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Lewis Howes5 Psychological Tricks To READ ANYONE! | Evy Poumpouras & Chris Voss
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Why People Lie and How the Body Reveals It
Lewis asks whether everyone lies, and Evy Poumpouras says all people do, most often by omission. She explains that body language doesn't follow one universal pattern and that you must study the individual, noting that people who lie tend to move less.
- •All people lie, and the number one way is by omission
- •Lying is cognitively hard, so leaving things out is easier
- •Body language can conflict with the words, but no cue applies to everyone
- •Liars may move less because they are concentrating
- •Reading people takes work and knowing the person, not shortcuts
TED Questions and Letting People Take You on a Journey
Evy explains the TED approach (tell me, explain, describe) to get people telling stories, then narrowing from vague to specific. She describes how interrogators gather admissions gradually and stresses curiosity and adaptability, and she distinguishes instructional from identity-based communication.
- •TED stands for tell me, explain, describe
- •Start big and narrow gradually rather than asking the direct question
- •Admissions build a picture so you never have to ask the blunt question
- •Adaptability means letting the other person drive for a while
- •Identity-based people want to be heard, not given instructions
Spotting Deviations and Saying No Without Hurting Others
Evy describes how polygraph interviews and conversations rely on noticing shifts from a person's baseline, including over-emphatic denials and oaths. She admits her own small lies and argues it's okay to omit things to protect yourself, and says to find gentler ways to say no and choose words carefully.
- •The real lie detector is the person, not the machine
- •Look for changes from how someone answered other questions
- •Emphatic oaths are red flags unless they're natural to the person
- •Evy shares her own small lies, like about donuts or being mad
- •Find alternative ways to say no to preserve relationships and protect identity
Smiling, Mirror Neurons, and Practicing Labels
Chris Voss explains the neuroscience of smiling and how inner voice and tone are picked up by others. He argues negotiation skills can be learned through repetition, then walks Lewis through labeling with phrases like 'It sounds like...'.
- •A smile hits mirror neurons, sometimes needing up to three smiles
- •Your inner voice shows in your outer voice
- •Skills are built through repetition, citing a Blue Angel pilot's 63 to 64 repetitions
- •A label is a verbal observation starting with 'it seems like,' 'it sounds like,' or 'it looks like'
- •Saying the first three words fires the brain and builds the habit
Labeling to Learn About People and Make Them Feel Seen
Chris tells how a plane conversation with a stranger revealed his values and what to expect from him in a deal. He describes how labeling makes people feel connected and seen and makes you a sounding board, and a trainee transformed by it.
- •Asking what someone does and loves reveals their core values
- •A great deal is an alignment of core values
- •Labels can read body language as well as words
- •People feel seen and connected when labeled
- •A trainee opened up about age seven and felt transformed
Unintended Hurt, Forgiveness, and Taking Criticism
Chris argues most hurts are accidental and worth raising, using a Landmark Forum story of a 30-year grudge the other person never remembered. He then discusses his own childhood bullying, the fear behind criticism, and how he handles critics.
- •Most people interpret slights as negative, but they are probably accidental
- •A woman held a grudge for 30 years against a cousin who didn't remember
- •Chris realized he has likely hurt people without knowing
- •Criticism is mostly fear driven, and critics often struggle themselves
- •For every hater there may be ten supporters
The Magic Words "That's Right" and Naming Their Fear
Chris gives a role-play exercise: summarize the other person's view until they say "That's right" before making your point. He applies it to asking for an upgrade by voicing the other person's likely negative assumption.
- •Summarize the other side's perspective before making your point
- •Empathy is distinct from compassion
- •Voicing the negative thing they're thinking, like 'I'm just another jerk trying to get something free', snaps them out of their loop
Mentalist Interview: Reading Minds, Framing, and Live TV Risk
A mentalist explains how his work blends observing people and the power of suggestion, and how he reframes tricks that go wrong. He describes the high-stakes Al Roker Taylor Swift prediction on live TV and the visualization behind it.
- •Mentalism relies more on observation than emotional intelligence
- •Skeptics with crossed arms and true believers make the best participants
- •Framing lets him pivot so audiences never know something went wrong
- •The Al Roker Taylor Swift reveal came with a 45-second clock
- •He visualizes every branch of how the participant may think
Live Mind-Reading Demonstration in the Studio
The mentalist performs a live demonstration for people at the studio, guessing a vacation trip, a stapled envelope prediction, and a contact in a phone, ending with the name Joe Gianetto. Lewis acknowledges persuasion and tells play a role.
- •He guesses a vacation to Santa Barbara in 2010 with someone named Kendra
- •A stapled envelope held the prediction
- •A participant's phone contact is guessed through letter count and a Scrabble-tile exercise
- •The mentalist admits some of it was persuasion and indecision
Publicity Stunts, Negotiation Tips, and Mentalism vs. Magic
The mentalist discusses stunts he'd like to attempt, then gives negotiation tips: let silence work, state a price and stop talking, and offer tiered packages. The conversation moves to the difference between mentalists and magicians and the sense of wonder.
- •Danger and endurance are the elements of publicity stunts
- •He who talks first loses, so let silence sit after naming a price
- •Offering silver, gold, and platinum packages helps people feel they got a deal
- •Mentalism adds a layer of belief that magic lacks
- •Wonder is an individual emotion he wants audiences to feel like children
Storytelling, Corporate Shows, and Showing Credibility
The mentalist says storytelling is everything and describes tying mind tricks to corporate messages, such as the Swatch watch-stopping act. He explains staying calm when things go wrong and deliberately being slightly imperfect for credibility.
- •Corporate shows use tricks as metaphors for product messages
- •Emotional moments are remembered better than lectures or PowerPoints
- •He moved away from Russian-roulette style acts
- •Anchors in the show let him recover from hecklers and errors
- •Being slightly off can make a reading more credible
Psychological Karma, Giving First, and Influence Habits
The mentalist says he wants his next phase to be educational, mentions his book Mind Reader, and rejects psychics. He describes psychological karma, reciprocity from Cialdini's Influence, and the value of hugs and compliments.
- •He wants audiences to leave inspired to improve their lives
- •He opposes psychics who exploit beliefs
- •Giving to people leads to getting back
- •Reciprocity is illustrated with Israel and Turkey helping each other
- •Offering help and compliments builds connection
Negotiating with Alpha Personalities and Letting Them Go First
Chris explains that controlling, assertive negotiators mainly want respect and to be heard, and that emotional currency can substitute for money. He recommends letting the other side go first and listening for what they leave out.
- •Assertive negotiators want control and respect more than everything they ask for
- •Emotional recognition can solve deals that money doesn't need to
- •Price is the most emotional term in a negotiation
- •Let the other side go first and listen for tone and adjective changes
- •What isn't said is often more important
Triggering Information, Tactical Empathy, and Addressing Negatives Upfront
Chris describes the hardest counterparts as people who haven't thought things through, and how to get information by being corrected and using 'what' instead of 'why'. He explains the 'How am I supposed to do that?' technique, empathy versus sympathy, and naming negatives up front.
- •Yes is nothing without how
- •People love to correct you, which draws out confidential information
- •Replace 'why' questions with 'what' to avoid defensiveness
- •'How am I supposed to do that?' pushes terms while keeping the other side in control
- •Voicing negatives like 'I'll seem greedy' diminishes them and let you ask for more
