    13. JS

      Yeah.

    14. CD

      So I had to kinda really dig deep and ask the questions that I didn't ask for so long for whatever reason. Maybe I didn't wanna know the answer. It was too much or scary to figure it out and be your own person, but I think it's just so much easier.

    15. JS

      Mm-hmm. And I, and I think it's also just, you know, being, it's really hard when you're living your own journey and then you realize as you're getting older and as you are maturing as, as everyone does, you're looking back going, "I can't really expect my 15-year-old self to know all this anyway." Like, I think, you know, for me, when I think about being back to 15 and I didn't know anything about myself and I wasn't dealing with the pressures you dealt with or the challenges that you had, and sure, I had different challenges and different stresses, as I'm sure everyone does, has their own thing, but the point is that as a 15-year-old self, you don't really know what you like anyway because it is true, you are trying to be with the cool kids or you are trying to be like the other people, and you're getting involved in all sorts of things just for people to give you approval and validate you. And then all of a sudden it's amazing that you're now coming to that point where you're like, "I wanna know." And I think what I love about what you said is, and it's because I said this often in my books and my work, is that knowing what movies you like, what food you like, what songs you like, that is the beginning of self-awareness. Like, it's that basic. It's, it's not this complicated, deep thing that it begins with. It really starts with those things. It starts with these really simple everyday choices that we all have to make. So I wanna ask you simple everyday choices. What is it now that Charli likes? Like, what is it that Charli has discovered

  6. 17:34 – 23:22

    Finding Joy In Everyday Life

    1. JS

      that-

    2. CD

      Mm.

    3. JS

      Not Charli D'Amelio, but Charli enjoys and appreciates. Like, what are the joys of life that, your dogs obviously you mentioned.

    4. CD

      Yeah.

    5. JS

      But what are some of the things that brings you joy that you feel you're discovering for the first time?

    6. CD

      Things that bring me joy. I love cleaning. That's something that sounds so lame but is so therapeutic. I love, um-

    7. JS

      What about cleaning? 'Cause-

    8. CD

      Ooh. [laughs]

    9. JS

      I wanna know. I wanna know now. The way you said that-

    10. CD

      Yeah

    11. JS

      ... with so much genuineness, I'm like, all right-

    12. CD

      [laughs]

    13. JS

      ... what about cleaning?

    14. CD

      Honestly, to me, it's just therapeutic. Like, put something on my TV, clean my room, organize my stuff, make it How I like it, you know?

    15. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    16. CD

      Because there can be certain things that, oh, well, you know, this is cool. I guess I like this, but what picture do I want out?

    17. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    18. CD

      What am I proud of and want presented? How do I like my bed made? How do I like my chargers to be set up? It's, like, such minuscule things that I think makes such a difference, and it also makes you feel productive and makes me feel like I have my stuff together. And I mean, as someone who struggles with obsessive compulsive disorder, that's one of my, like, big things where I feel like when I'm doing that, I'm almost clearing my head. So I don't know. It's just something that I genuinely enjoy doing-

    19. JS

      Yeah

    20. CD

      ... and I think is super fun. Like, this morning, 'cause I've had such bad jet lag, I was like, "Okay, I can either try to go to sleep for the next three hours or get up and clean the kitchen and play with the dogs."

    21. JS

      Yeah.

    22. CD

      And I was like, "All right. Let's just get up and do it. You know, I'll get up in five minutes, and we'll start to do this stuff. You order your coffee, and do all the things that you need to do to feel together," and that made me happy, and I was really proud I did that. And I started my day on a great note, and now I feel great. So it's just, like, little things that I just, I find so much fun in.

    23. JS

      Mm-hmm. Yeah, no, I, I mean, the team will attest to this too. I'm, like, addicted to organizing shelves and bookshelves.

    24. CD

      Mm-hmm.

    25. JS

      So I, I'll take you to the house afterwards, and I have, like, I have this bookshelf in there that I personally curated-

    26. CD

      [laughs]

    27. JS

      ... and, like, everything, and, like, even if my wife moves one book, I'll notice it.

    28. CD

      Yeah.

    29. JS

      And I'll be like, "Where has that book gone?" But it's like I get that. Like, organizing spaces and creating spaces to be spaces you wanna live in-

    30. CD

      Mm-hmm

  7. 23:22 – 31:03

    Treating Your Friends With Kindness

    1. JS

      What... If someone right now is listening and they're like, "Charli, I'm struggling with what, what you just said. Like, I find it hard to be open and honest about the things I like because people make fun of me-

    2. CD

      Mm-hmm

    3. JS

      ... or ridicule me, or maybe people tell me that's not cool or whatever it is." Like, what has slowly given you the confidence to get there, and what, what do you think people need to hear to almost feel confident in themselves to say that?

    4. CD

      I think it just starts with giving yourself permission to be open with yourself because it really, like, as much as it sucks to hear, like, it is all in your head. You have to work on your self-talk, and I think positive self-talk is something that is so often overlooked because everyone's so overly critical of themselves. You see your face, you know, in the reflection of your phone. You're in pictures, background of photos. You're like, "Oh, I hate this one, but this one posted it, and I can't do anything about it." You know? You have to- Once you start speaking in a more positive tone about yourself and the people around you, the easier it is to feel more positive, you know?

    5. JS

      Mm.

    6. CD

      Instead of, "Oh, I hate the way I look today," "You know what? My hair's doing something different, and I kinda like it."

    7. JS

      [laughs]

    8. CD

      You know?

    9. JS

      Yeah.

    10. CD

      Starting with those little, little things that sound so, so, like, it's so tiny. Who, who even cares, you know? It's in my head. It's not affecting anyone. But it's affecting yourself.

    11. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    12. CD

      So I think just the more you can be positive and open with yourself, and not so overly critical of yourself.

