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Lewis HowesGabrielle Bernstein on How to Turn Fear into Faith with Lewis Howes
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Chapter summaries
Why Gabby wrote a fear-to-faith book during her hardest year
Lewis introduces Gabrielle Bernstein and her book, "The Universe Has Your Back." Gabby explains she wrote this book primarily for herself while going through what she describes as the worst year of her life, and that the writing process became part of her healing.
- •Lewis welcomes Gabby and highlights her new book focused on transforming fear into faith
- •Gabby says she used to write for readers but this time wrote the book for herself
- •She describes writing under deadline while personally falling apart
- •She frames the book as both created during crisis and functioning as the remedy
Success on the outside, rock bottom on the inside: confronting the “shadow”
Lewis questions how someone with public success could hit a deeper bottom than addiction. Gabby says hidden parts of her "shadow" and repressed memories needed to come forward so she could become truly free.
- •Lewis lists Gabby’s external markers of success and asks how she still hit rock bottom
- •Gabby describes unearthing hidden parts of herself and memories she didn’t know
- •She recounts a cycle of breakdowns and getting back up while still producing the book
- •She says daily commitment to writing about love and higher power kept her in remembrance
Recovered trauma memory: childhood sexual abuse and the start of deep healing
Gabby describes recognizing she was cracking into a traumatic memory that had been shut away for decades. She shares that the memory was of childhood sexual abuse, and emphasizes how physically and emotionally horrifying trauma remembrance can be.
- •Gabby links the resurfacing memory to the origins of her earlier drug addiction
- •Major life changes (control shifts, desire for a baby, husband joining the business) triggered fear and loss of control
- •She recalls the memory arriving around the time she submitted the manuscript
- •She describes being in therapy and using trauma-support modalities available to her
- •She expresses gratitude for remembering because it allows freedom and release
Lewis shares his own experience and recognizes Gabby’s new calm
Lewis relates to Gabby’s story by sharing his own history of keeping trauma inside and reacting with aggression. He observes that Gabby seems calmer than he has ever seen her, and Gabby agrees this calm is new.
- •Lewis talks about hiding his experience for decades and the protective aggression it created
- •They discuss how trauma can fuel achievement and the need to be seen
- •Lewis notes this is the first time he’s seen Gabby truly calm, even during a launch
- •Gabby says the last time they saw each other was right before she remembered the trauma
- •They connect the new calm to increased openness and capacity to connect
Work addiction as a “socially praised” mask for trauma—and learning to accept help
Gabby describes realizing that nonstop work functioned as numbing, similar to substance use. She says she “diagnosed” herself with work addiction and explains how letting others support her—especially hiring a team and letting her husband run the business—changed her life.
- •Gabby compares early trauma recovery to something even more brutal than recovering from cocaine addiction
- •She notices work became her new numbing behavior despite 11 years of sobriety
- •She calls work addiction under-discussed and often rewarded in entrepreneurial culture
- •She ties addiction broadly to trauma and defines addiction as powerlessness and life becoming unmanageable
- •She describes hiring many people, letting go of control, and focusing on creating content and speaking
A practical fear practice: witness resistance, drop judgment, and ask for guidance
Lewis asks for the first step to transforming fear, and Gabby emphasizes witnessing fear without judgment. She describes fear as resistance and says that willingness to see it differently opens people to finding tools, teachers, and solutions.
- •Gabby frames fear as resistance to what you desire
- •She stresses being a nonjudgmental witness: “If you don’t show up for what’s up, it will keep showing up”
- •She suggests a willingness prayer/affirmation: being willing to see the fear differently and being shown what to do
- •She says solutions appear through people—books, podcasts, teachers, therapists—once you open awareness
- •Lewis echoes the need to acknowledge fear and then practice action despite discomfort
Healing is ongoing: saying yes to help, rebuilding, and refusing victimhood
Gabby says she’s still in early recovery from trauma and rebuilding multiple areas of life. She recounts a dinner conversation where mentorship was offered, and she recognized it as an answered prayer—requiring her to say yes despite resistance.
