LILI REINHART ON: YOU ARE STRONG - Anyone Who Feels Stressed & Anxious, WATCH THIS! | Jay Shetty

Lili Reinhart 0:00 I have been in fight or flight mode for most of my life. What that has done to my [laughs] brain and my body, my mental wellbeing, is, if I continue at this rate, catastrophic. [upbeat music]

Jay Shetty 0:20 Hey, everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world, thanks to each and every single one of you that come back every week to listen, learn, and grow. Now, I find it really an amazing fortune that I get to sit down with incredible people who are so open, vulnerable, let us into details about their lives so that we can feel a sense of connection to them, but also understand that we're not alone in some of the pains that we go through, some of the challenges that we have, and also that we can learn from some of the changes they've made, from some of the transitions and transformations they've been through as well. And today's guest has a truly inspiring story that I cannot wait to share with you. I'm talking to none other than Lili Reinhart. Lili has quickly amassed an impressive resume as one of Hollywood's most exciting young actors on screen, and is quickly becoming a multifaceted talent with projects as an executive producer and author.

Jay Shetty 1:17 Lili will next be seen starring in the incredible next Netflix film, which I want you to go and check out, Look Both Ways, which she's also an executive producer of. Lili will star as Natalie, whose life on the eve of her college graduation diverges into two parallel realities. I find that fascinating. Can't wait. Uh, one in which she becomes pregnant and must navigate motherhood as a young adult in her Texas hometown, the other in which she moves to LA to pursue her career. I can relate to the latter. Uh, Lili recently starred and executive produced the coming-of-age drama Chemical Hearts based on the best-selling novel Our Chemical Hearts, and Lili starred opposite our dear friend Jennifer Lopez in the film Hustlers, which went on to make over 150 million at the box office. And of course, Lili plays our favorite Betty Cooper in the TV series Riverdale, and for her performance, Lili won seven Teen Choice Awards and has been nominated for three People's Choice Awards. On top of all of this, I don't know how she has the time, and we will ask her that, as an author, Lili wrote Swimming Lessons, which is a collection of poems. I'm a huge fan of poetry, so can't wait to dive into that. Beyond all of this, the part that I'm really excited about is Lili is an activist for mental health and body image, and uses her platform to raise awareness to these deeply important issues. Please welcome to the show Lili.

Lili Reinhart 2:37 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 2:37 Thank you for doing this.

Lili Reinhart 2:37 What an intro. Thank you.

Jay Shetty 2:38 But it's true.

Lili Reinhart 2:39 I'm very-

Jay Shetty 2:39 You have to live it. [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 2:40 Well, hearing it all in front of you is, is a little bit like, "Oh, right, I forgot about those things."

Jay Shetty 2:46 Aw.

Lili Reinhart 2:46 Um, but thank you so much for having me. It's truly such an honor. I've... I'm a fan. My friends are fans. They're stoked for me to be here, so.

Jay Shetty 2:53 Oh, I love hearing that.

Lili Reinhart 2:54 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 2:54 That means the world.

Lili Reinhart 2:55 Of course.

Jay Shetty 2:55 Thank you for sharing that.

Lili Reinhart 2:56 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 2:57 I'm deeply looking forward to this conversation.

Lili Reinhart 2:59 Me too.

Jay Shetty 2:59 I do like to remind people of the incredible awards and accolades and the incredible success that you've achieved, because you've been on your own path to get there. It hasn't come to you. You've made changes, shifts, transitions, as I said. But I wanted to start off kind of how we did when you first came in, because I love that we discovered that you're addicted to junk food and sweets, and-

Lili Reinhart 3:23 Yeah

Jay Shetty 3:23 ... I can relate.

Lili Reinhart 3:24 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 3:25 And so I had to ask you, what is your favorite junk food, to start off with?

Lili Reinhart 3:29 I mean, I'm a, like a, I love Taco Bell.

Jay Shetty 3:31 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 3:32 I am a fast food... I grew up having fast food. I'm a fast food... And of course, it's the most addicting thing in the world. So very addicted to fast food.

Jay Shetty 3:41 Well, you said to me you had something on the way in.

Lili Reinhart 3:43 I had McDonald's.

Jay Shetty 3:44 Okay. [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 3:45 Uh, regrettably, and I, and I said as I was pulling into the drive-through that I'm actively hurting my body-

Jay Shetty 3:51 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 3:51 ... and my brain as I'm participating in this. But sometimes you need fast food.

Jay Shetty 3:58 Right.

Lili Reinhart 3:58 I was like, "I need to... I'm, I have my podcast. I need to be..." I'm sure it'll actually be slowing down my brain, but-

Jay Shetty 4:04 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 4:05 [laughs] But I needed to, I needed to eat something. It was there. I could have stopped into Erewhon and gotten something, but I've actually never been inside an Erewhon in my life.

Jay Shetty 4:13 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 4:14 So, you know, we, we had to keep it real today.

Jay Shetty 4:16 I get it. I got off a flight the other day, and I was exhausted, and I had to drive home from the airport.

Lili Reinhart 4:21 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 4:21 And I got myself a Sprite, and I got myself a burger and fries [laughs] on the way home-

Lili Reinhart 4:25 That's what you-

Jay Shetty 4:25 ... at 10:00 PM

Lili Reinhart 4:26 ... somet- That's always, you know, even when you're trying to make the healthiest decisions in the world, it's just convenient.

Jay Shetty 4:32 Yeah.

Lili Reinhart 4:32 That's the hardest thing. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 4:34 [laughs] And wait, you love sweets too, and I was, I wanted to find out, does that mean, like, sour candy? Does that mean sweet tooth? Like, what-

Lili Reinhart 4:42 Mm

Jay Shetty 4:42 ... what is sweets? Is that chocolate?

Lili Reinhart 4:43 Sweet-

Jay Shetty 4:44 Is it-

Lili Reinhart 4:44 I'm not... I mean, I love ice cream.

Jay Shetty 4:46 Okay.

Lili Reinhart 4:47 I love everything.

Jay Shetty 4:48 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 4:49 [laughs] I love, I love candy. I'm, I, I love, like, Milk Duds are my candy of choice, but I love Sour Patch Kids.

Jay Shetty 4:56 Yeah, I love Sour Patch Kids.

Lili Reinhart 4:57 But I love savory ice cream. Like-

Jay Shetty 5:00 Savory ice cream?

Lili Reinhart 5:01 Well, I don't know. I don't know if that's the right word, actually.

Jay Shetty 5:03 That, yeah.

Lili Reinhart 5:03 Probably not the right word.

Jay Shetty 5:04 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 5:04 I just love ice cream in general.

Jay Shetty 5:06 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Lili Reinhart 5:06 Yeah, yeah.

Jay Shetty 5:07 I'm always happy to connect on this, these truths-

Lili Reinhart 5:09 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 5:09 ... because I think as soon as we start talking about health and wellness-

Lili Reinhart 5:11 Yeah

Jay Shetty 5:11 ... everyone, everyone thinks that you live this perfect life.

Lili Reinhart 5:14 No.

Jay Shetty 5:14 And I know I don't too. I, I'm, like I said, I'm looking forward to Sunday-

Lili Reinhart 5:17 Oh, right

Jay Shetty 5:17 ... to kind of ordering my burger and fries. But-

Lili Reinhart 5:19 Right

Jay Shetty 5:19 ... one of the things that I find fascinating about you when, when we were doing our research is that you started out, and you've had multiple jobs before this.

Lili Reinhart 5:29 Mm. Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 5:29 Right? You've had multiple different careers. Uh, and things I looked at was, like, you were a hostess at a restaurant, you worked at a bakery, you were a sales associate, a role at Pier 1 Imports.

Lili Reinhart 5:41 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 5:41 And when I saw that list, I was like, "This is incredible."

Jay Shetty 5:44 Talk to me about what you learned from each of those roles-

Lili Reinhart 5:47 Well-

Jay Shetty 5:47 ... and each of those jobs

Lili Reinhart 5:48 ... it's funny, because I was literally a hostess at a restaurant for three hours, and then I quit, 'cause I had a panic attack in the bathroom. I worked at a bakery for one shift, five hours, had a panic attack, quit. For some reason, Pier 1 Imports is the only [laughs] it's, like, the only job that I was able to have outside of acting where I didn't have a panic attack, although I'm pretty sure I did have a panic attack. But I didn't quit that one. But yeah, I mean, I had to make money. I, I, I wanted to pursue my career in LA, and you obviously need ... funds to move across the country and do so and support myself, so I, I struggled through a job there. It wasn't that, it wasn't that bad. It was mostly, I, I know how to break down boxes really well. I, I worked in the stockroom breaking down boxes. It was fun during Christmastime opening all... I was like, "It's Christmas-

Jay Shetty 6:42 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 6:43 ... I'm opening all the Christmas stuff."

Jay Shetty 6:44 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 6:45 But I also, uh, did the, I was like, enjoyed the cash register. I remember it was so weird. I, I was so used to saying my full name for self-tapes. Like, "Hi, I'm Lili Reinhart, I'm however old, and I'm auditioning for..." So the phone rang at Pier 1 once, and I was like, "This is Lili Reinhart." And I just thought that was the we-

Jay Shetty 7:04 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 7:05 Like, the worst.

Jay Shetty 7:06 I love that.

Lili Reinhart 7:06 I was like, "This person's probably like, 'Wh- who?'" [laughs]

Jay Shetty 7:09 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 7:10 Like, that was such a weird-

Jay Shetty 7:12 That's brilliant

Lili Reinhart 7:12 ... thing.

Jay Shetty 7:13 I would think you were really professional, and I was like, "Wow, this is, this is im-

Lili Reinhart 7:16 It's like, "Let me, this is my full name"

Jay Shetty 7:17 ... this is impressive, yeah.

Lili Reinhart 7:18 "How can I help you?"

Jay Shetty 7:18 I wanna know who Lili Reinhart is, yeah.

Lili Reinhart 7:20 Yeah, very, yeah.

Jay Shetty 7:21 Very memorable.

Lili Reinhart 7:23 I'm, I'm sure that person remembers it [laughs]

Jay Shetty 7:25 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 7:25 ... quite well, yeah.

Jay Shetty 7:27 That would be amazing. If that person is watching this or finds this somehow-

Lili Reinhart 7:30 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 7:30 ... please let us know, because we would love to-

Lili Reinhart 7:32 Yeah, I would love to know

Jay Shetty 7:33 ... love to dis- love to discover you.

Lili Reinhart 7:35 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 7:35 Talk to me about those episodes. I mean, to start a job, and in three hours to have a panic attack, to have five hours and have a panic attack-

Lili Reinhart 7:42 Yeah

Jay Shetty 7:42 ... I mean, that's, you know, let me know how old you were in both of those jobs, but, like, what was the cause of that? Where was that coming from?

Lili Reinhart 7:50 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 7:50 Uh, how, how did that happen?

Lili Reinhart 7:51 I was 18, so I was living in North Carolina at the time. We had moved from Ohio to North Carolina for my dad's job when I was 16. So I was prepping to move to LA, and obviously needed to have money to do so, so was trying to find a job. My anxiety at that point really stemmed from, "Oh my God, this is so not what I want to be doing, but it's the means to make it happen."

Jay Shetty 8:23 Mm.

Lili Reinhart 8:24 So the anxiety came from, "This is absolutely not where I want to be, but I know I have to be here 'cause I need money."

Jay Shetty 8:32 Mm-hmm.

Lili Reinhart 8:32 "I have to make money." So the anxiety was like, "Don't have money, need it, have crippling anxiety and can't hold a job, but I need a job." So it was very, very isolating, and I, I've, you know, I have, I've been fortunate enough, I have really terrible anxiety, but I don't suffer from too many panic attacks, but I obviously have had them. I know how they feel. It's the worst thing in the world, and having those in those environments was so awful. And, and I always immediately text my mom. I don't know how she does it. She, she has been very much the person that I turn to during these moments in my life of, of panic and anxiety. She's always at the other end of the phone or the other end of the Skype or the FaceTime or whatever I need her in, she's there. So I feel very lucky to have such a grounded... I'm like, "If I'm having a panic attack, you know Amy is gonna know about it."

