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Lewis HowesStop Saying "Hope." It's Quietly Blocking Everything You Want (Here's What to Say Instead) | Jo Koy
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EVERY SPOKEN WORD
85 min read · 16,949 words- 0:00 – 1:04
Intro
- JKJo Koy
I remember reading, like, this article, pretty sure it was Aerosmith. They said that they used to make their own flyers and Xerox copy them, and they would put it on, uh, windshields everywhere. After I read that, I literally went to Kinko's and taught myself how to make a flyer.
- LHLewis Howes
Really?
- JKJo Koy
And to this day, look, I can show you a text. I asked my, my guy, "I, I need 10,000 Fliers for Netflix 'cause I'm about to pass these out."
- LHLewis Howes
Right now?
- JKJo Koy
Yeah, I don't give a [beep] . I'll stick it in a car window. I don't... I am humble.
- LHLewis Howes
He's a stand-up comedian, actor, and producer with multiple sold-out Netflix specials. He's shattered box office records at some of the biggest arenas in the world. This is Jo Koy.
- JKJo Koy
The one thing I never say is hope or hopefully. You'll never hear me say it. It doesn't even process. Especially with what we do, I feel like when you say hope-
- LHLewis Howes
Oh, man
- JKJo Koy
... you're, you're asking for something else other than your own talent.
- LHLewis Howes
But how did you get the confidence to-
- JKJo Koy
I don't know
- LHLewis Howes
... like-
- JKJo Koy
'Cause I was so insecure.
- LHLewis Howes
Really?
- JKJo Koy
Mm-hmm.
- LHLewis Howes
What were you insecure about?
- JKJo Koy
Um, well, I...
- LHLewis Howes
As one of the best in the world at
- 1:04 – 1:53
Transferring Energy on Stage
- LHLewis Howes
what you do, you transfer energy-
- JKJo Koy
Thank you
- LHLewis Howes
... so well, whether it be in person, one-to-one, one-to-many in front of thousands of people, um, or hundreds of thousands of people i- in person, or to millions of people on a screen. You transfer energy, and it's very hard for anyone to do that well. It's hard for comedians to do that well-
- JKJo Koy
Yeah
- LHLewis Howes
... effectively, consistently, and it's hard for just everyday human beings to transfer energy well. Did you always know how to transfer energy well when you were younger growing up, or is this a skill that you had to learn through trial and error or through failure and defeat and trials that you experienced?
- JKJo Koy
You, you know what's crazy is when I was a, a kid [laughs] , like, when I was, like, five or six, I'm not even making this
- 1:53 – 6:26
Born for Comedy
- JKJo Koy
up, I already knew I was really funny.
- LHLewis Howes
Really?
- JKJo Koy
Yeah, it was the weirdest thing 'cause... And my mom would always be like, "Oh, Jo is so funny," and my dad always laughed at everything, you know? Uh, and, and, like, if they had parties, it, the, it, I'd be funny. I knew that there was a group of people laughing. L- Uh, it's something that I would do, and then I knew I had that skill set because, uh, my dad was in the military. So every three years, four years, we were bouncing, but I didn't care 'cause, like, in my head, I already knew, "I'm gonna be the funny one in, in the school." Like, I, right away, "I'm gonna be the funny guy at the school. I'm gonna be the funny guy at the school." So I wasn't... I was never sad that I was leaving a group of friends. I was happy 'cause I knew I could get new friends.
- LHLewis Howes
Mm-hmm.
- JKJo Koy
Does that make sense?
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- JKJo Koy
It was the weirdest thing, and there was this one elementary school called Elk Plain Elementary, and I was moving from the Philippines, and I remember we were so sad leaving 'cause my dad got an extension in the Philippines for another year, and we stayed for one more year 'cause we were begging him, "Please don't leave." But that was it. That was as far as he could get it, and then we had to move to, uh, Tacoma, Washington. And I remember I was so sad, but then that excite, uh, that, that sadness turned into excitement.
- LHLewis Howes
Mm-hmm.
- JKJo Koy
'Cause I remember I was like, "Oh, I'm gonna be so funny." Like, "Everyone's gonna... Like, everyone's gonna think I'm the funny guy." Like, I remember saying that.
- LHLewis Howes
Now, did you think, "I'm gonna be funny," even though you're switching countries and cultures? Did you believe like, "Oh, I'm gonna come to America, and I'm gonna be funny"?
- JKJo Koy
Yeah.
- LHLewis Howes
You just believed it at eight years old or something?
- JKJo Koy
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- LHLewis Howes
Really?
- JKJo Koy
Yeah. Well, you remember, I'm military, too.
- LHLewis Howes
Oh.
- JKJo Koy
So, but... And, and, and, like, the Philippines has always been bilingual.
- LHLewis Howes
Oh.
- JKJo Koy
Like, they speak English better than Americans, man.
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah.
- JKJo Koy
You know what I mean? Like, very articulate. They get all the humor. You know what I mean? So it was there. It was... And I was speaking Tagalog, which was crazy 'cause we were living there, and, uh, my aunts lived there. So it was, it was cool. It was a good time back then, and, uh, but I remember coming back to the States just, like, I was excited. I was excited to, like, see, like, this new school and be the funny guy at the school. I swear it was the craziest thing. Like, if you look at my, my junior high after sixth grade, seventh, eighth, and ninth, I went to Spanaway Junior High. Class clown, class, class clown. Like, seventh, eighth, ninth, it was always me, the funny guy. It was... And I knew it, like, right away. I mean, sixth grade, seventh grade, that's when I was listening to Richard Pryor and-
- LHLewis Howes
Hmm
- JKJo Koy
... and watching Eddie Murphy. Like, I was watching Eddie, you know, do Delirious. Like, already, I already knew I wanted to be a stand-up comic at that age.
