You’re Not Lazy — You’re Just Focused On The WRONG Goal (Fix THIS & Finally Start Winning)

1. 0:00 – 1:13

   Intro

   1. RDRob Dial0:00

      I think if people are like, "I want to accomplish this goal," the very next question is, "Why?" And then go, "Why, why, why, why, why?" If your why is so strong, how it's gonna be done, it doesn't matter. You'll figure out.

   2. JSJay Shetty0:11

      We've got a book out called Level Up, Rob Dial from The Mindset Mentor Podcast.

   3. RDRob Dial0:17

      Not everything that's happened to you in your life is your fault, but whatever it is that you have, it is your responsibility to work through. If I'm gonna feel the feelings of fear, why don't I also just try feeling the feelings of success in getting there? [upbeat music]

   4. JSJay Shetty0:30

      Hey, everyone. I've got some huge news to share with you. In the last 90 days, 79.4% of our audience came from viewers and listeners that are not subscribed to this channel. There's research that shows that if you want to create a habit, make it easy to access. By hitting the subscribe button, you're creating a habit of learning how to be happier, healthier, and more healed. This would also mean the absolute world to me and help us make better, bigger, brighter content for you and the world. Subscribe right now. The number one health and wellness podcast.

   5. SPSpeaker1:07

      Jay Shetty.

   6. SPSpeaker1:08

      Jay Shetty.

   7. JSJay Shetty1:09

      The one, the only Jay Shetty. [laughs]

2. 1:13 – 6:22

   Why You're Failing To Achieve Your Goals

   1. JSJay Shetty1:13

      Why is it that we all want something, we have goals, we have things that we believe are important-

   2. RDRob Dial1:20

      Mm-hmm

   3. JSJay Shetty1:21

      ... but we struggle to focus on them?

   4. RDRob Dial1:23

      Yeah. Well, there's, there's a couple different things. I think the first thing is that we hold ourself back from is we have a lot of fears. And fears, when you really start to dive into them, like you, you mentioned in the beginning of this, like I started talking with you about like the East and, and you started to... I remember you told me in 2017, like, "You should read the Bhagavad Gita." So I literally wrote it, I r- I got it like the next week and read it while we were traveling. And so there was that and, and as I was writing the book, I was like, "What's the thing..." 'Cause the original title of the book was The Psychology of Taking Action. 'Cause I was looking at The Mindset Mentor Podcast. I have 1,400 episodes and I was like, it's just me speaking for almost every single one of them, and I was like, "What do I teach?" Like, "What do, what do people want from me?" And I was like, it's almost all like tips and tricks to understand yourself to take action. Because everybody who's listening to a podcast has the awareness of, "I wanna improve, I wanna get better, I want something different, but how do I do it?" And so I s- I started saying, "Okay, if taking action is what the book's gonna be about, like, why don't people take action in the first place?" And one of the things that, that pops up for people is fear. Like, there just, there's some sort of fear that pops up for them. And I had a conversation with one of my friends who went and lived in the tri- with a, a tribe, a native Brazilian tribe in the middle of Brazil. And so he had to fly into a town, he had to hop on a boat, and go for two days on a boat in the middle of nowhere. And he started talking to me about these things that he called primal fears and intellectual fears. So like a primal fear is, is pain or death is attached to it, and we don't really come up with too many primal fears in our life nowadays. Intellectual fear is like what we deal with all day long, which is, you know, the, the, the fear of rejection, the fear of failure, the fear of, uh, not being accepted, the fear of success. We have all these fears and, and all these fears are made up in our minds. And so I was listening to, I'm pretty sure it was Sadhguru I was listening to, and I was like, I, I put on... and I was driving around in Sedona as I was writing the book. I was there just to try to get my whole mind together. I was by myself writing it, and I was like looking at fears and trying to figure them out, and one thing that he said that like really hit me more than anything else is, okay, I've identified my fears, and the next thing is, well, how do I overcome these fears? And if it's an intellectual fear, the, the fears that exist in our minds, is you can't overcome something that doesn't exist. And so we create, we basically wake up with a boogie-- uh, we wake up in the morning, we create the boogeyman, which is like, uh, the fear of success, the fear of failure, whatever it is. And instead of actually taking the action that we need to and focusing on what it is that we want, we take all of our focus and put it towards trying to overcome this fear, when in reality, the fear doesn't even exist in the first place. And so I think the biggest thing for most people is like, the fear is keeping you k- from, from focusing, um, but there's also like the identity of who you think you are. And one of my favorite things is challenging who I think I am all the time. Like, I love the story, and I put it in the book, of Jim Carrey when he decided to be, uh, in Man on the Moon. And, uh, it was, uh, The Man on the Moon was a movie where he ended up playing, uh, Andy Kaufman. And there was a whole documentary that was done on this, and they curbed it for like 20 years 'cause it was so off the rails of how crazy he went and, and what he did was he... It's a, a documentary called Jim & Andy that's on him playing the role on Man on the Moon. So Andy Kaufman was a guy who was once alive, and the crazy part of Andy, about Andy Kaufman is he also played other characters. So it was Jim Carrey playing Andy Kaufman, who played like Tony Clifton and other characters. But the thing that happened with him was that he would never break character, so he was a method actor. So for four months, he played as this real-life person, and even to the point where his driver that would pick him up in Hollywood and drive him to his house said that whoever he was playing at the time that they stopped recording, whether it was Andy Kaufman, Tony Clifton, he would play that person the entire day when he, when he was driving him home, that night, and he'd pick him up and he was still the same person, not Jim Carrey anymore. And so what happened was he, he ended up like, and it gets kind of w- crazy, where he ends up doing therapy sessions with Andy Kaufman's real daughter and his family to like help them overcome his sudden death. And so what happens is they stop recording four months later, and he's like, "I don't know who I am." And he lost who he was, and he's like, "I don't know my beliefs. I don't know what makes me happy, what makes me sad, what pisses me off anymore." He's like, "I've kind of just lost who Jim Carrey is." And that's kind of like his spiritual awakening that you've seen him go through over the past 20 years, and he realized, "If I can lose Jim Carrey, then who the hell is Jim Carrey?" And he realized that Jim Carrey is just basically a character that he's playing all the time that is completely somebody else, and he could just wake up another morning and act like he's somebody else. And so I think that two of the things that really keep us from focusing on stuff is we get really afraid and fearful of making change or judgment or failure and all that, and the other thing is like who we actually truly think we are, um, will hold us back from taking either the action that we need to or, you know, staying in the exact same position that we're in.

   5. JSJay Shetty6:08

      I love that. I want to go down both of those routes, because- I find them both fascinating for different reasons, and I wanna go down that more spiritual, ethereal journey as well-

   6. RDRob Dial6:17

      Let's do it

   7. JSJay Shetty6:17

      ... because, yeah. But, but before we do that, I wanna make sure that, so if we talk about the

3. 6:22 – 12:08

   Dealing with Intellectual Fear

   1. JSJay Shetty6:22

      fears that people are experiencing, as you said, a lot of the time it's an intellectual fear. It's not real, but it feels so real.

   2. RDRob Dial6:28

      Feels real, yeah.

   3. JSJay Shetty6:29

      Right? Like, when someone says, like, "Oh, I'm really k- scared about what if I get rejected from the job?" Or, "I'm really scared that my partner's gonna leave me." Or, "I'm really scared that I don't feel good enough or smart enough to, to make it in whatever field it is."

   4. RDRob Dial6:46

      Mm-hmm.

   5. JSJay Shetty6:47

      Those feel extremely real.

   6. RDRob Dial6:49

      Yeah.

   7. JSJay Shetty6:49

      How do you process a feeling that feels real even though it may be intellectual?

   8. RDRob Dial6:55

      Yeah. Well, so that's the beautiful thing about being a human, and I think it's, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it's actually in bi- the Bhagavad Gita, it gives an example of a lion attacking you at, a, a tiger attacking you at night. And, you know, one of the examples I give in the book is, is similar to that, where it's like, if you think about it, if you... [clears throat] We've all had this, where we have a really intense dream. Like, you're walking in a forest, whatever it is, and you see a lion. It starts running after you. You know, you, you s- you run from it. You turn, you look over your shoulder. It's getting closer. You're still running from it. You turn to look over your shoulder just as his teeth are about to, to, to dig into you, and you wake up in the middle of the night, and your body didn't move at all. But you're sweating. You're out of breath. Your heart rate is intensely going. And the amazing thing about being a human, you know, they usually say w- in, in any case is what your biggest strength is, is also can be your biggest fault. The thing about humans is that we can project our minds into a future that doesn't exist yet. And so what we can do right now is we can sit here. You know, we're in the studio. Everything is amazing. We have food, water, shelter, clothing, everything. But if I'm like, as a lot of people do, like, if I'm starting a business, right? I can sit here and I can think, "Well, I really wanna start this business." But then I start playing out all of the things that could go wrong, which is what we tend to do. Not what goes right, but what could go wrong. When I project my mind into that future, the crazy part is that my mind and my body are constantly connected, so my, my brain is sending neuropeptides to my body and creating hormones as if that moment is actually happening right now. And so what happens is we tend to, as humans, as a protection mechanism, uh, we tend to project ourself into a future that is fearful, that is scary, and that fearful, scary feeling usually keeps us in the exact same place.

   9. JSJay Shetty8:35

      Mm-hmm.

