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The Jefferson Fisher PodcastHow to Spot Non-verbal cues | Jefferson Fisher
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At a glance
WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT
Spot resistance fast using body language, breath, and strategic pauses
- Fisher frames communication as having a “surface” (what’s said) and a “depth” (what’s really happening), and argues nonverbals reveal the hidden layer.
- He highlights three high-signal nonverbal cues of resistance—leaning away, touching the neck/face, and sudden changes in breathing or head-turning—that indicate discomfort or a sensitive topic.
- When resistance appears, he recommends easing off the pressured topic and shifting to rapport-building questions that invite the person’s real concerns to surface.
- For advisors and other professionals, he suggests reframing from transactional talk (money, titles, signing up) to values-based “what is wealth/success to you?” conversations to reduce anxiety and defensiveness.
- He emphasizes pausing before responding—especially to hard questions or rude remarks—as a learnable skill that projects confidence, improves clarity, and changes the power dynamic in a conversation.
IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING
5 ideasAssume there’s a second, unspoken conversation happening.
Fisher argues people show a “surface and depth,” and nonverbals often signal what they aren’t ready to say directly; your job is to patiently invite it out rather than force it.
Leaning away is a strong “push away” from the topic.
Even a subtle scoot back from the table often means the question landed uncomfortably and the person wants distance; treat it as a cue to slow down and probe gently.
Neck/face touching often signals vulnerability, not just “nervousness.”
He prioritizes self-soothing gestures (covering mouth, touching neck/face) as indicators someone feels exposed and is protecting themselves, meaning they may not feel safe yet.
Breath changes can reveal you hit a sensitive area.
A sudden big inhale, fidgeting, or turning the head away can mark disagreement or emotional activation; noticing it early lets you de-escalate before conflict spikes.
When you see resistance, pivot from the transaction to the person.
He describes disarming a hostile client by dropping titles and asking life-centered questions like “What’s been your biggest struggle this year?” to reset safety and rapport.
WORDS WORTH SAVING
5 quotesEvery person has a surface and a depth. That's their current and what's really going on underneath.
— Jefferson Fisher
Anytime you're touching your face, it's usually some kind of indicator that something else is bothering you or going on. That it's, they just, all you have to... It's not like you have to be a mind reader. It's only saying they're thinking of something else. There's a conversation in their head that I'm not invited to right now.
— Jefferson Fisher
I, I asked him, "So what's your biggest, what's been your biggest struggle this year? Like, what are you, what are you chewing on?"
— Jefferson Fisher
I don't say any words, but yet I say everything in the, in the silence.
— Jefferson Fisher
They're not, they're not always paying me for the action. They're paying me for the thinking.
— Jefferson Fisher
SPEAKERS
Jefferson Fisher
guestTrial attorney and communication coach; host of The Jefferson Fisher Podcast.
Jefferson Fisher
hostTrial attorney and communication coach; host of The Jefferson Fisher Podcast.
High quality AI-generated summary created from speaker-labeled transcript.