- LHLewis Howes
Was, was there ever a time where you weren't funny?
- JKJo Koy
I mean, yeah. I mean, always not funny. [laughs]
- LHLewis Howes
Really?
- JKJo Koy
Yeah. There's times where you're, you're trying to figure out the audience. You're trying to learn. You know what I mean? And then that's all just how it is. That's just... That's, that's what I love about stand-up is, uh, that moment where you have to figure out, uh, how much you love it.
- LHLewis Howes
Hmm.
- JKJo Koy
And it always comes out going, "Nah, I love this," and you just keep pushing. [laughs]
- LHLewis Howes
Even if you weren't funny that night or that day?
- 6:26 – 13:20
Why Failing is Essential
- LHLewis Howes
if you bomb when you begin, affect who you are as a person and your identity?
- JKJo Koy
I mean, that's, that's what makes us strong is like the failure. Like everyone fails, you know what I mean? But like it's, it's when you don't try-
- LHLewis Howes
Mm
- JKJo Koy
... is truly when you fail. So it's like if you're thinking about something and you decide not to do it, to me that's failing.
- LHLewis Howes
Mm.
- JKJo Koy
But if, if the opportunity arises and you accept the challenge and you fail, then you won.
- LHLewis Howes
Mm-hmm.
- JKJo Koy
Does that make any sense?
- LHLewis Howes
100%.
- JKJo Koy
'Cause I know a lot of motherfuckers that pass on because they're too scared to do it. You know what I mean?
- LHLewis Howes
That's the real failure.
- JKJo Koy
To me, that's failure.
- LHLewis Howes
Mm-hmm.
- JKJo Koy
To me, that's just, it's cowardice. You know what I mean? I don't mean that in a mean way.
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah, yeah.
- JKJo Koy
But it's like I think that's what I love about comics so much, that yeah, we do put ourselves in situations like that and then we do also say, "Oh well." We do that a lot, and we don't care.
- LHLewis Howes
But some people care, right? If they bomb, they really care about how people perceive them.
- JKJo Koy
Then that taps into a new, uh, a new era or a new generation of people with social media type feelings. Do you really care about what they say? Or do you look at a, a sold out SoFi Stadium and go, "Well, I guess it doesn't really matter what you said."
- LHLewis Howes
Right.
- JKJo Koy
'Cause it doesn't make sense.
- LHLewis Howes
Mm-hmm.
- JKJo Koy
You know what I mean?
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah.
- JKJo Koy
So that's how I look at it. It's like, I mean, we, we live in a time where yeah, it's, it's like, uh, things is, things are accessible. Everyone has a voice now. And you, you just take it with a grain of salt.
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah.
- JKJo Koy
It's like wh- you gotta remember it's like we're, we're all supposed to fail. You know what I mean?
- LHLewis Howes
Mm-hmm.
- JKJo Koy
Like you, you're not gonna sit there and tell me Michael Jordan sucks because he lost to Larry Bird when he scored 63 points. I dare you to say it. [laughs]
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah, exactly.
- JKJo Koy
Exactly. It's like you're, you're, you're joking right now.
- 13:20 – 23:01
Sneaking Onto BET's Comic View
- JKJo Koy
guide. One of the tour guides was like, "Hey, BET's here." I go, "What?" "Well, yeah, they're at the, the Country Star." It's like some kind of restaurant. I'm like, "Get the out. I'm there." And I literally asked my manager if I can go home early 'cause the show was at 8:00, and I knew we worked until like 7:00 something, 30. I need to get home. So I was like, "Can I please just get out of here at, like, 5:30 and, uh, leave early so I can just go home and change and put on a suit?" 'Cause I-- Eddie Murphy said, "I always wore a suit." That's what he always said, and he goes, "I always wore a suit," when he was, like, a kid. He was, like, in high school and he was wearing a suit, and he goes, "Every gig I got I wore a suit." So I was like, "Oh, I gotta put on a suit." Like, this is a big gig. So I, I drove all the way home. You know, this is Las Vegas. It's like 120 degrees. No AC. I was a tour guide all day. I'm covered in sweat. I don't even take a shower. I just put this suit on [laughs] and get back in the car. This fake resume that says Catch a Rising Star 'cause I found a, uh, uh, I found a, a folder at, at Catch a Rising Star. They had a stack, and he, he gave it to me. The manager gave me a whole stack. I go, "I'm gonna put my resume in this," and I put a, a resume that I made [laughs] and a headshot that my dad took. It was-- All of it was awful, and I brought it and I, and I, I went to Country Star, and there was this line wrapped around the building. For auditions or- No, no. It was a show. Okay. Like, people were-- It was a- You were trying to get in to perform? Yeah. Yeah, and I, and I walked all the way to the front, and a security guard was standing there, and security guards never help, right? Security guards don't give a. "Go wait in line." Yeah, yeah. And I, and I go, "Hey, man. Uh, I'm a local comedian, and my name's Jo Koy," and I showed him my resume. [laughs] It was a resume. I go, "Uh, is there any way I could just speak to the promoter? 