Dr Joe Dispenza on LOVE & Relationships “This Keeps 99% of People Single” (DO THIS TO FIND LOVE)

Dr. Joe Dispenza 0:00 In order for us to find love, a part of us must die.

Lewis Howes 0:03 Ooh.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 0:03 For anything-

Lewis Howes 0:03 Wait, wait, wait, wait. Why do we need to die to find love, a part of us?

Dr. Joe Dispenza 0:06 Because anything that's not love in us must die.

Lewis Howes 0:09 Ooh.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 0:10 And that's the difference between knowing the path and walking the path.

Lewis Howes 0:13 Of all the people that you've seen have successful long-term relationships, what is the thing that you see them do extremely well versus-

Dr. Joe Dispenza 0:20 Forgive.

Lewis Howes 0:20 Ooh.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 0:21 If you can't forgive, you'll never have love.

Lewis Howes 0:23 Wow.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 0:24 The love that we withhold is the pain that we experience lifetime after lifetime. That's how it is. Falling in love with yourself is falling in love with life, and falling in love with life is falling in love with yourself. Whatever it is that's standing in the way between you and love, [sighs] that's the journey. Anything that's not love in us must die.

Lewis Howes 0:43 This is something you say to everyone in your retreats, "What would love do?" I'm curious, how do you answer that for yourself?

Dr. Joe Dispenza 0:50 Um...

Lewis Howes 0:53 I think you gotta have a dream.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 0:54 The School of Greatness.

Lewis Howes 0:55 [laughs] Yeah.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 0:56 Please welcome Lewis Howes.

Lewis Howes 0:59 Welcome back, everyone, to The School of Greatness. Very excited about our guest. We have the inspiring Joe Dispenza in the house. Dr Joe Dispenza, we, uh, have had you on the show many times, and I think you're probably the most requested person back that we've had. And the last time we did an interview about love, self-love, loving others, and relationships, it got over 10 million views with a couple of different, you know, in Spanish and English translations. And some reason, people were just... really wanted to understand the concepts, not of how to find the right partner or any of these different things, but really how to love themselves better.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:42 Mm.

Lewis Howes 1:42 You know, if you wanna attract or manifest a great relationship, what I understood from that previous interview was you've really gotta learn how to love yourself better, and that is all about doing the work to overcome the old you that holds you back or that has made you attract people that maybe hurt you or upset you or let you down. But also, I, I feel like a lot of people haven't learned how to fully love themselves.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 2:10 Mm-hmm.

Lewis Howes 2:11 And so you're not a relationship expert, but for whatever reason, over 10 million people wanted to watch your content on, on love and relationships. And, you know, I'm not here to ask you about your personal relationships, but you've worked with, trained, and coached tens of thousands of people that come to your events, who go on to have beautiful relationships, first with themselves, which I think is the most important thing, but then eventually, you know, they rekindle relationships that are maybe struggling. They s- really become a different person and attract from a, a conscious, healthy place-

Dr. Joe Dispenza 2:46 Mm

Lewis Howes 2:47 ... and have more love in their life. And I think a lot of people wanna get out of pain, and they wanna feel peace, harmony, and love. And one of the highest frequencies that I learned about from your event, by going to your advanced meditation retreat, was that the frequency of gratitude and love allows you to bring just more goodness in your life, and that comes with relationships-

Dr. Joe Dispenza 3:09 Mm

Lewis Howes 3:10 ... and, and attracting others who bring you that loving mirror. So I know this is something that you don't talk about that much, but I feel like you have a lot of wisdom around brain and heart coherency, which allows you to attract a healthier love for self, a healthier love for the world, and a healthier love in relationships, and I'd love to explore more of this based on what we've talked about before. So thank you for being here. [laughs]

Dr. Joe Dispenza 3:38 [laughs]

Lewis Howes 3:39 Thank you for being here and being willing to talk about this.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 3:41 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 3:41 I know this is uncomfortable. Um, but people are so... They resonate with you as a human and your wisdom and your experience. You've been doing this work for a long time, and I'm curious,

Lewis Howes 3:52 why do you think people struggle, first off, with learning to love themselves and be in a healthy relationship with self? Why is that? Is it 'cause they're disappointed about their past and they're stuck in the memory of the past? Is it 'cause they've been let down in relationships by their parents, and then by their siblings, or by intimate partners? Or is it just they don't believe they're worthy of love?

Dr. Joe Dispenza 4:14 Yeah. I think at our true core, at our true source, is pure love. That's what I think it is, and I think there's always more love to experience. I don't think that is an... there's an end to that. So, um, people who hate themselves will hate others.

Lewis Howes 4:31 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 4:32 And people who are angry with themselves will be angry at others. People who are impatient with others will be impatient, uh, with themselves, will be impatient with others. People, um, who are unhappy with themselves will punish other people until they feel unhappy. Uh, it's just our nature as human beings. But when people are truly grateful, uh, for themselves or for their life, they're, they're, they're grateful for others. So people who love themselves naturally love others. People who are okay finally with themselves are, are okay with others. You know, that's just kind of how it is. So one of the things that people have as a limitation, uh, to the understanding of love is that they're feeling something other than it. And in order for us to find love, a part of us must die.

Lewis Howes 5:20 Ooh.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 5:20 For anything-

Lewis Howes 5:21 Wait, wait, wait, wait. Why, why would, why do we need to die to find love, a part of us?

Dr. Joe Dispenza 5:25 Because anything that's not love in us must die.

Lewis Howes 5:27 Ooh.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 5:28 And that's the difference between knowing the path and walking the path, right? So, um, so one of the things that we wanna teach people in the work that we do is to understand how to manage their energy, right? And, and how to manage their attention. Um, when you feel love, uh, which is just a word, by the way, and people have their own experience of what that is, you tend to feel more whole. Uh, and when you feel more whole, you tend to want less. When you truly feel love, uh, um, it is very different than being selfish. You're kind of more selfless. And when you're in your heart, you're more prone to give, you're more prone to care, you're more prone to be present, uh, you're more prone to, um, be grateful, uh, you're more prone to be kind. That's the consciousness of that center. It is the- the creative center. It's the union of opposites, it's the union of polarities, it's where oneness, where our divinity starts, right?

Lewis Howes 6:32 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 6:32 There's can't be enough- enough said about that center. So if you just did an inventory of the amount of time you feel love during the day, and the amount of time you feel other emotions like resentment or impatience or frustration or judgment [clears throat] or jealousy, any other one of those emotions, [laughs] that is the opposite of love. Fear is... Fear is not the opposite of love, it is the separation from love.

Lewis Howes 7:04 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 7:05 Uh, pain and suffering, they're not the opposite of love, they're the separation from it. That anger and hatred and hostility and violence, they're not the opposite of love, they're the separation from love, right? So- so then if you're living in survival, and living in survival is living in stress, and living in stress produces a cocktail of chemicals and hormones that make you feel something other than love. Turns out the majority of time, people are feeling something other than love, and they're feeling some of those other emotions.

Lewis Howes 7:35 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 7:36 So you only get good at what you practice, right? And those emotions will drive certain human behaviors that are p- primarily universal, and will cause us to think in very predictable ways, right? So the separation from love because of an- an event or a trauma or whatever it is, causes people to view their life through a different lens than love, right? Okay, so teach a person how to stop feeling those emotions of survival, right? Because in survival, it's not a time to create.

Lewis Howes 8:11 No.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 8:12 When it's a, in s- when you're in survival, it's not a time to communicate.

Lewis Howes 8:16 No. [laughs]

Dr. Joe Dispenza 8:16 It's not a time to learn. It's not a time to cooperate.

Lewis Howes 8:19 No.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 8:19 It's not a time to get along. Uh, it's time to run, fight, or hide, and when you're in survival, you're very selfish, you're self-indulgent, you're self-important, you're self-aggrandizing, and you're full of self-pity. It's all about the self. We're self in- uh, self-involved in so many ways. Um, and that means that once I'm okay and I'm happy, then, uh, everybody else could be happy. And so w- in survival, and we're feeling those emotions, we're doing everything we can to make that feeling go away, right? So it turns out that if you're in that state where you're in survival and it's not a time to create or not a time to love or not a time to open your heart, uh, not a time to learn, um, you're compromised-

Lewis Howes 9:04 Yes

Dr. Joe Dispenza 9:04 ... in a lot of ways. So bring that into a relationship, a relationship with peers, with- with coworkers, with relatives, with family, with a partner. Um, then the fundamental question is, uh, uh, what would love do in a relationship? That's... I think that's a really important question. Now, we have different relationships with different people and, um, because we've ex- had experiences with different people, because we've had experiences with them, we have neurological circuitry that is a memory that- that we can relate to that person. In fact, I see you, uh, based on the memory I have of you. I'm filling in my idea of Lewis based on my memory of him.

Lewis Howes 9:47 Yeah.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 9:47 So I'm not really seeing you. I don't see things how they are, I see things how I am, right? So your brain only can see equal to how it's mapped. So based on my experience, I super like you. You're a great guy. We get along. We have a lot of things in common. And- and so I see you that way, and the feeling that I have from my interactions with you causes me to be attracted to you. Like, uh, you're a cool guy, we hang out, we have great conversations. And so when I see you, there is a sense of love. There's an energy, there's a connection, there's com- camaraderie, there's some kind-

Lewis Howes 10:18 Mm-hmm

Dr. Joe Dispenza 10:18 ... type of union, right? Those are healthy relationships, and as long as we're- we're honoring one another, that relationship will continue and foster really, uh, great outcomes. You have a relationship with someone, like, uh, an ex or someone who's betrayed you, um, you have a different memory-

Lewis Howes 10:39 Mm-hmm

Dr. Joe Dispenza 10:40 ... of that person based on your experience.

Lewis Howes 10:42 Which triggers a different, uh, feeling, right?

Dr. Joe Dispenza 10:44 Which triggers a different feeling that's based on experience. And so then it makes sense then that the stronger the emotion you feel towards that person, the more you pay attention to them.

Lewis Howes 10:56 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 10:56 And where you place your attention is where you place your energy. So you're giving your power away to change to that person or that circumstance, and it's entirely possible that your reality is staying be- the same because your energy is the same.

Lewis Howes 11:09 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 11:10 And you, in fact, are contributing to that reality staying exactly unchangeable, right? So then you take a person, and they've had a- a moderately difficult past. Everybody's got a story, but when does the story end, you know?

