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Jay Shetty PodcastJay Shetty Podcast

Ed Mylett: Set Yourself Up For Success With These DAILY ROUTINES!

Today, we welcome back Ed Mylett. Dive into a transformation conversation, where we explore groundbreaking approaches to time management, personal growth, and emotional healing.

Ed MylettguestJay Shettyhost
Feb 19, 20241h 8mWatch on YouTube

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Transcript

  1. 0:00 – 1:01

    Intro

    1. EM

      We're still operating the same time construct as people did 50 years ago, 100 years ago, 200 years ago. That is insane. I have three eight-hour days in a day. I get 21 days in a week.

    2. JS

      His dream was to be a professional baseball player. He's an entrepreneur, a philanthropist, podcast host. Today, he's recognized as one of the premier business leaders in the world, Ed Mylett.

    3. EM

      Your identity isn't your career. That's not your identity. It's a very dangerous way to live your life. The hack to confidence nobody talks about is... Jay, this is an all-time great conversation right now.

    4. JS

      Before we jump into this episode, I'd like to invite you to join this community to hear more interviews that will help you become happier, healthier, and more healed. All I want you to do is click on the subscribe button. I love your support. It's incredible to see all your comments, and we're just getting started. I can't wait to go on this journey with you. Thank you so much for subscribing. It means the world to me. The number one health and wellness podcast.

    5. SP

      Jay Shetty.

    6. SP

      Jay Shetty.

    7. JS

      The one, the only Jay Shetty.

  2. 1:01 – 4:20

    Working On Self-Improvement

    1. JS

      Ed, you're so confident, you're so strong, you're powerful. But at the same time, I know that you are going through your own healing journey, your own struggles-

    2. EM

      Sure

    3. JS

      ... your own challenges. Like, what's, what have you been working on inside?

    4. EM

      Wow. What a great question. Thank you for that. I have to say, I told you off-camera, I know if I don't say this, I won't feel right. You have the most unique combination of confidence and humility about anybody I've ever met. Those are the people I love the most. I love being around confident people, but they have these high doses of humility, which keeps them, uh, humble. It, it causes them to still wanna learn and grow. They don't think they know everything. Those people last the longest in business and in any endeavor. Same time, if somebody doesn't have a lot of confidence, you're, feel like you're carrying those folks, your friends, through life all the time. So in my case, you know I grew up as a son of an alcoholic, and I think to some extent, there's these w- this wiring that happens when you're a child. And so some of the wiring I've recently discovered, I had Bert Kreischer, the comedian, on my podcast, and it sort of came out of me when he was there. Bert's a very well-known drinker, um, and it's almost a joke about how much that he drinks. And we're, I asked him, I said, "Bert, what kind of a husband or father do you think you are?" And he said, "I think I'm a 10 out of 10." And I think he is. And I told him, I said, "You know, I just discovered something about myself, brother," and it was that my dad's drinking, it wasn't just that I was worried, you know, is he gonna get in a fight, is he gonna be mean, are Mom and Dad gonna have a disagreement? I said, what happened was I worried about my dad. Is he gonna come home tonight? Is he safe? Is he in danger? And that wired into me as a little boy, the neurology, the pattern of worry and fear. And so as I've gotten to be an older grown man, I've uncovered that the last year or two. I have a pattern where I have a tendency, my emotional home, so to speak, is I go back to worry and fear, and I don't wanna w- I don't wanna live that way. And so I've been working on unwiring that. That's the thing I've been working most on my healing journey is, you know, it's okay. Everything's gonna be okay. I'm blessed. I'm favored. And it's undoing that wiring of worry and fear, because we all have an emotional home. We all have three or four emotions that no matter what happens in a given week or month, we're gonna get it.

    5. JS

      Mm.

    6. EM

      So if your emotional home is anger or worry or fear or frustration, no matter what the external conditions are, you're gonna find a way to get your hit of it-

    7. JS

      Mm

    8. EM

      ... 'cause it's your home. Conversely, if your emotional home is peace or equanimity or bliss or ecstasy, passion, focus, you'll find a way on a regular basis to get that emotion that you're familiar with, 'cause our- we're wired for it in our bodies and in our minds to be familiar with those emotions. So I just chose. What are the emotions I want? Do I wanna live in worry and fear? Even though my external life is so great, I still have a tendency to worry and live fearfully. Or do I w- how do I wanna live? I wanna live in peace.

    9. JS

      Mm.

    10. EM

      I want some equanimity. I want bliss in my life. And so I've been rewiring that, and it's something-

    11. JS

      Mm

    12. EM

      ... I've been really, really excited about and proud of that I've done that work at, you know, at 50 years old, 52 now. It's been happening.

    13. JS

      Oh, wow, I'm so glad I asked that question.

    14. EM

      [laughs]

    15. JS

      Already I'm like... Because I think you're so right. I think everyone who's listening will be able to relate to what their wiring is-

    16. EM

      Correct

    17. JS

      ... from childhood. Where do we go? What's our emotional home, as you just called it?

    18. EM

      Correct.

    19. JS

      Where do we disappear to? And it's really interesting, because I always talk about my childhood similarly being quite chaotic-

    20. EM

      Mm-hmm

    21. JS

      ... and quite intense.

    22. EM

      Mm-hmm.

    23. JS

      But my mother's love was like this protective shield-

    24. EM

      You've told me that, yeah

    25. JS

      ... that really helped me.

    26. EM

      Mm-hmm.

    27. JS

      And now when I'm

  3. 4:20 – 7:44

    How To Rewire Your Emotional Responses

    1. JS

      listening to you, I'm actually thinking what I want, and I think what we're both trying to develop, is peace in the storm.

