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Lewis HowesThis DRIVES MEN WILD! - Do This To Get Him To COMMIT To You |Matthew Hussey
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WHAT IT’S REALLY ABOUT
Matthew Hussey on Attraction, Lasting Desire, and Learning from Failure
- Hussey recounts the year he spent on the failed TV show Ready for Love and explains how the preparation still strengthened his business and led to opportunities like the Today Show and his own radio show.
- He criticizes vague self-help advice such as 'be yourself' and 'open your heart', arguing for practical, testable guidance, and shares tactics like asking a man for a small favor to help women make the first move.
- Drawing on a breakup in which his ex called him boring, he argues that a single strength like ambition attracts but cannot hold someone, and that 'unique pairings' of qualities create lasting attraction.
- Discussing divorce and long-term relationships, he draws on Esther Perel's distinction between love and desire and suggests partners keep growing and give each other space to sustain desire.
- The conversation closes with his gratitude for applying for a green card, his three life truths of kindness, humility about what you know, and enjoying the path you're on, and his definition of greatness.
IDEAS WORTH REMEMBERING
5 ideasPreparing for an opportunity has value even if it fails
Hussey says the show forced him to build systems for traffic that never came, yet his business is now stronger than ever because of that preparation.
'Be yourself' is lazy advice
Hussey argues it is given when people lack a real solution and often works as a euphemism for 'don't grow', since people constantly change.
Women can lower the barrier for men without reversing roles
He says most men are nervous about approaching, so women can 'drop the handkerchief' with a line like 'I could really use your help with something', then step back to give space and let the man choose.
One strength attracts, but unique pairings hold someone
After his ex said he was boring because ambition was all he was, Hussey concluded that combinations like ambition plus spontaneity, or cocky plus gentlemanly, create addiction rather than mere attraction.
Entitlement undermines love
He sees the belief that love should require no effort as the biggest mistake in dating and a driver of divorce, arguing confidence is not enough and you need competence.
WORDS WORTH SAVING
5 quotesBe yourself is extraordinarily lazy advice. It's the advice people give when they don't know an actual solution.
— Matthew Hussey
It's not enough to have confidence in life. You have to have competence. You have to actually know what you're doing.
— Matthew Hussey
One quality can make you really attractive, but it won't keep someone.
— Matthew Hussey
The most tremendous waste of life is when we obsess over the paths we didn't take instead of figuring out how to enjoy the one that we have taken.
— Matthew Hussey
Always drive in the thin end of the wedge, whatever it is. Whatever is the smallest possible thing that relates to your bigger dream, do the smallest possible thing.
— Matthew Hussey
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SPEAKERS
Lewis Howes
hostHost of the podcast The School of Greatness.
Matthew Hussey
guestDating and relationship coach and creator of the Get The Guy brand.
High quality AI-generated summary created from speaker-labeled transcript.