    13. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    14. CD

      If you like a movie and no one else likes that movie, doesn't mean it's a bad movie and you, you can't like it. You can still enjoy watching it, and okay, we just have different opinions. That's normal, and they probably like, like stuff I don't like, but that doesn't take away from what they like.

    15. JS

      Mm.

    16. CD

      It's just, you know, the way you talk to yourself is so important.

    17. JS

      Yeah. You're so right, and it's, it's so subtle. Like, those thoughts, as you just said, like, I love that switch that you just made between I don't like how my hair looks today, or, oh, my hair's doing something different today and that's interesting, or it looks cool, whatever it may be. There's an amazing book, uh, for those who, who are more interested in what Charli's talking about right now. It's called Psycho-Cybernetics, and it's this whole idea of how our thoughts completely define our reality-

    18. CD

      Yeah

    19. JS

      ... and how, as you just said, studies show that we have 60 to 80,000 thoughts per day, and 80% of them are negative and repetitive. So we're often having the same thought, which is like, "I don't like how I look," or, "I don't like how my hair looks," or, "I don't like this about me," or whatever it may be.

    20. CD

      Yeah.

    21. JS

      And you keep having that thought-

    22. CD

      Oh, yeah

    23. JS

      ... and then it just spirals, and then that's all you feel about yourself, and then it becomes your reality. So that book really helped me. It's a, it's an old-school classic in this space, but it convinces you that you can change your thoughts. And it's not like you're lying to yourself, right? Like, I w- I wanna address this for people who think that positive... This is not about positive thinking. This is not, like, looking at yourself and going, "I'm amazing, and I'm special." Like, that stuff doesn't work either.

    24. CD

      Yeah.

    25. JS

      But it's almost just tweaking your thoughts slightly to being, how do you change from being critical to just being curious? And that little switch can change everything.

    26. CD

      Exactly, and it, I think it's so important because getting to the point where you have a more positive self-talk, it's s- it's not linear, you know? You're gonna have dips and, and bad days and good days and bad months and good months. You just, that's, that's how it works. But I notice when I start to see myself slip and realize I've been super critical of myself, and you know what? I've had such a bad week. That's probably why I'm feeling so insecure, and maybe I'm taking it out on other people, or I'm, I don't wanna leave my house because I've critiqued everything about the way I look and not focused on one positive thing at all, you know? It really, that's when I noticed, when I started to dip again, how important it is to really focus on being kind to yourself.

    27. JS

      Mm-hmm. Yeah, and I, and I, I, I hope people really hear that because I think the reason why we're hard on others is because we're so hard on ourselves, and the reason we're so hard on ourselves is because we're so hard on others. And it's almost like if we were just able to be kinder to the stranger or our friend-

    28. CD

      Yeah

    29. JS

      ... our family member, then I think we'd actually be able to be more kind to ourselves-

    30. CD

      100%

  8. 31:03 – 35:00

    Navigating Difficult Family Dynamics

    1. CD

      the family dynamic is something that is really, really confusing, especially for me. I'm the youngest, so you spend all your time trying to impress your older sister. You spend all your time trying to prove something to your parents, even when they're already proud of you, you know? It's really confusing. You don't know where you fit in. I'm like, I live with my sister. I don't live with my parents, but, you know, I still want the same support that I got when I lived with them. But I can't just go up to their room anytime I'm having a bad day. They don't know what's going on with me all the time. When we're working together and on a shoot, you know, I, I hate to say this, but sometimes they want more stuff of me or whatever it is, or we want this at, for the family. And then they'll, you know, expect extra from me, and it's like, well, where do I fit in? Because I'm the youngest, but sometimes they want the most. And w- well, you know, it gets to the point where it's like, well, they, they're, they're not there for me. And it's like, well, you know what? Everyone's doing their own stuff. Like, everyone has their own stuff going on. Dixie has music. My mom's modeling. My dad's doing business stuff. Like, there's so much going on for all of us at the same time. It can get hard to celebrate every single achievement when there's just four of us all doing different things all at the same time, running from place to place, traveling, you know? We're still figuring that out now. I think while filming season three, our entire family was going through a lot, like, mentally and with work. So it's hard to watch back those episodes because we were just all in such a different place and so confused at where we all stand and taking it out on each other, which I think is probably the biggest regret I have through all of this with my family, is, like, we need to have each other's backs through everything. 'Cause, you know, through it all, you work with people, you make friends, whatever. You have to have family or people that you've kind of adopted as family that are there to support you when there's no cameras or when there's no likes or followers, anything. Like, you need that. And the hardest time for all of us was when we didn't have each other to lean on, and that is really, really shown in season three. And, like, even when I see clips, I'm like, "I don't wanna see it at all." Like, that was such a hard time for all of us, and it's so embarrassing at times to see that, like, people posting it, reposting it, edits of it, edits of times where I was, like, really, really, really struggling and hearing people, "She's so dramatic," but you hear a tenth of what was actually going on, you know? So it's, it's a lot. Or things are, you know, maybe I was upset about one thing, but in the show it looks like I'm upset about something else. It's, like, a whole bunch of stuff that's just, I don't even wanna pay attention to it.

    2. JS

      It must be so challenging. Like, I've always, I've always thought about it. Like, having a show where every one of your feelings and emotions is being documented and then broadcast sounds like the most challenging thing ever.

    3. CD

      It's a lot.