    2. EM

      Amen.

    3. JS

      It's equanimity-

    4. EM

      Yeah

    5. JS

      ... in the imbalance.

    6. EM

      That's correct.

    7. JS

      Right?

    8. EM

      And in my case, not to create the storm all the time.

    9. JS

      No, no, no. [laughs]

    10. EM

      So, so, no, but in all honesty, I, a few things I discovered a few years ago, I used to brag a lot. I am unbelievable under stress.

    11. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    12. EM

      I operate amazingly under chaos, which is true, because I'm so familiar with it. But what I found out about myself was to some extent, I created a lot of it. I, in other words, I wasn't comfortable in my life. Maybe people can relate to this if they really take a look at themselves. I wasn't comfortable when things weren't a little bit chaotic, because in life, we move towards really what we're most familiar with.

    13. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    14. EM

      We keep moving back to the familiar. That's why some people will date the completely same person in a different body. You and I have talked about with your amazing work, right? 'Cause we move towards what we're familiar with. So I had a tendency in my life to create a lot of stress and chaos because I operated so well in it, it was a familiar state to be in, even though it didn't serve me.

    15. JS

      Mm.

    16. EM

      And so a lot of that work I've done in healing and digging deep in my life, it's served me not just in healing, it's made me a better businessman. It's made me a better father in often cases, a better friend, because I'm not constantly creating this stress and chaos around the people that I love the most.

    17. JS

      Yeah. How do you stop creating stress and drama?

    18. EM

      Well, one is be-

    19. JS

      And why do we do it, and how do we do it?

    20. EM

      We do it because we're familiar, and we wire these things in our bodies, and so this is really technical stuff, but I anchor-

    21. JS

      Please

    22. EM

      ... the good states. And so what happened was is that usually where wiring happens is in a highly emotional state. We anchor it in our bodies physically. That's what we do. And so the way out of that is to begin to anchor the great states. So I take advantage of great states. So for example, just a few weeks ago, my daughter was home from college and we took a walk on the beach, and it was just this blissful experience. It was me and the You know, one of the people I love the most in the world, and I'm feeling this great peace and love for my daughter as we're walking, and I anchored it. I literally anchored it in my body. I literally snapped my fingers as I went, and I anchored that state. And so, or when I'm walking on stage, I'm about to, you know, have to speak, and that, that adrenaline hits me, and that euphoria, the spirit, the energy hits me, I'll anchor that state physically. And so what happens is I'm rewiring myself physically. For example, like I pray, uh, on my knees every night, and so I've been doing that for a number of years. I feel great peace when I pray. What's ironic about it is not only is the prayer now peaceful, but the actual physical move of getting on my knees triggers that state.

    23. JS

      Mm.

    24. EM

      So this is a very detailed answer, but I've rewired-

    25. JS

      I want the detail.

    26. EM

      Yeah, yeah.

    27. JS

      We want the detail.

    28. EM

      Okay. So I've rewired. So everybody sh- you know, when you're in that blissful state... If anyone's ever heard a song from your, from a different time, and it just triggers a state, it's not the words and the music, it's what was going on in that moment. You've anchored it in your body. So when I'm in a good state, a great state, I take advantage of it. I don't let it pass. I anchor it in my body, and I've sort of rewired myself so that when these ones that I don't want come along, I have a neurology I can change-

    29. JS

      Mm

    30. EM

      ... out of that move and do something physical, and it's simple. It's not complicated. It could be tugging your ear, feeling something on your shirt, something you do on your knees. So I've created like triggers in my life that put me back in that state, and over time, that's become my wiring now-

  4. 7:44 – 11:13

    What Are Subconscious Anchors?

    1. JS

      you like because you spark so much for me. I was thinking that actually the truth is everyone already has subconscious anchors that we're not choosing.

    2. EM

      Yeah.

    3. JS

      And so an example is when I'm working with a client, often they'll say to me the moment their head hits the pillow-

    4. EM

      Yes

    5. JS

      ... all of their anxiety goes crazy.

    6. EM

      Yes.

    7. JS

      What is that?

    8. EM

      That's-

    9. JS

      It's an anchored state.

    10. EM

      It's actually your head hitting the pillow.

    11. JS

      Exactly.

    12. EM

      That's exactly right.

    13. JS

      That, that motion-

    14. EM

      Yes

    15. JS

      ... is creating a sense of breathlessness-

    16. EM

      Yes

    17. JS

      ... maybe tight-chestedness, mental anxiety. And until you retrain that act of I'm gonna let my head hit the pillow, I'm gonna experience peace. Maybe I'm gonna play a sound.

    18. EM

      Yes.

    19. JS

      Maybe I'm gonna feel a certain temperature. Maybe I need to do some breathwork. Like until you reanchor that state, like you're saying-

    20. EM

      Yes

    21. JS

      ... your head hitting the pillow will never change no matter what you do.

    22. EM

      No matter what you do. The external... As long as the external conditions of your life continually dictate how you feel, you're an out-of-control human being.

    23. JS

      Mm.

    24. EM

      So at some point you have to do things internally that change how you feel because the quality of our life, well, you know this, is the quality of our emotions.

    25. JS

      Mm.

    26. EM

      That's the caliber of our life. So I remember a long time ago, I'll tell you a quick story.

    27. JS

      Please.

