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The Jefferson Fisher PodcastWhat Serving 7 Years in Prison Taught Damon West About Communication
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Chapter summaries
Southeast Texas Neighbors and How Damon Talks to Himself
Jefferson welcomes fellow Southeast Texan Damon West, and the two joke about living near each other. Jefferson opens with how Damon talks to himself, and Damon explains he stopped listening to the fearful voice in his head and instead reminds himself of past wins.
- •Damon and Jefferson are neighbors who had never met in person
- •Damon says the voice in his head can be fear, so he speaks to himself instead of listening
- •He reminds himself of times he succeeded to prove he can do hard things
- •The Shawshank Redemption example: Andy visualizes Zihuatanejo
- •The hardest prison is the one in your mind
From Division I Quarterback to a 65-Year Sentence
Damon starts his story at his 2009 trial in Dallas, where he faced a racketeering charge as the lead of a meth-addict burglary ring. He traces his path from Port Arthur football to Wall Street to the streets, and describes the jury giving him 65 years after a 10-minute deliberation.
- •Trial on May 18, 2009 for engaging in organized criminal activity
- •The crimes were non-aggravated burglaries to feed a drug habit
- •Background: Friday night lights, UNT quarterback, Congress, Wall Street, meth from 2004
- •The jury returned in 10 minutes with a 65-year sentence, which is life in Texas
- •His mother made him promise to come back as the man they raised
Muhammad and the Coffee Bean Lesson
Just before the prison bus arrives, an older man in Dallas County Jail named Muhammad tells Damon the pot-of-boiling-water story with the carrot, egg and coffee bean. Damon reflects on being receptive to every messenger in life.
- •Prison is compared to a pot of boiling water with three possible responses
- •The coffee bean is the change agent that transforms the water
- •Damon entered a Texas level five maximum security prison
- •Muhammad was a brief encounter in county jail
- •Be receptive to messengers who don't look like you
Listening and Servant Leadership in Prison
Damon explains how he became a communicator in prison, naming listening with clarity as his superpower. He practiced servant leadership by teaching men to read and write and preparing them for the GED.
- •He stood out in prison given his college-educated, Wall Street background
- •Listening makes people feel heard and part of a team
- •Servant leadership means helping others reach their goals
- •He taught reading and GED prep to other inmates
- •Healthy communities form when people put their talents on the table
The Parole Board and the One-Word Answer: Useful
At his first parole review after seven years and three months, a board member tells Damon he changed the entire prison around him. She asks him to describe what he wants to be remembered for in one word, and he answers "Useful." He walks out in November 2015 but remains on parole until 2073.
- •Non-aggravated offenders come up for parole earlier in Texas
- •The parole board member said one man changed an entire prison
- •His one-word answer was "Useful"
- •He was released on November 16, 2015
- •He is on parole until 2073
Six Dimes and a Nickel and the Coffee Bean Message
Jefferson ties the 65-year sentence to Damon's upcoming book, and Damon explains the prison slang for 65 years. They discuss the coffee bean message and how Jefferson himself has become a change agent.
- •Six dimes and a nickel is prison slang for 65 years
- •Muhammad first used the phrase after the trial
- •The coffee bean message is about being the change agent
- •Damon says he has watched Jefferson ramp up his videos
Practicing in the Mirror and Facing Seven No's
After release, Damon lived in his parents' spare bedroom and practiced his talk in a mirror every night for two years. At a coach of the year event in Houston, seven of eight coaches turned him down, and he pumped himself back up with positive self-talk.
- •No overnight success: he practiced his presentation nightly for two years
- •He sneaked into a Houston award event with eight top coaches
- •He got seven no's in one hour
- •He reminded himself he survived prison and the imposter voice faded
- •Muhammad's advice: you don't have to win all your fights, but you have to fight them
Clemson, Nick Saban's Call, and The Coffee Bean Book
Four months after the event, Clemson invited Damon to speak and Dabo Swinney became his advocate, leading to calls from other top coaches. A connection led to co-writing The Coffee Bean in 2019, which took off in 2020 when the world became a pot of boiling water.
- •Clemson's operations director invited him to speak in August 2017
- •Swinney called coaches across America on his behalf
- •Swinney introduced him to John Gordon, with whom he wrote The Coffee Bean in 2019
- •The book had a global publishing deal
- •The message resonated in 2020
Talk to Yourself, Don't Listen to Yourself
Jefferson asks Damon to expand on the idea of talking to yourself rather than listening. Damon stresses guarding what you feed your mind, from media to social content, and describes using the AA fourth step personal inventory to find his own role in problems.
- •What you consume shapes your inner voice
- •He calls fear-driven news negative entertainment
- •Guard your mind against rent-free voices of fear and doubt
- •The AA personal inventory identifies your role in problems
- •The only thing you can control is your own part
Preparing for the Parole Board's Poison Pill Question
Jefferson asks how communication drove Damon's path, and Damon recounts listening for cues from the parole board member. He discusses visualizing conversations and preparing contingencies, then explains how he answered the "do you think you got too much time" question.
- •He listened for cues from the board member in the interview
- •Other inmates warned him the "too much time" question was a poison pill
- •Jefferson says he visualizes and sets a goal before important conversations
- •Damon prepared contingency answers
- •He said there was no good answer, and she replied that he got too much time
Ego, Books, and Positive Self-Talk in Prison
Damon describes how he returned to school, earned a master's degree and taught a prisons class, then reflects on why he thinks juries give long sentences. He says prison stripped away his ego and that self-talk and books kept him afloat.
- •He earned a master's at Lamar and taught Prisons in America at UH-Downtown
- •He believes juries give long sentences out of anger or fear
- •His former cocky self only wanted to hear his own voice
- •Prison separated him from his ego
- •Reading books in his cell was safe and helped him avoid negativity
Life Lessons in the Book: Change and Staying in Your Lane
Damon describes his upcoming book as his life's work, with each chapter a principle, a story and a reflection. He shares the opening question about what someone taking control of your life would change, and the principle of staying in your lane.
- •Each chapter has a principle, a story and a reflection
- •The book opens with a question he first heard from James Clear
- •If you know the change to make, why haven't you made it?
- •Growth happens outside the comfort zone
- •Staying in your lane means finding your own path and not chasing someone else's
Coaches, Recovery, and Living by Strict Rules on Parole
Discussion turns to coaching, with both men noting there are good coaches and frauds. Damon explains the rules he lives by on parole, including recovery, monthly check-ins and avoiding any courtroom, and the value of serving others.
- •Everybody needs a coach or mentor; his AA sponsor is a main one
- •He sees his parole officer monthly and one failed drug test means prison
- •He attends two or three recovery meetings a week
- •He avoids being alone with a woman who is not his wife
- •Serving others makes people more receptive to you
Takeaways and the Power of "I Believe in You"
Jefferson recaps three lessons: be the coffee bean, talk to yourself, and start relationships with service. Damon adds a fourth, the four words "I believe in you," which came from a teacher's letter he carried through prison.
- •Be the change agent in your communication
- •Talk to yourself rather than just listening to yourself
- •Begin conversations with service, like questions and genuine compliments
- •A teacher's letter said "I believe in you"
- •Damon returns to a prison monthly and hears inmates say it to each other