- •Gabby says healing is ongoing: body, relationships, and sexual energy are still being addressed
- •She expresses compassion for how trauma can ruin lives and says she is rebuilding hers
- •She states she won’t be a victim and intends to survive and thrive
- •She describes resistance when offered mentorship and realizing it matched what she’d been praying for
- •She emphasizes acting on guidance when it appears—saying yes is a key step
Marriage transformation: masks, masculinity/femininity, and deeper intimacy
Lewis asks how Gabby’s “mask” affected her husband and whether she hurt him through years of disconnection. Gabby says her healing allowed both partners to take down their masks, describes her husband’s transformation, and discusses learning to “dance” between masculine and feminine energies in a relationship.
- •Gabby says unhealed trauma can activate wounds in a partner and create defensiveness, sadness, and frustration
- •She describes her husband’s major transformation after leaving private equity to run their business
- •Gabby says she was mostly in masculine energy because vulnerability didn’t feel safe
- •They discuss how stage vulnerability existed, but control returned offstage
- •Gabby describes shifting into feminine energy and letting men support and “show up”
- •She reports their relationship has deeper connection, respect, and renewed love, grounded in doing personal growth work
What a spiritual practice looks like: devotion, prayer, meditation, and “constant prayer”
Lewis asks what it means to have a spiritual practice, and Gabby explains it as daily devotion to alignment with God/universe/spirit. She describes structured time for prayer and meditation plus ongoing moment-to-moment asking for help seeing situations differently.
- •Gabby defines spiritual practice as a personal relationship to higher power of one’s own understanding
- •She describes daily prayer/meditation and making time to listen
- •She says she tries to reconnect again in the afternoon because the day can pull you off-center
- •She describes “constant prayer” as offering up challenges and asking to see differently
- •She notes her book includes many prayers, especially around surrender
When life is devastating: faith amid suffering and the choice to lean into love
Lewis challenges the idea of “the universe has your back” with examples of war and overwhelming hardship. Gabby responds that faith is most needed in those moments, argues the root problem is belief in fear, and points to examples in her book of people choosing light in darkness—while also emphasizing responsibility for those with resources to show up for others.
- •Lewis asks how to believe the universe supports you when life offers no break, citing war and daily devastation
- •Gabby says without faith, people lose what they’re living for, and acknowledges the reality of suffering
- •She frames the spiritual root issue as believing in fear, which fuels division and injustice
- •She references people she writes about who chose love/faith in dark moments and created movements
- •She emphasizes responsibility for people with resources to show up and support those who lack them
Letting go creates freedom: reducing resistance to receive support
Lewis asks about the paradox of gaining freedom and certainty by releasing control. Gabby says she’s living it during her biggest launch yet, describing more relaxation, faith, receptivity, and willingness to accept help, and explaining that resistance blocks support.
- •Gabby says her biggest launch has also been her most relaxed and aligned
- •She describes being more forgiving when things go wrong and more open to help
- •She states “you can speed up by slowing down,” linking this to reduced resistance
- •She defines resistance as fear-based belief systems and low-energy patterns that block receiving
- •She says shedding resistance increases ability to genuinely receive guidance and support
Worthiness, judgment, and self-love: reframing comparison into reflected light
Lewis asks how women who feel unworthy can build confidence and self-love. Gabby suggests reframing admiration as recognizing one’s own light, and she and Lewis discuss judgment as a form of avoidance and how creating something can interrupt judging.
- •Gabby reframes comparison: what you admire in others can reflect your own light
- •She urges dropping separation and judgment that keep people from authentic power
- •She calls judgment a disowned part of the shadow and describes it as addictive
- •Lewis notes it’s hard to create and judge at the same time and suggests creation reduces judgment
- •Gabby affirms the idea: “Get into creation and you’ll be out of judgment”
Three truths, ‘I am love,’ and defining greatness as authentic truth
Lewis asks his signature “three truths” question and a few closing prompts. Gabby shares core spiritual principles centered on love and compassion, offers the phrase she’d want to see daily, shares a couple personal skills, and ends with her definition of greatness.
- •Gabby’s three truths emphasize ever-present love, compassion, and choosing love
- •She says she’d tattoo “I am love” for a daily mirror reminder
- •She shares personal “special skills,” including riding a unicycle and loving cooking as meditation
- •Lewis acknowledges her willingness to heal and her transformation
- •Gabby defines greatness as standing in your authentic truth