Lewis Howes 11:26 Mm. Right.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 11:26 And now is the new later, right? I mean, it's... it really is.

Lewis Howes 11:30 Now is the new later.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 11:31 Yeah. Like, if you wanna change that now, okay, so the person understands fundamentally they haven't changed since those, th- that event. They're feeling the same emotion they felt from 20 years ago, and somehow their- their personality is in the past, right? Okay, so [clears throat] the person then has to overcome that emotional state. And so they're sitting in the meditation, and that's part of their identity, and meditation is getting beyond yourself. And as you're sitting there, all of a sudden you start getting frustrated and angry and resentful towards your ex. You want have two choices. Just, just go fully down that rabbit hole for the next hour and see how that feels at the end.

Lewis Howes 12:11 [laughs]

Dr. Joe Dispenza 12:12 Or ask yourself, "Is this loving to me?"

Lewis Howes 12:14 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 12:14 Justified or not, the only person it's gonna affect is me. Okay?

Lewis Howes 12:17 Is this loving to me or for me?

Dr. Joe Dispenza 12:19 That was... It was, uh, either one.

Lewis Howes 12:20 Right. Right. [laughs]

Dr. Joe Dispenza 12:21 It's [laughs] either one.

Lewis Howes 12:21 Yeah. [laughs]

Dr. Joe Dispenza 12:22 Okay, so if I could, in my meditation, really say, "Okay, I... This isn't loving to me. I know this isn't right. Even though I wanna make them wrong, I'm just gonna work... I'm gonna work on settling my body down from that emotional state." If I'm successful at regulating that emotion and s- no longer allowing the body to feel that emotion, I'm inhibiting that thought and feeling, that image and emotion. I'm breaking that conditioning response. If I, if I'm successful at doing that, if I lower the volume to that emotion, I'm gonna take my attention off that person or problem.

Lewis Howes 12:55 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 12:55 Which means I'm gonna be taking my power back.

Lewis Howes 12:58 Right.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 12:58 Right? Because I'm gonna drop my energy. I'm gonna build my own field, right? I'm, I'm no longer giving them my power to change energetically. I'm no longer giving them my attention, my energy. If I overcome the emotion, I'll take my attention off that person, and I'll begin to build my own electromagnetic field. Now there's energy to create. Now there's energy to heal. Now there's energy for a whole new future.

Lewis Howes 13:22 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 13:22 And, and lo and behold, when you lower the volume to that emotion, you take your attention off that person, that's forgiveness.

Lewis Howes 13:29 Wow.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 13:29 'Cause if you don't feel the emotion any longer, then you no longer have it t- your attention on that person, and your life truly changes. You'll never hold onto that emotion again.

Lewis Howes 13:42 But why

Lewis Howes 13:43 is it... Why are so many people holding onto resentment of what someone did in a relationship in their past versus allowing them to find forgiveness and peace about it? Maybe it, uh, not agreeing that it was okay what they did, but why do people hold onto resentment for so long or anger about a past-

Dr. Joe Dispenza 13:59 I th- I think it's because people are afraid it's gonna happen to them again.

Lewis Howes 14:03 Oh.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 14:04 And, um, when we have a traumatic event, big or small in fact, you're always on the lookout for the, the... Any signal in the environment, any person or circumstance that's gonna be the smallest cue that's gonna say, "Ooh, I've done this before. I better get ready for it." So we're in a constant state of bad news, waiting for the worst-case scenario. So let me just finish this.

Lewis Howes 14:23 Yes.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 14:23 Okay.

Lewis Howes 14:23 Yeah.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 14:23 'Cause the question really was about self-love.

Lewis Howes 14:26 Uh-huh.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 14:26 The person who lives in resentment is making themselves unhappy. A person who's judging everybody else and because they're judging theirse- themselves is making themselves unhappy.

Lewis Howes 14:35 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 14:35 Person who's complaining, blaming, making excuses, feel sorry for themselves, they're making themselves unhappy. There's nobody doing that to them. You say it's your ex? Okay, let's take your ex. Let's put him in a straitjacket. Let's shoot him to the moon. Now what? Now, now what?

Lewis Howes 14:49 You're, you're, you're still holding onto it. Yeah.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 14:50 You're still thinking that way and feeling that way.

Lewis Howes 14:52 [laughs]

Dr. Joe Dispenza 14:53 And, and that person is no longer in your life. You're defined by that, uh, that, that, that story, by that past event, okay? The person's truly sincere and thinks there's something other than that emotion of resentment. What's on the other side of it? Am I willing to sit through it long enough? And, and no matter how m- much the pain is or what my body does, I'm gonna sit this one out. I'm gonna work with my body and keep bringing it back into the present moment. It's like training an animal. You keep doing it over and over, and you stay, you stay, you say, "I'm not getting up. I'm not eating. I'm not moving. We're gonna keep lowering the volume." You keep reconditioning the body to a new mind. Sooner or later, it surrenders. It surrenders to a new mind. When that occurs, there's that liberation of energy, and energy moves into the heart. And you feel love for yourself. You feel a respect for yourself. You feel a honor for yourself. Something... You took your power back. You know? You built your field. Something feels right. When we look at the data of people who do this, and we see their, their, uh, scans, their brain scans, or we see their HRV measurements, and they g- they get good at this, we measure their oxytocin levels. Now, oxytocin is the love chemical, right? Mm. It's, it's made in the pituitary gland. Um, i- it is the, it's the love chemical, causes us to bond, to connect, to, to unify. And, and when I showed the values of oxytocin levels with these people to scientists, they're sometimes 200 times above normal. Now, that's not a little love.

Lewis Howes 16:21 [laughs]

Dr. Joe Dispenza 16:22 That's a lot of love.

Lewis Howes 16:23 It's an explosion of love.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 16:24 It's a lot of love. And the, the... So oxytocin signals nitric oxide, and nitric oxide signals another chemical called endothelial-derived relaxing factor. And that chemical causes the arteries in your heart and your lungs to literally open up, and blood flows into your heart. And your heart is filled with energy, just like when it engorges the f- the, the, the sexual organs. There's an engorgement of blood in there, and it activates it with energy. And there's a mind that's created. It's a consciousness.

Lewis Howes 16:55 Wow.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 16:55 Now, if this one opens up, it's a whole different consciousness. In fact, the research on oxytocin shows that the slightest elevation in oxytocin, it's impossible to hold a grudge. It's impossible. You say, "Dude, I feel so good." [laughs]

Lewis Howes 17:10 [laughs]

Dr. Joe Dispenza 17:10 Like, "I'm good." Like, "No, no, no. I'm good. I'm really good."

Lewis Howes 17:14 Aw.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 17:14 Now, that kind of state means I, I, I don't want to feel anything else but this.

Lewis Howes 17:22 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 17:22 So I am not gonna compromise myself or my energy to a lower denominator just because of you. In fact, I'm really good around you. I'm really okay. I feel so good. I don't wanna judge you because I don't wanna lose this feeling.

Lewis Howes 17:34 [laughs] Right.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 17:35 So then imagine being around a cat like that. Being around a person like that, that's y- really easy to be around because they're okay with themselves. And when they're okay with themselves, they relate with people differently. In fact, they relate with them unconditionally. They just love them unconditionally, and that causes an attraction. It causes a bond, right?

Lewis Howes 17:53 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 17:54 So one of the things I learned last year in watching people, you know, in this work, and week-long events, I do my best to pay really close attention. Looked out at an audience one day, and I looked out in the room just... We'd just finished a walking meditation. Everybody sat down, and I kinda glanced around the room, and everybody had this radiant smile. And I said to them, "Hey, who's making you happy, by the way? Who? Who's making you happy? There's nobody doing that to you."

Lewis Howes 18:24 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 18:25 "You're doing that to you. You're making yourself... I mean, you're not relying on your, anybody in your life-

Lewis Howes 18:31 Right

Dr. Joe Dispenza 18:31 ... to do that." Now, that is an attractive energy.

Lewis Howes 18:35 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 18:35 That's the person who relates well with money. There's a relationship with money. They relate well with people. Um, they're very giving, they're very caring. They want nothing in return. They're more present, because that's who they're practicing being. And so there's a natural affinity, a natural attraction, because the person is really present, and they're really okay, and something is different about them.

Lewis Howes 18:58 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 18:59 Something is unique about them. So the relationship we have with people when we're in that state where we're really okay with ourselves, where we've made ourselves happy, we're really happy with ourselves, allows us to love just about... W- we'll find beauty through the lens of love in anything when... and no one else sees it, right? Getting there is the overcoming process.

Lewis Howes 19:23 Uh-huh.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 19:23 That is what creates self-love. Now, to be very clear, I think many people, and I think I'll include myself, we confuse pleasure with love.

Lewis Howes 19:37 Yeah.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 19:37 And it's not the same thing.

Lewis Howes 19:38 What's the difference?

Dr. Joe Dispenza 19:39 Well, pleasure is doing something that makes you feel good, and but has nothing to do with love. Love has everything to do with something that you feel independent of pleasure. It's a s- it's, it's the... When you overcome yourself and you arrive at your goal, you reach your dream, you never give up on yourself, you had hard moments, you fell to your knees, you brushed yourself up, you got up, and you showed up again for yourself, it's amazing to watch this. I watch it at week-long events. I watch people literally change in seven days, and they showed up when they said, "I'm too tired. I have a handicap. I have a disease. I, I don't understand how rough my past is. I'm an addict. I, you know, I was in jail. I, I... My mother was abusive." You know, all... They showed up in spite of, "I'm too old. I have..." You know, whatever that is. They... You keep showing up for yourself, you start feeling really worthy. Really worthy to receive.

Lewis Howes 20:35 Mm-hmm. Yes.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 20:35 And the universe only gives us what we think we're worthy of receiving, right?

Lewis Howes 20:38 Uh-huh.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 20:38 So, so in, when you're in love, you're in a whole lot less lack. And if you're in a whole lot less lack, in a sense, you're moving closer to source, and that's a really good feeling. That's a really good feeling. So [clears throat] practice that every day.

Lewis Howes 20:59 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 21:00 Practice that every day in your relationships with people, your relationship with your body, your relationship with money, your relationship with your phone, your relationship with your car. Your relationship with everything would be different.

Lewis Howes 21:15 Yes.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 21:15 And so, so the overcoming process is the becoming process. You make yourself happy. You no longer need anybody to do that for you. Um, you have a person in your life who is conscious, that wants to make themselves happy and share their joy and their love with somebody.