    4. JS

      But yeah, it's like even just that as a premise, and I know it's been around forever, and, you know, families have been followed forever, and there's, th- th- this format has been around forever. But I'm like, it doesn't get easier because of that, because as humans, we love to watch drama. We love to watch the gossip. We wanna see the scoop. The show has, like, twists and changes and, you know, characters that are upset at each other, and you have all of this going on. But then behind all of that, there's a real human with real emotions-

    5. CD

      Yeah

    6. JS

      ... trying to figure

  9. 35:00 – 37:30

    What It’s Like To Film A Reality TV Show

    1. JS

      it all out. Have you been able to separate, like, yourself and then the character on the show, too? Like, do you feel, or do you feel that's just so in- interrelated that you're like-

    2. CD

      In ways, yes, for sure. But, like, people don't realize when you're filming, sometimes you forget you have a mic on and you say something and you're like, "It really wasn't that deep." Like-

    3. JS

      Yeah

    4. CD

      ... it's not that important. Sometimes you're really, really upset or you're maybe mentally struggling a little bit and you don't have m- a reason, 'cause sometimes you don't need a reason. Sometimes you just feel really bad, and that happens. So you go through these, "Well, why are you? Well, what was happening?" You know, "Was it this person's fault?" And it's like, "Well, I don't know. I was just really feeling bad, and I didn't have a handle on it, and I had to film." So, you know, it's like I don't get a choice of how I, how I go into filming, you know? I can try and go in with a positive mindset, but after a couple hours, you know, like, I'm tired and you see how maybe I was really feeling that day. Maybe it's nothing that was at all in the show. Like, people watching have no idea. But it is so many real emotions that it's really, really hard to separate the two. But hopefully, you know, if another season happens- [laughs]

    5. JS

      Yeah

    6. CD

      ... I'll be able to do that.

    7. JS

      And why did you feel, though, in season three that it got harder- ... with family then easier. Like, you'd hope that season three, like, made it easier-

    8. CD

      Yeah

    9. JS

      ... but why do you think it got hard? Is it just that everyone's more busy now or?

    10. CD

      Yeah, I think we were just all going through so much individually and constantly taking it out on each other. And, you know, that's building blocks to working with your family. No family that works together is perfect all the time, and if you say you are, you are so wrong, especially when, you know, we talk about it all the time, like family is everything. But when you're in those moments where you're like, "I'm pissed at this person in my family because of..." S- maybe it's something stupid, but to me it's like, it feels like a lot. It feels like the entire world on my shoulders for maybe something that isn't that big of a deal, but it feels like that to me, you know? It's just we were all going through so much at the same time that there was no way that these cameras weren't gonna catch it.

    11. JS

      Mm-hmm. It sounds like even, even though obviously you said that,

  10. 37:30 – 43:44

    On Being Trust In The Adult World At The Age of 16

    1. JS

      you know, when you're a kid, you still want your family to take care of you, and obviously now you're in a position where obviously you take care of yourself, you, you live with your sister. But what would you say has been the biggest skills you've learned in how to take care of yourself when you don't have your family to rely on?

    2. CD

      I don't even know. I feel like that's something that is so confusing to me still. I feel so independent because, you know, I'm traveling without any of my friends or family. I'm on these big work calls. Like, I have no training for this.

    3. JS

      Mm.

    4. CD

      I, I didn't even finish high school. Like, I don't know how to do this. I don't know if I'm making the right decision. I don't know if this is, you know, good or bad. I still call my dad all the time and I'm like, "Okay, but seriously, what do you think about this?" Because I... Like, this sounds not that cool to me, but apparently it's really... Like, I have no idea how this works. And, you know, the more I do it, the more I get comfortable and learn. But I missed so much of the normal growing up, going to college and then coming back for Thanksgiving or Christmas or whatever it is, that I kind of had to, like, race to figure it out because it was one day you're a kid and you're in high school and you have no responsibilities, and now you have people that are working for you, and, and you're responsible for them, and you're responsible for everything that you do, and you're not allowed to mess up. But I'm 16, I don't know how to not mess up. I don't know anything. Like, how am I supposed to learn that without having these real-life experiences? So I think the more as time goes on and the more I'm put in these situations where I have to be independent and a grownup, you know, the easier it gets.

    5. JS

      Yeah.

    6. CD

      But it's still something that I really have to figure out in each individual situation.

    7. JS

      Yeah. I'm 36 and I still don't know how not to mess up. [laughs] Like, it's just because I think what we don't realize is you've got yourself and your identity-

    8. CD

      Mm-hmm

    9. JS

      ... like you as an individual, which is always changing.

    10. CD

      Yeah.

    11. JS

      So whether you're 36 or whether you're 19, you're still dealing with that. On top of that, you've now got the industry's always changing.

    12. CD

      Mm-hmm.

    13. JS

      So like the platforms are changing and the business is changing and the social, whatever, all of that's always changing. So you've never done it before, and most people have never done it before.

    14. CD

      Yeah.

    15. JS

      So no matter how smart someone was five months ago, everything's changed.

    16. CD

      Mm-hmm.

    17. JS

      And so everything's being updated. And then on top of all of that, you've got everyone around you who's constantly changing and growing and evolving. And so it's so hard to ever feel you ever have a handle on, on all areas of your life.

    18. CD

      Yeah.

    19. JS

      And so definitely as a 16-year-old, now a 19-year-old, like it's, it's so much to learn quickly. And I think you had your, you recently had your prom or you did your prom here, right? Like you had to have-

    20. CD

      Yeah, I had, I had two. We did one on the show.

    21. JS

      Yeah.

    22. CD

      And then I went to my high school prom-

    23. JS

      You went back

    24. CD

      ... back in my hometown.

    25. JS

      Okay, cool.

    26. CD

      Yeah.

    27. JS

      Yeah.

    28. CD

      Which was really fun, and like the bit of senior year that I got to have, which was really nice because I didn't get that at all, and a lot of kids didn't during COVID and everything. So I'm definitely not the only person feeling like this. A lot of freshman, sophomore year of college, like people didn't get that. People didn't get that very, very integral part of growing up. Or whether it's your first job, like this was my first job. I had never had any true responsibility before, and I don't know how, and there's no rule book to say, "Well, this is how you be an adult." So it's kind of just figuring it out and messing up a- along the way, but when you mess up and you have so many people telling you how you messed up and how that's horrible and you're doing all of these things wrong, you're like, "Yeah, I know, but this is all I know how to do." You kind of just every day learn a little bit and just continue to do your best, 'cause that's all you can do.