'Cause I'd love to warm up. Just, like, if I could do crowd warm-up or whatever. Like, a lot of people know who I am here." No one knew who I was. Oh. [laughs] And he-- And literally he looked me at the face. I still know what he looks like. He was a big, heavyset guy with dreads, and he goes, "I'll be right back." And, and he left. He left the door and went and got the promoter, and her name was Yvette Anderson. She's still my friend to this day. Shut up. Swear to God. Her name is Yvette Anderson. What did you say to her? She came right up to the door and she goes, uh, she goes, "Hi." I handed her my resume. I go, "I'm a local comic. Is there any way I could do warm-up? Like, like, I know your show is booked, but, like, I could warm up while they're getting ready and while you're sitting people. Just if I can go up. I love BET. Like, it would be an honor just to go up and just warm the crowd up." And then she goes, "Oh, we already have the show booked, and-- but, you know, you're more than welcome to come in, and I'll hold onto your resume 'cause we're-- this is a tour. We're coming back to Vegas, and I'll, I'll look at your stuff." I go, "Yeah, I would love to go in," right? And this is, like, '90-- I'm making up a number, but it was, like, '97, right? '97-ish, right? Late '90s, yeah. Yeah. So she s- she brings me to her booth, and she sits me down, and she's got ca-- Remember, this is '97. She's got cameras like that, but studio camera. Big. Canon. Big. Like, the XLR Canons, right? Like, it was-- And I couldn't believe my eyes. Like, on sticks like those too, right? And I was just, like, looking at them like, like, "Oh my God, this is real." Like, I've never seen a studio camera before. So I'm looking at this and I'm like, "Oh, is that-- Is this, this is how they shoot the show, man?" Like, I was tripping, and I was so excited, and it was just packed. And then all of a sudden, all the comics are late. [laughs] They're not there. This is crazy as. She says, "Go up." She literally l-- And the crowd's going crazy. They're like, "Start this show. What the It's 8:35. Start this " And I'm literally like, my-- I'm smiling from ear to ear because I know, like, bro, she's gonna need me [laughs] 'cause they're not here. So you're just like, "Hey, I'm ready. Let me go up there." And she walks right up to me and she goes, "Can you go up?" Shut up. Swear. And she goes, "Can you go up for, for, like, five minutes or until they get here?" I go, "Yeah." I go, "Can you please record it?" I, I go, "If you record this it'd be the grea-- That's all I want, if you record this." And she goes, "Hold on. Let me set it up." Oh my gosh. And she literally set up and pressed record. [laughs] And she goes, "Can you go up?" She had no one introducing me. I had to literally walk up. Oh, by the way, I had that suit on, so it was crazy. [laughs] I have it all on video. Oh my gosh. I have it all on video, and I walk up, do my set. Fucking standing ovation. Shut up. This is back in the day when people do the raise the roof. Oh, yeah. And you'll see this one Black lady doing this in front-- [laughs] It was the coolest thing. And, uh, and I walk offstage and it's Bo Pe, who-- It's, like, one of my favorite comics that was on BET all the time. His name's Bo Pe, and Yvette were standing right there. And Bo Pe got, like, that Southern twang. He got, like, a Louisiana accent like that. And he goes, "Hey, man. Who the are you?" [laughs] I go, "Jo Koy, man. I, I'm a local comic here." He's like, "Okay, man. That was wild. That was amazing. You ever, you ever watch BET?" I go, "Yeah." He goes, "You on." You on next week.
- LHLewis Howes
Shut up.
- JKJo Koy
I swear to God. And I'm literally-- I, I went to work, and I go, uh... I remember asking my manager, I'm like: "Hey, I need next week off. I'm, I'm doing BET's [laughs] Comic View." No one could believe I got it, and now I'm on BET's Comic View. And then I get, uh, a standing O on BET's Comic View. I was number 28 out of 28-- oh, no, I was number 27 out of 28 comics. We started filming at 10:00 in the morning, and I, I don't think I got on stage until, like, 11:30 that night.
- LHLewis Howes
That was-
- JKJo Koy
Gary Owen, Gary Owen was the host. You should bring Gary on this show 'cause he's amazing, too. And Gary Owen was the host. And we'd never met each other, and, uh, he went up, killed. I went out there, murdered.
- LHLewis Howes
[laughs]
- JKJo Koy
I murdered it, and then that's how I met, uh, uh, just some, you know, like, Black comics that were, like, that, that were doing things. And I met, uh, a couple guys in that. Uh, I met this one guy named, uh... God, what was his name? Oh, I met Honest John. He's a white comic, right? And Honest John was like: "Hey, you need to call this guy." Right? He had this thing where he could get you on, uh, into colleges.
- LHLewis Howes
Mm-hmm.
- JKJo Koy
All right?
- LHLewis Howes
College tour. Yeah, yeah.
- JKJo Koy
College tour, but it was the Black, uh, what do you call it? College-
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah
- JKJo Koy
... program, whatever.
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah.
- JKJo Koy
Like the, the-
- LHLewis Howes
All-Black colleges? Yeah.
- JKJo Koy
Not the all-Black colleges. Like, you know, you... the, the Black, uh, fraternities or whatever.
- LHLewis Howes
Okay.
- JKJo Koy
So they would hire famous Black comics that they saw on BET and Def Jam.
- LHLewis Howes
Mm-hmm.
- JKJo Koy
Right?
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah.
- JKJo Koy
And, and they would come perform at these-
- LHLewis Howes
Fraternities or something.
- JKJo Koy
Yeah, whatever, right? And they'd be beautiful shows. They'd rent out the-- They'd get the theater at, like, University of Houston, University of North Carolina. Now I'm opening for these famous Black comics, like Sommore, and Michael Blackson, and JB Smoove. Like, all of them. This is before JB Smoove was on Curb Your Enthusiasm. Oh, this, this is just JB Smoove from Def Jam.
- LHLewis Howes
Wow.
- JKJo Koy
Like, this is the '90s, and I'm opening for all these cats, right?