Jay Shetty 9:31 [laughs] I, I really appreciate you sharing this, because I think so many people can relate to that anxiety. I, I remember when I came out of the monastery, left India, moved back to London, took me about 10 months to get my first job.

Lili Reinhart 9:45 Mm.

Jay Shetty 9:46 Finally got a job. I was working at this, you know, big consulting firm. I was back in the professional corporate world-

Lili Reinhart 9:52 Mm

Jay Shetty 9:52 ... which is what I would have done if I hadn't become a monk. And I was working at a client where I didn't really understand what we were doing.

Lili Reinhart 10:00 Mm.

Jay Shetty 10:00 I'd been out of the working world for, like, four, five years at that point, so kind of lost a lot of my training in that world.

Lili Reinhart 10:07 Right.

Jay Shetty 10:08 I struggled with small talk.

Lili Reinhart 10:09 Mm.

Jay Shetty 10:09 I'd, I'd come back from this, and I remember feeling so anxious-

Lili Reinhart 10:14 Yeah

Jay Shetty 10:14 ... that I would take the longest lunch breaks. Like, I would disappear from work for, like, two, three hours-

Lili Reinhart 10:18 Yeah

Jay Shetty 10:19 ... because I just couldn't have those conversations. I didn't know what to do. I wasn't very good at my job. And I remember going up to our senior manager at the time and saying to him that, "I know there's a space for me in this company, but I don't think this is the right role or this is the right client, because the work we're doing here, I feel really a deep lack of confidence-

Lili Reinhart 10:41 Yeah

Jay Shetty 10:41 ... and I'm really just feeling anxious."

Lili Reinhart 10:43 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 10:44 And the way he responded increased my anxiety.

Lili Reinhart 10:47 I was gonna say-

Jay Shetty 10:48 And-

Lili Reinhart 10:48 ... was he comforting?

Jay Shetty 10:49 No, and so I did this, you, you would do three to five hours and you knew yourself. I lasted two weeks, and so this is-

Lili Reinhart 10:54 Yeah

Jay Shetty 10:54 ... after two weeks.

Lili Reinhart 10:55 Mm.

Jay Shetty 10:55 He said, "Jay, you realize people work really hard to get this job, and then they do as they're told, and they don't decide to shift after two weeks."

Lili Reinhart 11:04 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 11:04 And he said, "If you shift after two weeks, you'll pretty much be ending your career with us. Like, that's what it's gonna be like." And I just still knew that this was just not where I needed to be.

Lili Reinhart 11:15 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 11:15 And so what ended up happening was they told the client that we were servicing, so my company gave services to a client, they told the client that I wasn't performing well, and so that they were gonna let go of me, and they literally walked me out of the office as if I'd just been fired.

Lili Reinhart 11:32 Wow.

Jay Shetty 11:32 And I wasn't fired.

Lili Reinhart 11:33 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 11:33 I was just let go of that client.

Lili Reinhart 11:34 Right, right.

Jay Shetty 11:35 But they made me feel like I was fired, so I had to pack my box up.

Lili Reinhart 11:37 How shame, like, just-

Jay Shetty 11:38 It was so painful.

Lili Reinhart 11:39 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 11:40 How did you communicate? You obviously texted your mom,

Jay Shetty 11:43 but how did you communicate, how were you received by your, the people you worked with, the person who was the boss or the owner? Like, how did, how did they respond to this?

Lili Reinhart 11:50 I mean, they didn't know me.

Jay Shetty 11:51 Right.

Lili Reinhart 11:52 And I didn't know them.

Jay Shetty 11:53 Yeah.

Lili Reinhart 11:53 It wasn't even, like, a two-week thing.

Jay Shetty 11:55 Yeah, yeah.

Lili Reinhart 11:55 It was genuinely, "Nice to meet you, here's this shift. Oh, now she's quitting."

Jay Shetty 11:59 Right.

Lili Reinhart 12:00 So I genuinely don't even know what their impression was. I remember the bakery I worked at, the man, the boss was just very concerned with getting the apron back. Uh, it was, like, a very, like, "Okay, well, make sure you return the apron."

Jay Shetty 12:14 Wow.

Lili Reinhart 12:14 And I was like, "Okay, I will make sure the apron gets back to you." [laughs]

Jay Shetty 12:18 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 12:18 Um, so that was strange. And-

Jay Shetty 12:19 Did you, did you give the apron back?

Lili Reinhart 12:21 I actually don't know if I ever did.

Jay Shetty 12:24 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 12:24 Um, sorry, but I think I felt more shameful about it Towards, like, my parents and, and my sister, my older sister, 'cause my, my little sister was young and didn't have a job. But I think I just felt like, "Oh, look how pathetic I am. I can't even... Like, my anxiety's really that bad. I can't even hold down a job," when I know my sister at the time was, like, a hardworking waitress at, at a restaurant, and had been for multiple years. So I just felt pretty pathetic at the time, which is obviously a very shameful feeling.

Jay Shetty 12:58 I mean, that's so tough, and especially for it to happen twice. And when you start judging yourself and you start causing pain towards yourself verbally or-

Lili Reinhart 13:07 Yeah, yeah

Jay Shetty 13:07 ... you become internally abusive towards yourself and-

Lili Reinhart 13:09 Yeah

Jay Shetty 13:09 ... as you said, you start comparing yourself to, to siblings and, and partners or whoever else, family that's in your life.

Lili Reinhart 13:16 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 13:17 How did you get the courage to try again when, when you've got into such a dark space of... And you, and not, it's not just a dark space. It's like you're actually experiencing physical panic attacks.

Lili Reinhart 13:28 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 13:29 So it's not just mental. It's physical and mental. It's emotional.

Lili Reinhart 13:32 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 13:32 How are you still getting the courage to go, "Okay, I'm gonna go Pier 1 Imports," or, "I'm going to go even into acting," of course?

Lili Reinhart 13:38 It was my drive f- to be an actress. It's, it's something that has truly lived so deep inside me. It's the core of wh- who I am, um, which w- we'll come back to that.

Jay Shetty 13:49 Yeah.

Lili Reinhart 13:49 'Cause, [laughs] but, uh, but it was truly my undying ambition and drive to be an actress, where I knew I needed money. I needed money to make this happen, and the anxiety was just gonna have to, I was gonna have to find something-

Jay Shetty 14:05 Mm

Lili Reinhart 14:05 ... that I could handle. Tolerate, I think was the right, the right word. You know, I obviously couldn't be going to work and having panic attacks every day, so I just needed to find something that I could tolerate, and Pier 1 ended up being a situation where I was working around mostly older women, which I think also says something about who I am. I didn't, I wasn't comfortable working around these young people who I felt, 'cause I have social anxiety, and at the time it was pretty bad. I was living a very isolated life. So being around these young girls who were also there made me feel even more out of place, and so I found myself more comfortable in a job where I was around middle-aged women [laughs] who, like, weren't judging me, weren't necessarily interested in talking to me about my personal life. I just really wanted my job to be my job. I didn't wanna make friends. I didn't wanna create relationships. I just was there to make money and then bounce, basically.

Jay Shetty 15:03 That's a great lesson for all of us, because I think we often feel that you can get into such a dark place that nothing can get you out. But what you're saying is actually your drive to where you wanted to be and who you wanted to be was able to pull you out of that space to try again.

Lili Reinhart 15:19 It was.

Jay Shetty 15:20 Yeah.

Lili Reinhart 15:20 And I'm very thankful, very thankful for that. It, I never really gave myself a plan B. I didn't have a backup option. I knew I was gonna be an actress. I didn't know what my career would, would look like at all, and I still don't know what it's gonna look like, but it's, 'cause it's still, you know, a hustle and you're still always-

Jay Shetty 15:41 Always

Lili Reinhart 15:41 ... working, working.

Jay Shetty 15:42 Always.

Lili Reinhart 15:42 But, uh, but I really knew this is my dream.

Jay Shetty 15:47 Mm.

Lili Reinhart 15:47 I have to do what I have to do to make this work. And, um, I had moved to LA when I was 18, had had such bad anxiety while I was here, tried to hold down a job in LA. [laughs] Was hired, didn't even work a shift, had a panic attack-

Jay Shetty 16:03 Wow

Lili Reinhart 16:03 ... and quit. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 16:05 Wow.

Lili Reinhart 16:05 Um, and that was the moment I deci- I, I Skyped my mom literally hyperventilating in a paper bag and said, "I need to come home. I'm not okay." 'Cause I had been there for five months at the, at, I'd been here for five months at the time and w- uh, wasn't making any money, and I clearly could not handle the stress and anxiety of holding down a job here. So moved back home for six months, went back to Pier 1, [laughs] worked as many shifts. I think I, I was working two to three shifts a week because my anxiety could not handle more. Saved up very little money. We're talking, like, $1,700 in the span of six months because I just could not work that much.

Jay Shetty 16:47 Mm.

Lili Reinhart 16:47 But I moved back to LA because there was no other option.

Jay Shetty 16:51 That's incredible. Thank you so much for going into detail with me. I know we, like, really unpacked every job and every role, but it's-

Lili Reinhart 16:57 No, yeah

Jay Shetty 16:57 ... but I feel like it's so needed for all of us to hear that-

Lili Reinhart 17:00 Mm

Jay Shetty 17:00 ... because obviously when people see you doing your thing and, you know, right now you're, like, executive producing and you're an author and, you know, your acting career is booming, it's like it's easy to believe that you're just confident and you just, you know-

Lili Reinhart 17:12 Yeah

Jay Shetty 17:12 ... it's easy and it's effortless and-

Lili Reinhart 17:14 Mm. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 17:14 ... and, and even today I've met you. You're, you're, you're wonderful. Like, you have great presence, you have great energy, and it's like it's been so easy to connect with you. But to hear that that's the journey that it took to get slightly more comfortable with these things-

Lili Reinhart 17:28 Yeah

Jay Shetty 17:29 ... uh, is, is really useful to everyone who's listening, and of course hard when you're living it. But

Jay Shetty 17:34 tell me about the role you played in your home. You have two sisters.

Lili Reinhart 17:37 I do.

Jay Shetty 17:38 And you spoke to a bit about your mother, who I want, I wanna focus on in a second. But what was the role you played in your family, like, or, or what is the role you play-

Lili Reinhart 17:45 Yeah

Jay Shetty 17:45 ... in your family? Has it changed?

Lili Reinhart 17:46 Uh, middle child, two sisters. My parents are happily married after 30-plus years, so very happy to have them as beautiful, loving role models in my life. I was the kid who was very stereotypical performer kid. Did the theater, did dancing classes, loved recitals, loved perfor- I performed in front of my f- when we went on big family vacations, I would make my cousins sing with me in front of the family. I was that kid.

Jay Shetty 18:16 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 18:16 And, uh, like, I was terrible at sports. That kind of-

Jay Shetty 18:20 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 18:20 Like, this kid is meant to be an artist, for sure.

Jay Shetty 18:22 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 18:23 And I began struggling with anxiety at a young age. When I was, like, 11, uh, is when it got really bad, which sounds so young thinking back on it. Like, I really was feeling such complex anxiety, and my parents had no idea where it was coming from. My older sister was- bullied very badly, and she struggled with her own issues. And so it was sort of, like, very hard for my parents to understand why I was struggling so badly because there were no real external factors that made sense. Nothing was really adding up. Like, "Oh, you have, you have friends, you have extracurriculars, you don't have any of these, any blaring issues. It's just, why are you so anxious? [laughs] Why do you hate school so much? Why, why are you feeling this way?" And so I felt a lot of isolation at that age from the kids around me to my own family. It just felt very misunderstood, and that's really when I started going to therapy-

Jay Shetty 19:35 Mm

Lili Reinhart 19:35 ... for the first time. And I really don't remember a lot of the journey because I think w- you're just so young. You only remember so many things. But also I was in such a, a weird tunnel vision stage of your life where you just are in fight or flight mode, and you're not really taking in your surroundings or really living. You're just surviving. And so it's, it's interesting to think back on those times because I barely remember. All I remember is crying before school every morning, begging my mom to let me be homeschooled because I couldn't stomach the idea of walking through the doors and sitting through an eight-hour day with the people, the kids around me. Everything was a countdown, constantly counting down how many hours left, how many hours until this class is over, when can I go to the bathroom so I can have five minutes to be alone, when can this happen, when can I do this, blah, blah, blah, always counting down to something. So very much not living my life. It was always rushing through it.