    29. JS

      Yeah. Yeah. And I, and I... Do you know what? It's interesting because we're hearing that from you, and I think everyone who's listening right now is going, "That's me too." Like-

    30. CD

      [laughs]

  11. 43:44 – 46:00

    Gossip, Rumors, and Clickbait

    1. JS

      also even just what you said about your grandmother, like, learning about how she's reading something that sounds so true, and you're like, "No, it didn't happen that way." [laughs]

    2. CD

      [laughs]

    3. JS

      And it's funny 'cause I go through similar things with me and my family. So my parents will l- read a article about me or whatever, and they'll get really upset for me, or they'll get offended for me because there's something in it that they don't like-

    4. CD

      Yeah

    5. JS

      ... or whatever it is. Or there's something said about the family, which you must have to deal with way more than I do, 'cause your family's in the spotlight too. But then they're like, "Oh, well, why did they say that about the family and this or that?" And I'm like, "I didn't say anything." Like, you know, it's almost like I didn't even talk about that. I didn't mention anything. It's just someone coming up with something.

    6. CD

      Yeah.

    7. JS

      And I can't imagine for you, like- [laughs]

    8. CD

      It's, like, the clickbait articles-

    9. JS

      Yeah

    10. CD

      ... where I'm like, "I'm telling you that this isn't real." Or she'd, like, see someone online, and she's like, "I don't like them." And I'm, "Why?" "They said something about you three years ago." "Well, they're my friends now."

    11. JS

      Yeah.

    12. CD

      She's like, "I don't know. I don't like them."

    13. JS

      [laughs]

    14. CD

      It's like, all right. [laughs]

    15. JS

      [laughs]

    16. CD

      You're gonna think whatever you think. Like, that's fine. But she was so cute and so-

    17. JS

      Yeah

    18. CD

      ... so supportive. Like, she spent all day on her iPad just watching YouTube-

    19. JS

      Aw

    20. CD

      ... compilations of my TikToks, and every time I see her she'd be like, "You need to stop cursing on the internet."

    21. JS

      [laughs]

    22. CD

      And I was like, "I know."

    23. JS

      [laughs]

    24. CD

      "I know." [laughs]

    25. JS

      That's so sweet. That's so funny. Yeah, I mean, and, and you, nice of you not to block her from those videos either.

    26. CD

      Oh, yeah. Even, um-

    27. JS

      I know so many people that do that

    28. CD

      ... my other grandma, she, like, still swipes up on all my stories. She's like, "You look great." Or she'd, like, reply to fan pages. Like, a lot of people's grandparents, I hear this all the time from all the social media kids, it's like, "My grandma responds to my fan pages thinking they're me." And I'm like-

    29. JS

      [laughs]

    30. CD

      ... but it's so, like, it's so sweet.

  12. 46:00 – 48:40

    Being Friends With Other Influencers

    1. JS

      you've found, like, I know you're close with Markell-

    2. CD

      Mm-hmm

    3. JS

      ... who, who I love too.

    4. CD

      Yeah.

    5. JS

      He's such a, I, I love Markell's energy. I've only met him a couple of times, but he's so awesome. Have you found that you've got a good group of friends around you in the industry? Because what I've found is that, so I have a bunch of great friends back in London who are, like, my best friends, like my best man at my wedding-

    6. CD

      Mm-hmm

    7. JS

      ... and, like, my closest friends that I grew up with, and I speak to them, like, I speak to my best friend, like, three times a week still because it's so important to me-

    8. CD

      Yeah

    9. JS

      ... and it, and I need it. And at the same time, I also need friends who are in the industry because there are certain things that we can all understand about the industry, kind of like the idea of, yeah, don't trust the press on that and whatever-

    10. CD

      Mm-hmm

    11. JS

      ... because they already know that-

    12. CD

      Yeah

    13. JS

      ... because they go through the same stuff. Do you find, I n- it sounds like you have a great group of friends back at home.

    14. CD

      Mm-hmm.

    15. JS

      Do you find that you've also found good friends in the industry that you can kind of compare notes with a bit too and be like, "Oh, I just went through that, and this is how I'm feeling"?

    16. CD

      Yeah, definitely. I mean, Markell's, like, he's family to me.

    17. JS

      Yeah.

    18. CD

      He-

    19. JS

      Beyond friends, yeah

    20. CD

      ... has shown so much to me just as a person, whether it's talking to me one on one or defending me online or, you know, defending me to the people around him. Like, he is someone that every person that meets him has so much amazing things to say about him, and I'm so thankful that I have him in my life. Whether it's, like, we're doing nothing, or we're out with a bunch of people, and I, we wanna have a dance party in the middle of the dance floor, and it's just us two, like, we'll do it. Or in the middle of a restaurant, whatever it is, like, I love that. But I've definitely found a lot of people that are in the industry, and a lot of the friendships that I have I tend to keep quiet about.

    21. JS

      Mm.

    22. CD

      And a lot of the friendships that I have, I've met them in very, very weird ways 'cause how am I supposed to meet people, you know? I don't go out super often. I don't, I am not usually around people my own age. Like, a lot of my friends that I met, they were actually dancers at the Kids' Choice Awards.

    23. JS

      [laughs]

    24. CD

      And we just clicked, and I started hanging out with them, and I really like them, and they're really cool people, and they're in an industry that I'm so fascinated by. And yeah, they do so much similar things to me, but it's also different, and I think that that's really special. And after meeting them, it was really refreshing to be around people my own age and also just- Have people that are hardworking and determined and not competitive

  13. 48:40 – 53:00

    Having A Famous Boyfriend

    1. CD

      with me at all, and just happy to see me happy and-

    2. JS

      Mm-hmm

    3. CD

      ... I can have fun with whether we're filming or not, you know? But even, like, my boyfriend, he's in the industry, and, you know, we, we tend to handle things a little bit differently, but sometimes I, I have to be like, "It's not worth it." You know? We don't have to respond. We don't have to do anything.

