If You Want To Find & Build The Perfect Relationship, WATCH THIS! | Jay & Radhi Shetty

Radhi Shetty 0:00 You're never gonna be the same person you were a year ago, and if we're not watching each other grow, then you can lose the, like, spark. We change so much, and so you're kind of falling in love with a different person regularly if you're paying attention.

Jay Shetty 0:11 Then this is one of your talking points that you want us to talk about, was our Red Table Talk experience.

Radhi Shetty 0:15 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 0:16 So I'm getting ready, I'm trying to figure out what I'm gonna wear-

Radhi Shetty 0:19 Oh, yeah [laughs]

Jay Shetty 0:19 ... and, and what's going on. And then ... Shall I tell this one?

Radhi Shetty 0:23 Yeah, you go, yeah.

Jay Shetty 0:24 Okay. And then Radhi says, she's like, "So, so what should I wear?" Right? Very good question, normal question.

Radhi Shetty 0:31 I think I was cook- Yeah, I was cooking. I was, like, making something, and then I was running really, really late, and I was like, to you, "Oh," like, "what should I wear?" Like, you know, "What should I wear? What should I wear right now?" And, uh, you were like, "Oh, it doesn't matter, because you're not gonna be on camera. Like, just wear anything that you want. Just be comfortable. Wear whatever you want." So I had, like, five seconds to get ready, so I throw on, like, a T-shirt and jeans, um, and then you tell the rest. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 0:53 [laughs] And so, no, no, no, but she skipped a detail. She's being nice to me. I, I literally said to her, I was like, I was just like, "Wear anything. Like, it doesn't matter what you wear. You're not even gonna be on camera."

Radhi Shetty 1:03 Yeah. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:03 Right? Like, that's literally what I said to her, because it was meant to be an interview with me, and it was one of those moments that you live to regret as a husband and a partner, because I was literally like, "Yeah, it doesn't matter what you wear." Like, "Wear anything you feel comfortable in. You're not even gonna be on camera." Next thing you know, we get out of the car when we get there, we're both on camera from the moment we get out.

Radhi Shetty 1:20 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:21 Uh, Jada turns up to greet us and welcome us and just, you know, makes us feel so comfortable and welcomed and happy. And she's sitting with both of us, and literally after five minutes, her and her team are like, "We think Radhi should be on the episode as well."

Radhi Shetty 1:34 Yeah. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:34 And, and the only thing I can think of is, "Why did I say that? Why did I say that?"

Radhi Shetty 1:38 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:38 "Why did I say that?" And, and then they're like, "Radhi, would you feel comfortable doing it?" How did that feel for you as, like, you know, a few months before you'd been on my podcast with me, and that was a big step out of your comfort zone.

Radhi Shetty 1:48 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:49 Literally, I think it was, like, two months later you're on this, or maybe three months later, but how did that feel for you?

Radhi Shetty 1:55 Um, well, when she asked me, there was already cameras around us, so I was like, "I can't really say no." [laughs] Um, and I think I was just scared because I also ... You know when you need to mentally prepare for something? Um, and I take, I feel like I take a lot to mentally prepare for things that I'm doing or, like, going on. Um, and so yeah, as soon as she asked me, I literally just felt like my whole body go into immense anxiety. [laughs] And, um, and I can't remember, I think I said, "No, okay" [laughs] within, like, the space of two seconds. Um, but it was such a good experience, because it really pushed me to do stuff that I would've never, ever ... Like, if they'd asked me separately, I would've probably said no. Like, if they'd asked me beforehand and I had even time to think about it, I would've probably said no just because of my anxiety about it. But, um, it was so nice to be kind of pushed and, like, completely shoved out of my comfort zone, uh, because then when I watched it back, I was like, "God, I didn't even, don't even ..." Like, I have no recollection of that moment that I was on there. I don't know what I was saying. I feel like I wasn't even very present at the time because I was so nervous, but it really taught me, like, afterwards when I was looking back, I was like, it's actually really so nice to be able to share things that you've learned and, um, be part of something so special. And so, yeah, it was, it was a really good experience for me.

Jay Shetty 3:08 Yeah.

Radhi Shetty 3:08 Scary, but good.

Jay Shetty 3:09 [laughs] And there was the part where ... So I went on first, and we'd been having a conversation for around an hour.

Radhi Shetty 3:16 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 3:16 And then they bring Radhi to the table, and that's when you were like, I could see you behind-

Radhi Shetty 3:21 Yeah

Jay Shetty 3:21 ... the scenes. And te- tell us a bit about that.

Radhi Shetty 3:23 I was, like, pacing back and forth. I think I've never been so, like, my whole hands were, like, so sweaty. I was, like, so, I, I just, I can't even describe it. I don't think I've been that anxious or nervous for a very long time. Um, and then as soon as they said, "It's time for you to go on," I just had to completely drop, smile, and, like, walk on as if I was completely okay. [laughs] So, um, but no, it was, it was, again, like, such a great experience. And they, they make it so easy, because they make it so, you make, they make you feel so comfortable when you're sitting with them, so-

Jay Shetty 3:53 Yeah

Radhi Shetty 3:53 ... yeah, it was great.

Jay Shetty 3:53 So what we're gonna do, as I said before, is we're gonna go through these topics. So that was one of the-

Radhi Shetty 3:58 Okay

Jay Shetty 3:58 ... themes and topics that people wanted to hear about. Here are a few more that I want to check out, that we want to dive into.

Radhi Shetty 4:04 Hit me.

Jay Shetty 4:05 Let's start with this one. So this one was: After the honeymoon phase ends, how do you keep your attraction level high for each other and your relationship moving forward?

Radhi Shetty 4:13 Ooh.

Jay Shetty 4:14 It's a good question.

Radhi Shetty 4:15 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 4:15 Yeah, it's a really good question.

Radhi Shetty 4:15 When does honeymoon period end? Like, what, what, what do people say that normally is?

Jay Shetty 4:19 I don't know. I guess for most people it's, like, six months, a year, I guess.

Radhi Shetty 4:23 Into a marriage or into a relationship?

Jay Shetty 4:25 I think into a relationship, but I think it also can happen in marriage too, I guess.

Radhi Shetty 4:30 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 4:30 Because I guess, like, I think when you're getting married, like, it's such a fun moment, right?

Radhi Shetty 4:35 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 4:36 It's like, so we know dating, we know that in dating, 6 to 12 months, but then when you get married, it's like you have all your family-

Radhi Shetty 4:41 Yeah

Jay Shetty 4:41 ... and you have all these events, and then you have this big high, and then you get married. And obviously for us, after we got married, we moved in together-

Radhi Shetty 4:48 Uh-huh

Jay Shetty 4:48 ... and, and everything else that came from that. So I guess, let's talk about marriage, because I guess that's what we're-

Radhi Shetty 4:53 Okay.

Jay Shetty 4:53 That's, that's more recent for us both.

Radhi Shetty 4:55 I f- I feel like for us, we had to make a really conscious effort to go above and beyond for the other person, and really understand how the other person likes to have fun and how the other person really likes to, um, express their emotions. So then we try and facilitate our time together in a way that it allows us to both do that.

Jay Shetty 5:16 I remember we went to a football match the other, a soccer match.

Radhi Shetty 5:19 Oh, yeah.

Jay Shetty 5:19 It was in the US, it was at LA Galaxy Stadium, and we left at half time. [laughs] Like, that's, uh, that's all Radhi could do of watching a football match.

Radhi Shetty 5:26 Which is now good, because now you go with people who enjoy that with you.

Jay Shetty 5:29 Yeah.

Radhi Shetty 5:30 Um-

Jay Shetty 5:30 And I, and I think that's part of it. Like, I actually like going to watch football or basketball. Radhi likes basketball.

Radhi Shetty 5:35 I love basketball.

Jay Shetty 5:35 We love going to watch basketball together.

Radhi Shetty 5:37 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 5:37 But if, if I'm gonna watch football, it's like I also want to watch it with someone who's gonna get into it with me and get excited and be motivated.

Radhi Shetty 5:44 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 5:44 And so I don't feel like, "Oh, she doesn't wanna go with me, so then she doesn't care about what I care about," because it's the same way as I wouldn't want to go to something particularly that maybe I'm not interested in, whatever that is. Even though I seem to go with you to get pedicures and manicures and-

Radhi Shetty 5:58 Uh, he really loves that.

Jay Shetty 5:59 [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 6:00 He loves a good foot massage, loves a good pedicure. Um, you like-

Jay Shetty 6:04 We both love spas

Radhi Shetty 6:05 ... you like getting groomed.

Jay Shetty 6:06 We both love spas.

Radhi Shetty 6:07 Yeah. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 6:07 That works well.

Radhi Shetty 6:09 Um-

Jay Shetty 6:09 Uh, but we, we found that we liked doing experiences together, and she's re- very, we went to, this is more my kind of experience, but this last Christmas we went to Disney World.

Radhi Shetty 6:17 Oh, yeah.

Jay Shetty 6:18 And I've been wanting to go to Disney World for, like, ages. I haven't been back to Disney World-

Radhi Shetty 6:23 He is a big kid. Like, he absolutely ... I think for three, four, I can't even remember how many months before, six months.

Jay Shetty 6:29 Yeah.

Radhi Shetty 6:30 It probably like six months he's been so excited to go to Disneyland and to Universal. Um, and every single week he would probably mention it about his excitement for it. And, uh, and I think just through your excitement, I got excited about it. Um, yeah.

Jay Shetty 6:46 Yeah.

Radhi Shetty 6:46 He loved it.

Jay Shetty 6:46 So we end up at Disney World in Orlando and Universal, and it was just ... Oh, it was epic.

Radhi Shetty 6:52 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 6:52 Like, it was amazing. I loved it.

Radhi Shetty 6:54 It was actually really fun.

Jay Shetty 6:54 It was so good. Like-

Radhi Shetty 6:55 Especially at Christmas.

Jay Shetty 6:57 Yeah. What I love about it is the experience that those places create and a feeling. And because I'm a creator and a content creator, and I'm always like, "How can I create experiences that make people feel certain things and make people," you know, just how do you create something that makes people feel something and makes them feel excited and makes them feel passion and all of that. And I feel like they do it with such ease.

Radhi Shetty 7:19 Mm.

Jay Shetty 7:20 And Radhi actually fell unwell just before we went and when we got there.

Radhi Shetty 7:24 Oh, yeah.

Jay Shetty 7:25 And she soldiered through. Like, she was the sweetest person ever-

Radhi Shetty 7:28 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 7:28 ... because I knew that, A, it was more for me than it was for her, but she does get into it, too. And second of all, she, she fell unwell, and she got pretty unwell at that time, but she soldiered through and she was just-

Radhi Shetty 7:39 'Cause he'd been waiting for this for six months, and imagine I was like, "Mm, I'm just gonna stay here and I'm gonna watch a film and just get a bit better." No. There was like, I could not do that to him.

Jay Shetty 7:46 You could have.

Radhi Shetty 7:47 I could have. I didn't want to.

Jay Shetty 7:48 Yeah.

Radhi Shetty 7:48 And it actually was really good.

Jay Shetty 7:49 I really appreciated it.

Radhi Shetty 7:50 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 7:50 You, like, pushed through.

Radhi Shetty 7:50 I loved that.

Jay Shetty 7:51 You pushed through.

Radhi Shetty 7:51 So yeah, what do you think? What, how do we do the exci- how do we keep excitement, like, through it, after honeymoon period?