- LHLewis Howes
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- JKJo Koy
So now, now I'm making money off of this. I'm getting, like, 800 a show, right? Plus they're flying me out, right? So that's how I got that. So now I meet them. [laughs] This is crazy. Honest John, actually, I met Honest John on the Black college circuit. I met... How I got on the Black circuit was, I think, Yvette Anderson.
- LHLewis Howes
Mm-hmm.
- 23:01 – 30:05
Winning the Apollo
- JKJo Koy
He's eating something. Just eating, like, a muffin or something. So he got food on his lips.
- LHLewis Howes
[laughs]
- JKJo Koy
And he's just like, "Hey, Honest John said you really funny." And I'm like, "Yeah." He goes, "All right. Well, um, this is what I'm gonna do. [coughs] We're gonna put you out before the show starts. We're not gonna open the curtains. We're just gonna kinda open it up."
- LHLewis Howes
Wow.
- JKJo Koy
"You'll just go through it." Kinda like Carol Burnett. You remember the Carol Burnett Show where-
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah
- JKJo Koy
... when the girl would walk in between? He's like, "We're gonna go through the curtain. [coughs] And then, um, don't say, 'Welcome to Def Jam.'"
- LHLewis Howes
[laughs]
- JKJo Koy
"Don't say, uh, 'Are you ready for the show?' And when you say good night, just say, 'My name's Jo Koy. Good night,' and then come back through the curtain." Uh, and we're still seating people, all right? So, uh, you know, the house lights will be on, but, you know, it's-
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah
- JKJo Koy
... it's a packed house. And I'm like, "Okay."
- LHLewis Howes
Of course.
- JKJo Koy
And he walks off, and I literally look at my sister, going, "I'm, I'm gonna eat my ass out there. This sucks," right? Like, "What the... Like, why am I even here?" I was so pissed.
- LHLewis Howes
There's no warm body, no warm body in. Yeah, people are walking in.
- JKJo Koy
Yeah, it sucked, dude.
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah.
- JKJo Koy
It was completely cold. And then all of a sudden [laughs] , the stage manager o- overheard everything, right? And he walks up to me, and he goes, "Hey, man, I just want you to know we're about 89% full. Like, we're not gonna leave the house lights on. It's, it's pretty much packed in there. I'm gonna turn it down. I'm not gonna turn them off, but I'm gonna turn them down, so it's gonna feel good."
- LHLewis Howes
Mm-hmm.
- JKJo Koy
"But all the other stuff that he said you're gonna have to do, all right?" But I'm gonna turn those house lights down for you
- LHLewis Howes
That's nice.
- JKJo Koy
Yeah, it was really cool. And literally these two stagehands pulled the curtain like this, [laughs] and I stroll out
- LHLewis Howes
Sneak out
- JKJo Koy
... and then a spotlight hits me. Swear to God, dude. And I'm like, "Hey, I'm Jo Koy." [laughs] And I do like 10 minutes. Good night. Standing O, right?
- LHLewis Howes
Wow.
- JKJo Koy
[laughs] Standing O. I did this Michael Jackson bit that always killed. Standing O, and I crawled back through the-
- LHLewis Howes
[laughs]
- JKJo Koy
I crawled back through. I don't want to say-
- LHLewis Howes
You know, vault the side. Yeah, yeah
- JKJo Koy
... "Enjoyed that bit." I couldn't... And then he had this amazing set that said Def Comedy Jam and, you know, they had the turntables.
- LHLewis Howes
Uh-huh.
- 30:05 – 35:06
Overcoming Childhood Trauma
- LHLewis Howes
to-
- JKJo Koy
I don't know-
- LHLewis Howes
Like-
- JKJo Koy
... 'cause I was so insecure.
- LHLewis Howes
Really?
- JKJo Koy
Mm-hmm.
- LHLewis Howes
What were you insecure about?
- JKJo Koy
Um, well, I, uh, everything. My teeth were bad. I broke my teeth when I was a kid, so all my teeth were crooked and broken in half. That's why I have fake teeth. And, um, and they were fake. I mean, I had bad teeth all the way into my, [laughs] like, until I started making real money. Like in, like when I, I think I fixed my teeth when I was like 36. So my teeth were bad for a long time, and, uh, super insecure. I had like a short tooth up here 'cause I fell on a rock and it stopped growing. I, I tell-- I say it all the time on stage. I go-- I, it got to the point where I had to like put my tongue in my tooth just to hide it, 'cause I-- 'cause every time I'd smile people would always do like this look like, oh! Put your tongue in like a- They'd be scared. [laughs] They didn't know I- Yeah. So I'd always stick my tongue in my tooth, and I had to laugh at my own sh-- like I would share, like share with other people that had their tongue. Yeah. Like literally I had to do that. And like I was always insecure about my teeth and how I, I, I was losing my hair. I had severe sleep apnea with no- Really? ... no CPAP machine at the time. Like it was just everything. I was just super, super insecure, and I think the only thing that gave me confidence was stand-up. Wow. I knew I'd kill you on stage, you know? So it's like you had to get on stage. It was my superpower, yeah. Without the stage, it was like you had a lot more anxiety. I felt very-- yeah, you know, I had just like this, you know, traumatic childhood with, you know, like the divorce with my mom and dad when I was like nine, 10. You know, my brother with his, you know, his mental disability and just him in and out of like group homes and, you know, you know, hospitals. You know what I mean? And police coming to the house 'cause my brother's beating up somebody at the house. It was just a very negative, negative-- My, my childhood was set up for me to fail. You know what I mean? Really? Yeah. Big time. Supposed to fail. Especially the times that we live in, like there was no positive reinforcement with what I'm watching on TV. I'm being conditioned to think of my own race a certain way. Mm-hmm. Which led into my comedy, you know what I mean? You watch cartoons with your friends, and every time they made fun of an Asian guy on-- with the cartoon, you know, the slant eyes and the water