    4. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    5. CD

      Like, it's not worth it. I know you, you know me. Whether people are saying things about me or people are saying things about our relationship, you know, having each other to kind of navigate that on our own is, is really nice.

    6. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    7. CD

      Because it's also what two 19-year-olds in a relationship have their lives together, you know? There's ups and downs, like whether I'm working all the time or he's working all the time or I'm traveling or whatever it is, like, there's always so much going on that can so easily put a strain on a relationship. And also just coming into adulthood with two teenagers that have no idea what they're doing and just trying their best, like, you know, it's been really confusing to navigate, but also really refreshing to have someone else there that's, like, just trying to figure it out day by day.

    8. JS

      Mm-hmm. It's almost, yeah, it's almost easier in one sense because you have someone to bounce it off of-

    9. CD

      Yeah

    10. JS

      ... as opposed to-

    11. CD

      You're like-

    12. JS

      The-

    13. CD

      ... "Am I crazy? Or are you crazy?"

    14. JS

      [laughs]

    15. CD

      "Is this, like... Is this okay?"

    16. JS

      [laughs]

    17. CD

      You know?

    18. JS

      Yeah.

    19. CD

      So it's, it's really nice.

    20. JS

      Do you, do you think the hardest part about success and fame is having a relationship in the public eye? Would you say that that's the hardest part in terms of when it comes to your relationships, or that's not?

    21. CD

      Sometimes. I feel like, you know, when two people that are in a relationship have, like, an off-week or whatever, there can be the whole, "This person didn't like their photo," or, "They haven't posted together. They're broken up," or, "This person's starting a rumor." Like, even if you, you two are struggling, that's for you to go through and handle it however's appropriate, whether you guys part ways or continue to work through things together. Like, no relationship is perfect ever.

    22. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    23. CD

      You have moments where so much is going on. Like, during Dancing With the Stars, I was dancing seven days a week. I was never home. He was like, "I felt like I didn't have a girlfriend." And that was really hard. It was hard on my parents, you know? Like, it's a lot, and especially for two young teenagers to go through. Like, we don't, we don't know how to do this. No one knows how to do this.

    24. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    25. CD

      So we're just doing our best, and there's ups and downs, but we work through it, and that's just being a person.

    26. JS

      Yeah.

    27. CD

      You know?

    28. JS

      Yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, absolutely. And, and, and just the idea of... It is interesting when you've got two people who have crazy lives and, and have different journeys and have different, you know, commitments and family commitments, and there's just so much going on-

    29. CD

      Yeah

    30. JS

      ... to keep up with it all. What have you found, what has helped you both kind of keep up with each other's schedules and each other's lives? Because that's not gonna change.

  14. 53:00 – 56:53

    Learning To Ignore The Haters

    1. CD

      Just normal human things, and definitely not worrying [laughs] about what anyone online has to say. It's so not worth it.

    2. JS

      Yeah.

    3. CD

      It really isn't, 'cause 99% of these people are looking for you to respond.

    4. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    5. CD

      Like, even today, I woke up to some crazy person talking about me in, like, the most wildly disrespectful way as, like, I've really seen in a long time. And the thing is, like, me and this person were at an event together, and this person introduced themselves. I introduced myself. We tried to be nice. This kid was not nice to me and then went and talked very poorly on me. And Landon's like, "Well, let me call this kid." And I'm like, "It's not that big of a deal." Like, it's not. That's what he's looking for. Is it taking everything in me not to respond or not to text him? Yeah, but I know if I text him, he's gonna post it, and that's gonna be a thing, and he's gonna get exactly what he wants, me to respond and give in to whatever story he wants to portray to the people that watch him. It's not, it's not my problem.

    6. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    7. CD

      Like, I know who I am, and that's good enough for me.

    8. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    9. CD

      Like, it doesn't matter.

    10. JS

      Yeah. And it's so hard to get to that point.

    11. CD

      Mm-hmm.

    12. JS

      But it's so liberating when you do.

    13. CD

      Yeah.

    14. JS

      Like, it's so freeing when you realize that, where you're like actually not responding is not getting caught up in someone else's-

    15. CD

      Yeah

    16. JS

      ... thing. Yeah.

    17. CD

      And, like, then it just gives people an opportunity to, "Well, if I say this about her, then she's gonna respond."

    18. JS

      Yeah.

    19. CD

      And it's like I c- I don't have time to respond to every little thing-

    20. JS

      Yeah, yeah

    21. CD

      ... that people have to say about me.

    22. JS

      Yeah.

    23. CD

      And it, it takes so much It's so draining to-

    24. JS

      Yeah

    25. CD

      ... to have to see that. And the more you talk about it, the more your fans talk about it, and people in the press talk about it, and it's like, for what reason?

    26. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    27. CD

      Because I was angry at this kid who I met once? Like, who cares?

    28. JS

      Yeah. And it, and it's hard when the person you're in a relationship with wants to defend you too-

    29. CD

      Yeah

    30. JS

      ... and like-

  15. 56:53 – 59:04

    Raising Her New Puppy!

    1. JS

      Definitely. Charli, what are you excited about right now? Like, what's kind of like-- You know, you've done-

    2. CD

      Ooh

    3. JS

      ... so many amazing things, and I feel like this journey that you're saying with your identity of, like, getting to know yourself better-

    4. CD

      Yeah

    5. JS

      ... you've done so many things, and I'm guessing some of them you're like, "Oh yeah, that was Charli D'Amelio, and then this is Charli."

    6. CD

      [laughs]

    7. JS

      It's like, what is Charli, like, really excited about or curious about or passionate about? Or like what's coming up where you're like, "Oh, I really wanna try that out or learn that," or whatever, whatever it may be? Like, open floor.

    8. CD

      Um, okay. I think first thing that I'm most excited about is my dogs. I have a puppy.