Lewis Howes 21:35 Yes.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 21:36 Uh, well, you have something really unique. It's, it's really special. It's really, it's... And, and love, uh, is a bonding, a very bonding chemical. It's a very bonding energy, right? Uh, like, um, if you look at oxytocin levels in-

Lewis Howes 21:50 Mm-hmm

Dr. Joe Dispenza 21:50 ... in mammals, uh, you typically see it when the female has just given birth and she's grooming the offspring, and she's touching it and licking it and, and nudging it and, and, and taking care of it. The, the... There's oxytocin levels are released through the limbic brain, through the midbrain. That's the bonding brain. They're smelling, they're connecting, and they're attracting one another. It's creating a connection. A honeymoon stage of a relationship where there's a lot of intense connection, a lot of intimacy, releases oxytocin, creates monogamy, creates a bond. It creates unity, creates connection, right? So I show the values to our, some of the scientists and some of my colleagues, and they see oxytocin levels 200 times normal. They're like, "Dude, what are you doing?"

Lewis Howes 22:31 [laughs]

Dr. Joe Dispenza 22:32 Like, "What is going on?"

Lewis Howes 22:33 Yeah, right. [laughs]

Dr. Joe Dispenza 22:34 "This, this is a couples week. What is going on here?"

Lewis Howes 22:35 [laughs]

Dr. Joe Dispenza 22:36 And I say, you know, I say the same thing. I say, "Number one, I want people to fall in love with their future just like they fall in love with another person, because then if they do, they're bonded to that future just like they're bonded to another person. Secondly, if you truly, truly wanna connect to pure love, to source, to singularity, to oneness, to wholeness, to the fertile void, to, to vacuum energy, whatever you wanna call that, universal intelligence, that's pure consciousness, that's pure love. If you hit, you hit that moment where you hit connection, you will feel that arousal of love. It'll be-

Lewis Howes 23:09 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 23:09 It'll be profoundly memorable for you, and it's, it's, it's not chemical, it's electric. It's very electric.

Lewis Howes 23:16 Wow.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 23:16 So you get a few of those, it becomes you, and you become it. And so your love for the divine, your love for the mystical, your love for the unseen, your love for source, the, the love affair begins. And it's like being in love, it's... No one can tell you you're in love, you just know it. And it gets really hard to miss a date. Imagine you go and f- you go and connect every day, and you start your day from that place. That's a relationship.

Lewis Howes 23:46 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 23:46 That's a relationship with the world, the, that you're bringing. So I think the overcoming process is part of it. I think it's practicing getting to that place. I think it's practicing, uh, opening our hearts more, moving out of survival, working with our bodies. In survival, it's not a time to love.

Lewis Howes 24:04 No.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 24:04 It's just, it's not a time to communicate. So in a relationship that's built on emotions other than love, there's going to be a limit-

Lewis Howes 24:12 Mm

Dr. Joe Dispenza 24:12 ... to love, right? And so you got betrayed, someone else got betrayed, you get together

Lewis Howes 24:18 Talk about your betrayal.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 24:19 Work ourself up into a froth, feel the emotions, get emotional agreement, get a connection. You're connecting the same energy, the same emotion, 'cause you're sharing the same information, you're sharing the same memories, and you can relate with one another. That's a certain level of consciousness

Lewis Howes 24:33 At your events and your retreats, I was at one a year ago. I think there was 2,500 people there, the one that I went to. And there was a lot of different people from all walks of life from all over the world. Um, I would say a majority of the people were, you know, above 30, you know, from people I met. And a lot of people had been in relationships, some people that had been in divorce, and some people that had been in, in intimacy for a long time with their partner, and they were there together. They were growing and transforming together, right? Reinventing their relationship and expanding into the mystical together and all these different beautiful things.

Lewis Howes 25:12 For all the people that you've seen have successful long-term relationships, what is the thing that you see them do extremely well versus-

Dr. Joe Dispenza 25:21 Forgive

Lewis Howes 25:21 Ooh.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 25:21 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 25:22 They forgive each other. They forgive-

Dr. Joe Dispenza 25:23 Yeah, forgive. They forgive the emotion. Now, the emotion's gonna keep you in the past, right? So they have to be able to forgive.

Lewis Howes 25:31 What happens if we don't forgive something that our partner or in a relationship does? If it hurts us or they said something or they did something, maybe it was really bad or just...

Dr. Joe Dispenza 25:41 If you can't forgive, you'll never have love.

Lewis Howes 25:43 Wow.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 25:44 The love that we withhold is the pain that we experience lifetime after lifetime. You know, it's how it is.

Lewis Howes 25:51 The lo- Say it again. The love withhold.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 25:53 That we withhold is the pain that we experience lifetime after lifetime.

Lewis Howes 25:56 Oh, man.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 25:58 And, and then when we master our m- emotions, we master our creations. So that's a creation. And, and you have to overcome the memory, uh, and the emotion. And when you do, you belong to the future instead of the past.

Lewis Howes 26:09 Oh, man.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 26:10 So, so otherwise, well, that's a perfect explanation of karma. You live by that emotion, that emotion's gonna drive a certain behavior and cause you to think a certain way, and you're on the wheel. You're, you're gonna... People are living the same lifetime every day.

Lewis Howes 26:27 Ugh.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 26:27 They're in cycles. So they're living the s- same lifetime after lifetime 'cause they haven't overcome the emotion. No one's, no one's doing that to them. The soul can't go to the future. It can't go. It can't go if it's stuck in the emotion of the past.

Lewis Howes 26:41 Ugh.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 26:42 So the soul has to overcome the event by overcoming the emotion. Forget what happened. And you'll never hear me say to anybody, "Tell me your story." I will never say that.

Lewis Howes 26:52 Right.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 26:52 I would never do that to you.

Lewis Howes 26:53 Wow.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 26:54 I would say, "Overcome the emotion," and then the story ends.

Lewis Howes 26:59 Wow.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 27:00 Because the memory without that emotional charge is the wisdom we get from the experience. We never have to do it again. And now the soul says, "Okay, I'm ready for the next adventure. Okay, so I was betrayed. Okay, I learned the lesson. I did this, I did that. Okay, I got it." But we discovered that when people analyze their life within some disturbing emotion, they make their brain worse 100% of the time.

Lewis Howes 27:21 Holy cow

Dr. Joe Dispenza 27:22 'Cause you're thinking in the past. The answer's not there. Overcome the emotion. Actually, the, the thinking about it makes the brain worse. It drives them into higher states of arousal. Overcome the emotion, you have the answer to your own question. It's because it's not in the known. It's not in the past. You gotta get beyond it. So I say to people when they ask me questions, "Just, just seven days. Just cross the river. You're gonna have the answers to your own questions. There's gonna be no better life coach for you than you-

Lewis Howes 27:49 Right

Dr. Joe Dispenza 27:49 ... when you get over this."

Lewis Howes 27:50 Right.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 27:51 So then the person who shows up worthy in their life, person who's happy because they're making themselves happy, that's such an unknown for everybody that, that they've just left and showed back up in their life or who they usually complain with. They're like, "Oh my God, this person's joined a cult. Oh my God-"

Lewis Howes 28:06 [laughs]

Dr. Joe Dispenza 28:06 "... this person seems way too happy, and they're happy without me." You know? And, and really, it's just an energy that's, that the person has broken out of the chains. They freed themselves from the chains of the past, right? And so that doesn't mean that they don't get frustrated, don't get angry. They just don't waste their time staying there because living by that emotion will create a gap between the way things appear and the way things really are.

Lewis Howes 28:27 Wow.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 28:27 And if we respond during that period, we'll always say the same thing. Should have never said that. I should never done. I should never sent that email or that text. I- you're altered in some way. So learning to shorten the refractory period of your emotional response is, is, is emotional intelligence, right? And, and getting really good at that then allows a person to show up differently.

Lewis Howes 28:48 Hmm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 28:48 And when people, when people create the life they want, which happens a lot, why would they, why would they hold a grudge?

Lewis Howes 28:56 Right.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 28:57 Why, why would they do that? They trust. They'll- They free themselves, and they free that person. Like, like everybody's, um, been betrayed. Everybody's been hurt. But if your life is wonderful, who cares? Like, that whoa, I just, I, I meant... I wasn't conscious or whatever. And then I- now it's, it... When your life isn't working, and it ain't working and you're living by that same emotion, then that past is... You're gonna keep it alive, but you're the only one keeping it alive. Where does... where is it? Where is your past? Where is it? It, it's only there, right?

Lewis Howes 29:28 It's in a memory.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 29:28 It's a memory.

Lewis Howes 29:29 It's not here.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 29:30 Yeah, it's not here. So then people spend enormous amounts of time not even knowing, not even aware that they're living in that state and always predicting. The default mode network in the brain is always predicting the next moment based on what it's learned in the past, right? Our data-

Lewis Howes 29:51 If you're holding a grudge of the past, it's gonna predict that in the future

Dr. Joe Dispenza 29:54 You're, you're just gonna get ready for the next one.

Lewis Howes 29:56 It's hap- You're-

Dr. Joe Dispenza 29:57 Your-

Lewis Howes 29:57 ... recreating the past

Dr. Joe Dispenza 29:58 Your, your, your, your future is your past.

Lewis Howes 30:01 Oh, man.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 30:02 Yeah. And, and, and there's... And that's all the known, right? So getting a person to no longer live in the predictable future, you know, where they're just habituated, where they get up and do things, and they're on a program. Getting a pers- That's the predictable future is the known. Familiar past is the known. Living by the emotion, remembering the event. If the- If the familiar past is the known and the predictable future is the known, there's only one place where the unknown can be.

Lewis Howes 30:29 Yeah.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 30:29 And that's the present moment.

Lewis Howes 30:30 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 30:31 Getting a person to labor for the present moment liberates energy in the body.

Lewis Howes 30:35 Wow.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 30:35 And that's when the person starts feeling more like themselves, and they don't feel as altered. And so you overcome the emotion of resentment, just use this as an example.

Lewis Howes 30:43 Yes.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 30:43 By sitting in the fire for a week and just facing off with it and just working with your body and retraining it to a new mind, I guarantee you that when you see your ex, you'll, you'll see a part of you you used to be that you no longer are, and you'll have nothing but compassion and love for her.

Lewis Howes 30:58 Oh.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 30:58 And you'll be like, "Wow, wow. I get it. I totally get it." It's no longer the past anymore. You're not connected to it any longer, and you free that person. And your relationship changes, and something shifts, and there's... She's, he's, she's seeing you differently because you're showing up differently.