    28. EM

      I, uh, I was f- I had not made a money for a long time as a businessman. I finally make some money, finally, right? But my emotional home was fear. And by the way, the other side oftentimes of fear can manifest itself as anger. It shows up as anger. But when you see an angry person, you're seeing a scared person. And so I was a worrier and a fearful person. Anyway, I was building my first dream home, and on the way over there, an appointment had canceled or something, and I was, "Ugh." And then the contractor had messed something up. We've all had that moment. And I walk into this mansion I'm building, and I'm mad, and I'm stressed, and I'm angry, and, "Ugh, where's the contractor?" And I look into the kitchen, and there's five men in there, five or six men in there. All men had come from Mexico, and these men had left their families, and the reason they had come there was to send money home to their families and work. And they're in there, and they were doing work they loved that they were great at, working on my mansion. And I watched them for a minute. I stood and watched them, and they had their mariachi music playing, and they were laughing and joking and blissful and also doing work they cared about, that mattered, that they were great at. And in that moment, I stepped back, and I almost out of my body, I went, "If life is the quality of your emotions, they're kicking my tail."

    29. JS

      Mm.

    30. EM

      "They're winning at life, and I'm losing. I have all these things to be grateful for around me, but my home that I keep going back to is fear, anger, and worry."

  5. 11:13 – 14:05

    Audit Your Goals

    1. JS

      we do, the more we take on, the more amount of things we do, the, the more likely we're gonna be successful.

    2. EM

      Yeah.

    3. JS

      And I wanted to talk to you about this in terms of your schedule-

    4. EM

      Mm

    5. JS

      ... 'cause I know that that's like-

    6. EM

      You and I have talked about this privately

    7. JS

      ... very important thing.

    8. EM

      Yeah, yeah.

    9. JS

      Yeah, like walk me through your schedule. What does it look like right now?

    10. EM

      It's busy, but I have learned, you and I just were talking about this, I've learned to say no, and I've learned, uh, this is just recent, I'm a people pleaser. And so a lot of times because I am... You know, I have a deep voice, and maybe I look a particular way. You wouldn't know that inside is this person, I just wanna please people and make them happy because of my childhood. If my dad was in a good mood, maybe he wouldn't drink that day. If I brought home an A on my report card, then he'd show me love. So I've, I conflated in my life, brother, love with significance, and I thought when I would do something significant, it felt like love, but they're two different things. Most people are that way as well. If I can just perform, if I can just do something, people will love me. So I've changed that. And in my schedule, so I, I have learned to do things that I love, that make me feel good, that contribute. My schedule's busy, though. I mean, I'm up very early in the morning most ear- mornings. I've got a routine that I do I travel quite a bit, just like you do. But what I've really learned to do is to choose things in my life that both are productive, but that also give me a sense of contribution and joy, not just productive anymore.

    11. JS

      Mm.

    12. EM

      So I've said no to things recently. There's a TV show that I'm doing right now. Another one came up, I, and I've always really wanted to do this particular show. It doesn't serve my current dream. So what I do is I check in and I ask myself, I audit, "Is that still my dream?"

    13. JS

      Mm.

    14. EM

      "Is that still what I want?" There's this great clip on social media going around right now with Jim Carrey. I don't know if you've seen this, but I've watched it and I've sent it to so many of our friends. I thought I sent it to you. Maybe I didn't. And he says something in this clip, I'll paraphrase it, I'll mess it up. But he basically says in this clip, he says, "I'm gonna say something you've never heard an actor say before." And the interviewer say, "What's that?" And Carrey says, "I've had enough. I've done enough. I've made enough movies. I've had enough success. I've won enough awards. And now I want to just do things that bring me peace and joy." That's a courageous choice in life.

    15. JS

      Mm. Mm.

    16. EM

      And so what he did is he audited, is this still my dream? And I think a lot of times in life, we just have this dream that was given to us by our parents or our friends, or there's an expectation, and we're chasing a dream that was maybe never ours-

    17. JS

      Mm

    18. EM

      ... or no longer is. And so now I really audit that. I audit the fact of whether or not this is something that is still my dream. Is it consistent with where I want to go now? So, but I'm busy. You know, I'm-

    19. JS

      Yeah

    20. EM

      ... 12, 14 hours a day, so my physiology matters, my hydration matters, my Juni water matters.

    21. JS

      [laughs]

    22. EM

      All these things matter to me in my life so that I'm feeding my soul and my spirit so that I am my best when I come do a-

    23. JS

      Mm. Yeah

    24. EM

      ... a show like this today.

    25. JS

      If anyone doesn't know, Ed was just on stage with our good friend Brendan Burchard-

    26. EM

      Yeah. Yeah, yeah

    27. JS

      ... in LA.

    28. EM

      That's right.

    29. JS

      Came straight into the studio.

  6. 14:05 – 17:55

    The Power of Intention

    1. EM

      Straight here, that's right.

    2. JS

      And, and you're always this energy. Like you have-

    3. EM

      Mm

    4. JS

      ... the ability, I think... I talk a lot about the difference between time management and energy management.

    5. EM

      Yes.

    6. JS

      And you're someone that, whenever I'm with you, you're always highly energetic.

    7. EM

      So are you.

    8. JS

      You're always... You know, there's that-

    9. EM

      Mm.

    10. JS

      I feel that. Y- I feel your spirit-

    11. EM

      Mm-hmm

    12. JS

      ... coming through your self.

    13. EM

      Well, I'm conscious, Jay, like you are. I'm conscious of something I think most people are oblivious to, and here's what it is. You are always making people feel something.

    14. JS

      Mm.

    15. EM

      Most people aren't aware of this. No matter what, you're making them feel something. It could be they could feel important and needed and loved. They could feel slighted and invisible. They could feel that you're demeaning to them, but you're making them feel something. So I try to really focus on my intentions.

    16. JS

      Mm.