    9. JS

      [laughs]

    10. CD

      Um, I know I sound so lame, but I have a puppy.

    11. JS

      No, no, I'm not lame. I'm, I'm not laughing because I think it's lame. I'm laughing because it's cute. It's just like-

    12. CD

      Yeah

    13. JS

      ... you're gonna have to open up a dog shelter or something.

    14. CD

      I know. I'm, like, in love with her. Uh, I have my, like, older dog who's nine. She's literally me as a dog, and I'm, I'm obsessed with her. She's the most adorable dog ever. She's a literal human. But then I have this puppy that Landon and I adopted from Nashville, and she's like-- She was abandoned, and she was like-- It was a horrible story, and it really, like, pulled at my heartstrings. And I was like, "Okay, I need to take you home now. Like, I will take care of you. I love you." And, like, watching her grow up and being responsible for her I think has been very refreshing to me because my older dog, she's, you know, she's very self-sufficient. She's also very lazy. So I'll be up in the morning, and she'll wake up two hours later ready to be fed. Like, she is not-- She has her own schedule, and I love that about her because that's how I raised her. She's a very, like, laid-back dog. Can have all the lights on, and she's sleeping. Like, I love that. But this puppy, you know, you have to train her. You have to-- It's very specific, and these formative puppy years are so important to who this dog becomes. There's no bad dogs. There's only bad dog owners.

    15. JS

      [laughs]

    16. CD

      So I just, like, am loving this journey of truly-- 'cause, you know, I got my dog nine years ago. I was 10.

    17. JS

      Yeah.

    18. CD

      I wasn't actually raising her, and now I'm getting the chance to raise a dog, and it's really, really exciting and special. And seeing the two of them together is, like, my favorite thing ever.

    19. JS

      [laughs]

  16. 59:04 – 1:00:30

    Finding Her Personal Style

    1. CD

      I think something else that I'm excited for is I have a dance room in my garage. So I love just going down there any time of the day, whether it's 4:00 in the morning or 1:00 PM, and just, like, letting go and being open with myself and using movement as therapy and also getting a little bit of a workout in.

    2. JS

      Yeah.

    3. CD

      You know? Like, being productive. I love that. And probably experimenting more with my style.

    4. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    5. CD

      That's something that I've just recently started to get into. I think Landon and my sister had a lot to do with that because I, I love the way that they put together outfits. I think that they both have really good styles, and it comes very natural to them. And to me, it's a lot harder because I always go for what I know instead of stepping out of the box. But I'm trying.

    6. JS

      [laughs]

    7. CD

      So that's something exciting, and it's fun to experiment, you know?

    8. JS

      Yeah.

    9. CD

      A little different.

    10. JS

      I love how personal all those were. Those were great.

    11. CD

      [laughs]

    12. JS

      They were great choices.

    13. CD

      Thank you.

    14. JS

      Yeah, I love how none of them were career-re, career related-

    15. CD

      [laughs]

    16. JS

      ... and, like, none of them were work-related.

    17. CD

      Yeah.

    18. JS

      And that's awesome because I can tell that you've, you've really started carving those two things as separate.

    19. CD

      Yeah.

    20. JS

      And-

    21. CD

      Um, work-wise, you know, using my voice more online. I think that, you know, even doing a podcast is something very outside of my comfort zone. A lot of my career has been not talking.

    22. JS

      Mm.

    23. CD

      So it's been

  17. 1:00:30 – 1:07:59

    Learning To Use Her Voice

    1. CD

      very hard for me to get into using my voice and figuring out what do I want to say? Especially when you don't know yourself, how do you answer questions? I don't ... You can't just say, "I don't know" for everything.

    2. JS

      [laughs]

    3. CD

      So that's something that's been special, and I've been trying to make more content for my fans, and trying to use my voice more. And, like, even little things, finishing a get ready with me, which I film 50 of them, and I post one of them. Like, trying to get more into it, and go back to the reason why I started social media, because I like it, and I'm finally at a point where I like it again, which is really refreshing and nice. It doesn't feel like work.

    4. JS

      Mm-hmm. Mm. I love that. And what, what's been ... What is that? When you say you wanna use your voice, and even doing the podcast today, like, you coming on today and, you know, being open and, and trusting me and trusting this space, and just being vulnerable with the idea of, like you said, I don't know. I'm trying to figure out who I am-

    5. CD

      Yeah

    6. JS

      ... and, and being okay with that, which I think, by the way, for a 19-year-old is, is completely normal and wonderful and good. And, like, I think that's amazing that you wanna spend this time in your life figuring out who you are. I think it's the best investment you could ever make. I'm so happy that you're doing it, and I'm hoping that you take your whole audience and community on a journey to do it for themselves, because you're gonna save so many people from so many stressful 20 to 30-year-old journeys, right? Like, literally, like, you can either do it now, or you can do it when you're 30. And if you do it now, it's, like, you're gonna help so many people. What ... Is, is that kind of like, when you say using your voice, is that the type of journey you want people to go on with you, or are you, are you still figuring out what that journey it is that you want people to go on with you?

    7. CD

      Yeah. As of right now, it's literally just talking.

    8. JS

      Mm.

    9. CD

      Talking online-

    10. JS

      Right

    11. CD

      ... just actually using my voice, you know? For so long, it was n- a song and no words. Like, it sounds so little, but just talking, I feel like that's something that is, which is so weird, but it's so outside-

    12. JS

      No, no

    13. CD

      ... of my comfort zone.

    14. JS

      Yeah.

    15. CD

      And I feel so, like, weird doing it, but has honestly been really refreshing for me, because, you know, I'm growing up, and a part of growing up is being confident with what you have to say and using your words and just talking with, you know, a little bit of purpose. And I'm growing up, but also so are all of the people that are watching me. And I think bringing them on that journey of this is literally just what I'm doing. I'm not talking about anything that's really of any importance sometimes. Sometimes I'm just talking.