Jay Shetty 7:58 I think experiences is a big one.

Radhi Shetty 7:59 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 8:00 Like, really prioritizing experiences.

Radhi Shetty 8:02 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 8:02 We're not just like, "Oh, we'll find ... " You know, I don't think you can make attraction or chemistry or compatibility, I don't think you can take any of that for granted.

Radhi Shetty 8:10 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 8:11 I think that's a big one. Uh, you know, for, for men, get your hair cut regularly. You know, get your beard trimmed. That definitely helped. [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 8:18 He really thinks that. He really, really believes that he's got a new haircut.

Jay Shetty 8:22 He do-

Radhi Shetty 8:22 I don't know whether you guys have noticed, but, um, he's changed his hairstyle and he genuinely thinks that his hairstyle has changed-

Jay Shetty 8:28 [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 8:28 ... the way that I look at him.

Jay Shetty 8:30 It works, guys. If you, the men's groomer on Instagram-

Radhi Shetty 8:33 Like, he genuinely believes it

Jay Shetty 8:34 ... Jason, you are the man.

Radhi Shetty 8:35 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 8:36 I love you. You're amazing.

Radhi Shetty 8:38 Do you tell this story way too much?

Jay Shetty 8:39 It's a good story.

Radhi Shetty 8:40 I know. You love it.

Jay Shetty 8:40 It's true. It's the truth.

Radhi Shetty 8:41 Um-

Jay Shetty 8:41 Uh, but, but no, I, I mean, le- le- okay, let's get to it. So the experiences are a big one.

Radhi Shetty 8:46 I think getting to know each other more and more dur- as months go on and how we're changing as well, I think that makes a difference, because you're never gonna be the same person you were a year ago. And if we're not watching each other grow and watching each other, uh, like mold into different people and observing that, then actually that can also be something that can, you can lose this, like, spark, because actually we change so much, and so you're kind of falling in love with a different person regularly, if you're paying attention. Um, which I think that's, that's quite cool.

Jay Shetty 9:14 Yeah.

Radhi Shetty 9:14 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 9:14 And I think that's a really good point, actually, that you gotta be open to the fact that the person's becoming different.

Radhi Shetty 9:20 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 9:20 And you've got to want to be able to fall in love with the new person rather than trying to keep them the same.

Radhi Shetty 9:25 Exactly.

Jay Shetty 9:26 Rather than being like, "Oh, wait a minute, you weren't like this when I married you."

Radhi Shetty 9:28 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 9:28 Like, "You were like this," or, you know, "You were less like this when I married you, and now you've changed," or all of that kind of language-

Radhi Shetty 9:35 Yeah

Jay Shetty 9:35 ... that often comes in relationships. Like, I feel like we are actually very different people.

Radhi Shetty 9:41 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 9:41 Right?

Radhi Shetty 9:42 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 9:42 Like, we're very different people.

Radhi Shetty 9:43 For sure.

Jay Shetty 9:43 Like, I think you really ground me, you center me, you remind me of what's really important. You are more energetic than me.

Radhi Shetty 9:54 In different ways.

Jay Shetty 9:55 Yeah. And, and just, like, I feel like we're actually very different, and people will be like-

Radhi Shetty 10:00 Mm

Jay Shetty 10:00 ... "Well, how do you ... " But we have the same deeper values.

Radhi Shetty 10:03 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 10:03 Like, our spiritual values are the same. But also, not just our spiritual values, I feel like we both are able ... I, I feel this is it, I feel like we're both able to love each other for who we are-

Radhi Shetty 10:16 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 10:16 ... rather than who we want the other person to become for us.

Radhi Shetty 10:19 Yeah. For sure. And I think we, we've kind of had that from the beginning, or at least for most of our relationship we established that. And I think it was good because we did those, like, those rules of things that we knew we didn't want to change about ourselves, or that we really felt were important to each other. Um, but yeah, no, I agree. I think, I think that's a really good point.

Jay Shetty 10:39 Okay, let's take the next one. The next one is-

Radhi Shetty 10:40 Okay

Jay Shetty 10:40 ... when your partner is fully committed to a priority or project and you're feeling unseen, how do you help yourself?

Radhi Shetty 10:48 Ooh. What's that film where they go, "I see you"?

Jay Shetty 10:51 I don't know.

Radhi Shetty 10:52 Anybody know?

Jay Shetty 10:53 Isn't that just-

Radhi Shetty 10:54 No, it's like-

Jay Shetty 10:54 Don't we just do that?

Radhi Shetty 10:55 No, no.

Jay Shetty 10:55 No.

Radhi Shetty 10:55 It's, like, a couple thing where they're like-

Jay Shetty 10:57 Oh

Radhi Shetty 10:57 ... "I see you," which means, like, you know, "I love you." Okay.

Jay Shetty 11:00 [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 11:00 Anyway, if you know, then comment below and tell us.

Jay Shetty 11:02 [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 11:03 Um, I feel like you're really, really good at balancing, like, he has a really, really crazy schedule. Like, I don't think I've seen anybody with a crazier schedule than, than him, and the way that he's able to really balance his work but then still always prioritize me, like, I never feel like I'm not a priority. And I think it's, um, I mean, I th- don't know whether we spoke about this in the last one about quan- we did it, didn't we, about quality over quantity. Um, but he really lives that and he's like that with everybody around him, and so, like, you get a good ... He's so focused, so attentive, um, so even in the time that we do spend together, even if he has a crazy, like, week, two weeks, a month, or if I do, um, then the time that we are actually able to spend together, you're so attentive and focused. And actually, if I ever need you or anything needs to, like, I need you to do anything for me, or if something's urgent for me, or if you just feel that my emotions are even changing or I'm feeling, like, a little bit sad or anything, like, you're always are there, attentive to pick up on it, and you always change everything around to just be there for me in those times. And so I feel like, I can't really say that I feel like I've been unseen by you. I think we've learnt how to pick up on each other's emotions and know when to show up for the other person, which I feel like maybe we didn't have at the beginning of our marriage, but I think that we've really learnt to understand that from one another, and it's, and it's definitely changed the way that we feel loved by one another now.

Jay Shetty 12:28 I just miss her every day. Like this year she was in London for like-

Radhi Shetty 12:31 Yeah

Jay Shetty 12:32 ... a long time

Radhi Shetty 12:33 In, yeah, a month. A month, a month.

Jay Shetty 12:33 She was with her family, she was with, uh, the restaurant she's been working on.

Radhi Shetty 12:37 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 12:38 And she was go- like we didn't spend time together I think over a period of, I'd probably say like, there were like six weeks we didn't actually properly see each other.

Radhi Shetty 12:47 Yeah, probably.

Jay Shetty 12:48 We weren't not ... There were probably like six weeks that we didn't see each other. We weren't in the same country for a lot of that.

Radhi Shetty 12:53 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 12:54 I was in LA and she was in London, and on top of that we weren't talking all the time, but with Radhi she's really good at sending me voice notes, which are hilarious.

Radhi Shetty 13:04 Yeah, exactly. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 13:05 Sending me funny selfies, which I absolutely love, like getting.

Radhi Shetty 13:08 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 13:08 I just [laughs] her pulling like the funniest faces ever, and then her trying to call me as much as she can.

Radhi Shetty 13:14 Mm.

Jay Shetty 13:14 And that's how I, I am, I'm the same way. Like I don't feel like we've set rules about when we are apart, we just get on with stuff.

Radhi Shetty 13:21 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 13:21 So like the way I deal with it if she's busy with a project is I book out my whole schedule, whether that's spending time with myself, which I really enjoy, and, and I think that's a really important one, that when I know she's busy and she's really focused and she can't like be on a phone call all the time or talking and our time difference, for me it's like that's my time alone.

Radhi Shetty 13:40 Mm.

Jay Shetty 13:40 Like that's an opportunity for me to really invest in my relationship with myself and how I feel and what I'm doing for myself. So this year I started playing more tennis.

Radhi Shetty 13:49 Oh, yeah, you did. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 13:50 I started prioritizing my exercise. I started spending more time at the gym. Like I was just thinking about like, "What can I do to invest in myself during this time?" I was spending more time with friends. I was catching up with people I haven't seen in a long time. And it's not that she's not available for a phone call or to talk to or to message, it's not that. It's just, hey, here's my time to spend a bit of quality time with myself, and I think that's such an important thing, and I know you do it as well when I'm traveling-

Radhi Shetty 14:13 Yeah

Jay Shetty 14:13 ... for work and stuff. And I think we've both built that independence up, and at the same time then I was just so excited to see her. I couldn't wait for the day she was coming back, and I remember that hug that we had when you f- the day you came back.

Radhi Shetty 14:25 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 14:26 Like it was just like, I was so happy to have you back.

Radhi Shetty 14:27 I know, me too.

Jay Shetty 14:28 And so I actually love that feeling of missing her, and I also love that feeling of having time to really invest in my relationship with myself.

Radhi Shetty 14:37 And how about when you like, have you ever felt a time when you felt unseen by me?

Jay Shetty 14:42 No.

Radhi Shetty 14:44 I think we had-

Jay Shetty 14:44 No. We talked about that last year like when there were times-

Radhi Shetty 14:46 Yeah

Jay Shetty 14:46 ... but not, not in the past 12 months.

Radhi Shetty 14:47 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 14:47 Not in the past 12 months.

Radhi Shetty 14:48 I think we've really learned to detect when each other need [laughs] anything like that.

Jay Shetty 14:50 Yeah, I think last year we talked about a lot of the times when we've made that mistake, but I think in the last 12 months, no.

Radhi Shetty 14:55 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 14:55 All right. Let's do the next one. Okay. So what would you say annoys you the most about your partner? All right, I'm gonna go first 'cause it's easy.

Radhi Shetty 15:04 Okay, go on.

Jay Shetty 15:05 Okay. So for me it is my chargers and my tech.

Radhi Shetty 15:08 Oh my gosh. Like why-

Jay Shetty 15:10 Look, so-

Radhi Shetty 15:11 No

Jay Shetty 15:11 ... so, no, wait, wait. I'm gonna go for it. Okay. So-

Radhi Shetty 15:13 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 15:14 I have chargers-

Radhi Shetty 15:16 [laughs] I know. Go on, carry on

Jay Shetty 15:19 ... I have chargers placed in every key location in the home. I have one by my bed, I have one at my study, I have one in the corner of where the TV is. Like I just have chargers everywhere because I use my phone a lot. I'm in lots of different locations. I have one in the car. And so I like to be able to charge it. I don't like being moving around. So then chargers stay where they are.

Radhi Shetty 15:38 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 15:39 Often I will find chargers have moved locations. Chargers are no longer in those locations.

Radhi Shetty 15:44 My mom's gonna get well happy with this because I do this to her when I go home as well, and she says the same thing to me.

Jay Shetty 15:49 Yeah. Chargers are missing. So what I decide to do, because, [laughs] because the worst thing is when I notice this and I'm like, "Radhi, that's my charger," she's like, "No, it's not."

Radhi Shetty 15:56 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 15:57 She's like, "No, I, I bought this." Like I'm like, "No, that is my charger." And she'll be like, "No, no, no. I-"

Radhi Shetty 16:01 Uh, just to be clear, iPhone chargers all look the same.

Jay Shetty 16:04 So, so I went a step further and got a different colored cable.

Radhi Shetty 16:08 This you did.