    17. EM

      When I met Wayne Dyer when I was very young-

    18. JS

      Mm

    19. EM

      ... at that time, he was writing a book. What a beautiful man. If people don't know him-

    20. JS

      I never got to meet him. I've only read. Yeah, special.

    21. EM

      Well, I gotta tell you, you remind me a lot of Wayne.

    22. JS

      Mm.

    23. EM

      A lot. I mean, that... And, and he was a dear, dear friend. Just y- your spirit is very similar. And, uh, and I don't know a lot of people that remind me of Wayne, but you do. And, uh, he was so good to me. But when I met him, it's a funny story. It's a long time ago, but I was... I had... Luckily, I work out, so I'd won my first trip ever to Hawaii with the company I was at. And I got up in the morning before the sun was up, 'cause that's my routine, beat the sun up, and I, I ran on the beach. And as I'm running, this man's coming towards me. I could see him, bald guy, sweaty, hairy back. I'm like, "I don't want to bump into this guy."

    24. JS

      [laughs]

    25. EM

      And as he gets closer, I go, "Oh, my gosh, that's Wayne Dyer." It was in Maui. And he gets past me. We're both wearing Sony Walkman. That's how old we o- both are. And I pull my Walkman out.

    26. JS

      I had one of those too when I was a kid.

    27. EM

      You, okay.

    28. JS

      Yeah. [laughs]

    29. EM

      You're, you're dating yourself now.

    30. JS

      [laughs]

  7. 17:55 – 19:42

    How To Critically Analyze Your Intentions

    1. JS

      I've always said, whenever anyone asks me what my morning routine is-

    2. EM

      Mm

    3. JS

      ... the number one part of my morning routine, apart from meditation, workout, all that stuff, is refining and purifying my intention.

    4. EM

      Wow.

    5. JS

      I've always said that-

    6. EM

      Wow

    7. JS

      ... because I feel like your intention can either be a seed or a weed.

    8. EM

      Wow.

    9. JS

      And a seed is growing, and a weed, when it starts to grow, it looks the same thing as a seed.

    10. EM

      Very good.

    11. JS

      But my teachers would always tell us, they were like, "A weed will strangle the seed." Like, a weed will completely-

    12. EM

      Mm

    13. JS

      ... destroy a great plant-

    14. EM

      Mm

    15. JS

      ... because of its intention.

    16. EM

      What do you do... I'm curious. That's so good. Wow, that's really good.

    17. JS

      Yeah.

    18. EM

      What do you do with the weeds in your life when they begin to grow around you? Do you have a strategy for that?

    19. JS

      Yeah, I find that there's almost a mental plucking and extraction process.

    20. EM

      Mm.

    21. JS

      And it starts with an awareness-

    22. EM

      Mm

    23. JS

      ... of why am I making this decision, or what is driving me towards this?

    24. EM

      Mm.

    25. JS

      And if the intention is not love-

    26. EM

      Mm

    27. JS

      ... service, joy-

    28. EM

      Yeah

    29. JS

      ... growth-

    30. EM

      Yeah

  8. 19:42 – 24:27

    Follow-Through With Your Intentions

    1. JS

      you, how do you-

    2. EM

      Very good, Jay

    3. JS

      ... develop and build and help people choose an intention that lives off the page? Because I think we're all used to now, like, "My intention today is...," right?

    4. EM

      Yeah.

    5. JS

      But that's not what we're talking about.

    6. EM

      Yeah.

    7. JS

      How does your intention come off the page and-

    8. EM

      It's great

    9. JS

      ... come into your day?

    10. EM

      That's a great question. I tell them all, "You validate your intention with your action."

    11. JS

      Mm.

    12. EM

      So I like to v- I call it validating it, and so I, I like to give myself evidence that it's true. I'll give you an example. One of the things right now that I'm really working on in my life, and it's not easy for me 'cause I've lived another way. I love to just share the things that are negative about me because I think it gives people hope. If this guy as screwed up as he is-

    13. JS

      [laughs]

    14. EM

      ... can win, maybe I got some hope. And one of the things that I've lived with a lot in my life is I think I have judged people too much and not extended enough grace. And but the last 10 years of my life, man, I'm really proud of myself. I've extended grace to people. I feel better about me, brother, when I extend grace to another person. I just, I just feel good about me, particularly maybe when they don't deserve it in the moment.

    15. JS

      Mm.

    16. EM

      I'll give you an example, give you a quick story.

    17. JS

      Please.

    18. EM

      Yeah.

    19. JS

      The stories are great.

    20. EM

      Yeah.

    21. JS

      Keep 'em coming. I love 'em.

    22. EM

      Ab- about three weeks [laughs] ago my kids were home for the holidays, and, uh, so we were at dinner, and this is treasured time with my kids 'cause they're both away at college. And so we walk into a restaurant, great restaurant, not like an amazing place, but a good restaurant. And we walk in, and from the lobby I can hear these kids screaming. And I'm an introvert, so I like quiet meals. I like to actually be able to hear the people I'm talking [laughs] with. I like quiet restaurants. This was normally a very quiet place is why I picked it. This night it was not quiet in there.

    23. JS

      Mm.

    24. EM

      And I can hear these children screaming. And, you know, when you're a parent like I am, sometimes you're like, "What is... Why don't you... I would never let my kids act like that."

    25. JS

      Mm.

    26. EM

      It's easy to judge, and I didn't. So anyway, we walk into this restaurant, and guess who we sit next to? The table I could hear from the lobby. There's five kids at this table with two parents, and the kids are yelling and screaming and one of 'em's running in a circle out there, one of 'em threw some food. And the mother ha- kind of had her head down the whole time, and she really... The, my tendency would be to judge that family. This is an extreme story, but it gives you an example of why I work on the validating.