Lewis Howes 31:13 Yes.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 31:14 And it's not, not anything you're saying. You're not lecturing them. You're just not showing up as the memory they had of you, and that allows them to be different.

Lewis Howes 31:23 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 31:24 And that's, that's a great service.

Lewis Howes 31:27 Yes. You mentioned about survival mode. When we're in survival mode, we're feeling stressed. And when we're feeling stressed, we're unable to feel that kind of self-love, love for self.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 31:37 There's, there's... Well, when you're in stress, you're altered.

Lewis Howes 31:40 You're altered.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 31:40 You're altered. You're not... You're- you're- you're altered self. You're not yourself.

Lewis Howes 31:43 You're, you're shaken. You're not feeling whole-

Dr. Joe Dispenza 31:45 You've moved from love

Lewis Howes 31:46 ... complete. Right.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 31:46 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 31:47 And when we enter a relationship from survival or stress or lack of worthiness or neediness, I need someone to make me feel more love because I don't have it myself, what do we usually attract and create when we're attracting from neediness, survival, and a lack of wholeness?

Dr. Joe Dispenza 32:11 Yeah, I think the, the... all of that lack, all of that separation is separation from love.

Lewis Howes 32:17 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 32:18 Right? And the problem is, is that we've just been conditioned into thinking that it, it comes from out there. It comes from that person-

Lewis Howes 32:26 Mm

Dr. Joe Dispenza 32:26 ... that drug, that circumstance, that, that thing, that object, this app, whatever it is.

Lewis Howes 32:32 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 32:32 And you're, you're relying on your outer world to change your inner world. And so when things are good, you feel good. When things are, feel bad, you feel bad. So you're in, you're out of effect. You're not at cause in any way. So what if, though, you had a way to find that independent of your outer world? The data we have suggests it's absolutely possible. Now you're free. You're free, like you don't need anybody or anything. You'd be a lot cooler to hang around with.

Lewis Howes 32:58 [laughs]

Dr. Joe Dispenza 32:58 Everybody'd be like, "Wow," you know? That's just... That, that would allow them... Well, I, I, I know this. Your presence would allow them to r- move out of survival, and they would open their heart a little bit more, and they trust you a little bit more. They'd be more kind. They'd be more soft-spoken, more, uh, less egocentric. Your, your presence would do that. And, and may not be the first time, but they would start figuring out, like, "Wow, this guy is really different," you know? He's, something's different about him. And, and that's just because you're present and, and you're giving them your attention without judgment. You, you see how hard it is to change. You've actually made that change. Because you've made that change and you see that you've made that change, but you see that in them, you're no longer judging them. You have compassion for them.

Lewis Howes 33:43 Yes.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 33:43 Like, "Dude, that's a tough one."

Lewis Howes 33:45 It's tough.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 33:45 "Dude, it took me a long time to get over that." But you're not judging them, like, "What's wrong with you?" You're, you're, you're like, "Oh my God, I totally know what that's like."

Lewis Howes 33:52 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 33:53 You, you've crossed that river. So of course you'd never offer them advice unless they asked you. You would probably give them a one-liner. I mean, people who heal in the, our work, so many times, you know, uh, uh, people in, in a state of desperation will say, "What meditation did you do?" And they laugh-

Lewis Howes 34:09 Right

Dr. Joe Dispenza 34:10 ... at them. Like, "It's nothing to do with the meditation. It was just, I changed."

Lewis Howes 34:13 Wow.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 34:13 Like, and it was a, it was a, it was an arduous process.

Lewis Howes 34:16 Yeah.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 34:17 But they're telling a different s- they're telling the story of their future. They're not telling the story of their past, their ex or their betrayer or what- whoever that person is. They have no regrets about that, because why? They have-

Lewis Howes 34:28 They wish them well. They hope they're happy

Dr. Joe Dispenza 34:30 ... it, it's not even, it's not like they're even trying to forgive to be spiritual. You know people who try to forgive? Like, "I'm really gonna try to forgive that person."

Lewis Howes 34:37 Working hard to forgive here.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 34:37 Yeah, that's just not how that works. Like, you are in love. Like, you don't have to try to forgive. You're just, you just don't wanna lose this feeling, and you take your attention off that person, and you're good. You, there's a lot of freedom in that, and that's how people heal. And they're, they're building their own field. They're, they're, they're giving their body their energy back again. They're taking their power back-

Lewis Howes 34:55 Right

Dr. Joe Dispenza 34:55 ... in so many ways. So... And then there is, then there is community.

Lewis Howes 35:01 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 35:01 A collective consciousness. Like, I, I, I, I like great conversation.

Lewis Howes 35:08 Yes.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 35:09 I like spirited conversation. I like to be ta- uh, scientists or people in my life that I love, I like to engage in just what the limit is and like, "Everybody take us on a journey to see how far we can go." And I don't like to talk about, like, things that really, that are, that... where there's pain or suffering or what. I don't, I don't... uh, where there's ego. I don't really like that. Like, that's a consciousness.

Lewis Howes 35:30 No.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 35:31 And, and, and everybody's done it, but i- if you're truly on the path to evolution, you outgrow it.

Lewis Howes 35:37 Yes.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 35:38 You j- you outgrow complaining. Like, you just, you just don't, you don't wanna make yourself unhappy anymore. You outgo- outgrow talking about yourself like you're better than anybody else, because if you do, you gotta face off with that person tomorrow-

Lewis Howes 35:49 Right

Dr. Joe Dispenza 35:49 ... and overcome them tomorrow. After a while, you're like, "Dude, just stop that," so you don't have to deal with you like that anymore.

Lewis Howes 35:54 Sure.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 35:54 So you just start, you start outgrowing things that, they're just a side effect of your evolution. It's, it's not like you have to try to do it. It's just the side effect-

Lewis Howes 36:03 Mm

Dr. Joe Dispenza 36:04 ... of a change in consciousness, a change in energy, a change in awareness, a change in emotional states.

Lewis Howes 36:08 Yes.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 36:09 And so in the heart, it is the selfless place. It's a selfless place. We give, uh, from the heart. We care from the heart. We're kind in our heart. We're compassionate in our heart. We're inspired in our heart. You know, we're, we fall in love with our heart. We're grateful in our heart. And so I think people feel with every other part of their body but their heart.

Lewis Howes 36:28 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 36:28 Like, they just don't feel with it, right?

Lewis Howes 36:30 Gosh.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 36:30 So practice feeling with your heart.

Lewis Howes 36:32 Yes.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 36:32 And, um, God, we have, we have such great data. You know, we put these monitors on people for 24 hours, right? And- I used to think primarily it was women that had these moments. Now we're seeing that men have them too. In fact, the men whose spouses take them, or partners take them to an event and they really don't wanna come, those guys are gonna be fine.

Lewis Howes 36:52 [laughs]

Dr. Joe Dispenza 36:52 They have really, really big moments. So, so we see them in their meditation where you get these little blocks of five minutes and you see the heart just drop into coherence, and it's just beautiful lines, beautiful looks. You can see this. It's very easy to see. You see this person sustaining it for 45 minutes during their meditation, so you're like, "Hmm. All right. This person nailed it." You go to the next meditation, another 45 minutes again. Hmm, done it once, done it twice. This is... Looks like this person's getting a skill. All of a sudden they do it a third time, another 45 minutes, and then lo and behold, those three meditations in one day, then they're, they're in their room and they're get- unpacking and getting ready for bed. They're still wearing their heart rate monitor. And while they're not in a meditation, for one hour while they're just unpacking and getting ready, there's an enormous amount of heart coherence that's taking place for a whole hour.

Lewis Howes 37:45 Why?

Dr. Joe Dispenza 37:46 Because just like a person who has a panic attack, who's embracing the worst case scenario in their mind every day and emotionally feeling the anxiety and the fear if that event actually occurred, that image of that emotion, that stimulus and response, that thought and feeling, has conditioned the body to become the mind of anxiety. The body has a panic attack with you or without you. Try as you may to control it with your conscious mind, you can't control. You program it subconsciously, right? So is it possible to have a spontaneous love attack? And that's what she had. She had a one hour where her body went into ecstasy.

Lewis Howes 38:21 Wow.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 38:21 And you could see it. I said, "What did-

Lewis Howes 38:23 A love attack.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 38:23 A love attack.

Lewis Howes 38:24 Wow.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 38:24 She, she... I said to her, "What did you do?" She said... And I saw it. She, she laid... She got on in bed, and she laid down and rolled over and went to sleep. So you see her, about an hour and 10 minutes, perfect heart coherence, and just see it drop off into sleep. Well, 13, 1400 different chemicals are released to restore and repair the body. So the love that you feel is, is the glue that creates connection on a cellular level, on a molecular level, on an atomic level. Peel the atom all the way back right to the center of the nucleus and you have nothing-

Lewis Howes 38:57 Ah

Dr. Joe Dispenza 38:57 ... but energy.

Lewis Howes 38:57 Ah.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 38:57 And that energy is what's called low entropy. And low entropy is high order, and high order is high energy, and it's a lot of, lot of power. So as you move closer to, to that source of everything physical and material, we have such great data to show that people actually run into it.

Lewis Howes 39:17 Ugh.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 39:18 And when they do, their autonomic nervous system goes into these elevated states of high, high, high gamma brainwave patterns. Now gamma is super consciousness. Gamma is very conscious, very aware. So the person's whole entire autonomic nervous system is processing hundreds of standard deviations of gamma outside of normal. That's not a little gamma. And it's so coherent.

Lewis Howes 39:45 [laughs]

Dr. Joe Dispenza 39:46 Now the autonomic nervous system touches every single cell in the body. It controls and coordinates all those systems, right? So now imagine stress is autonomic dysregulation-

Lewis Howes 39:56 Uh-huh

Dr. Joe Dispenza 39:56 ... incoherence. This is autonomic regulation, but this is not a little regulation. This is enormous amount of energy that's taking place in the brain. And the autonomic nervous system's on fire, and every single cell in the body's getting touched by that frequency. And that frequency is carrying information, and energy is informing matter, and that connection creates that feeling of pure love, of ecstasy or bliss. And now the person takes a piece of it with them.