buckets on their shoulder, and they're hobbling around building a train and, and here I am, I have to laugh at that because I don't know what funny is. I, I, I don't, I don't know if they're making fun of me. And they are. You know, I'm being programmed. I, I'm not thinking about my mom and her feelings and the racism that she's enduring. You know what I mean? I'm just watching and going, "Oh, okay." And then every Asian character that's in a sitcom has a heavy accent. [laughs] The- these are all like mental conditionings that, that kids my age had to go through in the '80s and '90s, and you're being programmed. Yeah. Indirectly programmed. So it's like, yeah, when I first started stand-up, I'm like, "Oh, this is what they wanna hear. This is what I need to do." Was it more like self-deprecating stuff then? Well, it was just-- yeah, and it was like racist stuff about my own culture, and it's just like that's, that's the times we lived in. Mm-hmm. And it was okay. It was acceptable. You don't know. I don't know any better. I'm a kid. In 1994, how old am I? I'm 23. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like I'm, I'm a kid. And you don't know. You just, you just wanna be funny, and you s- you were programmed a certain way, and you don't know it. You just don't know that you're being programmed. Like, you know, until you get older and you're like, "Whoa, Pat Morita never had an accent." Mm. Pat Morita used to chop it up with Robin Williams and Richard Pryor, uh, and he was a badass stand-up comic. But yet for some reason his roles had to have a heavy, heavy accent when he became Al on Happy Days or when he was Mr. Miyagi. It's like legendary characters, but why did he have to have the accent? Like what kind of racist [censored] is that? Man. You know what I mean? No. And that, that's why it's hard for me to explain to this generation the opportunities that we had back then aren't what they have now. Don't get me wrong, racism is still in Hollywood, but it was in your face and told to you in your face- Mm ... back then. Yeah. You know what I mean? When you get a Tia Carrere auditioning for a part where, you know, she's Filipino, but they're like, "Yeah, just, you know, you, you know, do Asian accent." You know what I mean? Go, you know, thicken it up. But yet you could sing like a rock star. That was the role that she had to audition for. Mm-hmm. And the-- a lot of Asian actresses that were like bad ass at acting, but for some reason, those are the only parts that they're allowed to go audition for. I'm just saying like the window of opportunity for anyone of color back then, that's why I said that on stage, you know, when I did live at The Forum when I said that. Like not all of us get a fair shake. And it, it's hard to explain this to people because you don't
- 35:06 – 42:47
Navigating Racism in Comedy
- JKJo Koy
see it. You don't see it through our lens. You don't understand what we have to go through. You can ask any comic that comes in here from my generation, like what was it like, you know, with these comedy clubs in LA and they'll tell you, "There's the white room." Mm. And that was the room that we wanted, which was the weekend. Friday, Saturday. And we all called it the white room. Really? White night. Yeah, man. Wow. It was white night. Ask any comic. You can-- if you had Cedric the Entertainer, ask him what night was the white night. Wow. And he'll tell you, "Oh, that's, that's Friday, Saturday at the Improv." And- And everyone wanted to get in there. Everyone wanted that. Yeah. Because that was, that was the night you got paid. That was the night that audience paid. Those were the nights that were completely sold out. But yet you looked at, you looked at the list of comics that were on, and it was all white. Unless you were already-- you made it, you know what I mean? Then you'll get a Martin Lawrence. Right, right, right. You know what I mean? Or you'll get a- One person maybe. You'll get one. One. And, and but for the most part it's, it's buried within four or five. And it's like then you get us, the guys that are trying to talk about my mom and try and also sh- sell you my point of view. But yet, you know, we, we were always hit with a, "Oh, I don't think they'll get it. Uh, maybe on a Tuesday." You know? It, it was just like some really indirect racist [censored] , man. So it's like when you ask us why we-- well, the confidence in why we do it is because the opportunities were slim and far in between. So when, when you get that call, I'm not gonna say no to it. Yeah.
- LHLewis Howes
You say yes whenever you can.
- JKJo Koy
You have to.
- LHLewis Howes
You have to.
- JKJo Koy
Even though you know they're clearly racist.
- LHLewis Howes
Right.
- JKJo Koy
They got in trouble for being racist. And then they're finally gonna ask you to do something, and you're just like, "Yeah. I mean, yeah, this is my shot. Let me do it. I, I, I can't say no."
- LHLewis Howes
Right.
- JKJo Koy
You know? So, you know, you, you see stuff like The Comedy Store with Fat Tuesdays, and you're like, "Well, why was the Black night on Fat... Why was it on a Tuesday night?" Because Tuesday night was the only night that they turned the lights off.
- LHLewis Howes
Mm.
- JKJo Koy
Like, who's going to a- anywhere on Sunset on a Tuesday?
- LHLewis Howes
Right.
- JKJo Koy
But yeah, we'll turn it on, and, and, you know, we'll give it to the Black comics, and we'll call it Fat Tuesdays. And, and Guy Torry took the challenge. Guy Torry's, "All right. Give me Tuesday night." And it went from one... It started at 8:00, and, and sold them out. And then next thing you know, they would do two shows, 8:00 and 10:00. And then next thing you know, you got a 8:00, 10:00, and 12:00.
- LHLewis Howes
Wow.
- JKJo Koy
And now you're turning out famous Black comics left and right on a Tuesday with lines down the street. Like, it's crazy, man. It's... I, I know I'm talking too much. [laughs]
- LHLewis Howes
It's all good, man. It's all good, man.