   10. RDRob Dial8:36

       And so what I always say is, like, if I'm going to imagine the worst that could happen, why don't I at least try to see the best that could happen? And so if I'm going to notice myself, the awareness of, like, I'm really in a lot of fear right now with starting this business, and I'm, I'm going, "Man, what's the worst that could happen?" Well, then I might as well close my eyes and say, like, "What's the best that could happen, and what would it feel like to start this business and to be able to crack a million dollars in a business? And how proud of myself would I be to break a, a million dollars in sales and to be able to build this and travel with my family and provide what I've always wanted to provide? And, and if I'm gonna feel the feelings of fear, why don't I also just try on feeling the feelings of success in getting there?" And so if we notice it's an intellectual fear, f- the first, the first piece that I always say is there's, there's three pieces. There's the awareness of it. Okay, I'm aware that I'm in a state of fear. I need a practice to get myself out of that. Okay, if I notice myself in, in a state of fear, what's my practice to get myself out of it? Well, I'm gonna go ahead and I'm gonna calm down and, and, and take six deep breaths, and I'm gonna connect back to my heart and I'm gonna ask myself, like, "What's the best thing that could happen?" That's the practice to get myself out of it. And then the last piece is repetition. So it's awareness, it's practice, it's repetition. If I do it over and over and over again, eventually I start to rewire myself. So, like, one of the things that, that I found in myself years ago that I didn't like was, was that I judge people, and I didn't... I'm like, man, I love people. Like, I lo- I try to do, I try to be of service as much as I can, but an immediate thought that will come in my head sometimes is, like, judgment of somebody that I don't know, and I just judge them. And I was like, "I don't like that pattern. I wanna change this pattern within myself." It's awareness. I'm, I become aware of what I wanna change. And the, the one, the first time I really did it, I was at a grocery store, and this guy had this, like, Bluetooth, you know, like the long Bluetooth. It was in f- like, as if he was, you know, making cold calls at an office. But he was at the grocery store, and immediately the first thought in my head was judgment. And I always say, "You can't change your first thought, but you can change your second thought." So I notice a judgment as a first thought. Awareness. My practice that I decided for myself was I'm gonna force myself in my head to say three things that I like about this guy. I pause myself in the moment. I found myself in a pattern that I don't wanna be in anymore. What are three things that I like about this guy? And I said it, and then I went on about my day. And I started doing this over and over and over and over again, and one thing that I noticed is that my first thought started changing to less judgment and more acceptance. 'Cause ultimately that's, that's what I really wanna work on, is more acceptance and loving of people and of myself. And so I think it's, um, it's becoming aware of it. Once you're aware of the, the things that you're trying, the pattern you're trying to change, what's the practice that you're going to take yourself down? And then noticing that you're just gonna need to do it over and over and over again. But the, one of the biggest keys is to give yourself grace as you're doing it, 'cause a lot of times we make, we are, become aware, and then we judge ourselves and we beat ourself up for it. So I think it's, it's giving yourself a lot of love and grace and going, "Hey, I've noticed this pattern. Don't worry, we're gonna change it. Let's go on this practice," and just continuing to do that.

   11. JSJay Shetty11:36

       Yeah. It's so well said. I think so often we get scared even of having the thought of what could be possible because we're scared that it can't be possible, and we just find another thing to be fearful of. And I love this idea of what you're saying around transforming your thoughts, because I've definitely... The more and more I've studied books, the more and more I've, I've read and I've thought, I've discovered that all of our failure and success in life is based on our most repeated thought.

   12. RDRob Dial12:05

       Hmm.

   13. JSJay Shetty12:05

       And one of my biggest questions to most people I meet now is,

4. 12:08 – 16:01

   What’s Your Most Repeated Thought?

   1. JSJay Shetty12:08

      "What is your most repeated thought?"

   2. RDRob Dial12:09

      Hmm.

   3. JSJay Shetty12:10

      And most people don't know the answer because they're not aware-

   4. RDRob Dial12:13

      Right

   5. JSJay Shetty12:13

      ... in your words. And a lot of people who do know will say it's something like, "I'm not good enough." I don't like the way I look. I am ugly. Um, whatever, whatever else it may be for them, right? And so we're either aware and it's negative, or we're unaware because it's so subconscious. And I've started to recognize that most of the thoughts we have are not that different. They're the same thought that comes in a different voice, a different tone, a different vocabulary, a different language, but it's the same repetition.

   6. RDRob Dial12:46

      Yeah.

   7. JSJay Shetty12:46

      And so I've started to really think about, what's my most repeated thought?

   8. RDRob Dial12:50

      Yeah.

   9. JSJay Shetty12:50

      And how can I be more, as you are, saying, how can I be more selective about it, and how can I choose it more effectively, rather than just let it be something that's kind of just coming up?

   10. RDRob Dial13:01

       Yeah. And it's, and it's like not... Don't identify with your thoughts. You know, like, one of the things that... I don't remember where I heard it before, but the way I like to think about it, and, and I've heard you say before, even, like, a lot of people say, like, "Oh, I struggle with meditating." And I've heard you say before, where it's not about mastering your thoughts, it's not about making your thoughts go away. It's just becoming aware of your thoughts a little bit more. Bec- because when we close our eyes, you know, about 60% of our brain is visual. We- so it's for visual things, to see. So when we close our eyes, it kind of turns off a lot of parts. And so thoughts usually come up, and we become aware of those. Like, one of the things that I've been doing a lot recently is, like, trying to be in as much silence as possible. Like, I'm just trying to be as much silence as I possibly can, because I feel like that's where a lot of my awareness is and a lot of my answers come from. And so when you sit there, and the analogy that I love, when you start thinking of your thoughts, is it's like sitting on the edge of a mountain, and down below, there's just a road going, that y- that you're looking at. And sitting on the edge of the mountain is like meditating or just sitting in silence and just, you know, looking at your thoughts, and you can watch the cars go by, the thoughts that go by, and not have to be attached to them. You don't find yourself getting sucked into the red car that just went by. You just watch the, the, the cars go by. And that's the way that I try to, to see my thoughts, which is, okay, I'm gonna watch them go by. I'm not gonna connect to them, but I can look at them and be like, is this thought, which, you know about 90% of our thoughts are the same as yesterday. Is this thought helping me in trying to get to where I want to be in life, or is this thought holding me back from trying to get-

   11. JSJay Shetty14:29

       Yeah

   12. RDRob Dial14:29

       ... to where I want to be in life? And if it's helping me, then I want to strengthen it. If it's not helping me, well, then, hey, as that guy on the podcast said, "I can't control my first thought, but I control my second." So, what, what would I prefer my second thought to be?

   13. JSJay Shetty14:40

       Yeah. I th- I think you just hit the nail on the head. Like, that's what it is for me. It's whether you've understood that you're not your thoughts or not, that can be quite hard for people, because I think we're so close to them. But even if you can practice distance through meditation or mindfulness, the real win is being able to look at a thought and say, "Is it good for me?"

   14. RDRob Dial14:58

       Yeah.

   15. JSJay Shetty14:58

       "Or is it not helpful?" Like you just said. Like, I think that is the wisdom of it, that, can I evaluate everything that's repetitive in my mind and ask myself, "Is this useful? Is it helpful? Is it allowing me to move in the direction I want?" Because chances are, a lot of what we're saying is actually doing the complete opposite. And then you go, "Oh, wait a minute. Even though it's interesting, and even though I could get lost in it, I don't want to waste time, and therefore, I'll move in the other direction." You talk about procrastination in this book.

   16. RDRob Dial15:27

       Mm-hmm.

   17. JSJay Shetty15:27

       And that, again, going back to your earlier title, is a block against the psychology of action.

   18. RDRob Dial15:33

       Yeah.

   19. JSJay Shetty15:33

       And we all have a friend, or maybe we are that friend, that constantly puts things off. We postpone. We procrastinate. We say, "I'll do it another year. I want to launch a podcast." Someone's been saying that for two years. There's someone listening right now who wants to start an Instagram page. They put it off for six months. There's someone listening who's like, "Oh, I missed out on the Clubhouse thing, and then I missed out on the TikTok thing, and now I'm missing out on whatever the next thing is." And we procrastinate, hoping that one day will come.

5. 16:01 – 22:08

   What is Your WHY?

   1. JSJay Shetty16:01

      What have you learned about procrastination through your research when you were writing the book that has helped people break that cycle? Because it seems to apply to so many of our lives.

   2. RDRob Dial16:11

      I mean, the thing about it is this: if... I've always, I always like to be, like, very extreme in examples, because if we can go extreme, then it makes a lot of sense. But I always tell people, like, and, and I always say it like, "Hey," I've, I've given this when I used to give a lot of speeches. I would be in front of people, and I'd say, "Hey, what's the chance of you making a million dollars this year? Give me, give me numbers." And everyone's like, "0%, 0%, 0%. 1%." There's always 1%. It's like, "Five," and that's, like, the most it'll get to. And I said, "Okay, I'm gonna give you the most extreme example, but I just want to see what happens. Okay? What's the percentage chance of you making a million dollars this year legally, and if you don't, everyone that you love dies?" And everyone's like, "100%, 100%, 1,000, 1,000%." I said, "What changed? The goal didn't change. The timeframe didn't change. Why you're doing it changed. Would you wake up in the morning if everyone that you loves life depended on it and be like, 'Yeah, well, maybe I should scroll on TikTok for a little while.' No, you'd be like, 'I'm gonna take action immediately.'" And so it doesn't need to be, like, a fear of losing everybody. But what's really behind that is, like, why. Like, why they're, they're doing it. Like, if, if I give a reflection of anyone who doesn't know Jay, like, you're one of the hardest-working people I've ever met. But you have a really strong why, right? And that's, like, one of the best parts about it, where it's like, when I see Jay, I'm like, "This guy has... He, he has this internal feeling of, like, I want to change the world." And you work so hard trying to do it, and that's the, the... one of the most beautiful things about you, is, like, you're wanting to change the world, and you have a really strong why to it. And I think that if most people could figure out, like, "Oh yeah, well, I want to do this thing," why do you want to do it? And my, my very first one-on-one coach, um, used to say to me, he would say, "What's your why? What's your why? Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this?" He would, like, hammer it home in my head. And I was like, "Why do you ask this so much?" And he would always say, "Because if your why is strong enough, your how will reveal itself." If you know why you want to do something, how it's gonna be done, you'll figure out. It doesn't matter. Things are gonna get in your way. There's gonna be obstacles. There's always gonna be obstacles. There's always gonna be challenges. There's always gonna be moments of like, "I don't know if I can do this." But if your why is so strong, it's like, "I don't care what comes up in front of me. I'm gonna get it done." Like, most people, they want to be motivated, and I have come to, to hate the word motivation, because motivation's so fleeting. Like, we can wake up, and we can listen to a podcast, or we can get... you know, read something and be motivated. And then something can happen to us, and it's gone. ... it just disappears. What I wanna be is I wanna be driven. Like, when you see a driven person, like, you see it in their eyes, like yeah, they're not stopping. And the difference between a motivated person and a driven person is that the driven person has this why that they want to see have happen in the world or in their life or for their family. And so I think if people are like, "I want to accomplish this goal," the very next question is why.