Lewis Howes 40:24 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 40:24 They become more of it, and it becomes them. And so we measure their blood and, and there's a lot of oxytocin. We measure their blood, and there's information in that blood that wasn't there before that heals cancer, that reverses Alzheimer's, that- that- that- that causes, uh, viruses to not enter the cell. I mean, it causes the, the microbiome to change in s- in, in a matter of days. Like, so there... That, that interaction with that unifying field of energy that exists beyond our senses, whose signature is oneness, whose signature is wholeness, whose signature is pure love, means then that it lives within you and all around you, then you'd be remembering who you are and where you came from, which is pure love, and it is the most familiar unfamiliar feeling you'll ever have. And it's not chemical.

Lewis Howes 41:08 Wow.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 41:08 It's electric. And when you have that moment, many times there's an upgrade that takes place in the body. There's the disease, now it's gone.

Lewis Howes 41:17 Wow.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 41:17 There's the eczema, it's gone. There's the myasthenia gravis, now it's gone. Um, there's the Parkinson's, now it's gone. There's the blindness, now it's gone. There's a... Energy's informing matter, and that n- enormous amount of regulation, high, high amounts of regulation, is raising the body in frequency. It's raising the body in light. And all disease is lowering of frequency. So the person is connecting to something way bigger than their senses, way... something beyond their senses, and it's coming from within them. Now, and you only need one of those-

Lewis Howes 41:46 Mm

Dr. Joe Dispenza 41:47 ... and you're, you're okay from that point forward in the way you see life. You... Some veil, some illusion, some conditioning, some hypnosis is removed, and you're now way more relaxed in your heart and way more awake in your brain-

Lewis Howes 42:04 Mm

Dr. Joe Dispenza 42:04 ... instead of unconscious, stressed out, in, in a program, right?

Lewis Howes 42:08 And when I think you're more awake in your, your heart and your brain, you start to attract more great opportunities, and you start to see, "Is this person in alignment with my type of-"

Dr. Joe Dispenza 42:19 Resonating. Resonating-

Lewis Howes 42:21 Yeah

Dr. Joe Dispenza 42:21 ... in that consciousness.

Lewis Howes 42:22 Exactly.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 42:22 And you'll, you'll be able to find your tribe. Well, it'll be as, as obvious as anything.

Lewis Howes 42:25 Exactly. What- whether you're looking for a partner or friends or community or, you know-

Dr. Joe Dispenza 42:29 Or a business partner-

Lewis Howes 42:30 ... a place to work. Yeah, exactly

Dr. Joe Dispenza 42:30 ... that you can trust.

Lewis Howes 42:31 Exactly.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 42:31 That you resonate and you feel that. And, and, and the heart is a strong element in the creative process.

Lewis Howes 42:38 Mm, mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 42:39 So if you have a coherent brain, then you're sending the signal out into the quantum field. That's the, that's the potential in the quantum field that you're selecting. That already exists, and you gotta have an intention. And the more coherent the brain, the more the electrical signal takes place in the field. But if you wanna create the experience, the synchronicity, the opportunity, you gotta need a coherent heart, and the heart is the magnetic field, and the magnetic field draws things to us. So now we don't have to go get it any longer, 'cause that's what we do in three-dimensional reality. All of a sudden you start noticing, "I, I really didn't do anything. Well, I got the email, I got the phone call, I got the opportunities, and I met this person who led to this, and wow, and all, all of a sudden I have this life." And, and so if you're gonna believe in that future that you're imagining with all of your heart, it's gotta be open and activated.

Lewis Howes 43:25 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 43:26 And we train people to get in that place, and when they're in that place, they have wonderful relationships with everything-

Lewis Howes 43:34 Yes

Dr. Joe Dispenza 43:34 ... and everybody because they're okay with themselves.

Lewis Howes 43:37 Yes. Can you explain... I love this explanation. At your retreat, you talk about this over and over, sending an intention with a signal from your thought out into the field.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 43:48 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 43:49 And then with your heart drawing this intention from the physical world to you physically.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 43:55 Yeah.

Lewis Howes 43:55 Can you explain... I- every time you say this, I love it, and it just reminds me about the power of intention and having a coherent heart and brain connection, right? And being-

Dr. Joe Dispenza 44:05 Those are the tools

Lewis Howes 44:06 ... being so clear on your thought and thinking of why you want this thing, you know, not wanting it from a place of lack, but already feeling grateful. All these different things that you teach in the retreat. But can you explain what this does when you have a signal from the brain and you have a magnet from the heart?

Lewis Howes 44:23 How does that work in the physical world, and how can we apply this to, you know, if someone's been single for a long time and they're like, "You know what? I'm ready for love. I'm ready for a, a greater connection, and I've let go of my past, I've forgiven. I feel like I'm in a space that's r- allowing me to feel love myself, and I'm allowing to bring a partner to me." How does this connect to that as well?

Dr. Joe Dispenza 44:45 Okay. Well, let's talk about how we typically create, okay? We, we basically create in lack or separation. And you're walking down the street and you see someone with a nice car, and you're like, "Oh, I love that car."

Lewis Howes 44:56 I want that.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 44:57 And you don't have it.

Lewis Howes 44:57 Yeah.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 44:58 You want that car because you don't have it, so you're gonna go out and work or do whatever you can to get that car. And, and in order for you to get that car, we're in the plane of demonstration, you gotta do things. So there's the thought of having the car, and then there's the experience of having it.

Lewis Howes 45:12 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 45:12 And the diff- the distance between the thought of the car and the experience of getting it is called time.

Lewis Howes 45:18 Yes.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 45:18 Right? That's separation. So then in three-dimensional reality, you gotta, you gotta... Everything that we do to cr- to, to bring those two points of consciousness together takes time and energy.

Lewis Howes 45:29 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 45:29 So we gotta do things, we gotta get up and go s- try things and try things out and do things and work and da da. And then you buy the car finally, and then you may have to make payments, so you gotta keep working to pay it off. [laughs] Right? So it takes a lot of time and energy. So in three-dimensional reality, the plane of demonstration, there's a separation between the thought of what you want and the experience of having it, and you gotta do things to get it, and that's called time. So then the cause and the effect, one point of consciousness, another point of consciousness. The separation is called time. Okay. Well, you can get really good at that. You can get trained, you can go to school, you can make a lot of the right m- choices. Uh, y- you can meet the right people. Y- you can figure out ways to accumulate more things and get all the things you want that you think that makes you happy, right? But after a while you're like, some people never actually create the thing they want. They spend their entire life in lack, because they're waiting for that event to happen to take away the lack of not having it, right? So their senses are fooling them into the illusion of separation, right? So they're creating matter to matter.

Lewis Howes 46:29 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 46:30 And matter to matter takes time and energy.

Lewis Howes 46:32 Yes.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 46:32 You can get really good at doing it. Okay. So there's this invisible field of unifying energy that exists beyond the senses that's unifying everything physical and material. And the forces of nature, uh, the quantum physicists have been trying to unify gravity and-

Lewis Howes 46:45 Mm-hmm

Dr. Joe Dispenza 46:45 ... strong and weak nuclear forces and electromagnetism. Some- there's some intelligence that's keeping all of this in order after an explosion. Like, after there's an explosion, there's normally disorder, but we got a lot of order here. So unifying all those principles is really what quantum physics is about, and finding mathematics to do it. But undeniably, in this realm, um, in the quantum realm, there's no separation. It's... There's nothing physical, there's nothing material, there's no matter. That's all taking place in three-dimensional reality. It's all energy. It's all frequency.

Lewis Howes 47:16 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 47:16 It's all vibration, it's all information, it's all consciousness, it's all thought. Um, that is that invisible field of energy.

Lewis Howes 47:24 Yes.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 47:24 So, okay. That invisible field of energy, Einstein said, "The field is the sole governing agency of the particle." He didn't say the particle controls the particle. He said the field controls the particle. So if I can change information in the field, I should be able to affect the particle matter. So it turns out the, the... an atom is 99.99999% energy, information. It's, it's... There's nothing physical or material there. .00001 material, when the, the probability of us seeing the truth of reality is zero.

Lewis Howes 47:57 Wow.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 47:57 And we are only seeing a small spectrum of frequency, the rainbow, visible light, bouncing off the s- most stable form of energy called matter, giving us this hologram, this illusion of separation, okay? So if there was a way to create from the field instead of from matter, and move closer to source, and create from a place of wholeness and less from separation-

Lewis Howes 48:20 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm

Dr. Joe Dispenza 48:20 ... I'd have to be able to get to the field.