    27. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    28. EM

      So it's good enough to say my intention is to give people grace, but I need to validate it.

    29. JS

      Yep.

    30. EM

      And so my kids were kinda looking at me 'cause they know their dad.

  9. 24:27 – 31:18

    Remove Toxicity In Your Life!

    1. JS

      to ask you something.

    2. EM

      Yeah.

    3. JS

      There's a lot of people who I know will be listening.

    4. EM

      Mm.

    5. JS

      And I know that our community and our audience are good-hearted-

    6. EM

      Mm

    7. JS

      ... loving- ... wanting to be better people. We all wanna improve, as, as do I.

    8. EM

      Mm-hmm.

    9. JS

      I've got so much more healing left to do-

    10. EM

      For sure

    11. JS

      ... and I know our community does. But they often feel like even though they lead with love, everyone around them is causing them pain-

    12. EM

      Mm-hmm

    13. JS

      ... is negative-

    14. EM

      Mm-hmm

    15. JS

      ... is toxic. D- they don't feel that around them.

    16. EM

      Mm-hmm.

    17. JS

      And they almost get exhausted trying to be this bigger, graceful kind of person.

    18. EM

      Yeah.

    19. JS

      And I'm sure you've felt that. I know you're the right person to ask this question to.

    20. EM

      Yeah, yeah.

    21. JS

      What do you do when you feel everyone around you is bringing you toxicity, negativity, and poor energy?

    22. EM

      Mm-hmm.

    23. JS

      How do you operate?

    24. EM

      I reduce proximity to them in those moments, and sometimes they, they are the weeds that need to be weeded out of your garden, and that's the most difficult decision. But sometimes it's not weeding them out, it's reducing proximity. And then I've created some havens that I can go to to sort of escape that for a few minutes, and so some of those are actually people. I've got two or three people in my life that when these other people are losing it and axing- acting in a toxic way or acting out or antagonistic towards me or other people, I've got another person or two that I can go to.

    25. JS

      Mm.

    26. EM

      That shifts my state, that is my rock, that is someone that I can express myself to. For some people, that might be therapy.

    27. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    28. EM

      But in my case, I've got two or three just great friends that I can go to. They set me straight. They give me, um, they give me perspective.

    29. JS

      Yes.

    30. EM

      What great friends give me is they give me perspective. This will pass. They're going through something. Rise above this. And see, when some people walk into a room, they adapt to the energy in the room. Greatness is walking into a room and shifting the energy.

  10. 31:18 – 38:49

    You Are Born to Do Something Great with Your Life

    1. EM

      The truth is-

    2. JS

      Yeah

    3. EM

      ... the way you connect is by going, "Here's all the things on that aren't."

    4. JS

      Which is what we did in that car journey.

    5. EM

      Which is what we did in the car with each other, right? So, like, it's, it's you revealing your imperfections that connects you with people.

    6. JS

      Yeah.

    7. EM

      And just for everybody to remember, you were born to do something great with your life. And when you were a little boy or a little girl, there was probably one person who made you feel that way. And you ought to give yourself the gift right now of, who was that person? When you were a little girl or a little boy, they made you feel special. And there's probably only one, maybe two. Maybe it was your parents or your grandmother or grandfather, a coach, a, a religious figure. There's someone that was in your life and that you felt something about you because of the way they looked at you or-

    8. JS

      Mm-hmm

    9. EM

      ... spoke to you. And the amazing thing about that is they were right-

    10. JS

      Mm

    11. EM

      ... about you. They were right. For me, it was my papa, my dad's dad. I'm named after him, and he used to drive. He'd pick me up on Sundays. We'd go get donuts, Jay, to get for my cousins before church, and he'd drive me. I'd look up at Big Papa. Everyone, when you think about that person, you'll get emotional. For you, it's your mom, right? And he would look down at me and he'd go, "Eddie, you're my favorite." He had all these grandkids. "You're my favorite. You're amazing. You're gonna do something great with your life. You're the special." I go, "I am, Big Papa."

    12. JS

      [laughs]

    13. EM

      "I am." And as a little boy, I just could feel his belief and his love. He was the only person who ever treated me that way.

    14. JS

      Mm.

    15. EM

      The rest of the world's never treated me that way.

    16. JS

      Mm.

    17. EM

      But Big Papa did. And then when my other grandkids were born, I remember my cousin Peter was born, and Jay, you'll laugh at this. And he called me. He goes, "Hey, your cousin Peter was born today. He's amazing. Six pounds, seven ounces. He's got our blue eyes, Eddie." I go, "That's awesome, Big Papa." And he'd go, "But you're my favorite."

    18. JS

      [laughs]

    19. EM

      "You're my favorite."

    20. JS

      [laughs]

    21. EM

      And all my life, I've carried that feeling-

    22. JS

      Yeah

    23. EM

      ... from Big Papa with me.

    24. JS

      Yeah.

    25. EM

      And the truth is, if you've had that person in your life, they were right about you.

    26. JS

      Yes.

    27. EM

      You're supposed to do something great with your life.

    28. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    29. EM

      And the reason it makes you emotional when you think about it now is because it's true.

    30. JS

      Mm.

  11. 38:49 – 44:47

    You CAN Bend and Manipulate Time

    1. JS

      Absolutely. Walk me through how you've translated that grace, that love, that kindness into a plan for, like, 2024.

    2. EM

      Mm-hmm.

    3. JS

      Like, how do you translate that? Like, what does your day look like? What does a quarter look like? You've built businesses-

    4. EM

      Mm

    5. JS

      ... that are successful.