Jay Shetty 16:08 'Cause I was like, "This is it." Right? Like I've got this bright pink cable.

Radhi Shetty 16:12 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 16:12 Like there's no chance that she bought the same bright pink as-

Radhi Shetty 16:15 I thought you bought it for me.

Jay Shetty 16:16 No. Yeah, exactly. And then that happens with that too. So that is probably the most annoying thing.

Radhi Shetty 16:22 Yes.

Jay Shetty 16:22 I, I-

Radhi Shetty 16:22 I do see the annoyance come out fiercely-

Jay Shetty 16:24 [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 16:25 ... when he can't find a charger. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 16:26 Last night.

Radhi Shetty 16:27 Yeah, last night I was sleeping, and he was like, "Radhi, where's my charger?"

Jay Shetty 16:31 [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 16:32 I was like, "It's in my bag. Why is it in your bag?"

Jay Shetty 16:34 [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 16:35 [laughs] Yeah.

Jay Shetty 16:36 Okay. So that's probably my number one thing I think.

Radhi Shetty 16:38 Okay. Um-

Jay Shetty 16:38 I got, I'm trying to think of other stuff, but that's definitely-

Radhi Shetty 16:40 What's the thing that annoys me about you?

Jay Shetty 16:43 Yeah.

Radhi Shetty 16:43 Hmm. Oh, I know. Well, I don't know whether this is actually a thing that ... Yeah, okay.

Jay Shetty 16:48 You talked about my shoes last time, so we've got to-

Radhi Shetty 16:49 No, I'm not talking about shoes. Um, the one thing that annoys me is that ... Oh, because he has this really annoying photographic cr- weird memory where he can actually remember every single thing. And so even if I'm right, and even if I know I did something, because I know he's got this memory I then question myself.

Jay Shetty 17:08 [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 17:09 Because like I know for a fact like something has happened, and I say that to him, or I know I've told him something, but because I know how good his memory and how like weird his brain is, I then question myself because I'm like, "Mm, he does have that. Like he does know how to remember every single thing that someone possibly says." So then I question my, my memory abilities-

Jay Shetty 17:29 [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 17:29 ... because of your like genius brain.

Jay Shetty 17:32 That's not nice.

Radhi Shetty 17:32 So yeah, that's, that's a bit annoying.

Jay Shetty 17:34 Five almonds a day, guys. My mom trained me. Five almonds a day.

Radhi Shetty 17:37 Apparently a Ayurvedic remedy. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 17:39 Is it?

Radhi Shetty 17:39 No.

Jay Shetty 17:39 Oh. [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 17:40 But almonds do have that quality, yeah.

Jay Shetty 17:42 Really?

Radhi Shetty 17:42 Yeah. They're meant to be good for brain power.

Jay Shetty 17:44 What else is, what other nuts are good for brain power?

Radhi Shetty 17:46 Walnuts. That's why they're shaped like a brain. Did you know that?

Jay Shetty 17:49 Yeah.

Radhi Shetty 17:49 Walnuts are shaped-

Jay Shetty 17:49 You told me that before.

Radhi Shetty 17:50 Oh, yeah. Um, all nuts really, nuts and seeds, they have really good, um, good, um, ingredients that are meant to be good for brain power.

Jay Shetty 17:59 Okay.

Radhi Shetty 17:59 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 18:00 All right. Next question is what's something your partner has said to you that really hurt you but served as a valuable lesson?

Radhi Shetty 18:08 Um, oh, I know what mine is. You always tell me that I don't know how to like utilize my time well, which didn't hur- which, no, in t- in like, in like a, in a good way though. In terms of like I have-

Jay Shetty 18:18 I've never said that to you

Radhi Shetty 18:19 No, you do. As in not, not in a bad way, but you always say that I need to learn how to, you know, use my time in a way that's efficient, because I know I don't. Like I'm a big procrastinator. It's never come like in a rude way from you. It's when I've been talking about what I'm struggling with, um, whether it's to do with things that I wanna get done or, um, how I feel like time just gets away from me throughou- and a whole day goes by and I feel like I've hardly got anything done. And, um, I have this really bad habit of just either procrastinating or not knowing how to prioritize things. And so I'll end up having a list of to-do, and I'll end up doing everything that's completely not on my list like d- ... reorganizing a kitchen cupboard instead of what's actually on my list of things to do. So you get, you, you, you talk about this a lot. It wasn't just that line, but when you tell me that about myself, I know it's definitely true 'cause it hits home.

Jay Shetty 19:09 Mm.

Radhi Shetty 19:09 So not, I don't think you... We don't really, I feel like we don't often, we have never been in a situation where we don't filter what we say to each other. Like, even if we're really upset with one another, or even if we're angry or whatever it is, I don't feel like we burst out, like, words that we don't mean.

Jay Shetty 19:25 Mm-hmm.

Radhi Shetty 19:25 Um, yeah, I don't think, I don't think we've ever really done that. I don't think we've been so harsh with our words in, in arguments or when we feel upset with one another.

Jay Shetty 19:33 Yeah, I, I just feel like with that type of stuff, you have to be careful about that with your partner because-

Radhi Shetty 19:38 Yeah

Jay Shetty 19:39 ... you've gotta look at this person, like, every night before you go to bed. You have to see them every morning when you wake up.

Radhi Shetty 19:46 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 19:47 And if you say stuff you don't mean too often, either it becomes real-

Radhi Shetty 19:53 [clears throat]

Jay Shetty 19:56 ... or that person feels, like, just like a joke has an element of truth-

Radhi Shetty 20:00 Mm

Jay Shetty 20:00 ... even if you say something you don't mean that's extreme, there's still an element of truth, and now that person has that with them.

Radhi Shetty 20:07 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 20:07 And I know one thing that I used to say that I stopped saying in our relationship was, for a long time I used to say things like, "Oh, you know," like, "we don't, I don't re- I can live without you if I needed to."

Radhi Shetty 20:17 Oh, yeah.

Jay Shetty 20:17 And I used to see that as a sign of strength to say that, and that came from me just being detached and, you know, being independent. But then I started to see, like, that type of language in a relationship, and I never said it in a mean way or a extreme way, but just that statement, what those words actually mean, you end up pushing your partner away. And so you gotta be so careful with your words that you say to your partner because if you're saying something just to get a reaction out of them, or you're saying something to... It's like being 16 again, you know, like when you would-

Radhi Shetty 20:45 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 20:45 ... when you say something to your friend just to get a reaction out of them.

Radhi Shetty 20:47 Yeah, yeah.

Jay Shetty 20:48 But it's, like, you can't live like that with your partner because you're just with them so much of the day-

Radhi Shetty 20:53 Yeah

Jay Shetty 20:53 ... that you gotta be so intentional and focused on how you speak to people.

Radhi Shetty 20:57 Mm.

Jay Shetty 20:57 So yeah. Uh, what's the one that you... So what's my thing? What would you, what's something your partner said to you that really hurt you but served as a valuable lesson? I don't think you've ever said anything hurtful to me.

Radhi Shetty 21:09 What about, what about when I said I didn't like your hair? [laughs]

Jay Shetty 21:13 There are, oh, okay.

Radhi Shetty 21:14 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 21:14 Yeah, I mean, there are times when, like, I've worked really hard on something.

Radhi Shetty 21:18 Oh, yeah.

Jay Shetty 21:19 Like, oh, yeah, yeah. This is it. This is it.

Radhi Shetty 21:20 Okay, go on, tell me. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 21:21 There are times when I've worked really hard on something like a video, or I've been on a photo shoot, or-

Radhi Shetty 21:27 Oh, yeah, we have a lot of those moments

Jay Shetty 21:28 ... we've just launched a podcast logo or whatever. I've worked really hard on something, and I'll show Radhi to get her feedback, and Radhi is just so honest. Like, she is just honest. Like, she does not hold back.

Radhi Shetty 21:42 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 21:42 Like, she would just say it as it is. And in the beginning, and even there are some times now, where, like, my ego gets hurt or when my emotions get hurt, but then I'm like, "Actually, I'm so lucky that I have someone who's so honest." And that's become a valuable lesson for me because if she wasn't like that and she just said yes, yes, yes to everything I did, then I would never know whether if I was doing something was good or not. Whereas I know now if I show her a video and she's like, "I don't like that, I don't like that, I don't like that," then I'm like, "Oh, at least she cares to be honest with me rather than just be like, 'Oh, yeah, that's the best video I've ever seen,' and then we put it up and then no one likes it." And so for me, like, I've learned to value her honesty, and she's just raw sometimes. Like, she'll straight up be like, "Nah, it's terrible," right? But it's n- it's in a loving way because it's out of care, ultimately-

Radhi Shetty 22:27 Yeah

Jay Shetty 22:27 ... in terms of getting the right thing. So for me, I've take- I think that's the one. That's the one it is for me. So I actually value Radhi being honest with me as opposed to either lying to me or just saying yes for the sake of it, or just to make me feel better. So that's mine.

Radhi Shetty 22:41 Okay, fair.

Jay Shetty 22:42 Yeah.

Radhi Shetty 22:43 I agree.

Jay Shetty 22:43 Okay.

Radhi Shetty 22:43 I do do that.

Jay Shetty 22:44 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 22:45 All right, okay. So here we go. What's the next one? Okay. How do you decide what you guys show to the public and what you keep private?

Radhi Shetty 22:53 Good question. We've, I've been talking to you about this a lot, haven't I? Um, I find I get asked a lot why I don't share, like, so much of mine and Jay's relationship on my page, um, whether it's, like, pictures or whatever it is. And I find, like, you're so sweet and you're so expressive on your page, and I feel you're like that whether it's with me or whether it's with your friends or, like, whoever comes on your podcast. Like, you genuinely want to show appreciation and love on your page, and I think that's such a wonderful thing. But I think it's really good for people to know that there can be different types of people in relationships. And so that is him, and that's how he likes to express himself. Um, along with being so expressive in person, that's how he is. Whereas for me, I just, um, I don't know, there's a part of me that just likes keeping that to ourself. But also, I find generally, and especially for women, a lot of, um, like, posts online of, of people who look very, very happy together and, you know, that have, um, a lot of relationship posts, it can actually agitate a lot of people who are feeling quite sad about that area of their life. And unfortunately, that is really prominent in society at the moment. Like, a lot of people are really upset in their relationships or, um, not dating and finding it really difficult. And so, um, I often try and just avoid posting things that I think might just agitate people in that way, especially because love is the one thing that people are searching for so much. And so I do post things, and I do post fun stuff with us, but I like to leave some of the stuff for just us to, for me to be able to say to you privately, and yeah, not online.

Jay Shetty 24:30 Yeah.

Radhi Shetty 24:30 That's just, yeah. That's just how, how I feel. And I feel it's, sometimes I've actually felt like, "Oh, maybe I should, like, write a really sweet post online and, you know, say to him." And I'm like, "Oh, but maybe I just wanna write in his card." And then I write it all out, and then I just delete it. And I write what I actually feel like writing, which is something just sweet, light, and, like, just relaxed rather than, you know, having that emotional outpour online, which I find a bit difficult to do, so.

Jay Shetty 24:54 Yeah.

Radhi Shetty 24:55 Yeah. And I think that's o- like, it's, it's okay to be both people. And I think there's beauty in what, how you are online, um, and how you express yourself. But I feel like I just wanna protect that part of me a little bit and not have that, have that so much out there.