   3. JSJay Shetty18:57

      Mm.

   4. RDRob Dial18:57

      And then go why, why, why, why, why, and go deeper into it. Um, an example I give in the book is I had a, a coaching client years ago, like eight, nine years ago, and he was like, "Rob, I wanna make $100,000 this year. I've never made it." And I was like, "Why?" And I took him through s- what's called seven levels of why. Just keep asking why, why, why, why, why. And, um, it went from, "I wanna make $100,000 a year 'cause I've never done it before" to the eventual thing was he, uh, had just got into a divorce a couple years ago. Both of his young children lived in a bad part of town with his ex-wife. He wanted to regain custody because he was afraid that both of his children would be killed in a drive-by, and he was so terrified of it that that was his actual true why. And so it wasn't... Uh, the motivation, I, I didn't have to talk to him and say, "Hey, you know, how close are you to make $100,000 this year?" I said, "Hey, how close are you to providing more safety for your children this year?" 'Cause he wanted them to move in with him, he wanted to be able to provide for them, and to make sure that they were safe. And so I think that if we just ask ourself, "Why do I truly want to accomplish this goal?" it kinda reveals itself, and it makes it a lot easier to take the action.

   5. JSJay Shetty20:00

      Yeah, for sure. I mean, I, you know, and I appreciate all the kind words, but I can definitely say the only thing that's kept me going is my why-

   6. RDRob Dial20:06

      Yeah

   7. JSJay Shetty20:06

      ... because I think there are so many things that either make you wanna give up or slow down or become lazy or complacent.

   8. RDRob Dial20:14

      Of course.

   9. JSJay Shetty20:14

      And when I look at it, and someone asked me this. I was, I was sitting with an- with another creator end of last year, and he was just like to me, "Jay, why do you even do anything anymore? Like, what, what's the point? Like, it seems like you, you're good. Like, why do you need to do anything?" And I was like, "We've just got to the start of everything." [laughs]

   10. RDRob Dial20:30

       [laughs]

   11. JSJay Shetty20:30

       Like, I just got to the beginning of where I need to be.

   12. RDRob Dial20:32

       Yeah.

   13. JSJay Shetty20:32

       I was like, we've just got to a point where we can connect-

   14. RDRob Dial20:35

       Mm

   15. JSJay Shetty20:35

       ... with lots of people.

   16. RDRob Dial20:36

       Mm-hmm.

   17. JSJay Shetty20:37

       But we need to give people the step-by-step process to transform their life, and now we can take them on the journey because people are listening, they're engaged, we have a community, we have a connection with people. But when I started out, we didn't have any of that. So I see it as we just got to the start-

   18. RDRob Dial20:53

       Right

   19. JSJay Shetty20:53

       ... of where I wanna be because... And, and it was just interesting to me that so many people struggle to find their why, and I think it's because we don't... No one's... And you just said your coach helped you do it. It was same with me. My art teacher at, from age 11 to age 18, he was my art teacher at school, and every time I would paint something or draw something or do a collage or a graphic design, and whatever I'd do, the first question he'd ask me is, "Why did you do it?"

   20. RDRob Dial21:19

       Hmm.

   21. JSJay Shetty21:20

       And I'd be like... 'Cause it- my initial response was, "'Cause it looks good." Like, that, you know, I was a kid. What do I know? And he'd be like, every year he'd be like, "Why did you do it?" And I'd be like, "Oh, 'cause this color matches with this color." And then he'd be like, "Why do you do it?" And I'm like, "Oh, because it reveals the metaphor that I think this is about." And then he'd be like, "Why did you do it?" And I'm like, "Because that's how I'm feeling right now. I'm trying to ex-" And every year he would ask me, it would reveal more and more layers of my psyche in a similar way, and again, I've owed it to someone in my life who pushed me to ask the question why, same as you. And so I think what we're both saying is please ask that question to yourself. But what if someone asks that question and they feel stuck, and they kind of go, "I've asked it, but it's kinda just like, just want a nice house. Like, I just want a nice car. I just, I just kind of wanna, you know" Like, I, it's not that deep, and I think you're right. Like you said, we don't have a lot of primal fears.

6. 22:08 – 27:30

   Overcoming the Fear of the Unknown

   1. JSJay Shetty22:08

      Like, some people who are listening right now will have fears of survival, and that is driving them, and they are working hard, and they are pushing. And at the same time, we'll have people who are, like, driven, but they're like, "I'm not driven enough because I haven't got anything to be that scared about-

   2. RDRob Dial22:20

      Right

   3. JSJay Shetty22:20

      ... or that worried about." What, how did that person discover their why?

   4. RDRob Dial22:24

      Yeah, I think for me it's like my life was never terrible or, you know, like, when I, when I started the, the-

   5. JSJay Shetty22:30

      Agreed, yeah

   6. RDRob Dial22:31

      ... yeah, when I started the podcast-

   7. JSJay Shetty22:32

      Same

   8. RDRob Dial22:32

      ... The Mindset Mentor, like, I was at a point in my life where I was making a whole bunch of money, and I was 27 years old, and I was making 250 grand a year, and I was working from home, and everything was great, but I felt like I was slowly withering away. And I could see what the future was going to be while I was there, and I said, "Okay, if I do this for another five years, and I'm 32 years old and I'm still doing this, or I have my manager's job, is that gonna fulfill me?" And it actually gave me more anxiety to think about having my manager's job. And then I sat there and I thought, "Okay, well, like, I really wanna do this podcasting thing. It seems to be going pretty well. I wanna coach people. I wanna help people." And, um, I also at the same time was, like, starting an Amazon business and trying to make money online and do that. And so I thought about it and I asked myself, "Okay, if I fast-forward five years from today, do I wanna be the person that's in sales management like I'm doing now, in consulting? Do I wanna be the guy that's selling stuff on Amazon and, you know, incredible Amazon business person, or do I wanna be the guy that's coaching people and helping people change their lives?" And the immediate answer was very clear: coaching people and changing their lives. And I was like, "Okay, well, that feels like it's the path." And then immediately comes up is all kinds of fear 'cause I don't know what I'm doing. Like, back in the day, 2015, nobody made any money in podcasts. I didn't have any idea of how to grow a business, any of that type of stuff. But what was important to me was, number one, when I fast-forwarded into the future, the futures that I didn't want seemed way more painful than trying the unknown and what could be if I did take the path. And so that was, that became more of a fear, like the fear of judgment, the fear of putting myself out there, other people's opinions. It was there. It's still there, and I don't know if you ever get past it, but you just kind of get more used to it. But the fear of being in the exact same position, working the same job, maybe making a little bit more money doing this for every day until the day I die was terrifying for me.

   9. JSJay Shetty24:23

      Yeah, yeah. I remember that.

   10. RDRob Dial24:23

       That was, that was a fear. And I was like, "Well, then this path of the unknown isn't as scary, and so I might as well take this path of the unknown." And I'll, I'll be fully transparent. There was, um, I shared this on, uh- Like, one other time, I think, there was a moment in 2015 where, uh... I, I started the podcast in August of 2015. November of 2015, I was feeling, like, a whole lot of fear, and I was like, "I might have to go back and work for someone else again." And it was just, fear was so in my head, and I was like, "I gotta go back to making money. I got a new house. I got a mortgage. I don't know how I'm gonna do this. I'm not making any money doing this." My sister came out to me, and I believe, you know, if you're silent, the messages are always there. If you're looking, the messages are always there. My sister, I was at her house, um, and she goes, "Hey, have you ever seen this box of Dad's stuff?" And I was like, "No." And she brought out... My, my father was an alcoholic. He passed away when I was 15 from his alcoholism, and she brought out this box, and it was, like, his glasses. There was a, a T-shirt of his. Um, it was his watch, and the other things were a bunch of letters. My dad was in jail for a little while, uh, for multiple DUIs, and they put him in jail, and he would write letters to us. And, um, and he wrote a letter to my sister on her 19th birthday, and I was reading this, you know, 2015, so he would've wrote it to her in 1999, and the very last line was, "I hope you live your life with courage, love, and laughter." And I read it, and it was like the universe warped, and I was like, "Oh, he wrote this for me." Like, there was a moment where I was like, he wrote this to my sister, but the universe is giving this message through my dad because I need to hear this right now. 'Cause I'm in so much fear, and the very first line is courage. "Live your life with courage, love, and laughter." And I was like, "I gotta commit." Like, I, I, I... This has to be the thing. I've gotta make a decision, and when you look at the root word of decision, it's decidere, which means to cut off. I'm going to cut off all other options. You know, I'd heard, like, Will Smith say there's no reason to have plan B 'cause it distracts from plan A. Like, it's gotta be the thing. And I was like, "Oh my God, I gotta commit to this thing. I can't have any more feelings of, like, I'm gonna go back to working for someone else. Like, this is my life path. I'm either gonna succeed at it or I'm gonna die trying." And I was like, "I don't know what to do." I was like, "I'm gonna get this tattooed on my arm." So I literally have, "Live your life with courage, love, and laughter" tattooed on my arm, my very first tattoo I ever got. But it was like, for me, people always think, like, when you make a decision, the fear disappears. Like, I wish that I could do these things, but it's like, it's always there, but you've gotta learn that, like, the fear is always gonna be there. But my bigger fear is getting to the end of my life and having not done this, having not tried to help people. You know, like, being in the room with, with my father after he passed away when I was 15 years old and realizing, 'cause he was the first person I ever met that passed away, I'm going to be there one day, and I saw it. I was like, "Oh, yeah, that's... I'm gonna..." He, he was a dreamer, and he was an amazing person, but he didn't do what he wanted to do. I am not going to live that life. I'm going to create what I want to create, and now I have all of the other fears that everyone else has, but my biggest fear is getting to the end of my life and not having tried or not having at least gone for it.