    6. EM

      Mm.

    7. JS

      I wanna know that part-

    8. EM

      Sure

    9. JS

      ... because I love that, that connection that I'm trying to make here-

    10. EM

      Yeah

    11. JS

      ... between this sincere heart with a strategic mind.

    12. EM

      It is my perception of time, and so I have, um, I believe you can bend and manipulate time.

    13. JS

      Mm.

    14. EM

      And, and so here's what that looks like. I don't buy into a 24-hour day. That's an archaic timeframe. See, you and I live in an age where, think about it, 100 years ago, if I wanted to get something done, I'd have to write it down somewhere, stick a stamp on it, or put it on the back of a horse a few hundred years ago, and you'd get it in a month, and then you'd translate and get it back to me in a month. Now I can text you in three seconds, but we're both gonna manage time in 24 hours.

    15. JS

      Mm.

    16. EM

      When I was in school, I had to go to a library to research something in a, in a thing called an encyclopedia, right? And then write it all down, type it on a typewriter. If you make one key mistake, you gotta redo it. Now I can Google it, print it out, and it's done, yet the same timeframes are managed, and so that's insane, right?

    17. JS

      Mm.

    18. EM

      I can email. I can text. I have got all these things on my phone. So we're still operating the same time construct-

    19. JS

      Wow

    20. EM

      ... as people did 50 years ago, 100 years ago, 200 years ago. That is insane.

    21. JS

      Mm.

    22. EM

      And so I have a huge advantage in my life that my days are mini days, and so I have three eight-hour days in a day. I get 21 days in a week. 21 days in a week. And so my first day is 6:00 AM to noon, and in that day... We've all had that day where we go, "Man, I've got more by 8:00 AM done than I've done in a week." That should be every day if you want it to be. It's your expectation of time. Here's the thing. When something is scarce, it's more valuable.

    23. JS

      Mm.

    24. EM

      Okay? So that's why a diamond is worth more than a piece of paper, because it's more scarce. When your time becomes more scarce, it becomes more valuable.

    25. JS

      Mm.

    26. EM

      And other people treat you with more value.

    27. JS

      Mm.

    28. EM

      So my- that's the one benefit. But my first day is 6:00 AM to noon, and in there, I'm trying to get in there the amount of productivity, joy, business, fitness, whatever it might be, that I would get in a 24-hour day, compressed and manipulated that time into s- to the eight-hour window. Why? Because of all the technology at my advantage. Now, there may be some days that's a Netflix and chill day for me. I'm not saying you have to be hyper-productive. That's okay. But maybe on Sundays a lot of people have that. I'll have a day like that, but it's not every day. And so the second day starts at noon, and it runs all the way... Usually I... Sometimes I even shrink them to six hours sometimes. Somet- I'll go 6:00 AM to noon, so that's a six-hour window. I give myself a two-hour buffer. The second day starts from noon to 6:00 PM, and in that second day, I'm trying to get the same amount of stuff I would get in in a 24-hour day in my six to eight-hour window. This year they're six-hour days. They're 6:00 AM to noon, noon to 6:00 PM, and 6:00 PM to midnight. Now, I'm gonna sleep in there. I'm gonna get rest. I'm gonna have laughter. I'm gonna have faith. I'm gonna have cooling at time. But now what happens is at about noon every day, [snaps fingers] this thing goes off in my head, and I evaluate. What did I get done? What do I need to double my efforts on? What can I celebrate? What did I learn? So when an average person does it at the end of their day, I'm doing it-

    29. JS

      Mm.

    30. EM

      ... at noon, and it now automatically goes off. It's weird.

  12. 44:47 – 50:21

    Get Into The Rhythm of Success!

    1. JS

      What's been the habit... 'Cause you also said you shifted from eight-hour days to six-hour days.

    2. EM

      Mm-hmm.

    3. JS

      Why... First of all, why did you do that? What, what was the benefit of that?

    4. EM

      The shift for me was that it was the one hours. I'm like, "Why am I taking these one-hour-long meetings?"

    5. JS

      Right, that was it. Right, right, right. Okay.

    6. EM

      If I move them to 28 minutes... And, and by the way, it's awesome.

    7. JS

      Yeah.

    8. EM

      And, and even you and I, even when we communicate, it's oftentimes it's like you and I have these beautiful, quick conversations, but they... And by the way, there are some times with my friends, I need to go deep, and we need three or four-

    9. JS

      Yeah

    10. EM

      ... five hours. But I also, I know there's a lot of times in life, like do you ever have that friend that doesn't know when the text exchange is done?

    11. JS

      [laughs]

    12. EM

      You know that person? You're like, "All right, man. We've got... Okay, it's over now."

    13. JS

      Yeah.

    14. EM

      Like, we're both gonna go now text other people or do other things. I've just gotten a little bit better at buttoning things up-

    15. JS

      Yeah, yeah

    16. EM

      ... you know, so to speak, too. I... Phraseology and terminology. I was in a meeting a long time ago with Alex Rodriguez. I'll never forget this. It was a really great meeting. And I know-

    17. JS

      [laughs]

    18. EM

      ... you know, you, you know them as well.

    19. JS

      Yeah.

    20. EM

      And so I was in a meeting with Alex, and uh, I'll never forget, he's such... He's a gracious dude. He's a good dude. But our meeting was supposed to end at 1:00 in the afternoon. And I remember we were in the middle of something, and I was at his house, and we were in a... We're- actually, we were at... Actually, it was back then. It was actually at JLo's house, but Alex was there. Anyway. And I remember at about, uh, 12:58 he looked at his watch, and that gave me a cue, and at 1:00 he just stood up k- kind of in the middle of the meeting.

