WORLD LEADING THERAPIST: #1 Mistake People Make in Love (20+ Years as a Therapist Taught me THIS!)

When was the last time you felt truly at ease with someone? Do you feel that kind of ease often, or was it rare? In this special live episode recorded at the DAR Constitution Hall in Washington, D.C., Jay sits down with bestselling author and therapist Lori Gottlieb to explore the hidden dynamics that shape our relationships. Together, they unpack why so many of us feel the need to “perform” for love and how fear of rejection, perfectionism, and old emotional patterns can quietly erode connection. Lori shares how true intimacy begins with acceptance, not just of our partners, but of ourselves, and why showing up authentically is the only way to feel genuinely seen. In this interview, you'll learn: How to Stop Performing for Love How to Create Emotional Safety in a Relationship How to Let Your Partner Be Vulnerable How to Build Connection Through Acceptance How to Communicate Without Getting Defensive How to Balance “Me Time” and “We Time” How to Love Without Trying to Fix What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 00:54 Earning Love Through Real Connection 03:16 Why You Should Speak Up Early 06:51 Creating a Safe Space for Vulnerability 11:20 Can You Love Someone Without Loving Yourself? 13:55 How Acceptance Strengthens Your Relationship 20:37 Compatibility vs. Chemistry: What Matters More? 25:07 Do Couples Need Individual Therapy Too? 28:05 A Live Couples Therapy Session 44:06 Communicate Clearly Not Through Assumptions 47:08 Healthy Ways to Approach Conflict 51:28 Understanding the Many Forms of Love 57:46 Are Both of Your Needs Being Met? 01:01:44 Learning to Embrace and Communicate Differences Episode Resources: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiIETTq2It3OzW8_WYRPTyQ https://www.instagram.com/lorigottlieb_author/ https://lorigottlieb.com/ https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dear-therapists-with-lori-gottlieb-and-guy-winch/id1523340696 https://www.instagram.com/jayshetty https://www.facebook.com/jayshetty/ https://x.com/jayshetty https://www.linkedin.com/in/shettyjay/ https://www.youtube.com/@JayShettyPodcast http://jayshetty.me

Jay ShettyhostLori Gottliebguest

Oct 29, 20251h 5mWatch on YouTube ↗

EPISODE INFO

Released: October 29, 2025
Duration: 1h 5m
Channel: Jay Shetty Podcast
Watch on YouTube: ▶ Open ↗

EPISODE DESCRIPTION

When was the last time you felt truly at ease with someone? Do you feel that kind of ease often, or was it rare? In this special live episode recorded at the DAR Constitution Hall in Washington, D.C., Jay sits down with bestselling author and therapist Lori Gottlieb to explore the hidden dynamics that shape our relationships. Together, they unpack why so many of us feel the need to “perform” for love and how fear of rejection, perfectionism, and old emotional patterns can quietly erode connection. Lori shares how true intimacy begins with acceptance, not just of our partners, but of ourselves, and why showing up authentically is the only way to feel genuinely seen. In this interview, you'll learn: How to Stop Performing for Love How to Create Emotional Safety in a Relationship How to Let Your Partner Be Vulnerable How to Build Connection Through Acceptance How to Communicate Without Getting Defensive How to Balance “Me Time” and “We Time” How to Love Without Trying to Fix What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 00:54 Earning Love Through Real Connection 03:16 Why You Should Speak Up Early 06:51 Creating a Safe Space for Vulnerability 11:20 Can You Love Someone Without Loving Yourself? 13:55 How Acceptance Strengthens Your Relationship 20:37 Compatibility vs. Chemistry: What Matters More? 25:07 Do Couples Need Individual Therapy Too? 28:05 A Live Couples Therapy Session 44:06 Communicate Clearly Not Through Assumptions 47:08 Healthy Ways to Approach Conflict 51:28 Understanding the Many Forms of Love 57:46 Are Both of Your Needs Being Met? 01:01:44 Learning to Embrace and Communicate Differences Episode Resources: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCiIETTq2It3OzW8_WYRPTyQ https://www.instagram.com/lorigottlieb_author/ https://lorigottlieb.com/ https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/dear-therapists-with-lori-gottlieb-and-guy-winch/id1523340696 https://www.instagram.com/jayshetty https://www.facebook.com/jayshetty/ https://x.com/jayshetty https://www.linkedin.com/in/shettyjay/ https://www.youtube.com/@JayShettyPodcast http://jayshetty.me

SPEAKERS

Jay Shetty
host
Host of the Jay Shetty Podcast (On Purpose) and author of "8 Rules of Love".
Lori Gottlieb
guest
Psychotherapist and relationship expert known for her therapy and relationship guidance work.

EPISODE SUMMARY

In this episode of Jay Shetty Podcast, featuring Jay Shetty and Lori Gottlieb, WORLD LEADING THERAPIST: #1 Mistake People Make in Love (20+ Years as a Therapist Taught me THIS!) explores stop Performing in Love: Build Safety, Acceptance, and Clear Communication Many people “perform” in relationships to earn love, but lasting love is built by being relational—showing up, listening, and being emotionally generous rather than chasing validation.

RELATED EPISODES