7. 27:30 – 31:48

   Going for the Things You Aspire

   1. JSJay Shetty27:30

      Yeah, that's... Uh, I love hearing that, and you've reminded me of a great speech that Jim Carrey gave, funnily enough, and he talked about how his dad, I believe his dad, and I could be getting this wrong, but he said that his dad was an accountant.

   2. RDRob Dial27:43

      Mm-hmm.

   3. JSJay Shetty27:44

      And he did that to be safe, and he said that when he was young, his dad got made redundant from his safe job.

   4. RDRob Dial27:51

      Right.

   5. JSJay Shetty27:52

      Jim Carrey said that in life, you are probably gonna fail at something you don't love-

   6. RDRob Dial27:57

      Mm.

   7. JSJay Shetty27:57

      -so you might as well try something you do love.

   8. RDRob Dial28:00

      Right.

   9. JSJay Shetty28:00

      Like, this idea that I'm choosing the safe option or I'm choosing something that my parents thought my family wanted or I'm choosing something I think is secure, even that's unstable and uncertain. And so the uncertainty that you pursue actually is less fearful-

   10. RDRob Dial28:16

       Yeah

   11. JSJay Shetty28:16

       ... because you're on top of it. You're aware, and I think that's, that's one of the biggest habits that I think's changed my life, is that I stopped believing and accepting that I would get to a place where I no longer had to use my brain.

   12. RDRob Dial28:30

       Mm.

   13. JSJay Shetty28:31

       Right? Like, I think we all believe subconsciously somewhere that there's a paycheck, there's a bank balance, there's a home, there's a fashion, there's a partner that means from that point on, I don't have to think about anything-

   14. RDRob Dial28:47

       It's all good. Everything is perfect

   15. JSJay Shetty28:48

       ... because it's all good.

   16. RDRob Dial28:49

       Right.

   17. JSJay Shetty28:49

       And my... I'd say my best habit in life is recognizing that that is the biggest myth that we've been sold, and I just don't accept it, and I'm okay that my life requires constant work ethic and effort and awareness and being astute and being conscious because that is what's actually being demanded by this world. A uncertain world forces you to be conscious.

   18. RDRob Dial29:14

       Yeah.

   19. JSJay Shetty29:14

       But if you're unconscious in an uncertain world, that's leading to a really dangerous place.

   20. RDRob Dial29:20

       Sure.

   21. JSJay Shetty29:21

       And but I think we're waiting for that moment where we can just not be conscious because it's so much hard work, but to your point, it's way harder work being unconscious-

   22. RDRob Dial29:28

       Oh, yeah

   23. JSJay Shetty29:29

       ... because the amount of unconscious issues that arise are numerous.

   24. RDRob Dial29:34

       I think there's, like, a lot of wisdom in what you said because a lot of people would rather just be like, "Well, let me get to this destination. Once I'm there, everything becomes better."

   25. JSJay Shetty29:42

       Hey, I want that too. [laughs]

   26. RDRob Dial29:43

       [laughs] I, I, I do too, right? And I, I thought that for a long time, and, and it's interesting, the, the journey that I've had is, you know, um, I always wanted to make money because I thought money was gonna give me what I needed. It would give me that safety and security that I never felt as a child. And then I got to a goal that I wanted to get to, and I realized I feel exactly the same as I've always felt. I don't feel any different. I don't feel any more secure. I don't feel any happier. I don't feel any more loved. And what I realized was I thought that the achievement, the recognition from other people, the money in my bank account, the buying cool stuff would fill... What I actually f- thought was and, and consciously now know is I thought that all of those things would fill a void that was inside of me. And what I realized is what I was searching for from the external world is actually what I was searching for for myself. And so the reason why I spend so much time in silence nowadays, I'll just go out on my porch and I'll just sit there for a couple hours, is because I'm trying to fill- ... the void that I have, have created through life and through patterns and through heartbreaks and through n- all of the things that happened in my childhood, and I'm trying to be there as the 38-year-old man for the nine-year-old boy that's still healing. And what I've realized is that none of the material things, anything externally, will ever give me what I was ever searching for. Everything I've always searched for in the external was what I've been searching for for myself. And so I don't... I 100% agree with you, I don't think there's any destination we ever get to. I think I'm constantly going to overcome more things every single day and, you know, if I live to 100, I, I would be so lucky, and another 62 more years, I don't expect that I'm gonna get to the end of my life and be like, "I, uh, I figured it out."

   27. JSJay Shetty31:22

       [laughs]

   28. RDRob Dial31:22

       I think the beautiful thing part, part about it is I think that I was given this, this need for achievement to realize that it doesn't change anything, because the path of wanting to achieve and doing it through business and doing it through growing and all that stuff has actually lit up inside of me, um, a spiritual journey that wouldn't have been there had I not wanted to go for those things.

   29. JSJay Shetty31:46

       Yeah. Absolutely. I heard

8. 31:48 – 39:00

   There Are Different Forms of Addiction

   1. JSJay Shetty31:48

      this, uh... You reminded me of this story that's told about Benjamin Franklin, and Benjamin Franklin had 13 virtues, and these were all qualities that he aspired to develop in his life.

   2. RDRob Dial32:02

      Mm-hmm.

   3. JSJay Shetty32:02

      Simplicity, authenticity, patience, things like that. And when he was on his deathbed, they asked him which one he didn't accomplish.

   4. RDRob Dial32:10

      Mm-hmm.

   5. JSJay Shetty32:10

      And he said it was the 13th one, and they said, "What was that?" And he said, "Humility."

   6. RDRob Dial32:14

      Mm.

   7. JSJay Shetty32:15

      And I love that because I think what you're saying is humility doesn't mean you're meek or weak.

   8. RDRob Dial32:21

      Mm.

   9. JSJay Shetty32:21

      It means I'm able to accept there's always more to learn, I don't know everything-

   10. RDRob Dial32:26

       Yeah

   11. JSJay Shetty32:26

       ... and it's okay. I'm gonna give myself grace for it, too. It isn't a feeling of, "I'm useless because I don't know," it's actually, "I'll become more useful if I recognize there are things that I still have to learn." And, and when I'm listening to you about your spiritual journey and that silence, I'm intrigued by that. Walk us through how you filled that void almost practice-wise-

   12. RDRob Dial32:52

       Mm-hmm

   13. JSJay Shetty32:52

       ... because I, I identify with that fully, and it's funny because we always talked about how our lives were kind of opposite.

   14. RDRob Dial32:57

       Yeah.

   15. JSJay Shetty32:57

       'Cause when I met you, I'd kind of gone down this deep spiritual path-

   16. RDRob Dial33:00

       Right

   17. JSJay Shetty33:01

       ... but had no money.

   18. RDRob Dial33:02

       [laughs] Yeah.

   19. JSJay Shetty33:02

       And you were in the other boat where you had sus- you had sustained yourself financially and created a really good, uh, stable place for yourself, but you were seeking spiritually, and so we're kind of at-

   20. RDRob Dial33:11

       Right

   21. JSJay Shetty33:11

       ... right? We had that conversation-

   22. RDRob Dial33:13

       Yeah, yeah. No, we did

   23. JSJay Shetty33:13

       ... a bit, yeah. And let's talk about that, too, but I'm intrigued as to how does that couple of hours or whatever that time on your porch, like, how do you do that for people? Because I think we, we like the sound of that, but then we get distracted by the next thing.