    16. JS

      [laughs]

    17. CD

      But that's what I need to do to move-

    18. JS

      Yeah

    19. CD

      ... to this next step of my life, to hopefully talk about something important, and talk about what matters to me. I think that that's ... This is a very integral step of growing up.

    20. JS

      I think that's really smart. I genuinely do. I think that takes a lot of courage to even say that. I don't think it's, I don't think it's, like, s- insignificant at all. I think it, it makes a lot of sense to me that in order for you to stand for something, you need to get to a point where you just feel comfortable being open and sharing.

    21. CD

      Yeah.

    22. JS

      And-

    23. CD

      And so much of the beginning few years of this journey, every time I talked, someone had something to say. And, you know, you get canceled every five seconds. Like, that was what was happening to me for so long any time I opened my mouth, so I just stopped talking. I stopped saying anything that was important to me. I stopped doing anything that was outside of the box that I was put in, where I couldn't go wrong if I just didn't do anything.

    24. JS

      Mm.

    25. CD

      You know?

    26. JS

      Yeah.

    27. CD

      And I have opinions. I have thoughts. I have things I like. I have things I don't like. Why can't I just say it? Like, who is stopping me? The people that actually care what I have to say, they're going to support me even if they disagree, you know? Whether it's I really like this outfit, and they don't, like, that's cool. They respect my opinion. I respect theirs. That's awesome. The people that don't like me, they're not gonna like me no matter what. They didn't like me when I wasn't saying anything. They're not gonna like me now. That's fine.

    28. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    29. CD

      I'm, I'm not making my videos for them.

    30. JS

      Mm-hmm. Yeah, definitely. When, when you say you still wanna get to know who you are and your identity, what are the parts that you're like, "I'm still just trying to figure this out," or, "This part I'm, like, really curious about. I'm trying to learn about this about myself, but I don't know what it..."

  18. 1:07:59 – 1:11:37

    Finding Peace With Animals

    1. CD

      Thank you.

    2. JS

      Charli, what have I not asked you about that you're like, "I really wanna share this," or, "This has been on my heart, on my mind," or, like, something you wanna talk about that you're like, "This is what I wanna use my voice for, and you haven't asked me about it," or it just didn't come up?

    3. CD

      Something for me that I think is very interesting, which is very random and has nothing to do with my career, my personal life, or anything, I love the San Diego Safari Park, which is so random. But I've recently found, I watched this, like, whole video on it, this, like, very specific thing that you have to go through a lot of steps to be able to get it for, like, a zoo or aquarium or anything, but it's a certificate that shows if it's humane to the animals. And learning about that has been really interesting because I love going there, and I love how free the animals are and how it's just like they are in the wild and how they help the animals. And that's definitely something that I wanna get more into, is, like, figuring out exactly what it is and going to more places like that and, you know, not appreciating places like SeaWorld that treat their animals horribly, you know? Like, little things like that that I think is so interesting 'cause I love animals.

    4. JS

      Mm.

    5. CD

      So that was something. I, I need to find the name of exactly what that little, like, thing is, but it's really cool. And, like, to get that, you have to go through a lot of work, and every place is constantly trying to outdo each other, so the bar is constantly-

    6. JS

      [laughs]

    7. CD

      ... being raised-

    8. JS

      Wow

    9. CD

      ... which I think is so interesting, and I love that.

    10. JS

      It's the quality of how they treat the animals there.

    11. CD

      Yeah.

    12. JS

      And they have to pass a certain number of ... Right, right, right. Wow.

    13. CD

      Yeah. So that's really cool-

    14. JS

      Yeah

    15. CD

      ... and something random that I discovered. [laughs]

    16. JS

      No, I love that. Yeah. Wait, my, my wife's a big fan of, uh, visiting animals as much as we can, and so she's, she's kind of always led that, and we've gone to some of the randomest places in, in LA because of her. But her relationship with animals is really beautiful, and she can like, you know, start a relationship with-

    17. CD

      I love that

    18. JS

      ... you know. Yeah, and it's really special to watch. And it's really interesting because we went to a couple last year, and she'd always come back really, like, even more calm and even more just still. And, and I ... And it was really beautiful to see just how when you're connected to nature, and we are nature and, you know, we're a part of that, but now we feel so disconnected from it.

    19. CD

      Yeah.

    20. JS

      But animals are such a great way of reconnecting. What, what do you find, I guess, fulfilling or meaningful about being, obviously your dogs, but with these animals? Like, what is it about it for you specifically that you appreciate about it?

    21. CD

      I think it's just so peaceful and to learn so much. Like, when you go to these places, I will come back only talking about animal facts for, like, a month.

    22. JS

      [laughs]

    23. CD

      And I love it. And sometimes people are like, "That's ... Like, where did you even come up with that?" But I think it's so cool and so interesting to see all these animals and, with each other and, and how they respond to things. And I love places where it's like if they're out and you see them, that's great. If not, they don't feel like being out.

    24. JS

      [laughs]

    25. CD

      That's just how it is. I just think it's so interesting.

    26. JS

      Yeah, yeah.

    27. CD

      And I literally, I've been to the San Diego Safari twice, and the first time talked about animal facts for, like, two months. The second time, I, leading up to going, that was all I could talk about. And I brought ... I got so many other people excited about it because it was like, "But you don't understand how cool it is." Like, you are 20 feet away from a cheetah with, like, there's no big fence up.

    28. JS

      Yeah.

    29. CD

      You know? Like, it's crazy just to see these animals just living-

    30. JS

      Yeah

  19. 1:11:37 – 1:16:00

    Visiting Africa

    1. JS

      Yeah, definitely. Have you been to anywhere in Africa before?

    2. CD

      I haven't-

    3. JS

      Okay

    4. CD

      ... and I really wanna go.

    5. JS

      Yeah.

    6. CD

      I've, like, I've seen so many videos and so many of my friends have gone, and it just seems so cool.