Jay Shetty 25:07 Yeah. And I, and I think for me it's- I'm always thinking about, like, what can I share with you that's gonna be useful to you? So if you're listening or watching right now, I wanna make sure that anything I'm sharing in our relationship is actually helpful to you, is useful to you, is real for you as well. Like, why are we doing this conversation? Because we get to talk about what goes wrong, what we don't like-

Radhi Shetty 25:26 Yeah

Jay Shetty 25:26 ... about each other, what, what doesn't work, or not what we don't like about each other, but-

Radhi Shetty 25:29 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 25:29 ... what annoys each other. You know, all of the things that we're talking about already right now, to me, I want you to see that.

Radhi Shetty 25:34 Mm.

Jay Shetty 25:35 I, I want you to hear that because I want you to hear that people can be different, people can have different opinions, they can have different priorities, but they can still love each other and they can still be together. And so for me, sometimes the reason why I share those messages is just because I'm like, "This may be relevant to someone out there." And that's why we did last year's podcast. That's why we're doing this one, because I'm hoping when you hear it, you'll be like, "Oh, wait a minute, that's me and my-"

Radhi Shetty 25:56 Yeah

Jay Shetty 25:56 ... "boyfriend, girlfriend, partner," whatever it is. Like, "That's me and my friend." Like, I want you to hear that and recognize that you can work through this stuff, that with work, with effort, you can actually get there. So yeah, that's what- how I decide what I'm gonna share. Okay, next one. Uh, have you ever felt pressurized by your partner in any way?

Radhi Shetty 26:17 Um...

Jay Shetty 26:20 I ha- I have to be honest and say no with this one-

Radhi Shetty 26:22 Yeah

Jay Shetty 26:22 ... in the sense that I feel like you've been really great at coaching me through my growth in areas that you're more advanced. So when it comes to health, Radhi is far more health-conscious in what she eats and her exercise routine, and it's, it's, it's beautiful for her wellness and how she sees wellness as this wholesome thing. And she's been that way since we've been together, and I have always focused on my mental health, but not as much on my physical health, and I've never felt forced by Radhi or pressurized by her to become someone I'm not when it comes to my physical health. I've always felt coached and guided by her. So I remember when we first moved to LA, she was the one, like, h- looking for a personal trainer for me because she was like, "I know that..." You know, I told her that that was the only way I would be able to get into that rhythm, and so she was doing that research for me. And then when it comes to my food, she's always making sure that whatever she cooks is right. And even though she loves spicy food, because spicy food's not good for me, she makes sure that the food she cooks for both of us is not spicy. And so I've always felt, like, very encouraged, and now that I'm at, like, feeling like the best I've felt ever, it's like I feel so happy about that because I, I feel like I did it in my own time, I did it for myself, and I have a practice and ways of doing it that are right for me. And often when things are pressurized, it's very much like, "Well, this is how I do it. This is how you should do it."

Radhi Shetty 27:51 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 27:51 "And this is what you need to do." Whereas for me, it's like I'm doing it for myself, I've found my way of doing it, and I did it in my time. And to me, having someone, especially a partner, who wants you to be healthy, but not doing it in a way that makes you feel bad about yourself, like, I... Yeah, at one point, I was probably eating too much sugar or eating too much chocolate or whatever it was, and Radhi never made me feel bad about it, but she would educate me as to why it could be better, and I feel like being educated in that way is, is a much smarter way of helping your partner actually grow.

Radhi Shetty 28:22 [laughs] I'd be like, "Did you know that that granola you're eating is the same as..."

Jay Shetty 28:27 That is literally-

Radhi Shetty 28:27 Yeah. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 28:27 ... how you see it.

Radhi Shetty 28:28 "There's the same amount of sugar in this as this," and you'd be like, "Oh my gosh, I had no idea."

Jay Shetty 28:32 Yeah.

Radhi Shetty 28:32 Yeah, it's so much about education. Um, I think with pressure, actually one thing that I thought of when I heard that question was I also don't feel like you've ever pressured me, and one of the main things for me was when we actually met, you just, you know, you were recently a monk before that. And so i- in my eyes, I was like, "Oh my gosh," and I was just kind of starting my meditation practice at that time. And so for me, it was, yeah, I always thought, "Oh my gosh, am I, like, gonna feel really, really pressured by the, by the knowledge that he has and by the way that his meditation practice must be so deep and powerful and, um, all of that?" You know, I, I thought I would feel that way, but actually, you were just such a wonderful guide and teacher in allowing me to explore it myself because, just like you said, I don't feel like anybody will want any- nobody is gonna feel happy about doing something that they're pressured into. And also just the conviction with which someone wants to do something, if it's done out of pressure, actually, it's not gonna be that much, and so they're not gonna wanna stick to it anyway. Um, and so yeah, I felt like that was such a beautiful journey that I went through by observing how you were in your, um, day-to-day life, and then how your meditation practice and how your spiritual journey is what took you to become that person. And so for me, that was the greatest motivation for me to continue my journey in it, um, without you saying anything or making me feel a certain way about it. Um, and again, the other thing I think of is how, um, yeah, anything that I've wanted to do or I've said I've wanted to do, you've always given me advice on it and always given me the best advice that I could have asked for, but yeah, you've never forced me to do the things that you've told me that I should be doing. Like, if we've- you've given me advice-

Jay Shetty 30:15 Regimental.

Radhi Shetty 30:15 Yeah, you're not regimental about it. Like, you've given me advice on so many different things, and a lot of the times, I haven't taken the advice, or I've heard it, but I haven't been able to, um, put it into practice. But you just really allow me to find that journey myself, and you're always there to support me, which is what I think a partner should be like in that way. But you don't, yeah, you don't get annoyed if I don't do it, and you don't pressure me into doing it if, if I'm not ready for it. So yes, no, I don't feel pressured by you. Except for when, um, you don't wanna eat sugar and I wanna eat, like, chocolate cake and ice cream, and you're like, "I'm not eating sugar right now." Then I feel sad. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 30:49 [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 30:50 And a little bit of pressure to also have to not have sugar. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 30:53 [laughs] Which started from you.

Radhi Shetty 30:55 I know it started from me, but I like-

Jay Shetty 30:56 So it's your fault

Radhi Shetty 30:56 ... I like having sugar sometimes.

Jay Shetty 30:58 [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 30:58 He's, like, a all or nothing, so that's another thing, like-

Jay Shetty 31:01 Yeah

Radhi Shetty 31:01 ... about our characters which are so different. I can have a small bit of, like, chocolate every day, or, like, a small amount of something every day, and I will be fine. I will never have to finish it. I can just have that small amount and be very happy. He, if we're having sugar, it'll be like we go to the ice cream place, Cocobella Creamery, the best vegan ice cream place ever. So we'll go there- And he'll be like, "Okay, could I please have a s- chocolate fudge ice cream with triple or quadruple chocolate sauce, triple chocolate chips, triple sprinkles-

Jay Shetty 31:31 That's a good sweet tooth

Radhi Shetty 31:31 ... um, a chocolate brownie that's heated up?" And basically he goes, he has the same amount of sugar for, like, a month that he should ha- in, like, one day. Um-

Jay Shetty 31:41 Oh, I remembered of my order

Radhi Shetty 31:43 I know his order.

Jay Shetty 31:43 That is exactly my order

Radhi Shetty 31:44 He's said it too much. We went there the other day, and they were like, "Oh, you've got 600 points"

Jay Shetty 31:47 [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 31:48 Which he got all while I was away. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 31:50 [laughs] I've saved them. I'm saving them.

Radhi Shetty 31:52 Saving them. Um-

Jay Shetty 31:53 One day I wanna walk in there and use all my points-

Radhi Shetty 31:55 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 31:55 ... to, like, feed everyone. [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 31:57 Um, but yeah, no, so he's a all or nothing, whereas I feel like I'm quite, like... I, I, I will have a little-

Jay Shetty 32:02 Yeah

Radhi Shetty 32:02 ... often. Um, but you're really good. Like, when he says no to having something, we will go anywhere and there'll be, like, the most incredible stuff around us to eat, and you'll just be like, "No, I'll have-"

Jay Shetty 32:13 Yeah

Radhi Shetty 32:13 ... "fruit." I'm like, "Oh, fine. Don't share my cake with me." [laughs] Um-

Jay Shetty 32:16 And I think we've also felt it with, like, ambition-

Radhi Shetty 32:19 Yeah

Jay Shetty 32:19 ... in the sense of, like, I feel like I've always been really driven. Like, since, since I remember in my teenage years, I've always been really driven. I've always been really focused and motivated and inspired, and I've always been ambitious and chasing my dreams, whatever they may be. And when we met, I was very clear about that as well-

Radhi Shetty 32:39 Yeah

Jay Shetty 32:39 ... like, that's who I was. But I feel like I've ... I work, I work harder on my purpose now than I ever have.

Radhi Shetty 32:46 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 32:46 So in one sense, I've changed a lot since we met, because when we met, I still wasn't working as hard as I am now on my purpose.

Radhi Shetty 32:53 Mm.

Jay Shetty 32:53 But I've never felt the pressure to slow down from you.

Radhi Shetty 32:57 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 32:57 Or I've never felt the pressure to have to detach from those dreams or disconnect from those dreams, and I think that really helps me, because I'm not worried about feeling like I'm letting her down, because she doesn't let me ... She doesn't make me feel that way because she doesn't feel that way, I feel.

Radhi Shetty 33:13 Mm. I go, I think I've been asked this before, because y- of the speed that you work at and, like, how, uh, focused you are, whether that makes me feel, like, pressured into being that way, and I actually, like, I feel like that we, we, that never really happens. I feel like I watch you do it, and I'm so amazed by it and in awe of it, but, um, [laughs] I feel like I still work at the same speed. I'm just, like, just chilling along, um, doing things at my own pace. But I think that also shows that, like, I never feel you're putting that onto me.

Jay Shetty 33:40 Mm.

Radhi Shetty 33:40 It's always just you doing you, and I get to do me at the same time, but we can just kind of work on parallel. Um-

Jay Shetty 33:46 Yeah

Radhi Shetty 33:46 ... which is quite nice.

Jay Shetty 33:47 Okay.

Radhi Shetty 33:48 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 33:48 Awesome. Let's do the next subject that's over here. The next one is-

Radhi Shetty 33:54 Give us a fun one

Jay Shetty 33:55 ... uh, what can only your partner do that really makes you feel loved and special?

Radhi Shetty 34:00 I mean, that's more you-

Jay Shetty 34:01 [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 34:02 ... rather than fun. Um, what do you do that makes me feel really special?

Jay Shetty 34:07 Yeah, loved and special.

Radhi Shetty 34:09 Loved and special. [laughs] Should I say what you say to me?

Jay Shetty 34:12 [laughs] What? I don't... Oh, yeah. [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 34:15 So basically-

Jay Shetty 34:16 No. [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 34:16 I don't know, I don't know where this came from. I'm gonna share this, because it's really funny. [laughs] I don't know where this came from, but one day he came and he, like, whispered in my ear. Was it, um, while I was sleeping? Which also could've-

Jay Shetty 34:27 I-

Radhi Shetty 34:27 ... been a bit creepy.

Jay Shetty 34:28 [laughs] I-

Radhi Shetty 34:28 But, um, he came whispering to me. He was like, "You are loved. You are cherished. You are s-" no, was it?

Jay Shetty 34:34 You don't remember it.