   24. RDRob Dial33:25

       Yeah. What I've come to find, and I can speak within myself and just what I've seen from other people, but what I've seen within myself is that I've learned a lot of lessons from my dad, um, most of them after his death and me processing things. My father was the way that he was, and he became an alcoholic because he had things in his past that he hadn't worked through, and the thing that, that he hadn't worked through is when he was 12 years old, my father heard a gunshot. He walked into the room, and his dad had just shot himself in the mouth with a shotgun. And so my dad grew up in rural Tennessee. This is 19, you know, 60s when this happened. 197- yeah, 1960s when this happened. There wasn't a whole lot for him to understand it. There weren't podcasts. There weren't books to read like we have nowadays. And so I, I always consciously knew that the... what was happening was that he had not healed his pain. And Gabor Maté says, "Don't ask why the trauma, ask why the pain." And when I first heard Gabor Maté, I was like, "Oh, my God, someone's finally saying what I always thought with my father." And so, you know, we can look at him and say, "Oh, yeah, he's an alcoholic, and he didn't overcome his trauma." The trauma, the way it came up in my life is I became a workaholic, and so I didn't... You know, sometimes we could see someone and say, "Oh, they drink too much alcohol. They do too much drugs. They eat too much food. They..." And we can say, "Oh, yeah, they're, the- that's their, their addiction." The problem and the hard thing in our society is that my addiction of workaholic is rewarded and people look up to it and they're like, "You're doing so great. You're making so much money. All of this is so good." And what I came to find is that my workaholism was just basically me trying to not feel my feelings and to, to not work through and process those things. Um, you know, like scrolling on social media could be that way for somebody. It could be, um, some people are addicted to working out. Some people are addicted to, you know, watching TV, and, and there's so many. Some people are addicted to shopping. There's so many different addictions that we have, and what I've found is that the hardest thing for me was to stop and to just not have to... I was always trying to fill every single moment of my day, always try to be so busy. When I didn't have something to do, I'd find something to do in my business. Business is you can always work all day, every day. And so what I've tried to do and I've, I've built in my business is a lot of systems and processes through... My, my VP of operations has really helped me with this a ton, to be able to take a lot of stuff off my plate so that I have more time to just be. It's my personal belief, uh, that I think that God, the universe, life, whatever it is, speaks in silence, and so if I want those messages, I need to be silent. And what I found for myself is when I would be silent, a lot of anxiety would come up and I'd be like, "You gotta go to the next thing. You gotta go to the next thing. You... This is stupid. You should be doing something else." And then I just realized that what I was trying to do is achieve to fill a void, but I could sit here, and there's been moments where I'll sit on my porch, and I'll literally just start crying, and I'm like, sometimes it's gratitude, "Oh, my God, I can't believe I've been given this life. I can't believe I've had these challenges. I can't believe that I've had this come up, but I'm so grateful for every single aspect of it." And sometimes I just sit there and tear up and I'm like, "I don't know what this is, but this is something my body's releasing, and I need to be okay with this releasing process." Um, you know, there's a, there's a really interesting thing that, that people could look at. There's two videos that are really interesting on, um, on YouTube. One of them is called, uh, Polar Bear Trauma, where they show a video of a polar bear and they, they shoot it with a tranquilizer gun from a, a helicopter. They chase it down in a helicopter, really heightened experience. They shoot it with a tranquilizer gun, so it's still awake, but it's not, you know, completely out, and it starts having a convulsion. It starts seizuring. And e- eventually after it seizures, it's... what it's doing is it's releasing all of the cortisol, all of the adrenaline from its body so that there's no trauma that comes with it. And so then it goes, after it's shaken for a while, [sighs] takes a really deep breath, and it just kinda calms down. Almost identical video of a impala that gets attacked by a jaguar, and the jaguar gets scared off. It starts to convulse, takes a deep breath, and then it moves it. And we're taught in our lives at some point in time not to remove this and to work through these traumas and these feelings. I think children naturally do it through, like, temper tantrums. They move it, and sometimes as adults, we either need to have, like, an adult temper tantrum in safety, uh, where you just take a pillow and you can be angry, you can be mad, you can just scream, you can cuss, you can smash it against the bed. Whatever it is in, in safety by yourself without other people around so you don't scare them as well. And then sometimes it's also just, like, sitting there in silence and, and realizing that what is coming is going. What's... It's like when you squeeze an orange, what's inside of it? Orange juice, 'cause that's what's in it, right? When you sit there and you put pressure on yourself or you give yourself space, what's coming out is actually what's inside, and your body's natural intelligence is trying to let go of it.

   25. JSJay Shetty38:10

       Mm.

   26. RDRob Dial38:11

       And so for me, that's what I've found, is that there's some moments where I'm just, like, incredibly grateful. There's some moments where I'm, I... By doing nothing, Jay, I get so much anxiety, and I'm like, "What is this? Why?" And instead of running from it, um, I get curious. And I think if we could just get more curious, um... Like, I, I've been reading a whole lot of Krishnamurti recently. I love Krishnamurti. And one says he, one thing he says is, is don't know yourself, 'cause knowing is based in the past, and past is based off of memories. Start learning yourself, which is in the present moment. So be present and be like, "What comes up? How can I be curious about this anxious feeling or these tears or whatever it is?" And, and just be, be in the space to just know yourself or get to know yourself a little bit better.

   27. JSJay Shetty38:52

       Yeah, it's so great. I mean, talking about that, that goes, to me, back to what we were talking about at the start of it. You were saying how

9. 39:00 – 42:55

   Our Truth is Always Within Us

   1. JSJay Shetty39:00

      this idea of, well, what if the worst thing happens? What if the best thing happens? And we were talking about this idea of Jim Carrey, and you were saying that there's this experience of, well, I lost who Jim Carrey was. And what we've both talked about is we are so much of what our thoughts are.

   2. RDRob Dial39:15

      Mm.

   3. JSJay Shetty39:16

      And therefore, if you change the thoughts completely, you're almost a completely different human.

   4. RDRob Dial39:19

      Sure.

   5. JSJay Shetty39:19

      So then who are we-

   6. RDRob Dial39:21

      Right

   7. JSJay Shetty39:21

      ... comes back to this know thyself versus learning thyself. Like, what has that spiritual journey taken you on to understanding identity?

   8. RDRob Dial39:30

      I mean, God, Jay.

   9. JSJay Shetty39:31

      And I-

   10. RDRob Dial39:31

       That's, like, as deep as it can go.

   11. JSJay Shetty39:32

       [laughs]

   12. RDRob Dial39:33

       Um, uh, that, that I'm just, uh, I am just a soul that, that chose this life. And, um, one of the things that I like to do is I like to think that I, I chose this life and, and, um, that immediately takes me from being a victim in my life, "Oh, woe is me. My father was this way. He did this to me. My mom did this to me and my teachers acted this way," versus me going like, "I think my soul chose this life because this is whatever is needed for this path that it's on." For, you know, whether it's reincarnation or whether it's heaven or hell or whatever it is that comes after this, I don't know, but I do know, like, right now I do have this life as Rob Dial. And as I get older, the thing I realize is that my body changes. I'm not as fast as I used to be. I'm a lot more sore than I used to be. Like, uh, my body's changing, but my soul is this thing that is just always there. And so the thing that I've, that I've come to realize is that I want to... I don't know if it's gonna sound weird, like, I want to unattach myself from this body, from everything around me, and I wanna try to connect back to what's internally inside of me. And the one thing that I find is that that never changes. Like, that, there's like a, a, a truth that's behind that, and truth is the thing that, that never changes. If something changes or if something can be questioned, it's not true. But there's this feeling that feels like truth inside of me at least, and everybody has their own truth. But for me, my truth is there's something that's behind all of it, and the more that I connect to it, the more peace that I have. Like, I listen to a lot of Ram Dass, and um, one of the things that he said, I was, I was listening to him on the drive over here and, and I listen to his meditation every day, is the only work that you have to do is the connection to your own heart. And so I'm always constantly thinking, "What's in the way of my own heart? What, what material possessions, what things that I want to, to get are in the way of that?" And the reason why I think that it helps is, number one, I've, I've had so much more peace from trying to connect to that, and my relationship with my wife has been so much better because of it, 'cause I'm not blocking her from letting her in. She's experiencing me fully. She's, she sh- starts to be able to open up even more in different ways. I'd be able to experience her more fully. And so for me, it's just, like, connecting to the thing that's behind it that feels like the only thing that's truth. Now, mind you, if, if Rob 15 years ago had heard this, he would be like, "What the hell is that guy talking about?"

   13. JSJay Shetty41:58

       Yeah. [laughs]

   14. RDRob Dial41:58

       It would make no sense. But on this journey, I've just, I've just kind of realized that there's something behind it all, and I wanna try to connect to that something behind it all and see what it is. And so for me, it's like I, I, I like to use myself as a guinea pig. Everything I teach in The Mindset Mentor and the podcast is all stuff that I'm trying within myself. And I, I use it as almost my own therapy sessions, where I'm talking to everybody but I'm talking to myself. I'm reminding myself of all these things. And, um, what I realized is I, I realized that after 15, 19 years of personal development, it's like, you know- Personal development's like this, this, this cup right here, and I feel like my cup in personal development is overflowing. And then I found spiritual development, and I realized, oh my God, it's a lot bigger cup, and it's not even close to being full. Like, it's a bucket, and it needs... It, it's my next thing that I'm working on. So for me it's like the mindset, the working through, like I'm constantly working on this and trying to get better. But for me it's like I wanna connect to myself and see what else is in there.

   15. JSJay Shetty42:51

       Mm. Yeah, for sure. Thank you for sharing that. I mean,

10. 42:55 – 47:13

    Take a Pause to Reconnect with Yourself

    1. JSJay Shetty42:55

       you made me remember a C.S. Lewis statement that says, "You don't have a soul, you are the soul-

    2. RDRob Dial43:02

       Mm

    3. JSJay Shetty43:02

       ... and you have a body."

    4. RDRob Dial43:03

       Yeah.

    5. JSJay Shetty43:03

       And I remember I used to have that written on a little Post-It Note, and I used to look at it every day first thing in the morning. Because I was thinking about this concept of identity, that the first thing 99% of us do when we wake up first thing in the morning is we look in the mirror.

    6. RDRob Dial43:19

       Mm-hmm.

    7. JSJay Shetty43:20

       Usually we say something like, "Ugh, I look tired."

    8. RDRob Dial43:23

       Yeah.

    9. JSJay Shetty43:23

       Or, "Don't like that spot."

    10. RDRob Dial43:25

        Yeah.

    11. JSJay Shetty43:26

        Or, "God, I've put on weight."

    12. RDRob Dial43:28

        Yeah.

    13. JSJay Shetty43:28

        God, whatever it is, right?