    21. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    22. EM

      And that signified the meeting was over.

    23. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    24. EM

      And it wasn't rude. His team just knows when the meeting... Time's up. We're done. We're done.

    25. JS

      Yeah.

    26. EM

      And what that does is set a context and a tone that when we have a meeting that's this long, that's how long it is. And setting up those kind of disciplines and kind of barriers around your life, guardrails around your life, protects your time.

    27. JS

      And it's uncomfortable to do that because we feel, as people pleasers-

    28. EM

      Yes

    29. JS

      ... which a lot of us are-

    30. EM

      Mm-hmm

  13. 50:21 – 53:58

    You NEED To Create Structure In Your Life

    1. JS

      kind of, we have this checklist mentality of, "If I've done these three things, then everything else will go okay."

    2. EM

      Mm-hmm.

    3. JS

      But actually, all the other stuff needs to be managed and intentionally designed.

    4. EM

      Very true.

    5. JS

      I think... I've been talking a lot about this recently with people, that I think often we think if people are casual or relaxed or laid back, then things will work out better, but actually you find, as you're saying-

    6. EM

      Mm

    7. JS

      ... most success, productivity, and joyfulness is intentionally designed-

    8. EM

      Yes

    9. JS

      ... in order to create an experience.

    10. EM

      Yeah.

    11. JS

      And I wanted to get your thoughts on that. Like-

    12. EM

      You're a billion percent right, Jay.

    13. JS

      Yeah. Yeah.

    14. EM

      The higher you climb, there's all this other stimulus happening in your life, right? So if you don't create those constructs now, when you get to a point where, like, you get the things you want in your life, the demands on your energy and time only increase.

    15. JS

      Mm-hmm.

    16. EM

      And your ability to manage that and create structures around you that keep you productive, that is a huge thing you've just shared. I've watched a lot of people climb to a point, and when they get to that point, they didn't create new structures around them to support the next level. Every level you climb requires a different type of energy and structure. And so some things, even that I'm doing right now, I know maybe four or five years from now I'm gonna have to reevaluate those that'll change with the conditions of my life. For me right now, as busy as I am, it requires more intent to structure than ever in my life. And if I didn't create them when things weren't quite this busy, I don't think I would've continued to flow into the next state.

    17. JS

      Mm.

    18. EM

      And I've watched a lot of people get to a place, and then they can't navigate that next level because of the structure, maybe the lack of a team around them, quality people, management of those things. And so I'm always trying to be ahead structurally to my results.

    19. JS

      Yeah.

    20. EM

      What most people think is, "I'm gonna produce this thing, and then when I get there, I'll figure it out from there." That stagnates your growth. You've gotta be preparing and expecting that growth, and creating the structures around you-

    21. JS

      Oh

    22. EM

      ... to facilitate it so it continues to flow.

    23. JS

      So good.

    24. EM

      Yeah.

    25. JS

      So good. And I think we get sentimental, that we get sentimental.

    26. EM

      [laughs] Oh, it's so good.

    27. JS

      Like, "I can't let go of this habit-

    28. EM

      Mm

    29. JS

      ... or this structure or this thing because it got me here."

    30. EM

      That's so true. [laughs]

  14. 53:58 – 58:55

    How To STOP Procrastinating

    1. JS

      it again and again and again-

    2. EM

      Mm

    3. JS

      ... in the same people-

    4. EM

      So do I

    5. JS

      ... where they tell me, "Jay, I'm gonna have this done. I'm gon- I c- I, I'm accountable. I'm gonna commit."

    6. EM

      Yeah.

    7. JS

      But then somehow it still doesn't happen for them.

    8. EM

      Yep.

    9. JS

      What have you found is really useful insight for someone who finds themself constantly getting stuck? They know what they need to do-

    10. EM

      Mm-hmm

    11. JS

      ... they know how much time they have, but they keep procrastinating and overthinking.

    12. EM

      One, you're, you're trying to get your life back to your identity. You and I have talked about this analogy before, so I'll be quick with it, but your identity, your personal belief in yourself. Your identity is like the thoughts, beliefs, and concepts you hold to be most true about you. It's a thermostat setting on your life. We talked about this before. Give you two things. So, like this s- studio we're in, I don't know, 72 degrees in here right now, something like that. The external conditions, it's a cold, rainy day here in LA. The external cond- it's probably 50 degrees outside. That does not affect the internal thermostat in this room.

    13. JS

      Mm.

    14. EM

      It is 72 degrees. If it was 90 degrees outside, the air conditioners will come on and cool this room back to 72 degrees. You procrastinate because your results are about to exceed your identity, and you're turning the air conditioner on. So if right now you're getting 72 degrees of, you believe in yourself at 72 degrees of wealth or abundance or productivity, and you've started to heat it up to 85, 90, 100 degrees, you subconsciously turn the air conditioner on of your life to cool it back down-

    15. JS

      Mm

    16. EM

      ... to what you really believe you're worthy of and you deserve.

    17. JS

      Mm.

    18. EM

      So the deep work is you gotta raise that identity of what you believe you're worth to 85, 90, 100 degrees. How do you do that? Typically, proximity to people who live at that thermostat setting. They will heat you up to theirs. So that's a huge one.

    19. JS

      That is a hu- I just wanna-

    20. EM

      Yeah

    21. JS

      ... make that, you made that sound so simple and-

    22. EM

      Yeah

    23. JS

      ... you made it really easy.

    24. EM

      Mm.

    25. JS

      That is the huge one.

    26. EM

      Yeah.

    27. JS

      That is it.