Radhi Shetty 34:34 You are, no, you are loved, you are cared for, you are cherished like a little cherub. [laughs] Um, so-

Jay Shetty 34:42 I said the joke

Radhi Shetty 34:42 ... and then since then-- I know he says it as a joke, but really he, he feels like... I- it actually makes me feel a bit cute. Like, I like it.

Jay Shetty 34:47 [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 34:48 Um, so since then, every time I feel like I'm getting stressed out or he sees me getting a bit worked up, like if I'm cooking in the kitchen for, like, 50 people, um, he'll come up to me, hug me and say, "You are loved. You are cared for. You are cherished like a little cherub." [laughs] So that makes me feel kinda cared for and loved. Um, and what else do you do that I feel loved and cared for? Just every day, he's just... I, like, I've said this before, but it's just an ongoing thing with him. Like, he's just always very loving and caring on a daily basis that, um, there's never really a need for, like, special gestures or, like, crazy stuff, because I feel like it's just stable and he's just always-- I always feel supported and loved and cared for by him, because that's just how he is.

Jay Shetty 35:28 Yeah. For me it's, we talked about this last year-

Radhi Shetty 35:30 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 35:30 ... where we talked about, like, love languages and things like that. But it's interesting how even the love languages are so much deeper than just the way they're spoken about.

Radhi Shetty 35:40 Mm.

Jay Shetty 35:40 So I was always a gift person growing up, which I spoke about last year. But we both live a life where we both don't live for gifts anymore. Like, if I want something, I buy it for myself, because I need it at that time. If Radhi wants something, she buys it. So we don't give each other gifts at all anymore, as in physical objects-

Radhi Shetty 35:55 No

Jay Shetty 35:55 ... or gifts, because we know that if we want something, we'll get it for ourselves, or we don't really have a need for a lot of stuff. Like, we don't have a lot of things in that way in our life, I feel. But for me, the biggest one has been the way Radhi has understood my love language in the deepest way. So in the last two years, and we spoke about one of them last year-

Radhi Shetty 36:17 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 36:17 But Radhi has thrown me two of the biggest surprise parties.

Radhi Shetty 36:21 I have.

Jay Shetty 36:22 And one was for my birthday, which was when we first moved to LA.

Radhi Shetty 36:25 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 36:25 But last year, it was after my live show.

Radhi Shetty 36:29 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 36:30 And so I, I, I wanna talk about this for a moment, because it was so important. So I did my first ever live show in LA. Nearly 2,000 of you showed up.

Radhi Shetty 36:40 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 36:40 It was packed. It was at the Ace Theater. My team and I had worked for six weeks to prepare this incredible show that we were absolutely so proud of and in love with to put on stage. I'd been practicing with my team for, like, eight hours, nine hours a day for a week beforehand. And then you're on stage, I was on stage for about two and a half hours. We had this incredible show. People traveled from, like, Japan and Australia and London, and from all over the world, and people really had this phenomenal experience. And then you experience something really unique. So just think about that for a moment. You've got ... You've, you've put all this effort into building this thing. You then experience it with thousands of people. And then you're grabbing your bags, you're grabbing your clothes, and you're getting into the back of an Uber on your own.

Radhi Shetty 37:27 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 37:28 It's, it's like the- it's like one of the weirdest experiences ever, where you go from this real high to then almost being in completely the opposite scenario. And on my way home, I was thinking, I was like, "Wow, now I realize so many of the people I coach, so many people I work with, so many people I know who live these much more extreme highs than I do." Like, they have, like, 80,000 people, 100,000 people in, you know, their audiences or whatever, and then all of a sudden they're spending time alone without that buzz and rush. And I was thinking there are so many people that get dissatisfied by not having that all the time, and feel lost and confused. And I was thinking about the most important people in my life, and I was like, well, I'm going back to my wife, who loves me, and, you know, that's such a, such a fulfilling feeling. And I was like, I have friends, but ... Anyway, I'm going home, and when I get home, I walk through the door and there's like, everyone I care about is in that room.

Radhi Shetty 38:22 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 38:23 Literally all my closest friends are at my house. There's this big surprise. Radhi as always has cooked, like, this incredible meal. She's got, like, these amazing balloons that spell out J-S Live. She got this amazing chocolate cake. Uh, and it was just, like, this really fulfilling feeling that I'm so fortunate to have an incredible group of people around me that love me, that really care for me, that are gonna stay at my house till midnight-

Radhi Shetty 38:50 Yeah

Jay Shetty 38:50 ... on a work night to celebrate my day with me, that I've done this event. And Radhi's just figured out a way of giving me the gifts that I can't buy myself, and, and I think that's what a gift really is. Whether it's an object, whether it's a thing, whether it's an experience, a real gift is giving someone something they can't give themselves. And I- you can't organize a surprise party for yourself.

Radhi Shetty 39:19 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 39:20 You can't organize a party for yourself where you tell all your friends to come and surprise you if you know it's happening. [laughs] And she's really figured out the depth of the lung- love language of the definition of gift in my, gift in my opinion.

Radhi Shetty 39:30 Right, but don't be expecting this, like, every year.

Jay Shetty 39:32 I'm expecting it every year now. It's happened the last two years in a row.

Radhi Shetty 39:35 I'm, I'm like done-

Jay Shetty 39:35 It always happens around November.

Radhi Shetty 39:37 Honestly-

Jay Shetty 39:37 You know? There's something about November.

Radhi Shetty 39:38 Honestly, it's like-

Jay Shetty 39:39 Two months after my birthday gives a bit of time to plot.

Radhi Shetty 39:40 I cannot explain how much I dislike organizing surprise birthdays.

Jay Shetty 39:44 But you do them really well. Like, you're really good at it.

Radhi Shetty 39:46 Yeah, 'cause I've done, like, two for you now. I, it ... Look, if you wanna hire me to, um, throw your girlfriend, boyfriend's, or your own surprise party, then I'm available and I have all the contacts, because I've done it twice for him now, and it took all the energy that I could possibly imagine that I had.

Jay Shetty 40:03 They were amazing, though.

Radhi Shetty 40:04 Thank you. But yeah, no, that was also, like, for me, going out of my comfort zone to do something I know that he would've been really happy about, because I'm not an organized person, and I find those things really difficult and stressful. But it was definitely worth it, because you came in and you were actually so surprised. I thought you knew, but all ... I made all of his friends and us, like, all rushed out of the event, like, "Okay, cool. Peace. See you later. I'm a bit tired. I'm gonna go to bed." Um, and then everybody waited here for a real long time-

Jay Shetty 40:31 Yeah. Love it

Radhi Shetty 40:31 ... for you to come back.

Jay Shetty 40:32 And everyone who waited, thank you so much.

Radhi Shetty 40:33 And it was really sweet.

Jay Shetty 40:34 Like, it's really special.

Radhi Shetty 40:35 It was perfect.

Jay Shetty 40:35 Thank you so much. And, and that's one of the things, actually, I wanna talk about that for a moment, is, is that when we first moved to LA from New York, literally everyone who heard that we were moving would say to us, "You know what people are like in LA."

Radhi Shetty 40:49 Yeah. That's so true.

Jay Shetty 40:50 Like, they were like, "You know that everyone in LA is superficial. You know everyone in LA doesn't really care."

Radhi Shetty 40:55 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 40:56 And we heard that so much, and I've always had this rule in life for myself that no matter what I hear from someone about something, someone, or anywhere, I won't trust it or base my opinion on it until I've experienced it myself.

Radhi Shetty 41:13 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 41:14 And I've always had that rule. So if someone tells me, "This is an amazing holiday destination," until I've been to that place-

Radhi Shetty 41:21 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 41:21 ... I will not agree with that.

Radhi Shetty 41:23 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 41:23 If someone tells me this person is not nice or is nice, I will not agree or disagree with that until I've met and experienced that person-

Radhi Shetty 41:30 Yeah

Jay Shetty 41:30 ... and also actually spent time with them, not just spent time with them in an elevator or something like that. Like, actually spent quality time with them. And so for me, I was like, "Well, if you think that about LA, or loads of people think that about LA, I'm not going to let that define LA for me. I'm gonna define LA for myself." And I have to be o- completely honest, like, we have met some of our closest, deepest friends-

Radhi Shetty 41:54 Yeah, 100%

Jay Shetty 41:54 ... and so many of you I know listening and watching right now, some of our deepest and closest friends, we found and made in LA.

Radhi Shetty 42:01 Definitely.

Jay Shetty 42:02 And I know Radhi feels that. That's where she feels at home here. I know I feel that. That's where I feel at home here. You know who you are. And that's such a special thing, that these stereotypes and these broad generalizations we make about people or places are not true. They become what you want them to be.

Radhi Shetty 42:22 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 42:22 And I really feel in our life that LA's been such a beautiful place for both of us-

Radhi Shetty 42:27 Yeah

Jay Shetty 42:27 ... to find our purpose, and create our purpose, and live our purpose.

Radhi Shetty 42:30 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 42:31 And, you know, you can't really define a place just based- you can't just say that a place has a reputation or anything like that, because you, you find the people where they are. So for me, the people I've met here and the friends I've made here have just been absolutely incredible.

Radhi Shetty 42:44 Yeah. Yeah.

Jay Shetty 42:44 And, and for me, what we've really tried to do, and I think this is important too, is we've tried to build the conscious spiritual community that we want. So rather than expecting that what you want should exist anyway, why not create it yourself?

Radhi Shetty 43:01 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 43:01 So we started hosting these events at our home last year. We did two of them. We're doing another one coming up soon.

Radhi Shetty 43:05 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 43:06 We invite our friends to them, and they're spiritual events, community events that we used to have in London, and in New York a little bit, but definitely in London, and we wanted our friends to experience meditation in the way we meditate. We wanted our friends to-

Radhi Shetty 43:18 Yeah

Jay Shetty 43:18 ... experience wisdom from the people that we learn from. And so we started organizing these events. And now they're not parties in the same way. Like, we don't have any alcohol at these events. Like, no one's getting ... You know, it's not l- it's not that kind of an event. It's a, it's an event where people feel that they can connect with themselves, a place where people feel they can connect with their consciousness and have a deeper experience, and that was the experience we wanted to offer our friends.

Radhi Shetty 43:40 Mm.

Jay Shetty 43:40 And thankfully, our friends love that kind of stuff, so it's worked out.

Radhi Shetty 43:42 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 43:42 But I just think it's so important that we don't expect things in a place, but you go and create for yourself.

Radhi Shetty 43:48 Yeah, I love that

Jay Shetty 43:49 Cool. All right.

Radhi Shetty 43:49 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 43:49 Okay, next one that is on the list. What are some telltale signs that your partner is upset?

Radhi Shetty 43:55 Yeah, he's pretty obvious. Um, if he's mad, he'll sound mad.

Jay Shetty 43:59 [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 44:00 If he's sad, he'll sound sad. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 44:03 I'm pretty, I, I'm pretty easy.

Radhi Shetty 44:04 If he needs chocolate, he'll sound like he needs chocolate.

Jay Shetty 44:06 [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 44:07 Um, yeah, I feel like you kind of just... If he's upset, he'll just be like, "Look, w- like, I need to tell you, this has upset me," or... Yeah, you're like that, right?

Jay Shetty 44:17 Mm-hmm.

Radhi Shetty 44:17 Trying to think of the last time you were upset. Oh, yesterday night when he was mad about his charges, I knew he was mad. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 44:22 [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 44:23 I heard it in his voice. [laughs] Um, yeah, I don't think we're very hidden with it. I think I'm probably a little bit more hidden than you are about it.