    14. RDRob Dial43:29

        Yeah.

    15. JSJay Shetty43:29

        Now all of a sudden we're already in the bodily concept of life, this bodily consciousness, and now you live your whole day thinking about the body. What does the body need? The body needs food, et cetera. And so... And that's natural. Like, that's not unnatural. That's normal. Like, I do that too. But then you're saying that at the same time you've gotta nurture and nourish and connect with this deeper sense. How do you balance the two in a real world where you have responsibilities, you have bills, you have things to do that are connected to the body, but then at the same time we're like, "But you're not this body"? So how, how do you balance, how do you make sense of these two seemingly opposite pursuits?

    16. RDRob Dial44:09

        Yeah, I mean, I'm... The, the thing that I, that I think I would have thought five or 10 years ago was that the more that I get into spiritual development, the less motivated I'll become or the most, the less I will want to achieve. Uh, that hasn't gone away in any sort of way. But what I have found is that I achieve through a place of, of... It's more like I'm not white-knuckling my way through life anymore. I'm not... I can take action and not be so wrapped up in my fears and my limiting beliefs. And so it's not like y- I'm, I'm in the world and, and of the world at the same time, where it's like the soul is here and I get... A- as I'm speaking to you, everything that I say is also something that I struggle with every single day. I have [laughs] not mastered this process.

    17. JSJay Shetty44:53

        Me too.

    18. RDRob Dial44:53

        There'll be times where I find myself just so in the world, and I'm just like stressed, there's things happening, there's this business, where there's... All of this. You know, we've got employees, we're hiring people. There's stuff happening. And then I just take a step back and I'm like, [sighs] it's just a, it's just like a, kind of like a game. Like, take a second. Like, that's... It's all real. That's... It's... I'm not saying it's, it's not true, it's not reality, it's not in front of you. It's all there, but behind it all, if I can connect to, like, a deeper sense that's within me and, and the, the soul that I feel is in there, I'm like, "Hey, man, chill out for a second." Like, it's really not that big of a deal, right? Most things, you know, there are, there are definitely some things that are big deals in people's lives, and there's deaths and there's, there's, um, things that people have to, you know, be in control of and be able to pay bills and all that stuff. All those are real, and they're definitely necessary. But behind it all, you're still there.

    19. JSJay Shetty45:44

        Yeah.

    20. RDRob Dial45:45

        And there's this thing that if I can take myself back and kind of like out of my own head and kind of into my heart, which has been a, a big journey for me because I was... I'm so analytical and was never really taught, like, feelings and how to feel and process emotions. But if I can take myself out of my head and into my heart, what I've always found is that my head is always projecting itself into the future or sometimes projecting itself into the past. But most, for me, like if I sit down to meditate sometimes, it's like all of my to-do list, all of the things that I have to do, and it's projecting itself into the future. So my brain is always somewhere else. My body, it's always here. And so when I notice myself get stressed, I notice myself get anxious, I notice myself, whatever m- feelings I might be feeling, if I can take a couple deep breaths and kind of get back into my body, I'm like, "It's not that bad." Like, you'll fi- you, you have overcome so many things in your life. You'll figure out a way to get through it. And so what I've found is that it's not that I don't take the action. It's not that I'm not, um, wanting to achieve more and more things and be able to have more fun and have more... do all of this stuff in the external world. But when I find myself kind of take a step back and kind of be in my heart, is it makes it a lot easier where I'm not, like, white-knuckling and forcing my way through life. It's almost like I'm allowing life to happen through me, and I don't know how it works and I don't pretend to be smart enough, but things start happening around me that help me in the process of getting to what the, wherever it is that I actually want to truly go.

    21. JSJay Shetty47:12

        Yeah. It's...

11. 47:13 – 51:45

    The Duality of What We Value

    1. JSJay Shetty47:13

       There's this really interesting thing in Eastern traditions. There's obviously this idea of oneness and that everything's one. And then there's this idea of duality, that there's this side and then there's this side. And one teaching that I've really connected with is this idea, idea of simultaneously one and different.

    2. RDRob Dial47:36

       Mm.

    3. JSJay Shetty47:36

       And it sounds complex, but it's actually not. It's this idea that this feels real and, and it can be real, and it is real, and at the same time there is a greater reality. So rather than this feeling of everything's one, everything's the same, or it's disconnected, there's real and fake, it's actually this idea that a lot of things are real, but they're not the full picture. So the idea that today in LA it's like saying the weather's rainy and cloudy. But that's not the weather everywhere, so it's my current reality, but it's not reality across the whole world. And when you start looking at life in that way of there's this reality and then there's this bigger reality, I think that's that zoom out. That's that, let me take a breath. That's that, let, let me look at the inner world as well. And I think what it does is it gives you a certain grace and it gives you a certain detachment, disconnection, but also a recognition of the significance of what you do- ... and the insignificance of it.

    4. RDRob Dial48:32

       Mm. Right. Yeah.

    5. JSJay Shetty48:33

       And both are so needed.

    6. RDRob Dial48:34

       Yeah.

    7. JSJay Shetty48:34

       Like, I believe what I do is significant, and at the same time, it's totally insignificant.

    8. RDRob Dial48:39

       We won't, we won't be remembered in-

    9. JSJay Shetty48:40

       Oh-

    10. RDRob Dial48:41

        ... 1,000 years

    11. JSJay Shetty48:41

        ... and it's so okay.

    12. RDRob Dial48:42

        [laughs] Yeah.

    13. JSJay Shetty48:43

        And but we take it so seriously, and if you only do one or the other, like, if I only see my life as extremely significant, everything's too high pressure.

    14. RDRob Dial48:51

        Oh, yeah.

    15. JSJay Shetty48:51

        Oh, my gosh, I would, I would... It would hurt me, and it would cause me pain if I thought everything I did was of utmost significance.

    16. RDRob Dial48:58

        Right.

    17. JSJay Shetty48:59

        And if I thought my life was insignificant, if I thought my life was irrelevant, that would be really bad for my self-esteem.

    18. RDRob Dial49:05

        Yeah, why do anything?

    19. JSJay Shetty49:06

        I wouldn't be able to function.

    20. RDRob Dial49:06

        Right.

    21. JSJay Shetty49:07

        And so I think it's really interesting because the more and more I'm learning, I'm like, "I have to learn how to hold these two seemingly opposite things," but actually they're so connected and symbiotic, and they're so synchronous because they both have value. Going back to which thought has value, the, the collective thought of my life is significant and insignificant is the most helpful thought.

    22. RDRob Dial49:31

        Oh, my God. It's so good.

    23. JSJay Shetty49:32

        Because thinking I'm significant or insignificant are both unhelpful thoughts.

    24. RDRob Dial49:34

        Oh, my God. That's, uh, you actually just summarized perfectly what I feel like actually has been going through my head for years, which is what I do, I do believe, is so important, and at the same time, I'm like, "None of it matters."

    25. JSJay Shetty49:47

        Yeah.

    26. RDRob Dial49:47

        Right? It's, it's this weird duality that we live in.

    27. JSJay Shetty49:49

        It's so freeing.

    28. RDRob Dial49:50

        But it's so freeing because it, it takes so much pressure off, where it just becomes, like, fun. Like, it's, it's how can I bring more fun into life? Like, when did we lose the, the joy of life and the fun of life that we had as children? When was it programmed out of us, and how can I connect to that child and bring that spirit back in and be like, "Yeah, I'm going to do some amazing things in the world," but without it being stressful, with just with it being fun and with it being something that I can do and it, and it effortlessly flows out of me. Like, I believe that every single person is incredibly creative, and we are, we are creators at the actual core of us, and a lot of us have lost it, and I lost it for years. And so what I think is how can I make the creativity flow out of me in some sort of way and just allow the space for it to happen? And one of the things that happens, and it's not necessarily my, my goal of it, but when I sit in silence, I get ideas that come through, and I'm like, "Oh, man, I don't know how I didn't see this." And that's where they all are. So it's like a lot of times we're trying to force things to happen, we're trying to force creativity, we're trying to force ideas, but sometimes when I get there, I'm like, "Oh, man, yeah, this is the thing I've been searching for." And it's just, I think every person just needs to give themself just a little bit more space to not be on their phone, to not be constantly... You know, and I... And a lot of people have children. Their, their children are up. Can you wake up a little bit earlier, not be on your phone, and just sit in silence and see what comes up? And, and I think that it's really important for people because, um, what you'll notice is exactly what you're saying, which is what we do, like, this life is so important, but it is very insignificant, and that's okay. There's nothing wrong with that. Like, I've... I love watching videos on YouTube about how small the Earth is compared to the rest of the universe, and it stresses my wife out. She's like, "I'm gonna have a panic attack."

    29. JSJay Shetty51:35

        [laughs]

    30. RDRob Dial51:36

        "Why, why do you watch this?" It's 'cause I was like, "I like to remind myself that even though it's all happening and I'm in it, none of it actually truly matters."
12. 51:45 – 56:46

    How Do You Pick Yourself Up?

    1. JSJay Shetty51:45

       Absolutely. And I think when I'm listening to you, there's this feeling that, you know, I feel like I agree with you. I think everyone is a creator. I do believe that creativity flows when we connect with that, but I think sometimes we feel so distracted from it.

    2. RDRob Dial51:59

       Yeah.

    3. JSJay Shetty51:59

       And it's so much easier to pull out our phone. It's so much easier to put on a show in the background. It's so much easier to do all of these. It's so much easier to do all those things at the same time.

    4. RDRob Dial52:08

       Yeah.