Jay Shetty 20:40 One of the hardest things about mental health, I feel, is that it's invisible.

Lili Reinhart 20:44 Mm.

Jay Shetty 20:44 Like, no one can see it.

Lili Reinhart 20:46 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 20:46 No one understands it.

Lili Reinhart 20:47 Mm.

Jay Shetty 20:48 And often people feel, "Well, you have this, so why would you be anxious?"

Lili Reinhart 20:53 Yeah, it doesn't add up.

Jay Shetty 20:54 Or, "You have this, so then why would you experience depression?" And it's hard when it's your own family. And, you know, when you're talking about being that young, it's probably when the mental health conversation wasn't as open as it is now-

Lili Reinhart 21:06 Yeah, not at all

Jay Shetty 21:06 ... where I'm hoping today that at least parents are hearing about it, are more open to the fact that they could be providing a beautiful, loving atmosphere at home, and a child could still be struggling with something. And I think that's one of the hardest things for parents is that it's almost like they see it as a reflection of them.

Lili Reinhart 21:23 Mm.

Jay Shetty 21:23 It's like, "What am I doing wrong?"

Lili Reinhart 21:24 Yeah, "What's wrong with my kid? What did I do?"

Jay Shetty 21:26 "What did I do?" Exactly. And, and that idea of what did I do stops us from thinking about the other and thinking about that person, when that's really the moment where a child is saying, "I'm struggling with something." And the, and the ego inside all of us, not just parents, the ego in all of us goes, "But no, no, no, but that's not my fault." Like I d- or I, I don't want, I don't know what I-

Lili Reinhart 21:43 This can't be right.

Jay Shetty 21:44 This can't be right because I didn't do anything for that. And it sounds like your parents are wonderful, right, like, from what I'm hearing.

Lili Reinhart 21:49 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 21:49 And so obviously for them, I can imagine it's hard.

Jay Shetty 21:52 When you start going to therapy at that young age, when you start getting exposed to this, when do you start to feel like you're gaining tools, clarity, insight that you're like, "Oh, I can cope with this"? Because it sounds like, from what we were talking about, it's not something that ever goes away. It's not something that ever just disappears, but you start coping better. You start managing it better. Is that accurate or?

Lili Reinhart 22:15 Yeah, no, for, for sure. I think the therapy was a really beautiful... For one hour a week, I was talking to someone who just got it. She was an older woman. I instantly really loved her and connected with her. I still felt like it wasn't okay for me to be feeling what I was feeling, like it wasn't justified, and maybe I would be looked at as crazy. So I remember even in my therapy sessions would be like, "Oh, God, my allergies are so bad," as I had tears streaming down my face. I'm like, "Girl, you're in a therapy office."

Jay Shetty 22:47 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 22:47 "You're allowed to cry." And it's interesting, like the messaging from when I was a kid to, to what it is now is so radically different compared to even, you know, 20 years ago, how insane. But even just from when I was a kid, being... I feel like you heard the thing, you heard the term, "Don't cry. You don't need to cry." Crying is the most beautiful thing you can do. I encourage people to cry. I cry all the time, and I think it's the most healthy expression of how you're feeling. And I, I sometimes wish I just could have been told, "You can cry. There's no shame in that. There's no shame in how you're feeling." And also, you don't need to always be justifying it because I think I was constantly trying to come up with reasons why rather than just being accepted for what it was. I have anxiety. I have depression. Okay, but why? Well, sometimes there isn't. [laughs] Uh, a- and, and, and navigating that space when I was so young and trying to defend myself, having my first panic attacks and not knowing what this feeling was, how I could escape it, what resources I had. I, you know, I was k- too young to really be going on the internet looking for help elsewhere. I just really had, like, my parents and I guess the kids around me at school who had no idea [laughs] what to tell me or how to help. You know, my friends at the time, it's not like they got it. They just didn't. So I f- was so isolated. And I'm, I'm happy that now this is a space we're moving into where we are saying, "Feel your feelings," and that they're, they're justified. You don't need to defend yourself. I'm like, damn, that's the kind of environment I wanna raise my future kids in, to where it's, it is a beautiful thing to cry and you're allowed to ... feel. You're just allowed to feel

Jay Shetty 24:53 If everyone would just listen to that over and over and over and over and over again every day, like our lives would be so much better. Because telling someone not to cry is like telling someone not to laugh-

Lili Reinhart 25:05 The worst advice

Jay Shetty 25:06 ... right? Like-

Lili Reinhart 25:07 It's the worst advice

Jay Shetty 25:08 ... it's, it's such bad advice. And because, yeah, like t- telling someone not to cry is like telling someone not to laugh.

Lili Reinhart 25:13 Not to feel

Jay Shetty 25:14 It's like there's a natural expression that needs to be released-

Lili Reinhart 25:17 Yep

Jay Shetty 25:18 ... in order to feel an emotion.

Lili Reinhart 25:20 Yep

Jay Shetty 25:20 And you're being told to block it and not feel it. You would never do that with any other emotion. But when it comes to crying, and especially as a man too, you know-

Lili Reinhart 25:30 Yeah

Jay Shetty 25:30 ... that's a big part of how boys are raised.

Lili Reinhart 25:32 Boys don't cry.

Jay Shetty 25:33 Boys don't cry.

Lili Reinhart 25:34 Right

Jay Shetty 25:34 And boys never cry, and, you know, "You'll be fine. You're okay. There's nothing wrong." And so it's like, oh, if I cry that means there's something wrong, and that association of crying is bad is actually the biggest issue because-

Lili Reinhart 25:49 So toxic

Jay Shetty 25:49 ... yeah, it's so toxic that crying becomes a negative emotion.

Lili Reinhart 25:52 Yeah

Jay Shetty 25:53 So now when I cry I feel sad, even if crying was going to actually make me feel better.

Lili Reinhart 25:58 Which it does, usually.

Jay Shetty 26:00 Which it does. It does, yeah.

Lili Reinhart 26:01 Yeah

Jay Shetty 26:01 And, and we cry when there's happy tears too.

Lili Reinhart 26:03 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jay Shetty 26:03 At the end of the day, it's a release.

Lili Reinhart 26:05 Yes

Jay Shetty 26:05 And there are so many things that need to be released from the body, the mind, the, the heart.

Lili Reinhart 26:10 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 26:11 And everything you just said, I, I wish everyone would just listen to that part again and again and again.

Lili Reinhart 26:17 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 26:17 And play it to their children-

Lili Reinhart 26:19 Mm

Jay Shetty 26:19 ... and play it to their family members. Because if, if that's all you take out from this conversation, it would change your life. And I know there's so many more, but, but that was t- truly, truly powerful. Oh, sorry, go on. You were-

Lili Reinhart 26:31 No, no.

Jay Shetty 26:31 Yeah

Lili Reinhart 26:31 I mean, I just, to kind of go deeper into that-

Jay Shetty 26:34 Yeah, please

Lili Reinhart 26:34 ... I feel the last two years have been a very large spiritual awakening for me. Uh, really became awakened to the spiritual side of life and really what wellness means. And I thought I knew who I was before and was confident, but really I was, so much of my identity was based off of pleasing other people and putting my identity in other people's hands. And the concept, I read a lot of self-help books, uh, you know, did a deep discovery on all those things, and, and the biggest takeaway I was gathering was how vital it is to sit with your feelings and experience them. Which again, just goes along the, you know, the concept of don't cry. Y- not, you're, you're pushing it away rather than doing the opposite, which is how you heal. I was on a very big healing journey two years ago, which is how this all really started, and the biggest thing I kept reading was feel, like feel your feelings. Sit there and let the feeling be in your body ex- like, let it flow through you. Observe it. Don't judge it. Let it happen as it needs to, to happen. Let it flow through you. And so that's what I, that's what I did, and that's what I... My perspective has changed quite dramatically over the, even the last couple months, and I sort of look at things this way as someone who very much struggles with anxiety and depression. When I feel very ov- overwhelmed by those things and sort of like I'm being burdened by these things, [sighs] I like to think of it as if I started out as this celestial being, this just energy, and the universe or God or whomever said, "Hey. Do you wanna go to Earth for an incredibly short amount of time, like a blip, and experience every emotion that you could possibly feel as a human? You get to have all these experiences, love, heartache, anxiety, joy, euphoria, whatever. All of it. Do you wanna do that?" Yeah, I do. And so when I am feeling these intense feelings, it's sort of like a reality check to step outside and say, "Although this is a very uncomfortable, painful feeling, it's quite beautiful that I have the capacity to experience it," just in general. Like, I am so lucky to feel to the extent that I feel and to feel as deeply as I feel because it can often feel like a curse s- when you're having heartache. And you know, when you're experiencing love, it's absolutely euphoric, and then when it's the opposite, it's a curse.

Jay Shetty 29:39 Mm.

Lili Reinhart 29:39 And so understanding that both of those exist in the same timeline and in the same life, and that is sort of something that I use to ground myself when I am stuck in a feeling of darkness.

Jay Shetty 29:56 That is probably the best description of that I've heard before.

Lili Reinhart 29:59 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 30:00 The idea of if we were given the choice to have this diverse set of emotions, experiences, feelings, and what you rightly said was that if you're experiencing loss-

Lili Reinhart 30:13 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 30:13 ... it means you've experienced love.

Lili Reinhart 30:16 Yeah

Jay Shetty 30:17 And if you've experienced pain, it means you've experienced joy.

Lili Reinhart 30:22 Yeah

Jay Shetty 30:22 It actually means that you've had the fortune-

Lili Reinhart 30:26 Yeah

Jay Shetty 30:26 ... of receiving a glimpse of greatness.

Lili Reinhart 30:31 Yeah

Jay Shetty 30:31 And I lost my mentor to stage four brain cancer.

Lili Reinhart 30:36 Mm.

Jay Shetty 30:37 And I lost him a few years before that because of how-

Lili Reinhart 30:40 They were like-

Jay Shetty 30:40 ... brain cancer works, in the sense that he wasn't-

Lili Reinhart 30:42 Mentally there, yeah

Jay Shetty 30:43 ... mentally there even though he was spiritually there.

Lili Reinhart 30:46 Yeah

Jay Shetty 30:46 And what I always referred to him as, which I found fascinating, was- So when someone has stage four brain cancer, obviously they start to lose aspects of their memory, they start to lose aspects of identity.

Lili Reinhart 30:57 Oh.

Jay Shetty 30:57 And his memory became so short. He had long-term memory, and he lost his short-term memory.

Lili Reinhart 31:02 Mm.

Jay Shetty 31:03 So if he'd see me, he'd be like, "Hey, Jay, how's it going?" And then 30 seconds later, he'd be like, "Hey, Jay, how's it going?"

Lili Reinhart 31:08 Oh, wow.

Jay Shetty 31:08 As if he'd just seen me.

Lili Reinhart 31:09 Oh, wow.

Jay Shetty 31:10 So he'd still know I'm Jay, and he'd still remember our relationship for many, many years, but in the moment, he- you couldn't have attention. But what I found fascinating was that all he did was thank people for their service to God.

Lili Reinhart 31:24 Oh, wow.

Jay Shetty 31:25 So all he'd do, if he saw you, and he was a, he was a community leader, he was, he was a priest in his own right, and if he saw you, he'd be like, "Thank you for what you're doing for others. Thank you for your service."

Lili Reinhart 31:34 Wow.

Jay Shetty 31:35 And I was like, how special was that-

Lili Reinhart 31:36 Wow

Jay Shetty 31:36 ... that that was his broken loop, was gratitude.

Lili Reinhart 31:40 That's the most wholesome thing I've ever [laughs] heard.

Jay Shetty 31:42 Literally. And, and it, and to experience that was just unbelievable, and it's what you're saying, that, yes, I miss him, and yes, of course, I wish he was there. I feel like calling him up every day to tell him what I'm doing and, and different things that happened in my life. But the fact that I can experience that I miss someone-

Lili Reinhart 32:00 Yeah

Jay Shetty 32:00 ... means that I just had something really special.

Lili Reinhart 32:03 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 32:03 I'm not saying that makes it easy. I'm saying that it reaffirms the point that you're making, that we're fortunate to have both experiences because they only come together.