Lewis Howes 48:22 Yes.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 48:22 So then if where you place your attention is where you place your energy, and you could... You develop the ability to take all of your attention off your body, all of your attention off all the people in your life, all the objects and things, your cell phone, your car, your house, whatever, all the relationships with all the people, all the places you need to go, the place you're sitting, the place you grew up, the place you sleep, the place you work, and nothing about the predictable future or the familiar past, and settle into the present moment, you would go from a somebody to a nobody. Uh, from a someone to a no one, from something to nothing, from somewhere to nowhere, from some time to no time. That is the moment you're pure consciousness. Mm. You would be disinvesting all of your attention, all of your energy out of this three-dimensional reality, out of the known, and placing it on the unknown. Now, let's demystify the process. Take away everything physical and material in the universe. Take away the Earth, take away the moon, take away all the planets, all the moons from the planets, take away the sun, the light from the sun, the stars, all the light from the stars, galaxies. Take everything away. Wipe everything out physical and material. What are you left with? Nothing. Nothing. Turns out that that nothing is filled with a lot of frequency and energy. [laughs] That's true. And I don't know how to explain nothing to a materialist. [laughs] But when you can linger in that place without a name- Mm ... without a face, without a body weight, without a diet, without a disease, without a profession, without an identity in any way, without a past, and you can linger as pure consciousness, something really profound happens to the brain. Mm. Different compartments of the brain that have been modulated or compartmentalized or subdivided because of the stress hormones, you know, shift your attention from one person to another person to another problem to another thing. That habituation fragments the brain. Brain becomes a house divided against itself, and you narrow your focus. You over-focus. You become obsessive about something. That's what we do in stress. We turned out- it turns out if you open your awareness to nothing, the brain starts getting highly organized. Different compartments of the brain that were modulated start unifying. The brain starts firing this more holistic state, and the whole entire brain is resonating at the same frequency. Mm. Now, you get that brain going for that period of time like that, waves start, that are coherent, start interfering with each other. And when they do, they create bigger amplitudes. The higher amplitude, the higher the energy in the brain. So now you have resonance in the brain, and the brain starts getting very mathematical, very organized, right? So that brain that's coherent, the entire brain is functioning as one neurological network. The two hemispheres are coming together, and there's this kind of psychic union called wholeness. Now, that state of coherence, uh, in moving out of the beta brainwave states into a slower brainwave state, produces electrical signals. Yes. And that electrical signal is the intention. That's ... The more clear your intention is, the more coherent the brain is, the stronger the signal. Okay, so if you decided to create from the field instead of from matter, and you were just pure consciousness, and I asked you to send the signal out from a coherent brain, and whatever that thing is that you wanted, you could h- you trained, we trained you how to do that, then you would be shimmering the entire vacuum, that entire void. You w- you are that. You're not you any longer. You're the source, right? So if you're the source and you're sending the signal out, then you're, you're touching the consciousness of everybody, of everyone, of everything, of everywhere, of every time. The h- the entire field is becoming electric because of your intention. Wow. Okay? Now, if you're source, why would you go anywhere to get anything? And so consciousness is coherent brain, and then the energy of the heart is love, and pure s- pure love is source. So if I asked you to fall in love with that future, and I asked you to draw the future to you with the magnetic field of the heart, the heart produces a magnetic field up to three meters wide. Mm. That's, that's, that's studied. So now, love is the glue that holds the atom together, okay? Okay, if I get a coherent heart, the more coherent my heart is, the more energy in my heart, the more I can draw my future to me. Mm. So you send the signal out, you draw the experience to you, and now you don't go anywhere to get anything. When there's vibrational match between your energy and some potential in the quantum field, that when there's a match, you start seeing those synchronicities. You've synchronized your energy to that possibility. Uh, and, and so you start seeing the coincidences and the synchronicities and the opportunities. I'm not talking about a parking space. [laughs] I'm talking about, like, real-life events. Yes. This is a critical moment for people because I think people don't realize how powerful they really are. When that event happens in their life, they will look back at every single betrayer, everything that happened in their past, and they won't care how, uh, they won't care any longer. That's the moment their past no longer exists, 'cause they're proving to themselves what they innately already know that they may have forgotten. Which is what? And that is that they're the creator of their life. Mm. And when you have that synchronicity, you are humbled by the truth, and you feel this sense of greatness, like real greatness. Yeah. Like, "I am honored to be human. I'm honored to be alive. I'm honored that I actually created." It's not the, it's not the wealth. You can ask anybody in our community. It's not the health. It's who you became. And, and people think they want this or they want that, but I'm telling you, what they want is wholeness. Yes. And when you have wholeness that you no longer want, how could you want when you're whole? Game change is really amazing. And so the closer we get to source, and that's our work, how deep can you go? And we teach people how to go as deep as they can. There's a brainwave state that takes place that w- I can predict. When we see it, I know the person's gonna have a big moment. In fact, we can predict it, we can replicate it, um, and we can induce it. Mm. And the person goes into these really slow, uh, theta brainwave states, and that's when they're in a hypnotic state. Mm. They're very suggestible to information, and they're in coherent theta. And when they move outside of normal, we know the next moment is they're gonna hook up, and their brain's gonna go into gamma, and they're gonna feel a whole lotta love. Not a little love, like a lotta love. And it's gonna be an arousal, and it's gonna be ecstasy. It's gonna be bliss. To them, they're having ... They're, they're seeing their, the unknown self, the 99.99% of reality that we're unaware of. And don't exclude yourself from that. Mm. And so the person has a moment in the unknown and a profound mystical moment or an understanding or a download or a connection to source or a healing or something that takes place. They took a bite of wholeness. It took a bite of it, right?

Lewis Howes 54:57 [laughs]

Dr. Joe Dispenza 54:57 They became more whole. And when you're more whole, you don't need as much.

Lewis Howes 55:01 That's right.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 55:01 And when you're not- don't need as much, you're really cool to be around. Like, it's really easy to be around you. In fact, if you're so whole that you feel so abundant that the only thing you wanna do is give, we have people in this work that have created millions of dollars, and they're, they're giving it away. And the more they give it away, the more money they keep getting. That's the experiment for them.

Lewis Howes 55:20 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 55:21 That's their experiment. They're trying that out as an experiment. Why? Because an abundant person would never hold onto anything. They have more than they need. So the side effect of creating from the field instead of from matter shortens the distance between the thought of what we want and the experience of having it, and that takes, means there's less time.

Lewis Howes 55:41 Right.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 55:41 And the greater frequency, the closer we are to source, the less separation is two points of consciousness. It means there's less time, and it should sh- happen in a shorter amount of time-

Lewis Howes 55:49 Mm

Dr. Joe Dispenza 55:49 ... in three-dimensional reality. And that event, it's none of your business when it's gonna happen or how it's gonna happen.

Lewis Howes 55:56 That's the key.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 55:56 Because the moment you try to predict it, you're back to the Newtonian model of reality. You're lay-

Lewis Howes 56:00 You're, you're wanting and needing again

Dr. Joe Dispenza 56:01 ... you're, you're laying a known-

Lewis Howes 56:03 Yeah

Dr. Joe Dispenza 56:03 ... over the unknown. [laughs]

Lewis Howes 56:04 Uh-huh.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 56:04 And the, and, and, and the, the, the consciousness that lives within us, that source says, "I honor free will. Go for it. Do it your way."

Lewis Howes 56:11 Yes.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 56:12 And, and so we have to lay down the very thing we used our whole life to get what we want for something greater to occur, and that's not an easy thing.

Lewis Howes 56:19 Oh, man.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 56:20 Is it? Because it's su- there's such a propensity to jump in there and do, right?

Lewis Howes 56:23 I know.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 56:23 So then to control it or force it. And we, so we control, we force, we predict, we fight for it, we manipulate, we cheat, we lie, we steal. Um, we do everything when we're matter, trying to change matter to take away that lack or separation. But if there's an alternative way to do that, to shorten the distance between one point of consciousness and another point, between cause and effect, and you start believing that you're the creator of your, your reality, you stop trying so hard. Uh, you s- you start... And people in this work, uh, I think the, the excitement for me, um, and what I'm proud of in terms of our community is that they do the work. Not because they have to or they wanna please God or do the right thing. It's not that. They don't want the magic to end in their life.

Lewis Howes 57:07 I know.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 57:07 They don't want it to end. It's not like, "Oh, geez, I gotta go create my life." It's kinda like... You know, I, um, someone sent me a text just yesterday, a very, very, very wealthy, very successful person, and he s- he said to me, "I need to take a break from creating."

Lewis Howes 57:24 [laughs]

Dr. Joe Dispenza 57:24 Like, "I'm gonna take a break. Is that okay? Is it okay?" Like, he's, his whole life has just gotten super beautiful, and he's so alive again. All these wonderful things happened. He said, "I almost, I almost don't feel worthy."

Lewis Howes 57:36 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 57:36 "I don't- almost don't feel worthy." There's so many great... And I said, "You know how many times you showed up for yourself? You are worthy. That's why it's happening."

Lewis Howes 57:43 Yes.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 57:43 You are worthy. You showed up, man. You, if you don't show up, you don't believe you're a creator. You show up, it means you do believe. And, and so many people, they, as I said, m- they may say, "Well, I think this stuff works, but I don't know if it works for me." Well, this is a big moment.

Lewis Howes 57:59 Wow.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 57:59 Because if you don't show up, then you don't believe it's possible.

Lewis Howes 58:03 Right.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 58:03 But if you show up, you still believe it's possible. So showing up for yourself every day, investing in yourself, is investing in your future. And, and people say to me, "Well, I did it for two weeks and nothing happened." I always say to them, "You're not that good."

Lewis Howes 58:16 [laughs]

Dr. Joe Dispenza 58:17 Like, "I don't know what else to tell you."

Lewis Howes 58:18 Right.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 58:18 I don't... It's not like it doesn't work for you. It's just like learn a little bit more knowledge.

Lewis Howes 58:22 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 58:23 Understand what you're do- your, your health condition isn't changing? Okay. Your, your relationship, you want a relationship and, and you want a relationship and love, and you're living the three-quarters of your day in fear?

Lewis Howes 58:35 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 58:35 You think you're, you think you're gonna attract love? You gotta be able to feel that feeling instead of fear. And when it's the hardest, it matters the most. Then you're worthy.

Lewis Howes 58:43 Right.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 58:43 You're worthy of love. You are worthy. When you get to that point where you're worthy of love, it's not like entitlement, like, "I'm, I'm worthy of love." That's not how that works. You are worthy of it. It's, it's, it's, it's, uh, you're, oh, so worthy of it you're okay without anybody. That's when it gets really good.

Lewis Howes 58:58 That's powerful. When you don't need it.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 59:01 Well, yeah, because you don't, you don't need anything.

Lewis Howes 59:03 'Cause you feel whole.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 59:04 Exactly. Now, that, I call that the natural state of being.

Lewis Howes 59:07 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 59:07 That's why we practice so much, relaxed in the heart and awake in the brain, because there are so many biological changes, neurological, genetic changes that take place in that present moment. So many wonderful changes. So the person who wants the wealth, the person who wants the relationship, they can't be saying... Or the, or the health, they can't be saying, "Well, how come I'm not healed?" The person who's, the person who's in the process of healing would never say that. That's the person, that's the old self-

Lewis Howes 59:36 Right

Dr. Joe Dispenza 59:36 ... that says, "How come I don't have a new relationship?" Well, well, figure it out. Like, two weeks went by and y- were you spending the rest of your day in fear and in lack? Were you, were you hating yourself and hating your life? What do you thinks, you think, w- you think you're worthy of love at this point? You're not gonna f- you're not gonna be happy. No one's gonna make you happy until you make you happy.

Lewis Howes 59:57 That's true.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 59:57 And that changes everything. You find that person and, and they're happy for no reason. You gotta, you... And not just happy like always happy, but, but a sensibility that they can manage themselves and manage their emotions and manage their attention in such a way that's admirable.

Lewis Howes 1:00:14 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:00:14 Like, you're inspired by that person. Your, your, your relationship, the person that you're with is an inspiration to you. Like, wow, I'm inspired by this person.

Lewis Howes 1:00:23 Yes.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:00:23 I'm moved by this person. I wanna, I wanna show up for this person. I wanna give as much as they give in this relationship. I wanna, I wanna care as much as they care. I wanna be as kind as they are. I wanna see, when everybody else reacts, this person doesn't react. Something is cool about that person. That's, that gives the person or the people that we're in relationship permission to show up differently.