    28. EM

      I, I-

    29. JS

      It is at that gut level

    30. EM

      ... I, I watch... That's why you'll see somebody who-

  15. 58:55 – 1:02:50

    Tie Your Identity To Who You Are, Not What You Do

    1. JS

      many times that you're so right, and I love that you addressed the first part about belief of what we deserve.

    2. EM

      Mm-hmm.

    3. JS

      I just want that to sit with people-

    4. EM

      Mm-hmm

    5. JS

      ... because, Ed, the way you, like, just put that out there-

    6. EM

      Thank you

    7. JS

      ... like, I'm like, that is exactly it.

    8. EM

      Thank you.

    9. JS

      That there is some part of us that just doesn't believe-

    10. EM

      Yes

    11. JS

      ... we deserve-

    12. EM

      Yes

    13. JS

      ... the level of success we're striving for.

    14. EM

      That's right. And those, those, those subtle subconscious air conditioners of our lives that cool down show up as coincidences, you know? But really they're not. They're by design because you're gonna cool your life back to what you believe you deserve every day. When I work with athletes, they're like, "What do you do with the pro athletes you work with?" I'm mainly... You know this. Even, what do most people want, like, when you- someone's really successful, what are you working on? I go, "Usually their identity or their confidence."

    15. JS

      Mm.

    16. EM

      It's usually those two things.

    17. JS

      Mm.

    18. EM

      And their identity is the more important thing. Now, the other thing that happens is for a lot of people with their identity is they'll attach their identity to the external, to their beauty, to their performance, to their career, and then when they lose that career or they lose that NFL football career they've got, then they don't know who they are without it. So this identity should be deeply rooted in who you are, not just what you do. That's a long-term-

    19. JS

      Yeah, let's talk about that-

    20. EM

      Yeah

    21. JS

      ... because I've been, I've been playing around with that a lot myself lately.

    22. EM

      Okay. Okay.

    23. JS

      And in, in trying to articulate that because I think the world has convinced us that what we do is our value.

    24. EM

      Yeah.

    25. JS

      So even people's- ... introductions to themselves-

    26. EM

      Mm-hmm

    27. JS

      ... is, "Oh, yeah, I'm an accountant. I'm a lawyer. I'm an author."

    28. EM

      Yeah.

    29. JS

      "I'm a coach."

    30. EM

      Yeah.

  16. 1:02:50 – 1:08:08

    The Three D’s That Will Lead To Burnout

    1. JS

      last question, Ed.

    2. EM

      Yeah.

    3. JS

      We've talked about peace.

    4. EM

      Mm-hmm.

    5. JS

      We've talked about productivity. How does it not lead to burnout when you're trying to do all this, right? You're working on the internal self. You're working on the productivity. It's like, gosh, Jay, I'm, I'm exhausted trying to do all this-

    6. EM

      Mm

    7. JS

      ... I'm exhausted trying to manage. Like, I, I wanna be successful, but I wanna be spiritual. I'm trying to do... I wanna be everything and do everything.

    8. EM

      Mm-hmm.

    9. JS

      Like, how do you... How have you managed, and what have been your reflections on burnout, exhaustion, and then, of course, ruining relationships in the process?

    10. EM

      Well, I've done all those. So I have experience in burnout and ruining relationships and messing things up. And w- and here's what I've learned. I want all the things I want, but I don't have to have them right now.

    11. JS

      Mm.

    12. EM

      And it's the right now of life.

    13. JS

      Yeah.

    14. EM

      I gotta be in a hurry. I gotta do it. I gotta do it. I gotta do it now, now, now, now. There's a power of now. Some people lack the ability to operate in the now. But for me, it's... I have built into my life rest.

    15. JS

      Mm.

    16. EM

      Last night, I slept 12 hours.

    17. JS

      Wow.

    18. EM

      And the reason was is I've been getting to the point right now where I'm tinkering on the edge of too much now, too much now, too much now. And so I reflect back on my faith. I reflect back on... I love... I mean, there's basic things I know you do, but I'm a big person on earthing and grounding. I love to get outdoors. I love to put my bare feet in the ground and let that recharge me. I'm real big on my recharge stuff now, and sometimes that means lots of sleep, believe it or not.

    19. JS

      Mm.

    20. EM

      I used to brag that I got five or six hours of sleep, and I could operate on that. And I've learned over time, maybe there's a season for that that's great, but there's also a season where I listen to my body. You're the best at this, but I've gotten better at listening to my spirit and my body. And when my spirit is screaming at me, "You need to rest. You need to recharge," I listen to my body. Especially at 52 years old, my body will speak to me even more now than sometimes it ever has in my life, and I listen to it. And I've given myself the gift. I'm not afraid anymore. You and I have talked about this privately. I'm not afraid anymore that I'm gonna lose momentum. I can say no to something. I can rest.

    21. JS

      Mm.

    22. EM

      I can recharge. I can reflect, and it doesn't mean I'm gonna lose momentum. I used to believe, "If I don't keep going, I'm gonna lose the momentum I've got." And the truth is that's an insecurity in me. That's my lack of identity screaming at me. And there's really three things, whether you believe in... whatever your spiritual beliefs are. But if I, if I was the adversary or the devil, what would I do to try to get you off track?

    23. JS

      Mm.

    24. EM

      What would I do? There's really three things. The first thing I would do is I'd get you to doubt. Three D’s. I'll get you to doubt. Can I get Jay Shetty doubting himself?

    25. JS

      Mm.

    26. EM

      Doubting that it matters.

    27. JS

      Mm.

    28. EM

      Doubting his ability. Doubting he can go to the next level.

    29. JS

      Mm.

    30. EM

      I'm gonna get him to doubt.

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