    7. JS

      Yeah. I, I, I've talked about this before on the podcast, but I'm sharing it because it's natural in our conversation. I went to Rwanda last year.

    8. CD

      Wow.

    9. JS

      And Rwanda reveres gorillas, so literally every time there's a new gorilla in Rwanda, the, the community comes together and they name it, and they have this whole ceremony for it.

    10. CD

      That's so cool.

    11. JS

      And so they've had these, uh, gorilla sanctuaries for years. And so same as what you're saying, there's no fences or walls or whatever. It's basically the mountains, and you take treks into the mountains and you discover gorilla in their natural habitat.

    12. CD

      Yeah.

    13. JS

      And there's families, so we followed ... We- I went three days, and one of the days we discovered a family that had like 20 gorillas in it. And then we discovered another one, and you get to see the babies and the adults.

    14. CD

      Yeah.

    15. JS

      And it was easily one of my favorite things I've done in my entire life, and it was just the most magical experience because you're truly in nature. The animals are in their habitat, so you're going into their home.

    16. CD

      Yeah.

    17. JS

      And they're gonna res- They're so respectful and let you do your thing, and at the same time you get to learn about them in this really intimate way. It was beautiful to just see how they took care of the kids, how the kids played around, how they were defensive if we got too close.

    18. CD

      Yeah.

    19. JS

      Like, just everything about them and- The guides that we had said that you can also go and walk, so this was walking with gorillas, but they said you could go walk with elephants too.

    20. CD

      That's cool.

    21. JS

      And me and my wife have been talking about doing that. We're like, "I'd love to go walk with elephants. Like, how cool would that be?"

    22. CD

      Yeah.

    23. JS

      And so there's all these incredible experiences out there, and, you know, whether it's a local safari or, or whether it's being able to go there-

    24. CD

      Yeah

    25. JS

      ... and have this experience, I, I definitely feel... And my other team, someone on my team's been talking about going to see the Great Migration, which is what... So the easy version of it, I'm giving a very bad explanation.

    26. CD

      [laughs]

    27. JS

      But just to make it relatable for everyone, it's basically what happens in The Lion King when all the wildebeest are, like-

    28. CD

      That's so cool

    29. JS

      ... running across. Like, so that's the Great Migration where they're, like, stampeding across the stampede where-

    30. CD

      Wow

  20. 1:16:00 – 1:32:58

    Charli D'Amelio On Final Five

    1. JS

      end every episode with a Final Five, and these, I'm gonna totally ruin these because I enjoy doing that. But you're meant to answer them in one word to one sentence maximum.

    2. CD

      Okay.

    3. JS

      But I will probably ask you to expand because they always lead to more thoughtful answers. So all right, Charli, these are your Final Five. The first question is, what is the best advice you've ever heard or received or even given to someone?

    4. CD

      This is probably the only thing that keeps me sane. Whether it's good or bad, everything happens for a reason. You can't control it.

    5. JS

      Mm. And that's something you hold onto it sounds like.

    6. CD

      Yeah. Makes me feel like I'm not going crazy.

    7. JS

      When have you used that the most? You can expand-

    8. CD

      Oof

    9. JS

      ... beyond one sentence.

    10. CD

      I mean, when I feel like I have no idea what to do next, or I feel like everything's coming crashing down, this is important because it's helping me get to the next step of my life. And as much as this sucks right now, I need it. And some of the worst parts where I, I feel like I'm at an all-time low, that helped me get to that next step. So next time I'm, I'm feeling like that, I know how to... I know first I can get myself out of it, and second, that, you know, maybe it's not that big of a deal, and in a year I'm not even gonna remember it.

    11. JS

      [laughs] Absolutely. Love that. All right, second question: What's the worst advice you've ever heard or received?

    12. CD

      Probably that I need to say yes to everything because you don't know when this is gonna end.

    13. JS

      Mm.

    14. CD

      Sometimes you just need to say no and take that time for yourself.

    15. JS

      I'm so glad you brought that up. So many young creators hear that.

    16. CD

      Just overwhelm themselves, and it's, you're doing a disservice to yourself. Give yourself time to figure out who you are.

    17. JS

      Mm. And I think you're so right. Like, I've, I've said this to a lot of people too that it will only end when you want it to. Like, nothing can end. If you're s- if you're alive and you're creating and you're-

    18. CD

      Yeah

    19. JS

      ... building, like, things just don't end. And I think we use the end as a scarcity tactic or a fear tactic to get more out of someone-

    20. CD

      Mm-hmm

    21. JS

      ... or to get the most out of it right now, not realizing that someone could take a break for three years if that's what they wanted to do and come back even stronger and bigger and better and whatever.

    22. CD

      Yeah.

    23. JS

      And I just don't think we allow people to have that space, and I think it's really unhealthy for anyone to think that, "Oh, if I'm not, don't do this, I'm gonna be irrelevant," or whatever. It's like, actually if you're an artist, you could take time out and come back in years from now and create a masterpiece.

    24. CD

      Yeah.

    25. JS

      And-

    26. CD

      I mean, the first like three years of my career, all anyone was saying was, "It could be over like that. No one's gonna care about you." And I spent so much time, when is it gonna end? Everyone keeps telling me it's gonna end. Like, do I want it to end? Maybe I want it to end. Maybe I want a break and it just to all be over and go back to my normal life. Like, I've taken breaks. I've taken step backs. I've done everything that was coming to me at the moment, and it's like Letting whether the people that are watching you are gonna stay or leave dictate every move you make, those people that really care about you, they're not just gonna leave if you stop posting for a month or a week or however long. Like, put your own mental state first

    27. JS

      Yeah. Yeah, because if you don't put your mental state first, then it's definitely gonna go away.

    28. CD

      Yeah.

    29. JS

      And then-

    30. CD

      You're gonna get burnt out, and then no one's gonna care-

Episode duration: 1:32:59

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