Jay Shetty 44:30 Yeah, Radhi just goes quiet.

Radhi Shetty 44:31 Yeah, I go quiet.

Jay Shetty 44:32 Or I'll see her on the balcony crying. [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 44:34 Yes.

Jay Shetty 44:34 [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 44:35 Literally, literally that.

Jay Shetty 44:37 Yeah, I just see her outside, like-

Radhi Shetty 44:38 Those are the two options

Jay Shetty 44:38 ... obviously she wakes up earlier than me, so I'll wake up, and she's outside, and I just see [laughs] next to the tears. Yeah.

Radhi Shetty 44:44 I c- I cry sometimes during my meditations-

Jay Shetty 44:46 Yeah

Radhi Shetty 44:46 ... in the morning. It's, like, my time, and then suddenly I'll realize I'm sad about something, and then I'll just start crying.

Jay Shetty 44:51 Yeah.

Radhi Shetty 44:51 And then he catches me at that time.

Jay Shetty 44:53 Yeah.

Radhi Shetty 44:53 Or yeah, my quietness. I need to... I've, we spoke about this last time-

Jay Shetty 44:57 Yeah

Radhi Shetty 44:57 ... but I need time to process, so.

Jay Shetty 44:58 Yeah. But you also tell me when you're sad about something, and you're like-

Radhi Shetty 45:00 Yeah, sometimes be like, "I'm sad. It's not about you."

Jay Shetty 45:02 Yeah. [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 45:02 "But I'm sad."

Jay Shetty 45:03 That, that's also very useful to know.

Radhi Shetty 45:04 This happens a lot.

Jay Shetty 45:05 This is a useful note.

Radhi Shetty 45:06 Yeah. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 45:06 Because I get so... You know, I think we're all, in one sense, we're all so self-centered that we always feel like people are sad-

Radhi Shetty 45:13 Uh-huh

Jay Shetty 45:13 ... because of something we did. Like, it's a self-centered ego trick where, like, if she's sad, it must be something I did, even though I know I didn't do anything wrong. And so then I, but her telling me, "I'm sad, but it's nothing to do with you," it's like phew.

Radhi Shetty 45:25 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 45:25 You know? It's actually a useful technique in relationships.

Radhi Shetty 45:26 Or, "I'm feeling irritated right now, and I don't know why." I've done this a lot. "I feel really irritated. I don't know why, but I just want you to know that I'm feeling that way, so-"

Jay Shetty 45:34 Yeah.

Radhi Shetty 45:34 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 45:34 It's really useful.

Radhi Shetty 45:34 "Stay away." [laughs]

Jay Shetty 45:35 Yeah, it's just really useful to communicate that to your partner rather than expecting them. Like, no one's a mind reader.

Radhi Shetty 45:40 Mm.

Jay Shetty 45:41 Like, no one is a mind reader, and I think one of the biggest challenges in relationships is you just expect the other person to know-

Radhi Shetty 45:46 Know

Jay Shetty 45:46 ... what you're thinking.

Radhi Shetty 45:48 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 45:48 Awesome. Cool. All right, that was a quick one.

Radhi Shetty 45:50 Cool.

Jay Shetty 45:50 Okay, this one is, do you still try to impress each other?

Radhi Shetty 45:56 Yeah, probably. I feel like it's just, like, a subcon- like, a unconscious thing that you do, where it's... Unconscious?

Jay Shetty 46:01 Mm.

Radhi Shetty 46:01 Subconscious? One of the consciousnesses.

Jay Shetty 46:03 [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 46:03 Um, something conscious, um, thing that you do, whether it's, like, whether it's your outfit or whether it's, like, something you've, you've, like, done or made or, like, if I've cooked something. I think there's an, always an element of wanting the other person to approve or to like it.

Jay Shetty 46:19 Yeah.

Radhi Shetty 46:20 Um, I think that's natural. Yeah.

Jay Shetty 46:22 Yeah. I like it too. Yeah, definitely, like, if I'm wearing something or I've achieved something-

Radhi Shetty 46:28 Yeah

Jay Shetty 46:28 ... or whatever it may be. Like, yeah, I, I, I love that, and I think it's an important thing to have. Like, I don't-

Radhi Shetty 46:33 I feel like it should feel like that, right?

Jay Shetty 46:34 Yeah, it's like if you d-

Radhi Shetty 46:35 Yeah

Jay Shetty 46:35 ... if... And, and impress in the sense of it's not about getting the other person's validation.

Radhi Shetty 46:38 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 46:39 You want your partner to, like-

Radhi Shetty 46:40 Be excited

Jay Shetty 46:41 ... acknowledge-

Radhi Shetty 46:42 Yeah

Jay Shetty 46:42 ... be excited for you, recognize you, and I, I l- I love that feeling. Like, I don't... And I think if I didn't feel that way about her, then you're going to find other people to impress.

Radhi Shetty 46:50 Mm.

Jay Shetty 46:51 And you're going to want to impress other people.

Radhi Shetty 46:53 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 46:53 And so I feel as, like, it's an important quality to have, and I feel like you, you lose the energy and the spark if you-

Radhi Shetty 46:59 Part of the excitement

Jay Shetty 46:59 ... stop trying to do that to each other because that's how you were when you first met.

Radhi Shetty 47:03 Mm.

Jay Shetty 47:03 Like, that's what you tried to do when you first met, and if you stop doing that, it's, yeah, it's just... It's not about validation.

Radhi Shetty 47:10 No.

Jay Shetty 47:10 That's from the ego one. It's about knowing that you love someone and always, like, making them-

Radhi Shetty 47:14 And knowing that the other person's excited when you're excited too.

Jay Shetty 47:17 Yeah.

Radhi Shetty 47:17 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 47:18 Yeah.

Radhi Shetty 47:18 Yeah. All right, cool. Next.

Jay Shetty 47:20 You don't want to add anything? Oh.

Radhi Shetty 47:21 No.

Jay Shetty 47:22 Okay.

Radhi Shetty 47:22 Just go.

Jay Shetty 47:22 All right. Okay.

Radhi Shetty 47:23 Power through.

Jay Shetty 47:24 Okay. So what do you like most about your partner's sense of humor?

Radhi Shetty 47:29 Oh my gosh, guys. So I feel like most of you only realized this when he went on stage at the live show, if you were there, but he is actually really... Well, okay, no. He's become really funny. Actually, you were funny-ish before, but, like, he had a lot of dad jokes, but now, oh my gosh, he's taken his humor to another level. I don't know where it's come from.

Jay Shetty 47:49 Me, me.

Radhi Shetty 47:49 Um, but, like, at the live show, you were on fire. I was laughing so hard, and most of the time I'm like, "Hmm, this is funny." Um, but I was actually crying with laughter. Like, you were really good on stage, and I feel like when you're in your element, all, like, different sides of you come out, and you really f- like, you come into who you, like, fully are on stage, and that was really cool for us. See, and I had so many people message me about how funny you were on stage, and that they had no idea that you had humor in you. Um, but that was really cool to see.

Jay Shetty 48:17 Mm.

Radhi Shetty 48:18 And what was the question again?

Jay Shetty 48:18 [laughs] What do you like most about your partner's sense of humor?

Radhi Shetty 48:22 Oh, yeah, now he really knows how to make me laugh. Like, even if it's really silly stuff, I can't even think of it right now, but you definitely know how to make me from my belly laugh, not just a, "Mm-hmm, that was cute. Mm-hmm."

Jay Shetty 48:34 But I still take it too far sometimes.

Radhi Shetty 48:35 Yeah, sometimes it's like-

Jay Shetty 48:36 [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 48:36 ... I'm laughing really hard, and then he keeps going because, like, he thinks it's gonna make me keep laughing, but then he kind of ruins it, but that's also quite funny. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 48:43 I do that a lot.

Radhi Shetty 48:44 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 48:44 I do that a lot, where she's like, "Okay, you went too far."

Radhi Shetty 48:46 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 48:46 [laughs] It's like, I feel like I'm just gonna get one more laugh.

Radhi Shetty 48:49 Yeah. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 48:49 And then I just, like... Yeah.

Radhi Shetty 48:51 Um.

Jay Shetty 48:51 That happens a lot. Yeah, no, my st- on stage is where I feel like I'm at my most myself in terms of what I'm sharing, and I, I feel like, yeah, I feel like I'm at my best on stage. So I, I love being with the audience, and I love the energy that everyone gave me that day as well, and, you know, when, when I'll be touring soon as well, I can't wait to meet so many more of you.

Radhi Shetty 49:11 Mm.

Jay Shetty 49:11 So it'll be fun. But yeah, okay, about you, what's my favorite thing? Radhi is literally exactly who she is on her Instagram.

Radhi Shetty 49:18 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 49:18 Like, I just, whenever anyone tells me, like, "Oh, I love her posts," like, "I love the light she is," like, that is her. Like, that's just her all the time. Like, I wake up, and she'll be doing a dance-

Radhi Shetty 49:27 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 49:27 ... like, when I walk into the living room. Or, or, like, I come home, and she's just, like, smiling and laughing, and she'll make jokes about everything. Like, Radhi doesn't take life seriously, I feel, and that's what I love about you so much. And what I mean by that is she takes her spiritual life seriously, but then she doesn't take her day seriously. Like, she's happy to laugh at herself. She's happy to laugh at what's going on. We can both be like- ... talking about something really serious at one point, then we'll both start laughing because she's able to laugh at it. And, and I just think h- she's always got this childlike energy, and it's not childish because we don't, you know, we don't want people to act childish, but when people are childlike, and Radhi really has that, like she always makes everyone laugh. She's, yeah, she just says funny stuff throughout the day, and her dances are the best and, uh-

Radhi Shetty 50:13 My no-

Jay Shetty 50:13 I love it. I'm so-

Radhi Shetty 50:14 My no rhythm dances

Jay Shetty 50:15 ... and they're the best. I'm just so happy that I get to experience them all the time. Like, I'm really, really happy. Like, you've made, you've brought, you are literally the comedian of our lives. And-

Radhi Shetty 50:26 Yeah, I mean, you're, you're catching up though.

Jay Shetty 50:28 Yeah. [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 50:29 You are catching up with your jokes. I have to, I'll give you that. You're definitely becoming more fu- funnier with age.

Jay Shetty 50:35 I like your sense of humor is playful and not, like, contrived. It's not like she tells knock-knock jokes and stuff like that.

Radhi Shetty 50:41 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 50:41 It's like it's just playful, it's childlike, it's abundant. Like, it's just there. It's who she is. It's, like, it's the best thing about you.

Radhi Shetty 50:48 Oh, thanks.

Jay Shetty 50:49 Yeah. And I love seeing you laugh.

Radhi Shetty 50:51 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 50:51 That's the best thing because she laughs at her own jokes the most.

Radhi Shetty 50:54 Oh, I laugh at my own jokes all the time.

Jay Shetty 50:55 And I love watching her laugh at her own jokes because she just like-

Radhi Shetty 50:57 Because I feel like, look, if there's ever a time when you need to laugh and there's nobody around, you need to be able to be at a point where you can make yourself laugh.

Jay Shetty 51:04 Mm.

Radhi Shetty 51:05 If you're having a bad day, make yourself laugh. Don't leave it on somebody else.

Jay Shetty 51:08 That's good advice.

Radhi Shetty 51:09 Thanks. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 51:10 All right. We've only got a few more left to go.