Lili Reinhart 32:13 Yeah. And I do think no one really talks about how people leave your life. You know what death is, you know people are gonna die, but you don't really, until I think you're in your t- 20s, honestly, experience how often people come and go just in general, and it's loss. It is grief. It's not death, but it's, but it's loss, and how profound of a [laughs] a feeling that is. And I almost wish, and I don't know what this looks like or what the teachings look like or what the advice is, but just that there could be more of a conversation of when you are growing up, like, people are gonna come and go, and let's find ways to accept that. Because I think the last two years, I've had what feels like a revolving door of people in my life, new people that I've tried to make connections with, and then they leave, or people that I've been... maybe not make a connection with, so there never really is one, and then the, the relationship kind of just ends. But, but, you know, there have been obviously meaningful relationships that come in, and then they end. And so it's weird because you are going on this journey of loss and grief, but it's not death, and the person still exists, and they have their, their own conscious mind that you're sort of trying to figure out, "Well, how are they experiencing this?" Because in, in death, the person's just gone.

Jay Shetty 33:43 Mm.

Lili Reinhart 33:43 And you can think whatever thoughts you have, and they're yours, and no one can take those away from you, whereas when someone leaves your life and they're still around, it's like, oh, there's two sides to this story, and what is this person's experience? And I just think that's, like, a very interesting concept, is how do you deal with the loss of someone who's still around?

Jay Shetty 34:05 Still around, yeah. E- especially when we've been trained in society to believe that length of time equals success.

Lili Reinhart 34:13 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 34:14 Wow.

Lili Reinhart 34:14 Or that's the measure of love.

Jay Shetty 34:16 Correct.

Lili Reinhart 34:16 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 34:16 Yeah, that the measure of love, the measure of success is-

Lili Reinhart 34:19 Importance

Jay Shetty 34:20 ... longevity-

Lili Reinhart 34:21 Yeah

Jay Shetty 34:21 ... length. We know plenty of people that have been in a job for 25 years that they hate.

Lili Reinhart 34:26 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 34:27 Or have been in a relationship for 15 years that they don't love.

Lili Reinhart 34:30 Right.

Jay Shetty 34:31 And you constantly find that. But also what you're saying, I think more deeply, the idea that we actually deal with coming and going and the seasons of relationships far more.

Lili Reinhart 34:41 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 34:42 And it's like we know that when it's winter, you put on a coat.

Lili Reinhart 34:45 Right, right.

Jay Shetty 34:45 And we know when it's summer, you get to put your shorts on, and when it's spring, you may carry, if you're in London especially, you carry an umbrella.

Lili Reinhart 34:52 Right.

Jay Shetty 34:52 And if it's fall, you get to wear fall colors.

Lili Reinhart 34:54 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 34:54 Like, you know, it's like with the seasons of nature, we know how to adapt our clothing, our preparation. We don't-

Lili Reinhart 35:02 But not with the seasons of life. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 35:03 Absolutely. It just doesn't happen. Like, you don't, you don't ever talk about the winter of life-

Lili Reinhart 35:07 No

Jay Shetty 35:08 ... is what you're saying.

Lili Reinhart 35:08 Right.

Jay Shetty 35:08 If you talk about loss or death or grief as the winter of life-

Lili Reinhart 35:12 Yeah

Jay Shetty 35:12 ... uh, you don't ever talk about it, and then you're unprepared.

Lili Reinhart 35:15 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 35:16 It's almost like-

Lili Reinhart 35:16 I feel very ill-equipped, genuinely. And, and as I've been in my, the last two years dealing with so much of it, I'm like, "There's gotta be some solutions out here."

Jay Shetty 35:27 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 35:27 "There's gotta be people who are talking about it," because I know I'm, you know, not the only woman in their 20s who's going through cycles-

Jay Shetty 35:35 Yeah

Lili Reinhart 35:35 ... of relationships and, and, and meeting new people and then having those people, uh, leave or me choosing to leave. So it's like, uh, come on, guys, let's rally and, and brainstorm and be there for each other, because I don't wanna turn to Google and read stupid articles that tell me that when someone leaves your life, you should go on a hike.

Jay Shetty 35:55 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 35:57 Because if someone tells me to go on a hike one more time-

Jay Shetty 36:01 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 36:02 ... I'm like, "Uh, okay." [laughs]

Jay Shetty 36:05 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 36:06 This is what people say. They say, "When someone leaves your life, when, when something, when you're going through something, ch- pick up a new hobby." Oh, okay. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 36:14 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 36:15 Sh- sure. I'll do that, and that'll take up three seconds of my time and probably, like, $400 to buy all this equipment for this new hobby, whatever it is. Maybe I'll try crocheting.

Jay Shetty 36:26 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 36:26 And then, you know, all of a sudden I'm spending $300 on all these things, and it lasts two seconds. It's like, there's, eh, there's gotta be... What else can I be doing?

Jay Shetty 36:35 Yeah, yeah.

Lili Reinhart 36:36 So what I'm personally been dealing with is the struggle of what is my identity outside-

Jay Shetty 36:42 Mm

Lili Reinhart 36:43 ... of everything else.

Jay Shetty 36:44 Mm.

Lili Reinhart 36:44 What is my identity outside of everyone else, so just me, and outside of work, because I'm a workaholic, and I, since I was a kid- As a survival m- as a coping mechanism, had to basically make acting my identity to push me out of the situations that I was in and launch me into my career. So I feel that I have been in fight or flight mode for most of my life. And what that has done to my [laughs] brain and my body, my mental wellbeing is, if I continue at this rate, catastrophic. I, you know, I will lose my brain power. There's no way. Humans are not meant to continue living in that state of your adrenaline is always going, you know, just that fight or flight response. And I'm basically on this journey right now in my life of trying to calm that down-

Jay Shetty 37:49 Mm-hmm

Lili Reinhart 37:49 ... and trying to just simply exist-

Jay Shetty 37:54 Mm-hmm

Lili Reinhart 37:54 ... and sit in stillness without feeling like I need to fill a void.

Jay Shetty 38:02 Mm-hmm.

Lili Reinhart 38:03 And that is the biggest, that has been, like, waking up with anxiety bec- I'm not working this summer. I'm not filming anything. I'm promoting my movie. Very thankful for that. Um, you know, I have my own production company, so I'm, you know, I'm doing a lot of, I do a lot of Zooms, I do all the things. But there are days where I have nothing to do.

Jay Shetty 38:23 That's amazing.

Lili Reinhart 38:24 Well, that's the challenge-

Jay Shetty 38:26 Yeah, yeah

Lili Reinhart 38:26 ... is, is where I'm thinking, "What do I do with myself?"

Jay Shetty 38:31 Mm-hmm.

Lili Reinhart 38:31 Because I have been programmed to constantly go.

Jay Shetty 38:37 Pick up a new hobby. Go on a hike.

Lili Reinhart 38:38 Yeah, let me do that.

Jay Shetty 38:39 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 38:39 I'm gonna do that.

Jay Shetty 38:40 Come on.

Jay Shetty 38:41 Yeah.

Lili Reinhart 38:41 Um, besides that-

Jay Shetty 38:42 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 38:43 ... I'm like, how do I find serenity and acceptance and peace without running away from myself? Because even, and I'm stopping myself in these tracks, because the past week I've had such bad anxiety about not working and, and being bored, the, the fear of being bored has been haunting me, and I've been thinking, "What trips can I go on? Okay, I'm gonna reach out to, like, literally everyone I know. When are they available?" I'm filling my, I'm looking at the calendar on my phone going, I n- oh, I'm alone that day. Need to fill that up. Like, genuinely, how can I fill my time so I'm not alone? Because loneliness equals my existential crisis thoughts, and I'm going to spiral.

Jay Shetty 39:30 Yeah.

Lili Reinhart 39:31 So I'm very much on that journey of, because I know I don't want that. I do not want that. I do not want to be someone who has to fill that void. I pride myself on being someone who will never just succumb to that and be the person who always has to have friends around, or always needs to be doing something. I don't want that.

Jay Shetty 39:54 Mm-hmm.

Lili Reinhart 39:54 That's not the identity that I want. I want to be able to be okay by myself, and that's a really hard thing to do.

Jay Shetty 40:05 Yeah, yeah.

Lili Reinhart 40:06 It's sort of like, how do you do that?

Jay Shetty 40:10 But even hearing you verbalize and vocalize it is so powerful, right? Like, even to have that as an aspiration-

Lili Reinhart 40:17 Yeah

Jay Shetty 40:17 ... is an unbelievable power, because it's a recognition of your true feelings.

Lili Reinhart 40:24 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 40:24 Going back to what we were speaking about before, you're actually responding to and listening to how your body, mind, and heart feel.

Lili Reinhart 40:32 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 40:33 And so you're already making so much progress because if you weren't listening, then you would be going against the advice that we should be allowed to cry and we should be allowed to do this. And so you're saying, "Well, I just need to take the next three months or, or however long it is-

Lili Reinhart 40:47 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 40:48 ... off because that's what I'm feeling I need."

Lili Reinhart 40:51 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 40:51 And even if you don't know yet what that looks like-

Lili Reinhart 40:54 Yeah

Jay Shetty 40:54 ... you're still deeply responding to that need.

Lili Reinhart 40:56 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 40:57 And so I think there's a real power in that because identifying it is one thing, then implementing it, which you are, is another thing.

Lili Reinhart 41:04 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 41:04 And then, as you said, building your identity as this new identity is almost like step three. I wanna dive into that and, and how we do that with you and how you have found ways of doing it, because I'm guessing that you've had glimpses in these last two years where you have felt at peace with yourself-

Lili Reinhart 41:23 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 41:23 ... or you have had moments where you recognize the value of solitude over loneliness, or-

Lili Reinhart 41:29 Yeah

Jay Shetty 41:29 ... there are moments where you're starting to realize, you said it in your own words, "I don't want to live based on the opinions of others or for others." So there are glimpses of what this looks like-

Lili Reinhart 41:40 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 41:40 ... and you're piecing together the puzzle. But you were saying that, you know, you're going through this transition-

Lili Reinhart 41:46 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 41:47 ... in your life right now, and our identity gets wrapped up in other people, our jobs, our work, everything around of us. And so when you're saying you're trying to understand your identity beyond this-

Lili Reinhart 41:57 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 41:58 ... as Lili Reinhart today-

Lili Reinhart 42:00 Mm

Jay Shetty 42:01 ... who are you beyond those things right now?

Lili Reinhart 42:04 It's a process for me of I'm trying to take it day by day, because I overwhelm myself by trying to fix it all right away. I'm a very all or nothing person, and I'm a very compulsive person. Like, once I find out what's wrong, oh, gotta have a solution immediately. Can't, I don't wanna wait for time. You know, I don't wanna ... That's the worst, when people say, "Just give it time." No, I don't want to do that.

Jay Shetty 42:34 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 42:34 I would like to do it right now.

Jay Shetty 42:36 Yeah.

Lili Reinhart 42:36 To be honest, I was just in Maui recently, and one of the most beautiful moments I had there was when I was in a very spiritual, uh, it was like a spiritual shop. They had crystals, they had, but they had a labyrinth, like a, a maze on the ground that, that you could walk in and just sort of, it was this, it took you, like- ... good 15 minutes to walk through all the little pathways, and then you get, you get to the center, and you can meditate or, and then you can, and then you walk out. And it's, it's a, it's, there was, like, a whole book about, about the ideology behind this labyrinth.

Jay Shetty 43:19 Mm-hmm.

Lili Reinhart 43:19 And, and I didn't, I didn't read it, but I, but I took it as an opportunity to use it as just, like, a, just meditating, a moment of meditation. And I felt so close to myself-

Jay Shetty 43:34 Mm

Lili Reinhart 43:34 ... when I was doing that. Like, it was so true to who I was in that moment to just be doing this activity.

Jay Shetty 43:44 Mm-hmm.

Lili Reinhart 43:44 It was so comforting. It's hard, just like anything, you can lose yourself in something. You know, you can lose yourself in becoming overly, like, l- awakened, and v- your whole identity becomes, "I'm a spiritual guru-

Jay Shetty 44:01 Mm

Lili Reinhart 44:01 ... and I'm healing." Like, all about heal- Like, it's so easy to just fall into that trap.