    5. JSJay Shetty52:08

       Like, now we're no longer ever with one person. We're with one person, we're both on our phones, and we're watching a show at the same time, and we got our laptops doing work. So you've literally got three screens in front of you, five screens in total, and there's, there's so much distraction, right? We know that. How does a person possibly... And I say this out of, like, compassion and empathy because it's like it requires so much from us-

    6. RDRob Dial52:35

       Right

    7. JSJay Shetty52:35

       ... because everything around us is built for distraction. The foods we're eating, the, the things we drink and consume, the, the stuff that's created around us, it's all to distract.

    8. RDRob Dial52:45

       Yeah.

    9. JSJay Shetty52:46

       So you're fighting, like, almost what feels to a lot of people like a losing battle.

    10. RDRob Dial52:50

        Right.

    11. JSJay Shetty52:50

        What do you do to get, pick yourself back up?

    12. RDRob Dial52:52

        I mean, what's more, I, what's, what's more important than that? You know, like, what's more important than connecting to your true self, to working on yourself? Like, I, I... Why do I... Like, why am I so hardcore on mindset? 'Cause I know how many people are so wrapped up in mi- in their mindset, in their thoughts, in their beliefs, in their patterns that they're stuck in, and what ultimately we all want, I think, is, is freedom, and the way to get through to that freedom is to work on yourself, whatever that looks like for whatever stage someone, uh, is in, you know? And, and I can have, uh, empathy for every person at every stage 'cause I've been through so many stages of, of my process. And, um, I think that it comes back to, like, why are you doing it? What do you want? If, if you're trying to disconnect from your phone, why? You know, like, for me, like, I, I recently deleted Instagram from my phone. I did it last year for a month, felt like it was amazing. The book came out, and I was like, "I gotta get back on. I gotta promote. I gotta make sure things are good." I recently just deleted it again, and now everything that, that I post, everything flows through my team, so I'm- it's not like it's just gone. It's just now I just happen to, to flow th- everything flows through my team. Why did I do that, though? Was because I don't want to live my life on that phone, and the one thing that I noticed is that Instagram was one of the things where I would pick it up, and I would just somehow get to it, and I wasn't even thinking about getting to it. And I was like, "My life is not this little tiny thing. My life is everything that's out here," and so why do I wanna get... Why did I delete it was because I actually want to be in everything. I want to be present with my wife. When we have children, I want to be present with our children. I want to be the most present version of myself as I possibly can, and I can't imagine that I'll get to the end of my life, be 100 years old, and be like, "I wish I would've spent more time on Instagram." I wish I would've spent more time watching Netflix. You know? I, and I have, I've, I've been addicted to all of those things. I'm not, you know, uh, above any of this stuff. But I started looking at myself and saying like, "Is this helping me get to where I wanna be in life? Is it creating more peace in my life?" For me, it was creating way more stress. It was perpetuating these feelings that I'm trying to let go of and tr- trying to work with. And so for me, I think what's important to people is like, if you want to make a change, why do you wanna make the change? And for me, looking at a screen is not as important as actually physically being in front of my wife and giving her what she actually truly deserves, which is 100% of my attention. 'Cause there's been times where I've not given her 100% of my attention. And as I, as we start to have kids and stuff, I don't want to be a distracted parent. I want to be with them. I d- I'll, I'll never sit there and go, "Well, when my kids were kids, y- my kids were children, like, I wish I would've spent more time on Instagram. I wish I'd spent more time watching Netflix." I just think for me, like, the, the, the level of, the, the place I'm at in my life is I want to be as present as possible because I've worked for things, I've climbed ladders, I've gotten to different places. I've realized none of those things fulfilled me in any sort of way. And this journey I've been on in the past, you know, 10 years, seven years ago, and we started talking about the Bhagavad Gita and I started meditating a whole lot more and getting into is I realized, "Oh, these things are bringing me peace." And the more peaceful I feel, the more that it becomes easy to actually achieve and create the stuff that I want to in life. And so for me, the presence and the peace at this point in my life, things might change, I don't know what it's gonna be in five years, are actually the things that are the most important to me.

    13. JSJay Shetty56:17

        Yeah, it's so interesting. I think we feel like being anxious and being, you know, kinda like busy and stuff will actually create the most effectiveness.

    14. RDRob Dial56:25

        Right.

    15. JSJay Shetty56:25

        But what you just said, this idea of if you start from a place of peace, and I think about the... I completely agree with that. If you walk into something with stillness, it gives you clarity, it gives you perspective. You can zoom out, you can zoom in. If you're buzzing around and moving around, you lose all of that. It's all blurry and fuzzy. And I wanna ask you, what's,

13. 56:46 – 1:01:46

    What Life Lesson That Changed You?

    1. JSJay Shetty56:46

       what's a lesson you wish you learned earlier in life?

    2. RDRob Dial56:52

       I think it's that what you're searching for externally, you're actually searching for yourself. Um, I think that's become very apparent to me in the past few years, is, is I was always looking for somebody to give me love, somebody to give me acceptance, to achieve so that I could be accepted. And what I actually truly think is what I was searching for from everyone else was what I was searching for from myself. So a lot of people that are, like I, I, a lot of people I know are people pleasers. They come to me, "Rob, I'm a people pleaser." And it's like they'll change themself to try to get love and acceptance from somebody else. But that's just filling a, you know, it's like a hungry ghost. It just cont- the, the food just goes through the ghost. It doesn't go anywhere. And what we're actually searching for is what we're searching, that, that love and acceptance for ourself. And, um, one of the biggest things that I think I've learned in probably the past two years is I was always trying to grow and change myself because there were aspects of myself that I didn't like and I, I, I resented. And what I've changed it to in the past couple years is I'm going to love every aspect of myself. So there's some parts of Rob that are beautiful, that are amazing, that love people, that want to connect. He- there's, there's some great parts of Rob. There's some parts of Rob also that are very selfish, that are very judgmental, that are, um, a little bit short, not as present as he should be. Instead of trying to change those and hate those, I've actually just tried to love them and realize that the selfish Rob that exists was some sort of thing that he, that was a con- p- part of past conditioning that came up from needing to be selfish as a child for whatever it might have been, whatever reasons it might have been. And I can love that side of me. And what I realize is that if I try to change it, it gets stronger. If I love it and I accept it, it kinda chills out.

    3. JSJay Shetty58:46

       Mm-hmm.

    4. RDRob Dial58:47

       And it doesn't disappear. Like, I'm not like, "Yeah, these parts of me don't exist." It's me looking... Like, internal family systems is a, is a therapy where you look at all parts of you and who you are, and you try to figure out a way to understand how the entire orchestra works together. You know, when I was, when I was writing my book, I was sitting there and I was, I was going so hardcore. Like, you and I come from the world of creating viral videos. I would spend so much time on every single line to make sure it was perfect, right? 'Cause I wanted to make sure like, I've only got 30 seconds or a minute to get the, the message to be as clear and concise as possible. Let me try to make it as perfect as possible. And I used to do a lot of poetry. I used to do a lot of songwriting when I was younger, so I was used to making every line as potent as I could. As I was writing this book, I was like r- 16 rounds of edits in, editing every single piece of it, and there was a part of me that said, it, it said, "Why are you doing this?" Like, "Why are you doing this?" And I was like, "I wanna write a book that helps people and changes people's lives. I want someone to not know what the Mindset Mentor Podcast is, but they walk into Barnes & Noble, they see this book, and they're like, 'Interesting. Let me read it. Let me pick it up,' and they read it, and it changes their life." And then I played devil's advocate and I said, "But you also want it to be successful, don't you? You also want it to be a New York Times best seller so you can have a little badge to put on yourself and say, 'New York Times best seller.' You want it to be this incredibly selling thing because you know if it takes off, you're gonna make great money for a very long time if it's a perennial seller." And I thought to myself, "Okay, can I use that egoic side of me to actually help me create a better book?" And I could. And so what I realized is instead of hating that aspect, it's like a tool in my tool belt. When I need to bring that side of me out, I can bring outside of, that side of me out and say, "You know what? I'm gonna create the best freaking book that I can, or the best podcast that I can, or the best reel that I can to try to impact people." And so it's not about, like, trying to force change on myself. It's about loving every aspect-

    5. JSJay Shetty1:00:40

       Yeah

    6. RDRob Dial1:00:40

       ... of myself, the, quote-unquote, good and bad, even though there is no good or bad. But every aspect of Rob. And if I need to use it, I can bring it up and say, "Hey, Rob, I need this version of you right now," but I'm not going to fight it anymore.

    7. JSJay Shetty1:00:52

       Yeah, yeah. In the monastery, we'd always talk about how the word is, uh, anartha, which means unwanted thing, that seems unwanted-

    8. RDRob Dial1:00:59

       Mm-hmm

    9. JSJay Shetty1:00:59

       ... actually needs to be engaged.

    10. RDRob Dial1:01:01

        Mm.

    11. JSJay Shetty1:01:02

        Like, you need to engage it in the service of doing something higher-

    12. RDRob Dial1:01:05

        Really?

    13. JSJay Shetty1:01:05

        ... for it to be purified.

    14. RDRob Dial1:01:07

        That's awesome.

    15. JSJay Shetty1:01:07

        Like, you can't just cut it out. You can't just-

    16. RDRob Dial1:01:08

        Yeah

    17. JSJay Shetty1:01:08

        ... get rid of it. You can't just hate it to go away.

    18. RDRob Dial1:01:11

        Yeah.

    19. JSJay Shetty1:01:11

        You can't just- ... shame it away. You can't just guilt it away. It has to be engaged in a higher service, i.e., impacting others, helping others, improving your own life, improving the lives of others. Because when it's engaged, then it becomes purified.

    20. RDRob Dial1:01:25

        Mm.

    21. JSJay Shetty1:01:25

        Because if you just ignore it, it will just stay there.