Radhi Shetty 51:12 Okay, I'm ready.

Jay Shetty 51:14 Okay. Oh, Radhi also does, I, I want to add this.

Radhi Shetty 51:17 What?

Jay Shetty 51:17 Radhi also does, um, funny stuff that makes me laugh a lot. So we went to this Halloween party.

Radhi Shetty 51:26 Oh. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 51:27 And it was a fancy dress party, obviously, as Halloween is. And Radhi came up with this idea about a month before that we should go as a Rajasthani prince and princess-

Radhi Shetty 51:39 Yeah

Jay Shetty 51:39 ... based on this movie called Padmavati, for those of you who watch Bollywood. And so Radhi came up with that idea. I'm, you know, I would've probably gone as Batman or something average. So I was like, "Okay, yeah, that's cool. Like, it's different. Let's do it." You tell the rest of the story.

Radhi Shetty 51:54 So I, I thought of the idea, and then obviously you either have to do it fully or you just end up looking just odd. So I thought, "Okay, let's go the full way." So that meant having pretty much, like, a bridal Indian outfit on. Um, and he was wearing basically a groom's outfit for a wedding. And in theory it looked really cool in my head, which it did, but it was so heavy. [smacks lips] Like, my headpiece, the skirt. I, he had to, one, push me into the car, it was so big.

Jay Shetty 52:28 I had to lift her dress-

Radhi Shetty 52:28 Like, he had to lift my dress into the car

Jay Shetty 52:30 ... into the car.

Radhi Shetty 52:31 Then I lasted about 30 minutes at the event, and I was like, "I have to go home. I literally cannot lift this anymore." My head was hurting. Um, the skirt was too heavy to, like, move about in. So I lasted at that party for 30 minutes, came home, undressed, got into my PJs, and he stayed.

Jay Shetty 52:49 So I walked around the party for the rest of the night as a-

Radhi Shetty 52:52 By himself

Jay Shetty 52:52 ... as a single Indian prince-

Radhi Shetty 52:55 Yeah

Jay Shetty 52:55 ... in this hat with my sword-

Radhi Shetty 52:56 Yes. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 52:56 ... wearing an Indian outfit.

Radhi Shetty 52:57 Yeah, you had a sword. I got, he got a sword. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 52:59 And it's like I only looked good when I was with her. Like, it only looked good-

Radhi Shetty 53:02 Yeah

Jay Shetty 53:02 ... as an ensemble, like together, but me on my own, it was not cool.

Radhi Shetty 53:06 So that was-

Jay Shetty 53:06 Everyone was like, "What are you doing?" [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 53:06 It was horren-

Jay Shetty 53:06 You look like a pirate.

Radhi Shetty 53:07 It was so horrendous.

Jay Shetty 53:09 Like-

Radhi Shetty 53:09 I don't know. I don't know how I didn't think about that part.

Jay Shetty 53:12 Yeah. That, but-

Radhi Shetty 53:13 I got overexcited

Jay Shetty 53:14 ... I find that stuff so funny about you though.

Radhi Shetty 53:15 Yeah, that was, that was not one of my best moments.

Jay Shetty 53:18 [laughs] Uh, okay, so this question is: What are you proudest of your partner from the last 12 months since the fir- since the first podcast?

Radhi Shetty 53:26 Oh, okay. So definitely-

Jay Shetty 53:27 I-

Radhi Shetty 53:27 ... the live event was one of them.

Jay Shetty 53:29 Yeah, yeah.

Radhi Shetty 53:29 Because you also showed people that you made them laugh, so that was cool for me. And then the other thing was obviously your book, 'cause I've been watching him work on this book for, gosh, how long have you been writing it for?

Jay Shetty 53:40 12 months.

Radhi Shetty 53:40 12 months, yeah. He's been writing it for 12 months. And I've only read bits of it, but from what I have seen, it's just been so amazing, one, to see his dedication to the book, how authentic he's trying to make it, and, um, also just how you get to see and hear a different side of him. Like, I feel like this podcast, you, you know, you s- you show yourself in a certain way, and, um, on your videos you have another ti- like, another part of you. And this book, I feel like, is a completely different side of you as well, that people are gonna be able to experience. And just the amount of energy and time and effort you've gone in to really make sure it is, like, the best quality stuff in the book. Um, and the bits that I've read, I just think it's gonna be so... What I love about it is that it's literally made just to really help people, like, find their purpose. And that's the thing about you, like, you, and I know you've said, I think you said this the other day, that, like, your worst fear and, like, your worst nightmare up, is for people not to live their potential, whatever that potential is, big, small, um, whatever it is for them. Like, for them to live their potential, that's your, that's your, like, dream for everybody. And so I really think that this book is, like, almost your first step in, like, serving those people to really help them find their, find their potential, and I think it's just such a beautiful book. And yeah, just seeing you go through that process was really, really interesting, 'cause it's hard work. And, uh-

Jay Shetty 55:05 Yeah

Radhi Shetty 55:05 ... yeah.

Jay Shetty 55:05 The hardest thing I've ever done.

Radhi Shetty 55:05 Excited for it to come out though and, like, see everyone's reaction and-

Jay Shetty 55:09 Yeah

Radhi Shetty 55:09 ... feedback and how it's helped people. So yeah, that's definitely another huge highlight.

Jay Shetty 55:14 Yeah, it was definitely the hardest thing I've ever done.

Radhi Shetty 55:16 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 55:16 So I appreciate that. Thanks. I love you.

Radhi Shetty 55:19 Yeah, that's it.

Jay Shetty 55:19 But, uh-

Radhi Shetty 55:20 From me

Jay Shetty 55:20 ... for Radhi-

Radhi Shetty 55:21 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 55:21 ... she's one exam away from being an Ayurvedic health counselor.

Radhi Shetty 55:25 If I pass, yes.

Jay Shetty 55:26 Which is amazing. She will pass. I know she's been working really, really hard. Like, I see her revising, and I always think, like, I'm so happy I no longer have to revise. Like, work is hard, but revising for exams was so stressful.

Radhi Shetty 55:38 Stressful.

Jay Shetty 55:38 Like-

Radhi Shetty 55:39 So stressful

Jay Shetty 55:39 ... it wasn't a fun feeling. Like, now I'm like, work, my work is, my work life is fun obviously, I love it, but, and it's challenging, but it's not an exam. [laughs] Like, there's something about exams that just ... So Radhi still does exams because she's amazing and wants to learn, and what I love about her desire to learn, it's not just to get a qualification or to get a title, it's like she really has this belief that she wants to know and learn and deeply understand something before she teaches it And I love her integrity for that. I love her authenticity for that. I think it's a beautiful quality that she has that she never wants to mislead anyone. She never wants to give someone a little bit of information. She really wants to feel like she has a full grasp of something before she tells someone else to do it, and I think that that is such a beautiful quality to have, and I really, really respect it. So that's been amazing to watch you do. And watching you create a full menu for a restaurant in London that we both tasted and went to check out together, and the food tasted amazing.

Radhi Shetty 56:36 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 56:37 And Radhi designed the whole menu, and I know she'd been testing recipes. She's been working on this project for, like, three, four years. Forget the last 12 months. Like, she's turned up at food events. She's turned up at food festivals where she's, like, making food for, like, hundreds and thousands of people that are coming to eat. Like, she's done that time and time again to test her recipes. Like, the amount of effort that goes into creating a recipe, like, one recipe, it's like thousands of people have had to eat that before she knows if it's right. It's not just like, "Oh yeah, Jay likes it. It gets on the menu." It's like, she's, you know, cooking for so many people to test it, and to finally have that menu and to taste that with her and just to be so impressed by what she did, it was just amazing. Like, what an amazing achievement.

Radhi Shetty 57:16 Yeah, that was, uh, hard.

Jay Shetty 57:17 And it was so challenging in so many different ways, you know, working across time zones, you know, having to travel back constantly, like, cooking in her parents' home, cooking at events. Like, it's, there's so much to it that I just respect you for just how amazing you are at being dedicated to wanting people to eat healthy, tasty, nutritious food.

Radhi Shetty 57:37 Yeah. That was a fun project.

Jay Shetty 57:38 Yeah, really proud of you for that.

Radhi Shetty 57:39 And so many amazing people involved in it, too.

Jay Shetty 57:42 Yeah.

Radhi Shetty 57:42 So that was fun.

Jay Shetty 57:43 But really proud of you.

Radhi Shetty 57:44 Thanks.

Jay Shetty 57:44 Yeah.

Radhi Shetty 57:45 Yeah, it's, it's fun to see it unravel and actually open.

Jay Shetty 57:48 Yeah. And, uh, okay, so we're now at the final section-

Radhi Shetty 57:54 Okay

Jay Shetty 57:54 ... where my team have asked us to fill in the blanks.

Radhi Shetty 57:58 Fill in the blanks.

Jay Shetty 57:59 Which means I have to say these sentences, which I've never seen before-

Radhi Shetty 58:02 Okay

Jay Shetty 58:02 ... un- apart from when I looked at this just now, and we have to end with the word that we both think. So we'll do one word each at the end.

Radhi Shetty 58:09 Okay.

Jay Shetty 58:09 Does that make sense?

Radhi Shetty 58:10 Yes.

Jay Shetty 58:10 Okay.

Radhi Shetty 58:10 Makes complete sense.

Jay Shetty 58:12 The first one is love is best when?

Radhi Shetty 58:16 Love is best when shared.

Jay Shetty 58:19 I was gonna say the same thing. I was gonna say when it's mutual-

Radhi Shetty 58:22 Jay-

Jay Shetty 58:22 ... or shared.

Radhi Shetty 58:23 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 58:23 I was gonna say shared first, and then when it's mutual. Okay, cool. Love is never?

Radhi Shetty 58:27 Hmm. Ego-filled.

Jay Shetty 58:29 Ooh.

Radhi Shetty 58:30 That's not a word there.

Jay Shetty 58:31 No, but that's good. That's really-

Radhi Shetty 58:33 Egotistical?

Jay Shetty 58:33 Yeah, that's really good.

Radhi Shetty 58:35 Okay.

Jay Shetty 58:35 I was gonna say boring.

Radhi Shetty 58:37 Or boring.

Jay Shetty 58:37 Yeah, love is never boring.

Radhi Shetty 58:39 Both good.

Jay Shetty 58:39 It's always exciting. It's always full of growth. But your answer's better. You win that one. Okay. Uh, commitment means?

Radhi Shetty 58:46 Um, commitment means ... 'Cause commitment means dedication, so commitment can't mean dedication.

Jay Shetty 58:53 Hmm.

Radhi Shetty 58:54 Is it commitment means?

Jay Shetty 58:55 Hmm. I think commitment means-

Radhi Shetty 58:57 Understanding? No. Commitment means-

Jay Shetty 58:59 Yeah, understanding's good. Yeah. As in whatever. There's no right or wrong answer.

Radhi Shetty 59:02 What is that commitment?

Jay Shetty 59:03 I think commitment means every day, anywhere, anytime, right? That's commitment.

Radhi Shetty 59:09 Three words, but fine, we'll give it to you.

Jay Shetty 59:11 Yeah.

Radhi Shetty 59:11 Yeah. [laughs] I like that.

Jay Shetty 59:12 Okay. Uh, I knew I loved you when?

Radhi Shetty 59:16 Like, time? Or, like, when you did this?

Jay Shetty 59:18 No, when you did something.

Radhi Shetty 59:19 Oh.