- JKJo Koy
You know what I mean? But it's just, like, those were the shows that I did. I would drive from Vegas because I couldn't get the weekend show.
- LHLewis Howes
To LA?
- JKJo Koy
Yeah, with a broken taillight. I remember I got two tickets, one going there and one coming back, and I had to come back 'cause I was at the... I was a tour guide that morning with a broken taillight, and I got a ticket both ways.
- LHLewis Howes
Shut up.
- JKJo Koy
And I didn't even get paid that much. I got, like, 40 bucks just to do a show with George Wilbur and, and Gary Owen and, you know, like, like, these comics that I... Oh, Jo Torry. Like, all these Black comics that I admire at the Fat Tuesdays.
- LHLewis Howes
What is that, a four-hour drive? Some- five hours?
- JKJo Koy
Back, back and forth. And this is back in the '90s-
- LHLewis Howes
Oh, man
- JKJo Koy
... when they didn't have all those... Now you drive to Vegas, and there's so many things you can do. Like, every 30 minutes there's... or every 15 minutes there's something. Back then, man, it was-
- LHLewis Howes
Bad [laughs]
- JKJo Koy
... it was Barstow-
- LHLewis Howes
[laughs]
- JKJo Koy
... San Bernardino. Like-
- LHLewis Howes
Man
- 42:47 – 51:18
Passing Out 10,000 Fliers
- JKJo Koy
Xerox copy 'em.
- LHLewis Howes
Mm-hmm.
- JKJo Koy
And they would put it on, uh, windshields everywhere. Everywhere. They would go to the parking lot, anywhere, any, any mall or a grocery store. And I remember after I read that, I literally went to Kinko's and taught myself how to make a flyer.
- LHLewis Howes
Really?
- JKJo Koy
Yeah. And, and literally I would hand out flyers everywhere. And to this day, look, I can show you a text. I swear to you, I'll show you a text right now just to prove that I'm not lying. Uh, I asked my, my guy that does a lot of my graphics, uh, I, I need 10,000 flyers print for, for Netflix 'cause I'm about to pass these out. I don't-
- LHLewis Howes
Right now?
- JKJo Koy
Yeah. I don't give a...
- LHLewis Howes
[laughs] So you're gonna go and still do it like you did 30 years ago.
- JKJo Koy
I will. Well, I, like-
- LHLewis Howes
You'll have a strategic-
- JKJo Koy
It's a little different, it's a little different now-
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah, yeah, yeah
- JKJo Koy
... because I'm selling out places.
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah, of course.
- JKJo Koy
But I got three sold out shows this weekend. Like, you know, they're completely sold out. I'm going to Miami.
- LHLewis Howes
Why post flyers if you've already sold it out?
- JKJo Koy
Because not everybody knows you.
- LHLewis Howes
That's true. That's true, man.
- JKJo Koy
You, you, you-
- LHLewis Howes
And it might be for the next show
- JKJo Koy
... gotta be the most narcissistic human being to think that you're that famous.
- LHLewis Howes
Mm-hmm.
- JKJo Koy
You're not. There's people that do not know you, man.
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah.
- JKJo Koy
That's fine. They're not supposed to know you. You don't need to know me, but you can get to know me.
- LHLewis Howes
Oh.
- JKJo Koy
And when you do, it's up to you whether you like me or not.
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah. Give me a chance. Watch one segment.
- JKJo Koy
Watch it.
- LHLewis Howes
Watch a 10-minute thing.
- 51:18 – 56:57
The Ultimate Art Form
- JKJo Koy
I, I think that's the thing about stand-up that, that has this, uh, weird, uh, perception, right? Like, "Oh, you're a stand-up comic. So, uh, um, here, go inside this broom closet," and there's two guys standing there.
- LHLewis Howes
Ready?
- JKJo Koy
Kill 'em.
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- JKJo Koy
It's like, no. Uh, like, you would never do that to anybody else.
- LHLewis Howes
Uh-uh.
- JKJo Koy
Like, we're not clowns.
- LHLewis Howes
[laughs] Yeah.
- JKJo Koy
Like, you got a bunch of people at round tables eating sushi right now-
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah, yeah
- JKJo Koy
... getting drunk.
- LHLewis Howes
Not a good setup. Yeah.
- JKJo Koy
And you want me to what? With no opener? You want me to what? Like, get... Stop.
- LHLewis Howes
Mm-hmm.
- JKJo Koy
Like, like-
- LHLewis Howes
So that doesn't work
- JKJo Koy
... like, no.
- LHLewis Howes
You, you wouldn't do that.
- JKJo Koy
It's like, and anyone will tell you that. Everyone's got one, dude. I got... Bro. Everyone's got... You know how many comics, you know, take these corporate gigs and they hate it?
- LHLewis Howes
Mm.
- JKJo Koy
They hate it, but they take it 'cause you guys pay so much money.
- LHLewis Howes
The most. Yeah.
- JKJo Koy
I, I stopped. Like, I stopped years ago, and it's, it hurts. It-
- LHLewis Howes
'Cause the audience isn't as engaged, is that right?
- JKJo Koy
No. Because you feel like a... It's a cl- it's clownery. It's, like, these big round tables with big giant table settings and knives and forks clanking.
- LHLewis Howes
Green banana clanking. Yeah, yeah.
- JKJo Koy
And people are asking for more wasabi. [laughs] And you want me to be funny.
- LHLewis Howes
They pay you a big check.
- JKJo Koy
Yeah.
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah, yeah.