Lewis Howes 1:00:47 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:00:47 And that's, that's when it becomes infectious.

Lewis Howes 1:00:49 Wow.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:00:49 That's when it becomes w- wonderful.

Lewis Howes 1:00:51 I want to ask you two final questions, 'cause I could go on for hours with you, as always. But I want, I want people to digest this, because the explanation of the The signal and the magnet, I think I want people to watch that on repeat until they truly understand it and practice it. Uh, because when you understand that, that is the game. It's figuring out how to make this happen and create this looping effect of sending out the signal with your pure intention and drawing it back in with your heart.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:01:21 And at the same time, feel f- feel, feel the emotion of your future before it happens.

Lewis Howes 1:01:27 Ooh.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:01:28 Because in the quantum-

Lewis Howes 1:01:29 It's so big

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:01:30 ... in the quantum, you gotta feel it to experience it.

Lewis Howes 1:01:32 You do.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:01:32 In three-dimension-

Lewis Howes 1:01:32 Before it's here.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:01:33 Yeah. In three-dimensional reality, you experience it-

Lewis Howes 1:01:36 When it happens

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:01:36 ... and then-

Lewis Howes 1:01:36 Yeah, yeah, yeah

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:01:37 ... you feel it afterwards. In the quantum, you gotta feel it to experience it.

Lewis Howes 1:01:39 It's- [laughs]

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:01:39 Whatever you experience in the realm beyond space and time and emotionally embrace must manifest in this space and time. It's the law.

Lewis Howes 1:01:45 Let's go. Let's go. [laughs]

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:01:48 But, but, but my point is, is that-

Lewis Howes 1:01:49 Yes

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:01:49 ... if it doesn't happen in two weeks, don't give up.

Lewis Howes 1:01:51 Yes.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:01:51 The experiment continues. What does it, what, what does that mean? It means that you gotta fill your brain with more knowledge. You gotta practice more. You gotta be more present. You can't be thinking about your coffee or you're thinking about what happened yesterday. You're not there. You're not there. You're not there. When you are there, you're not thinking. Look, think about this. If you got up feeling connected to your future emotionally, then you would say you would be feeling like your future has already happened. If you feel the emotions of your future before it happens, you would no longer look for it. You only look for it when you don't feel connected to it, 'cause you're in lack or separation. Try that out with your eyes open.

Lewis Howes 1:02:31 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:02:31 The entire day, I'm gonna sustain my energy, put more attention on my inner world, just a little bit more, relax in my heart and wake in the brain. Let me s- tune in to that future. Let me feel it when I'm at the stoplight. Let me feel it when my best friend's complaining to me. Let me feel it when I'm washing the dishes.

Lewis Howes 1:02:45 [laughs]

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:02:45 Let me just practice my own thing as an experiment. I do this just to see. The more I tune in, the more I draw it to me. It's no longer about the event. It's about, it's getting so lost in the effort, so lost in the act that the act actually creates the experience. You're too involved in what you're doing. When you default back to the old person and feel the same emotion, don't expect your life to change. You just return back to the same state of being, the same energy. There's no one or n- no person or no thing doing that in your life. If you say it's that person or that thing, you're back to being at effect in your life. So then being at cause in your life then is not trying to rush and get it done. Getting back in your life is actually being present in the moment and just try something else differently. Draw it to me. So, the brain coherence and heart coherence is producing Wi-Fi signal, and now you're connected. Now you're hooked up.

Lewis Howes 1:03:41 Right.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:03:41 When your brain is incoherent, you're incoherent. When your brain is incoherent and you have no Wi-Fi signal, you don't have a connection. When your heart is not coherent, you have no Wi-Fi signal, you have no connection. You're separate. You're, you're too far from, from the router, from the, m- m- you know, from the, the, the, the, your, your source. So g- tuning up the autonomic nervous system, tuning up the nervous system by hitting a tuning fork, by tuning into energy and frequency, keep doing that, boy, we see just really, really wonderful things. I mean, I always say to the scientists, [laughs] all those meditations on nothing, and you're getting all-

Lewis Howes 1:04:14 [laughs]

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:04:14 ... of this incredible data? There's gotta be information in that energy-

Lewis Howes 1:04:20 Yes

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:04:20 ... in that frequency that's not coming from their senses. They're not, it's not coming from the candy bar or the drug or the diet. They're not taking anything.

Lewis Howes 1:04:28 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:04:28 And yet there's information in their blood look like they were. Where is it coming from?

Lewis Howes 1:04:32 Right.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:04:32 It's coming from the field. And so when the person dials down the neocortex and moves into theta, theta's hypnosis. You're suggestible to information. But in hypnosis, you're plugged into reality with your senses, and you're getting instructions, you're hearing things, you're seeing things, and of course you're suggestible and you can, you can program a person. But the person's sitting in a meditation. Their eyes are closed. There's music playing.

Lewis Howes 1:04:55 Yes.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:04:55 They're not connected to their outer world at all, but, but they're still suggestible to information, and there's only one other place you can get information from, and that's frequency. And the more coherent the brain-

Lewis Howes 1:05:06 Mm

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:05:06 ... and the more coherent the heart, the more coherent the information. And the little gland in the back of the brain called the pineal gland and the brain's radio receiver hooks up to that frequency and that energy, and it transduces-

Lewis Howes 1:05:18 Mm-hmm

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:05:18 ... that information into profound imagery in the brain, and the person is having a transcendental moment. And that moment, they are seeing beyond the veil of this illusion of separation, and that's when they remember who they are and where they came from. That moment you can only talk around.

Lewis Howes 1:05:32 Yes.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:05:33 But it is electric. And so what if it took you six months to get there? Would it be worth it? Yeah, I would, I would say so. S- seeing, seeing what's in the blood of people who hit that moment, and there are many people that don't hit that moment and still have the same information in their blood, 84, 83, 77% of the community, it's pretty crazy.

Lewis Howes 1:05:54 That's incredible. I want everyone to go to your website, because I want them to sign up to get on your retreat.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:05:59 [laughs]

Lewis Howes 1:06:00 Because when I went there, I felt an incredible explosion of love.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:06:05 I saw.

Lewis Howes 1:06:06 I'm disconnected from my phone. It's in the hotel somewhere. I'm tapped into my heart, and I'm practicing being in my heart and feeling nothing except for the, the feeling of love for hours and hours and hours. And then I'm learning from you the science, the research, all the data. You have so many research papers now out that we'll link up that talk about here's the hard facts, the data, the peer-reviewed science that's proving that you can get incredible healing results, wholeness results that allow you to attract from the field more beautiful things in your life, not because you need them or want them, because they're available to you now because you feel-

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:06:44 It's an experiment.

Lewis Howes 1:06:44 Yeah, exactly. And, um, I want people to sign up, follow you, and practice some meditations. You know, a lot of this comes from the practice and the experiment of it, like you talked about. This isn't gonna happen if you just think from one moment at a time and then the rest of your days are anger, fear, resentment, lack.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:07:03 Do the, do the inventory.

Lewis Howes 1:07:04 Exactly. Do the inventory every night. How much time did I think about love, peace, gratitude, forgiveness versus anger, resentment, or lack?

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:07:12 And if the answer is, "Well, you don't understand, I have a reason to feel this way," then you're not there.

Lewis Howes 1:07:17 You're not there.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:07:17 You're, you're not, you're not beyond your past.

Lewis Howes 1:07:19 Exactly.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:07:20 And, and I always say justified or not- The only person that that's hurting, those emotions, is really you.

Lewis Howes 1:07:27 It is.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:07:27 It really is. And so you gotta ask yourself, "Is this loving to me?" And this is the beginning of your relationship with yourself.

Lewis Howes 1:07:33 Absolutely.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:07:34 And, and self-forgiveness is so important. Not self-forgiveness like, okay, go, go out and do it again.

Lewis Howes 1:07:39 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:07:39 But like, what did I learn? Do I really wanna end up here every day? Do I really wanna end up in the same place? I don't want this.

Lewis Howes 1:07:44 Right.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:07:45 Okay. So then what would you tell your kid if he didn't want? Well, change. Change that. Like, how do I change it? Well, stop it. You wanna be happy, stop being unhappy.

Lewis Howes 1:07:54 Right.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:07:54 Life's really simple.

Lewis Howes 1:07:55 Right.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:07:55 And so the unlearning process, the breaking the habit process, the overcoming process, nobody likes to talk about because it is the overcoming process-

Lewis Howes 1:08:04 It's hard

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:08:05 ... that is the becoming process.

Lewis Howes 1:08:06 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:08:06 That woman who broke through and her heart blew wide open, and she was abused as a child, boy, she, she was so happy with herself. She w- she, she saw herself when she was ready to give up and say, "I can't go any further," because emotion was so hard. She went one more time and her heart opened up. She was so incredibly free after that moment.

Lewis Howes 1:08:32 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:08:33 She, she literally moved out of her past into her present moment, and she, when she was making that decision, when she saw like all the days that she never missed a meditation and, and she fell in love with that person. She fell in love with that person, and it was that future self that was drawing that past self to her in love.

Lewis Howes 1:08:53 Incredible.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:08:53 There's a future you, there's a future me that already exists that's more mystical-

Lewis Howes 1:08:57 It's crazy

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:08:57 ... more loving, more abundant, more free, more unlimited, more genius, more cool, and it's you, right? And, and so the overcoming process then is the difficult process because so many people would rather just get on their cellphone, get distracted, scroll through TikTok or social media, just regulate their emotions by something else. They're not conscious they're doing that, but that's what they're doing. In this case, we're asking you to do it on your own.

Lewis Howes 1:09:22 Yes.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:09:22 Right? And so, so you're sitting through the fire and you're not going for the cellphone. Man, it's, it's, it's like you're, you're, you're, you're, you're in the river of change-

Lewis Howes 1:09:32 Yeah. Oh, man

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:09:33 ... and, and it's uncomfortable, and it's uncertain, and there's unpredictability, and it's the unknown. But man, that is the place to create from.

Lewis Howes 1:09:39 Absolutely.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:09:40 Not from the known, from the unknown. So getting people into that place where they're uncomfortable and okay with it and understanding that there is a future that, that already exists, you just have to become it, right? Become that person. So it's not your wealth, it's who you become. It's not your health, it's who you become. You can ask the people who healed. Ask the people who are abundant. They'll say, "No, no, no, no. No, that wasn't it." And you can talk to the people who had really profound, instantaneous healings. Instantaneous healings. I can get them on a stage, and for 10 minutes they're talking about how amazing they feel from the experience.