Jay Shetty 59:19 Yeah. And it can be more than one way.

Radhi Shetty 59:20 Okay. I knew I loved you-

Jay Shetty 59:21 I knew I loved you when you first cooked for me.

Radhi Shetty 59:24 Oh.

Jay Shetty 59:24 And you made this, like ... You made a chocolate croissant for me.

Radhi Shetty 59:29 I didn't make that one.

Jay Shetty 59:30 Oh, you didn't [laughs] .

Radhi Shetty 59:31 Yeah. That wasn't me.

Jay Shetty 59:33 [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 59:35 But the rest was.

Jay Shetty 59:36 As in, no, you made the ... Uh, she made it. It wasn't someone else. It was she had asked-

Radhi Shetty 59:40 I'd asked someone to make it-

Jay Shetty 59:41 Yeah, that specific part, yeah

Radhi Shetty 59:42 ... because I didn't know how to make pastries at the time.

Jay Shetty 59:43 But when you ... Yeah, no, I, that wasn't it. That was a wonderful moment, though, but.

Radhi Shetty 59:46 I loved you when you were my, like, when you ... Well, I, I always, I always loved the teacher side of you. Like, I fe- feel like I, I really, um, appreciated and valued you and loved you when you were my teacher and guide.

Jay Shetty 59:59 A successful marriage means sacrificing?

Radhi Shetty 1:00:04 What? Say that o- sorry, say that one more time.

Jay Shetty 1:00:06 A successful, a successful marriage means-

Radhi Shetty 1:00:07 Marriage means sacrificing

Jay Shetty 1:00:09 ... sacrificing.

Radhi Shetty 1:00:10 We don't like the word sacrifice, do we?

Jay Shetty 1:00:12 No, we don't, so nothing.

Radhi Shetty 1:00:13 We don't.

Jay Shetty 1:00:13 I don't like the word sacrifice. I don't think I've sacrificed anything.

Radhi Shetty 1:00:16 No.

Jay Shetty 1:00:17 Yeah, no, I'm missing out.

Radhi Shetty 1:00:18 Sugar.

Jay Shetty 1:00:18 [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 1:00:20 Go.

Jay Shetty 1:00:20 Okay, fair, all right. Uh, building a family with you makes me?

Radhi Shetty 1:00:24 Like, excited. But I think it's something better than excited.

Jay Shetty 1:00:29 I'd say grateful.

Radhi Shetty 1:00:31 Yes, that's a good one.

Jay Shetty 1:00:32 Yeah, I feel grateful.

Radhi Shetty 1:00:34 I take that.

Jay Shetty 1:00:34 I just, I just know that having a little you in my life with you guiding them will be really wonderful.

Radhi Shetty 1:00:39 Oh, that's gonna be drama. [laughs] Okay, go next.

Jay Shetty 1:00:44 Okay, so this is your final five.

Radhi Shetty 1:00:45 Okay.

Jay Shetty 1:00:46 I'll answer them as well. So who is your favorite family member?

Radhi Shetty 1:00:49 Hmm, my grandma.

Jay Shetty 1:00:51 Okay.

Radhi Shetty 1:00:51 Ba.

Jay Shetty 1:00:52 Yeah. Mine has to-

Radhi Shetty 1:00:53 Everyone loves her.

Jay Shetty 1:00:54 Yeah.

Radhi Shetty 1:00:54 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:00:54 Mine has to be my sister.

Radhi Shetty 1:00:56 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:00:56 Yeah, yeah. All right.

Radhi Shetty 1:00:57 For sure.

Jay Shetty 1:00:58 Okay, top-

Radhi Shetty 1:00:59 We love her

Jay Shetty 1:00:59 ... top two favorite restaurants.

Radhi Shetty 1:01:01 Top two favorite restaurants in the world?

Jay Shetty 1:01:03 Yeah.

Radhi Shetty 1:01:04 My mom's house.

Jay Shetty 1:01:05 [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 1:01:06 Won't give her address. Um, but definitely my mom's house. And the second one, um, m- all of mine are in New York, actually. Divya's Kitchen, ABCV, Hangawi.

Jay Shetty 1:01:17 No, that's it. [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 1:01:18 Okay, fine. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:01:20 I'd say our house-

Radhi Shetty 1:01:21 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:01:22 ... and ABCV.

Radhi Shetty 1:01:23 Okay, yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:01:24 Actually, I've got a few more too, but-

Radhi Shetty 1:01:25 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:01:25 ... yeah. Yeah, that's good. All right. Okay, awesome. Uh, what sung- song does your partner have on repeat?

Radhi Shetty 1:01:33 Right now?

Jay Shetty 1:01:34 I guess so, yeah.

Radhi Shetty 1:01:35 Oh, um-

Jay Shetty 1:01:36 I think Radhi's song on repeat right now is, is probably some, like, soccer song or, like, some sort of, like-

Radhi Shetty 1:01:44 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:01:45 ... some, like, r- reggaeton song or something like-

Radhi Shetty 1:01:48 Yes

Jay Shetty 1:01:48 ... or-

Radhi Shetty 1:01:48 But also Jahnvi.

Jay Shetty 1:01:50 Oh, yeah, okay. [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 1:01:51 Uh, I have-

Jay Shetty 1:01:51 Meditation music

Radhi Shetty 1:01:52 ... as in, yeah, just-

Jay Shetty 1:01:53 Kirtan

Radhi Shetty 1:01:53 ... Jahnvi's voice is amazing. Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:01:54 Radhi's, uh, Radhi's YouTube-

Radhi Shetty 1:01:56 My YouTube is, like, a literal-

Jay Shetty 1:01:57 ... is the best. It w- you know, when it goes, like, recommended for it, it'll be like meditation music, kirtan, songs, and then, like, soccer music [laughs] and, like-

Radhi Shetty 1:02:05 Girl, you're a party animal.

Jay Shetty 1:02:07 Yeah. [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 1:02:08 Like, literally it shows-

Jay Shetty 1:02:09 Yeah

Radhi Shetty 1:02:09 ... where my mind's at most of the time.

Jay Shetty 1:02:10 Yeah.

Radhi Shetty 1:02:10 But Jahnvi Harrison is literally one of my favorite artists. She's ... Uh, actually, people ask me about this a lot. Um- She does the most incredible meditation music, but also just the way that she puts instruments together and everything, like, it's just amazing. So definitely her, SuckerMusic.

Jay Shetty 1:02:26 Mm-hmm.

Radhi Shetty 1:02:26 Um, and actually right now Justin Bieber's new song.

Jay Shetty 1:02:29 Yeah. And what about mine?

Radhi Shetty 1:02:30 Your... Oh, are we answering about each other?

Jay Shetty 1:02:32 No, just, yeah-

Radhi Shetty 1:02:33 Oh

Jay Shetty 1:02:33 ... kind of like.

Radhi Shetty 1:02:33 What song do you have on repeat right now? Have I heard you listening to music lately?

Jay Shetty 1:02:37 So for a while it was that Rhythm of the Night track from the Bad Boys 2 soundtrack.

Radhi Shetty 1:02:42 Oh, yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:02:43 Ritmo I think it's called.

Radhi Shetty 1:02:44 [sings]

Jay Shetty 1:02:44 With J Balvin and, and, uh, Will.i.am. And then there's a lot of Drake. I listen to a ton of Drake.

Radhi Shetty 1:02:51 Yeah, he loves Drake.

Jay Shetty 1:02:52 Yeah.

Radhi Shetty 1:02:52 He loves Drake. God, Drake.

Jay Shetty 1:02:52 Yeah. I can listen to a lot of Drake. Okay.

Radhi Shetty 1:02:55 Cool.

Jay Shetty 1:02:55 What was the last kind thing your partner did for you?

Radhi Shetty 1:02:59 Um, the last kind thing you did for me.

Jay Shetty 1:03:03 You packed my suitcases-

Radhi Shetty 1:03:05 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:03:05 ... on the way there and back when I was rushing and I was busy.

Radhi Shetty 1:03:07 You did.

Jay Shetty 1:03:08 Usually I pack my own suitcases, but you helped me out with that.

Radhi Shetty 1:03:10 Yes, I did.

Jay Shetty 1:03:10 That was big.

Radhi Shetty 1:03:11 What did you do for me lately?

Jay Shetty 1:03:12 [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 1:03:14 Hmm. [laughs] This morn- this morning, oh, you ordered me juice.

Jay Shetty 1:03:21 Rula, thanks for that. [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 1:03:22 Yes, so not you. So, no, not today. Yesterday, what did you do for me that was nice? Oh my God.

Jay Shetty 1:03:31 [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 1:03:32 Joking. Um, you always give my... I get, um, like tension in my head, and so you always give me a really good head massage. I'm not sure you did that yesterday, but most days. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:03:41 I did, while we were watching the movie.

Radhi Shetty 1:03:43 Yes, you did. Yes.

Jay Shetty 1:03:44 Yeah. [laughs] Okay.

Radhi Shetty 1:03:45 Glad that. Next.

Jay Shetty 1:03:46 Okay. And the final question, what is your partner's biggest goal for 2020? So what goal did you-

Radhi Shetty 1:03:51 2020. It feels like it has to be a big year with 2020, doesn't it? Um.

Jay Shetty 1:03:56 What's yours?

Radhi Shetty 1:03:58 What's your biggest goal this year?

Jay Shetty 1:03:59 What's yours?

Radhi Shetty 1:04:00 Oh, are we not answering for each other?

Jay Shetty 1:04:01 You can.

Radhi Shetty 1:04:02 Okay. My biggest goal for 2020 is to figure out exactly what I wanna do.

Jay Shetty 1:04:06 Nice.

Radhi Shetty 1:04:07 Because I don't know yet. [laughs] Um-

Jay Shetty 1:04:09 [laughs] I love it when-

Radhi Shetty 1:04:10 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:04:11 [laughs] It's so cute.

Radhi Shetty 1:04:12 This has been my goal every year. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:04:14 [laughs]

Radhi Shetty 1:04:15 But this year, 2020 feels like it's gonna be really special. And so this is the year I'm gonna launch my blog, that's for sure, soon. [laughs] I'm going to figure out exactly what I wanna do, and I'm gonna be really productive. [laughs] And your goal for 2020 is?

Jay Shetty 1:04:33 My goal is the year of the book.

Radhi Shetty 1:04:35 Yeah, the year of the book.

Jay Shetty 1:04:36 So for me, I've spent so much time writing this book that I just want as many people as possible to read this book because, yeah, I've just put everything into it. So-

Radhi Shetty 1:04:46 So cool that you have, like, everything down of like what your focus is, and I'm like, "Hmm. [laughs] We'll see." [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:04:52 [laughs] I love you for it.

Radhi Shetty 1:04:53 No, I know. I'm just saying it's like-

Jay Shetty 1:04:54 Yeah

Radhi Shetty 1:04:54 ... it's just really different. Um, okay, cool. That felt great.

Jay Shetty 1:04:57 Amazing. That's it.

Radhi Shetty 1:04:57 Is that it?

Jay Shetty 1:04:58 Yeah, that's it. We did it.

Radhi Shetty 1:04:59 Made it through number two.

Jay Shetty 1:05:00 We did it.

Radhi Shetty 1:05:00 High five.

Jay Shetty 1:05:01 [laughs] Thank you so much for watching that video. If you enjoyed it, here's another one I think you'll love. One of the things that can help is to say this demon would come out with another person too