- 56:57 – 1:00:50
Lesson From His Stepdad
- JKJo Koy
Yeah
- LHLewis Howes
... you had a tumultuous, you know, childhood. You were mentioning tr- a lot of trauma with the divorce and stepdad and then dad.
- JKJo Koy
Yeah.
- LHLewis Howes
What was the biggest lesson your stepdad taught you that has guided you throughout your life?
- JKJo Koy
My, my favorite that I like to tell people and smile is, uh, fix your bed. Fix your bed. A dirty, a dirty bed is a... A messy bed is a messy head.
- LHLewis Howes
Mm.
- JKJo Koy
And he was military. You know what I mean?
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah.
- JKJo Koy
Two Purple Hearts, two Bronze Stars, and a CID badge.
- LHLewis Howes
Your stepdad?
- JKJo Koy
Mm-hmm.
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah.
- JKJo Koy
Uh, and yeah, when he came into my life, you know, don't get me wrong. I love my dad, and things happened. You know, there were fights. We had to call the cops. He fought my dad a lot, you know, and my brother was scary. He was a very scary guy. Small, but he could fight. Be like three cops on his back.
- LHLewis Howes
Really?
- JKJo Koy
And then punch in the back of his head, you know what I mean? 'Cause they won't put the cuffs on. He won't put, let them put the cuffs on. He just look at me like, "Yeah, they're scared. They're scared." And I remember looking at my brother going, "I'm scared. I'm scared, Robert." Like, "Come on. Stop." And, and then all of a sudden this guy Fred comes in and he picks my brother up and slams him. You know what I mean? 'Cause Fred's like 6'2", 6'3", big. And when my mom met him, he was like 275. Army grunt, you know what I mean? Like, this guy was in it and wasn't scared to fight, man. And I remember he, you know, threw Robert to the ground, laid on him, and he, he was like, uh, "I'ma lay here, brother. I ain't... You know, I don't wanna hurt you. I'ma lay on you."
- LHLewis Howes
Your stepdad-
- JKJo Koy
"We can wait-"
- LHLewis Howes
... with your brother.
- JKJo Koy
Yeah.
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah, yeah.
- JKJo Koy
"I'll wait. We'll wait for the cops. We called the cops. So what do you, what do you wanna do? You wanna get up and leave? And we'll tell the cops that you're gone, or you want me to lay on you right now? You tell me." My brother, "Lift me up. Lift me up." And he let him up again. My brother swung on him again. Bam, threw him to the ground again. He goes, "Look, I'ma do this. I don't mind doing this. We can keep doing this. Wait till the cops. You're gonna go to jail again. We ain't gonna see you for a while. What you gonna do, Robert?" And then Robert's like, "Yeah, let me up. Let me up. Get the fuck out of here." And he let him up, and we're walking down the steps. He swung on Fred, and then Fred grabbed his hair, hit him a couple times in the face. And then, uh, and I think that's when Robert just looked at him. It's kinda crazy too, 'cause I think it was at that wake up moment where my brother was just like, "Okay, I'm not that guy anymore." And then Robert just walked down the steps and then just walked away. And I remember looking at Fred 'cause I was, uh, I think I was like 16 or 17 when he did that, and I was just like, "Oh, okay, we got... I got a, I got this guy in my house right now. I got someone that's got my back right now." So I looked at him different, you know?
- LHLewis Howes
Your stepdad, yeah.
- JKJo Koy
Yeah. I was like, "Oh-"
- LHLewis Howes
This was you were fighting your brother. Your brother was doing this to you.
- JKJo Koy
He... No, he was doing it to Fred.
- LHLewis Howes
Oh, okay.
- JKJo Koy
But Robert always did it to us.
- LHLewis Howes
Oh.
- JKJo Koy
You know, he was pulling my sister down the steps. He would, you know, hit me, hit my dad, and you know, he's, he's scary.
- LHLewis Howes
It's childish. Yeah, it's childish.
- 1:00:50 – 1:08:43
His Mom's Hustle
- LHLewis Howes
your mom? I got a couple final questions for you. But what about-
- JKJo Koy
[laughs]
- LHLewis Howes
... biggest lesson your mom has taught you?
- JKJo Koy
I think what my mom indirectly taught me was hustle And I think that's where I get it from. 'Cause when my mom moved here, I always tell this story and I feel like, uh, like I'm on repeat and I feel bad, but, you know, there was no Facebook, there was no Instagram, there was no X, there was none of that. You know, there was no websites. You know, now you, you know, you come, you come to this country, you know, if you're an immigrant and you come to this country and you just, you wanna find a community that, that speaks your language, eats your food, and it's easy.
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah.
- JKJo Koy
Yeah, literally it is easy. You just go to Maps and type in Greek food.
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah.
- JKJo Koy
Boom.
- LHLewis Howes
Or food.
- JKJo Koy
Thousand restaurants right by you.
- LHLewis Howes
Facebook groups.
- JKJo Koy
Yeah.
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah, yeah.
- JKJo Koy
Yeah. Facebook group, Greek, w- w- friends, blah, blah, blah.
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah.
- JKJo Koy
Boom. Here we go. You can meet them that day.
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah.
- JKJo Koy
Find a friend. They didn't have that back then, bro. My mom would go to church on Sunday. We'd all be sitting with her, and she'd be literally looking around just looking for someone brown [laughs] that looked like her. And at the end, real quick, you know, "Josephine, what... Are you Filipino?
- LHLewis Howes
What's that?
- JKJo Koy
"Oh, nice to meet you," uh. Next thing you know they're talking. Now she's got this friend, now she's got that friend. Then they start renting out the Knights of Columbus Hall at the church.