Jay Shetty 44:07 Mm-hmm.

Lili Reinhart 44:07 And I'm obviously trying not to do that as well, and I'm definitely not, but I, my friends would ne- would never [laughs]

Jay Shetty 44:13 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 44:13 Would, would never let me do that. But, but I do find so much therapy through even just talking about it, even if I don't have the answers.

Jay Shetty 44:25 Yeah, yeah.

Lili Reinhart 44:26 I don't have the answers to who really am I outside of-

Jay Shetty 44:31 Mm-hmm

Lili Reinhart 44:31 ... [laughs] my fight or flight mode, and who a- who am I outside of being an actor?

Jay Shetty 44:35 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Lili Reinhart 44:36 I don't really have the answers to those questions, but just even saying that out loud-

Jay Shetty 44:42 Yeah

Lili Reinhart 44:42 ... makes me feel like I'm closer to figuring it out.

Jay Shetty 44:46 Yeah. And I really appreciate that honesty because I agree, too. Like, I'm, I'm hearing you speak, and, and it feels the same way to me, where I'm like, "Okay, you're not forcing yourself, at least in this moment, to arrive at an answer or to give an answer to complete the sentence." But at the same time, I'm, I'm seeing a self-awareness. I'm seeing a acceptance of that path, and that's what's so useful. And you are right that if you've never allowed yourself to be yourself, how would you know how to describe it? So if I asked you to describe yourself as an actress, you'd be able to describe yourself.

Lili Reinhart 45:20 Yeah, sure.

Jay Shetty 45:20 It'd be pretty easy because you've been an actress plenty of times. Or you could describe those roles that you've played. But then when someone asks you, "Who are you?" to pretty much 99.9% of people on the planet, we can't answer it because we've never actually let ourselves be ourselves. So it's not alien to not know.

Lili Reinhart 45:40 Yeah. Well, I think we, we know who we are in relation to other people.

Jay Shetty 45:45 Yeah.

Lili Reinhart 45:45 And to things.

Jay Shetty 45:46 Our roles.

Lili Reinhart 45:46 To our role. Yeah, 100%. But then when you take, like, take the roles away, what are you?

Jay Shetty 45:53 Yeah.

Lili Reinhart 45:53 Like, whoa.

Jay Shetty 45:55 Whoa.

Lili Reinhart 45:55 I do not know. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 45:56 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 45:57 I do not know.

Jay Shetty 45:57 But, but that is the beginning of figuring it out.

Lili Reinhart 45:59 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 45:59 Like, that's, yeah, that's the, because you now can go, "Okay, am I playing Lili the actress?"

Lili Reinhart 46:04 Mm.

Jay Shetty 46:05 "Or am I playing Lili the daughter, friend, whatever? Or am I trying to discover what Lili would do?"

Lili Reinhart 46:12 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 46:12 Right?

Lili Reinhart 46:13 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 46:13 And it's, and it is that conversation of ... It's kind of like when my sister, when I'm giving her relationship advice, and she'll be like, "Stop being Jay Shetty." Like, you know-

Lili Reinhart 46:20 Oh, yeah

Jay Shetty 46:20 ... like, "Be my brother," right?

Lili Reinhart 46:22 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 46:22 And it's like, that's what my sister would say to me 'cause she doesn't want a coaching conversation with her brother. She wants me to be her brother.

Lili Reinhart 46:30 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 46:31 And so then I'm like, okay, so she gets the brother version, and then there's this version that this community gets.

Lili Reinhart 46:38 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 46:38 But then it's like, but then who am I beyond all of those things?

Lili Reinhart 46:40 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 46:40 And I really realized that when I left the monkhood because even so much of my identity has bec- had become wrapped in being a monk.

Lili Reinhart 46:49 Yep.

Jay Shetty 46:49 And the whole point of being a monk was to not have an identity that you're wrapped up in.

Lili Reinhart 46:54 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 46:55 That was the whole goal. Everything you're talking about is exactly what we were working on f- when I was there for three years.

Lili Reinhart 47:00 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 47:01 But even then, it was so easy to get wrapped up in another identity. And so when that identity collapsed after three years, when I, when it all fell apart for me, that was when I allowed myself to learn about who I was beyond that identity. And even now, I have to hold onto that, so-

Lili Reinhart 47:20 How'd you do it? [laughs]

Jay Shetty 47:22 I'd say that the first of it was a f- a sense of, and this sounds painful, but, and it is, there is a sense of role destruction.

Lili Reinhart 47:33 Yeah. Pan- like panic.

Jay Shetty 47:35 Panic, and feeling something and a part of you that you use for safety to dissolve.

Lili Reinhart 47:43 Yep.

Jay Shetty 47:43 And that's the hardest part. It's hard to let go of the false identity because it's a sense of safety, that being a monk is a sense of safety. Being an actor is a sense of safety. Being whatever is a sense of safety. And unless you're willing to go, "I'm letting that safety go," to some degree, it's very hard to say, "Okay, well, I'm open to what this is." So that was the first part. It was like letting go of that identity externally in my language, in my intellectual thoughts about who I was, in how I thought people perceived me. And then the next step was saying, rather than who am I, was who do I want to be?

Lili Reinhart 48:23 Mm.

Jay Shetty 48:23 So what I realized was we're trying to figure out who we are rather than create who we are.

Lili Reinhart 48:28 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 48:28 And we do this as humans. We go into finding and seeking rather than creating and being.

Lili Reinhart 48:35 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 48:35 And finding and seeking is the never-ending journey because there's nothing to look for. There is only things to be and create.

Lili Reinhart 48:42 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 48:42 And so I realized that everything I was currently being and creating was based on values I'd adopted from family, friends, or society. So I literally made a list of what are my current values. I then asked myself, where do they come from?

Lili Reinhart 48:57 Mm.

Jay Shetty 48:57 And so it was, like, my parents, some kid in school who bullied me.

Lili Reinhart 49:01 Sure.

Jay Shetty 49:02 My teacher who told me I wasn't this or that, a friend who thought I was cool or uncool based on whatever. And then I asked myself, do I still have that value? Do I still want to live that value?

Lili Reinhart 49:12 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 49:13 And so I shifted to creating a new list- ... of values and principles that I wanted to live by, and I just started practicing them-

Lili Reinhart 49:21 Yeah

Jay Shetty 49:21 ... with everyone I met.

Lili Reinhart 49:23 Mm.

Jay Shetty 49:23 And that's how I started to create and be my new identity-

Lili Reinhart 49:26 Mm

Jay Shetty 49:26 ... rather than subscribing to an old one, if that makes sense.

Lili Reinhart 49:30 It makes-

Jay Shetty 49:30 That's a very quick version. Yeah.

Lili Reinhart 49:31 No, it makes perfect sense, because I recently have been having those thoughts to myself as like, who have I really... If I were to explain myself, describe myself in a couple words, there are characteristics that I use that I don't actually like. I don't like being a negative person, but I think I would describe myself, I, or I used to describe myself as a negative person, as a pessimist, as a full realist, not entirely hopeful kind of person. And recently was thinking, "Well, I don't like that. I don't, I don't... Actually, if I had the choice, I would choose to not be that person. I would not, I don't want to be a negative person. I don't want to be a pessimist." But it's safety.

Jay Shetty 50:22 Yes.

Lili Reinhart 50:22 It's not getting my hopes up. It's protecting my heart. It's shelter. And-

Jay Shetty 50:29 Mm

Lili Reinhart 50:29 ... how do you part ways with something that you h- have identified with for so long? And that's obviously a, a challenge in itself, but it's something that I'm very much trying to do, even with my food choices, like someone who has enjoyed really, f- food that's really terrible for you your whole life, and now making the conscious effort to change that and, and fuel my body and treat my body in a better, healthier way. It's, it's all just making these conscious decisions of, oh, do I... I'm, I'm just fully in autopilot right now j- just choosing the same thing because that's what I've always done. Oh, I'm just being pessimistic because that's what I've always done. And it takes pausing and reflecting and making an active effort to shift that behavior.

Jay Shetty 51:20 Yeah.

Lili Reinhart 51:20 And that's so hard.

Jay Shetty 51:21 It's so hard. We're simply living patterns.

Lili Reinhart 51:24 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 51:25 Right? That's, that's literally as simple as it is. It's like we've adopted a pattern-

Lili Reinhart 51:29 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 51:29 ... and now we have to choose to practice a new pattern-

Lili Reinhart 51:34 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 51:34 ... based on who we want to be, and that's why I think the journey of who am I is really who do I want to be, who do I want to create, who do, who do I want to live as? Because we've never known who we are, so trying to figure out who we are is, is a fool's errand, 'cause you just keep getting stuck. And then, like you just said, now you accept, "Oh, I'm a negative person because that's who I've always been," not realizing it's just a pattern you developed. It's just a habit you adopted. It's just what you absorbed through your environment, as opposed to selected it.

Lili Reinhart 52:05 That's truly s- I mean, it's such a profound thing that's just, like, s- settling into my brain now is, is even the last couple days been thinking, I need to find out who I am. Like, find. I need to find it. I need to search for it-

Jay Shetty 52:19 Mm

Lili Reinhart 52:19 ... rather than I will never get anywhere if I do that. It's a matter of who do I w- want to be, and then actively doing that.

Jay Shetty 52:30 Yeah, and selecting those values, selecting those principles, selecting the habits, like you just gave for your food.

Lili Reinhart 52:36 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 52:37 It's like if you just said, "Who am I?" You'd... I'd be like, "Yeah, I'm someone who loves chocolate."

Lili Reinhart 52:41 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 52:41 Like, I'm someone who loves ice cream. I'm someone who loves junk food, fast food. But that's not who I am. That's just a pattern I built, and I can change that pattern. Yes, it's hard. I'm, I, and I'm, I'm with you on that. Like, it's been... When I met my wife, she's the one who transformed my diet, because I was always someone who was focused on mastering the mind-

Lili Reinhart 52:58 Mm

Jay Shetty 52:58 ... and I kind of neglected the body and kind of didn't care. And my wife is a nutritionist and dietician and Ayurvedic chef, and so her whole world is food.

Lili Reinhart 53:07 Quite convenient. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 53:08 Very convenient. Hugely convenient. If you want to change your life-

Lili Reinhart 53:11 Wow

Jay Shetty 53:11 ... marry, yeah. And, and it was like she got me off refined sugar. She got me off the wrong oils. She got me off, like, packaged and processed foods-

Lili Reinhart 53:18 Yep

Jay Shetty 53:19 ... on a daily basis. And it was so much education-

Lili Reinhart 53:22 Yeah

Jay Shetty 53:22 ... and so much coaching that I received from her that allowed me to make transitions, where I, the first thing I said to her was like, "I don't know how I would live without sugar."

Lili Reinhart 53:33 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 53:33 Like, I don't know.

Lili Reinhart 53:34 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 53:34 And it sounds ridiculous now, but it's like, yeah, when I m- when we got married six years ago, and I was like, "Yeah, I don't know what you want me to do."

Lili Reinhart 53:41 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 53:41 And then we started looking for alternatives. And, and now if you ask me, I pretty much would eat, like, I guess refined sugar maybe, like, once a month.

Lili Reinhart 53:50 Oh.

Jay Shetty 53:50 And, and so you-

Lili Reinhart 53:51 That's amazing

Jay Shetty 53:52 ... and that's amazing for me.

Lili Reinhart 53:53 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 53:53 Like, that's a big thing for me-

Lili Reinhart 53:55 Wow

Jay Shetty 53:55 ... because I didn't know. I grew up eating four chocolate products a day. My mom gave me a chocolate biscuit, a chocolate bar, a chocolate yogurt, and a chocolate ice cream every day. [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 54:03 Right.

Jay Shetty 54:04 And I was addicted and, to sugar.

Lili Reinhart 54:05 Yep.

Jay Shetty 54:06 And so it's pattern formation though. And yes, you're so right. It requires discipline. It's painful. It's, it's hard. But I love that that's dropped for you, like, and I love that you took us there today, because I think too many people are finding and looking and seeking and searching, and it's being and creating and building and forming-

Lili Reinhart 54:24 Yeah

Jay Shetty 54:25 ... uh, which is where our energy needs to go. Because you've seen yourself build a career.