Lewis Howes 1:10:09 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:10:09 And finally I say to them, "Will you, will you tell the audience, 'Oh, yeah, I was blind and now I can see. Oh, yeah, I had Parkinson's, now I don't have any?'" Like, the, the event is more powerful than their healing. The healing is consequence of them overcoming, right?

Lewis Howes 1:10:24 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:10:24 It is. It's the overcoming process that is the becoming process. That's the relearning process.

Lewis Howes 1:10:27 Yeah.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:10:27 That's the reinvention process, right? And that's, that's what we live for. And so we overcome our fear. We overcome our resentment. We overcome our anger, our betrayal, and we become something else. We, we're moving closer to source. We're moving closer to love. And it's not something that you have to try to do. It's just who you become. It's not like you have to try to forgive. You just feel so good you don't wanna feel anything else.

Lewis Howes 1:10:50 Right.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:10:50 Right? And, and, and you're more resilient and you're, you're more healthy. You're more whole. Imagine like, uh, people who are super wealthy, a lot of times they say to me, and we're talking billions, they say, "We're miserable."

Lewis Howes 1:11:03 The wealthy, wealthy.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:11:03 "We're, we're in agony." And I say, "Why?" And they say, "'Cause well, I can't enjoy a sunset anymore."

Lewis Howes 1:11:07 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:11:07 "I can't relax. I don't know how to do that. Like, I, I don't know how to do that. I can't even appreciate life." And yet somehow when we overcome ourselves and we feel more love, we're more prone to give. Why? Because we want people to feel the way we feel.

Lewis Howes 1:11:22 Yes.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:11:22 It's not like I'm doing this to, to, to, to please anybody. I'm, I feel so good, I, I want you to feel the way I feel. Like, so the only way I can do that is to give you what I have, and I feel so good, I'm happy to give it away. Like, I don't know. Imagine a world like that, you know? So, so falling in love with yourself is falling in love with life, right? And falling in love with life is falling in love with yourself. Whatever it is that's standing in the way between you and love, that's the journey.

Lewis Howes 1:11:48 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:11:49 That's the journey. 'Cause it, 'cause pure love is source, right?

Lewis Howes 1:11:52 Yes.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:11:52 It is, it's pure consciousness. So as I said at the beginning, uh, that in order for us to find love, a part of us must die, or anything that's not love in us must die. And that, and that, that, that biological, neurological, chemical, hormonal, genetic death of the self has to occur for something to be reborn. That's the phoenix-

Lewis Howes 1:12:12 Wow

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:12:12 ... rising from the ashes. And it's not like someone's gonna do it for you. Nobody's gonna choose you. That you h- you are endowed with the free will as pure consciousness, as a creator that has fallen from source to such a degree of separation you have your own free will to create reality any way you want. So then your job then is to reinvent whatever that is in your life, whatever that dream is. And I, and I say to people all the time, "I don't care what it is. I don't care. Whatever it is you want, I'm totally cool with that as long as you know how to create."

Lewis Howes 1:12:44 Mm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:12:44 And as you get good at this and you start having the things you want, then the only thing you wanna do is give back. The only thing you wanna do-

Lewis Howes 1:12:49 Right

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:12:49 ... is make a difference. And the, and the side effect of that is people would start taking care of people. And in our community, you know, we, we inform one another. We, we respect one another. We honor one another. We support one another. We heal one another. We shine for one another so others can shine. That's the emergent consciousness. And, and that collective group of people that's bound together in a different energy, a different frequency, that is, that, that glue creates a, a community, a c- a collective network.

Lewis Howes 1:13:15 Yes.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:13:16 And I think that that then, uh, is, is what people are looking for in the world.

Lewis Howes 1:13:21 If... I want people to follow everything you're doing. It's inspiring. It's amazing. Get Dr. Joe's meditations. Sign up for your newsletter so you can be informed about everything you have going on. You've got- ... uh, research papers coming out. You've got a walk that people can be a part of, you know, m- depending on when this interview comes out, um, to, to continue to inspire and bring people together to transform from the inside out. You've got incredible books that are transformational. I want people to get everything. Uh, so check it out. I've, I've been to a lot of... For the last 11 years, I've done a lot of different workshops, I've done a lot of meditation retreats, I've been to India, I've done, you know, I've done so many different things. I've done extreme cold, extreme heat. I've done a lot of different healing modalities, therapies. And the thing that I love about your work is you bring practical style of meditation that people've heard meditation for a long time, but you bring it in a unique way from all your experiences and from all the science and research that you've done and proven with other outside scientists and researchers to show, "Here are the actual results." So you give evidence, you give data, you give testimonials, you give so many examples of how these things work in different cases in life. So when you teach, you know, science and the mystical, you marry the two and allow people to receive it with the information while experiencing something that's unknown to them, where they believe more, and when they believe more, they can recreate that more, and then they can spread the message more to others. So there's something beautiful about your work that I wanna appreciate and acknowledge you for, uh, 'cause that's the first time I've seen you since the event, even though we've texted-

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:15:09 Yeah

Lewis Howes 1:15:09 ... and messaged a few times, but it was such an incredibly powerful seven-day experience, and I just want everyone... I hope everyone gets the opportunity to experience it someday. You've got courses online that people can learn a lot of this information from as well, and, uh, there's just so many resources you have on your website, so we'll have that linked up. Here's... My final question for you on this, um, you know, maybe I can convince you in a year or two to do another one about level C, but my question for this, I have a shirt that I got at your event that someone gave me, and it's based on a mantra that you said over and over again in this seven-day experience, and the question is: What would love do? So I wanna throw that question back to you. This is something you say to everyone in your retreats. What would love do? I'm curious, how do you answer that for yourself?

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:16:00 Um, God, you know, I'm a mission-driven person. Um, I've had, uh, all kinds of things in my life, um, and there's not a whole lot of things, uh, that I have meaning for aside from the people that I, that are close to me and that I love. But what I really love is making a difference in people's lives. I think, I think, I think that's innate in us. I think that it's so much easier to clean your neighbor's garage than your own. I don't know why that is. We're wired to take care of one another, you know? And, and, um, so for me, um, what love does, what, what, what love does is for, number one, being the example, doing the work and being the example of everything that I teach. I think that's, that's important for me. But then I'm a mission-driven person and, and I think that in only, in the way we, my mission is to change individuals, to somehow, uh, change their lives and ultimately empower people in some way to, to create a different world. And so, um, I, I work just like, uh, just like anybody else, uh, to move closer to it. I practice all the things that, that I teach. Uh, and I, and I, and I, and I do find incredible value in being part of transformation. I think that, that I think when you witness a mother whose child has been, uh, autistic for years stand on a stage and tell her story in tears and tell... You know, I think s- the people that were part of that coherence healing, that were actually changed that kid's life, changed the mother's life, I think the greatest form of gratitude that we can ever feel is receiving gratitude.

Lewis Howes 1:17:28 Mm-hmm.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:17:29 And when we receive gratitude, something really profound happens. You're part of someone's transformation. It's tribal, and we tend to switch on networks in the brain that cause us to move closer together, to commune, to become more social. And the side effect is that we become more appreciative. We appreciate life. We appreciate the moment. And, and, um, people who do, as an example, the coherence healings, that's what love does. Like, that's what love does, and they're not doing it to sh- hang a shingle out there to say-

Lewis Howes 1:17:58 Mm

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:17:58 ... "I'm a healer or a life coach." They're doing it because they're getting so much out of the experience. They're, they're, they're a part of a person's change in s- empathy.

Lewis Howes 1:18:07 Yes.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:18:07 This kind of human empathy awakens, where you, you realize that we're all connected on some level. We're, we're wholeness in parts, you know? Every individual's part of the whole, and if we change enough individuals, we can change the whole. And whatever that point is, I don't know, but for me, what love does in some way is to be the example in our lives, to show people what it looks like-

Lewis Howes 1:18:31 Mm

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:18:31 ... uh, um, to, to, to be something other than what's normal and natural, different from the collective consciousness in some way, and dare to be original enough. You know, in the beginning, you'll be considered foolhardy and insane, and you pull it off, and then you're a genius. You're-

Lewis Howes 1:18:46 Right

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:18:46 ... mystic, right? And then so, so I'm sure that many people in this work that faced off with their family and friends when they were given a hard diagnosis had to come up to terms with themselves and, and, and really look to see, like, "Do I love myself enough to do this?" And, and showing up every day and falling in love with yourself every day is a great antidote, uh, for the h- for the healing process.

Lewis Howes 1:19:11 Yes.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:19:11 So for me, I wanna be... I, I, I watched a woman open her eyes for the first time in Cancun and saw for the first time. I was standing right there. I wanted to be there. I wanted to be... I wanted to celebrate with her. I wanted to be right there in that moment when she opened her eyes. I wanted to be right there. I wanted to ex- I wanted to experience her joy. I wanted to ex- I wanted to celebrate with her. Like, to me, that's the gift of life. That is what... I think that's what love does and, and, and the, the effect of love is caring and kindness and healing and connection. No judgment, no conditions. Uh, it's something, it's something, uh... It's, it's a never-ending process of discovery.

Lewis Howes 1:19:48 Yeah.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:19:48 Right? And, and every mystical experience I've had, um, that, where I felt profound feelings, um, has always led me to the understanding that I, there can't be any more love-

Lewis Howes 1:20:00 Mm

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:20:00 ... to this, u- until the next one.

Lewis Howes 1:20:02 But then there is more.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:20:02 And then there is more. I'm like, I'm like, "My God."

Lewis Howes 1:20:04 That's great.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:20:04 "Man, am I have just shaded myself." So, so then surrendering fully to love, right? Surrendering fully to love every day is a mystery. Where does it lead me? I don't know. Um, but the unknown has never let me down up until this point.

Lewis Howes 1:20:20 Wow. Uh.

Dr. Joe Dispenza 1:20:20 So, um, that, uh, that brings me, uh, for me, the greatest joy, to somehow, uh, make a difference in people's lives. And the body which has been conditioned to be the mind is 95% of who we are, right, by the time we're in the middle of our life. So there's David and Goliath, and the body's just saying, "Look, you think you've been making all your decisions your whole life? Actually, you haven't." The body has been making these decisions because it's the mind. So then the body says, "Okay, I-