    22. RDRob Dial1:01:28

        Mm-hmm.

    23. JSJay Shetty1:01:28

        And if you try and push it away, it's gonna-

    24. RDRob Dial1:01:30

        Get-

    25. JSJay Shetty1:01:30

        ... push back and get stronger

    26. RDRob Dial1:01:32

        ... excuse me, get stronger. Yeah.

    27. JSJay Shetty1:01:33

        But if you engage it and go, "Yeah, you know what? I do have that in me, but I'm gonna use that tendency to try and help this pe-

    28. RDRob Dial1:01:39

        Yeah

    29. JSJay Shetty1:01:39

        ... help this person do this," that's the only way that it starts to be purified. And so that, that resonates very strongly. Great answer. The other one

14. 1:01:46 – 1:04:54

    Lesson Learned the Hard Way

    1. JSJay Shetty1:01:46

       I wanted to ask you was, what's a lesson you had to learn the hard way?

    2. RDRob Dial1:01:49

       [sighs] Yeah. I think the one that's been the most potent for a long time is you can't do it all on your own.

    3. JSJay Shetty1:01:56

       Mm.

    4. RDRob Dial1:01:57

       Um, for me-

    5. JSJay Shetty1:01:58

       [laughs]

    6. RDRob Dial1:01:59

       ... I don't think I was able to trust people for a very long time. Um, you know, I went to a therapist one time and he had said, "Yeah, you've been, you've been neglected." And I was like, "No, I haven't been neglected." Like, I, I had food, water, shelter, clothing, all these things. And he's like, "No, you were emotionally neglected from your father." And, and I was like, "Oh my God, I, I... that really, like, rings true." But what happened was I had developed this feeling over my lifetime of, "I've got to do it alone. I can't trust anybody. No one else can do it for me." You know, like, there were times when my dad would... Even though he's a... and he was an amazing person. I always tell people, like, I was, I'm so grateful that I had the father that I had. Um, he was... He, he never beat me. He never yelled at me. He never touched me inappropriately. He would just get drunk and fall asleep, and when he fell asleep, he'd forget about me in a lot of different ways, right? So there was that neglect of, like, I might- he would say, "Hey, I'm gonna come pick you up and we're gonna go fishing," 'cause I lived in Florida. And I, you know, would sit on the front porch for an hour, two hours with my fishing pole, and he would just never show up, right? And so there were, there were aspects of that, and I think somewhere along the line I developed this feeling of, like, "No one's gonna help me. I have to do it all on my own." Which there's a piece of that which there is some truth, right? Like, I do have to sometimes step forward and be the person to do it. But for the longest time, I never understood the phrase, "No man is an island," 'cause I was like, "I have done everything by myself." And then I started looking around me and I was like, "No, I haven't." The universe has always been there, giving me everything that I need and every person to help me in some sort of way improve and get better. And, you know, as everything's grown, the podcast has grown, my, my company has grown, all this stuff, we have 30 people on the team. Like, I can't do it on my own. I can't help people on my own the way that I, I wish that I could if I was... I'm not 30 people. I don't have 30 days. You know, they can get done in... We can get done in one day what I could get done in an entire month. And so what's been big for me is, is, um, trusting people to be able to help me and to be able to ask for help, whether that be in a business, but also, like, going to my wife and being like, "Hey, I'm really struggling right now. Like, can you just talk to me for a few minutes?" And knowing that she doesn't think, like, "Oh, he's not man enough," which is a, you know, a fear that I had. Like, oh, if I go to her with my problem, she's gonna be like, "He's not man enough." But for her to be like, "Yeah, let me hold space for you. Let's talk it out." And so I think the biggest thing for me is, like, is learning that I can't do it all on my own. It's okay to... It's actually strength to ask for help. It's strong to ask for help. And, um, and that I need to be better at, at asking for help when I do need it.

    7. JSJay Shetty1:04:29

       Mm. That's a great one. That's a great one I can relate to in so many ways.

    8. RDRob Dial1:04:33

       [laughs]

    9. JSJay Shetty1:04:34

       And, and yeah, i- it strikes a chord for sure, and I think so many of us, you know, both of those questions, think about it. You know, what's taken... What's a lesson you learned the hard way, and what's a lesson you wished you learned earlier?

    10. RDRob Dial1:04:45

        Yeah.

    11. JSJay Shetty1:04:46

        And write them down, because you might forget it. [laughs]

    12. RDRob Dial1:04:50

        Yeah.

    13. JSJay Shetty1:04:50

        And, and you kind of fall back in that cycle often. Rob, we,

15. 1:04:54 – 1:11:04

    Rob on Final Five

    1. JSJay Shetty1:04:54

       uh, end every On Purpose episode with a final five.

    2. RDRob Dial1:04:56

       Okay.

    3. JSJay Shetty1:04:57

       These questions have to be answered in one word to one sentence maximum.

    4. RDRob Dial1:05:00

       Oh my God. Okay.

    5. JSJay Shetty1:05:01

       And so-

    6. RDRob Dial1:05:01

       I'm so wordy. That's a, that's a-

    7. JSJay Shetty1:05:03

       [laughs]

    8. RDRob Dial1:05:03

       I'll do my best. [laughs]

    9. JSJay Shetty1:05:04

       Rob, these are your final five. The first question is, what is the best advice you've ever heard or received?

    10. RDRob Dial1:05:10

        I'll give you the, I'll give you the sentence, and if you want me to explain it, I can, but everything is your fault.

    11. JSJay Shetty1:05:15

        Yeah, you can explain it.

    12. RDRob Dial1:05:16

        Everything is your fault comes back to, like, you are the CEO of your life.

    13. JSJay Shetty1:05:19

        Mm-hmm.

    14. RDRob Dial1:05:20

        I... My very first mentor that I had, I, I paid $500 a month to have my first coach when I was 19, about to turn 20, and we worked together for two years, and we had some great calls. I don't remember any of them. I remember one, and what it was was I had made so many excuses as to why I was late to calls, why I didn't hit my assignments, why I didn't do what I needed to do, and he had this really tough conversation. I mean, he said, "Rob, if a business succeeds, whose fault is it?" And I was like, "I mean, what do you mean?" He's like, "If a business succeeds, all 1,000 employees move into the direction, they s- they have a successful year. Whose fault is it that the person who orchestrated it?" I was like, "The CEO." He said, "If a business fails, whose fault is it?" And I said, "The CEO." He said, "Rob, if you get to the end of your life and it's not what you want it to be and you didn't create the life that you wanted to, make the money that you wanted to, have the success, the love, the happiness, travel to places that you wanted to, whose fault would it be?" And I said, "It'd be my fault." And he said, "If you did create the life that you wanted to, you had the love, the happiness, the abundance, everything that you wanted, whose fault would that be?" And I said, "It'd be my fault." And he said, "The problem with you is you're treating this, treating this life as if you're the victim, and what you need to realize that everything that happens to you is your fault, and that your life won't change until you decide that you want to be the CEO of your life."

    15. JSJay Shetty1:06:29

        I don't know how that would have felt when you heard it at that point. You're-

    16. RDRob Dial1:06:32

        It hurt. [laughs]

    17. JSJay Shetty1:06:32

        Yeah, exactly. With that mindset, like, and I think a lot of people today would find that offensive. They might get hurt by it. They might... What... How did you transfer that energy to be like, "No, this is actually helpful. It's not hurtful"?

    18. RDRob Dial1:06:47

        Yeah. I mean, I was a little bit hurt, but there's... I f- I felt truth. I felt like, yeah, he's right, 'cause in... when I look at the path of where my life was going to go, had I continued to blame everybody else, it wasn't gonna be good. But when I looked at people who, who I knew who took full ownership of their life, one of my, my, uh, probably my first mentor without even it being on purpose, was my uncle Dan, who was an incredibly successful guy. Um, had a bunch of success, but also was incredibly giving, always so loving, and he never blamed anybody else for when his business failed, and he brought it back from, from nothing and rebuilt it. He never blamed anybody else. He was always there for everyone else, but he always took everything as his responsibility. And, you know, it's like not everything that's happened to you in your life is your fault, but whatever it is that you have, it is your responsibility to work through. Will Smith a- also said this, right? Where it's like, "I- it's not my fault that my father was an alcoholic, but it's my responsibility to do with what... do with it because it's a reality that I have, and I have to work through those things." And so for me, it was like it rang really true where I was like, he, I was like, "Okay, it's right, and if my life is going to change, I have to be the person to change it," and that's when it, like, clicked for me. That conversation, I could say, is absolutely 100% the one conversation that changed my life completely.

    19. JSJay Shetty1:08:09

        Mm. Powerful. Uh, second question: What is the worst advice you ever heard or received?

    20. RDRob Dial1:08:15

        Fit in with everybody else.

    21. JSJay Shetty1:08:16

        Mm. Good. Uh, question number three: What is your most repeated thought?

    22. RDRob Dial1:08:23

        As of recently, is, "I'm proud of you."

    23. JSJay Shetty1:08:26

        Mm.

    24. RDRob Dial1:08:27

        I try to tell myself that every single day. My mom told me that a lot as a kid. I'm trying to repeat it to myself.

    25. JSJay Shetty1:08:32

        Mm. I love that. That's a great one. Uh, question number four: The number one habit that changed your life, like a daily habit, like something that you practice.

    26. RDRob Dial1:08:45

        Meditation and breathwork.

    27. JSJay Shetty1:08:47

        Mm.

    28. RDRob Dial1:08:48

        S- fi- finding space for myself.

    29. JSJay Shetty1:08:51

        Love it. Uh, fifth and final question: If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be?

    30. RDRob Dial1:08:57

        [laughs] Oh, my God.

Episode duration: 1:11:04