Lili Reinhart 54:30 Mm.

Jay Shetty 54:30 You've seen yourself create your, your roles. You've seen yourself create a book. You've seen yourself create a show. Like, you created those things. You didn't find them.

Lili Reinhart 54:41 Very true.

Jay Shetty 54:41 You, you didn't search for them. You didn't seek them.

Lili Reinhart 54:43 Yeah. Nice.

Jay Shetty 54:43 So you know you have creative energy and creative power.

Lili Reinhart 54:46 Yeah. Like, damn, gotta create myself now.

Jay Shetty 54:49 Yeah. [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 54:49 How ex- how exciting.

Jay Shetty 54:51 It is very exciting.

Lili Reinhart 54:52 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 54:52 And then there's a sense of selection and control, and not control in a control freak way-

Lili Reinhart 54:57 No, but a-

Jay Shetty 54:57 ... but in a sense of like you can-

Lili Reinhart 54:59 I can choose.

Jay Shetty 54:59 Yes.

Lili Reinhart 55:00 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 55:00 Yeah.

Lili Reinhart 55:00 I can make the choice, and, and my first step was definitely the epiphany of, oh wait, I actually don't want to keep identifying with this.

Jay Shetty 55:10 Yeah. Yeah. Were you always,

Jay Shetty 55:14 you used the word spiritual. Was that a word in your vocabulary always?

Lili Reinhart 55:18 No.

Jay Shetty 55:18 Did it arise two years ago? Like, how did that become a path- ... to a lot of this healing and journey that you've been on, as opposed to something else? Like, I think-

Lili Reinhart 55:27 Yeah

Jay Shetty 55:27 ... there's so many options.

Lili Reinhart 55:28 Yeah, yeah.

Jay Shetty 55:29 Why this? Why-

Lili Reinhart 55:30 Right

Jay Shetty 55:30 ... how?

Lili Reinhart 55:30 I mean, I grew up Christian. Uh, it was, I went to a Presbyterian church, which I definitely do not, uh, align with those teachings anymore, but I do believe in God. I, I, I do call myself a Christian, but I also call myself very spiritual. And I think two years ago, the, the lockdown was, was forcing-

Jay Shetty 55:53 Mm-hmm

Lili Reinhart 55:53 ... me to go through this, this healing journey by myself. And my journey through healing was through spiritual healing, and through, uh, working with actual healers and, and energy. And I studied, and I started to study Reiki, and I'm gonna get my mas- my masters. I mean, I'm gonna going to be a Reiki master-

Jay Shetty 56:21 Yes

Lili Reinhart 56:21 ... at the end of the summer. I'm taking my-

Jay Shetty 56:22 That's amazing.

Lili Reinhart 56:23 Thank you. So it, it became a, I'm going to look inward is sort of what, what, what it was. And, and I found that that became, oh, that's clearly a very spiritual route. You're looking in towards your spirit, towards your soul. You're doing shadow work-

Jay Shetty 56:38 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 56:38 ... soul searching.

Jay Shetty 56:40 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 56:40 So I was like, "Okay. Okay. Spirituality is the word that I'm resonating with."

Jay Shetty 56:45 Yeah.

Lili Reinhart 56:45 And I, I actually went to Mount Shasta, which, which is a very high vibrational, highly spiritual place in Northern California, and I went there by myself, and I worked with a, she calls herself a sound healer. Uh, and I w- and I worked with her and found the experience s- I just, again, felt, I felt very much like I was so at home with myself while I was doing those things.

Jay Shetty 57:11 Mm.

Lili Reinhart 57:11 So connected to myself, connected to my higher self, the person that I want to be. And so I thought, "Yes, this is the right path for me." And so s- kind of ever since then, I've been very into spirituality, and, you know, I've always loved crystals. Everyone loves crystals.

Jay Shetty 57:32 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 57:32 But, like, looking past that into a deeper form of energy healing, and that led me to Reiki, which led me to sound healing and going to sound baths-

Jay Shetty 57:44 Mm

Lili Reinhart 57:44 ... and, and then meditation. And, and I took a course and, and I learned TM-

Jay Shetty 57:49 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm

Lili Reinhart 57:49 ... transcendental meditation, which wasn't really the, it didn't super resonate with me. It hasn't stuck with me, but it is something that I tried. So it, it's been a trial, you know, trial of just different things. And, uh, I guess that's just what I call, when I say I'm spiritual, I'm o- I'm on that very, uh, personal journey with myself, looking inward-

Jay Shetty 58:15 Yeah, yeah

Lili Reinhart 58:15 ... is sort of what I mean by that.

Jay Shetty 58:17 Yeah. But I, but I love those examples because it is a practicing of different methods and techniques-

Lili Reinhart 58:23 Yeah

Jay Shetty 58:23 ... to find what works for you.

Lili Reinhart 58:24 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 58:24 And you've obviously found, you know, both in Reiki and sound healing, what, what really soothed your soul and your-

Lili Reinhart 58:31 Yeah

Jay Shetty 58:31 ... your, your healing, which I think is such an important part of it. I think spirituality or healing or any of these terms can often get, they're, they're so big-

Lili Reinhart 58:41 Yeah

Jay Shetty 58:41 ... and they can get a good or bad name based on a particular practice, and the idea is that it's just such a big umbrella term for so many practices that it's so important that people keep an open mind-

Lili Reinhart 58:54 Yeah

Jay Shetty 58:54 ... to finding what works for them. And y- you're right, there may be a certain aspect that just doesn't, you know, float your boat and doesn't-

Lili Reinhart 59:00 Right

Jay Shetty 59:00 ... make you feel great, but there's other parts that could reveal it to you, you know, very powerfully.

Lili Reinhart 59:05 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 59:05 I think when I lived as a monk, we traveled a lot in Southern India, where a lot of temples are around 2 to 5,000 years old, and I never had been anywhere that old.

Lili Reinhart 59:15 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 59:15 Like, my school was 500 years old that I went to in England-

Lili Reinhart 59:18 Wow

Jay Shetty 59:18 ... and so that was pretty old.

Lili Reinhart 59:20 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 59:20 But then when you go to-

Lili Reinhart 59:21 Mine was, like, 80 years old.

Jay Shetty 59:22 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Lili Reinhart 59:22 [laughs] It was, like, not-

Jay Shetty 59:23 My, my school is literally 1573, I think was the year it was founded-

Lili Reinhart 59:27 Oh my gosh

Jay Shetty 59:28 ... by the Queen, uh, in England.

Lili Reinhart 59:30 That is insane.

Jay Shetty 59:30 And so, yeah, and so our school was pretty old and had this big history, but when I, when I went to these temples that were like 2,000, 5,000 years old and you see this incredible architecture, it's, you know, it's maintained. I never realized that I found going on pilgrimage to be so deeply healing. And for me-

Lili Reinhart 59:49 Yeah

Jay Shetty 59:49 ... because I would go into these chambers where sound, similarly, has been maintained and preserved for thousands of years. People have meditated, chanted, played bowls, uh, gongs, whatever it may be, in these spaces, and you can still feel the reverberation when you walk in.

Lili Reinhart 1:00:09 Oh, that sounds so amazing.

Jay Shetty 1:00:10 And it's, and it's really powerful. Like, it, it really feels like... You know, and so, again, that was something that I never would've known growing up in London and, you know, having to go to that experience, and those temples are mainly in Southern India-

Lili Reinhart 1:00:22 Mm

Jay Shetty 1:00:22 ... where you see-

Lili Reinhart 1:00:23 Sounds like I need to go to Southern India.

Jay Shetty 1:00:24 Yeah, where you see that, like, real ancient hist- history of, of, uh, spirituality in, in Southern India. And so those kind of places for me were, like, things that I never thought I'd discover and-

Lili Reinhart 1:00:35 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:00:35 ... and then there's parts that I'm like, "Yeah, I would never go and do

Jay Shetty 1:00:38 X, Y, Z." So how did you find these things, or were they friends? Were they recommendations? Was it the internet? Like, how were you discovering certain things for you? Because I feel like that's quite difficult for people to-

Lili Reinhart 1:00:50 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:00:50 ... to find.

Lili Reinhart 1:00:51 I mean, it's easy in LA. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:00:52 Yes, yeah, it's easy in LA. Yeah.

Lili Reinhart 1:00:53 Because you're surrounded by people who are... You're, there's a crystal shop on every corner.

Jay Shetty 1:00:59 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 1:01:00 Genuinely. And, and-

Jay Shetty 1:01:01 There's a tarot card reader.

Lili Reinhart 1:01:02 Truly.

Jay Shetty 1:01:02 Yeah.

Lili Reinhart 1:01:02 And I think I was always like, "Oh, tarot's interesting." That happened a, you know, a couple years ago. Bought my first tarot deck. And Reiki, actually, my, a makeup artist on Riverdale who worked on the first and second season, she was a Reiki master, and she was telling me about it, and one day performed Reiki on me-

Jay Shetty 1:01:21 Oh, wow

Lili Reinhart 1:01:23 Oh, this is so cool. And so I was always super interested in diving into that, and then the lockdown just kind of gave me a-

Jay Shetty 1:01:29 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 1:01:30 ... a, a, a boost to explore that because I was like, damn, I could use some healing. Maybe I should heal myself.

Jay Shetty 1:01:35 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 1:01:36 And then it also just came from, I think, the word wellness.

Jay Shetty 1:01:40 Mm.

Lili Reinhart 1:01:40 Like, what is well- wellness? And I Googled wellness retreats in California.

Jay Shetty 1:01:46 Mm.

Lili Reinhart 1:01:46 And, uh, I was like, okay, maybe not a retreat. I don't really wanna be doing yoga and eating vegetables for a week.

Jay Shetty 1:01:52 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 1:01:52 Like, not necessarily my vibe.

Jay Shetty 1:01:54 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 1:01:54 I want it to be a little bit more personalized and grounding-

Jay Shetty 1:01:58 Yeah, yeah

Lili Reinhart 1:01:58 ... for just me, and I found my sound healer in Mount Shasta, and so I went and saw her by myself and really kind of had a firsthand experience of sound healing, and past life readings, and cord-cutting ceremonies, and not astral projection, but just sort of your astral bodies and, and things like that. It was like this world that was suddenly opening up to me that was so ... I've always just found this, kind of the, the afterlife, I guess, very-

Jay Shetty 1:02:28 Mm

Lili Reinhart 1:02:28 ... fascinating.

Jay Shetty 1:02:29 Mm.

Lili Reinhart 1:02:29 I've always been terrified and intrigued at the idea of ghosts.

Jay Shetty 1:02:33 Mm.

Lili Reinhart 1:02:34 And like what, what are ... wh- what's that?

Jay Shetty 1:02:35 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 1:02:35 Like, what is talking to a spirit, you know? It's so-

Jay Shetty 1:02:39 Yeah, yeah

Lili Reinhart 1:02:39 ... weird, and I've always felt like I've been very highly intuitive, kind of in tuned person. Oh, I see symbols, and I see things are very serendipitous, and there's not ... There's all these coincidences that are happening. And, and so I, uh, also was looking into ... a- and to be honest, TikTok was-

Jay Shetty 1:03:01 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 1:03:01 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:03:02 Off-road, that-

Lili Reinhart 1:03:02 Yeah, off-road

Jay Shetty 1:03:02 ... that was not what I was expe-

Lili Reinhart 1:03:04 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:03:04 I was not expecting TikTok.

Lili Reinhart 1:03:05 But there is-

Jay Shetty 1:03:06 Like, yeah

Lili Reinhart 1:03:06 ... such a spiritual side of TikTok that is so vast.

Jay Shetty 1:03:10 Can you put me onto that side? [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 1:03:12 Yes. I mean, it's the algorithm. You start seeing one video, and then you're seeing a million of them. And, and I was stumbling on these pages of just like highly intuitive people.

Jay Shetty 1:03:22 Mm.

Lili Reinhart 1:03:22 And I reached out to one of them and said, "Do you offer mentorships-

Jay Shetty 1:03:27 Yeah

Lili Reinhart 1:03:27 ... or something?" And, and she said yeah. And so I did a mentorship with a psychic for three months where she taught me how to heal my ancestral trauma. And I believe we all have psychic abilities. It's a matter of training your brain.