- LHLewis Howes
Mm-hmm.
- JKJo Koy
You know, this is the '80s and, you know, next thing you know, it's potluck night. Now it's all Filipinos. My mom's going through a divorce. Now it's just her and, and, a- and, and her kids, so now we just gotta find, you know... We don't have family 'cause my dad's family is all we had, and now they're not with us anymore, so now we got, you know, the Portugals and all these people that are taking us in like a family and it, li- that's why I identify with Filipino culture so much 'cause of that. Like, those moments were so special to me, and that's where I was performing. Like, I was dancing like Michael Jackson at these potluck nights at the Knights of Columbus, and seeing my mom roll lumpia up, you know, our Filipino egg roll. She would roll them up and make a bag of 25 and freeze them and then sell them at work. Book these Knights of Columbus Hall shows, and everyone had to perform, and just seeing her do this indirectly is probably why I make fliers. [laughs]
- LHLewis Howes
That's cool.
- JKJo Koy
Yeah.
- LHLewis Howes
That's really cool, man.
- JKJo Koy
That's why I rent out theaters. That's why, that's why I paid for those specials when I had to instead of complaining and going public and saying, "Ah."
- LHLewis Howes
Wow.
- JKJo Koy
Yeah.
- LHLewis Howes
That's beautiful, man.
- JKJo Koy
Yeah. [laughs]
- 1:08:43 – 1:14:17
Financing His Netflix Special
- JKJo Koy
I broke Mariah Carey's record in Hawaii.
- LHLewis Howes
Wow.
- JKJo Koy
Like, 22,000 tickets sold. I broke, uh, the Forum, the Forum record. That was crazy.
- LHLewis Howes
Wow.
- JKJo Koy
First comic to sell six shows out. It was crazy. And I remember when I brought, uh, I brought, uh, my son to the Forum when I sold it out the first two times, and he brought all his classmates.
- LHLewis Howes
Ooh, that's cool.
- JKJo Koy
And he was a senior. Or not a senior, he was a, he was a junior. And I remember like, "Yeah. Yeah, man."
- LHLewis Howes
That's cool, man.
- JKJo Koy
And I brought him out on stage and-
- LHLewis Howes
Oh, man
- JKJo Koy
... and I hugged him, and all his classmates were there. I was like-
- LHLewis Howes
Damn, what a gift.
- JKJo Koy
That's-
- LHLewis Howes
What a beau- what a beautiful gift.
- JKJo Koy
Yeah. So now it's like, now I'm on the bonus features of the DVD.
- LHLewis Howes
Oh, man.
- JKJo Koy
This is all a bonus.
- LHLewis Howes
This is all bonus.
- JKJo Koy
This is a bonus.
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah.
- JKJo Koy
Talking to you.
- LHLewis Howes
Jo, I wanna acknowledge you for even that story right there of like, you know, a lot of people would've said you would've already made it by now-
- JKJo Koy
For sure
- LHLewis Howes
... before this first Netflix special.
- JKJo Koy
Yeah.
- LHLewis Howes
Like, you'd toured everywhere. You'd done it. Like, you've, whatever. You've, you've sold out a bunch of places. But you still didn't have that Netflix special, right?
- JKJo Koy
Yeah.
- LHLewis Howes
And still that story to me is still inspiring because you said, you, you said Netflix passed.
- JKJo Koy
Yeah.
- LHLewis Howes
You say, "You know what? I'm still gonna do the special."
- 1:14:17 – 1:21:33
Three Truths & Greatness
- JKJo Koy
Okay.
- LHLewis Howes
And again, I appreciate you just opening up and being honest and real about all this stuff. It's so inspiring.
- JKJo Koy
Oh.
- LHLewis Howes
And I know people are gonna be inspired by this conversation. This con- uh, this question is called the three truths.
- JKJo Koy
Yeah.
- LHLewis Howes
Hypothetical question. Imagine you get to live as long as you want.
- JKJo Koy
Uh-huh.
- LHLewis Howes
This is your bonus features, right?
- JKJo Koy
Yeah.
- LHLewis Howes
You get to do all the extra bonus stuff, all the fun stuff now. For whatever reason, uh, many years in the future, it's your last day on this earth.
- JKJo Koy
Mm-hmm.
- LHLewis Howes
And on your last day, you have to take all of your work with you.
- JKJo Koy
Okay.
- LHLewis Howes
So no one has access to any of the 50 specials you'll have by then-
- JKJo Koy
Yeah
- LHLewis Howes
... or all the content. It's all gone for whatever reason. Hypothetical.
- JKJo Koy
Yeah.
- LHLewis Howes
But you get to leave behind to the world three lessons.
- JKJo Koy
Okay.
- LHLewis Howes
Three things you know to be true from your life.
- JKJo Koy
Okay.
- LHLewis Howes
What would those three truths be for you? Three lessons you've learned.
- JKJo Koy
Oh. This one my dad said to me, but don't say what if, right?
- LHLewis Howes
Mm-hmm.
- JKJo Koy
What if I woulda done it? Oh, man. What if I tried? Like, don't ever say what if. Just do it. You know what I mean? Just be that kid, man. Like, be the kid that you are. Or that kid that, that thought they, they could fly when they jumped off the roof. [laughs] I know that sounds stupid.
- LHLewis Howes
Mm-hmm.
- JKJo Koy
But man, we can really fly, bro. You can do whatever you want. I'm flying right now.
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah.
- JKJo Koy
Not in the literal sense.
- LHLewis Howes
Yeah.
Episode duration: 1:21:34
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Transcript of episode _WSM8zrTgMs