Jay Shetty 1:03:44 Mm-hmm.

Lili Reinhart 1:03:44 Some people are just born being more in tune and tapped into that skill.

Jay Shetty 1:03:48 Yeah.

Lili Reinhart 1:03:48 But I do believe that we all have the ability to tap into them, so I was really just trying to learn how to do that 'cause I thought that was so fascinating. She did teach me how to talk to the deceased.

Jay Shetty 1:04:01 Wow.

Lili Reinhart 1:04:01 Um, not that I can do it well.

Jay Shetty 1:04:03 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 1:04:04 I will say I've only, I feel that I've only successfully done it like twice or three times, and even then while you're doing it you're sort of like, am I doing this?

Jay Shetty 1:04:14 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 1:04:15 Like-

Jay Shetty 1:04:15 Most people when they would hear these things, there's judgment about, oh-

Lili Reinhart 1:04:18 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:04:18 ... that's just wacky or-

Lili Reinhart 1:04:19 Sure

Jay Shetty 1:04:19 ... that's whatever. Like, and but what I'm seeing in you, which I'm appreciating, is just, hey, I'm, I'm trying to be me. Like, I, I, right now I'm exploring this.

Lili Reinhart 1:04:28 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 1:04:29 Right now I'm experimenting with this.

Lili Reinhart 1:04:30 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:04:30 I'm learning this.

Lili Reinhart 1:04:31 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:04:32 Maybe it's something that I believe is true, maybe it isn't, but I'm at least doing what I wanna do now-

Lili Reinhart 1:04:38 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:04:38 ... without worrying about what everyone else thinks and believes.

Lili Reinhart 1:04:41 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:04:41 I mean, when I chose to become a monk at 21 going on 22, 99% of my friends thought I was absolutely insane because they're like, "Why would you do that?" Like, why would you not wanna go make money, and date more women, and get into another relationship, and get a home or whatever it was. And so I know what it feels like to make a decision that most people around me feel doesn't make any sense and is completely against the grain of ... But it was the best decision I ever made in my life.

Lili Reinhart 1:05:09 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:05:09 And I have zero regrets about that decision or how I spent that three years, and I look back at it all the time and ... But at the time, everyone around me thought I was making the worst decision. My family said I was committing career suicide. You know, my friends were completely confused. My society and people in our community were like, "Oh, you're letting your parents down-

Lili Reinhart 1:05:32 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:05:32 ... and you'll never get a job again." You know, there's just so much judgment.

Lili Reinhart 1:05:35 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:05:36 But I was just trying to do what felt right in my intuition at this time, and it wasn't harming anyone.

Lili Reinhart 1:05:42 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:05:42 And I think that's the ... You know, that to me is like the, the barrier where it's like, well, you're trying something. It's not harming anyone.

Lili Reinhart 1:05:47 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:05:48 It's not harming you. It's not harming anyone around you.

Lili Reinhart 1:05:49 Right, right.

Jay Shetty 1:05:50 And if, if that's allowing you to explore a part of yourself, you just never know where it could go. So it's very comforting for people to hear about being into unique things-

Lili Reinhart 1:05:59 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:05:59 ... because we all ... It's almost like we all follow the same people.

Lili Reinhart 1:06:03 Mm.

Jay Shetty 1:06:03 We all watch the same things.

Lili Reinhart 1:06:05 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:06:05 And there's nothing wrong with that, but it's nice to have a few things that are unique.

Lili Reinhart 1:06:09 A break from the norm.

Jay Shetty 1:06:09 And a br- exactly, a break from the norm. I wanna talk to you about, a bit about, you know, this, this new show, and we were talking about this idea of you get to play these two parallel lives which kind of with everything you're talking about-

Lili Reinhart 1:06:23 Yeah, interesting

Jay Shetty 1:06:24 ... is fascinatingly connected.

Lili Reinhart 1:06:26 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:06:26 And I love that idea of parallel universes, of multiple lives, of the multiverse right now is a big-

Lili Reinhart 1:06:34 Such a big thing

Jay Shetty 1:06:35 ... big thing and a big talking point.

Lili Reinhart 1:06:37 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:06:37 When you're playing these roles, how much of these roles are you identifying with? Especially, I guess, like moving to LA for a career-

Lili Reinhart 1:06:44 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:06:44 ... that's very much in line with you.

Lili Reinhart 1:06:46 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:06:47 Uh, and then obviously becoming a pregnant mother.

Lili Reinhart 1:06:50 Haven't experienced that yet, but-

Jay Shetty 1:06:51 Yeah, that one you haven't experienced. Like, when you're doing that, how much of what you've just talked about that you're interested in-

Lili Reinhart 1:06:58 Mm

Jay Shetty 1:06:58 ... kind of feeds into those roles and when you're playing those roles and becoming these new identity?

Lili Reinhart 1:07:02 Well, for the, I mean, for the film, people are, people ask like was it so hard to play two, two different character? No, that's the same woman. So it's the same girl just experiencing two very different things, and so that was amazing to play. This, this woman, and, and I knew who she was, and I created her as a character. I knew what she valued, what she wanted, and I was, you know, we're fortunate enough as an audience to see both things play out. It is weird because I, I'm very into... I do have those existential, like if I did make this decision, what would've happened?

Jay Shetty 1:07:40 Yeah, sliding doors. Yeah

Lili Reinhart 1:07:41 ... and, and how, you know, how, how would things have panned out? And the reason why I, I loved the script so much when I read it was she's okay in both lives. She ends up being okay.

Jay Shetty 1:07:54 Wow.

Lili Reinhart 1:07:55 And there is no one path that you go, "Oh, that was the right path"

Jay Shetty 1:07:59 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 1:07:59 ... or, "That was the wrong path." It's truly just two different paths.

Jay Shetty 1:08:04 Yeah

Lili Reinhart 1:08:04 And I think, uh, especially in your 20s, things happen every day. Relationships end, things, you know, people, you can get pregnant, and you think, "Oh, my whole life is just gone," or, or, "My whole world is shifting." And I don't think that's always a, I don't think that's a, has to be a bad thing.

Jay Shetty 1:08:24 Yeah.

Lili Reinhart 1:08:24 I think there are millions of ways your life can turn out.

Jay Shetty 1:08:30 Mm-hmm.

Lili Reinhart 1:08:30 It's based off decisions you make every single day, but in the end, things are okay.

Jay Shetty 1:08:35 Yeah

Lili Reinhart 1:08:35 Things end up okay. I think if you stop and put too much thought into every decision you make, you're gonna live a very treacherous life of-

Jay Shetty 1:08:45 Yeah

Lili Reinhart 1:08:45 ... feeling like you're walking on eggshells. I think it's, it's a, a matter of saying, I mean, I personally like to look at it as the universe has my back.

Jay Shetty 1:08:54 Yeah.

Lili Reinhart 1:08:54 And so I think this film also resonates with how I feel in that regard of this woman had two, she had a positive pregnancy test and a negative one, and you see two possible scenarios out of a million, uh, uh, of what her life could've been.

Jay Shetty 1:09:12 Mm-hmm.

Lili Reinhart 1:09:13 And, and you see the journey she goes on through both and how she still has the same ambition.

Jay Shetty 1:09:18 Mm-hmm.

Lili Reinhart 1:09:18 And she doesn't lose herself in, in, in, in having a child. She still s- stays who she is, and she doesn't lose her ambition. And when she goes to LA and goes through the hardships of trying to make her career work, she doesn't give up. You know? It's sort of a perseverance story in, in how you don't have to lose yourself in the things that happen to you.

Jay Shetty 1:09:40 Yeah.

Lili Reinhart 1:09:40 You can still stay you.

Jay Shetty 1:09:44 Yeah. The thing that resonates most with me with that message and the whole conversation we've had today is this idea that even in one life you can be so many things.

Lili Reinhart 1:09:53 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:09:53 And I think we always are trying to make this choice, as you're saying, like, it's like, "Well, do I do this? And how will that impact me? Or do I do this?" And it's like, you could probably do both.

Lili Reinhart 1:10:02 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:10:02 I mean, we've probably, you've lived so many different lives, and I know most people-

Lili Reinhart 1:10:06 So have you. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:10:06 Yeah, and so have I. And most people I know have lived loads of different lives.

Lili Reinhart 1:10:10 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:10:11 And I think we feel forced to live one life and one truth.

Lili Reinhart 1:10:14 Mm.

Jay Shetty 1:10:15 And I don't think that's true for anyone in reality, and when you force yourself to live one life and one truth, you actually limit... What you started with was with all these experiences and all these experiments and an openness to all these feelings.

Lili Reinhart 1:10:30 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:10:30 So, you know, I, I like that idea of the two lives into ultimately that both work out okay.

Lili Reinhart 1:10:37 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:10:37 And recognizing in one life you can live three lives or seven, and-

Lili Reinhart 1:10:40 Mm-hmm

Jay Shetty 1:10:41 ... things can be okay.

Lili Reinhart 1:10:43 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:10:43 With that in mind, I wanna shift towards you've made so many changes in your diet, your health. You've experienced chronic fatigue.

Lili Reinhart 1:10:50 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:10:50 ... you, you know, and we haven't talked about that, so let's, let's dive into that actually deeply. I've been through chronic fatigue. It, it lasted a long time. It, it led to deeper gut issues.

Lili Reinhart 1:10:58 Ugh.

Jay Shetty 1:10:59 It, it, it's led to so many lifestyle changes. It was stuff that also just snuck up on me without me even being aware-

Lili Reinhart 1:11:05 Mm

Jay Shetty 1:11:06 ... because I was living so much in the mind and my heart that I wasn't even aware of what my body was going through.

Lili Reinhart 1:11:11 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:11:11 And so I was, you know, grounding back into my body.

Jay Shetty 1:11:15 How does it feel to live your career and experience chro- chronic fatigue? You know, actor days are sometimes 18-hour days-

Lili Reinhart 1:11:21 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:11:21 ... if not more. Early mornings, late nights.

Lili Reinhart 1:11:23 It's hard.

Jay Shetty 1:11:24 It's a thing people don't realize, the lifestyle of making a movie-

Lili Reinhart 1:11:27 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:11:27 ... or making a show, where you're in a trailer all day.

Lili Reinhart 1:11:30 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:11:30 It's not the most comfortable, inspiring atmosphere-

Lili Reinhart 1:11:33 Right

Jay Shetty 1:11:33 ... as people think the career may be.

Lili Reinhart 1:11:36 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:11:36 Uh, how does that work with chronic fatigue and diet and-

Lili Reinhart 1:11:40 I often-

Jay Shetty 1:11:40 ... eating on time?

Lili Reinhart 1:11:41 Yeah. I mean, I say to myself, I'm like, "Damn, I'm in the wrong career." [laughs] Not that... I don't actually believe that.

Jay Shetty 1:11:46 Yeah, yeah.

Lili Reinhart 1:11:46 But, you know, when I, when I, I'm someone who very much needs at least eight hours to function.

Jay Shetty 1:11:53 Yeah, me too.

Lili Reinhart 1:11:53 And so sometimes when it's a, a four-hour turnaround or I have to get up and go on a plane quickly, I'm like, "Oh, God, this is a challenge for me." But because it's something that I love to do so much, I truly just run off of the pure joy I find in what I do. And it's not s- like, you know, I, I take naps when I can, but I also am very much under, like, now at this point in my life, really taking my gut health seriously, trying... I've treated my body like a junkyard for a very long time with what I've been eating, and, uh, it's, it's got to a point where earlier this year I knew I needed to make real changes because I was so unhappy with how I looked, b- one, but also I felt that I was doing a great disservice to my body. I spend so much time trying to better my mental health, and I don't put any of that into my physical body. And there's all this new research on how depression is directly related to your gut-

Jay Shetty 1:13:00 Mm-hmm

Lili Reinhart 1:13:00 ... and, and all these things, and I'm like, "Okay, we're gonna take this seriously."

Jay Shetty 1:13:04 Yeah.

Lili Reinhart 1:13:04 And it is a truly reprogramming of bad patterns and habits that I've grown up just immediately going to the fast food, to processed foods.

Jay Shetty 1:13:13 Yeah.

Lili Reinhart 1:13:14 And, and it's truly been about educating myself on the better options and reading ingredients-

Jay Shetty 1:13:21 Mm-hmm

Lili Reinhart 1:13:21 ... and choosing the less convenient alternative. And I actually think that the chronic fatigue has slowly started to-

Jay Shetty 1:13:29 Amazing

Lili Reinhart 1:13:29 ... improve-

Jay Shetty 1:13:30 So happy to hear that

Lili Reinhart 1:13:30 ... b- because of it.

Jay Shetty 1:13:31 So happy to hear that.

Lili Reinhart 1:13:32 I mean, me too. It's been, I've been dealing with this basically since I was diagnosed with depression when I was 14.

Jay Shetty 1:13:39 Yeah.

Lili Reinhart 1:13:40 So it's, it's just now, and it, it's always, I don't know if it'll- ... fully cure itself with my, with my diet. We're getting there, we're trying, but it is a, it's an everyday-

Jay Shetty 1:13:51 It is

Lili Reinhart 1:13:51 ... thing, small steps, not trying to completely change everything all at once. And I think obviously in these hard times, food is a great comfort-

Jay Shetty 1:14:01 Yeah

Lili Reinhart 1:14:01 ... and offers a lot of, to me at least, it's, it can be very comforting, so I do turn to food sometimes to, to fill that sort of emotional need. But again, recognizing that, not judging myself for it, just trying to make healthier decisions overall is what I'm very much trying to do.

Jay Shetty 1:14:21 Me too.

Lili Reinhart 1:14:22 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:14:22 Yeah. I can relate to everything you just said, so. [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 1:14:25 It's a daily-

Jay Shetty 1:14:25 Yeah, it's a daily-

Lili Reinhart 1:14:26 ... practice

Jay Shetty 1:14:26 ... it's a daily practice.

Lili Reinhart 1:14:27 It

Lili Reinhart 1:14:28 is.

Jay Shetty 1:14:28 How would you describe your current purpose in life? Like, you know, as in where you're at right now, or even today, or-

Lili Reinhart 1:14:34 My current purpose in life

Jay Shetty 1:14:35 ... and, and, and the reason why I ask that is because I believe that, you know, when you're healing, when you're growing, when you're going through all these journeys, like, there's somewhat of an intention-

Lili Reinhart 1:14:45 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:14:45 ... if you will.

Lili Reinhart 1:14:46 Mm-hmm.

Jay Shetty 1:14:46 What is your intention, then, if that's easier?

Lili Reinhart 1:14:48 My intention, and I've actually had this intention for a very long time, and I, I, I don't really believe that, you know, when you make a birthday wish, if you, you don't tell, don't tell someone your wish, you know? [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:15:01 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 1:15:01 Like, I, ever since I can remember, every time I've seen a shooting star, blown out birthday candles, my wish always has been I wanna be happy.

Jay Shetty 1:15:13 Mm.

Lili Reinhart 1:15:13 And I, my intention is to find true happiness and, and peace with myself.

Jay Shetty 1:15:25 Mm.

Lili Reinhart 1:15:26 And that is my purpose-

Jay Shetty 1:15:29 Yeah

Lili Reinhart 1:15:29 ... right now, to, to find that. And that's a big task, but, um, but it is, but that's the, that's the intention. And, and too, I find it so, the spiritual journey has, has been so encouraging to me because once you start, you never stop.

Jay Shetty 1:15:48 Mm.

Lili Reinhart 1:15:48 It's, it's not something that one day you're gonna go, "I'm healed. I'm good."

Jay Shetty 1:15:51 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Lili Reinhart 1:15:51 "I'm done."

Jay Shetty 1:15:52 "I'm done," yeah.

Lili Reinhart 1:15:53 It's truly a, for the rest of my life I will be seeking out growth, and that is so, I'm so happy about that.

Jay Shetty 1:16:01 So liberating.

Lili Reinhart 1:16:02 It is.

Jay Shetty 1:16:02 Yeah.

Lili Reinhart 1:16:02 I'm like, I will always, there's always more things to learn. There's always something else to explore within myself.

Jay Shetty 1:16:10 Mm-hmm.

Lili Reinhart 1:16:10 And that is so exciting-

Jay Shetty 1:16:13 Yeah

Lili Reinhart 1:16:13 ... and wonderful.

Jay Shetty 1:16:14 Yeah. I love that. I, um, you're so right. Like, the feeling of something ending or figuring something out is where all the pressure comes.

Lili Reinhart 1:16:21 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:16:21 Right? When you're trying to complete something, or you're trying to end something, you're trying to get something over the finish line, like, that's where all the stress and pressure and intensity comes from. Whereas when you say, "Well, I'm pretty much gonna live with this." I had someone the other day ask me, actually, it's just jogged my memory, someone said to me, they were like, "Well, how do I forget my past so I can move forward?" I was like, "You probably won't-

Lili Reinhart 1:16:46 No

Jay Shetty 1:16:46 ... forget your past."

Lili Reinhart 1:16:47 No.

Jay Shetty 1:16:48 "And it's probably not a useful place to put your focus-

Lili Reinhart 1:16:51 [laughs] Right

Jay Shetty 1:16:51 ... in trying to forget your past."

Lili Reinhart 1:16:53 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:16:53 And knowing you'll never forget it liberates you, and then you can actually move forward-

Lili Reinhart 1:16:58 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:16:58 ... and keep developing. And I find that sometimes our fixation's on completely the wrong target.

Lili Reinhart 1:17:03 I agree.

Jay Shetty 1:17:04 And so we spend all this time trying to forget something-

Lili Reinhart 1:17:06 Yeah

Jay Shetty 1:17:06 ... not, and knowing that pretty much none of us can actually physically do that.

Lili Reinhart 1:17:10 Well, that's what I f- I feel about our conversation. I'm like, damn, I truly have been thinking I need to find myself, and now I am, oh, I actually need to just create it.

Jay Shetty 1:17:19 Yeah.

Lili Reinhart 1:17:20 So that's been-

Jay Shetty 1:17:21 Yeah.

Lili Reinhart 1:17:21 Thank you for that. That has been a-

Jay Shetty 1:17:23 Well, thank you. Well, you led us there

Lili Reinhart 1:17:24 ... impactful-

Jay Shetty 1:17:25 Yeah

Lili Reinhart 1:17:25 ... thing.

Jay Shetty 1:17:27 Well, you led us there.

Lili Reinhart 1:17:28 Well.

Jay Shetty 1:17:28 [laughs]

Lili Reinhart 1:17:29 We, we got there together. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:17:30 [laughs] We got there together. All right, now we'll go to the Final Five.

Lili Reinhart 1:17:32 Okay.

Jay Shetty 1:17:32 These have to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum.

Lili Reinhart 1:17:35 Okay, one word-

Jay Shetty 1:17:35 That's it

Lili Reinhart 1:17:36 ... to one sentence. I got you.

Jay Shetty 1:17:36 One sentence is, I don't know what the official breakdown is, maybe seven words. I don't know, I'm making it up.

Lili Reinhart 1:17:40 Okay, okay.

Jay Shetty 1:17:41 All right. So what is the best advice you've ever received?

Lili Reinhart 1:17:45 I will say my dad always told me growing up, "Find a job that makes you happy. Have a career in something that makes you happy. It makes the world of a difference."

Jay Shetty 1:17:53 That's great.

Lili Reinhart 1:17:53 Yep.

Jay Shetty 1:17:54 Uh, second question: What is the worst advice you've ever heard or received?

Lili Reinhart 1:17:57 Probably don't cry.

Jay Shetty 1:18:00 Yeah. Question number three, uh, something special that your mom did for you when you called her all those times, something that you remember that stood out.

Lili Reinhart 1:18:09 I think just her telling me that she would be there whenever I needed her.

Jay Shetty 1:18:14 Mm.

Lili Reinhart 1:18:14 Sometimes just hearing that is so calming.

Jay Shetty 1:18:18 Mm.

Lili Reinhart 1:18:18 So her, her reassurance that, "You can text me when you need me."

Jay Shetty 1:18:22 Mm.

Lili Reinhart 1:18:22 Okay. Thank you.

Jay Shetty 1:18:24 Absolutely. I love that. Uh, question number four, something you think people misunderstand about you if they don't know you deeply.

Lili Reinhart 1:18:32 I think my outspokenness, I think is sometimes misinterpreted as ignorance, w- whereas, or attention-seeking, whereas I just sometimes can't keep my thoughts to myself. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:18:52 [laughs] Yeah.

Lili Reinhart 1:18:53 But it's never from a bad place.

Jay Shetty 1:18:54 Yeah.

Lili Reinhart 1:18:55 It's from a place of let's have a conversation, not this is my opinion and it's right. It's, no, I'm just trying to add my bit to the conversation. Whether it's helpful or not-

Jay Shetty 1:19:03 Yeah

Lili Reinhart 1:19:03 ... it's gonna be there. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:19:05 [laughs] I love that. And fifth and final question, which we ask every guest since day one, is if you could create one law in the world that everyone had to follow, what would it be?

Lili Reinhart 1:19:15 One law?

Jay Shetty 1:19:16 Yeah. Could be anything.

Lili Reinhart 1:19:18 [sighs]

Jay Shetty 1:19:18 Take your time. Take your time. This is a-

Lili Reinhart 1:19:20 Okay, one law that anyone had to follow. The law that I would create is you are not allowed to tell another human being what they can and cannot feel, period.

Jay Shetty 1:19:32 That's a great one. We've never had that mentioned.

Lili Reinhart 1:19:34 Oh, okay, good.

Jay Shetty 1:19:34 That's a-

Lili Reinhart 1:19:34 I was like, oh, people have probably said that before.

Jay Shetty 1:19:35 No, no, no, no.

Lili Reinhart 1:19:36 Yeah.

Jay Shetty 1:19:36 That's, and it's, and it's completely aligned with, with this episode.

Lili Reinhart 1:19:40 Yeah. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:19:41 Uh, everyone, Lili Reinhart, so grateful to have had this amazing conversation with you.

Lili Reinhart 1:19:46 Yeah, thank you so much.

Jay Shetty 1:19:46 I could talk to you for hours. We have talked. It's, it was so much fun getting to know you, and honestly, hearing about your journey in such a intimate, vulnerable way was so special for me personally.

Lili Reinhart 1:19:56 Yeah, for me as well.

Jay Shetty 1:19:57 Uh-

Lili Reinhart 1:19:57 Thank you. I've been so looking forward to this.

Jay Shetty 1:19:58 Oh, no, thank you. I had such a great time. And everyone who's been listening or watching back at home, I wanna make sure that you share what stood out to you. I think there were so many incredible things that Lili mentioned, genuinely, so many amazing points, so many insights, so many great reflections that she had. And I love knowing what connected with you because, and I know she'd love to know too.

Lili Reinhart 1:20:21 I would love to know. [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:20:21 She, she's nodding along, if you're not watching. Uh, she'd, she'd love to know too, so please do tag us on Instagram, on TikTok, on Twitter. You're allowed.

Lili Reinhart 1:20:28 [laughs]

Jay Shetty 1:20:29 Uh, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, like, do tag us to let us know what stood out, what was the point, what was the part, because this is one of those ones that I think you're gonna listen to a few times. And as I said before, there are moments in this episode that I want you to repeat and listen to over and over again, maybe multiple times a week, because that repetition to hear that message again is what really gives us that permission to do it in our lives. Lili, any final words, any thoughts, anything you wanna share?

Lili Reinhart 1:20:55 [sighs] Just thank you. Thank you for having a space to talk about things that I, two years ago, didn't know were things to talk about. So I'm very grateful to have s- come into this world of wellness, genuinely, and, uh, that you create this environment for the conversation.

Jay Shetty 1:21:14 Thank you. I, I deeply appreciate that.

Lili Reinhart 1:21:15 Of course.

Jay Shetty 1:21:16 Thank you.

Lili Reinhart 1:21:17 Thank you. [upbeat music]

Jay Shetty 1:21:17 If you want even more videos just like this one, make sure you subscribe and click on the boxes over here. I'm also excited to let you know that you can now get my book, Think Like a Monk, from thinklikamonkbook.com. Check below in the description to make sure you order today.